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Deborah Yaffe
I think the explanation for Oliver's choice is deliberately left ambiguous, because the story stays so intensely in Elio's point of view. Perhaps Oliver is bisexual; perhaps he thinks a more conventional life will be easier or better for his career; perhaps he wants children; perhaps he doesn't have the courage to try to live at the pitch of intensity that he and Elio have sustained during their weeks together; perhaps, as Alex suggests below, he doesn't think that intensity could be sustained and would rather affirmatively choose to surrender it at its peak than see it wither over time.
What I think the (incredibly beautiful and sad) final pages of the book suggest is that he and Elio have both come to see what could only be understood in retrospect: that what they had was unique, irreplaceable, unrepeatable. But at the same time, they've also come to see that this is true of much that happens to us: every choice means a road not taken in a parallel life. Every life is like the Basilica of San Clemente, in which each new structure is built on the ruins of what came before. We are who we are in part because of what we've lost. (OK, now I'm going to start crying again. . .)
Loved this book.
What I think the (incredibly beautiful and sad) final pages of the book suggest is that he and Elio have both come to see what could only be understood in retrospect: that what they had was unique, irreplaceable, unrepeatable. But at the same time, they've also come to see that this is true of much that happens to us: every choice means a road not taken in a parallel life. Every life is like the Basilica of San Clemente, in which each new structure is built on the ruins of what came before. We are who we are in part because of what we've lost. (OK, now I'm going to start crying again. . .)
Loved this book.
Alex
I think they were both people who knew how fickle feelings can be. They didn't want what was between them to ever become a sacrifice. Sacrifice was what Oliver chose when he married, a "parallel life": one that you had to work on, secure, satisfying, not that intense and raw, but not the end of the world if it wouldn't work out, either. The "normal" life.
Imagine how much divided Elio and Oliver: their age, profession, experience, society expectations, the ocean. What they had was sacred, and I think they were terrified that when the real world enters their world, they won't be able to sustain it. It would become dirty and worn out; perhaps it could only hold on in their little enchanted Italian ghost place, and then it'd just go away and leave a void; and perhaps it wouldn't, and it would be impossible to live with such intensity all their lives.
At least that's my interpretation of it. For me the conclusion of the book is that you can hardly win with desire: you can't walk away from it but you can't really live with it, either.
Imagine how much divided Elio and Oliver: their age, profession, experience, society expectations, the ocean. What they had was sacred, and I think they were terrified that when the real world enters their world, they won't be able to sustain it. It would become dirty and worn out; perhaps it could only hold on in their little enchanted Italian ghost place, and then it'd just go away and leave a void; and perhaps it wouldn't, and it would be impossible to live with such intensity all their lives.
At least that's my interpretation of it. For me the conclusion of the book is that you can hardly win with desire: you can't walk away from it but you can't really live with it, either.
Hannah
My interpretation was that Oliver is a gay man, who lives his life deeply deeply in the closet. The clues are all there ... the talk of wanting to be good, of trying to figure out what his relationship with Elio meant, of his dad putting him in a correctional facility and then the ultimate "I can't". Without doubt Elio was the greatest love of his life but he chose a parallel life, one mandated by societal expectations, familial expectations, perhaps career expectations. So many men - people - have lived that life, especially in that time, and so many still live it now. That for me was the absolute heartbreak of this book. I have a number of young gay friends and I am so grateful that we are now moving towards a world where they can live honestly, openly and authentically. Oliver could not.
Tom Osborne
This answer contains spoilers…
(view spoiler)
Ten Thousand
This story hit me like a ton of bricks, which I think is what we are all connecting to with our own personal stories. I have been playing my own story over and over again in my own head which had been usually tucked away in the attic of my brain like all the other ghosts who inhabit us.
No one has really mentioned the element of fear which affects all of our decision making. While Elio is apprehensive in the beginning and unsure of himself he has less at stake than Oliver. Oliver as we know is older and fear has a way of weighing in on us as we age. We become more aware of the consequences. Elio and Oliver could have gone on to have a life together. Elio's choice would have certainly been supported by his family. Elio may have been a little afraid but it is Oliver's larger fear that prevented a life of togetherness for them. When we are young we are fearless. Nothing is impossible. And then the world comes in in some way and often crushes and changes our heart. It is when Oliver leaves that Elio's heart is crushed for the first time irreparably changing him forever. It wouldn't be the same if Oliver came back; it would only work if Oliver never leaves in the first place.
