Jamie Beck's Blog, page 10

Kick-off: 12 Months of Beauty Products

Hey, gang, Katherine is back with a new monthly feature! Take it away, K:

While humming “The Twelve Days of Christmas” and reading People Magazine last weekend, I ran across People/Today Beauty Awards for 2015. Every year since I was fifteen, I have ripped pages out of magazines with the promise of trying all of the tried-and-true beauty products. You know, all the “ Best of the Best” makeup, hair products, skin products, etc. I typically try one or two, but inevitably my list ends up in the trash by April.

This year I have decided to commit to the list by trying one or two new products each month and then reporting back to you. Are these really a game changer in beauty? This is my New Years resolution!

Here are my first selections for 2016.

Dove Dry Spray Antiperspirant

This promises a superfine mist that dries instantly, endless hours of freshness, and no white marks on your clothes (a huge pet peeve of mine.)

Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel

Neutrogena promises that this mega-moisturizer–packed with hyaluronic acid–is a lightweight gel that keeps skin moisturized for hours.

I picked both products up at our local Target and READY..SET..HERE I GO!

Look for an update from me in mid-January. In the meantime, if you’ve tried one of these products, let me know what you thought! Or simply add a suggestion to my list. By the end of the year, we’ll all know the fact from fiction when it comes to these products.

xo-Katherine

The Romance of Research

Let’s go back to high school for a moment. Remember the dread that descended whenever you were assigned a major research project? Perhaps we differ, but I did not enjoy reading, categorizing, and analyzing the volumes of information those assignments required.

Funny how things change with age!

To the casual reader, it might not seem like a romance writer would have to research much of anything. After all, don’t we all have experience with yearning, heartache, and love? Yet research is necessary to tell any good story, including a romance.

For example, last year while plotting Worth the Trouble (coming Feb. 23, 2016), I met with Tom Throop of Black Creek Designs to learn about the handmade furniture business. Similarly, I’m currently plotting the third book in my Sterling Canyon series (2017 release), which involves a two more professions I’m unfamiliar with (competitive snowboarding and documentary filmmaking). Unfortunately, my trusty assistant—Google—could only take me so far. After stalking some folks on Twitter and such, I did find two people willing to help me: former competitive snowboarder Brock Butterfield, and documentary filmmaker Megan Smith-Harris.

Not only does personal research give me the fact set I need to create authentic plot points, but it also provides a rich vein of data for character development.

For example, Brock—a former freeride snowboarding competitor—not only provided me with technical information about the competitions, but also gave me an inside look at the internal conflict and obstacles a competitive snowboarder might face. Similarly, Megan—a longtime documentary producer/director—taught me rudimentary filmmaking fundamentals and lingo, and also helped me flesh out material and potential conflict for supporting characters in my book.

Best of all, doing this research introduces me to people whose lives vary greatly from my own, thereby broadening my perspective (which can only help my writing). I usually experience a little envy after each interview, and waste more than a few hours fantasizing about what it would be like to live those other lives.

There’s no doubt that the meat of a romance novel is the couple’s emotional and psychological journey, which does not require much research. But to write a layered story with a credible plot and engaging secondary characters, research is not only critical, but also—SURPRISE!–fun.

What topic or career would you like to learn more about, and why?

xo-Jamie

If you’re interested in following Brock’s adventures, check out his blog. And if you’re curious about Megan’s inspirational films, check out The Buddy System and Trial by Fire.

Six Ways to Enliven Thanksgiving

It’s that time again, my favorite holiday of the year. No gifts, no jingles–just good food, friends, and family all together at a table. Of course, the holiday can be a lot of work (especially for the host), which can rob the day of some of its joy. Here are six ideas to put the fun and “thanks” back into the celebration:

Bring a Friend. Do you know someone who is single and has no place to go (maybe they are recently divorced and the other spouse gets the kids, or maybe they have a work commitment that prevents them from traveling home for the holiday)? Invite them to join you and yours. Not only will it brighten their day, but it’ll make you feel great, too. And sometimes adding a new face to an old crowd can take the conversation in new directions from which everyone walks away wiser.

