Addicted for Now (Addicted #3)

by Krista Ritchie

“She needs you,” he tells me in a single breath. “Just don’t have sex with her. Easy enough, right?” “Yeah, it’d probably be difficult on that chair,” I say, trying to smile, trying to lessen how much I empathize with her hurt. “Not for you two.” He taps my shoulder, unfreezing me from my state and I find myself moving onward. Towards the door. Towards her.

I bury my head into his chest, the tears pooling out as he rubs the back of my head. I feel safe here.

We’re worse together when things are out of control, and during these moments we have to be careful. It’d be so easy to enable each other just to make us feel better again, but being a couple also means being intimate. Comforting someone normally involves touch—a hug, a kiss, a hand on a leg—things that send me off the deep end. We just have to find a balance.

I don’t move or force it into something else. I let him take the lead, and I don’t wish for anything more either. What he gives me is enough.

“Your fantasies—who was in them?” “Me,” I say. “And you.” “You answered so quickly,” he says in worry. “That doesn’t mean I lied. I haven’t fantasized about anyone but you since you left for rehab. You’re like…the best I’ve ever had.” His face seems to glow at the last line, taking it as truth and fact. As it is. His hand glides to my neck, caressing me gently. For the first time, I feel in a different state of mind when he touches me. In part, it has to do with my talk with Dr. Banning. I asked her what I should expect when I see Lo, and she told me that he’d want to touch me, to comfort me. And that’s what I have to accept it as. Not all touching leads to pleasure. A hug is just a hug, not the pathway to sex. This type, it’s new to me because I’ve never allowed myself to be touched this way, at least not without the desire of it progressing to other things. I think I like it.

“You don’t want anything more?” “No,” I say sincerely, “not unless you do.”

“I can touch you now without feeling guilty?” “It may not last forever.” “Then I’ll enjoy it for now.” For now. I like that too.

I’m so not used to defending Ryke Meadows, but being in his company for three months maybe opened me up to his ways.

“Doesn’t it feel good to not be the only ones?” He meets my gaze with a tilt of his head, and his lips try hard not to rise. “No, I like being alone on the fucked up island with you.” He nuzzles his nose into the crook of my neck. I laugh, a sound that I didn’t think possible an hour ago, and he responds with two light kisses on my collarbone.

The one downside to separating Daisy and Ryke, she seems less inclined to take bites of food without pressure from him. His persistence is useful sometimes. And I’ve tried to do the same “eat this” bit, but she gives me a look like I’m crazy for suggesting an avocado, and then she dodges me with word games that spin my head. Ryke can keep up. I can’t.

omg

His eyes land on Daisy, who stares blankly at her rice, very interested in a pea that she unburies. It’s the first time Ryke has shown interest in Melissa with Daisy present. Usually Melissa just hangs all over him.

“You don’t drink,” Ryke reminds her, almost growling, even though the alcohol was, obviously, a distraction. I don’t think she wants it, but I’m feeling a little defensive today. I shoot him a look. “She can have some if she wants.” I don’t want her to think she has to be sober because of me. I wouldn’t ask her to do that.

“Honestly, his advice worked,” Daisy continues, trying to dig him out of a hole, but he’s buried too deep. “So really, you can’t fault him for saying it if it helped me in the end.” “Seriously,” I say between clenched teeth, “if you don’t fucking tell me what he said, I’m going to flip the table.” Ryke winces and gestures to Daisy. “Just say it.” He gave her permission, but she’s still wary.

she cares about ryke

I was just trying to show her that it’s okay. That people can be comfortable about it. I knew I was going to cross a line, but I thought it was going to be fucking worth it. For Lily…and a little bit for Daisy too.”

i do like ryke and lily's complex friendship

“That’s funny, last time you were in Mexico, you had no problem leaving Lily and your friends to go jump off a fucking cliff.” Ryke shoots me a glare to drop it. “That was different,” she says to me. “I wasn’t storming off angry. And I already apologized…I didn’t mean to upset anyone.” “It’s fine,” Ryke tells her.

ryke and daisy are always defending each other

“Girls want to be the sole focus of your attention. They want to be all you think about, all you look at and see. You’re more fixated on chicken tacos than Melissa.”

Daisy shakes her head repeatedly, but she stares at Ryke’s back, her eyes pinned to the spot even after he climbs into the cab. Maybe Lily is right—the farther you push two people away, the more they’ll pull together.

I want to whisper how she makes me feel and how I plan to take her so many different ways. But I can’t promise her things that won’t happen. I can’t even bring her to the beach to screw because that would be considered public sex. So I just land on the truth, “I love you,” I whisper.

She sits up immediately. And I curse him for causing her to drift from me. Even though Lily is technically the cheater here, studying old exams.

