Jamie Beck's Blog, page 9

Age and Beauty

I’ll be fifty later this year. When I say that aloud, it still shocks me. I don’t feel a day over thirty-five—until I look in the mirror.

Sometimes my heart aches a little when I take stock of my thinning hair, my saggy middle (no, not the one plaguing the first draft of my current manuscript), my wrinkles and age spots. Of course, there are other things I love about being this age, most significantly my experiential wisdom. There’s nothing quite as reliable as education acquired through the school of hard knocks. It yields hard-earned knowledge, which in turn inspires a sturdy kind of confidence. The kind that awakens a different kind of beauty: the beauty of empowerment.

Copyright: michaeljung / 123RF Stock Photo

Sure, by every objective measure, I was physically prettier at twenty-five than I am today. Yet, I wouldn’t trade a tighter body (or even my thicker hair) for the self-assurance, courage, and freedom I know at this age. I’m still a daughter and a sister and a friend, but I’m also a wife and a mother. I’ve learned to persevere, to let go when I must, to grab for what I want, and to handle rejection. I’ve learned that I am not defined by the way that I look, but rather by the limits my own fears and doubts impose. That understanding makes it easier to clear away doubt when it crops up (which, of course, it still does, although with less frequency).

And what I think I’m finally accepting, despite the reflection in the mirror, is that I am more beautiful as this woman than I ever was when my muscles were taut, my hair glossy, and my skin still wrinkle-free. I hope my daughter (and other young women) learn this secret much sooner than I have, because then they can waste less time blowing out their hair and more time dedicated to the things that bring them genuine fulfillment.

xo-Jamie

 

 

Katherine’s 12 Months of Beauty–No. 3

I’M OBSESSED!

I am one of those gals that loves to be pampered, but the reality is that my daily beauty rituals are whittled down to a super-speedy routine. Then I met this little product…

Jergens Wet Skin Moisturizer allowed me to pamper myself in seconds every time I stepped into my shower. My skin felt smooth as silk from the second I put this product on, and it lasted all day. I was worried when I first bought this lotion that it would be greasy, slippery and an overall mess in the shower, but it wasn’t at all. This lotion soaks into your wet skin magically, and by the time you grab your towel to dry off, it has already evaporated. My skin looks, feels and smells amazing in seconds! I LOVE THIS PRODUCT!

I AM NOT OBSESSED

With the Maybelline New York Lip Studio Color Blur Matte Pencil. Yuck…it was dry, dull, and cakey. There is a white tip on the end that I had no idea what to do with. Was it an eraser, sponge, etc? This product did not even last one hour on my lips. It was so dry that I kept applying my lip gloss over it. I tossed it after 10 days.

This product was a bust in my book.

Next up for March…

Best Razor- Schick Hydro Silk Trim Style ($13.99 at drugstores). Reviews claim it offers a close, lasting shave (including intimate areas. #summeriscomingwinkwink.)

Best Shave Cream- Completely Bare Moisturizing No Bump Shave Gel ($8.99 at CVS). Reviews claim that the exfoliating beads means no more razor burn, nicks, or ingrown hairs.

Have you tried any of the products that I have reviewed? If so, which ones and what did you think?

XO-Katherine

The Advantages of Uncertainty

When nothing is sure, everything is possible ~ Margaret Drabble

I love the positive spin this perspective places on uncertainty, which is a state of being most of us otherwise dread.

This reminder seems especially apt at the end of a rough week in the publishing industry (and for several of my friends). Another small press (Samhain Publishing) is going to be closing its doors soon. Like many publishers, it and its authors are seeing diminishing sales as the tide of new, cheap books swells, making it hard for any book to find an audience.

Copyright: lightwise / 123RF Stock Photo

Technology has been a double-edged sword in publishing (much like in the music industry). On the one hand, it has expanded avenues for many writers, especially those lucky enough to get in at the beginning of the digital book market. Subscription services can be a boon to voracious readers (much like Netflix is for those who like television and movies). But these changes have also destabilized the market, pushing all publishers to scurry around to catch up to the changes (and try, if in vain, to predict them). In many cases, it has shifted the burden of the marketing and promotion of books (traditionally, the publisher’s job) to the author. And with so many books going live every day at rock bottom prices, it may even be devaluing books, which makes the economics of publishing unsustainable for many authors.

Yes, with all of this bad news, it is easy to be pessimistic. To abhor change and the uncertainty it creates.

But I also know that publishing is neither the first, last, nor most important industry to be affected by technology. Every sector of our economy gets hits, periodically, with uncertainty and must adapt and swim with the tide. Adopting a mindset that welcomes uncertainty instead of fearing or lamenting it seems to be a good place for anyone to start.