Donate Food. The abundance of food on my mother’s table might be deemed obscene by some. Although my family does an amazing job at making sure none of it go to waste, it does make one stop to think about the many families in our country who are hungry. Thanksgiving week is a great time to donate food, whether to a food bank, local homeless shelter, or neighborhood family who is down on their luck. One bonus of taking a minute to be thankful and think of others is that it helps alleviate the guilt of that second helping of turkey and gravy.

Share Recipes.  Encourage your guests to bring multiple copies of their favorite holiday recipe. Collect the cards at the beginning of the afternoon and make little “gift bundles” for each guest. When they get home, they’ll have a reminder of their nice afternoon, and a bunch of new recipes to try.

Show Gratitude. Between dinner and dessert, have everyone at the table name one thing s/he was especially grateful for during the past year. Not only is this a nice way to reflect on one’s good fortune, but it is also a way to learn more about everyone you love.

Party Punch.  Have fun drinks available for all ages. Little kids like to feel part of the party, too, so make a colorful, alcohol free punch for them and serve it with fancy umbrellas or little fruit kebobs. The awe and laughter of kids always makes any family event more festive, and this little touch is sure to please.

Move it!  Get everyone outside for a bit. Whether you take a post-dinner walk to help with digestion, or simply light up a fire pit and gather outside for a hot drink, the cool November air will awaken the senses, as will a change of venue.

Whether you take any of these suggestions to heart, or simply enjoy the traditions you’ve established over the years, I wish you and yours a very lovely Thanksgiving holiday. Drive safely!

XO-Jamie

A Test of Freedom

[C]ourage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. ~ Nelson Mandela

In the wake of the recent terrorist attacks in Paris, we’ve witnessed an outpouring of support, empathy, and concern for the French people, as well as another round of sorrow and fear gripping the hearts of those of us living in the free world.

When these terrorists strike and kill, they win a battle. But they cannot win the greater war unless we allow our fear to turn us against the very freedom we claim to value.

I worry when I see people take to social media and propose that our governments take radical steps and Constitutional shortcuts to protect us and to defeat the enemy.

If we collectively sanction infringing upon the rights we value—rights that are, in fact, woven into our daily way of life—what have we won? I’d argue we’ve won nothing (not even the security we’re seeking) and, in fact, have lost more than just a battle. If we give in to fear and roll over our rights, then the terrorists succeed in robbing us of the very freedom that gives us our voice and our collective power.

I think it’s unrealistic to expect freedom from terror or war. No civilization in history has ever truly enjoyed that. No decade has ever been devoid of a war somewhere in the world. Violence is, unfortunately, a part of human nature, of culture, of history, and of power. And the truth is that none of us knows how and when our time will end. Statistically I’m still much more likely to die in a car crash or of an illness than I am as the victim of a horrific terrorist attack. Those are the cold, hard truths of life, so I choose to try to live mine with honor and integrity, surrounded by people I love, and pursuing the things in life that matter to me.

I am not smart or educated enough to offer a single solution to the complex and frightening puzzle of terrorism. I do not pretend we can negotiate with fanatics to resolve the problem. I believe it will take decisive, forceful action undertaken collectively by every government that values the lives of its citizenry in order to make any progress. And I believe we, as a society, must be courageous enough to move forward without sacrificing the very rights that make our nation what it has always been: the land of the free, and the home of the brave.

XO-Jamie

Weddings–Near and Far

La Cana Golf & Beach Club

As some of you know, I just returned from a week-long vacation with six of my friends. We escaped the fall weather by traveling to the lush tropical paradise of Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. Of course, we could have been holed up in a tornado bunker in Kansas and still had a great time together, but the DR proved to be infinitely more beautiful and relaxing.

