Julian Froment's Blog, page 13
July 21, 2015
Once Upon a Time
There once was a time,
Nothing made sense,
No reason or rhyme,
A life of pretence.
I was always alone,
In miserable solitude,
Love unknown,
A different longitude.
And then the joy,
Of two as one,
As girl met boy,
’twas a miracle done.
And then I knew,
With all my heart,
All I wanted was you,
And life did start.
Now I know,
You’re my everything,
You fill my heart,
You make it sing.
Joy and happiness,
You bring to me,
All I want,
Is for us to be free.
Together forever,
Never apart,
Eternally united,
One single heart.
July 18, 2015
The Indie author help page questions
Calling all Indie authors! Go on, answer some questions and help each other out.
Originally posted on readful things blog:
For anyone who would like to answer these questions, feel free to copy them and send your responses to readfulthings@gmail.com
For anyone who missed it the other day, Charles Yallowitz and I are starting a help page on both of our sites for indie authors who are new to the publishing arena. Nothing too complex, just asking authors the same set of questions and hoping to get answers from those who write across a broad array of genres. The answers will be posted to the blog once a week and then links to those posts will be put on a page where authors can go and refer back to them. We will also be listing sites that have useful info for authors about marketing and promotion both free and paid.
So if you’d like to take a moment and answer the questions, it would be much appreciated. Only thing we…
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July 17, 2015
Tits and Bobs and perfectly passionate poetry
Some great ideas here.
Originally posted on readful things blog:
Nope, not a typo.
A couple things to cover. First of all, I can’t stop thanking people for all they have done for me since releasing my book last week. Carmen Stefanescu rocked my world this morning with her awesome and unexpected promo on her site, which you can find here. http://shadowspastmystery.blogspot.ro/2015/07/guest-promo-ci-ionia-martin.html?m=1 I hate to admit that I cry, but I did.
Thank you Carmen. Love you.
Also huge thanks to people who left a review on Amazon. I was so excited I nearly peed.
Second, some questions and a few declarations.
I have new respect for all of you indie authors. I have been writing and publishing for years under a couple of different pseudonyms and have always had a publishing house behind me. Even when I put out some previous “indie” novels, I had other people working on promoting and covers and such. I didn’t do it all…
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July 14, 2015
Tuesday – Anything Possible – Ionia Martin
Check out John’s post about Ionia’s latest releases.
Originally posted on Fiction Favorites:
Iona Martin has just published two books and since she is such a good writer I want to take the time to let you know about them.
The first is one that Ionia wrote for authors. She is such and excellent reviewer and writer that it is time for all of us to take advantage of the prompts that she has provided. It is titled The Reluctant Muse and is “a writing prompt and idea book for authors of fiction works. It is intended to offer inspiration when you can’t think of anything to write about and includes photos, exercises and inspirational quotes. It is not a long book and the exercises are simple and designed to only take a few minutes of your time. Hope you enjoy!” I know i want to read it and gain some fresh ideas.
The second book is one that only Ionia could write. Titled
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Everything but the Glittery Hoo-ha~#BookReview: Plundering the Romance Novel, #parody by Ionia Martin
Check out this awesome review of Ionia’s incredible Romance Novel parody, ‘Plundering the Romance Novel’.
Originally posted on Barb Taub:
I was crying. No, really.
I downloaded and read Ionia Martin’s hilarious bodice-ripper spoof, Plundering the Romance Novel (subtitled A Really Awful, Truly Terrible, Very, Very, Bad Romance) and was laughing so hard I was using the sleeve of the sweatshirt my husband had left lying on the couch—again, even though I’ve warned him about it, so it serves him right—to wipe off the tears and snot because I didn’t want to stop long enough to go for tissues.
Now that I’ve finished (and, okay, done some laundry) I just have to tell you about it.
My Review: 5 stars out of 5Once upon a time there was an Omnipotent Narrator. Actually, she was a romance novel reviewer who had just had it up to HERE with all the crap that gets published these days, for god’s sake, she could do better in her sleep and maybe make a…
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July 12, 2015
Fifty Shades of Cray – Exploring the World of BDSM
As you may or may not know, I have an intense interest in BDSM. So imagine my delight when browsing on Amazon, I happened to come across, twist that if you dare, a book by authors Dom & Ina Trix, called ‘Fifty Shades of Cray’. I had been beating myself up, looking for that perfect BDSM title, and there, as if by magic, it appeared before my eyes. It was as if a blindfold had been removed and my vision returned to me. I had spent hours, and it had been like flogging a dead horse.
Now, generally I tend to look at Amazon Marketplace to see if I can get a battered copy, but this was a brand spanking new one. An ebook, on the kindle store. This title was a little different. I could just see myself whipping through that in no time at all. I reached for my wallet and managed to get completely tied up in knots extricating it from its captivity. It felt like I had been handcuffed to my own pants. So eventually I manage to release myself from my bonds and have the offending card in my hand.
I returned to my browser and blow me if the connection hadn’t timed out and I had to start again. This pursuit was dominating a lot of my time. In fact I almost submitted, and gave in. It was torture. But no. This meant too much to me. I had to have it. I would do this. And I did. Despite my restraint, I was now the proud owner of my very own perfect BDSM book.
If you too would like to experiment you can check out my purchase. It is this tasty cookbook filled with Beautiful, Delicious, Shellfish Meals. It is filled to the brim with amazing looking recipes, designed to titillate the appetite and leave you panting in desire for these mouthwatering treats.
In all seriousness this is an awesome book of stunning recipes, all with a slightly different slant to the usual pedestrian instruction provided by most cookbooks. Good, tasteful fun, quite literally. Handy recipes that do not leave you chained to the kitchen, unless of course that is your bent.