Desire and passion ebb and flow. This story is interesting because it reminds us all of a universal heartache that we all experience. If the story had had a happy ending, would it be as beautiful? Yes, but perhaps not as poetic as the ending the author chose. But why? Why couldn't it be just a poetic with Elio and Oliver forever living together? Personally, I would like believe that the parallel version of staying together offers the rest of us hope instead of reminding of us of our own sadness.
And while the book alludes to Oliver's future, we don't really know Elio's future. Who does he become? Who does love? Does he get past Oliver so he can love another? What do you think becomes of Elio?
No one has really mentioned the element of fear which affects all of our decision making. While Elio is apprehensive in the beginning and unsure of himself he has less at stake than Oliver. Oliver as we know is older and fear has a way of weighing in on us as we age. We become more aware of the consequences. Elio and Oliver could have gone on to have a life together. Elio's choice would have certainly been supported by his family. Elio may have been a little afraid but it is Oliver's larger fear that prevented a life of togetherness for them. When we are young we are fearless. Nothing is impossible. And then the world comes in in some way and often crushes and changes our heart. It is when Oliver leaves that Elio's heart is crushed for the first time irreparably changing him forever. It wouldn't be the same if Oliver came back; it would only work if Oliver never leaves in the first place.
Desire and passion ebb and flow. This story is interesting because it reminds us all of a universal heartache that we all experience. If the story had had a happy ending, would it be as beautiful? Yes, but perhaps not as poetic as the ending the author chose. But why? Why couldn't it be just a poetic with Elio and Oliver forever living together? Personally, I would like believe that the parallel version of staying together offers the rest of us hope instead of reminding of us of our own sadness.
And while the book alludes to Oliver's future, we don't really know Elio's future. Who does he become? Who does love? Does he get past Oliver so he can love another? What do you think becomes of Elio?
Marc
What stood in the way of Oliver riding off into the sunset with his prize, Elio? Why would Oliver marry when Elio was in his heart, his cor cordium? Was Elio just too young to fit in Oliver’s life? Was it the times, how difficult for men trying to pair off, especially compounded by the appearance of being with someone so young. Even Oliver admitted he would have been sent away by his parents if at 17 years Oliver had been the one to be involved with a man I question if fair to expect Oliver to entertain a scenario where he and Elio could carry on past six weeks. How lucky for Elio and Oliver that Elio's parents behaved how they did! But the way society was back then, and the idea that Oliver already had a long time girlfriend easing in and out of his life, one might not be surprised Oliver went with the safe, traditional choice. Perhaps the traditional family was his preference anyway. Oliver is not the first bisexual man that gave up a love like Elio in favor of traditional marriage. Perhaps he preferred women more than men or as much as men. We don’t know. We must know Oliver was in love with Elio, very much so. Their last night together, Elio wanted to take that girl back to the room where I expect Elio wanted to have a threesome, but Oliver did not allow it. He did not want to share those last moments with his beloved Elio.
In the beginning of the story, Elio admitted "if not later when was my shibboleth”. I took that to mean Elio was looking back, that there could have been a “later” if only he had tried harder. But how can a teenage boy accomplish much in that regard. Looking back, Elio seemed to recognize he lost the opportunity to at least try. But if he had somehow tried, would Oliver have acquiesced? During the Christmas following their summer together, it seemed Oliver would not. The chapter with Elio was finished. His time to marry had come.
In the beginning of the story, Elio admitted "if not later when was my shibboleth”. I took that to mean Elio was looking back, that there could have been a “later” if only he had tried harder. But how can a teenage boy accomplish much in that regard. Looking back, Elio seemed to recognize he lost the opportunity to at least try. But if he had somehow tried, would Oliver have acquiesced? During the Christmas following their summer together, it seemed Oliver would not. The chapter with Elio was finished. His time to marry had come.
Xu
Just to add that the book did mention if Oliver’s father had found out about him and Elio, he would have been carted off to a correctional facility. So I think there are also family pressure and probably different upbringing as well.
This also add to the dimensions on why Oliver resisted Elio at first as well I believe.
This also add to the dimensions on why Oliver resisted Elio at first as well I believe.
