Deborah Gilboa's Blog, page 53
July 11, 2014
KOIT FM, Positive Parenting Radio Show, San Francisco
Dr. G is excited to join Armin Brott’s Positive Parenting radio show on KOIT fm in San Francisco. Mr. Brott and Dr. G will talk about Get the Behavior You Want… Without Being the Parent You Hate! Please listen in for why, what and how of raising kids you can respect and admire!
July 9, 2014
Mommy MD Guides Podcast
Dr. G will join Jennifer Bright Reich and Dr. Susan Besser of MommyMDGuides to talk
about parenting, work-life balance, and her new book, Get the Behavior You Want… Without Being the Parent You Hate! Please join in!
July 7, 2014
How to Win at Parenting (for when your kids become adults)
A victory lap in parenting?
Dr. G was invited to discuss parenting as kids grow up on CBS’ Pittsburgh Today Live. Host Kristine Sorensen and Dr. G were joined by Allegheny County Executive Rich Fitzgerald and his wife Kathy to talk about the 8 Fitzgerald kids and the lessons their parents have learned.
How should parents handle…
Money
Moving back in
Career advice
Rescuing a child who’s really in crisis
and so many other important issues come up even as kids enter (and leave) their college, or whatever they do after high school.
Please join this great conversation as they discuss how parents really win at parenting!
June 30, 2014
Kids and Trips: How to Make Your Life Easier!
Does your family have some time off?
When we are busy with school and work and schedules, I often start planning vacations, at least in my mind. It seems like such a great idea to have an outing (or twelve), or a trip somewhere, lined up for when the kids are off school and we can take a little time away.
And then the time comes to actually pack, or just pack up the car for a quick day trip, and the stress piles on! I think “Why did I think this would be relaxing?!”
Kids can help make trips easier!
No matter what their age, kids have a lot to learn and to contribute to family outings. Join Kristine Sorensen, John Burnett and I as we talk – age by age – about how kids can contribute to planning and taking vacations. Take some of the stress off yourself!
June 23, 2014
Kids and Doctor Visits – What They Need to Learn
Take kids to the doctor.
Most of us are good with that parenting task. We take them for check ups, when they’re not feeling well or acting right, take them when we’re worried or sense a problem. We bring kids to get forms filled out, boxes checked. But there is one more great reason to take kids to the doctor’s office:
Teach kids how and when to go to the doctor!
Kids learn a lot from their medical appointments, like how to:
answer the nurse
not be afraid of the equipment
talk to the doctor or PA or Nurse Practitioner
Kids can learn even more about how to keep themselves healthy (or get well) as teens and adults, if we teach them now!
June 19, 2014
How Do I Make this Kid Stop Crying?
I have a 3 year old son, who is very smart; however, he does not listen very well and cries a lot! What do you recommend to get him to listen? What type of punishment when he does not? How do I get him to stop crying for no reason?
Anonymous, in PA
You have two great questions here. The first, how do I get my 3 year old to listen, I talk about in my 5 Tricks to Stop Yelling at Our Kids. I hope you’ll look there for some solutions.
It’s your second question – how do I get him to stop crying – that I’d like to focus on now.
You’re asking “Why does he cry for no reason?” He doesn’t cry “for no reason.” He cries for no reason that makes sense to you, but that is not the same thing. He has great reasons for crying, in his opinion.
Most often kids cry due to frustration. Smart kids have high expectations that they will get what they want. When they don’t, crying is a totally understandable reaction.
He also might be crying because:
you told him no
you told him yes but not in the right way or about the right thing
he is tired, hungry, not feeling well, cold, hot… you get the idea
for any number of wild reasons (have you seen ReasonsMySonisCrying.com?)
I know that crying can drive you a little nutty, it does to me as well. Don’t despair, he will cry less if you change your reaction. And (bonus) he’ll listen more.
When he starts crying:
Check your own reaction. Frustration, anger, guilt, shame – whatever you’re feeling, do your best to take a deep breath and blow it out – anything to dissolve or move past your own emotions. Those aren’t his responsibility.
Show empathy. Don’t change your mind about whatever happened just before this, but show genuine sympathy for his feelings. In other words, speak to him the way you want to be spoken to if you cry. “I see that you’re sad, and I’m sorry you’re feeling that way.”
Don’t offer solutions. That’s it. Don’t give solutions, or threats, or tell him why he shouldn’t fee what he’s feeling – that’s disrespectful of him.
Ask him for solutions. “What do you think would help right now?” When he’s able, get him to focus on finding his own solutions. Yes, I know that he will say the only thing that will help is giving him what he wants. That is not the answer. Stick to the line you drew, and ask for other ideas.
Try one of his ideas, or let him be. If he has a solution that is not illegal, unethical or fattening – try it! If he won’t problem solve, let him alone (safely) for a bit.
Praise his effort. Whenever he calms down, let him know that you appreciate the effort he put into feeling better, or explaining his problem, or calming down. All of this shows his resilience. He may not have much yet, but he is learning!
He can learn resilience – the ability to overcome adversity. To do that, he needs you to see that he is facing something that is difficult for him. You don’t have to understand why it’s difficult, or agree that it is. You do have to help him see the steps to recovery, and praise him when he chooses to follow those steps. There are other ways to encourage resilience in kids, so if this doesn’t work I hope you’ll let me know!
Parents, what have you tried to help kids recover faster from frustration?
June 15, 2014
Vaping – What Parents Need to Know
“Vaping? What’s That?!”
Most parents have not heard of this. They have heard of e-cigarettes. “Isn’t that supposed to be help people quit smoking?” It absolutely is, and can. Unfortunately, liquid nicotine is now being marketed to kids.
“My kids know not to smoke.”
That, studies show, is probably true. Way to go! We are teaching kids that smoking is bad, and bad for them, and kids are listening. The problem?
Kids don’t connect vaping and smoking.
They don’t think vaping is dangerous, or bad for them, and they don’t think it has anything to do with nicotine or smoking.
Parents need the facts.
So watch the video, and get them, so you can teach your child to protect themselves from this nasty, new, and growing habit in middle schoolers.
June 12, 2014
Pittsburgh Today Live, CBS
Dr. G will join host Kristine Sorensen for her regular feature on Pittsburgh’s CBS morning show. They’ll talk about the joys and challenges of summer parenting, and how to make this summer great for you and your kids!
Parenting Adventures Podcast
Dr. G is honored to join Michael Stelzner of Social Media Examiner to talk about how to get kids involved in community service! We’ll talk about how it changes kids for life, the amazing work they can accomplish, and why they love it. I hope you’ll listen in!
June 9, 2014
US Army War College
Doctor G is thrilled to return to speak to the International Fellows and their spouses at the War College. Just as families are getting their orders for their next assignment is the perfect time to discuss the challenges that these families face as they serve. She’ll discuss 5 Tools for Raising Resilient Kids in the Military.
