Alicia M. Rodriguez's Blog, page 3
January 31, 2025
Trusting the Compass Within
Life has a way of nudging us toward change, doesn’t it? Sometimes, it whispers—like the subtle feeling that something in our routine isn’t quite right. Other times, it roars—a job ends, a relationship shifts, or we find ourselves at a crossroads, unsure of which way to go.
In these moments, intuition becomes our greatest ally. It’s that quiet voice, that knowing deep in our bones, that offers clarity and truth when everything else feels uncertain. Yet, in a world so noisy and fast-paced, it can feel nearly impossible to hear it.
I’ve been there, standing in the murky space of transition. I remember feeling paralyzed by choices, overthinking every scenario, and doubting myself. But when I finally let myself slow down—when I paused the constant thinking and turned inward—I felt something stir. It wasn’t loud or forceful, but it was steady: a soft, inner nudge pointing me in a direction that felt right, even if I couldn’t explain why.
That was my intuition.
Where is your “true north?”
The Quiet CompassI think of intuition as a compass. It doesn’t always give you the full map or explain why you’re being drawn a certain way, but it points you in the direction of your true north. It’s not magic or guesswork; it’s the wisdom we carry within us, shaped by our experiences, our emotions, and even our connection to something greater than ourselves.
When I work with clients during coaching sessions or retreats, intuition often comes up as a theme. They’ll say things like, “I knew I should’ve done this earlier, but I didn’t trust myself,” or “I felt it in my gut, but I was too afraid to act on it.” The truth is, we’ve all felt that inner knowing at some point, yet trusting it can feel like a leap of faith.
Learning to ListenThe first step to trusting your intuition is learning how to hear it. And that requires something many of us struggle to give ourselves: stillness.
When I lead retreats, I encourage participants to create space for their inner voice to emerge. That might mean meditating on a cliffside overlooking the ocean, walking silently through nature, or simply sitting with a journal and letting their thoughts flow onto the page. In those moments, something beautiful happens—they begin to hear themselves again.
One woman shared with me how, during a journaling session, she suddenly realized she had been clinging to a career path that no longer fit her. She’d been ignoring her intuition for years, burying it beneath logic and obligation. But once she allowed herself to pause and listen, the truth became undeniable.
Stillness is the doorway.
When the Universe SpeaksAnd then there’s synchronicity—those magical little moments when life seems to be aligning just for you. Have you ever thought about a friend you haven’t seen in years, only to bump into them the next day? Or stumbled across a book that speaks directly to the question weighing on your heart?
These moments aren’t just coincidences. They’re life’s way of saying, “You’re on the right path. Keep going.” Synchronicity has shown up for me in ways that feel almost too perfect to believe, and every time, it reminds me to trust my inner compass even more.
Trusting the Path ForwardI won’t pretend that following your intuition is always easy. Sometimes it asks you to take risks, make changes, or walk away from something familiar. But every time I’ve trusted that quiet voice, it has led me to a more authentic, aligned life - to a courageous amplification of my life.
So, if you’re standing at a crossroads, wondering which way to go, I invite you to pause. Take a deep breath. Ask yourself: What feels true? What feels light? What would I choose if I trusted myself completely? What might be possible?
The answers are already within you. You just need to create the space to hear them.
If you’re ready to reconnect with your intuition and navigate life’s transitions with clarity and confidence, I’d love to support you. Join me at one of my restorative retreats, where we create the stillness and space you need to hear your inner voice. Or let’s explore how coaching can help you trust your path forward.
CONTACT ME HERE
Buy me a cup of coffee and a pastel de nata. If you enjoyed this post and found it helpful, a cup of coffee is appreciated.
I appreciate you!
January 24, 2025
Releasing the Weight of Guilt
Women are masters of guilt. We feel it constantly—sometimes for things we didn’t even do, as if the happiness and wellbeing of everyone around us rest solely on our shoulders.
Here’s the truth: we have a deep misunderstanding of guilt.
It often becomes a relentless form of self-punishment. We believe it’s our responsibility to make everything okay for everyone else, even at the expense of our own wellbeing.
It’s time to set the record straight. Unless you’re deliberately causing harm—unless your intentions and actions are malicious—there’s no reason to feel guilt.
What many of us label as guilt is actually a decision we’ve made that pulls us away from our essential nature. It’s an overextension of empathy, crossing the line from healthy care to harmful self-sacrifice.
Real guilt only appears when your conscience calls you out for acting outside your values with the intention to harm. That’s it. Guilt demands awareness and alignment with your values. Without that awareness, guilt mutates into shame—the dangerous belief that not only have you done something bad but that you are bad.