And I swear, he tries not to smile. I think he’d like nothing more than to tackle her on the seat and make out with her as much as Ryke is doing to Melissa.

He keeps her close, his hands on her hips, and normally she’d probably push him off. But I think the fear of ramming into someone and beer being spilt all over her cover-up and chest outweighs her fear of intimacy with Connor.

Before I can say anything, Ryke plucks the cigarette right from her fingers and tosses it into the sand.

Connor doesn’t even ask Rose, probably knowing she would prefer to keep her feet planted firmly on the ground.

he knows her so well

Her eyes flicker beside me. Not to Lo, but to Ryke. His normally hard features are darkened slightly. And I think he’s trying really, really hard not to call Daisy a tease, just to piss her off and start something. It’s what he does. The longer she stares at Ryke, the more her smile fades.

“I’m thirty seconds,” Lo says under his breath, his eyes flickering to Ryke. “I’m fifteen.” I frown. For what? To intervene? Connor looks between them. “You both can’t be serious.” Ryke glances at his watch. “Five…” “She’s a smart girl,” Connor reminds them. “She’s sixteen,” Lo says. “Three…” And then the guy slaps her ass, and Ryke is about to drop Melissa on the ground.

“We’re leaving. Right Rose?” “Yes.” She sets a glare on each of the guys. Connor raises his hands. “I didn’t say a word.” Her eyes soften at him. “You’re exempt.”

my faves

“Daisy,” Ryke says with so much emotion to the name that shivers run down my arm. And it’s freakin’ hot out here. I think he wants to say a lot of things to her—give her some sort of pep talk about how she doesn’t have to please other people to make herself feel better—that doing so will hurt her in the end.

I remember being young, trying to navigate what’s wrong and what’s right in a place where lines blur so very often. But I had Lo to fall back on—to make sure I didn’t fall off the deep end and drown.

My phone vibrates, and I check the caller ID. Poppy.

i lowk forgot about poppy icl

I explain the dildo and the note, trying to be specific, even though all I want to do is find this guy and make his life a living hell. He’s torturing her.

I like knowing that I have the power to keep Lily safe. Before, all of that seeped away with each whiskey I downed. So yeah, this is new. But it’s a good new.

My heart crushes instantly at the thought. As much as Rose and I bicker and fight, I’d never want to ruin her relationship. Especially not with Connor, a guy who is pretty damn perfect for the girl.

“And if you dump her because of this then you’re a fucking prick. There are a million guys who would gladly be with Rose. For whatever reason, you met her incredibly high standards, and if you hurt her because she’s not experienced, I swear to God, Connor, you are going to wish you never met me.” I finish my rant, surprising myself as much as Connor. I’ve learned a lot about myself being sober. I guess I’m kind of protective of Lily, Daisy, and even Rose.

“And while I appreciate the sentiments behind that threat, it’s really unnecessary. I have no intention of hurting Rose.” He pacifies me with a few sentences as if his words are liquid morphine, but I still feel obligated to defend Rose since I divulged her secret. “She likes you,” I say quickly. “She’s just...” She’s Rose. I don’t know how else to explain it. “I know.” Of course he does. He knows everything.

“Daisy Meadows,” I say, inwardly cringing at the idea. “Sounds like someone who knows her way around a—” “Don’t even finish that sentence.” Ryke glares.

he's so protective of daisy omg

It doesn’t take long for some guy to approach Lily from behind. I stiffen but stay in my seat, trusting her as I should. His hands slide along her hips, and all these memories of seeing her dance with strange guys flood me cold. I would settle at the bar, keeping a trained eye on Lil so she wouldn’t get hurt, watching as she led some half-witted man to the bathroom. And I’d drown my misery in Maker’s Mark. As soon as his hands plant on her, his fingers slipping underneath the hem of her blouse and another falling to her skirt, she flinches and darts right into Daisy’s chest. I can’t help but smile. Some months ago, she would have played into his advances. Finally, she’s chosen me.

I glance at Ryke, and he rubs his lips, curiosity swimming in his eyes. She intrigues him as much as her actions concern him. The mix is not good,

Daisy physically moves him out of their area. He has his hands up in peace, but he’s staring at her breasts that are pushed up in a short strapless dress. He licks his bottom lip. “This is killing me,” Ryke says under his breath. “You can’t play hero to her,” I remind him. “If she was in trouble, I’d go down there. You can’t.”

“Do you trust her?” Connor asks me. I’m sure I look ready to spring down there and glare at any guy who so much as hits on Lily. But I don’t want to be that guy, the one who is so insanely overprotective that he suffocates a woman. There’s a happy medium somewhere. And it does come with trusting her.