Van Le hoang
His love for Elio never faded and there are plenty of evidence in the book that says so. It's just that given the external factors, this is the best course of action for both of them at the time. Oliver is going to finish his PhD soon and is just about to get his first book published and start his career as a professor and Elio is one year away from college. They both had their own path in life laid out neatly before them and to choose to be together, in a time when homosexuality is considered a taboo, is inconceivable. Oliver might have also believed that everything between them was just "fun and games" to Elio and that he'd be able to move on and find someone else, so by leaving their love behind, Oliver thought he was giving Elio another chance to try.
St. Gerard Expectant Mothers
I'm a firm believer that the Kinsey scale has fluidity and that self identification of one's own sexuality, attraction, or gender is one up to the interpretation of the individual. The ending was ambiguous and I loved that it was speculative of what happens in the aftermath. I know there are people that identify as heterosexual, had a homosexual experience, but then lead a "straight" lifestyle of marriage and children. Whether or not they find fulfillment or happiness is questionable.
For Oliver and Elio, both did admit to being sexually attractive to both genders but never fully state they are bi, straight, or gay. Though both men shared a deep connection, there is plenty of speculation whether the relationship was truly genuine or completely one sided, especially from Oliver's side.
Then there is societal pressure and expectation for someone to fit a hetero-normal existence due to whatever personal or religious beliefs. Take plenty of closeted men and women who hide their sexuality from their spouses but continue to carry on affairs even after they are married. Is Oliver doing that or is he truly happy in his marriage? We really don't know but again it's up to the reader to decided that.
Personally, I think Elio should cut his losses and move on. Obviously, he's putting forth all the effort into trying to reconnect with Oliver and I hate to think he's willing to be Oliver's sidepiece. In my head, I'm imagining him finding someone else that truly loves him and not willing to compromise himself just to keep a secretive affair.
For Oliver and Elio, both did admit to being sexually attractive to both genders but never fully state they are bi, straight, or gay. Though both men shared a deep connection, there is plenty of speculation whether the relationship was truly genuine or completely one sided, especially from Oliver's side.
Then there is societal pressure and expectation for someone to fit a hetero-normal existence due to whatever personal or religious beliefs. Take plenty of closeted men and women who hide their sexuality from their spouses but continue to carry on affairs even after they are married. Is Oliver doing that or is he truly happy in his marriage? We really don't know but again it's up to the reader to decided that.
Personally, I think Elio should cut his losses and move on. Obviously, he's putting forth all the effort into trying to reconnect with Oliver and I hate to think he's willing to be Oliver's sidepiece. In my head, I'm imagining him finding someone else that truly loves him and not willing to compromise himself just to keep a secretive affair.
Sandra
I think because he was trapped in social / family expectations. Also, he thought that his feelings for Elio would fade away and eventually remain like a sweet summer memory. Only to discover 20 years later, that he was wrong and their love was still there, alive and unique and irreplaceable.
Sebastian Saliast
You know, gay life in the USA has, Thank goodness, become a more joyous, celebrated experience than it was as far back to the 80s. I was the exact same age as Elio in 1983 but was a sheltered, naive, "warehoused" Catholic boy in a High School that actually had books saying how masturbation and homosexuality were sins and enough to condemn you to hell. So, I kind of blindly "bought" a bill of goods that I was straight, would eventually marry, have kids and my fascination (attraction) to Jon Erik Hexum had nothing to do with being gay.
Well, obviously, WRONG, lol!!
Anyways, point is just that I never finally worked up the courage and the capacity to come out as a gay man til I was 26. At times, when I compare my experience to that of Elio it saddens me what I missed out on. Then too, it was the height of the AIDS crisis and it seemed that being gay was rewarded by becoming sick, it was frightening.
This movie and book are such a beautiful, heart-wrenching insight in to the many self judgments and yes, sadly loathing many gay men face when accepting who and what they are.
Aside from the age difference, they were from different continents. Often times now a relationship gay, bisexual, straight whatever between a 17 and 24 year old is not unheard of.
With all the complexities involved in their relationship, I think Oliver and to a lesser degree Elio too knew that longevity of this relationship was like a firecracker, one whose fuse was lit so quickly but doomed to end just as quickly with the departure date of Oliver approaching so rapidly.
If Elio had fallen in love with a 24-year old summer resident who resided in Italy, the challenges involved would have been so much more realistic to navigate.
In the end, I do believe their love, was the greatest love affair both will have every shared. They were truly lucky to have found what they did even for as short a time as it was, of course the romantic in me wishes they could have braved the odds to have been a committed gay couple but the burdens were just too severe overcome.