Consider these situations:You feel “guilty” for standing up for yourself or prioritizing your needs over others.
You believe it’s your job to make everyone else happy.
You carry the weight of someone else’s unhappiness as if it’s your failure.
You make a mistake, or cannot fulfil a promise then feel terrible for letting someone down.
These aren’t guilt. These are boundaries calling to be set, self-worth waiting to be claimed.
When Guilt is not GuiltWhat we often call guilt may be regret. Regret is a different emotion entirely. Regret arises when we reflect on an action or decision and wish we had chosen differently. It’s rooted in a sense of missed opportunity or a desire for a better outcome, rather than a moral failing. Regret invites learning and growth; guilt often traps us in self-condemnation. While guilt makes you question your worth, regret nudges you toward wisdom and a chance to make different choices in the future.
Someone who knows herself—who truly honors her inner wisdom—no longer seeks outside validation or carries the blame for things beyond her control. She is free from the illusion of guilt disguised as responsibility.
So let’s stop confusing guilt with a misplaced sense of obligation. It’s time to choose yourself, without apology. Your wellbeing depends on it.
Is there something you’re struggling with and cannot resolve?
Would it help to have me provide a new perspective or suggest other possibilities?
Maybe you can’t afford the time or investment in coaching but could still use support. If so, check out my Virtual Video Session. When you need support - real-time - I can help. Click the button below for details.
The Virtual Video SessionJanuary 18, 2025
How to Find Balance in an Unbalanced World
1. Take long walks in quiet places.
2. Dance when no one is looking (but your dog and cat).
3. Listen to your body when it says, “Please, stop.”
4. Find just the right ingredients to create that dish you saw on IG.
5. Bake a homemade pizza full of the healthiest ingredients in your fridge.
6. Splurge on a stracciatella ice cream cone in the sunshine.
7. Dip your toes in the ocean even if it’s cold (especially if it’s cold).
8. Surprise a friend with flowers for no reason.
9. Write poetry to yourself.
10. Cuddle with loved ones, two- or four-footed ones.
11. Smile at the store vendor when they are grouchy.
12. Make a habit of writing down your internal dialogue and if it lacks self-compassion or is full of fear, rewrite it so it nourishes you.
13. Help carry groceries for the older woman who is your neighbor.
14. Walk to town instead of driving.
15. Build cairns in surprising places just because you know someone will smile.
16. Prune the herbs in your garden while you Imagine new ways to use them.
17. Meet a friend for an afternoon at an art gallery.
18. Explore a town you’ve never been, away from tourists or crowds.
19. Schedule a hot stone massage for a cold winter day.
20. Learn to make REAL hot chocolate.
21. Sit by a fire you made yourself simply to watch the flames and feel the warmth.
22. Choose a color for the week and wear it every day.
23. Go tech-free for a weekend – no internet, computers or social media.
24. Stop reading, listening to or watching the news for a few days.
25. Eat only when you’re hungry and sleep when you are tired.
26. Enjoy weekend naps without guilt.
27. Find an empty playground and swing and slide until you laugh out loud.
28. Close your office door for twenty minutes of undisturbed stillness every day.
29. Build a snowman with your family or friends (assuming you have snow!).
30. Go for a swim in the ocean three times a week (assuming you have an ocean and it’s warm enough to go swimming).
January 15, 2025
Life Lessons from a Curmudgeonly Cat
If you want to stop being a control freak, adopt a cat.
Mister Kludde adopted us a couple of years ago. He belonged to my neighbor, who moved away, leaving him behind. I couldn’t bear the thought of him having no one to care for him, so when I moved, Mister Kludde came along too.
Mister Kludde is no cuddly lap cat. He’s a curmudgeon with a strong sense of independence. At first, he ignored me entirely and swiped at Sophie, my dog, any time she dared pass by. But over time, something remarkable happened. Sophie and Mister Kludde reached a truce, and after two years, he decided I was trustworthy too.
Here’s the thing about Mister Kludde: he does what he wants. I never know if a stroke will earn me a purr or a sharp swat. He marches to the beat of his own drum, and I’ve had to learn to let him.
A subtle truce between Sophia and Mister Kludde
In letting Mister Kludde be who he is, I discovered something unexpected: he knows what’s best for him better than I ever could. I stopped trying to control when he should come, go, nap, or eat. Instead, I adopted a simple mantra: “up to you.” I didn’t worry about him.
