Alicia M. Rodriguez's Blog, page 9

5 Things to Start Your Day Peacefully and Positively

If your day starts with you running around, without focus or feeling lethargic and uninspired, this post is definitely for you.

There are a few very simple things you can do to set the tone for a positive and productive day. It's a matter of self awareness and consistency. 

5 Simple things that you can start today.

1. Get Enough Sleep - You'd think this would be obvious. The National Sleep Foundation conducted a study and found that 90% of those with healthy sleep habits reported feeling very effective at getting things done compared to 46% who did not sleep well.  They also found that only 10% of American adults prioritize their sleep.

Everyone needs sleep but at different ages we require different amounts. Click here to see how much sleep you may need.

2. Cook and Eat a Good Breakfast - So many of you run out the door, grabbing a cup of coffee on the way out or a yogurt or protein bar. Having breakfast is more than food. It's self-care, a time to prepare your food consciously in a way that sustains you. Sitting WITH yourself, or sharing breakfast with your spouse or family is a way to begin your day nourished not only in body but also emotionally.  Breaking bread with those around you helps you begin your day serving others and feeling confident and positive.

3. Protect Your Mind - Ok, confess. Do you reach for your phone the very first thing in the morning, even before hugging your partner or wishing your family a good morning? Whether you live with others or alone, is that the way you want to start your day, filling up your mind with noise?

I was one of those people who did this too. Now I don't reach for the phone. I reach for a yoga strap and deliciously stretch out my body while I'm still in bed. I'm quiet for a while before rising - or at least until my dogs get restless and hungry.  I refuse to turn on any news instead preferring the stillness of the morning and the sounds of nature outside.

This has helped me begin my day ON MY TERMS, peacefully enjoying my breakfast on the balcony looking out to the ocean. This is a much better view than the screen on my phone!

How helpful is it to ingest negativity and worry (news) at the beginning of your day before you are ready even to connect to yourself?  Like food, your body and mind are either nourished or compromised by what you allow in.

This is a conscious choice for self-care.

Once you've centered yourself, eaten breakfast and mindfully washed the dishes, you can start your day. For me this practice has made a significant difference in my outlook, attitude and energy level. It will for you too I'm sure.

4. Move - It doesn't matter whether you spend 10 minutes stretching, practice yoga for 30 minutes or take an hour long run, just move your body. There are so many benefits to exercise that I can't go into all of them here. But moving, whether it's exercise or simply moving your body, allows you to enter into the day with less tension and more grace. 

If you think you don't have an hour to exercise, a simple 15 minute stretch will still make a difference and it's something anyone can do.

5. Share The Love - Hug someone. You may think this is silly but hugging your spouse, friend, dog, cat or anyone is an expression of love, kindness and gratitude and it's the best way I know to start the day. Remember, that hug comes right back to you filling your soul with goodness and love.

Try these this week and let me know how it changes your day, your week, even your life.

Small steps can bring big results.

If you're committed to Conscious Living then I invite you to join my online course Mastering Conscious Living - 10 Lessons To Creating Purpose, Passion and Peace In Your Life where you'll learn more practices to wake you up in life and work and build confidence and resiliency. The course includes online real-time coaching with me and a complimentary ebook for you to download.

I created Mastering Conscious Living so that you could make more healthy choices in your life that are simple and easy to incorporate no matter how busy you are.

 

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Mindfulness In All The Right Places

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh

I remembered this quote as I was making home made soup today.

It’s a drizzly, dark and cool day. I don’t mind these days.

These are days when the absence of activity brings me closer to my inner voice. 

These are days when doing the simplest tasks are openings for a deeper conversation with myself, revealing what has been hidden behind busyness and doing and caring for everyone and everything but me.

Folding sheets becomes a meditation. Planting new herbs becomes a sacred practice. Making soup…becomes an epiphany.

These activities may seem ordinary, but they flow with a higher quality of attention that brings me presence, peace and serenity. These are the simple things that keep me centered, relaxing into the flow of the day.

There’s nothing earth shattering about cooking or cleaning or gardening or running or kayaking. Yet all of these make the rest of my world fall away as I focus on what I’m doing in that moment. 

There is only that moment.

I’m not thinking of my to-do list or tomorrow’s groceries or projects due.  I’m simply completely involved with that activity.

