Sandra Healing Steiner's Blog, page 79

I am Blessed

I am proud of who I am, and the path I took to get here has helped make me who I am today. Many will read this and shout “you go girl”, others will read this and send condolences.  

In May of 2013 I met a man who I thought I would grow old with and he had the same thoughts. It was an instant connection, a meeting of two souls destined to be together. By August of the same year we had wedding plans for November. Time was not an issue, finances were not an issue, our undeniable love for each other was  speaking to us both.

In November I started writing this blog, and the big day was planned.  The wedding was casual and we were surrounded by some of our close family, near the ocean, pledging our everlasting love for each other. As our first year of marriage went along, blissful moments, sometimes tense moments, and amazing memories happened for us both. In that first year my job was eliminated, I wrote and published two books and we enjoyed each other’s company whenever possible. 

By February of 2015 it became apparent that some of our ‘baggage’ from our previous lives was making our current lives difficult. Many of you are aware that at that time, I moved out on my own. That is all I’m going to say about it. I appreciate your concern, but suffice it to say that this part of my life will remain personal and private. 

  

Once again I am starting my life over. I have a million beautiful memories.  I have a fun job working at Michael Hill Jewellers in Hillside Mall in Victoria BC.  I am blessed to have connected with the Pain Program at the Jubilee hospital, where I lead a writing group and partake in many of the programs. I have a beautiful little condo with a short commute to work, I live across the street from Hillside Mall!  I have the unconditional love and constant companionship of my pups Max and Misty. Plus I have the unconditional love of my sons and grandchildren in Alberta.

 

I am creating a  beautiful life once again for myself, and like a butterfly I will fly when I’m ready. 

  

What A Day!

Have you ever noticed that when something goes wrong, the whole day seems to go wrong?  For me that was yesterday, today and hopefully NOT tomorrow!  

 

I woke up this morning thinking what a disaster yesterday had been and the bad vibes affected today.  Yesterday was one of those days that everything turned out wrong.  I refuse to let that happen again tomorrow. I am laying all the crap and wrongdoings to rest right now. They are taking up too much energy and time in my life. 

 

Tonight I watched Big Bang Theory for a few laughs. Talked to both my boys, actually young men now, via text.  Isn’t technology amazing?  The show made me giggle out loud, my wonderful sons both made me smile. I played with Max and Misty a bit.  Now they are tired and ready for bed. Yes that is her little teddy Misty is cuddling and Max is laying on his!    

   

Now I’m ready to lie down and enjoy a bit of my book before going to sleep.   My current read is Mean Streak by Sandra Brown. It is intense and thrilling just what I need to occupy my mind.

 

Trust me when I say I won’t forget the lessons of yesterday but I will leave them in my past.  

Night all!  

Managing Stress

March has been a very stressful month with my move, marriage crumbling, adult children crisis and starting a new job.  I have had more than a few moments of complete chaos.  Through it all I used a few techniques to get through my days and nights.  I wanted to share them with you. 

 

Meditation quiets my mind and reduces my stress.  It allows me to think clearly and enjoy quiet moments. I have an amazing book with meditation techniques.    It is by Thich Nhat Hanh and is called Peace is Every Step.  One of the meditation exercises included in the book is to say in your mind, “Breathe In, Breathe Out and Smile“.  Close your eyes and try it a few times, remember to breathe and smile as you say it. I found I can use this particular meditation at work even, most don’t notice I’m even doing it. 

 

I laugh.  Sounds easy, but when stress is at its highest point laughing is not usually the first thing that comes to mind. I love to watch a silly sitcom like Big Bang Theory or Friends.  They just make me smile and laugh out loud.  If I’m at work, I’m fortunate to be working in a mall and there are often tons of children doing amusing things that make me smile. Laughter reduces stress. 

 

I began working through The Artists Way by Julia Cameron.  The book was recommended to me by a therapist at the clinic I attend for Chronic Pain. I have only made it through the first part of the book, but so far I love it. The book asks that each person do morning pages.  Morning pages are simply random thoughts that are occurring in your mind.  Each morning When I wake up I write three pages of thoughts.  They are not intended to be logical, thought provoking or published, but instead they are like a mental dump of things in my head. I have found it extremely helpful to relieve my stress.  

 

I love to walk. It can be so soothing. Often I turn the ringer off on my cell phone, or better yet leave it at home and head out with my sneakers and pups. I force myself to breathe using the technique above to calm myself as I start off. I keep my mind occupied with the things I see. If it is a familiar route, I will challenge myself to see five things I did not notice last time I walked the route. It could be flowers blooming, a red door, or maybe some flowers blooming. I walk with purpose, remembering to breathe, and I smile.  

  

I hope you take a moment to apply these techniques to reduce your stress level as I have. Have an incredible, fantastic, amazing day!

 

Inspiration is all around me….

I choose to inspire myself and others. I find it comforting to be surrounded by things that make me feel good. 

