Dwayne’s Comments (group member since Apr 01, 2017)

Dwayne’s comments from the Support for Indie Authors group.

Ben wrote: "I'm already at 50K, and my story is barely 1/3 finished."

So, in the rough draft phase. Yeah, it's not the time to worry. Even if you do surpass that 124K, you might find a lot of stuff to cut in the revision / editing stages. And if it does fly past 124K, 200K, or beyond? As long as your story is tight and compelling, that's the more important thing.

I had to look up what "comp titles" mean.

In another thread, just today, another member warned that using this tactic in your blurb can result in a warning from Amazon.

Also, note to anyone who responds to this: Please only give the title of the book. Do not post links. Thanks.

Jude wrote: "I think some of us interpreted the post ..."

Moot point. The rules state:

#7 - No links. To books. To blogs. No links.

We used to limit posting links, but due to the increasing number of harmful links being shared, we now ask that you DO NOT POST ANY LINKS.

And in two posts in this thread I asked people to stop linking.

If Lara is truly interested in looking over anyone's web site for any reason, she can message you and ask you for a link. Since she is not asking for links and links are forbidden by the rules anyway, there is no reason to be posting links.

I'm not sure why this isn't clear and why any misinterpretation should be happening.

NOTICE: The poster is seeking advice for how to set up a web site. No one is asking to look at your web sites and we do have a no link rule. I have had to remove several posts from this thread of people thinking this is an invitation to draw attention to their web sites. If it continues, I'll close the thread. Thanks.

Jude wrote: "My website is....

Yeah, hi. We still have not gotten rid of the no links rule. I've only mentioned this twice in this thread.

P.D. Workman (Pamela) wrote: "While a lot of book descriptions do this, it may result in a warning email from Amazon, such as this one that I got:

Error Category: Other; Kindle Location: 2; Comments: Hello, The product description on your book's detail page contains promotional and advertising information.Example:"Fans of XXX and YYY will love ZZZ." We do not allow information of this nature in product descriptions. "

Really? I didn't know that. Good to know. I never cared for people telling me I'd like their book if I like this or that other book.

Sylvia wrote: "Dwayne commented above about your books having almost 400 reviews... but I checked on both Amazon and Goodreads, and I'm not seeing more than 150 total ratings and reviews. This is puzzling..."

It's called making a mistake. It happens to some humans. Sort of like spelling Amazon with two n's. Right?

Wolfy wrote: "Yeah, I am not sure about Literary Fiction (I believe it is more about characters and conflicts they deal with on the inside?)..."

That's one way to go. I read a lot of literary fiction and it's what I enjoy writing the best. Often times it is not plot heavy, but more about theme or the inner workings of the characters.

Michael wrote: "Such is the conundrum. Yes, I am excited about it. The ending is a bit... rough. So if I tell too much about how things end up, then so much for the ending.

I hate making blurbs."

Blurbs are tough little boogers.

And I hear ya. Literary fiction is my main genre and the blurbs are especially tricky. The best stuff in the book is buried deep, but the blurb must focus on the beginning. I generally look at the first 1/4 of the book and ask myself, "What's the most interesting aspect of this part of the book?" Never mind that it's probably the least interesting part of the book. So, that's a place to start. Also, think about your main character(s) and what you think might draw people to them.

Thank you, Wolfy. I keep coming back and wondering if I'm missing something.

Michael, for Literary Fiction, you're going to need more. You need something for a reader to really bite into. Show us there is some depth to the book. This reads like, "I met a girl. I lost a girl. Ho hum. Such is life." I want to make a connection to the character, but this gives me nothing to grab.

I guess all I have for starters are some questions: Why do you call this "Literary Fiction"? Are you not excited about your book? I'm not feeling any excitement from this.

Michael wrote: "Here's the link I'm not supposed to post:"

That and your bookwhack got your post deleted.

Yes. Proper nouns are always capitalized, unless there's a specific reason not to (ie, the king in your story is allergic to capital letters).

Jane Friedman says a blurb must:

It needs to quickly summarize or hint at what your story or topic is about in a way that tantalizes.

Yours rambles and is in serious need of tightening.

It needs to define the genre and subgenre (even though it’s assumed the shopper has already picked the genre as part of her search, that’s not always the case).

You did pretty good at this one.

It needs to sound and look similar to the bestselling books in your genre.

Here's the entire blurb for "Ready Player One": In the year 2045, reality is an ugly place. The only time teenage Wade Watts really feels alive is when he's jacked into the virtual utopia known as the OASIS. Wade's devoted his life to studying the puzzles hidden within this world's digital confines—puzzles that are based on their creator's obsession with the pop culture of decades past and that promise massive power and fortune to whoever can unlock them.

But when Wade stumbles upon the first clue, he finds himself beset by players willing to kill to take this ultimate prize. The race is on, and if Wade's going to survive, he'll have to win—and confront the real world he's always been so desperate to escape. (119 words - and notice how it gets to the point and draws you in. This is what a good blurb looks like.)

It needs to integrate the main keyword phrases you’ve chosen that you believe potential readers will type into the Kindle search bar.

Yours does that, but there's a lot of superfluousness to it, too.

It needs to be riveting and hook your customers, just as your book’s opening page should hook them.

I often say the main purpose for a blurb is to get someone to turn to the front page. Yours is long and exhausting and is likely to turn people away. Find a hook.