This practice of letting be—of releasing control—didn’t stay confined to my relationship with Mister Kludde. It started spilling over into other areas of my life and other relationships. When I catch myself thinking I know best, I remember him. People, like cats, know themselves better than I do. It’s not my job to push my agenda or interfere.
Mister Kludde has reminded me that everyone is responsible for their own decisions. By letting him be, I’ve learned to let others be too. And in doing so, I’ve found more peace—for them and for myself.
You never know where your teachers will find you. In my case, my furry friends have been some of my best teachers.
January 11, 2025
10 Affirmations that Keep Me Focused and Happy
Every year I create a wallpaper on my screen to inspire me every day. These are reminders of life in motion, the way I want to live and what I want to create. They have supported me through many difficult times when I had to overcome challenges that I did not think I could overcome. I have these written where I can see them and on my phone to remind me, when I begin to lose faith in myself, that I can be and do more than I believe I am capable of.
Here are my 10 Affirmations.There is always enough therefore I am always enough.
Peace is an inside job.
Shit happens.
Bliss happens.
I get by with a little help from my friends.
Be intentional.
Follow the energy.
Honor my boundaries.
Practice compassion.
Nothing is permanent.
My Affirmations Wallpaper
Think about what you would post on your screensaver!10 Affirmations that Keep Me Focus and Happy
Every year I create a wallpaper on my screen to inspire me every day. These are reminders of life in motion, the way I want to live and what I want to create. They have supported me through many difficult times when I had to overcome challenges that I did not think I could overcome. I have these written where I can see them and on my phone to remind me, when I begin to lose faith in myself, that I can be and do more than I believe I am capable of.
Here are my 10 Affirmations.There is always enough therefore I am always enough.
Peace is an inside job.
Shit happens.
Bliss happens.
I get by with a little help from my friends.
Be intentional.
Follow the energy.
Honor my boundaries.
Practice compassion.
Nothing is permanent.
My Affirmations Wallpaper
Think about what you would post on your screensaver!Let me know in the comments.
January 4, 2025
Why Slow Living
“Some of us don’t want to be tough alpha leaders. Some of us just want to write and wander the garden and breathe in the sky and nourish and nurture and quietly create new pathways and live our lives as our art. To know the earth as poetry.”
— Victoria Erickson, Rhythms and Roads
When someone asks me why I moved to Portugal, not knowing a soul, never having visited, not knowing the language, I say I came to write and to be at peace. That’s true, but it’s incomplete.
The truth is that I came to meet the deeper longing to contribute from who I am, not the ego identity, but from who I am as the expression of life itself.
It sounds heady, but it’s not really.
I believe that we are spiritually the expression of life,
seeking to reach our highest potential of that expression
from the highest regard for who we are as that expression.
(You may need to read that a few times.)
To make that a bit easier to consume, we are life seeking itself.This required not only a mind shift but an entire life shift. A paradox arises. To be the highest creative expression of life through my writing requires less. I needed less attachment to the outer world and yet to remain connected to our humanity and all living things. But this connection had to arise from a place of stillness and flow rather than from a place of action and the drive to make things happen. I recognized that I needed to create the conditions for flow and creative expression.
Although I say I came to be a writer, I meant that I needed to design a life where I could fulfill the potential of life expressing itself through me.
And that, to me, is how I view slow living.Slow living is a misnomer. It’s not so much about being slow as it is about being present and intentional. To be at my most creative requires me to be present to the life around me and within me. I’ve had to divest myself (as much as possible) from the noise of life and decide intentionally what I say yes to and what I say no to.
My friends often fear that I will become a hermit! I won’t, but I am used to being WITH myself. I enjoy the silence and the joy of mornings in my garden listening to birds. I sometimes struggle with an attachment to technology in a digital age where all our answers are found on Google. I’m tech competent and enjoy technology as another form of creative expression. And I also see how addictive it can become.
But I digress…back to slow living…
There are many definitions of “slow living,” to the point that it is dangerously close to becoming trite. I suggest that even in a busy and hurried life, you can include the essence of this lifestyle through the lens of presence.
You can take five minutes to breathe deeply after a meeting.
You can listen to another person as a witness without planning your response.
You can pause to notice a beautiful flower or appreciate the smell of a great meal being cooked, or smile at the grocery checkout person.
These are all part of slow living - of being present to life.
To shift the quality of your attention is different than paying attention to everything, including the noise.You can do this no matter how busy you are.
