Pam’s Comments (group member since Dec 29, 2016)

Pam’s comments from the Our Shared Shelf group.

Jos was my favorite character given how fascinating her journey was and how she experienced life as the odd girl out.

And thanks Dalea. I didn't think of that before.

@ Griselda. Ooh I like that. If Ali was the Eel, what would you have the other protagonists as?

Anytime. As soon as people have read the book, topics will pop up in the folder:)
I look forward to discuss this book with you all! ."

Or you can start a topic too.

This topic section "Announcements" is reserved for the Mods. But if you clivk the link below there is a "new topic" button in the right hand side. It's under the section JanFeb 18: Why I'm: R Eddo-Lodge

Edit: html removed and link added below
https://www.goodreads.com/topic/group...

That was a fantastic post. There is so much to jump off of that. I have not yet finished the book (it came in today from my library exchange... yay!) but I would love to comment on some parts of your post.

1) Also an American and I completely agree. Civil Rights and American Slavery are known. Not well known as I think there is a lot of the civil rights movement that I haven't been exposed to, Red lining being the latest jaw dropping "what now" fact. But still something I am aware of and was taught in my schools.

But the idea that UK or any other places also experience this issue is NEW. And it shouldn't be.

If I think about it, sure UK, you have had a female PM, but what about POC leaders? The fact that Sadiq Khan, Mayor of London, was London's first minority mayor and the first Muslim to become the mayor of a major Western capital was note worthy in 2016. (!)
So I don't know why I have had this dreamy ideal in my mind that UK or other nations figured out how to get along while ignorant US hasn't.

Could you start a thread about this Amanda? I feel like this is going to get a lot of comments as more and more people read the book.

2) Gah! I'm so sorry you dealt with that! That's ughhh. I don't have words to describe the level of anger and hurt I have for your situation. I'm so sorry you are dealing with that

3) Good luck with your son. My sister is special needs so if there is anything I can help let me know. Keep showing him that he is loved and wanted. no matter what. He will need that from you the most.

Recognition.... finally.

Victims anger would be better served if acquisitions were taken seriously, with rape kits tested and leads followed up, and consequences rendered.

This was a great cap to the year, a push from the Women's March, and a promise that more is to come. Change is happening. #TimesUp

See also our thread: Being a Feminist in a Harvey W World
https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

I ran across this blog post that really spoke to this topic.

Do you know why women and POC often lack confidence? Maybe it's not always imposter syndrom.

Maybe it's because we know we'll be punished as soon as we display confidence. We'll quickly be "put in our place."

Consider that the next time you tell us we "lack confidence." From Sonia Gupta

I think for the first time the Power gave women confidence but also something to back it up with.

It's official. Hoda Kotb is a permanent fixture on Today Show making departing from the typical man-and-woman morning show format.

http://money.cnn.com/2018/01/02/media...

Haven't read it yet, but wanted to applaud the book jacket artists with their clever design that nearly erases the words "to white people" from the title.

Changing it to quickly look like "Why I'm No Longer Talking About Race." Making the "to white people" part of the negative space. A visual statement that removes them from the conversation.

Reviving this topic and moderators please let me know if this was ok. I've been looking around and this seemed the best area to do so.

HeForShe movement. Some members claim it's a lame duck that's not doing anything nor really helping men out. Others think it's working to promote other paths away from toxic masculinity. But what are your thoughts?

http://www.heforshe.org/

How is HeForShe doing?

Brilliant!

But then (view spoiler)[ they blew up the Tardis? (hide spoiler)] This is just like Janeway all over again. Grumble grumble and more grumbles.

Wow. That's awesome!

MeerderWörter wrote: " .White feminism is not about one's skin colour, but about attitudes.
It is called white feminism since mostly white women have these attitudes. It does not mean that a white woman is a white feminist. ."

Mmm could you create a separate thread for this Meerder? That's going to be something to unpack in the upcoming months.