While I’ve been very blessed so far in my publishing journey, I know that nothing lasts forever. That more changes are sure to come. And that I cannot expect my good fortune to go on indefinitely. That undoubtedly I will hit roadblocks, and some may throw me far off-course.

However, I also cannot allow myself to dwell in a negative space. To fear that inevitable disappointment that is lurking around some corner. To worry about things beyond my control, or yearn for something that is no longer fact.

I can control the quality of my work. I can support other authors by promoting them to my friends and fans. I can have a voice within Romance Writers of America if I choose to vote or to serve. I can speak openly with my agent and publisher about my concerns, my goals, and my support needs in order to garner a “team” mentality in this otherwise very solo journey. Those are the things I can do to exercise a bit of control on these uncharted waters of the ever-changing publishing industry.

And when fear sets in, I need to remember Ms. Drabble’s quote. Change, while scary, can present opportunities. Sometimes the status quo is broken, and innovation opens the floodgates for new and improved ways of doing things. Thus, the best thing I can do is stay positive, informed, and keep working so that I am prepared when those opportunities present themselves.

That’s my plan. Wish me luck! And if you have any advice about how to approach uncertainty, please share!

xo-Jamie

Big Love in Utah

No, this isn’t a post about the former HBO series, or Mormonism, or polygamy. This is a post about the benefits of extended family vacations. My immediate family takes two per year (one ski trip with my husband’s family, and one beach trip with mine). I’ve just finished zipping up the last suitcase to prepare for our flight home after spending a week in Alta, Utah with my husband’s family (the littlest ones were already in bed before this photo was taken).

Three generations (19 people in all) came from California, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Jersey, an Pennsylvania to live under one roof. We skied, played games, held daily “inspections” of the kids’ rooms (a contest with prizes–and, shockingly, my son and his cousin won), and caught up on a myriad of the past year’s trials and tribulations.

For some, this type of vacation may sound like a nightmare. Granted, it was not particularly restful, and the volume reached a feverish pitch around the dinner table. But the minor moments of discomfort were far outweighed by the many benefits of being together.

The kids (teens included) actually put down their devices for tremendous chunks of time and skied, played chess, Scrabble, and Guesstures, and hung out conversing with the adults (gasp) in front of the fire. The eldest generation reminisced about the decades of experiences in Alta. We were all treated to fabulous meals by the staff, forcing some of us with pickier palates–gently clears throat–to try new dishes. Kids learned to manage roommate issues. Differing parenting styles had to bend in order to avoid conflict among the nine kids. Abundant exercise and inspirational views filled all the senses. Heck, I even got a bunch of snuggles from my teen daughter (who has never been the snuggling sort).

As always, at the end of this week, I feel renewed kinship with my husband’s entire family, all of whom are unique, accomplished, and fun-loving individuals. I’m also thankful to Dan and Dusty (who run the house) for helping me with more research on competitive snowboarding and backcountry skiing. Finally, I’m grateful that we all are leaving this beautiful yet potentially dangerous mountain range without injury!

If you’ve never organized a major family trip (or reunion weekend), I highly recommend it. There may be a stray tear or argument, but your heart will be bigger when you leave.

xo-Jamie

Ask Me Anything Vlogs

I’ve been having fun answering reader questions in my “Ask Me Anything” vlog series. I post these on my YouTube channel and Facebook author page, but to the extent you don’t follow those outlets, I’ve decided to post the first six here. Hope you find them a little bit interesting. Enjoy!

On second careers:

On husband jealousy:

On writer process:

On favorite authors:

On favorite characters:

On choosing a setting:

 

That’s it for now, folks. Keep the questions coming and have a great week!

xo-Jamie

 

Katherine’s 12 Months of Beauty Products, No. 2

Happy New Year, Peeps!

If you remember from my December post, I promised to spend 2016 testing the products that made the list for the People/Today Beauty Awards. I know it’s a hard job, but someone has to do it.

Here are my reviews for the first two products that I tried last month.

Best Deodorant: Dove Dry Spray Antiperspirant.

If you’re like me, when you think of a spray-on antiperspirant, you are thinking of your parents’ or grandparents’ generation. I don’t think that I’ve ever bought spray on antiperspirant. My motivation for trying this was that it promised to not leave a mark on my LBD. If there is one thing that drives me the most crazy, it is the white marks left on my clothes by my deodorant.

The Dove Spray is offered in four different scents. I really loved the clean scent of the Cool Essentials spray, which is a blend of green tea and cucumber. It’s made with ¼ Dove moisturizers to not only help keep your underarms dry but also soft and smooth. I honestly didn’t notice the soft and smooth skin but what I did notice, NO BLACK MARKS. Nothing…on anything. This was a major win for me!

I will continue to purchase this beauty item. Well done, People/Today Show.

