Shannon Ables's Blog, page 330

Style Inspiration: Simply White

I must admit, I’ve never been one to abide by the rule of when and where I can wear white; however the difference between a warm winter white versus a brilliant fresh spring white is certainly discernible as to choose one over the other projects exactly the necessary feeling (warmth vs. fresh and new).

As spring begins, to choose white in the myriad of ways each woman does in today’s post projects confidence. Just as wearing black projects a mysterious confidence, white too exudes confidence. Perhaps as much for the daring choice to wear something that reveals any stain or mark, but also because it doesn’t disguise, yet reveals one’s figure.

Whether as a complement or an ensemble choice, when styled astutely, white can work magnificently with any woman or man’s wardrobe. A white blazer has been on my shopping list for a while and a well-structured, well made white button up is always worth investing in as it can be worn casually or to the office as demonstrated below. Enjoy perusing.

~STYLE INSPIRATION POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

~White, Black & Gray

~Summer Whites

~Black & White

 

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The Francophile’s Style Guide: The 14 Essentials

“French women don’t have too many clothes – a few good pieces that last for a while and are classic and timeless.” -Mireille Guiliano
The Simple Sophisticate, episode #32

Spring time is beginning burst, and nowhere is my attention dreaming of being more than in Paris. Ah, to be anywhere in France during the spring time months would be sweet dream come true. Why? Well, not only does one have the luxury of wandering through streets in which the spring blossoms are evanescently decorating their temporary homes, but the styles are free from the winter bulk, yet available for touches of layering.

With the guides of How to Be a Parisian Wherever You Are and Ines de la Fressange’s Parisian Chic, along with my own personal observation, I’ve cultivated a style guide of 14 essentials for curating a French-inspired capsule wardrobe. What you will notice, if you are familiar with TSLL capsule wardrobe guide is that most of the essentials are similar. Why? French style has been my muse and continues to be my muse as I pull together my own wardrobe. I may not carry it off as effortlessly as Caroline De Maigret or Ines de la Fressange, but I will forever be trying to hone my inner French girl.

In today’s blog post, each essential is accompanied by a couple, and in some cases, a handful of style inspiration images, all capturing chic French women of today demonstrating how to epitomize the style women from around the world are curious to emulate. From the two style icons, models and writers I mentioned previously, Caroline and Ines, to Cecile Cassel, Lou Dillion, Julia Restoin Roitfeld, Marion Cottilard, Vanessa Paradis, Garance Dore, Audrey Tautou, Carla Bruni, Emmanuelle Alt, and Anne Berest, each woman exemplifies their own take on French style. However, in choosing these modern chic women, in the back of our minds will be the founding stylistas such as Coco Chanel, Jane Birkin, Bridgette Bardot, and Catherine Deneuve, just to name a few. Everywhere you look, in each one of these images or in our mind’s eye, these women incorporate one if not more than one of these essentials into their style.

1. A quality day handbag

While closets are small for the average Parisian, the need for a capsule wardrobe is a necessity, but so too is only owning a few handbags – day and evening and perhaps one for travel. This fact alone teaches one quickly the lesson of investing in a versatile, quality handbag. Now we don’t need to splurge exorbitantly on a Birkin which was inspired by Jane Birkin’s frustration when she couldn’t find a preferred weekend bag (in fact, according to style trend critics, this bag is no longer the “it” bag, if you care to know). But to invest in something, as I spoke about in this post, that is in your budget, fits your lifestyle and will last, are the three factors to consider when making your decision.

2. Ankle skimming jeans & pants (cigarette, skinny or straight-leg)

Why ankle skimming? Why taped or straight? A woman’s figure is something to revel in, to own and not shy from. Also, since we are investing, we want to purchase pants or jeans that will be in style from year to year, thus the refusal to purchase trends is always a good idea (flares may be fun, but if they are the only pair you are able to purchase, you may want to reconsider). Depending upon your body type, choose a pant that has a leg opening that flatters your proportions. Narrower is usually better, as wide leg openings on shorter or pear-shaped women distract from the beautiful silhouette. Either way, make sure the hem goes all the way to the top of your ankle – no capris or culottes as they cut our bodies in the wrong place and disrupt a slimming line. These (here and here) are my favorite denim options, and be sure to shop below as well for other options:

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3. Flats 

High heels may look marvelous, but they are generally not worn very often if one has to be walking to and fro throughout their everyday. If heels are worn, they are at events or kitten heels are chosen, or if one has minimal walking to do. Either way, French women are a daily reminder of how chic a flat shoe can be. Whether you prefer the ballet flat, the smoking slipper or the loafer, invest in a couple that can work with a multitude of your outfits and you will be set.

SHOP FLATS HERE:

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4. Versatile black dress

For day and evening, have a black dress that can be appropriate for work with a simple blazer layered upon it or be a show-stopper without the fuss in the evening.