My brain is working but it’s resting too. My body is moving yet there is stillness even as my energy flows to the movement that is appropriate to what I’m doing. These simple tasks remind me of tai chi – when you’re still and moving at the same time.

You may think of mindfulness as meditation or yoga or some traditional practice but I’d like to suggest that mindfulness is essentially paying attention – to your inner and outer world – in such a way that everything superfluous to the moment falls away.

Essentially, mindfulness is being completely present to what is.

No matter what you’re doing or the perceived value of that, you create meaning in every moment if you are mindful and present. Life is as the saying goes:

“Before Enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood, carry water."

 

Photo by Fineas Gavre on Unsplash

The 10 Phases of Life Transitions

The 10 Phases of Life Transitions

It begins with an inkling, a soft whisper, a gentle nudge...

Something is calling you to something more but you're not sure what that is or maybe you know but you're not sure how to get started.

This is the first sign that change is coming. Whether you're ready or not, whether you're fully conscious of it or not, you've stepped again into the flowing river of life and nothing is the same as before.

You are on the cusp of a transition.

Transitions are invitations to grow and evolve.

It takes a while to even notice when you are in transition. The signs are subtle at first.

Maybe there’s impatience with someone or something in your life?

It could be that you begin to feel an undefined uneasiness.

Sometimes a sense of dissatisfaction with your work or life creates a sense of confusion because on the surface, everything seems the same.

But it’s not.

Something inside you is moving, calling you to make a change.

Change seems scary but indeed what makes it so uncomfortable isn’t the change.

It’s the resistance to change that causes discomfort. (#aliciaisms)

* * * * *

The 10 Phases of Life Transitions ...and what to do in each phase.

If you are experiencing a sense of change or transition then use these eight steps to consciously move through the transition with grace and ease. Get support to help you understand what is really happening in your life.

1. Unease: You experience a subtle discomfort with what is happening in your life.

Action: This is what I call the "inkling". Write it down. See if you can name what you are thinking and feeling and what triggers this discomfort. Don't push it away. Engage the feeling. Even have a conversation with the feeling asking it to reveal more.

2. Symptoms: You begin to respond with sadness, anxiety or impatience at little things.

Action: Notice what triggers this impatience. What is not working in your life? What do you want to improve or release. Be honest with yourself. If it helps ask someone close to you to notice and reflect back to you when you appear impatient, abrupt or dissatisfied with someone or something.

3. Wondering: You begin to ask “what if” questions and notice others who may be leading a life that you would like to emulate.

Action: Engage possibilities. You may not yet know what you want but you can experiment with possibilities that resonate with you and attract your attention. Try new activities, go different places, engage unlikely people in conversation. Doing things differently help you discern what resonates and doesn't resonate with you at this time.

4. Fear: At this point you feel that making a change is a risk and fear and doubt kick in.

Action: Replace fear of the unknown to viewing the unknown as a place of emergence and creativity. This moves you into the generative field. This comfort with being uncomfortable allows you to be more creative and to broaden your view of things. Use the “backdoor” to move through the fear and calm the mind – enlist imagination, art, music, and poetry to evoke inspiration, courage and ideas. These backdoor approaches bypass the mental models and limiting beliefs you may hold that keep you from seeing options that would work for you at this moment in your life.

5. Act: Make a decisive act that will move you forward.

Action: Take one step forward. To determine that step ask yourself which options move you backwards, keep you stuck or move you forward. No need to make THE decision, just make A decision to move forward. Right now there is less at stake than what your mind is telling you. 

6. Plan: Start planning your transition.

Action: Get a thinking partner or coach for support and to gain clarity quickly. Transitions are difficult to do alone. A coach can help you quickly envision your future and create a plan for getting there. Coaches can see what you cannot. They can offer possibilities you would never have thought of or considered. And when self doubt creeps in, as it does, a coach will support you reminding you of what matters to you now.

7. Move: Put one foot in front of the other.

Action: Each and every day do at least one thing that gets you closer to your envisioned future. You don't have to take huge steps. What matters now is that you do something consistently to keep a focus on moving from where you've been to where you are going. Each day evaluate what worked, what didn't work, what felt right and what didn't feel right. This is how you create your path forward. Use your intuition and your feelings, not just your mind. Your intuition is the truth even in the face of your fears and doubts.