Best Moisturizer: Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel

According to Neutrogena, this gel restores the skin’s moisture levels and imparts hydration that lasts up to twelve hours. This lightweight gel was going to keep my skin supple for hours. Hmmm… The gel was light, went on smooth, and had a very refreshing texture to it. I only used it at night and my skin didn’t feel as tight in the mornings. I have very sensitive skin, so I was concerned about breakouts, but am happy to report that I never broke out or had any skin issues from using this product.

I found that a little goes a long way so this is a product that will last through the long Connecticut winter. My only complaint was the packaging. I would have preferred to have this as a pump vs. the jar. Better for travel and not as bulky. Overall, another win for me. I will continue to use this product and am interested to see how my skin feels in the summer months while using this.

So what’s up next?

Best Matte Lip: Maybelline New York Lip Studio Color Blur Matte Pencil.

For those of you who know me, I am a stickler for having something on your lips! This product promises to be ultra-saturated, creamy and lasting. I can’t wait to try it.

Best In Shower Body lotion: Jergens Wet Skin Moisturizer.

With the heat on constantly in my house and the cold weather outside, I am a little itchy at night and my daily lotion isn’t doing the trick. According to People/Today, this product is a “game changer.” Use it before you step out of the shower and it absorbs before you have time to grab the towel.

Have you tried any of these products?

XO-Katherine

 

 

 

 

Daydream Believers

I’m prone to engaging in a fair amount of daydreaming. Sometimes I imagine I have a green thumb and that, when I open my front door, I’ll step into a yard that resembles this one:

Other times, I will stare out my window on a dreary day and pretend I’m bound for some exotic or breathtaking location such as this:

Once in a while, I try to will my husband to become a wild romantic whose sole goal is to surprise me by conjuring up an idyllic evening set someplace warm and inviting like this table for two:

For the most part, these daydreams are harmless. They offer a temporary respite from the mundane matters of daily life. In those “lost” moments, I experience a tiny thrill, a feeling of hopefulness, and even, at times, a bit of inspiration. I also believe that these daydreams can become the foundation upon which real goals are built. Once you’ve visualized the fantasy, your mind automatically begins to think of the to-do list needed to make it happen. Goal + Plan = Reality, right?

The only time my daydreams can turn sour are when they are truly impossible, such as when I’m having a particularly bad “female pattern hair loss” day and wish I’d wake up with hair like this!My husband, on the other hand, is not one to daydream. He doesn’t see the point, and thinks it almost counter-productive. My daughter appears to take after him, too, because she never has an answer for any of my “If you could go/do/be….” questions. Fortunately, my son will play that game with me. In fact, he daydreams even more often than I do, which could become problematic in a different way.

Do you like to fantasize, or do you consider that a “waste of time?”

xo-Jamie

Bad Book vs. Bad Fit

One thing most authors stress about is book reviews: getting them, liking them, ignoring them, and of course, those pesky Goodreads ratings that show up before early review copies of the book have even been made available to anyone!

For those who don’t know, the number of reviews a particular book receives on Amazon is a critical factor in the algorithms that determine how visible that book will be on that site. Authors hope to see a lot of reviews go up quickly, especially if they are positive. But we also watch for book blog reviews (large and small), and finally, the trade journals (Kirkus, Library Journal, Publisher’s Weekly, Booklist, RT Magazine, and so on). These latter reviews are the ones from which authors obtain pull quotes to place on their websites or in the “Praise” sections of their future books.

We all celebrate and share the good ones, but inevitably (at least for me) there are the clunkers, too. Whether given by an anonymous Amazon reader, a popular blogger, or a trade journal, they can sting and create an enormous amount of self-doubt. On the other hand, they can also provide some insight into a writing element we might need to work on in that next book. I try, after two or three days of serious sulking, to learn something from any bad review I receive. I suppose it is up to future readers to determine whether I succeed!

But this all leads me to the real question: what defines a “bad” book?

I think we all know that there are genuinely “bad” books out there (poorly written, unedited or poorly edited, no sense of story and character arc, and so on). But what of the other books–the ones that have been vetted by an agent and revised with guidance from an experienced editor? How do some of those novels end up with really negative reviews?

I’ve given this a lot of thought, and my conclusion is quite simply that these review grades are wrong. I’m not suggesting that the reviewer didn’t dislike it, or that s/he didn’t have a right to give it a “hot steaming pile” review. But the fact that s/he hated it doesn’t necessarily make it bad. The reality is that it was probably more of a “bad fit” of a particular book with a particular reviewer.

To support my conclusion, I’ll recount last night’s dinner with two other authors. We were sharing thoughts about some of our favorite books within the contemporary and historical romance genres. Needless to say, sometimes we all agreed, but often a book beloved by one would be despised by another.