SHOP HERE:

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5. Tailored black blazer

Black is always a safe option as you will see in #14 of this list, but while I state it, I also find it depends on your climate, skin type and preference as well. The key is to have a tailored blazer in your closet. Navy, taupe, white, black, it doesn’t matter, as long as it works with your capsule wardrobe. What you will notice with each of these images is that the tailoring is exquisite, and that makes a tremendous difference for establishing a feminine aesthetic, if that is part of your style.Wear with jeans, where over a dress, it’s up to you, but the power of the blazer is its versatility.

SHOP HERE:

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6. Scarves (one lightweight, one heavy & warm)

A no brainer, and perhaps the easier one to shop for, and the most enjoyable, no?  When you’re not sure which accessory to grab, grab a scarf. When the weather is transitioning, and you’re not sure if you need a jacket, select a scarf to bridge the gap. Select a warm, cozy cashmere for cooler months, and a beautiful light-weight signature prints for spring and summer. You can never have too many, and you don’t have to spend a fortune.

SHOP HERE:

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7. Oversized sunglasses

Whether you didn’t do your make-up, or the sun is blazing, having a pair of oversized sunglasses not necessarily a fashion essential staked claim by the French, but it is one they adhere to without apology. Keeping in mind your face structure, select a style that works for you (click here to determine each). One style that seems to work on nearly everyone’s face is the aviator: black or metal, always a safe decision.

SHOP HERE:

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8. Simple, yet expensive T-shirt

In my current favorite Parisian style guide, How to Be Parisian Wherever You Live, the authors are adamant that a chic wardrobe must contain an expensive t-shirt. While typically, I am all about purchasing bargain t-shirts for working and leisuring about the home, they make a sound point. Layered with a blazer, the t-shirt creates a carefree balance between high and low. And even though you may have paid a pretty penny, it doesn’t appear that way. Select a fabric that contains jersey and a bit of stretch, and care for it dearly, not wearing for just any occasion, but noting, its primary purpose is to provide comfort in a variety of settings without looking frumpy. Below are a few to take a look at.

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9. Oversized sweater

French women of style present an attitude of blasé aloofness that is unparalleled anywhere else it seems to me. The oversized blouse, sweater or coat drives this point home. With anything that is oversized, it must be balanced, and for a classic look, make sure to pair this staple with tailored pants, shorts or a skirt. The idea is to not reveal all, yet know exactly how to balance the two opposites.

SHOP HERE:

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10. Mid-length trench coat

Ideal for work, and versatile year-round, the classic trench, whether you choose khaki, black or any other print or color in between, offers a timeless silhouette. Pair with jeans or over a dress, it doesn’t matter, it will always look effortlessly chic.

SHOP HERE:

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11. White button-up shirt

Whether cotton or silk, or a mixture of both, having a white button-shirt is a must. One of my favorite go-to outfits when I don’t know what to wear, is jeans, ballet flats, a fitted white shirt untucked and a pair of earrings or a simple necklace. Simple, appropriate for a variety of settings, and very comfortable. This one from Equipment in particular is my favorite and this one from Theory is a steal of a deal right now. And if you’re looking for an over-sized version, here’s a great option from Madewell.

SHOP HERE:

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12. Signature day dress

Wearing a dress is one of the simplest decisions we can make before we take on the day ahead of us. In one motion, we are clothed and simply need to accessorize. How simple is that? With that said, knowing we have a dress that flatters our physique and is appropriate for wherever our day may take us, is a priceless comfort. Whether you prefer A-lines, shirt dresses, wrap, or sheaths, always keep an eye out for dresses that are timeless, flattering and will last from year to year. Oh, and always make sure they adhere to your signature style.

 

13. Nautical stripes

Brought into vogue by the queen of style and comfort, Chanel’s epic decision would not have been considered to be left off of this list. Need I say more? Okay, I will, really quickly. Don’t forget about sweaters that contain stripes or tops that are unique in style as to how they use the stripe, but always choose horizontal for your top, never for your bottom half. Have fun shopping!

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14. Black

As a fail-safe, black will always and forever be an option. Wear it, layer it, add a pop of personality to accessorize it as you will see in the images below, but exude confidence most definitely when you select it.





~FRANCOPHILE POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

~The 8 Gifts of Mastering the French Mystique

~Why Not . . . Indulge Your Inner Francophile?