8. Assess: Reflect on your choices and options.

Action: It's vital that you reflect on what occurred from making different choices and experimenting with new ways of being. What were your thoughts about this? How did you feel? What emotions came up? Did it feel right or wrong? Did your body experience tension or lightness? Ask yourself these questions consistently to check in on the decisions you are making during your transition.

9. Adjust: Adapt and change course as needed.

Action: There are very few life and death decisions. Any choice you make can be changed. Remember this. You will experiment with new things and notice that although you thought this was right for you, actually it isn't. Own that and adjust. Learn from each decision and choice and take that learning to hone your path forward.

10. Celebrate: Acknowledge the journey.

Action: By following these 10 phases you'll reach a new destination in your life. Identify what worked for you during this transition. What did you learn about yourself and the process? You will go through many transitions in your life. Learn from each one and the next one will be easier to engage. 

* * * *

Transitions are not surgery. You are not cutting something out of your life. You are using all that has been and transforming it into energy to create a new future.

People typically feel sad or loss during transitions because they experience transitions as loss. Reframe this thought and consider that nothing really is lost. You will make decisions aligned to what matters to you now, which may be different than before. You will move toward or away from activities, things and relationships in order to be MORE YOU, expanding your presence. As you discern what to continue and what to stop, you gather more energy for the generative process of creating something new. That is ultimately what transitions are about.

Transitions transform something that exists into something that wants to exist, to be expressed or created.

What phase are you in?

Engage the actions here to move gracefully through your transition.

Do not sacrifice who you are meant to be for the comfort of who you are today. #aliciaisms Tweet this!

Are you going through a life transition?

If this sounds like you, if you feel you are on the cusp of a transition or if you have been thrust into a significant change in your life, then schedule a complimentary call with me. Let's talk about how I can assist you through this time in your life.

Let's Chat

 

Photo by Jake Melara on Unsplash

21 Lines That Can Change Your Life

What would you do if you were BOLD enough?

What possibility living in you scares the heck out of you?

What is the radical shift that would really alter your life for the better?

It does not have to be obvious.

It does not have to be loud.

It does not have to make sense to anyone or everyone.

It may be a shift to do one thing differently each day.

It may be the conversation you always wanted or needed to have with your mother, father, sister, brother, lover, friend, boss, fill in the blank.

It may be the trip you always wanted to take but always found an excuse not to.

It may be the forgiveness you’ve been denying yourself or someone else.

It may be the thing you always wanted to learn and kept setting aside for a better time.

What is in you that is undeniable?

What is it that demands to be heard?

What do you long for?

How much longer will you wait?

What would you do if you were bold enough?

Do it.

Do it because you ARE bold enough.

Do it because you can’t not do it.

Decide.

Begin it now.

A Kitchen Meditation

Photo by Oluwakemi Solaja on Unsplash

I’m sharing the results of my “kitchen meditation”.  Pretty much a whole day thinking through what I wanted to make, getting the ingredients together, mixing, tasting, experimenting, all while listening to some pretty good tunes with some dancing thrown in too.

Curry empanadas

And you might be thinking this is a food post.  It’s not.

It’s about meditation.WHAT ABOUT MEDITATION?

The other day I was with a group of people and I mentioned that it was hard for me to slow down because I had so much energy. One person commented, “That from a life coach.”

At the time I didn’t think much of it but those words kept echoing back to me. I didn’t know why until my kitchen meditation.

Common thinking is that slowing down and sitting in meditation is what true meditation is about.  It could be and it is for many.

And there’s something else…

There are many of us – many of my clients included – who find it difficult to be still. We’re the kids that were always doodling, daydreaming and fidgeting in the classroom.

For this kind of person, what appears as stillness is interpreted as lack of movement. Not moving feels…kinda like death.

For us it’s different.

We may be more connected to a deeper flow of life which is constant, always moving. Like a river, on the surface it may appear still.  But the currents underneath are always flowing.

Our meditation has to do with re-aligning to those currents underneath. 

Our definition of stillness is “stillness becoming alive.” This is a process of re-alignment that others find in being physically still.

I don’t need to stop moving to be still – inside.  Many people don’t and they will often say they can’t meditate. But they can. Just not in the same way.

BEING PRESENT

Have you ever watched a great musician play?  Look beyond what you see him doing. Watch how he isn’t actually playing the music. He interacts with it. He joins with it. He becomes it.

