Jamie Beck's Blog, page 12

Resilience in Parenting

As a mother, I make many parenting choices every day. Some are relatively minor, like what kinds of groceries to stock. Others, like when to give your kid enough rope to hang him or herself, require more thought and impose bigger risks. For me the most difficult challenge is handling the uncertainty–the not knowing whether I’ve made the right choice until it’s too late to reverse course.

This semester has been a real test. For the first time, my middle-schoolers both decided to prioritize their social lives over academics. My husband and I made the conscious decision to buck our natures (and the New England trend) and let the kids’ grades flounder. Our rationale? Middle school would be a better place for them to stumble and fall (and learn the consequences of their actions) than high school.

Well, we’ve stumbled, fallen, and are getting up a bit bruised. I’ll admit, I feel a bit depressed and torn about the parenting choices we made. IF, next year, the setbacks motivate them to work harder and strike a better balance among their various interests, it may have been worth it. However, if the defeat causes them to give up instead of motivating them to “overcome” the setbacks, then my husband and I have failed terribly.

In the great scheme of our lives, rationally I know these are relatively common and minor issues we’re dealing with compared with many parents. Still, no parent likes to watch their kid struggle. I think the reason it’s extremely difficult to stand aside and make them find their own solutions is that we can’t “see” the outcome and “know” all will be well. We can only hope, pray, encourage, and lead by example.

In the meantime, like my kids, I, too, need to dig deep and find my own resiliency so I can live to parent another day!

Whether you choose to micro-manage your teens’ lives or hand them the reigns, how do you handle a setback (drinking lots of wine is NOT an acceptable answer–LOL)?

xo-Jamie

 

 

Summer Romance Reading List

Although the summer solstice doesn’t occur for a few more weeks, with the passing of Memorial Day weekend, most people consider summer to have already begun (me included). Those who know me well know that I’m not a fan of hot weather. I prefer dry, crisp fall weather above all other. However, what I do love about summer is the way everyone slows down a bit. This is especially important now that I live in the Northeast, where the normal pace of things is warp speed.

One of the best ways to slow time (and to vacation without actually going anywhere) is to pick up a book and be transported to another time and place (and, depending on your reading tastes, maybe even another world).

My TBR (to be read) pile continues to grow, but I thought I’d share some of the books on my pile (as well as a few recently finished books) just in case you are looking for a little romance reading for your next weekend by the shore.

Here goes:

Recently read:

The Escape, by Mary Balogh (historical romance).  Fabulous. She is always very good, but this book (these characters) really resonated with me (it was released last summer, so I don’t know how I missed it!). Ben is a wounded war veteran and Samantha a young widow. Their relationship develops steadily and surely–beautifully–from hate-at-first-sight to deep love and respect.

Four Nights with a Duke, by Eloisa James (historical romance). Very pleasant read. This is a marriage-of-convenience (blackmail) trope, but a well-done one. Mia and Vander are interesting, likable characters for the most part, and there was something fun about this story. I particularly enjoyed the way Vander engaged with Mia’s nephew.

Dearest Rogue, by Elizabeth Hoyt (historical romance). Another very good read. I have liked Trevillion and Phoebe in supporting roles in former books, so I was eager to read this story. I absolutely adored the hero (uptight and repressed as he is) and Phoebe is a lovely heroine (blind, which made it interesting, because the author has you experience the other senses of this character when in her POV). My only quibble was with the ending of the story, which seemed rather abrupt and unsatisfying (the resolution of the external conflict/kidnapping plots). Still, I loved it.

Bachelorette for Sale, by Gail Chianese (contemporary romance). I received an advanced reader copy of this upcoming debut (releases June 23). I found this to be sweet (Cherry “Bear” and her grandparents, in particular, tickled me), sassy, and fun all rolled into one. Cherry has been through the ringer in more ways than one, so you are happy to see her end up with a good guy. Jason is a sexy hero, too…so that always helps!

It Had to Be Him, by Tamra Baumann (contemporary romance). I also recommend this razor sharp romantic comedy. Unlike the preceding book, this one is intentionally “over the top” in its fictional small town setting and some of the extreme personalities (the grandmother, for example), all of which add a heavy dose of humor to the romance. Josh is a hero worth rooting for and Meg (Muck) is a spunky, unique heroine.