I remember reading about a social experiment conducted by the Washington Post. A man started playing a violin in the subway during rush hour. Most people rushed by him; a few dropped money in his violin case, and some even paused for a moment before rushing on their way. However, several children stopped to listen, only to be pushed on by their parents. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. When he finished, no one noticed.
No one recognized the violinist. It was Joshua Bell, one of the foremost violinists in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars. He had played to a sold-out audience only days earlier.
It begs the question. What else do we miss when we are not present to life?
Slow living, for me, is the antidote to how we function when we are on auto-pilot in our lives.Pausing to listen to a violinist, to notice the almond blossoms as spring approaches, or to enjoy bird songs is not going slow to go slow. It’s to pay attention so we don’t miss the beauty, and grief as well, around us. All of it comprises a life.
A better question might be:If I am the expression of life,
seeking to reach my highest potential of that expression
from the highest regard for who I am as that expression,
then how do I design a life to be present to life itself (all of it)?
My answer is slow living.I’d be very interested in your thoughts on slow living. What does it mean for you? Please let me know in the comments.
January 1, 2025
What about this Blog?
Hello there. Do we know each other? Maybe. Maybe not.
You can read about me on my About page (makes sense, right?).
I wanted to start by saying a bit about why I decided to move my writing to my website. I have been writing on Medium (sporadically) and Substack (regularly). But here’s the thing. Those platforms are not SEO friendly and they’re outside of my audience; in other words, if you don’t know to go there or haven’t subscribed, then you don’t have access to the good stuff I like to post - like essays on slow living, how to go through life transitions with ease and grace, experiences of wonder and awe, and lots of photos of Sophie and Kludde and the Algarve beauty.
This site is my online home and I’d like to invite you to visit me here.I have many great posts on Substack at Nothing Is Ordinary, some I will likely move here.
In the future, I’ll post minimally there and I’ll post on Notes (Substack’s version of Bluesky), leaving online breadcrumbs leading my followers and subscribers there to my website and writing here.
2024—>2025In the weeks between Christmas and New Year, I noticed where my time and energy have been going. Too much of it is scattered in the internet universe floating around without purpose. I’ll also share my most creative work - poetry, essays, new books, courses and more. And this is the place to be brave and do that.
New BeginningsI have ambitious plans for 2025. I’m working on my next book, on a book of poetry, and writing essays with the hopes of having them published in magazines and journals. I begin producing the audiobook for The Shaman’s Wife so it should be available by March 2025. I plan to hone my writing craft and learn from some of the amazing writers and teachers on Substack.
With so much content and workshops and books that I’ve produced, this year I’ll open a store on the website to share these with you.
And finally, I’d like to bring into my life more ease and time to explore. I got so busy with the publication of my memoir, The Shaman’s Wife, that I let those unexpected day trips and adventures with Sophie lapse. I sorely need to return to those and share them with you here.
A FavorI invite you to subscribe to my newsletter so that you know when I post on the blog and you can follow my adventures, learn from my insights and take advantage of my resources, retreats, offers and services. I send it out twice a month so I won’t overwhelm your Inbox. If you’d like to take a look at past newsletters, you can do that HERE.
SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTER FOR UPDATES AND INSPIRATION
Sophie and I enjoying the cliffs near my cottage.
Whew!That was quite an update! I appreciate your support and I am honored and respectful of your engagement with me, my work and my life.
May 2025 bring you joy, peace and prosperity!
August 22, 2022
The Cost of Losing Awe and Wonder
It’s the end of August in the Algarve of Portugal and I haven't posted an Insights from the Beach for a while. I'm on my daily walk on the cliffs in Ferragudo. I notice the many tourist boats motoring to the grottos to inspect the caves. The tourists are armed with cameras and iPhones and as the boat pauses, they stand to snap an image of the rock formations that are revealed by the low tide.
It occurs to me how strange it is that they come from a busy world focused on productivity and work for an encounter with the raw forces of nature – but still they miss the point. They go on vacation to take photographs of nature yet in their daily lives they are not aware of the habits that destroy the very thing they are here to experience. The gift of nature is not integrated, it’s something outside of the self. Using the lens creates a disconnection and distance from the energy here. There can be no relationship to what they see.
I wonder if they understand that the ocean carved the limestone into this majesty over eons, that the Atlantic storms battered the cliffs to shape them, that sentinels once stood here to protect the mouth of the river Arade from pirates. Do they notice the nests of the seabirds within the cracks in the stone? Are they hearing the whistling sound made by the wind through the rock formations?