~See all of TSLL Francophile posts here

~Francophile episodes on The Simple Sophisticate: #4 – 10 Ways to Unearth Your Inner Francophile; #23 – The French Way: How to Create a Luxurious Everyday Life

Petit Plaisir:
Dark Chocolate Mousse (click for the recipe)

Images: (1) (cecile Cassel purple blazer (2) (3) ) (Lou Dillion blazer (2) Julia Roitfeld blackglasses (2) (3) MarionCottilard 1 (2) (3) (4) (5) Vanessa Paradis bag  Audrey Tatou 1 (2) (3) Lea coat  Carla Bruni black blazer Carla scarf Carlapurplescarf Carla black dress   Emmanuelle alt white jeans Emmauelle alt stripes alt black blazer allayer alt blackanklejean chanelblackdress Birkin bag Caroline Stripes Caroline stripes 2 Carolinehandbag Carolinestripes3 Carolineblack Anne B style  Ines flats Inesblueblazer Ines stripe whitejeansInes warmscarf garancedorescarf colorfulscarf trenchclassic trench street oversizedsweater blacktrench garancesweater oversizedsweater3 oversizedstripesunnies oversiezedglassesblue

 

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This & That: No. 152

Book
~A Fine Romance by Candice Bergen

One sitcom that I have always wanted to watch in its entirety as I have only watched a few episodes (each piquing my interest further), is Murphy Brown. And as it is only on Encore Classic, it was going cost a little extra each month. Needless to say, I adjusted my budget and added the channel to my tv package, and I couldn’t be more thrilled with the humor, and most importantly, the issues that are creatively broached.

With all of that said, Candice Bergen is a force. An inspiring force. Younger viewers may recognize her as Carrie Bradshaw’s editor at Vogue in Sex and the City, but for those who are also a fan from long before, you will remember her spat with Dan Quayle and much more. On Tuesday, Bergen releases her latest memoir, A Fine Romance. Following up her best-selling Knock Wood (1984), her latest book divulges insights and tales surrounding her marriage to a famous French director, her time on Murphy Brown, being a widow, falling in love again and observing her daughter blossom into the woman she is today. My copy is on its way soon, and I am eager to learn more about this intriguing woman.

Cookbook
~Classic Recipes for Modern People by Max & Eli Sussman

From fellow chef siblings, Max and Eli have just released their fourth cookbook (March 31) which is a handy resource of classic recipes that have been spruced up to reflect bolder and more satiating flavors. Divided into eight sections, such as “Breakfast Classics”, “TV Dinner Classics” and “Future Classics”, have a look below at a few samplings below.

Decor
~Roseshire

As someone who loves fresh flowers in my home, I also like to know that when I send flowers as gifts to loved ones in which I am unable to select the bouquet and quality myself, what is delivered should exceed my high expectations. Last month I was introduced to Roseshire, a luxury rose delivery service that pays attention to every detail, and exceed my expectations they most certainly did.

With each order being delivered from the top flower producers in California, my special delivery of two dozen roses arrived in two days (see the images below), and each rose was in impeccable shape. Each are individually cared for and packaged, and simple, detailed instructions are included for the recipient. Whether you prefer red, soft pink (see above) or a party mixture, I highly recommend their service.

Case in point, I had been traveling this past week and didn’t realize the delivery would be made when I was gone. Upon arriving home, the roses were still exceptionally fresh and plush, well-watered and still (one week later) look stunning – the image below as captured Thursday evening. Graciously, they sent me a second delivery as they wanted to ensure I had the freshest flowers, but I must say, the first delivery spoke to their quality even more due to my absence. So at this moment I have four dozen roses in my home. Would anyone like one bouquet?

 

Shopping
~Aerin Vaccaro sandal (more here)

It is sandal season, and perhaps you, like me, are in need up a spruce up in this department. Searching for a statement sandal that can be versatile with many different outfits, Aerin Lauder’s accessories line regularly offers beautiful seasonal options and her Vaccaro sandal is no exception. Available in tan or white, this sandal is an investment, but it will be a classic you will be able to wear for years.

~Enza Costa gray mid-weight cashmere sweater

Light to mid weight cashmere sweaters are my favorite to have on hand for spring and summer evenings. Pair this cashmere with white denim ankle pants and Aerin’s sandals, and well, chic, effortless style has been accomplished!

~ Vionnet silk & jersey top

A beautiful silk blouse with a statement print is a fun and simple way to step away from a solid shirt option. And at a reasonable price, why not check out Vionnet’s?

Yard & Garden
~Worx Aerocart

Time to get out and work in the yard. And oy-vey, do I have a lot of pruning and trimming to do as last year’s cold zapped a few of my perennials. In other words, I will need a  wheelbarrow, but to have one that serves as a dolly as well to move items about – not a bad contraption. Saving space and helping out around the house – now that is a frugal purchase.

 ~recipe for Meyer Lemon Almond Tea Cake~

Such a fun and memorable past seven days, not only with regards to the book signing, but with new and returned beloved series here on the blog. What are they? A bit more shopping has returned on a weekly basis to TSLL as well as a new series I have been eager to kick-off.