The Truth About Love, by Sheila Athens (contemporary romance). This is a more serious-minded romance, wherein the heroine is working to free who she believes to be a wrongly convicted murderer, who happens to the man the hero “witnessed” at the scene of his mother’s murder. The characters are both believable and likable, and their ethical struggles are interesting to consider.

To Be Read Pile:

Triple Time, by Regina Kyle (contemporary romance). This is the second book in her Art of Seduction series (HQ Blaze). I really enjoyed the first book (Triple Threat), and am looking forward to this next installment.

No Better Man, by Sara Richardson (contemporary romance). I received an ARC in a contest, but have not found the time to squeeze it in yet. However, this book just released last week and the reviews look great, so it will remain near the top of my list.

Art of Sinning, by Sabrina Jeffries (historical romance). I actually have just started this book (another ARC), so we shall see how it goes. More to come…

A Curvy Girl for the Cadet, by Sugar Jamison (contemporary romance). Sugar writes sassy contemporary romances, so I look forward to getting around to this one as well.

This Thing Called Love, by Miranda Liasson (contemporary romance).  I like the premise (ambitious career girl gets sucked by to small hometown to become guardian of her deceased sister’s infant daughter, and reconnects with former flame, who is also niece’s uncle), and it’s racking up the reviews!

The Last Time I Saw Her, by Karen Robards (paranormal romantic suspense). I’ve been reading all the books in this series, and the year-long wait between just kills me. This one doesn’t come out until August, but I will read it the minute it downloads. There are some elements of this series that have become a bit repetitive (the heroine’s waffling), but I adore the ghostly hero (“convicted” serial killer), Michael, and can’t wait for what I think will be the final book in this paranormal romantic suspense.

If You Only Knew, by Kristan Higgins (women’s fiction). This is the NYT best selling romance author’s ‘debut’ in women’s fiction, so perhaps it doesn’t belong on a “romance” reading list. But I suspect there will be some kind of romantic subplot, given her contemporary romance history! It comes out in August, too.

So, are there any summer romance reading recommendations you can offer to me (or other readers here on the blog)?

XO- Jamie

Investing in Relationships

The old adage “you get what you give” can be applied to many things, but most especially to relationships. It’s usually pretty easy to identify when you feel like someone has let you down or isn’t giving you enough attention and support. But how often do you step back and ask how you might be neglecting those who are important to you?

People who know me well would likely agree that I’m an initiator. I plan lunches, getaways, parties, and pretty much look for any opportunity to connect with friends and family.

Of course, life happens and sometimes one truly can’t follow-through on a commitment to catch up with a friend. But rarely will I decline a social invitation because of being “too busy.”  Honestly, like all middle-aged women, I am very busy with my family and career.  Yet investing time in friendships is critical to my sanity and happiness.

In the decades since my youth, I’ve noticed how fragmented society has become. Extended families no longer live in the same town and only infrequently get together. Friends move in and out of neighborhoods within a few years, making it difficult to maintain a deep level of connectedness. People (including me) tend to rely on social media and texts instead of phone calls and drop-ins to keep in touch.

I haven’t found the perfect balance, but I know one thing with certainty. I don’t want to wake up five or ten years from now–once my kids are out of college and on their own–only to realize I don’t have any close friends or family members left because I’ve neglected them along the way.

Toward that end, I’m looking forward to spending Memorial Day in Vermont with my husband’s family and then taking a weekend trip to a lake house in the Catskills with some gal pals in early June. I’ve also planned two major family vacations this summer with various members of my own extended family. And while I look forward to the workshops at the National RWA convention in July, I want to also take time to get together socially with some of the writers with whom I’m in constant “virtual” communication throughout the rest of the year.

In addition to those big plans, I’m going to reinstate my weekly lunch dates. I’ve let the winter doldrums and my writing deadlines interfere, but now I’m inspired to get out and rotate through my various friends for lunch dates in the coming weeks.

Am I alone, or have you also let potentially precious moments slip through your fingers because you’re overwhelmed by your to-do list?

xo-Jamie

Mother’s Day…Still A Daughter

A son is a son ’til he marries his wife, a daughter’s a daughter for the rest of her life.  

I don’t know where that saying originated, by it’s something my parents repeated often throughout the years. When I survey my close friends about which of their siblings tend to “check in” and devote time to their parents, it does skew toward the women. Of course, there are some exceptions, but it seems evident that there is a little truth behind this little nugget of wisdom.