We expected white sands and clear, turquoise-colored water, palm trees and plenty of rum punch. But one thing we didn’t expect was to run into wedding receptions everywhere we went. Whether at the beach club, a restaurant in downtown Punta Cana, or brunch at the Tortuga Bay hotel, we kept crossing paths with wedding parties. We swooned a bit at the romance of it all despite the fact that the seven of us–married a combined total of 110 years–were all carousing around the island without our husbands!

But that’s beside the point.

Seeing these weddings prompted a conversation about destination versus hometown weddings. Some of my friends were firmly in favor of local weddings. They preferred to invite large groups of friends and family and spare guests the costs associated with traveling too far. Some were willing to make an exception to the hometown wedding provided the destination held special meaning to the couple (they met there or got engaged there, or something like that).

Having planned my own wedding in Italy and attended several other destination weddings (Florida, Aruba, Vermont), I argued in favor of the intimate yet exotic destination wedding. Personally, I preferred a small affair over hundreds of guests, half of whom–like parents’ colleagues and distant relatives–I probably wouldn’t have known. And as a guest, I’ve always turned a destination wedding invitation into a mini-vacation, so that made the extra cost worthwhile.

But in the end the most important element of any wedding has nothing to do with its location. It doesn’t even have to do with the guests, the dress, the cake, or the music. All that truly matters is that the bride and groom come together and make a commitment to love and honor each other until the end of their days. That HEA is not just for romance novels, after all.

Where was the last wedding you attended?

XO-Jamie

 

 

 

 

Favorite Fall TV Shows

One of my favorite things about fall is the return of television dramas! Granted, there aren’t as many these days thanks to reality TV competition shows and one thousand versions of NCIS, but still, there are a few.

My favorite? Well, I have several because each hits a different yet equally important entertainment note for me.

Let’s start with straight-up high stakes drama that mingles career gamesmanship with friend and family dilemmas. If you’re looking for these kinds of stories, I don’t think another show is as well written and acted as The Good Wife. I’m not even sure what season its in (7?), but the characters are so well-rounded and layered (as are the story lines), I hope it continues for some time to come. I’m still mourning Will’s death, but so far this season is proving to be interesting. And the new investigator is easy on the eyes, too!

Then there is the all-out fun melodrama of Nashville. Holy cow, this show makes me smile, tap my foot, get pissed off, and it can also be quite sexy at times. I don’t even love country music, but as a life-long lover of soap operas, this show takes me back to the days of Dallas and Knots Landing. Lately, anything that makes me feel young again is a good thing!

Ok, so we’ve covered serious drama and the over-the-top kind, so let’s turn to the terrifying! No, I’m not talking about American Horror Story, I’m talking about Homeland. I know, I know…this show gets its fair share of criticism for being unrealistic. But guess what? I don’t care. I don’t watch fictional shows for accuracy (I’d watch the History Channel for that). If it seems plausible and is well acted, it’s good enough for me. The early seasons of this show were ‘edge of my seat’ nerve-wracking. I think it lost its way a bit in season 3, but 4 was awesome, and as far I can tell, season 5 is building toward something shocking. Meanwhile, I’ve waited years for Carrie and Quinn to get together. We got this kiss at the end of last season, but then they were split apart. I’m hoping that situation is rectified by the end of this season.

Finally, the “comfort food” of TV drama, Grey’s Anatomy. How many years has this show aired? I think this is its 12th season. Say what you will about that, but nothing lasts 12 seasons because it sucks. I have no idea how the show will finally end, but I hope (fingers crossed) that it ends with Meredith and Alex together. If McDreamy were alive, I’d never want it, but with him gone, I think there is something special–something beyond friendship–with the two damaged souls that are Meredith and Alex. We’ll see if I get what I want.

What’s one of your favorite shows, and why do you love it?

XO-Jamie

Riding Life’s Highs and Lows

Last night I finally saw the much-acclaimed movie, Whiplash, which is based on the real-life story of an ambitious jazz student. This kid’s determination in the face of obstacles at home and in class is astounding. Despite disliking him at times for his single-mindedness and arrogance, I couldn’t help but admire his commitment and burning desire to be the best. The film’s climax is simultaneously painful and breathtakingly awesome, leaving me exhausted yet moved and motivated.