Ah, but after a very eventful and busy week, I am ready for the weekend. The grass is beyond green, the sprinklers are now turned on, so that means some time in the yard is beckoning and I will gladly oblige. Oh, but this Saturday, I am going to take much of the day for me: reading a few new books that just arrived (here and here), pampering myself with a spa visit and getting back into my yoga groove. What will you be up to this weekend? Hopefully something restorative, much-anticipated and wonderfully aligned to your interests.

If you happen to be reading this weekend, here are a few items you might enjoy. Until Monday everyone, bonjour!

~The Coveteur goes inside Arianna Huffington’s home and closet

~Have you ever considered letting go of social media? Find out what it could be like here.

~How to Live a Long, Happy & Healthy Life

~Never stop learning . . . How to Discover What You Don’t Know You Don’t Know

~A reader kindly brought this to my attention and I am absolutely grateful. How to simplify your phone to limit distractions

~And about money, enrich your life by weaning yourself from living paycheck to paycheck

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Thoughts from the Editor: TSLL’s First Book Signing

One of the wisest life truths I have discovered to be helpful when it comes to responding to life’s unknowns is to let go of expectation and rather focus on intention.  In the first post of 2015 in fact, the idea of living with more intention and less expectation was an undercurrent I hoped to incorporate more fully in life as the year unfolded.

Certainly, this approach is easier or more difficult depending upon the circumstance, but when we do our best in all that is in our power, I’ve found it to be much easier to let go. Often what transpires exceeds our expectations. And such was the case this past Saturday afternoon at the first book signing of Choosing The Simply Luxurious Life: A Modern Woman’s Guide. 

The Bookloft is a cozy, bibliophile’s haven in my childhood home of Enterprise, Oregon. And the book signing and reading event hosted by Mary Swanson, the owner, exceeded my expectations. With approximately 40 people attending and cultivating a convivial environment of lively thoughtful conversation, I was delighted to see so many people come, stay, mingle and nibble in the back cafe of the bookstore.

While I erroneously brought too few books as we sold out (a good problem to have, no?), I will never forget this most memorable of dreams coming true event. With the guidance, help and thoughtfulness of Rochelle D., Shelley M., Anne S. , Alyssa W, Pamela F., Arrowhead Chocolates, and my mother Judy, as the next step in the journey that is the simply luxurious life unfolded, I will forever be grateful.

Have look below at a few images captured during the reading and just prior to the arrival of TSLL readers. As you will notice, I like to talk with my hands.

 

~Where will TSLL Book Tour be heading next?  New Orleans! Learn more here.

~Shop the outfit here.

~The answer to the question, I have a feeling you’re asking is . . . Yep, those were my favorite chocolate truffles on the table that I talk about incessantly on the blog and mention in the book. And they will be traveling with me as well. Hope to see you at a future book signing event!

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Outfit of the Week: White Spring

White, flares and blush, all spring trend or seasonal items that will be ubiquitous in boutiques and online.  So long as the waist is high and the length of the flare just kisses the ground, such a style can be lengthening for many different body types. The key is to wear heels, sky-high heels if need to.

And why not make it monochromatic? Quite a statement and easy to match, even if you don’t want to match absolutely, choose cream as Rosie Huntington-Whiteley demonstrates, rich, regal and sophisticated. Either way, a few fun and classic staples for the upcoming season.

~Frame Le High Flare high-rise jeans and here~

~Dion Lee Striped ribbed-knit sweater~

~Tory Burch Kempner High-heel Slide~

~Banana Republic Larkin tote in blush (other colors available)~

~Chloe round-frame “brick” sunglasses~

~SHOP THE OUTFIT:

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Good Grammar Is . . .

“Your grammar is a reflection of your image. Good or bad, you have made an impression. And like all impressions, you are in total control.” -Jeffrey Gitomer

I can still remember my mom correcting  me as a child about the proper order of a noun and the first person pronoun in the subject, “Sophia and I”, not “Me and Sophia”. Argh! Why did it matter? my 12 year old self would mutter under my breath. But as I’ve grown up, learned from making many mistakes and mispronunciations along the way as well as being reminded by readers of typos here on TSLL, I’ve come to the realization that there is a magnificent power behind the words we chose choose.

But wait a second, you may be saying, being pedantic isn’t attractive either, and I would wholeheartedly agree. But as someone who loves to dance with words, circles words in articles and books so as to look them up and add to my vocabulary, I may be a bit bias on the allure of elevated diction and proper syntax. But the key is to know your audience. In a professional setting: an interview or presentation, speaking properly and writing properly, builds confidence and credibility. And more importantly, when it comes to communication, choosing the precise word conveys the intended mood, tone or image in the listener/reader’s mind.

I think Stephen Fry explains it best in the video below: have fun with language, use it as you will, but don’t be intimidated by it and don’t use it to wield superiority over others.

