Paula’s Comments (group member since Oct 28, 2015)

Paula’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Jot--excellent concept, well carried through. Fine form to the story--all set in the brief time of the final challenge, and just enough descriptip/detail that we see enough, know enough, of the place and persons to see what is going on.
The pacing is superb.
You do need to go over it again, maybe a couple of times, to smooth out your wording in a few of the sentences, and check prepositions and spellings and stuff like that--definitely the extra polish would be worth the time.
Btw, the descriptions of the fight--especially of the rotagonist parrying the blows and knocking the sword from the other's hand and taking it--are wonderfully, gracefully done.

That is correct, C. I thought best to set out only the main uses, but there are others too. Seriously suggest that anyone who feels uncertain in their grammar, punctuation, etc. usage pick up a copy of Elements of Style.

The correct use of a semicolon is to connect two or more independent clauses into a single sentence, when one wants to indicate these clauses are more closely related to one another than they are to the other sentences in the piece. It is like a period, not like a comma. If you are connecting an independent clause with a phrase or dependent clause, in most cases (not all), you use a comma. A colon is used to introduce a list, primarily (it has other uses, but learn the uses of commas, periods, and semicolons first).
I would suggest to anyone curious about grammar questions to buy (you can find it practically free at any bookstore or online) a copy of Strunk and White's old and still excellent short book The Elements of Style. Buy it and start reading it. You can look up these matters there. It is an excellent resource.

What Chris just said. Basically, this group has always had a majority of authors of the mechano-fiction and violent-conflict areas of sf; not "winning" often indicates simply that one's writing in a non-majority style here. People in this group have often been, however, very supportive of one another; I think it's worth remembering that.
Carrie, your writing is excellent and I too want to see more of it!
Chris, I'm amazed you've not published any stories yet; go for it, hey!

Oh what a sweet, inspiring, charming tale, Chris. Usually I don't go for stories with that sort of "derived" materials, but this one really worked. Because the derived stuff didn't drive the plot or anything, I think--and the robot's character is so well developed and the strong, the plot so clear and suspense so well deserved. Nice!

Thanks, Chris. And Marianne--Justin--C.
Yeah, I'm agin leaving cats alone with babies, lol.

I'm also a bit tired of the use of terms like "you gals" here by one or more of "you boys."
But most tiring are the attempts, every several months on average, of one or another person to impose his (nearly always a "he") limited version of "what science fiction must be" on the group. It's boring, it's repetitive, and it wastes our time.
On a more positive note, thank you, C., for remembering the image of a flying head/skull from my "Dem bones" story; guess I better go reread it as I'd totally forgot it, lol. (Seriously, thank you.)
On an even more positive note, very well said, Chris--yes, if we have fun with our writing and enjoying our own and others' creativity here, probably it will most encourage better and better writing.
Most positively--wonderful points very very well said, Marianne!

C., I find the concept of cats understanding the words in, or at least the general direction, of, a television show of only people talking, to be quite science fiction, actually. But in any case, the story's what it is, and I appreciated your very sweet comment about its "razor-sharp" etc,; thank you.
Marianne, thanks--and agreed about Animal Farm, certainly. I'd forgot McCaffrey's use of those cats! Do you--anyone here--know the old, old Anthony Boucher story about the couple who, bringing their cat, crash-land on a planet and have to try to survive as the aliens come out to greet them, and what happens with the cat?

Thank you, C. !

Just posted mine. No time to do a "real" one, but this was fun.

Throwing Out Litters
Copyright © 2017 by Paula Friedman

“Throwing out litters?!” Zapsie the Catsie stopped her yawn, paws stretching sidewise next to Tiggle on the couch in front of Little Mo and Big Mo’s television, where everyone was watching a people show with talking heads called “Social Darwinism.”

“Drownings, too,” added Tiggle. He scratched at a flea behind his neck.

“Well then,” Zapsie mmrrrred. Her eyes slitted closed, then opened wide, taking in wee John in his fleece-buttoned nighty where he lay, cute and tiny, in his crib. The people had begun putting him there alone at nights. Zapsie stretched her claws again. “Well then . . .

"Them or us.”

Or perhaps the question of whether to add extra elements should be decided by the person posting the month's theme--thus one gets sometimes extra elements, sometimes not. I think that's what we have now, no? No one may be perfectly happy with it, but, as Marianne notes, hey we compromise.

I guess some of us enjoy more to write on a theme WITHOUT added parameters, which can impose limits working very much against what's possible on a given theme. So, in this regard/extent, I'd disagree with Marianne's post here. On her point about the group's participants, though, I have to agree that the preponderance of male writers and of tech-heavy (or, usually, tech-seeming heavy) and/or man-in-the-spaceship-cockpit or zap-goes-the-deathray kind of stories finally disillusioned many of us with the group. As for critiquing, there seems little need for 150-word (and up) critiques of 750-word stories, generally, but I would let people decide which tales they wish to comment on and how much--more useful for authors and critiquers alike, probably. --But this is is just my 2 cents here.

I love yours this month, Tom--but not the last line. You don't need the last line, and it works very much against what you want the *reader,* not her, to be doing.
Other than that, though--cool and funny!

Nice work, Chris!

Wrote this months's story but no time to go over it and get it in on time. Very work-heavy month. Sorry.

Wish I could, Jot, but I'm swamped in work and NO "free time now. I'm sorry.

Genuinely moving, J.J. One of my favorites in the whole microstories group/s ever! Wonderful piece.

Strongly agree with Jot's point on this.

Tom, I very much like this story of yours, and it's wonderful what you're doing with the monologue voice. I hope you don't mind if I thought, a couple of times, "And Ma, when you hear of some workers fighting back out here, I'm there, and when you look up at the stars and see the freedom lights in the Centauris, Ma, I'm there, and when . . ." Thought with delight for your piece, Tom.