The movie is spectacular. Reading the book after was such a delight in that I was able to so much better understand Elio, what he was going thru during this six weeks. Some refer to him as neurotic I believe that describes much of the gay population especially during their younger ages (so many of his fears and paranoia are the exact same way I felt at his age and do even sometimes to this day) and this is not a criticism just something so many do to ourselves. We are our own worst enemies/critics.
I strongly suggest watching the movie before reading the book. I'm so glad I did in that order.
Well, obviously, WRONG, lol!!
Anyways, point is just that I never finally worked up the courage and the capacity to come out as a gay man til I was 26. At times, when I compare my experience to that of Elio it saddens me what I missed out on. Then too, it was the height of the AIDS crisis and it seemed that being gay was rewarded by becoming sick, it was frightening.
This movie and book are such a beautiful, heart-wrenching insight in to the many self judgments and yes, sadly loathing many gay men face when accepting who and what they are.
Aside from the age difference, they were from different continents. Often times now a relationship gay, bisexual, straight whatever between a 17 and 24 year old is not unheard of.
With all the complexities involved in their relationship, I think Oliver and to a lesser degree Elio too knew that longevity of this relationship was like a firecracker, one whose fuse was lit so quickly but doomed to end just as quickly with the departure date of Oliver approaching so rapidly.
If Elio had fallen in love with a 24-year old summer resident who resided in Italy, the challenges involved would have been so much more realistic to navigate.
In the end, I do believe their love, was the greatest love affair both will have every shared. They were truly lucky to have found what they did even for as short a time as it was, of course the romantic in me wishes they could have braved the odds to have been a committed gay couple but the burdens were just too severe overcome.
The movie is spectacular. Reading the book after was such a delight in that I was able to so much better understand Elio, what he was going thru during this six weeks. Some refer to him as neurotic I believe that describes much of the gay population especially during their younger ages (so many of his fears and paranoia are the exact same way I felt at his age and do even sometimes to this day) and this is not a criticism just something so many do to ourselves. We are our own worst enemies/critics.
I strongly suggest watching the movie before reading the book. I'm so glad I did in that order.
Lelyana's Reviews
I don't think Oliver loved Elio enough to be with him. Oliver has a complicated love. He is bisexual, and he's obviously obsessed with Elio. But his love/lust/obsession for Elio. didn't make him wants to be with Elio forever. IMO, Elio is one part of his life's episode that he, until 20 years later wouldn't let go. The ending itself has an open possibility of them to comeback together as they were before. But Oliver have a wife and children now, he's like trapped in a life he didn't really want but he has to stay, you know?
I hated that Elio never moved on from Oliver, he's still single and lonely. That made me mad to Oliver all over again. Giving him hope and then he's just let go? But this is a first love tastes like. What I told myself was, to understand that Elio is still young, perhaps, just perhaps, Oliver didn't really sure if Elio would be still loving him. He's just forgot that Elio might be young, but he's an old soul, he's too mature for his own age. Oliver forgot :'(
I hated that Elio never moved on from Oliver, he's still single and lonely. That made me mad to Oliver all over again. Giving him hope and then he's just let go? But this is a first love tastes like. What I told myself was, to understand that Elio is still young, perhaps, just perhaps, Oliver didn't really sure if Elio would be still loving him. He's just forgot that Elio might be young, but he's an old soul, he's too mature for his own age. Oliver forgot :'(
Luke
I totally agree with Fernando. Being bisexual, wanting a conventional life, wanting children, worrying about his father, or whatever else....all these seemingly reasonable explanations didn't really seem valid to me.
Was there really no way out? Look, there could have been a hundred plausible explanations for why Oliver did what he did, but at the end of the day, it all boils down to this: perhaps he didn't love Elio enough -- at least not as much as Elio loved him.
If I were in Oliver's shoes, knowing that I'm madly in love with Elio, and that he's the one I wanted, I would say to Elio: let me go back finish my PhD, get a job, and I'll wait for you there. In the meantime, finish your high school, and think about where you wanna go for college. If you are interested, you could consider coming to the US and maybe look for a school that is not too far from where I am; that way, we could see each other regularly and continue our relationship. But if you prefer to stay in Italy, I will try to find in job in the academia in Italy and move here, so that I can continue to be with you....