 

As I scroll through my various social media  accounts I save quotes I love, or that make me feel good. I then take all these quotes and make them the screen saver for my iMac. They also appear randomly on my electronic photo frame in the living room. 

 

In my living room my favorite place to sit is my recliner. As you can see Max and Misty are usually found cuddled close by. The view from where I sit is part of my collection of inspirational books placed on the shelves with love.  The deck doors are often open with the sound of the birds in the giant spruce trees singing sweetly. It is very serene. 

 

 

The other day while at walmart, which by the way I always seem to find treasure, I came across wall stickers. They are simple flowers but when combined with picture quotes I had already they make a wonderful inspiration wall in the bathroom. The whole wall cost was nine dollars!  But, each morning as I get ready for my day the value of this inspiration is priceless. 

  

As with my simple decoration of the bathroom wall it is possible for each of us to inspire one another. Be positive.  Smile at a stranger.  Compliment each other. Just do it!  

  

Gossip and Negativity

Those of you that know me know I have an intense dislike for gossip and negativity of any kind. It is such a worthless waste of time.  I have much more important things to do with my life. 

 

I just do not understand why some people feel the need to spread rumours and lies about things they know nothing about. Is it because they have nothing better to talk about?  Maybe they want to get the center of attention? Whatever the reason those individuals will not waste my time!  

 

I work hard to have peace in my life.  I choose to discuss my ideas and thoughts with like minded people. If I have a problem with someone I discuss it with them.   If I have a problem with something I discuss it with the person who is in charge. 

I refuse to openly make negative comments about others, I feel it is a complete waste of my time and it breeds negativity.  Why is it that some people think it’s okay to openly criticize the company they work for, or their supervisor?  I don’t understand how they can believe it is a good idea to perpetuate lies and rumour. 

  

Negativity in life and in the workplace cause stress. Who in their right mind wants stress to be increased?  I don’t that’s for sure. 

I choose to be positive in every moment of my life. I find it extremely frustrating when negativity and/or gossip is shoved in my face. I have walked away, turned away, and placed myself outside of the negativity.  

  

It is true.  I am too positive to be defeated. I will continue my quest to not be affected by the negativity finding its way into my life. I refuse to give up and will remain forever positive. 

My life is in effect negativity and gossip free!  I will not tolerate it at all. 

Creating a Life I Love

Another day has begun and before I know it it will end. That’s how it seems to go. 

Have you noticed that the days seem to go faster as we grow older?  As a child I remember thinking that time was endless.  It seemed to take forever for the days to pass. I waited impatiently to be a teenager, then to finish high school, well you get the idea.  Now I rush to fit as much into each moment as possible. 

Now with time going faster, I feel pressure to do more with each moment. I think part of the difference is likely the fact that now I am trying to be more mindful.  I am in control of my success, I work hard to learn all I can, and to use that knowledge to make a difference. 

There are days where I struggle to understand what is going on in my life, and why. Sometimes there does not seem to be any logic, but I have come to understand that often these are the most powerful life lessons. 

 Back in the day, I don’t remember thinking about how I was living life.  I work hard now to do everything I can to make every moment count.  When my time is up I want to be able to say I created a life that I loved, and I want the people around me to say that I made a difference. 

 I love the song “Today I’m Gonna Try and Change the World” by Johnny Reid. Here is the first verse and chorus. 

Today I’m gonna try and change the world, Gonna take it one day at a time, I’ve made my resolution, I’ve opened up my eyes, Today I’m gonna try and change the world

I’m gonna say hello to my neighbor, Greet him with a smile, Shake the hand of a stranger, Sit and talk for a while, Tell someone I love them, From the bottom of my heart, Today I’m gonna try and change the world.

 

My mandate is to love myself and others without  judging.  To be honest to a fault.  No matter who you are I respect your decisions and believe that the truth is so important to a meaningful life. There are moments where this is difficult, but I believe it is possible. 

It is important to make sure that the truth does not cause unnecessary pain to yourself and others, but is used to promote growth. I find that I am at my best when I’m honest with myself, making sure to recognize my motives, as well as my faults. 

I am creating a life that I love and enjoy, without joy this life is nothing. I have been working hard to follow my dreams.  It is not easy to be positive, often times the most difficult obstacle is my own inner voice. I believe I can do and be anything I want.  Like most of you it is just a matter of getting past my own insecurities.  

 

As the years pass it seems the urgency to make a difference in the world becomes more prevalent. I try my best to just live my life, doing everything I can to make every moment count.  I find if I consciously watch the years go by I feel more pressure to succeed and consequently get less done. 

Today I’m going to try my best to make a difference, and that’s all I can expect.  

What Happened is Done

  

I work really hard to leave my past in the past, but it certainly is not easy. I believe that the things that have and will happen to me in this life all help make me the person I am. 

I choose to leave these moments in my past. I don’t dwell on what could be, instead I show gratitude for each of the things I learn, and move on. Some would say that this is cold hearted, but I say its survival. By allowing myself to move past I am able to continue in life. 