So, it is okay to misspell from time to time? After all, the auto-correct is always quick to assume and humiliate (at least that’s what I’m going to blame it on). Absolutely. A grammar or spelling critic, quite honestly, can be a wet blanket. We all have slips of the fingers on the keys. But sometimes we just want to know and learn. When should we use fewer vs. less? There are many rules I am continually brushing up on, and as an English teacher, one of the greatest angsts is the expectation of perfection. But I’ve come to find peace with the fact that I am human, and will always have something to learn. So long as I remain open to constructive criticism and do my best, that is all I can do.

With that said, I would like to invite you to join me on the journey of the English language. After all, there are many questions, broken rules and oddities that simply require memorization. And who doesn’t want to add one more word (such as luculent) to their vocabulary to complete that Sunday Times Crossword puzzle or win a few more points on Jeopardy in their leisure time?

Just in case you’re curious . . .

luculent (adj) - of speech or writing, clearly expressed

EX: The guest speaker’s brilliant, luculent commencement address brought the class of 2015 to their feet.

With the invitation extended, a new series has begun here on TSLL blog. Each post will remain short (today’s is an exception), with one grammar lesson or word of the week to inspire and bolster your vocabulary or remind you of a word to consider using more often.

All grammar lessons and vocabulary terms will be archived in the “English” category, should you want to peruse them once a handful have accumulated. So here we go!

While this week’s lesson is less of a proper usage rule and more of a phonetic guide, it is something that for me was initially intimidating and foreign. For my European readers, the umlaut and diaeresis are more commonly seen, but for American readers, the only publication that vows to continue to use each religiously is The New Yorker. Either way, once we know, then we can observe it as a helping hand as we nonchalantly pronounce the word in question exactly as it was designed.

 

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Style Inspiration: Black & Stripes

It’s time to pull out the nautical attire. Whether a sweater, a skirt, a dress or a shirt, stripes are a staple I always love to update in my wardrobe. And of course, you cannot go wrong with black. Even for spring, having a pair of flattering black pants is always a good idea for contrast. Just to kick off the nautical season, shop at the bottom of the post for a few transitional springy stripe ideas.

~SHOP THE STRIPES:

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How to Live a Courageous Life

“When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.” -Napoleon Hill
~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #31

Alison Gopnik shared in a recent article, the power of exposure to fear: depending upon when during our lives we are exposed to fearful situations will determine the effect such exposure has. Placing an exclamation point on the importance of raising a child in a safe home environment in their developmental years, the article also shed light on the power of our brains and what we perceive to be something to fear.

“Early experiences help shape the fear system. If caregivers protect us from danger early in life, this helps us to develop a more flexible and functional fear system later.” 

The good news is whether we had protection from dangers early in life, we can unlearn an irrational fear response. In other words, all of us have the capacity to be courageous. But how exactly can each one of us be courageous? With a guidance from a handful of quotes from Arianna Huffington’s book What It Means to Be Fearless: In Love, Life, & Work, let me show you.

1. Choose Courage Over Security

I can only speak for myself, but I have a feeling I’m not in the minority. Part of the reason change, taking a leap we’ve never done, facing down a fear and taking a risk is daunting is because we suppose that our security – whether it be our job, our relationship, our safety, the comforts we’ve grown accustomed to, will evaporate upon making the courageous decision we are contemplating.

While we must respect this valid feeling, we must not choose comfort in a bad job, a miserable marriage or an unhealthy situation, over the opportunity to improve our life circumstances. Because while we may have to stretch and ride out the transition which can be uncertain and bumpy, it is only temporary and will subside. And once it subsides, the horizon we step into will reward us for stepping into our fears rather than being ruled by them.

“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.” ― C. JoyBell C.

2. Rewrite the Story in Your Mind

“The first step toward changing the world is to change our vision of the world and of our place in it.” -Arianna Huffington

Again, speaking from experience, I’m a fantastic story teller, and by story teller, I mean the doom and gloom of what will happen to my life if my risk-taking doesn’t work out. Funny thing I have to admit however, those stories I fear will unfold, never have. I’m not saying we shouldn’t consider everything that could happen, and be reasonable in our approach, but we must also refuse to underestimate ourselves.

Brain science has revealed that we are still hard-wired neurologically to seek out security, survival. And when we do something that may threaten our survival (financial earnings, roof over our heads, etc), our minds go into alert-mode and, well, panic. It is our job to understand this about ourselves, and then do the necessary homework to prepare for the change we are about to make to the best our of abilities. Will the timing ever be perfect to leap? I hate to say it, but at the same time, hopefully this will ease your mind, no, there will never be a perfect time. So do your due diligence, have patience, and then do what you dare.

