MJ’s Comments (group member since Dec 23, 2014)

MJ’s comments from the What's the Name of That Book??? group.

To be fair tho... I am a ‘victim’ of my year 5 teacher telling us when we were writing stories, ‘everyone has a side, you need to make sure you’re not ignoring the other characters opinions’.

I’ve always been stuck thinking about the other people sides. Don’t always agree with them or see how they could be, but I know they have them and try and take them into account when needed.

Not to you or me, but to the perps... their wires are crossed and make it so. It’s interesting to see how people get to different opinions and ideas. There are some things that I CAN (if it’s written right) love in a book that I would NEVER accept irl... like NEVER EVER EVER NEVER, not even close NEVER. And probably some things that I’d be fine with irl... but the way it’s written makes it wrong or unacceptable in that book. It would be boring if every character was held to our standards. No murders, no ‘wrong’ hair cuts or dress codes, no jobs we wouldn’t take, no opinions we wouldn’t agree with, no lifestyles that wouldn’t suit us. No relationships we wouldn’t accept ourselves. Boring.

Safe, sane, legal & consenting. I don’t much care what people do as long as it’s got that covered, and fiction is fairly open for me. I’m unlikely to read a book about a loud and proud pedophile, but would probably read one about bringing one down and to some extent, without being graphic, I would probably like to see some of their POV, and why they think they’re in the right. But age, experience, language barriers, even culture and more can all make one or more of those points wobbly or broken. You can’t bring in a mail order bride (not that I’m a fan of it anyway) and tell her ‘this is how it will be’ and have her arrive to a completely different situation. You can’t ‘teach’ a child ‘this is normal’. You can’t pressure and manipulate partners into things they don’t want to do, but you can explore things as long as both parties freely agree and if one says wait or stop, that’s what happens. Kids and animals CAN NOT CONSENT... that’s a hardline imo. They simply can’t, even if they’ve been abused to consider it ok.

How easy is it for an older partner to say to a younger one (19/20 to 30/40 or any)... I thought you were more mature than that, or are you really this young? All of a sudden, whatever upset or worried the younger partner is invalid and pursuing it just reenforces what we all hate to admit at any point, especially young, you don’t know everything and experience can make you see a situation completely differently. How many times have you looked back at a relationship and thought, ‘wtf, how did I not see that?!?’ Even healthy ones can look different from a decade later.

Off topic kind of, but I’m just waiting for someone to take the US (and other) governments to trial over child sex trafficking. There are (to my knowledge) still some states and countries that will force a pregnant child to marry their abuser, making the new child ‘legitimate’ (what a f’ing joke) and giving the abuser full and total control over their new sex slave, who is now classified as wife instead of child victim. They have no where to go, no options for a better life, because the system that should have protected them has instead trafficked them to make the paperwork look better.

I agree that’s pretty full on for GR’s, and am so glad I missed it... but... G has a point.

Romance doesn’t need to be reciprocated in any way. Murderers can see the romance in their attacks. Stalkers can see romance with a person they may never have meet or had a conversation with. Pedophiles and pedergasts (geez, I just googled that for spelling and was squinting at the screen in case something horrific showed up. Thankfully it was just dictionary, but I clicked out so fast, I’m still not sure I spelt in right!) see romance in the manipulation of a child. Abusers see romance in ‘correcting’ their partners (not talking bdsm relationship) or at least in the apologies and forgiveness that’s demanded between attacks.

The scariest thing I’ve ever heard was on tv - SVU maybe? At the end, the pedophile said to the detective the 50 years ago homosexuality was illegal too, so it was just a matter of time before the world accepted child abuse as acceptable. I was absolutely chilled to hear that sentence, and in a way, it’s based in truth. While I/we/gen pop will NEVER accept a relationship as ok that has such a power differential and gives the child (or animal IMO) no option but to work with what they are taught, taboo is only taboo until it’s not. Having a conversation with a friend from a different culture can be eye opening as to what’s normal.

I’ve never come across it in a book, but there’s a doco out there covering a mans romantic relationship with a captive dolphin in one of the parks. Can’t remember where (America?) and think the events were in the 70’s, but he’s come out in the last decade or so (once he knew he wouldn’t be charged) and described the ‘loving relationship he had with the dolphin who wanted him too’. I only saw some snippets, but he was convinced it was a mutual loving relationship... even tho he was sneaking back into the park after hours to ‘date’.

It’s just so easy to get confused as to which ‘girl in love with biker’ thread you have a new suggestion for. But easier to find ‘girl in love with biker, neighbours in childhood and surprise pregnancy’.

Tho I admit, I often MEAN TO edit and refine and title and the content... but by the time I’m finished listing (ALL those) details, I usually JUMP on POST before I can have a crash and lose everything. Then it’s impossible to edit on the app and I never get around to logging in.

Oh, yeah. Easy.

😣 mine are probably some of the ones that bug you! Lol, sorry.

Ayshe... what’s a kilometric title mean?

And RBG... I agree. Not so much that they disturb me, but I KNOW I’ve never read a book anything like what they are hunting, so seeing it forever more when we have SO MANY on the go bugs the b-g-b’s out of me. I’m almost always on my app, and for the most part, I only click on my notifications button to see what’s new (in all my threads)... so when the mods are on a rampage, my available list of 30 threads gets smashed and I miss any others that were updated too. It will show me a number up to 50, but only lets me see the last 30 updated. Occasionally I’ll go into the groups I have to see if I’ve missed anything there, but more often not. Makes me happy & sad when I solve a 2 year old post that I know at a glance, but it’s obviously only been bumped when I’ve missed the 30 mark!

It’s a slippery slope tho... how to decide what and how users can hide threads. If people aren’t getting looks, that becomes a problem. Maybe another button that shows ‘your hidden threads’? (and yes I know I’ve probably asked for a dozen extra buttons by now). That way there’s a way you can go and find that one you kind of remember hiding, and have now seen a book that might match.

I do confess... I rarely add genres... mainly because I am HOPELESS at deciding which one it belongs to.

I tend to over share with details because I usually find that the ones I solve are because if ‘that tiny little detail’, so I figure anything might help jog someone’s memory. Tbh tho, they probably get bored reading it all and wander off before they get to the end 🥺

I don’t think most people realise that most users won’t see anything other than the title of the thread. They all assume we’ll see more in the description... but most of us (I’m assuming) generally don’t bother to go into a thread that’s a) well described, but nothing’s ringing a bell or interest for me, or b) generic help or girl falls in love...

I only click into the generic ones by accident or a very rare... I’m bored enough to bother. Safely, I’m pretty sure I’ve solved a few generic ones, but would have seen them months or years ago if they had a better thread title... and been bumped more often.

There’s also some mix up in Identical Disaster, but this time, the nice twin is filling in to dump the bad twins ex... and gets roped into a family holiday pretending to be the bad twin etc


https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...

This matches Double Trouble. The guy marries the wrong twin and then we are years later with kids and divorce and finding out what the hell happened. This one was a mole I think?


https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1...

I can’t read your spoilers cause my app always removes them... but sounds like The Truth in my Lies from what I can see.


https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4...

Thx

Sounds good, thx :)

Thx :)

Any more suggestions? (Conscious houses)

Any more suggestions? (Real world prn)

Bump (aqua)

Bump (Jennifer)

Bump (twin)