In my life, each and every challenge I have been faced with has helped me grow strong enough to be able to work my way through the next one. Of course there is no proof that I would react any differently without these precursor events.

   

We are who we are. It is an interesting thought that we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Have you ever paused to think about this?  Is our life prearranged?  Do we actually gave any control over what will or will not happen?  

I have thought about this idea often and I still don’t have a conclusion. When we are born is there a life map already created?  Does this map indicate our life experiences?  Our death?  Our relationships?  Perhaps it is like a novel that has options at several points, like a ‘Y’ in the road. If we go left we will have one life, if we go right we will have a different life. 

 

Within the parameters of our life we go through tough times, happy times, births, deaths, relationships and so much more. Part of what keeps us going is the support of those around us. As I said I believe we get the strength to survive these events from our past experiences. 

When offering support to those around you be your authentic self. Take the time to be there, sometimes that is the greatest gift you can give. 

As I work my way through my latest challenges I am very grateful for those who took the time to offer their support.  I choose to move forward in life, embracing the here and now, while simultaneously learning from my past experiences. 

Change is good!

Most of you know that I work at Michael Hill, an amazing jewellery store in Victoria BC. In reality I walk across the street from my condo to work, it does not get any better than that. 

The job is part time, with full time hours when they are available. I have never worked in a mall before, nor have I ever worked in retail before. My manager is an amazing young man who has advanced in the company very quickly.  He is in his mid twenties and just received his dream job, at the West Edmonton Mall  location in Edmonton AB. We will miss him terribly, but congratulate him on his promotion. 



Where is this blog going you might ask. This morning I was feeling a little down as his final shifts are approaching. I should have been happy for him, but I was missing his leadership before he even left. Reality hit later this afternoon, that I should be excited for him, and my day turned around. 



I love the customers, their stories are sometimes so heart wrenching that I have tears. Then there are the beautiful love stories of those looking for jewellery for loved ones. These too bring tears of joy for their happiness. Sometimes the situations I am put in are fraught with excitement as I hurriedly wrap surprises!  It’s an amazing job.

Over the years I have worked many different jobs.  Looking back some were so crazy, and some were amazing. I remember one of my first jobs was folding pizza boxes and shredding cheese for a local pizza joint. I was about twelve and felt so important!  As the years passed I worked in a 7-11, a hardware store, taught school, accounting offices and so much more.  Each of these jobs prepared me in some way for the next. Each helped me to hone skills that were used again and again over the years. 

What I did is really no different than my current manager is doing, gaining skills and moving on to positions where he can continue to learn and succeed. 



So tomorrow I will go in with a huge smile, a giggle, and words of congratulations as he moves on to his next challenges. 

Cherish the Past

Author Sandra Steiner takes readers through a whirlwind of struggle, loss and sacrifice in love and relationships in her new book, “Cherish the Past” (published by Trafford Publishing). This first book in the new Spring Island trilogy borrows from Steiner’s life experiences to realistically portray the loss of a child and of love.

Check it out!  http://www.prweb.com/releases/SandraSteiner/CherishthePast/prweb12592042.htm

I’m fine

Just a few moments ago an emergency air ambulance helicopter flew over my condo.  Most of you will say, “and?”  For me it puts me right back at our accident scene eleven years ago. 



Screaming. Screeching tires. The smell of blood.  Blowing snow. The steam rising in the jeep as the warm blood meets the cold air. Nightmares. The sound of ambulances and other first responders.   Are all sights, smells and sounds that trigger an involuntary response of terror within me, to the accident that I survived and my sixteen year old daughter did not, eleven years ago. This is PTSD.

Posttraumatic stress disorder[note 1](PTSD) may develop after a person is exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as major stress, sexual assault, terrorism, or other threats on a person’s life.[1] The diagnosis may be given when a group of symptoms, such as disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories of the event, and hyperarousal, continue for more than a month after the occurrence of a traumatic event.[1].   Wikipedia 



In my particular case, I was badly injured in the accident and left to manage persistent chronic pain, the loss of my daughter, PTSD, survivors guilt, migraines, joint pain, fibromyalgia and more.  With many symptoms in each of these diagnoses there is a huge variety of therapies to try. 

Over the years I have attended many different types of therapy classes to begin to learn how to manage my diagnoses as much as possible. My case, like many others, is individual to me. Given the wide variety of cases diagnosed each year it is just like many other illnesses, difficult to diagnose and a challenge to treat. I have tried many different medical approaches, treatments and medicine regimes trying to find the magic combination.  I am determined to have quality of life and will continue to seek treatment for years to come. 

From a patient perspective I want to ensure that you understand that to see me at a movie, or walking at the mall you may not notice anything is wrong with me. I have had years to perfect hiding my symptoms and try to be as normal as possible. A favourite response to questions I get is, I’m fine.  



As you go through life be compassionate, you have no idea what that person has or is going through. Be kind, caring and a good listener.