3. Look at Your Fears Objectively

As I mentioned in #2, often our fears are a result of old survival innate responses. Our job is to determine which fears are rational and which are not. Rational fear would be to reach for your phone while driving – not a good idea. But an irrational fear such as being trepidatious about doing something new because you don’t know how it will turn out, is irrational. Again, it comes back to doing your homework, realizing everything has to have a beginning, we all have to try something for the first time, and to chalk up all experience to growth and lessons learned regardless of the outcome.

4. Exercise the Muscle

“Fearlessness is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the more natural it becomes to not let your fears run you.” -Arianna Huffington

Stepping into our fears becomes easier with practice. And often each attempt becomes easier as we gradually build up to more significant new experiences. One example is traveling by ourselves. For many of us, it’s second-nature, but for others, this may be a terrifying thing to do, What if I miss my flight? What if I don’t hear the announcement? Whichever camp you place yourself, part of our fear is rooted in the unknown. Anyone can travel by themselves, but it is experience that teaches us how. Practice. So if you’ve never traveled alone, make a short trip first to build up to traveling internationally or across the country. Practice, really does fine tune our skills and calm our fears.

5. Widen Your Perspective

“Children brought up to feel that their lives have a larger purpose are more likely to keep their own troubles in perspective.” -Arianna Huffington

Listening to the news last week, the turmoil in Syria was brought up, and it was juxtaposed with Americans and our angst when it comes to taxes as the tax deadline is looming. The radio host chose to include a clip from a teenager who was complaining that she would be filing her taxes for the first time since she had just recently begun working, and she was perturbed because she didn’t know how, blaming her school for not teaching her.

Needless to say, whining about not knowing how to do something and living in a state of civil war would seem to put everything in perspective. So ask yourself, what’s the worse case scenario? What happens if you don’t get exactly what you want upon pursuing your desired change? Allow perspective, taking yourself out of the spotlight, to help motivate you to at least try. I think you will be very glad you did when it is all said and done.

6. Choose Your True Potential

“Squashing our true selves is a major cause of fear, anxiety, and depression.” -Arianna Huffington

Settling is always an option. When we know that things could be much worse than we are, we sometimes may choose to settle rather than striving forward toward something that has been aching inside of us. But as Arianna Huffintgon reminds, “A fear-driven life is a life not fully lived,” and I would have to whole-heartedly agree.

7. Understand Your Capabilities

“Making the choice to move forward despite fear is an evolved decision that transcends our animal nature.” -Arianna Huffington

While we live in a modern society with highly technological advancements, we still have hard-wiring in our mind that can be described as animalistic. Our instinctive responses for sex, food, security, are all natural responses, often responses that we shouldn’t heed each time they arise in our minds if we are going to successfully live and flourish in our civilized society.

So when we choose to look our fears in the face and step forward toward them anyway, it is natural to be trepidatious. Face them anyway, and go forward knowing why you feel the way you do. That alone gives you more power to accept and successfully maneuver beyond the challenge.

8. Manage Stress

Often our fears increase our stress which then turns into an ugly cycle, because we are less able to be rational, and our fears increase tenfold. In this case, it is best to be preventative. Schedule regular exercise and meditation into your daily or weekly routine. Will this eliminate all stress from our lives? No, but it will mitigate it, lessen it and help us to think clearer during those times of stress that is out of our hands. The key is to know when our anxiety is ratcheting up. When we can recognize this, we need to not make rash decisions or succumb to our fears and run.

9. Face the Unknowns

Speaking of facing our fears, as I mentioned in a post three years ago, often we are fearful because we don’t know enough about what we are considering or what has been presented to us. So what can we do? You got it – educate ourselves. Do the homework. When we know we don’t have to rely on ignorant, baseless platitudes, we can sit confidently on facts, truths and the knowledge of what we are capable of, and that allows us to take back the power.

10. Talk It Out

I laughed out loud when I came across this cartoon (below) in last week’s New Yorker because it holds so much truth. Our closest confidantes most likely don’t hold a degree in psychology, but we (and I do include myself in this “we” wholeheartedly) share our woes and worries often hoping against hope that they will know why and what we should do. And while they can give their best advice based on their experience, really what we are in need of is the opportunity to share, vent and work through what’s running through our minds.

I can profess that upon having such a conversation, it often proves to be the elixir to many of my fears. While our friends and family may not have an official degree, they certainly have a cure of helping us eradicate irrational worry and allowing us to hear our absurd worries. Once we hear ourselves say some of our fears out loud, we can then laugh at ourselves and move forward with reassurance that we may not know how it will all work out, but we are capable of making it work out one way or the other.

“What is friendship if not constant amateurish psychoanalysis?” (c/o The New Yorker, March 23, 2015 issue)

11. Pat Yourself on the Back

No matter how small of an act you have attempted, allow yourself a mini celebration, and absolutely don’t feel guilty about upping the ante if you took on a huge feat. Treat yourself to a massage, a beautiful new pair of shoes or a nice bottle of champagne. Sometimes we have to be our own cheerleaders, and if we have friends that want to join us, celebrate with them as well.