They say things come to you when you need them, which is why I think fate had something to do with my husband choosing that movie to watch.

We’ve all experienced the sting of working hard and wanting something very badly but then failing to reach our goal. Whether it’s the test you studied for and still did poorly, the varsity team you didn’t make, the promotion that went to another, or the dreaded negative book review, these events punch our guts, testing our confidence and resilience.

I’d like to claim that criticism rolls off me, but that would be a lie. Whether it’s professional or personal in nature, it usually takes me a couple of days to regroup, and another one to recommit and learn from my mistakes (hopefully to come back even stronger).

The “mean teacher” in Whiplash believes the worst two words in the English language are “good job.” From his perspective, those words kill potential greatness because, when excellence isn’t demanded, people won’t push beyond what they think possible. Conversely, those who are devoted will meet criticism and challenge by picking themselves up, working harder, stretching further, and eventually surpassing all expectations.

I’m not sure yet whether or not I fully subscribe to the teacher’s extreme philosophy, although I lean in its direction.

One thing that helps me when in the midst of a struggle or crisis of confidence is to remember that everything is temporary and rests on a continuum. Every person’s life is comprised of successes and failures, and part of the point of it all is to enjoy the journey. To celebrate the triumphs. To learn from the disappointments. To grow. And most importantly, to get oneself back up on that horse and keep riding.

At the very least, we parents can use our own setbacks to teach our children how to dig deep, keep the faith, and come back fighting. That’s a win in and of itself.

P.S.  What do you think of the teacher’s philosophy (does harsh criticism or moderate praise ultimately yield the best result)?

XO-Jamie

3 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me

It’s nine o’clock on a Sunday night. The rest of my family is already in bed. One’s asleep, one is doing extra credit (or, more likely, FaceTiming with her boyfriend), and my husband is reading. By ten, all of the lights in our house will be off except for the one in my office and the glow from my computer screen.

Why? Because one thing you may not know about me is that I operate on very little sleep. Not by choice, mind you. Prior to having kids, I routinely got seven or eight solid hours of sleep per night. But throughout the past fifteen years, I’ve been lucky if I’ve averaged five per night. “They” say that creativity is enhanced when a person is a bit tired, and I know a lot of writers who do their best work at the midnight hour, so I’m trying to embrace my altered body clock as a perverted blessing.

Another thing you didn’t know about me? I’m afraid of heights. Didn’t used to be, though. I used to rock climb and rappel with relative ease. Giant Ferris wheel? No problem. I could look over the steep edge of a cliff without feeling pulled into the abyss, but no more. Now I can barely stomach watching my kids stand on the balcony of a high-rise apartment without physically feeling anxious and ill. Why? you might ask. I wish I knew. If you know of a cure, please share!

Finally, I have a horrible case of wanderlust. Actually, it’s worse than merely wanting to travel. I actually fantasize about moving to new places all the time. If I didn’t have to worry about anyone but myself, I could envision moving about every two years. Some places I’d love to “try on” for a while: Aspen, Lake Tahoe, Sonoma, Vancouver, Chicago, Maine, England, Italy, and Spain. I hear Montreal is quite lovely, too, although I’ve never been. I’d also love to live in a variety of different types of homes: the condo, the log cabin, the quaint farmhouse, the Mediterranean villa, the English cottage. Of course, I doubt I’ll ever call any of these places home. Still, I love looking at photos and dreaming about what life is like in those settings. And as we readers know, the imagination is a fairly powerful escape, so that is where I’ll likely “live” most of the time.

So now, please tell me something quirky about yourself. Anything at all!

XO-Jamie

 

 

Celebrations

It’s here, it’s here! The release of Accidentally Hers is finally here. Time for a festive get-together with cake, and maybe a little champagne, right? Yes, tonight is a time to celebrate, and that’s what I plan to do. But I won’t be celebrating the release of my latest book.

“Why not?” you might ask.

Because tonight I’ll be celebrating something far more enduring and important. Tonight is all about friendship.