She does suggest using up the 4,000 character allotment with reviews and she suggests putting a list of Amazon keywords at the end of the description. She also suggests hitting up your friends to get some reviews, which I strongly disagree with.

What do you think?

I've only glanced at it and my eyes are already glazed. It's freakin' long! This is meant to be a blurb? Okay...

In the near future, an untested secret agent teams up with a reckless underdog to compete against the crazed villain in a dangerous televised spectacle.

Okay...

There's a deranged artificial intelligence, a budding romance, and an evil plan that must be stopped! What could go wrong?

Wow. Lots of vague stuff being tossed about.

The Games of Life are a risky set of contests performed while riding nanotech jetbikes through a cityscape with a virtual reality overlay. The players receive a MindLink that connects their minds to the game engine, each other, and the viewing audience — all at a sensory and emotional level.

This might be the better place to start the blurb. The stuff above is nonsense to anyone not already familiar with your book.

If you die in the games then you die in real life. Wait, what? The games ARE real in life! The virtual reality is a cool overlay!

I'm getting lost.

Enough of that…

Enough of... what?

Mod is a CoolHunter who is always on the prowl for the next cool thing she can feature on her feed — her online content channel.

The second decent paragraph. This says something.

She's built a big audience, to the point that the largest syndicate in town is determined to take her down.

Okay.

Mod is recruited into the games to play on the DISRUPT Academy team, where she competes against the team sponsored by her nemesis.

A lot of stuff crowded in. I need something concrete.

During the games, Mod uncovers the villain's evil plan to... well, you know how this goes. You have to read the story to find out!

No. Don't tell me to read your story. Pique my interest. Whet my whistle. Telling me to read it is a huge turn off.

Time is running out while Mod tries to stop the evil plan, recover from her past, and maybe build a new life with this guy from the Academy.

What time is running out? What past? What guy? What?

Can she do all that and end up happily ever after? Find out!

Ugh. Again, I need to have an idea how this is beginning before I care about the end. All I really get so far is someone named Mod is playing a game where you can die and there's some evil stuff going on.

If you enjoy books like Ready Player One by Ernest Cline, and books like Warcross by Marie Lu, then you will enjoy the Agents of DISRUPT novels.

No. I don't want to hear about other books. I want to get interested in yours.

Futuristic adventures that are more post-cyberpunk than cyberpunk, the Agents of DISRUPT novels combine virtual reality with real life thrills in a set of humorous and fun action-adventures that are a blend of LitRPG and speculative science fiction. The thrills are perilous and exciting, but with a tongue-in-cheek attitude that stays light-hearted and fun all the way to the end.

*shrug* Don't promise a good story. Show us what you got.

Each novel is a complete stand-alone story that shares some background characters in the same story-world.

Yep.

Don't you want to know what the future brings? The Agents of DISRUPT visionary fiction technothrillers are a sneak peek!

Not really. I'm just interested in reading a good book. Do you have any to recommend?

Go there now!

You have to convince me, first.

Author's notes:

I believe that a thrilling ride to a triumphant ending is the most enjoyable type of story to read. We don’t usually get such a triumph in our real lives, so why not have it in our fiction? That's why I'm writing these stories — to share a good time. To get the most vivid picture in your mind’s eye, try to imagine the story in the style of your favorite animated movie or animation style. I like Pixar!

I have no idea why you would include this in a blurb. It's kind of annoying to be told, "You have to pretend you're watching a cartoon while you read my book." No, I'd rather let my imagination work the way it wants to work.

Thank you for considering this story. I think you will have fun!

Tom Wood

This is cute, but totally unnecessary.

Novels in the Agents of DISRUPT universe:

Published:
1 Ultra Mod

Coming soon:
Nano Tek
Mutant Jean
Robot Will
Multi Saga
Memory Lane
Ego Veto
Dark Matt
Anti Grav
Inner Sage

I'll be frank... if you have not even published your first book, no one is going to care about your future books. Focus on this one. Try to sell this one. Especially since, wow, that's a lot of books. It could be many years before you get all those done.

Generic logline: The Agents of DISRUPT are a secret band of tricksters who send out a foolhardy novice to help the reckless hero in a fight against the fabulist villain. After many misadventures, the hero and novice must try to pull together to defeat the villain, save the world, and have a chance at living happily ever after.

And here we end on something that might work as a blurb.

Tom. I can tell you're excited about your book series. That's great. But, you're really all over the place in this blurb. It lacks focus and is way, way too long. Roughly one hundred to one hundred fifty words will do. Focus on the main character, the theme, the main plot, etc. Don't beg people to read it. Don't go on about other books like it. Don't go into promises for books you haven't yet written. Sell this one. Delve into it and find the one thing you think will really pique someone's interest. That is your keystone for a good blurb.

I agree with Erica. They're pretty static. Could you, maybe, make the little men on the sky scooter thingies a bit bigger? Maybe make them the focus of the cover? That, to me, says "sci fi adventure" more than the four larger men.

It's not terrible, but if I hadn't looked at your genre, I would not have been able to guess. I might assume it's a humorous guide to the men's room.

Could be, I suppose.

I suggested some of you might be happier if you eased up on expecting your family to support your writing when they clearly are not interested. Take the advice or leave it. Not sure why this topic is getting people so grouchy and defensive.

I think you made a good choice, Jill. If you're done taking suggestions, would you like me to close this thread for you?