In many ways, the fears that pop up in our lives are a road map. A virtual city guide of where we should take our lives or at least a reminder of what we value highly. Repeatedly, those who have taken risks return to those who are still waiting timidly being arrested by their fears to assure us that our fears are simply telling us what we care most passionately about. Heed these signs, do the homework and then strive bolding in the direction that continually pops up in your mind.

While none of us will ever eradicate fear from our lives, what we can do is learn to master it, use it to our advantage and allow it to propel us on our road toward reaching our full potential.

~Podcast Note: The Simple Sophisticate is looking to add a second episode each week beginning this summer. While I have many ideas bouncing around in my mind, I would love to hear from you, the reader/listener. What would you enjoy most each Friday for 10-15 minutes before the weekend begins? Please do share in the comments section as I want to continue to bring TSLL audience ideas, inspiration and information that will continue to assist you as you live intelligent while perpetually exuding your signature style. 

 

~POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

~8 Ways to Be More Courageous

~How to Be Brave

~Your Fear is Speaking

Petit Plaisir
~Pear, Goat Cheese, Prosciutto & Honey Bites

~inspired by this post

Ingredients:

2-3 Forelle pears (mini, and perfectly sweet for snacking)
3 oz of thinly sliced prosciutto (any deli ham will do in a pinch)
4 ounces of goat cheese (brie would work well also)
honey
water crackers (thinly sliced baguette works too)

Directions:

Find a cheese or cutting board for display.
Thinly slice pears.
Arrange all five ingredients on the platter.
Place honey in a small dish (seen in the picture).
Place spoon for drizzling honey and cheese knife on the platter.
Voilà!

Images: (1)

The post How to Live a Courageous Life appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.

This & That: No. 151

Blog
~Late Afternoon Blog

Fashion blogger, Liz Cherkasova, has created a beautiful respite of beauty, style and living well in southern California. Having happened up on her blog while perusing the web for street style looks, I began diving into her archived posts and discovered recipes, simple home decor touches and well, gorgeous photography.

Book
~Murder on the Champ de Mars by Cara Black

Ms. Black is back with her latest sleuth tale starring Aimée Leduc. Just released on March 3, Leduc finds herself in Paris in 1999 trying to solve a mystery of a missing mother who appears to have been abducted before she can share a life-long held secret prior to her impending passing due to bad health. Impelled by the mother’s son to investigate, Aimée lands herself in the middle of another Parisian caper.

Culture
~Women on 20s

It came to my attention earlier this past month that there is an ardent movement to replace Andrew Jackson on America’s twenty dollar bill with a prominent, historical female figure by the year 2020 (the centennial of the 19th amendment – women’s suffrage). After all, the United Kingdom has Queen Elizabeth II on their paper currency, Eva Perón on Argentina’s, but is this actually a change that could be come to fruition?

Put simply, yes. In an 1862 act of Congress, the Treasury was given near complete control over the paper currency (Congress remains in control of the coinage). So long as they don’t change the face on the dollar bill (the 2001 Legal Tender Modernization Act protects George Washington), the words “In God We Trust” are written on the currency and the face represents someone who is deceased, the change can be made by the executive branch.

One hundred thousand votes are needed to petition for the change, and as reported earlier this week, more than 150,000 have now voted. But who should appear on it? You can vote here for your top three from a list narrowed down to 16. The final vote will take place in April, so be sure to return to cast your final voice on what looks to be a long-awaited change. (Have a look at the discussion in The New York Times.)

~Entertaining
~Custom Matchbooks from For Your Party

Matchbooks are becoming harder and harder to find as fewer and fewer people choose to smoke, but what about the need for matches around the home to light our candles and fireplaces? While created for party planning, anyone can purchase and customize their very own matchbooks from For Your Party. With a variety of different styles, colors and box shapes (triangle, round, envelope, box, etc), you are sure to select a unique design that will provide simple, yet fitting aesthetic touches to vignettes around your home.

Food
~Him in the Kitchen cookies

New York based food photographer Armando Rafael Moutela with training from the Institute of Culinary Education in baking spent an entire year perfecting a cookie which strikes the perfect balance between chewy (the middle) and crunchy (the outside edges). But wait, we all have recipes that can do that. This is what makes his unique: cardamom and cayenne pepper. You read that correctly. Finished with a dash of sea salt on top, the lethally scrumptious pairing of sweet and savory is destined for a pleasurable response. With only one varietal, but two sizes (mini and mega), you can order a dozen for $10 (mini) or $20 (mega) here.