I got my copy here at Fifty Shades of Cray at amazon.co.uk but apparently it is available in the Fifty Shades of Cray at amazon.com.
Here is the cover. That is one pretty funky looking Crayfish.
July 11, 2015
Plundering the Romance Novel by Ionia Martin
Plundering the Romance Novel by Ionia MartinDescription from Amazon
A silly, satirical romp into the land of romance novels and pirate adventures, full of romance clichés and humour. This book is a short novella, just over 10k words.
Have you ever wondered what goes on in the minds and hearts of romance novel heroes and heroines? No? Good, because this book won’t be helpful with that at all.
If romance clichés drive you mad and you like Monty Python style humour, this may be the perfect book for you.
From the twisted mind of a sometimes writer and lifelong reader, you are certain to have less brain cells than you started with after reading this book.
Captain Stormy is the typical romance hero/villain archetype. He follows the Romance Hero Handbook to the letter, but he is about to figure out that nothing in his guidebook is going to prepare him for the trials he’s about to face.
Uncooperative heroines, lack of treasure, severely delayed sex scenes, a missing crew and an old man’s butt cheeks later, Stormy has a story to tell you.
Even pirates have bad days.
*contains some mature themes and language
My Review
★★★★★
It is apparently bad form to give a book 6 stars out of 5, so I guess I will just have to go with 5 stars out of 5. I am not happy about it though. It deserves 6. I want to give it 6.
If you like spoofs then you will love this. Ionia Martin, the highly regarded book reviewer, has combined her incredible talent as a writer with her incisive intellect and wit, and experience of a barrel load of romance novels, to produce a book that is a veritable joy to read.
‘I absolutely loved reading this book’, said I. ‘I am an undeniable fan of satire and lampooning, and this had me rolling in the aisles. I mean, really, my sides actually split. No, seriously I am in quite a lot of pain.’
Now it is possible that one may get a little annoyed on occasion, when reading certain romances, by that feeling of deja-vu, that we have heard it all before, or that it is like all of the other books that have gone before in that genre.
Well I tell you what. This one is something a bit different. Sure, it takes all of those romance cliches and plot devices that are the bread and butter of the, oft maligned romance novel, but it turns them on their head. Embracing each and every one of them, the author manages to weave a riveting, fun filled course through the Stormy waters of piratical romance.
The description indicates that this is a silly, satirical romp into the land of romance novels and pirate adventures, full of romance cliches and humour. And so it is.
I happen to think it is a lot more than just that though. I think that if you look a little deeper, then you will see the incredible insight required to create a work with this depth of understanding of the sacred lore of the romance novel.
An absolutely fantastic read that I cannot recommend highly enough. In fact I am going to go read it again, while you zip off to get your own copy.
Now go buy it. Now!
July 10, 2015
Plundering the Romance Novel by Ionia Martin
If you buy this book then you will find yourself rolling around in stitches. An incisive and incredibly funny spoof on the romance genre. An excellent read.
Originally posted on readful things blog:
If you should feel so inclined to purchase
Description: A silly, satirical romp into the land of romance novels and pirate adventures, full of romance clichés and humour. This book is a short novella, just over 10k words.
Have you ever wondered what goes on in the minds and hearts of romance novel heroes and heroines? No? Good, because this book won’t be helpful with that at all.
If romance clichés drive you mad and you like Monty Python style humour, this may be the perfect book for you.
From the twisted mind of a sometimes writer and lifelong reader, you are certain to have less brain cells than you started with after reading this book.
Captain Stormy is the typical romance hero/villain archetype. He follows the Romance Hero Handbook to the letter, but he is about to figure out that nothing in his guidebook is going to prepare him…
View original 44 more words
May 13, 2015
Win a really fun Prize courtesy of Disney!
Checkout this fun book and take part in the giveaway for a chance to win your own copy and some other fun stuff
Originally posted on readful things blog:
Note: All samples and prizes provided through Disney Publishing
Please read to the bottom for how to enter to win a prize pack:)
Gabby Duran and the Unsittables
About the Book:
Case File: The First Unsittable
Summary: The Association Linking Intergalatics and Earthlings (hereby known as A.L.I.E.N.) has a new member. After months of investigation, Gabby Duran, Associate 4118-25125A, has proven herself to be a babysitter extraordinaire. Her celebrity clients fly her around the country to care for their rambunctious little humans. Our spy, Associate 4118-23432B, otherwise known as Edwina, believes Gabby can be trusted with the truth: aliens are living among humans on Earth. And here at A.L.I.E.N we believe that even extraterrestrials need a babysitter now and then. No one was up to the task…until now.
After accepting the top-secret position, Edwina has paired our new associate up with her first charge, a little girl from the planet…
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April 9, 2015
LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE: SLEEPER OF THE WILDWOOD FUGUE
SLEEPER OF THE WILDWOOD FUGUE
LIVE on Amazon Kindle!
Art by Jason Pedersen
The final champion stirs and reaches out to any who can hear her voice. Yet all who heed her call will disappear into the misty fugue.
Awakening their new ally is only the beginning as Luke, Nyx, and their friends head south to the desert city of Bor���daruk. Hunting for another temple once used to seal Baron Kernaghan, they are unaware that the game of destiny has changed. Out for blood and pain, Stephen is determined to make Luke wish he���d never set out to become a hero.
By the time the sun sets on Bor���daruk, minds will be shattered and the champions��� lives will be changed forever.
Don’t forget to mark it as ‘To Read’ on Goodreads too!
Charles E. Yallowitz
About the Author:
Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.
Blog: Legends of Windemere
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com
Read the Previous Volumes of Legends of Windemere!!!
