Paula’s Comments (group member since Oct 28, 2015)

Paula’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Excellent story, Sharon. I agree with Justin, it's very moving.

Excellent story, C. I noticed how strongly one gets pulled into the suspense, wanting Ralph to win the battle. One criticism--remove the last sentence; it's unnecessary and, more important, it cuts into the universality that the ending paragraphs otherwise excellently have achieved.
(n.b., not sure I'd characterize any of my stories, except the little cats one, as fantasies. Had you one in mind?)

Nice work, Justin. Congratulations.

Chris---a trope that might, in other hands, seem overused, but your flowing writing and very original and *felt* details make it new and powerful. Fine work.

Jeremy, I've just read your tale---a couple of hours after reading of the Brazil Museum catastrophe. The story is very good, your writing--as ever--powerful and elegant--and the last line/paragraph rises to sheer brilliancy. A fine piece.

So I wonder what happens to our books that are published by a publisher and have not only Createspace and Kindle versions but also other ebook and other printed versions? Will amazon continue to print and honor these? It seems as if amazon is going for more and more monopolization, that's for sure. lol, sort of. Thank you for informing us of this, Sharon!!!!

Thank you, C. That is very flattering and kind. I'm delighted you like "Dem Bones" so much. :)
Oh--and thanks--spelling error is now fixed!
C. wrote: "Paula,

"Germnative?" : )

If you contributed a story once a quarter like your mind-blowing little tale "Dem Bones" a couple of years back, the entire SF profile of this board would swing around to..."

Just posted one. It's not at all edited--written in the past hour or two, and now I have to make dinner. Nice to get it done, though; I've known its basics for two days.
Oh, I forgot the vices. Well, I see a very nasty vice there, though unstated as such. Okay, rubbed/slipped the vice indicator in there now.

In exchange
Copyright 2018 by Paula Friedman

Were I not of the highest blood of Darmkhoses and Colonnas, had I/we not the finessans of Ordinises, sylvan hairs of Harnasas, the crystal digolets of Syrbans, were we not blood-brethren/sistren, then it were not my blood-bred fate to step forth here, up to the sealed-shut Fracturing Gates of the Clommms’ 18th world system, and, lifting aloft the point of my finessan-olet, press the Final Shield.

And yet I am afraid. For though we are of finer digi-skills and sharper-honed than fellow Ordin-Harna-Syrban sibling-species of the OurSpace Federatho, yet are we more fragile. “Slick-bred,” as the vid-Clomm standing wide and taller than a world-tree on the Fracture-Gate’s screen before me sneers (yes, it does sneer!). “Delicate-bred and helpless to give unto us. Our worlds want warriors and porter-species, not poor wanderers chased from their systems, not refugees from long-gone systems crisped by a star’s collapse, not weak lost grav-wave riders, not . . .”

“Hey, I get it,” I interrupted, forgetting for a moment who I was—who we, Darmkhose-Colonna purebreds of the once-whole Hymna Galaxy, were and must remain. But I bowed my heads low in swift apology for such discourtesy, and when the vid-Clomm gave no sign of recognition, bowed again—this time in the pose “Abjectia—request forgiveness.”

Again no response. Well, this Clomm’s but a vid, I reminded ourselves, and my spirit-brother and soulmate Renino, and our child The Little, agreed.

“Please. Even such as we need water. And an acre on even a tiny outworld planet on which to rest. Sir.” Speaking so, I gestured to show our weary, reclining masses, the whole 80 or possibly 95 Darmkhose and Colonna survivors, sisters and brothers all, and 30 friends, aboard our shivery craft. “T’will do no good,” my spirit-soul whispered inside.

Yet a fragment-chamber opened in the Fracturing Gate, and two v-Clomms clambered through and, marching to our craft, cracked down its door and entered, watching—as my spirit-siblings/family thrust on masks to breathe amid the sudden inrush of Clommtnd gasses—the movements of our folk, the possible strengths, the too-evident weaknesses, for physical labor or endurance of starvation, of my blood-peoples. Yes, in their own way, the Clomms might be said to have “sized us up,” “given us a chance.”
Or so they could tell themselves. But we were the aliens. We were but aliens, “only aliens.” The two began to clamber back through their closing, obdurate Gate.

Because I am of the blood of the Darmkhoses and Colonnas, I started to clamber after them, and cried out “Wait.” And thought, when they paused and turned to me—us—that they moved in the courtesy of Travelers in Same Space. “Let some,” I cried, “let some of us—all spirit-soul-children one to another--as, please listen, we can be to you too!—stay on some one of your worlds. On even an arid world, even a small place. To cultivate—“

But I/we broke off, for I realized their vid-smile was laughter. Heard them say, “For what? How do we know you won't take from us? How?” They paused; then, “How can you assure us, eh?" Two vidi-digots slid/rubbed on each other. "How much will you pay? What will you give us?”

“You will let us—spirit-souls-Darmkhoses-Colonna brethren and sistren—stay upon a world here, if we pay your price? A world viable for us?” I stretched as high as I could and we/I asked. “If we pay--if we give you---?”