Shopping
~Jeffrey Campbell Meryl Suede Sandal

Suede is the trend of the season, and if you’re not planning on wearing it in your clothing, why not add the unique texture to your toes? These nude suede sandals won’t break the bank, but will certainly help to elongate your leg and show off your most recent spring pedicure.

 ~recipe for Goat Cheese, Prosciutto and Fig Tartine~

Between rain showers and sunshine streams, this past week has been an absolute treat to savor. Sometimes it takes a week such as this in which the seasons are changing to recognize that we too can indeed change as well if we so choose. While there will always be heartbreaking news occurring in our world, there will also always be beauty and joy if we choose to seek it out and cultivate it within ourselves. I was constantly reminded of this life truth as I lost myself in my life this week, in a very good way.

The readers of TSLL blog, you, continue to humble me with your time, your comments and your support. Your desire to courageously live your best and most amazing life reminds me that there is far more good and hopeful entities in our world than there could ever be the contrary. Whatever it is you wish to materialize in your life, whether it’s a unique invention, a new and creative business venture, travel experiences that you are right now only dreaming about or to simply hold a diploma of your desired field in your hands, know that you will be successful. With ardent perseverance and determination, you will be successful.

This weekend marks a dream come true for me, the first of a handful of book signings and readings is taking place, and more excitedly, the first being in my childhood hometown. No matter how few or how many people stop by, just being able to have this opportunity is a dream come true. And I share this primarily to note that I know, I know very well, that none of this could have happened without you, the readers of TSLL. Merci beaucoup. So keep striving, keep diving into your life, because as I have a feeling you are discovering, it is an amazing treasure hunt with beautiful moments and memories to experience.

Now to weekend reading you might enjoy . . .

~The beauty routine from the one and only Jenna Lyon’s 

~As you make your travel plans to France, you’ll want to know Where to Find Designer Vintage at one of the top flea markets in Paris

~It all begins with each of us . . . How to Create an Amazing Love Life Even If You Haven’t Found Anyone Yet

~Perfect timing with this week’s episode on the podcast. The New York Times shares specific ideas about How to Manage Media in Families

~Self-Improvement time - 12 Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away from You

~One of my long time favorite life improvement blogs talks about The Two Basic Brain Settings that Shape Our Lives: Fixed vs. Growth

~And to make sure we end on an up note . . . 7 Simple Rules for a Happier, Healthier Life

Images: (2)

The post This & That: No. 151 appeared first on The Simply Luxurious Life®.

Thoughts from the Editor: SJP & Spring

As spring slowly blossoms into its potential, the rainy days that keep us inside offer the perfect opportunity to clear out and organize. And it just so happens that I was introduced to a blogger that offers creative, simple, common-sensical ways to do just that. Toni of A Bowl Full of Lemons offers discussion groups on the topic of your choice (budgeting, home organization, life and even a book club), as well as specific step-by-step guides for organizing your home, creating a budget and much more.

However, when spring begins, I must admit, I want to step out of my routines, try something new and stretch myself. So tomorrow, I am picking up very own stand up paddle board. Preferring a used board, which is much better on the budget, and especially since I am a novice, as I won’t feel so bad if I give it a scratch or two.

So why paddle boarding, you might be wondering? Two reasons: my love for water and time to be with my dogs. Yep, during the winter holidays, Norman and Oscar received the gift of life jackets! The hilarity of Norman’s apathy when he had to try it on was quite memorable; however, safety first! Needless to say, I am resigned to the reality that I will fall in from time to time – two to three moving parts on a board, there’s bound to be accidents, no? Paying that no mind, we will be doing something new and perhaps discovering a new passion.

On that note, what will you be doing as spring begins? Any new curiosities tickling your mind? I do hope you’ll give them a try. After all, it is when we stretch ourselves, make ourselves a bit uncomfortable as my yoga instructor reminded me yesterday, when we grow and take steps closer to our full potential.

Completely changing gears, I would be remiss if I didn’t shout out well wishes to Miss Carrie Bradshaw, aka as Sarah Jessica Parker as she is celebrating her 50th birthday today (March 25th). Needless to say, if this is what 50 looks like, we should all be so lucky. Why do I continually return to Ms. Parker here on the blog (here, here and here)? Here are just a few of the reasons:

she has fun with style
she can be stylish even when she’s dressing down
she follows her passion
she’s a woman of her own means

And for an extra dose of style inspiration, a few recent pics capturing SJP at work and making her way around New York City.

 ~SJP on a SUP recently shared on her Instagram @sarahjessicaparker~

~THOUGHTS FROM THE EDITOR ARCHIVES:

~I Am A Searcher, Are You?

~A Weekly Menu & Oscar’s Red Carpet

~Saying No, Breathing Space and Slowing Down

Images:(1)(2)  (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11)  (12) (13) (14) (15) (16)  (17)

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