Also: welcome to all the new OSS members who are joining in for the first time with this book! Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the forums

Yup. I'm in

E-reader/ Tablet for travel as Nyssa mentioned- purse sized library. Plus they're great for graphic novels

Paper books- for the aesthetic pleasure. The smell of the pages, the weight etc. But I dislike breaking the bindings in paperbacks and if I'm lounging around the weight of a hardback can be difficult.

Audio is great while I'm doing busy work around the house. Dishes, yard work, etc..But don't get a fantasy book or something that deals with maps.

As long as I can read I'm happy

I think we must also think about all the women who are not allowed to vote and would wish to do so.... and helping our sisiters in their demands.

Are there specific groups who are currently fighting for the right to vote we should direct our attentions?

Great topic MeerderWorter.

Where do we start?

Excellent. Thank you for this opportunity to learn more and to understand beyond my own form of feminism.

Happy 2018!

Ross said "we are all working for equality against a patriarchy and Jasmine and other women are entitled to there anger"

I agree with what Ross said above. Jasmine, you have been hurt by men, forced to do some degrading things and have seen the worst of humanity. Your anger and your opinion are yours to have and to hold. And unfortunately you are not the only nor the last who will deal with this.

This group, however, was started by the He for She Founder. Who welcomes male voices and allies. "Fighting for women's rights has to often become synonymous with man-hating. This has to stop. For the record feminsm by definition is "the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities." The founder of OSS has personally made an invitation to men and welcomed their opinions.

You are welcome to your opinions, but this forum welcomes theirs too.

So instead of belaboring that point let's move on to other items that the responders have mentioned that we can all warm to.
- reading and taking in more female content. Be it books, art, leadership principals etc.
- discussing more of micro aggressions - what are they and how we can stop them
- Household or otherwise gendered roles.
- Marriage traditions such as taking the husbands name

Always good to hear from the gents in OSS.

Any of the ladies want to chime in? I think most know that I'm opposed to many of the suggestions above. Not all. But many.

But let's hear from others, too.

Ross wrote: "All true but a note of caution we have to start somewhere people getting aid don't care where it comes from as long as it arrives despite the problems people and countries donations are vital to re..."

True. But that gives into the idea that aid is coming. The old " if it aint broken " argument. Institutions like these become institutions because we don't spend the time or energy to change them. We settle for the status quo because changing is hard and isnt a quick easy fix.

My example of this was when i stared out in non-profit running a donation center for the homeless. We asked for new or gently used goods and still were given unwashed clothing that were threadbare with holes. More than 2/3 of the goods we took in we had to turn away because i wouldn't dress my grandma in them. Or my favourite was when we would get broken chotchiks like a mantel clock. What do we do with that?

The person who donated got to pat themselves on their backs for helping out. But the people receiving didnt need or want what they were giving. The biggest challenge wasnt getting donations so much as it was helping to match the generosity to the need- educating people on how to give.

Same thing happens with mission trips or goodwill trips with young teenagers going to third world countries to help build schools or other buildings. It' s a nice gesture. But then you realize that the teenagers who built the structure had little to no exp. building buildings or holding a hammer. And then there is the concept that while those teenagers might not know a darn thing of construction beyond what their handler taught them, that the locals probably had experienced carpenters and electricians who could build it, but werent hired because free trumps expense anyday. So whats the point on gaining these skills if every summer a new class of teenagers comes down?

So while its worth it to have Jenny and Ryan and their group spend the money to see poverty first hand, their actions actually continue the cycle of poverty. So yeah, while donating used holey clothes is nice people, perpetuates the idea that individuals experiencing homelessness are filthy vagabonds who would do anythjng for scraps, and while these corporations continue to write checks, their policy only help their pockets, but does little for their employees.

@winston. Thanks. We're all on the same side here. Some of us have different reasons and different goals, but we're all on the same side here at OSS. I respect that.