mrbooks’s Comments (group member since Mar 19, 2014)

mrbooks’s comments from the Net Work Book Club group.

Now that was a low blow. but good...

a very old one but true none the less

A newly wed couple just getting back from there honeymoon. The husband decided it is time for him to show his wife who wears the trousers in the family.

He removes his trousers and tosses them to his new wife and said put them on. Those won't fit me, put them on. His wife does as he asks and puts on his trousers does them up and lets go. The trousers fall to the floor.

He says to her this was an object lesson to show you who wears the trousers in this family.

His wife not saying anything slowly removes her Knickers and throws them to him, Put them on, there is no way they will fit me. Put them on. He try's and try's but eventually gives up and says I can't get into them.

His wife say and you never will...

OK, here are some really old and really lame ones for you

What do you call a man with no legs and arms ? Mat

What do you call a man with no legs and arms in a pile of leaves ? Russell

they do have there hang up's

Yes they were for being deep fried shaped bread crumbs. The sad thing is on of the local chicken places where I live has a tendency to accidently deep fat fry rats... I don't eat there any more.

Dam, that's what the message said, I thought it said tart dress, I wore a mini skit and halter top...

If your daughter wants to see Jurassic world save your pennies, come to my house and she can see a real dinosaur OK, bad joke but I can remember the original Jurassic park when it came out. My son had nightmares for weeks saying a valocarapter, SP. was trying to get in his window. It was funny as he didn't have a window in his room...

OK, I have to do this one, three women are lost in the woods, they come across some track. The red head says, those are rabbit tracks, The brunette says no your wrong they are deer tracks. The blonde standing in the middle of the tracks say you are both wrong it's Bear tracks just before she was hit by a train.

Sorry I know it is lame.

HRHDogMatix [True] King of the month wrote: "We have to thank Pam Ayres for this one

50 shades of grey

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;

I nearly wet my self it is so reminiscent of Benny Hill.

Oh ok, a female version of Bruce Lee. Most guys my age wanted to be like him. Well I know I did. LOL I know I a silly old man.

Not sure I have ever heard of that movie.

This Jive @#$ turkey can dig it, I missed that era by just a year or two and the next great slang era by a year or two I got stuck in the middle, where I was to young for one and then to old to use the next set. What I miss is the military exclusive of talking in acronyms. We had things Like WABA or OFO plus many others.

or is it Black Adder, Black Adder, Black Adder.

I'm sorry, you are right, I am getting my serial killer mixed up He was the Night Stalker, you are right he has never been Identified.

Hmm, I think I remember that, His name was Richard Ramirez wasn't it ?

Nope, I work on base, in the Exchange, the main store for shopping. I work in the warehouse receiving the merchandise when it comes in. They don't trust me around customers, being a sarcastic retired military member is not what you necessarily want dealing with your customers.

Ooh Ori does the Dis. my question is how do they dis-incorporate something. I like on the other hand. I didn't realize how often I used it until someone told me not to say it as it drives them nuts. On the other hand he is working in the right place for being nuts.

The one that get's me is when people read a book and say it was fantastic and I look for it and find it is a comic, not a real book. Someone please tell these people pictures aren't books. A book to me is something that has more words then pictures. In my case all words no pictures. My imagination is good enough to supply the pictures as I read. Don't get me wrong I do like looking through comic's but that is on the very rare occasion.

Oops my bad, my age is showing LOL.