There is mastery here…and presence…and stillness.

The artist is in the flow of the universal movement and the music is the conduit to that. Music is happening, he may be moving his hands, but inside, he is still - and in the flow of the universal movement at exactly the same moment.

Yes, this is a paradox.  Being still and moving at the same time.

That paradox resolves by being fully present in that moment.

Some achieve this kind of presence through yoga, tai chi, or meditation using their breath to connect to the flow.

But not everyone.

Photo by Marko Blažević on Unsplash

BLISS HAPPENS

I remember discovering this paradox while kayaking on the Chesapeake Bay. The waves were soft, rocking the kayak back and forth. I adjusted my paddling to harmonize with the waves.

And then I closed my eyes.

Bliss happened.

It was a feeling of complete oneness with the water, with the wind, with the sky.

My body rocked with the waves, perfectly balanced and open to receiving the movement from the water. My breath caught the rhythm that was present in the air and water.

I have no recollection of how long I was on the water like this.

I felt only peace and joy and an expansiveness difficult to describe.

This was my meditation.

And I was still – and moving.

STILLNESS BECOMING ALIVE

There is an exquisite point in time where stillness becomes alive. When you join with the present moment and immerse yourself in something that brings you closer to your heart, to your joy, to your soul.

That kind of stillness generates energy.

It's not grand. It's in the simple, ordinary things. Like cooking. Or kayaking.

You feel it. And afterwards you are more present to your life, more joyful. More conscious of your inner world.

You are more alive.

WHAT’S YOUR KITCHEN MEDITATION?

Maybe you lose yourself in the kitchen, using your senses to flavor the food you carefully chose, seeking just the right presentation to do justice to your creation.

Maybe you’re an artist and your canvas and paintbrush are the elements that bring you into a profound sense of being.

Maybe you’re the musician laying down the tracks that come to you in dreams and imaginings until the notes are just right.

Maybe you’re the athlete that finds herself running into the flow of the universal movement until the world falls away and you’re still in your mind and heart as your body moves through space and time.

Everyone has a way of connecting to that present moment, to that stillness we hunger for in our crazy, noisy world so that we can remember who we really are and what truly matters.

You can be still and still moving.

Do more of that.

Your happiness will increase, your stress will diminish, and you’ll find the kind of peace that generates positive energy in the world.

Don't know what your "kitchen meditation" is?  Download this FREE list: 59 Ways To Quiet Your Mind and find yours. FREE DOWNLOAD HERE
 

The Only Way To Solve Our Crisis of Consciousness

Unsplash Dawid Zawila

You act according to your own level of consciousness.

Therefore, the most significant thing you can do in your life is to focus on developing your consciousness.  To become more aware, more open. To study the spiritual texts, to evolve.

If each of us were to focus on our own personal evolution there would be no war, no greed, no resentment. 

If each of us would raise our level of consciousness, we would behave differently.

We would act in ways to support each other and our communities. 

We would understand the value of peace, inner peace and global peace.

We would understand the importance of being in right relation with the planet.

We would understand the value of reflection and appreciate the spark of creativity and the power of diversity.

We would recognize our inherent connection to all things.

Kindness and compassion would walk hand in hand with courage and strength.

The illusion of separateness would dissipate leaving only the power to act from love.

Want to know how to change the world?

Focus on your own personal evolution and THAT is how you take care of the world.

10 Practices to Rediscover Your True Nature

Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it. you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.  ~ Howard Thurman, author, philosopher and civil rights leader

From an early age you are guided to conform.  You are taught the cultural and social norms of your environment, your family, your country or community. You are taught right from wrong. You are introduced to school, church, laws and everything that makes up our society.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with this.  In order to survive, you need to know the rules of the game of life.  To function within any society is to conform to its values and norms.

But what happens to those creative souls that don’t “fit in”?  What happens to the outliers, the rebels, the crazy ones that march to a completely different tune?

If they’re children, they are often medicated with the premise that they are unruly, distracting and ADHD.

If they’re adolescents, they are often bullied, ostracized and left out of the social systems that create a sense of belonging.

If they’re adults, they may be diagnosed with mental illness; they may become lonely and removed or they may become so adept at adapting that they become invisible.

Within every disruptive behavior is a nugget of brilliance.