They won't need to come out to the world if they choose not to. Oliver’s father didn’t need to know about them if Oliver chooses not to come out. And there are no rules saying that you must be married with children to be a university professor. Besides, Elio's parents were super supportive, so these two were very fortunate compared to many others' situations out there. The Perlmans would have welcomed him as a son-in-law with open arms.
Was there risk involved? Maybe. Or maybe not. At the end of the day, Oliver didn't want to take that possible risk -- whatever risk that may have been (career, family, societal pressure, conventional life.....etc). Perhaps he wasn’t sure if one day Elio might lose interest in him? Well, to break up with someone you love ‘just in case that this someone might lose interest in you’ sounds totally incredulous to me. That doesn’t fly at all.
Oliver would have been willing to at least make some effort to try to be together if he truly loved Elio that much. I would have if I were him.
Instead, he chose to break Elio's heart.
Was there really no way out? Look, there could have been a hundred plausible explanations for why Oliver did what he did, but at the end of the day, it all boils down to this: perhaps he didn't love Elio enough -- at least not as much as Elio loved him.
If I were in Oliver's shoes, knowing that I'm madly in love with Elio, and that he's the one I wanted, I would say to Elio: let me go back finish my PhD, get a job, and I'll wait for you there. In the meantime, finish your high school, and think about where you wanna go for college. If you are interested, you could consider coming to the US and maybe look for a school that is not too far from where I am; that way, we could see each other regularly and continue our relationship. But if you prefer to stay in Italy, I will try to find in job in the academia in Italy and move here, so that I can continue to be with you....
They won't need to come out to the world if they choose not to. Oliver’s father didn’t need to know about them if Oliver chooses not to come out. And there are no rules saying that you must be married with children to be a university professor. Besides, Elio's parents were super supportive, so these two were very fortunate compared to many others' situations out there. The Perlmans would have welcomed him as a son-in-law with open arms.
Was there risk involved? Maybe. Or maybe not. At the end of the day, Oliver didn't want to take that possible risk -- whatever risk that may have been (career, family, societal pressure, conventional life.....etc). Perhaps he wasn’t sure if one day Elio might lose interest in him? Well, to break up with someone you love ‘just in case that this someone might lose interest in you’ sounds totally incredulous to me. That doesn’t fly at all.
Oliver would have been willing to at least make some effort to try to be together if he truly loved Elio that much. I would have if I were him.
Instead, he chose to break Elio's heart.
Gao Liu
I think it was because he was a professor in New England( If I am not mistaken), and he ought to have an ordinary life other being together with a boy(who was only 17 or 18 years old), besides he had that girl friend on and off for almost two years before he decided to get married.
As for love, I think the story is a little too dramatic, I guess. I don't think that was love in the first place, but it was just some nights of sex and some old memories of them which Elio wouldn't let go, with which Oliver was just trying to play along.
Elio loved the man twenty years ago. And this Oliver isn't that same old Oliver any longer. I guess Elio would have ruined all the memories if he let Oliver come back to his life.
As for love, I think the story is a little too dramatic, I guess. I don't think that was love in the first place, but it was just some nights of sex and some old memories of them which Elio wouldn't let go, with which Oliver was just trying to play along.
Elio loved the man twenty years ago. And this Oliver isn't that same old Oliver any longer. I guess Elio would have ruined all the memories if he let Oliver come back to his life.
Lihsa
It isn't clear to me when this book took place--there are some pop culture references when describing music like the Thompson Twins. If it is set, as it is presented in the movie, set in the late 70s and early 80s, homosexuality was still considered taboo. Very few men and women were beginning to declare themselves. Bear in mind that Ellen DeGeneres didn't come out until the 90s and it nearly ruined her career.
To be successful in society in the 70s and 80s, many men and women remained closeted and donned the cloak of marriage.
Today, too many take the LGBT+ openness for granted and forget the terrible fear many homosexuals held and had around their desires and passions.
To me, the underpinning of the book is Oliver's struggle to fight his desire because Elio is 1) male, 2) too young, 3) the son of his boss, 4) in defiance of Oliver's Jewish religion, 5) stirring cultural taboos.
Elio is so open with his youthful, desirous innocence. He has far less baggage. His passions and desires are so strong that he becomes reckless and wanton.
For Oliver to marry is not unexpected because he is fighting too many oppressions.
It makes me wonder what this same story would have been from Oliver's point of view.
To be successful in society in the 70s and 80s, many men and women remained closeted and donned the cloak of marriage.