“but if it happens, it happens, right?” Even the thought, though, devastates me. “I don’t think it will,” Ryke says. I jerk back in shock. He’s never been an advocate for Lily. “And why is that?” “Because I think she loves you more than she loves sex. And you love her more than you love alcohol, but you two just haven’t let yourselves believe it yet.”

“What kind of liquor is that?” Connor asks. My whole face falls. Wait, if Connor can’t tell… “Look who doesn’t know something,” Ryke pipes in, capitalizing on Connor’s question. “Types of liquor aren’t high on my priority list. But that’s sweet of you, Ryke, to think I know everything in the world.”

LMFAO

As soon as the words leave my mouth, Connor is on his feet, and he can’t hide the concern on his face this time. “You worried, Cobalt?” Ryke calls, but I can tell Connor’s sudden ruffled composure is making Ryke equally alarmed. Because Daisy is the other girl downing the liquor—and she doesn’t have a boyfriend here to look out for her. But she does have me.

“Did you drink anything?” I shake my head. I wouldn’t. Because then I wouldn’t be able to do this. I lean forward and kiss him on the lips. He pulls me into his body and lifts my back completely straight, swept up in the way our tongues dance together. But I retract first. Even though I love Lo, even though I’d like nothing more than to kiss him—my sisters are lost somewhere. And I need to find them. Lo sees the panic in my eyes again, and he gives me a look like I won’t let anything happen to them. I believe him. Now, more than ever, I believe that he’s here for me.

“Don’t…patronize me, Loren!” Rose points her finger at him. “I’m calling my lawyers. Have you arrested for…” She hiccups. “…public indecency.” “I’m pretty decent right now, actually,” Lo says, still smirking.

LMFAO

“How about we call it an early night?” Connor asks, his hands firmly on her hips. She doesn’t even seem to care. In fact, she leans back into him. This is probably the closest they’ve ever been, and yet it looks so natural. “Yes, we have to tuck you into bed,” she tells him. “No, darling, I’ll be tucking you into bed.” She lets out a puff of air. “I’m perfectly fine. Look.” She holds out one hand and it shakes like she’s on crack. “Steady as a rock.” Connor looks to us. “I’m taking her to the car.” “Connor Cobalt,” Rose says with a cluck of her tongue. “Is that a made up name?”

my parents fr

And this one time, I do wish Melissa wasn’t here to distract Ryke from Daisy. Because he would have kept an eye on my sister during that confetti madness and the rush of people pushing to the stage. But instead, he was busy placating his somewhat-girlfriend. Just like we told him to. This is our fault.

“Hey,” Ryke says, turning to us when we arrive. His eyes flit around us really quickly. “Where’s Daisy?” “We were going to ask if you saw her,” I say, more frightened now. He didn’t even go looking for Daisy as soon as he came down from the balcony. That would be a Ryke thing to do. Did we really scare him off that much? I bite my nails. We made a person who is so deeply caring become uncaring. How is that possible?! I am freaking out. Just a little. “I thought that you would know where she was.” My high-pitched voice causes his face to break. And then he turns his attention to Lo. “You said you were going to get Daisy.” Lo rubs the back of his head. “Lil fell on the ground. Everything was crazy…” “Fuck,” Ryke curses, the word harsh on his lips. His muscles tighten.

“She’s probably running around here somewhere. I’m sure you and Lo can find her yourselves.” No, we need Ryke. Lo will be worried about me falling on my ass so much that his attention will be split. I need someone who’s focused solely on finding her. And I’m too short to see much of anything in the crowd. “Come on,” Melissa says, tugging Ryke towards the stage to dance. He scowls darkly. “If you’re not going to help, you can go to the car.” Melissa drops her hands. “Are you serious?” “I’m not leaving a sixteen-year-old drunk girl in a fucking club!” he shouts at her like she’s not listening. “They can take care of her! She’s not your sister or your responsibility, Ryke!” “You don’t know me,” he sneers. “You don’t fucking get it.”

Ryke revives like someone struck him with a hot torch. He moves faster than I could have ever imagined. He slams bodies out of his way, on a mission from hell. Thank you, thank you, thank you, I chant each time he makes a new path for us. “Don’t let go of my hand!” Lo shouts over the music, his fingers intertwined in mine.

“We should check outside,” Lo tells him. “She may have found the exit.” “I want to be sure she’s not here,” Ryke says. A door ends the hallway. And it’s literally marked employees only. Lo grabs Ryke’s arm before he rushes inside. “We’re going to be thrown out of the club, and then we’re never going to find her.” I pale. And they both look down at me. I realize I squeaked, a petrified sound escaping. “You two stay out here then,” Ryke says. “I’ll go in. If someone throws me out, then you run down the fucking hallway and disappear in the crowd.”