Every single time I'm on the cliffs I'm inspired. I breathe in gratitude and experience my time here as something sacred. Maybe we need more wonder and awe to connect to the sacred within us that we try to fill through our desire for material things. Maybe we need to value what is genuine and real so we can reconnect to our essence that we gradually lose as we navigate the demands of life.
If there is no felt sense of the grandeur of these cliffs, of the coast’s history and ancestry and how it shaped the lives of the people here, then the soul has not been nourished. All that is left are photos taken as trophies of a place that is so much more than an Instagram post.
March 18, 2022
A Kitchen Meditation
Photo by Tamanna Rumee on Unsplash
I’m sharing the results of my “kitchen meditation”. Pretty much a whole day thinking through what I wanted to make, getting the ingredients together, mixing, tasting, experimenting, all while listening to some pretty good tunes with some dancing thrown in too.
Curry empanadas
And you might be thinking this is a food post. It’s not.
It’s about meditation.
WHAT ABOUT MEDITATION?The other day I was with a group of people and I mentioned that it was hard for me to slow down because I had so much energy. One person commented, “That from a life coach.”
At the time I didn’t think much of it but those words kept echoing back to me. I didn’t know why until my kitchen meditation.
Common thinking is that slowing down and sitting in meditation is what true meditation is about. It could be and it is for many.
And there’s something else…
There are many of us – many of my clients included – who find it difficult to be still. We’re the kids that were always doodling, daydreaming and fidgeting in the classroom.
For this kind of person, what appears as stillness is interpreted as lack of movement. Not moving feels…kinda like death.
For us it’s different.
We may be more connected to a deeper flow of life which is constant, always moving. Like a river, on the surface it may appear still. But the currents underneath are always flowing.
Our meditation has to do with re-aligning to those currents underneath.
Our definition of stillness is “stillness becoming alive.” This is a process of re-alignment that others find in being physically still.
I don’t need to stop moving to be still – inside. Many people don’t and they will often say they can’t meditate. But they can. Just not in the same way.
BEING PRESENTHave you ever watched a great musician play? Look beyond what you see him doing. Watch how he isn’t actually playing the music. He interacts with it. He joins with it. He becomes it.
There is mastery here…and presence…and stillness.
The artist is in the flow of the universal movement and the music is the conduit to that. Music is happening, he may be moving his hands, but inside, he is still - and in the flow of the universal movement at exactly the same moment.
Yes, this is a paradox. Being still and moving at the same time.
That paradox resolves by being fully present in that moment.
Some achieve this kind of presence through yoga, tai chi, or meditation using their breath to connect to the flow.
But not everyone.
Photo by Marko Blažević on Unsplash
BLISS HAPPENSI remember discovering this paradox while kayaking on the Chesapeake Bay. The waves were soft, rocking the kayak back and forth. I adjusted my paddling to harmonize with the waves.
And then I closed my eyes.
Bliss happened.
It was a feeling of complete oneness with the water, with the wind, with the sky.
My body rocked with the waves, perfectly balanced and open to receiving the movement from the water. My breath caught the rhythm that was present in the air and water.
I have no recollection of how long I was on the water like this.
I felt only peace and joy and an expansiveness difficult to describe.
This was my meditation.
And I was still – and moving.
STILLNESS BECOMING ALIVEThere is an exquisite point in time where stillness becomes alive. When you join with the present moment and immerse yourself in something that brings you closer to your heart, to your joy, to your soul.
That kind of stillness generates energy.
It's not grand. It's in the simple, ordinary things. Like cooking. Or kayaking.
You feel it. And afterwards you are more present to your life, more joyful. More conscious of your inner world.
You are more alive.
WHAT’S YOUR KITCHEN MEDITATION?Maybe you lose yourself in the kitchen, using your senses to flavor the food you carefully chose, seeking just the right presentation to do justice to your creation.
Maybe you’re an artist and your canvas and paintbrush are the elements that bring you into a profound sense of being.
Maybe you’re the musician laying down the tracks that come to you in dreams and imaginings until the notes are just right.
Maybe you’re the athlete that finds herself running into the flow of the universal movement until the world falls away and you’re still in your mind and heart as your body moves through space and time.
Everyone has a way of connecting to that present moment, to that stillness we hunger for in our crazy, noisy world so that we can remember who we really are and what truly matters.
You can be still and still moving.Do more of that.
Your happiness will increase, your stress will diminish, and you’ll find the kind of peace that generates positive energy in the world.
If you’re ready to practice being present, to yourself and to what is around you, in a compassionate, non-judgemental space with great beauty and nourishment for the soul, mind, heart and body, then please check out Restorative Retreats in Portugal.