Copyright: rawpixel / 123RF Stock Photo

I’m fortunate to have a tight group of friends here in my hometown, several of whom have birthdays in September and October. Tonight we’re getting together at a fabulous local restaurant, The Farmer’s Table, to wish each other good health and fortune for the upcoming year.

I really couldn’t imagine my life without these women. They’ve seen me through many years of highs and lows. They accept me as I am, and let me tell you, my package contains a healthy dose of flaws. They help me keep perspective. They root for my children’s successes. They are often the calm in the storm.

Lately I’ve grown close to a second set of women thanks to this second career (see the symmetry there?). The writers I’ve met in the past five years have been not only generous with time and advice, but passionate about some of the same things I love. It’s a gift to be able to collaborate with them. To support them. To laugh and share pictures of really cute “heroes” with them! I just returned from a mini-retreat weekend with a handful of these MTBs (most trusted bit@hes) and feel completely reinvigorated and unblocked. So, although they won’t be sitting at the table with me tonight, they will be there in spirit.

Perhaps it’s fitting that I am celebrating friendship on the same day that this book releases, seeing that friendship is one theme of the story. Whether it is the heroine (Avery’s) friendship with Kelsey and Emma, the hero Grey’s with his buddy Trip, or Grey and Avery’s friendship-turned-love affair, the importance and challenges of those bonds are ever-present.

If it’s been a while since you’ve organized a friendly celebration of any sort, what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone and make some plans!

XO-Jamie

Romance 2.0

I’m feeling whimsical today. Maybe it’s because of the perfectly sunny fall day. Or maybe it’s thanks to that last Tate’s chocolate chip and walnut cookie I just ate. Or maybe the upcoming release of Accidentally Hers has me focusing on romance.

I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter. The point is I’ve got romance on the brain today, so I might as well be productive about it.

As a woman who has been in the same relationship for twenty years and counting, I know how it can sometimes feel like there aren’t any surprises left. If there are things I don’t know about my husband, it’s because he’s hiding them, right?

Well, maybe not, actually.

When I step back and think of it, we’ve both changed a lot over the years. Sure, we’ve been together for those growth cycles, but I can’t say we’ve always discussed them in detail, or that I know he who really is now as opposed to who he was when we married. Honestly, who has time for philosophical discussions when one is stuck in the middle (of life, of careers, between needy kids and aging parents)?

With so many important matters vying for one’s attention, relationships often get shoved to the bottom of the to-do list, and you talk less and less about non-essential things. But those dreamy, non-essential things are precisely what people spend so much time discovering about in the beginning of any relationship. What if that on-going dialogue is the key to keeping a relationship fresh?

With this idea in mind, I thought it would be fun to make a short list of little things anyone can do to boost his/her real-life romance and renew intimacy:

Daydream together (what if we won the lottery, where would you most love to retire, if you could be granted one wish, who’s your current real-life hero…). You know, just make it fun and see where the conversation leads.
Give your undivided attention to your partner when you ask about his/her day. I mean it! Look him/her in the eye and really listen.
Hold hands while driving/riding in the car.
Make a list of your partner’s best/most admirable traits and surprise them with it.
Ask him/her what you can do to make their day better.
Make his/her favorite dinner on the weekend, when everyone can relax and enjoy it.
Send a sexy text (no, not a “sext” pic) in the middle of the day to set the mood for later that night.
Make a list of relationship goals (be specific, like twice-a-month date nights, one weekend per year road trip, and so on).
Let each person choose a movie (in my house that would be heavy drama for me and anything with Will Ferrell for my husband) and then watch them each together (no complaining allowed…or at least keep the eye-rolling to a minimum).
Role reversal! Basically, walk in the other person’s shoes for a day. Cooking, laundry, yard work, whatever. Get an appreciation for what your partner contributes to making life a little easier in the household and talk about it later.

Hopefully these little efforts will yield big payoffs in the romance department. And don’t be shy. If you’ve got an idea to share with the rest of us, please do so in the comments!

XO-Jamie