The challenge is to find that nugget early and to guide it to a positive outcome, not to squash it in the interest of conformity.  The most creative individuals had someone who mentored, advocated or recognized in them this nugget of brilliance and helped shape it into an original masterpiece.

The Joy of Being Real

Can you recall a time in your childhood when you were absolutely happy?  When you were doing something that brought so much joy that you wanted to burst?  Maybe it was a bit later when you could access a deep peace within yourself even in the middle of the chaos of life? What were you doing?

For me it was reading and writing. I was very shy and had difficulty relating to a culture where I looked and felt different than others. I found my escape in books. Through them I would travel the world, have daring adventures. I would then return to my writing notebook to translate these into the imaginings of a girl who landed on earth and wrote to make sense of the world she lived in.

I never did feel like I fit in although I certainly learned to adapt, like a chameleon, to blend in well enough not to be discovered as the frightened alien creature I felt myself to be.

I was the one hiding in plain sight.Finding Your Way Back to Your Self

How can you recover your true nature while being present to the reality of your life?

That’s the BIG question, right?

Maybe you can’t take six months off to live in an ashram in India or quit your job to travel the world?

Maybe you have a family to take care of or a job that you love but you still long for something else, something you can’t yet define, but its urgency is growing as time passes?

"The greatest fear in the world is of the opinion of others.  The moment you are no longer afraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion.  A great roar arises in your heart.  That roar is freedom."~ Osho

What would you do if you did not fear the opinion of others?

What does inner freedom look like, feel like, for you?

Everyone is different.

What feels like freedom to one person is fear to another.

There are practices you can incorporate right now, today, in the life you are living at this moment, that will open up your heart to the longing you are experiencing and help create the fullest expression of your true nature.

These are really simple things you can do now.  They are not big leaps into the void. (Way too scary for most people.)

Let’s start here…

1.     Stop comparing yourself to others.  It’s frustrating, demotivating and resentment-building. You and everyone around you is unique with their own set of circumstances and challenges you know nothing about.  Their Instagram may be rocking world adventures and high fashion but that’s not the truth of who they are. Focus on yourself and what brings you the most joy.

2.     Spend time getting to know yourself.  When you meet someone that you are attracted to what’s something you’re likely to do? You’d ask them out, invite them for coffee or dinner or share time with them so you can get to know one another. 

Well, it’s time you became reacquainted with YOU.  Build in quiet time into your day. Have yourself over for tea. Become the observer of your life. Notice what makes you smile, what makes you sad. Notice what pulls on your heart or what brings out the fierce in you.

3.     Stop judging yourself.  We suffer from the “not enough” syndrome. Not good enough, thin enough, smart enough, rich enough, successful enough, on and on.  For Pete’s sake, get over it. You are enough!  When you don’t embrace your “enoughness” you forfeit your power to others. Stop that.

4.     Spend time with (not by) yourself. Great philosophers, artists and creators of all kinds have valued solitude as part of their creative process. One example is Henry David Thoreau, the 19th century writer, transcendentalist and early environmentalist who espoused simple living in natural surroundings.  He wrote in Walden:

“I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in the company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never found the companion that was so companiable as solitude.”~ Henry David Thoreau

5.     Spend time in nature.  Most of our days are lived in artificial surroundings. We work in concrete buildings with little natural air or light. We eat food that has been modified and preserved. We take pills to relieve our anxiety.

Get back to what is natural. Walk in the woods intentionally; listen to breeze in the trees and the songs of the birds, feel the dirt under your feet, touch the bark of the trees, do these things as communion with the natural world to which you too belong, but may have forgotten.

6.     Practice mindfulness.  Mindfulness means many things to many people. Common practices include meditation, mindful walking, walking a labyrinth, chanting, yoga and more.

I define mindfulness as any activity where I am fully present to myself without judgement.

I could be in my kayak paddling in the bay or dancing by myself to music or cooking a meal, even vacuuming allows me to experience mindfulness.

“Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.” ~ Wu Li, Zen teaching

7.     Shut down your computer (and social media). As our technology grows to connect us worldwide we grow even more disconnected from ourselves. We rely on our Facebook profile to define us instead of seeking the deeper connections that conversation and simplicity allow for.  With every beep and ding we allow the world to intrude at will, interrupting a conversation, dinner with our families, even our sleep. Yet you have control over this.