One reader may love a formal writing voice while another finds it pompous. Also, personal biases come into play with plot elements. For example, I do not like stories where either main character is engaged in an affair. I also can’t stand heroines who’ve hidden a baby from the hero (I can’t accept any justification for this aside from abuse, so I can never understand why a hero would trust her or fall in love with her AFTER such a betrayal). I also don’t love an aggressively snarky heroine because, to me, she comes across as a woman with a massive chip on her shoulder, and I end up shouting “Grow the F Up” at my iPad. Stories with any of these elements are likely to get an unflattering review from me if I finish it.

There are also reviews that laud a “strong” heroine (which heroine may, for another reader, be perceived as nasty or unfeeling), or criticize a “weak” heroine (whom someone else may admire for her well-intentioned self-sacrifice). Same goes for heroes. I typically find the overly domineering alpha hero to be offensive, but the popularity of the billionaire BDSM books proves I’m in the minority.

Thus, while there are certainly stories that are universally beloved with good reason (dynamic characters, exceptional pacing and tension, the perfect payoff), the great majority of perfectly good books are still going to end up with some negative reviews.

What does this mean for readers who use reviews to make purchase decisions? Two things. First, authors and readers alike should pay more attention to the content of the review than the grade, because what some dislike, others may adore. Second, when you find a reviewer who seems to share your taste, follow that reviewer’s future reviews to help find new books you might enjoy.

Do you agree with my conclusions? What personal biases or preferences do you think color your reaction to a story?

XO-Jamie

Temptation’s Silver Lining

Another new year, another round of resolutions. I’m not even going to list them because, if history predicts the future, chances are good that I won’t keep them for more than about five months. *sighs* Temptation–to eat that sweet, to nap instead of hitting the gym, to watch TV instead of purging the closets–usually wins out. Although I hate to admit it, I am weak! There, I said it, and I’m not going to skulk away in shame.

All kidding aside, I do spend a lot of time thinking about temptation. Polite society tends to cast it in a bad light, making it a boogeyman that steers a corrupt person off course. But as a writer, temptation has a purpose: it is a material part of the push-pull of any good character arc. The more direct the conflict between what a character believes is right and what s/he wants, the better the story tension, and the faster a reader should want to turn those pages.

Sometimes I’ll use a story to tease out my position on a personal conflict, other times I’ll borrow from a friend’s or relative’s experience. In all cases, exploring every side of an issue/argument is my favorite part of building any character and any story.

It isn’t always pretty, and my characters aren’t always “heroic.” That’s intentional. Frankly, most of us mere mortals are flawed and make bad choices now and then. We hurt others, we self-preserve, we justify.

What I love about writing is trying to take a flawed character and redeem him or her. I think such a character’s journey to redemption is irresistible to we flawed readers because, if he or she can acknowledge a mistake and do better–can earn forgiveness, love, and respect after a major misstep–than so can we.

When viewed in this way, temptation serves a vital function in fiction and in personal growth.

Do you feel the same, or do you view temptation in black-and-white terms and become unable to root for a character who has crossed that line?

XO-

Jamie

Party Time

My favorite childhood memories of Christmas have nothing to do with presents and Santa, and everything to do with the parties. I grew up on the same street with three sets of cousins and one set of grandparents (all on my Italian father’s side of the family). My mother’s family all lived within five miles (and she had 100 cousins, so I’m talking about a lot of people).

Beginning mid-day Christmas Eve day and continuing through Christmas night, the holiday was one endless party trail as we traveled to several houses, played with cousins, ate too many cookies, and sat down to a few good meals. All the grown-ups were too busy drinking and visiting to pay much attention to us kids, so we enjoyed unbridled freedom, which is probably why the memories are so good!

Really bad selfie!

Now I live in Connecticut, away from most of my family. However, ironically, one of those cousins from the old ‘hood lives in my town, as does my best friend from high school, so I can recreate a little bit a of that family feeling for my kids. For a few years, I’ve hosted a small get-together on December 23rd. This year, we decided to open it up a bit and invite about ten families. I had so much fun (as did the kids), next year I’m determined to make it even bigger. The only downside is, as a grown-up, I’m stuck with the clean-up, too. But it is well worth it.

Mom and my Hubby

Hope you enjoy the few photos (that’s my mom dressed like a Nutcracker) of our little event. Do you have or attend holiday parties, or do you prefer to keep things quiet?

MERRY CHRISTMAS, and best wishes for a happy, healthy new year.

PS  My newsletter will be going out in early January, so if you want a sneak peek at Worth the Trouble, a chance to win an early review copy, and to vote on the charity I’ll be donating some of the sales proceeds to, please make sure you are signed up. It’s a two-step process, so make sure to respond to the verification email!

XO-Jamie