Today, too many take the LGBT+ openness for granted and forget the terrible fear many homosexuals held and had around their desires and passions.
To me, the underpinning of the book is Oliver's struggle to fight his desire because Elio is 1) male, 2) too young, 3) the son of his boss, 4) in defiance of Oliver's Jewish religion, 5) stirring cultural taboos.
Elio is so open with his youthful, desirous innocence. He has far less baggage. His passions and desires are so strong that he becomes reckless and wanton.
For Oliver to marry is not unexpected because he is fighting too many oppressions.
It makes me wonder what this same story would have been from Oliver's point of view.
Marie Peram
I have given this weeks of thought. The age difference, although not huge, still has some bearing on their relationship. For years, Elio was accustomed to having a summer student around, who was older and had more life experience.
Elio was about to start his senior yr of high school. This is a big time of maturing and trying to figure out what to do with your life.
Oliver was 7 yrs his senior and after his 6 wks in Italy, he wass to return to his life back in the States. His home, his fiancee, his job, his family, etc.
What hit me was, after Oliver tells Elio about his fiancee of TWO years, Elio says "You never said anything".
Perhaps if Oliver had been honest,
Elio might not have gotten involved.
But I doubt it, as he was infatuated with Oliver. He was younger and less experienced
Elio was about to start his senior yr of high school. This is a big time of maturing and trying to figure out what to do with your life.
Oliver was 7 yrs his senior and after his 6 wks in Italy, he wass to return to his life back in the States. His home, his fiancee, his job, his family, etc.
What hit me was, after Oliver tells Elio about his fiancee of TWO years, Elio says "You never said anything".
Perhaps if Oliver had been honest,
Elio might not have gotten involved.
But I doubt it, as he was infatuated with Oliver. He was younger and less experienced
Mina
I think the answer to that question is much more simple than most think. In my opinion, Oliver did love Elio, just not enough to live the type of life he would have lived with Elio, a gay couple in the 80s. I think that in the end Elio was the one more in love, but Oliver preferred a typical life over him.
Vaso
Everyone in the comments tries to find an over-the-top reason for him to get married, but I'm gonna point out something obvious and maybe very wrong. What if he had a girlfriend back at home, they had broken up, he proposed at some point or maybe his family said it was time to propose and when he got back, it hit him like a ton of bricks. The story takes place in the 80s, I think. It's not today. Homosexuality or any other sexual orientation other than being straight wasn't that accepted.
I don't know, that is what I believe. When he said to Elio 'I can't' that Christmas night, what if he said it because he knew that he would succumb and go back to the simmer? Time had passed since their last days together, he had accepted he was getting married.
I don't know, that's what I thought of when I read it
I don't know, that is what I believe. When he said to Elio 'I can't' that Christmas night, what if he said it because he knew that he would succumb and go back to the simmer? Time had passed since their last days together, he had accepted he was getting married.
I don't know, that's what I thought of when I read it
Hien Tran
I think Oliver thought about the future with Elio many times but he couldn’t find the way for them being together. Remember when Elio found him sitting on the rocky shore, he said that he was thinking about several things including Elio, no one else but Elio. Besides, Oliver must had kept looking for evidences from Elio to show that they can be together but maybe he could not. Then once he decided to get married, he cannot cheat his fiancé, that the reason why he refused Elio on Christmas that year and scared of the fact that they might make love again 15 years later when they met again. Because he knew him so well that once he did it, he could not take it back, his life and Elio life would be miserable rather than happier.
I love Elio but Oliver should not be blamed for his decision, because Elio, on the other hand, never attempted to do anything to be in Oliver’s life. After coming back from Rome, he acknowledged with himself that 7 years is the big thing to separate him and Oliver. He didn’t said that he was not fine when Oliver informed about his plan to get married. He knew he could seize Oliver but he didn’t do it.
Both of them knew, it would be too hard for them to be with each other, that why they’d never questioned about the separation as it was obviously.
I love Elio but Oliver should not be blamed for his decision, because Elio, on the other hand, never attempted to do anything to be in Oliver’s life. After coming back from Rome, he acknowledged with himself that 7 years is the big thing to separate him and Oliver. He didn’t said that he was not fine when Oliver informed about his plan to get married. He knew he could seize Oliver but he didn’t do it.
Both of them knew, it would be too hard for them to be with each other, that why they’d never questioned about the separation as it was obviously.
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