For some time each day, and most certainly at night, shut off your computer, your television, your phone and any technology in your home that removes you from being present to yourself and to those you love. As you reconnect to those you love you’ll start rediscovering your significant relationships anew.

8.     Read poetry, listen to music, tell stories, dance wildly.  We are living from the head up. Our work is mostly intellectual and rational. Schools are eliminating the arts, something so essential to our human expression. They are eliminating recess, a time when children socialize, move their bodies and get out into the fresh air.

Engage your life fully. These activities are not a waste of time. The arts open your heart to a different expression, one that opens the heart and emotions. From there reconnect to your true nature.

“When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop finding comfort in silence?” – The Shaman’s Questions

9.     Challenge your fear. During a difficult time in my life, when I was experiencing a great deal of fear, I decided to learn how to kayak. I had almost drowned twice and although I love the water, I was afraid of drowning. Learning to paddle was a metaphor that allowed me to conquer fear in other areas of my life.

The first time I rolled my kayak and came out calmly, my instructor asked me one of the most exquisite questions I’ve ever encountered. He asked, “How did it feel to come out on your own terms?” Perfect.

10.  Be at service.  Nothing connects you to your true nature like serving someone else. You stop wallowing in your own pity party and start contributing to someone else’s wellbeing and joy. That creates a boomerang effect in that you begin to feel satisfaction, you get out of your own way and experience greater meaning in your life.  You being to notice that we are all connected and important to each other.

A Few Final Thoughts

The only real happiness you can experience occurs when you are living in alignment to what you care about and who you are essentially. How that essence manifests will change over time as you grow and your life evolves. As a child or adolescent you’ll find ways to express yourself that are different than as a mature adult or elder.

The world needs you to be the best version of yourself, allowing that nugget of brilliance that was in your DNA to shine brightly. You are no less or more than anyone else – and you are and always will be enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~Let's work together to get you back on the path to authenticity, joy and meaning. Start with my complimentary Conscious Living Assessment. Very simply, you'll be able to identify what needs to change and why it matters to you. Getting some clarity is the first step.

Send Me The Assessment

5 Tips To Start The New Year Right

RESET: A YEAR OF CONSCIOUS LIVING

January is the time for a reset as we commence a new year. Here are 5 tips I'd like to share with you on how to get started.

1. Glance back to move forward. Take some time to reflect on your experiences, positive and negative, from 2017. What did you learn? How can you use that to move forward in 2018? 

2. No regrets. Did you make mistakes? Yes, sure, we all did. You made decisions and choices that were the best you could do at the time. Let it go. Don't carry that stuff into 2018. It will only weigh you down. 

3. Amplify who you are becoming. Give yourself some credit for your development. Like a pebble in a pond that causes ripples, how will you amplify your influence and your contributions from the past year into new challenges, endeavors and victories in 2018?

4. Life provides the curriculum for your development.  This is one of my Ten Lessons On Being Fierce. Everything that happens is an opportunity to learn more about yourself, to go deeper into upgrading your operating system. Don’t get stuck in the “ain’t it awfuls”; you’re here today. Do something good with that. 

5. To achieve more you have to be more. We are knots of limiting beliefs. Whether conscious or not, we set limitations on ourselves that keep us from reaching our full potential. We think we are incapable of doing extraordinary things – until we have to (see #4). 

If you’re ready to to dream big and commit to making it happen, then you’ve got to have a self image that yes, you are fully capable of doing what you might’ve said was impossible in 2017. Shift your mindset so your thoughts can support your dreams and actions.

See yourself as MORE so you can achieve MORE.

Whether it’s growing your business, evolving your spirituality, being a better human being or taking on a social cause, challenge pre-conceptions of what you believed was possible.

Get support, find your tribe, raise hell.

Now go out there and make some waves!

Two Words To Empower Life in 2018

Photo by Stephen Leonardi on Unsplash

Every New Year a mantra reveals itself to me that serves as a compass for my decisions and actions and that challenges me to go beyond my limitations of ego and mind. The mantra is more than just words.  It’s an invitation to break a hypnosis that quietly runs aspects of my life.  It can be subtle and although it may seem obvious there is always a much deeper, hidden meaning behind the simple words.

Each year that goes by I get closer to the center of my being and become increasingly intolerant of things, relationships, work and habits that only serve to keep me stuck in a kind of suspended animation. I become more aware of the “shoulds” that I have integrated from the others that deny my freedom and authenticity. This year I realized that to protect the essential Self requires a stepping in and stepping up in a very personal way.

