Reads with Scotch ’s Comments (group member since Mar 14, 2008)

Reads with Scotch ’s comments from the Axis Mundi X group.

I'm crawling the walls with out Zyban... I posted earlier that I wanted to peal my skin off... I still do, I am fidgety, I have a pounding headache, and my brain is in open revolt against me. And I'm still in the first 24 hours. The damn gum is worthless. I have been snaking all day, I'm going to gain 50lb. by next Monday. I've been tearing my co-workers heads off all day; I'm going to take them out for a nice dinner when we get back to town, poor sad souls. My right eye has been insistently twitching for over 6 hours now. I would kill for just one drag... anybody have someone they wouldn't mind losing?

I think the trouble comes in two forms.
1) I am generally pretty disgruntled; I am a horrible guy to work for. I know it. I am stubborn and don't like to bend on anything work related. There is a policy manual for a reason people.
2) I have smoked steady since I was 13-14 somewhere about there. Never attempted to quit, till now. I tell you this; my mind is in open revolt.

Well that is not true, I have attempted just never got vary far.

I think this crap doesn't work because is sounds french.

In-put suction matches out-put pressure, check… I want a smoke, not a piece of gum…
No red lights, check… it just tastes so good
Pump capacity holding steady, check… mmm my fingers still have the stale smell of tobacco on them.
1…2…3…4… check 4 control room tech’s present… Maybe I should make it 3 control room techs… nobody would miss her… I could bury her under 40 feet of snow and nobody would know… A polar bear would eat her remains before anyone found her… Then I could have a smoke.

I'm trying to keep my mind off of the bad thing... So I focus on another... At lest that way it is bad for her health not mine }:-D

The troll is starting to push me…

I can see her over there; her wee beady eye’s peaking over the consol. superficial thoughts running through her head…

“I wonder what color hell is?”

“Do tampons come in size bitch?”

“I wonder if everyone knows, I am an insecure little twit that has no life.”

“If I suck bill off tonight will I get a raise?”

“Is it my paints making my ass look big, or is that just my ass?”

“Why is nick shaking like that? Whats he doing?... Oh he’s coming over…. What is that in his hand? OOOw Ouch it hurts, why why why are you stapling my hand over my mouth!”


I hate her. I want a smoke.

The only flaw in you brilliant plan is that I work on a live in station, in the middle of the Alaskan tundra, My office is about the size of a small bathroom, and seats 10.

(Granted there are only 4 of us left, I don't know how the troll survived the cuts, but there she is. I can se her over the Alarm console right now. Tapping her nails on the control deck. Trying to squeeze an original insult out of her fucking tiny head, to sling around the office.)

Anyway, I just… no I used to smoke right outside the door no matter the temp. Now I have no where to run, I have to be with in running distance to my station just in case. I still have 2 more weeks to go before I can gain any sympathy from my wife. By then she will just tell me to quit my boo hooing… I suppose I could fire back a slick rebuttal like…

“I have already quit something this year! So go finger yourself!”

I truly love smoking, just after a meal, first thing in the morning, after luv'ns, when walking the dog. I also use smoking to get me out of the office when something really stupid is happening. If I am sitting in front of my desk all day, how will I hold my tongue against the office troll... I see a pink slip in the near future. Pink slip to match my new pink lungs yippy... I think I should just go smoke now.

and if you want to burn your self remember that I love you
and if you want to cut your self remember that I love you
and if you want to kill your self remember that I love you.

I think heroine might help calm my nerves right about now.

I concur with your blah blah blah happy your quitting crap.... I'M NOT HAPPY! I'll bite you! Grrr... Which arm do you use less?

This isn't a hater thread, It's I need support otherwise I will be smoking by 2... 8 hours and I am losing my mind.... Twitching eye and everything. Even the office troll is keeping her distance... I guess that is a plus.

true story

This crap doesn’t work…. I want to peal my flesh off, and gnaw on my own arteries…. I know there is some left over nicotine in my system somewhere… I want a smoke. Right now…. I do have a button that will stop the flow of oil… anybody where are your smokes! Hand them over, nice and easy like. (Crying now)

Maybe if I put a few more pieces in my mouth that will help. Somebody just stab me…

I think it goes beyond that Clackamas. I am not a computer engineer but my wife is pretty close. The windows OS is riddled with poor programming and a gazillion back doors, Mac's are a tight ship, so most hacker’s pass them buy due in part to the complex code needed just to access the Mac’s

Well, I think PC is a dieing breed. Terds do float but eventually they get flushed, Microsoft Has done a lot for the Computer industry, but their failure to change and actually improve their products has hurt them bad, now they are behind the power curve and losing ground fast. What I don't get is how can Mac's be bug/virus free, without intrusive spywear, virus protection and all the other hoopla, and PC's even with all that shit, go down all the time? Bill your shit is broke fix it.

If I were wearing panties I would be creaming them right now, I love my Mac, Me and my wife will not allow a PC threw our front door. My heart sinks every time I come to work and look at this dilapidated box, often showing me the blue screen of "fuck off and do your work elsewhere"

I don't see why so many people are holding on to their PC's like they are something special. We have 2 Mac desk tops and an Ibook, Never had a single problem with any of them over the years, no crashes, no viruses, that’s not bad for over 5 years running

Bill gates you are in trouble... Umm good game console though. XBox live rules!

D&D The last time I was home my wife surprised me with that. I was told we were going to a friends house for dinner, Well dinner turned into 9 hours of D&D, I have never played it before so I was totally lost... I have a trick up my sleeve though, I bought the nerd bible. So the next "Dinner party" I will clean house.


Oh and Amy... I'd do ya.

I never liked bluegrass until I went to the Bluegrass festival in Anderson Alaska... It's like the Woodstock of Bluegrass. It was cool, expanded my musical tastes so I guess that was good. I still prefer the blues to bluegrass though.

I am so sorry work got in the way of controlling the thread Amy {:-p there is a lot to digest here, hopefully some of it will help out in my mission. Some things to consider that may alter your suggestions though.
1) This is Alaska; there are no clubs... well in anchorage but not here.
2) Vary limited female pool, I think that stats are like 3 to 1. Alaska is a lot like a deserted island, if you don't bring it here you probably won’t find it here.
3) I have tried to get him to talk to my 1 single female hippy friends, He just gets so shy and locked up that he makes a complete ass of himself. She even invited him to a concert in AZ last summer, He went, but only responded to her questions. She finally gave up.

RA: I have the same problem you do; I just don't hit on women... I think, my wife thinks I do all the time, I don't see it, or maybe I just don't know what Flirting/hitting on is.

Well, He is big into hockey, but will only go if I or a couple of the guys go with him.

I got him hooked on Xbox360 Live, that helped him network with other people in a "safe" way. But doesn't really build people skills.

Other then that, sitting on my couch drinking my beer, and joking with the guys. We seem to have hit a plain. And I don't know how to elevate him any further. But I believe everybody deserves a chance at a companion. So I must try to open him up. He really likes astronomy, camping hiking. But he never branches out away from the group. He doesn't interact with anyone unless he must.

I know we have accomplished a lot with him, but still, I just feel really bad, I mean he is leading half a life, and that is no way to live.