Mom and me

Why am I talking about this, and what on earth does it have to do with Mother’s Day? I suppose  because, as Mother’s Day approaches, I realize I still view this holiday from a “daughter’s” perspective instead of celebrating my own motherhood. Part of that may be because I don’t generally like being the center of attention, and the other part could be that I’ve been a daughter for nearly forty-eight years but a mother for only fourteen. Either way, Mother’s Day, for me, is still very much about my mother.

She’s coming to visit, so I’m trying to plan something special (assuming I can squeeze it in between her estimated arrival time and my daughter’s soccer game, naturally). Those who know me well, know my mom has been a generous, loving, selfless person her entire life. She spoiled me (rotten, possibly) and is still my best friend. Just ask my husband, who can’t understand what we spend an hour rehashing every morning over tea.  I always say that, if I can be half the mother to my kids that she has been to me, then my kids are very lucky.

What about you?  Are you a mother?  If so, do you view this holiday like I do?

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you!

XO-Jamie

How About A Spring Fever Giveaway?

I don’t know where you live, but here in the Northeast, we’ve suffered through a long, cold winter.  Only very recently has spring begun to reveal itself.  Presently, these few hyacinths are the only touch of color in my yard. 

Nonetheless, the warmer weather and birdsong in the air puts me in a generous mood.  With Mother’s Day approaching, I thought I’d give away a little “outdoor summer reading” gift bag for a lucky winner.  The goody bag will include a signed book, a $25 Amazon gift card, a reusable water bottle, sunscreen, and some fun nail polish just for the heck of it!

To qualify, you need to be a member of my newsletter mailing list (which is not the same as signing up to receive blog posts).  My mailing list is private and will not be shared with anyone.  Benefits will include early news about upcoming releases, chances to win advanced reader copies and other gifts, and more.  There will only be two or three mailings per year, so your inbox won’t be flooded with updates!

You can sign up here, my website (right sidebar of its landing page), my Facebook page (sign-up tab in the banner), or on this blog right beneath Katherine’s bio!

I’ll go through the mailing list on Tuesday, April 28th to pick a winner, so she (or he) receives the gift in the mail before Mother’s Day.  I’ll announce the winner here and on my Facebook page (and contact her or him via email).

Good luck!

XO-Jamie

 

The Romance of Trying New Things

Part of me wishes I were writing a post about traveling to some exotic new destination or conquering a new physical challenge, but I’m not.  No ticket to Iceland, no backpack headed to Mount Kilimanjaro.  Just me and a box of books headed to Book Expo America on May 29th for a book signing at the Romance Writers of America booth.

Despite living nearby, I’ve never been to the Javits Center in NYC. I’ve also never done a formal book signing anywhere, let alone at the biggest publishing industry event of the year. I’m sure I’ll be overwhelmed.  I’ll probably also feel quite like a poser amid the many major authors, booksellers, and other more experienced professionals milling about.

Yet, those sporadic, nervous tingles of anticipation in my belly are exhilarating!

It may be trite, but there is something to be said for pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. The promise of possibility shimmers, making one feel young and enthusiastic. So whether you are considering trying a a new hobby, going on a first date, or even in mastering some complicated recipe, don’t let fear of the unknown hold you back.

Care to share some secret “first” you are dying to try?

xo-Jamie

Do Romance Novels Hurt Society?

As a romance writer, I’m constantly creating tales of “predestined” love. In other words, I’m propagating a romantic fantasy time and again with the goal of entertaining (and sometimes arousing) others.

But after reading Great Expectations: The Soul Mate Quest, I have to wonder whether my genre might be hurting people. How could a romance novel hurt anyone, you ask? Answer: in the same way the beauty industry makes people feel insecure about their appearance.

San Francisco psychologist Joshua Coleman suggests, “[c]onstant cultural pressure to have it all—a great sex life, a wonderful family—has made people ashamed of their less-than-perfect relationships and question whether such unions are worth hanging on to. Feelings of dissatisfaction or disappointment are natural, but they can seem intolerable when standards are sky-high.”

Based on that declaration, one could argue romance novels, which are often based upon the concept of a soul mate, contribute to this cultural pressure. Thus, I must ask whether an avid romance reader might question the “rightness” of his or her relationship if it is not in perfect harmony at all times more often than someone who doesn’t read romance. And if so, what do they do about it?