It requires me to be fierce in my determination to keep evolving and to take a stand for my own truth.  I have noticed how I have unconsciously traded my power for affirmation even as I have stood firmly for my beliefs in others and in myself. This labyrinth of the mind is finally observable to me and with that awareness I step into a new year of possibilities.

This holding up a mirror to myself is difficult work. Sometimes I don’t like what I see. Sometimes I see how I can project my fears on others and how others project their fears on me. As soon as I allow someone to define me I lose my true self and that means I lose my way. If I do not know myself I will not understand my relation to the rest of the world. If I deny the true relationship with my Self I will not be able to co-create with others from a place of truth and wisdom.

I am fiercely claiming my right to name myself from the inside out, not the outside in. It maintains my personal truth as my compass. I am making a choice about who I am and how I choose to live from my core.

That choice is inner freedom. From there I generate aliveness and energy that is the foundation of any endeavor I undertake.

I want to see my life as the generative flow of the universe that manifests beauty and love. The rest is transactional.

We so often focus on results and outcomes, the concrete elements of our work and lives, and so we create things that hold no inspiration, no life force, no magic. There is work to be done before the work is done.

I know that if I am to keep growing, I have to feed my soul first. I must first remove the distractions that keep me focused on the external mechanics and compromise the internal life-giving dream that is at the source of my work.

I must take long walks in Nature, I must attend to my health and well-being, I must be present and available to share my wisdom and gifts with others.

I must fiercely protect my soul from harm for that is the source of my truth and only when that soul is nourished and my heart is open can I manifest my unique beauty and truth.

I must begin at the point of zero from where my true masterpiece will emerge.

The enemy is fear and I have become intimate with fear so that I can transcend it. I recognize where that fear is within me and explore what inner forces trigger that fear. I name them, look at them and ultimately transcend those forces so they become energy that is generating life, not more fear.

When I surrender my truth to anyone or anything I grant it power over me. If I bow to fear, I lose my way and I am no longer in right relation with myself or with the world.

I am therefore no longer free.

I am at a cusp in my life, a defining moment. I cannot look to anyone or anything for approval or allow projections to taint the spiritual longing I have for my life to be truly an expression of my soul.

There is something so much more to do here that is beyond an end result or outcome. It begins with the internal work I do intentionally before the external work. That internal work is done in silence.

The soul appears speaking in that silence and provides the direction to act in the world. I simply cannot create anything worthwhile from any other place.

As a new year begins I see the true nature of things. This generates the life-giving energy to co-create new things in the world. I am able to serve as a reflection for others to see their own true nature.

Everything depends on my journey to see myself clearly, truthfully and as a larger possibility than my ego has allowed.

Everyone and everything has its essential nature. It is not my role or responsibility to change that but to learn to dance with what is present. This takes courage and a ferocity of spirit. It requires a release from attachment to any rote plans of how things should be done or how people should be.

Fierce presence is needed to co-create beauty and magic.

These encounters occur when the full power and creative force of two or more beings are at play. Since there are no scripts, no instructions, there are also no assurances or guarantees in playing full out. These encounters hold the life-giving force of stars when they meet with their full force exploding into a new nebula of light and energy.

This is what makes life worth living. This is what I wake up for every day. This makes dreams worth fighting for. And this is my declaration for 2018.  To keep looking beyond the obvious, beyond what is seen or felt, for that something that cannot be known.

From this place of the unknown a new truth based on love and creation emerges to create the path I walk. Not love as I have known it but a limitless love, what Rumi called The Beloved, is now opening to me.

My 2018 mantra is simple yet it is the source of my power and my courage. Two words that encompass so much. “Choose Love”.  That is the mantra that was revealed to me.

What will it be for you?

(I invite you to share in the comments and I will reply.)

 

Ten Reasons Why Bad Things Happen To Good People

“We’re all one phone call from our knees.”  ~ Mat Kearney, Closer To Love

All of us have asked ourselves, “Why did such a terrible thing happen?”  We begin to doubt our humanity, we doubt our faith, we doubt everything we thought we knew about fairness, about what’s right and wrong, and even our capacity to continue in the face of terrible events.

