Deborah Gilboa's Blog, page 46

APPO Member Webinar

Dr. G will team up with the Association of Personal Photo Organizers this January, to help members partner with families and build self-esteem in kids and teens through pictures. The webinar, Build Your Business By Better Understanding What Parents Want from Pictures will focus on the research connecting photos and specific admiration of children and teens to the lessening of risky behaviors. Learn how pictures can protect kids and teens from the negative peer pressure they face each day.

Pittsburgh Today Live, CBS

Dr. G returns to Pittsburgh Today Live on CBS with Kristine Sorensen to talk about issues that parents are facing now. Have a topic you’d like to hear more about? Reach out now and let us know. 

Kids and Self-Esteem – Use Birthday Power

Do your kids’ birthdays make you feel nostalgic? 

Mine do.

I’m not much for reliving the birth story – good news for my boys I think.  That’s probably because I turned into a weeping lunatic for about the first solid week after each of my sons was born.  Not my best moments.

Birthdays make me think of growth and possibilities.  I spoke to a friend recently on the ninth birthday of her son.  “It’s half over,” she said.  “He’ll leave home in nine more years.”  It’s true, almost certainly, and I’m sure that this kind of countdown is inevitable.

For me, though, when I think with worry of the coming years I think of the shell of teenager-ness.  Those years when the bright light that just shines out of our children goes a little dimmer as they focus inward.  That time when they will have to do the hard work of separating from our family to figure out who they are on their own.  I think I will miss them more during those years than I will after they leave the house.

Don’t fear the teens.

All the people I’ve known and loved through their teenage years have, thankfully, come back.  Their development well underway, these late teenagers or early adults break free of the cocoon and show the beautiful soul that was always in there.  They show it to the world, and even to their parents.

In the meantime, I use my birthday musings each year to build another piece of the support I want to give them to get through that time.

I write a letter.

Every year, close to each child’s birthday (OK, sometime in the three months after, or definitely before we start planning the party for the next year), I write a letter about their year.  I describe a little about their schedule and their friends and their teachers.  I write some about their activities and interests.  I try to include what they currently plan to be when they grow up.  Most of all, I talk about their strengths and challenges, and what they have overcome, with a word or two about our hopes for them.

I keep these Birthday Books in the fireproof safe, because they are among our most cherished possessions.  I hope that, when our kids don’t like us and don’t believe we like them, they will reread these letters.  I pray that they will find themselves in these books, an outside but loving view of themselves so that they can shine some light inside the often painful cocoon of being a teenager.

But you could keep these on the Cloud, and spice them up with some pictures (that “Insert Picture” function is pretty easy!). Pictures are another great way to show our kids what we value about them and how big a place they have in our hearts.

It is never too late to start a Birthday Book.  I’ve always thought it would be cool to ask some other people who love my boys to write a letter to include.  Haven’t gotten around to it, but I still could.  You could too.

 

Do you have any special birthday traditions?

International Nanny Association Conference, Cancun, Mexico

Dr. G is amazed to be invited back to the International INA Conference for 2015! Her keynote address, “Resolving Conflict Through Resilience and Respect” will help nannies, newborn care specialists and agencies work in environments that bring out the very best in themselves, clients, charges and colleagues. And for the Nanny Track, she will present the workshop: How to Guide Your Tween/teen to Independence Without Losing Your Mind.”

National American Camping Association Conference, New Orleans, LA

Dr. G will join the entire camping community this year to keynote for the National ACA conference in New Orleans. She is thrilled to address the whole wonderful crowd with “Imagine Respect, Inspire Resilience, Impact Responsibility.”  She will also join Michael Brandwein for a workshop “EXCELLENT EXPECTATIONS: How to Teach Staff to Set Positive “Group Rules” & Enforce Limits” and Noah Gallagher for a Camp Director/Parent perspective workshop on “Difficult Parent Interactions: How to Use Those Uncomfortable Moments to Build Relationship, Resilience and Retention!”

Should Parents Prank Kids on Video?

Ever had the urge to laugh at your child’s meltdown?

This is a normal urge! Rather than get completely enmeshed and feel terrible every time our child is upset, it is helpful to see that this too shall pass. It is healthy to separate enough from our kids that their stress doesn’t have to be our stress every single time.

Parent Prank Videos can be so funny!

Is your Facebook stream showing you the videos parents make of their kids after a practical joke? Whether it’s a toddler meltdown from a shockingly shaved dad, or a 8 year old freak out after being told all the Halloween candy was eaten by mom, these kids are truly shocked and betrayed. And their reactions are sometimes hilarious!

So is there a problem?

The hosts of Emotional Mojo invited me on to speak about these videos, and whether or not they are damaging to kids.

 

What do you think?

 

Teen Parties: Should You Call the Parents?

Teen parties mean…

Struggle. Struggle for the parent to know how much to believe, how much to trust, how much to ask and investigate. Struggle for the teen to navigate an increasingly adult existence and the balance of being their own people as well as someone’s child.
Risk. Not just our own kids’ poor choices, but the risk inherent in all of the other teens’ behaviors and suggestions as well.
Opportunity. These are great chances to talk to our kids about their decision-making. What has led them to good (or bad) decisions in the past and what motivates them now? What questions do they have about finding their way safely through the social world of young adults?

Parents should ask.

Ask teens what they think and what they know about an event.
Ask adults who will be at the party and what the boundaries are.
Ask ourselves how much autonomy we believe our child can handle.

Your Teen magazine, a fantastic resource for the joys and challenges of raising teenagers, asked me “Teen Parties: Should I Call the Parents?” and I hope you’ll join in the discussion!

Protect Kids from Germs at School

Schools have lots of germs.

Anywhere with lots of kids has lots of germs. How can we teach kids

Which spots at school have the most germs?
What can kids do to limit how often they get sick?
How can we “arm” kids to best fight germs?

Get all those answers and more in less than five minutes!

Your Teen Webinar: Real Online Worries: Cyberbullying, Gaming, and Porn

Dr. G will join William O’Neil and Your Teen Magazine for a straight talking webinar about the real threats to our kids online. How can we teach tweens and teens to navigate cyberspace without getting trapped by cyberbullying, game or gambling addiction, or pornography? RSVP now to join this FREE webinar.

Go #Vote and Take Your Kids!

Do your kids know you vote?

It’s easy to feel like one vote won’t make any difference. But we all know that one vote is what we have to use to make a huge impact. Here is an even better reason to spend that vote where your kids can see you do it.

Voting matters.

Parenting means doing what we want our kids to do someday, even if we don’t feel like it! Or if it would be easier to do on alone. Will you join Amy Joyce of The Washington Post and take your kids with you to the voting booth?

 

*Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhoto.net