According to Coleman, “[P]eople are made to feel that remaining in a marriage that doesn’t make you blissfully happy is an act of existential cowardice.” Thus, it is possible, if not probable, that a person whose relationship compares unfavorably against the idealistic relationships in his or her beloved romance novels might start looking elsewhere for that illusory soul mate.

That idea not only troubles me, but it also presents a quandary. My genre dictates a happy ending and a swoon-worthy hero, so if I were to write a more realistic romance novel, it probably wouldn’t sell.  I suppose I will keep writing romance and hope that readers recognize them as a fantasy, but enjoy them all the same.

XO-Jamie

Book Release–Worth the Wait

St. Patty’s Day is the release date for my sophomore novel, Worth the Wait.

I adore everything about this story:  the setting (Block Island), the heroine (Vivi, who maintains a sunny outlook despite a heartbreaking childhood), the hero (David, an introvert who’s brooding over a damaging secret he’s being forced to keep), the unrequited love/friends-to-lovers tropes, and the overarching theme of the power of forgiveness.

As with In the Cards, I’m donating 25% my early sales proceeds to New Canaan CARES, so if you buy the book this week, you’ll also be supporting free programming for children and parents.

If you’re curious to see how I envision David, Vivi, and the rest of the characters and other things in the story, check out my Pinterest Board for this novel.

If you haven’t signed up to attend the Lucky in Love Facebook Launch Party, with lots of guest authors and giveaways, including the Kindle grand prize, do it now!  It’ll be fun, I promise!

xo-Jamie

Virtual Launch Party

My next novel, Worth the Wait, releases on St. Patrick’s Day (less than two weeks from now).  Like before, I’m donating 25% of my proceeds from the first week of book sales to New Canaan CARES.  Unlike before, I’m not hosting a live book launch.

This time I’m co-hosting a virtual book-launch party on Facebook with two awesome writer friends, Jeannie Moon, and USA Today best seller Jamie K. Schmidt, each of whom also have new books releasing on March 17th (Until You and Fever, respectively).

At this point you may be wondering, what happens at a virtual release party?  Let me tell you: fun and giveaways!  Guest authors will interact with fans and give away free signed books.  There will be contests for other prizes, like exclusive “book jacket” chocolate bars, and a grand prize of a Kindle Paperwhite.  You can expect authors and fans to post lots of man-candy pictures and off-color humor, too.  This is, after all, a romance event!

We’ve line up a roster of amazing guest authors including, among others, fellow CTRWA members Regina Kyle, Sugar Jamison, Erika Kelly, and NYT best seller Kristan Higgins, as well as fellow Montlake authors Sheila Athens and Sandra Owens.

The party takes place from 7-11 pm on St. Patty’s Day, so click on the launch party link above to join.  You don’t have to stay the whole time–pop in and out throughout the evening.  But it will be a fun chance to meet some new authors and possibly win one or more prizes!

Hope to see you there!

xo-Jamie

 

 

Natural Inspiration

I’ve just returned from a week in Little Cottonwood Canyon, Utah. We packed a house full with three generations of family, loads of skis and snowboards, and more than a few bottles of wine.

Top of Collins toward Sugarloaf, Alta

No setting makes me happier—heart and soul—than being amid majestic, snowcapped mountains. To me, the stark beauty of ragged peaks and white powder is unparalleled by any blue ocean, emerald forest, or blazing orange desert.

Top of Supreme lift, Alta

The heady combination of crisp air, heart-pounding activity, and my kids’ pride and laughter with each new trick they accomplish gets all my juices flowing. My mind unlocks, problem solving becomes easier, story ideas flow naturally. I envy those who get to enjoy this experience on a more regular basis, and I always leave the Rockies convinced it will be where I retire.

Snowbird from the Alta Bypass Road

Writing View

Until then, I’ll have to rely on my photos and memories to sustain me through the long months in between these vacations. Of course, I’m currently working on a romance series involving a fictional ski town and three super-hot ski pro heroes, so perhaps I’ll have to take a few “research” trips during the next year. Now there’s an inspired idea!

Alta/Snowbird Crossing Point

Where is your favorite vacation destination, and does that setting inspire you?

XO-Jamie