And felt their feelers reaching out toward me. Saw them make a motion I/we sensed now as “nodding.” Feel in this moment their digots on my back, Because I am of the highest blood of the Darmkhoses and Colonnas, I step forth again, soul-sunder out of We, take one step farther, and press, for a second time, the Final Shield, give myself as price through the Fracturing Gate.
[598 words]

I think the main reason many people left this group during the past 2-3 years or so is that there was always a split in the group between the hard/old-fashioned/etc. sf aesthetic and the more recent/diverse (in many senses) sf aesthetic, and under the pressure of a couple of added elements, it split. Plus, people may shift the focus of their writings over time. Some of us have heavily concentrated on novels or a series or simply on family or income-gaining over the past year or two. Specific to the group's choice of themes etc., probably what puts persons A, C, and E off may be entirely different from what turns off B, D, and F---hard to generalize there.
I'd say this has been an unusually helpful, germinative, and valuable group for many of us. And Jot and many others deserve much credit for this.

But then try Locus. Or any other "biggie." And by now there must be new first-readers in the F&SF offices, lol.
Anyhow, congratulations of the fine, super story.

Marianne, I loved your story. Tom, I loved your story.
I think *both* stories should get published now in places like F&SF, Locus, or the like.
These are serious, superb pieces of sf literature.
Congratulations, Tom! and Marianne!

I don't really want to jump in here, as I've scarcely had time to even read more than 2 or 3 stories here each month, recently.
Re the critique thread, though--my recollection, from 3 or more years ago, is that the critique thread was begun specifically to take the critiquing out of the comments thread, so that no one would accidentally come on critiques while reading general group news/discussions/etc.--i.e., so that persons not wishing to read critiques during the judging period didn't have to.
As for diversities---in fact, Jot's group was more diverse in its early years, although always leaning toward "hard/old-fashioned/space-ships-and-tech/space-war" more than toward the more literary or "speculative" or fantasy-tinged sf that people often work in today. At a certain point, the balance tipped further toward "old-line" sf, until the group stabilized largely as it now stands. To regain diversity of styles and themes, perhaps--in addition to the excellent suggestions to ask diverse friends/writers of diverse style to visit or join the group--run 2 or 3 months (in a row) of themes common to speculative, literary, or fantasy-related sf (for instance, a world only describable in 6 dimensions, or a Dostoevskian-style narrative, or a story of music and mouse-folk)--and perhaps the same for any parameters, and *defintely* for the styles. Since persons who consider joining probably will first read some of the stories, this may entice them to join much more than would, say, a story of alien computernauts who (1) must have 3 legs, (2) are at war with Planet Sparta, and (3) must be humorous. And, this stretching of bounds can open up possibilities here for those concerned with possible "same-old same-old."
Having said which, I enjoyed this month's stories but am crazy-busy and no time to do a good voting job this month.
Chris, I am amazed that you've no publications; send stuff out! And that goes for others here too.

Hey Tom, that story is sweet! Really well done, and actually invlving, and--in the jump back near the end--and in fact in most the story--you do in 750 words what S King used a whole book to do in 11-22-63. But you know this, right?
I think I'd have liked a little more sense of how the neutrino-black-hold-time-ripple process worked--or rather, some articulation that would give it a bit more substantial a sense. But this is a minor quibble. A terrific, professional-level story.

Wishing you a very good trip, Justin.

Good work, Justin!

Yes, every 2-3 years this group seems to go a round of "Is any science fiction except "hard" science fiction really SCIENCE fiction?" And yet little of what's called hard science fiction (that is, with plot points focused, generally, on tech, space travel, A.I., interplanetary/.interstellar exploration, or the like, and often in a military or semi-milataristic setting) involves actual science--which, except in applied-science, tends to involve theory, mathematics, even philosophical (and/or mathematical) concepts, rather than the various modes of most "hard" sf. There are exceptions--Benford's and Robinson's and Willis's novels, for instance, and for instance some of PKD's and Sheckley's stories, but they are not the norm.

Yes, every 2-3 years this group seems to go a round of "Is any science fiction except "hard" science fiction really SCIENCE fiction?" And yet little of what's called hard science fiction (that is, with plot points focused, generally, on tech, space travel, A.I., interplanetary/.interstellar exploration, or the like, and often in a military or semi-milataristic setting) involves actual science--which, except in applied-science, tends to involve theory, mathematics, even philosophical (and/or mathematical) concepts, rather than the various modes of most "hard" sf. There are exceptions--Benford's and Robinson's and Willis's novels, for instance, and for instance some of PKD's and Sheckley's stories, which do explore and use actual science concepts--but they are not the norm.

As a mom, I thank you, Tom and Jot, for your sweet sentiments!
Bradbury's still wonderful to reread, Tom; In The Martian Chronicles, "Ylla" and "There will come soft rains" and the one with the kid thinking Here are the martians--his brother and his sister and his parents and... are still beyond wonderful.
A good Mother's Day to the mothers, fathers, and parents' children here!

So now we are youthxplaining things to old folks?