As I consider those times when life sent me to my knees I ask myself this question again and walked myself backward to see what I may have missed. Here’s what I discovered about why bad things happen to good people.

1.     Bad things happen to wake you out of your drunken stupor, that unconscious, robotic state you find yourself in on a daily basis where you medicate yourself with alcohol, sex, accolades, drugs, shopping and a host of other addictions.  Your busy life doesn’t lend itself to reflection and a conscious examination of what matters. Suddenly something happens and your world falls apart.

That’s your wake-up call. Loud and clear. Don’t miss it.

2.     Because you suddenly wake up to the realization that everything is NOT how you thought it was, you become crystal clear on what belongs to you and what doesn’t.  That could be the relationship you’re in, the job you hate or the friends who are never there when you need them. You realize they don’t belong in your life and maybe haven’t for some time.

“If my life is for rent and I don’t want to buy, well I deserve nothing more than I get. ‘Cuz nothing I have is truly mine.” ~ Dido. Life for Rent

3.     You realize that this life you have doesn’t belong to you, not really.  It’s a force that is moving like a river, sometimes calm and sometimes turbulent. You cannot control it but you can learn to flow with it.

Bad things happen to teach you how to go with the current without smashing your head on the rocks (most of the time).

4.     Unexpected events point to other forces at work. News Flash: you are not the master of the universe. Something else is going on that is beyond your comprehension. Some call it divine intervention, dharma, karma and destiny.  I’m not sure what it is. What I do know is that something beyond me is at work here that is not obvious, concrete or physical. Best to respect that unknowable force.

5.     Are you living your life in alignment with your values and priorities? When shit happens it gets pretty clear. Suddenly all the energy and time you spend on so many non-essential, non-life-giving things seems like a waste. You focus on what truly matters.  When the World Trade Center towers came down, no one said, “I need to get back to work so I can get that promotion.”  They said, “I need to find my family, hug my kids, tell my wife I love her.” That doesn’t mean a promotion or your career don’t matter. What it means is that it shouldn’t be at the exclusion of other important things in your life.

6.     Clarity is the greatest gift of bad events. It focuses you on what matters and it becomes easier to release what depletes you. Every day matters.  Where are you wasting time and energy? Let go of that.

7.     Bad things happen to show us that you have what you need to be braver, better and more powerful than you imagined you could be.

No one volunteers for trouble and tragedy. It happens.

And when it does, you step up, tapping into that well of courage you didn’t even know existed within you.  You learn that you can handle things you never thought you would be able to handle.

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.” ~ Winnie the Pooh

8.     Bad things show you who your real friends are, who your true family is and who the people are that take from and deplete you.  You discover the truth of your friendships when they can stand beside you in your greatest moment of pain. They will be there for you. The others will watch from the sidelines “sending prayers”.

9.     Bad things force you to question if you are really on your true path or if something has to change for you to bring yourself in alignment with what’s true for you. It may be a shift or a huge recalibration, a new direction or a total rebirth.  You’ll know if you’re courageously present to what’s in front of you.

10.     Bad things teach you to trust yourself, to trust life and to trust God (however you define God). Looking in the rear-view mirror you’ll see how past events made you stronger and you’ll see light even in the darkest moments.

This is how you evolve. This is how you awaken.

None of this is easy or comfortable.  Sometimes it just hurts so much you think you’ll die from the pain. In some ways, you do.

After that comes the rebirth.

You can get to the other side understanding that bad things happen to make you a better, truer, amplified version of yourself. You’ll discover you are more than what you’ve ever been before, more than what you imagined you could be capable of becoming.

You become crystal clear on who you are becoming and what really matters.

And… you’ll eventually go back to sleep again.

And… eventually something will happen to wake you from your stupor…

…again.

“…nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we find the very same problem waiting for us when we arrive. it just keeps returning with new names, forms, manifestations until we learn whatever it has to teach us…”
Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

Why do bad things keep happening?

Because life is a universal movement that moves iteratively, always returning in different forms so you learn the lessons you chose to skip or you haven’t yet fully learned. Those are the lessons you refused to learn because you were afraid or it just wasn’t time for you to engage that particular lesson.

Final lesson: You can transform tragedy into a gift that allows you to rise above, to be more than what you ever thought you were capable of. 

It’s in you. It’s in all of us.

Remember this when bad things happen.

~~~~~~~

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash