S.E. Isaac's Blog, page 41
August 15, 2017
Why are you so sparkly?
Explicit. You have been warned!
I usually just randomly pick a topic of my day to ramble about. However, today, is a special day, ladies & gents. Today, the topic is ‘glitter bombs’. If you google it, it will probably display women’s shoes; however, you forgot a key word, ‘vagina’. I wish I could have seen the look on all of your faces! OMG. I’m literally giggling as I write this.
Click here to read the article I read!
Okay, now that you have removed yourself off of the floor from laughing or now that you are back from throwing up, let’s chat. Who in the hell wants their ‘vag’ to sparkle like a disco ball? Aren’t there other ways to prettify your vag, like…I don’t know…soap? HA! Who in the hell thought of this glitter idea? The fact that it is edible makes it a thousand times funnier. I’m a ‘romance author’, whatever happened to good old fashioned whipcream and such actual edible foods!?! Do people still use those edible body paints and warmers? (random, I’m just curious)
The person who created glitter (1) probably made it for their enemy and not for arts & crafts. **Glitter is the devil & a bitch to get off of you** (2) didn’t imagine that women would be shoving it up in their vag in capsules (3) didn’t imagine #2 AND that it would be edible.
Where do you buy these things? Are they sold over the counter or are they behind the plexiglass at Walmarts and Targets? “Yes, I need assistance. I’d like to get a pack of the blue vag glitter bombs and….oh, what the hell, let me try the yellow too.”
Seriously, let’s think about this. This particular glitter is made of sugar. The vag isn’t the most well lit area, it isn’t dry (well, depends on your bio), and is already working to stay pH friendly. Why in the fuck would you add sugar to this? This is a recipe for disaster. Literally. You’re baking yourself a nice glittery yeast infection by using these. (YUCK) Have you ever used glitter on a craft and 10 weeks later, you’re still finding glitter? Imagine your poor gynecologist! Their job is rough to begin with. There is nothing pretty or fun about staring at vaginas all day. And, now you want to fuck up their day even more by throwing in a glittery yeast infection. Here’s the thing, you can’t even hide the fact of using these with your gynecologist! The evidence presents itself…literally! Ta-da! Here’s purple glitter!
The only pro I could see coming from using these are…comedy? Oh, wait, there is one perk to this interesting arts and crafts + sexual project gone bad…that is cheating. Cheating will be limited or easier to catch. These bad boys (vag glitter bombs) are stealth mode. Men won’t even know until it’s too late. Now he’s stuck with a sparkly, dipstick that is going to tell on his cheating ass, when he gets home to his woman. Good luck explaining that, big guy.
Ladies, if you think he’s cheating, start looking for glitter. (You’re welcome)
Okay, I’m done with this topic…for the moment. I can completely see me coming back to this topic. If you are brave enough to admit that you have tried these, will you please comment or message me. I have a gazillion questions. If you, message me privately, I give you my word that I will not post our conversation nor mention that you admitted to using these things. I would just like some answers from a pro.
Happy reading!
S.E.Isaac
Friends don’t let friends vag glitter bomb.
August 9, 2017
Just a few mg of Crazy
Well, hello, world. I have been able to commandeer time with my laptop. My 17 year old has been using it as his personal laptop to watch basketball videos. When he isn’t using it, it’s dead and I don’t want the new pup tripping over the cord & turning my laptop into tiny pieces of brokenness.
Anywho, I am able to sneak in a few words with all of you before going back to the chicken and rice that I am cooking. I feel like there was something else I was in the middle of doing? Hm…guess I will figure it out sooner or later. (I hope)
***
I am still on my rampage about booty shorts that are cutting off circulation in these women’s vaginas around here. I just don’t know how it is comfortable for them to wear them! :0 They don’t even look like shorts. They just look like a vagina tourniquet! I don’t even like my underwear up my ass, so I don’t know how they handle things being up the front and back. I’d go crazy. Seriously.
If you feel that these booty shorts are okay to wear or maybe you even wear them yourself, feel free to chime in. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the feel of them. Is there something that I am missing? A cheap thrill perhaps? If so, I’m okay with that because that thrill looks painful and not in a fun way.
***
Do you ever wish you had friends that lived close to you, but then think how you don’t want to be social all the time, so you’re glad no one lives near you? This is my constant dilemma. I am happy with my social media and text conversations. Okay. Only semi-happy. Would be nice to go swimming in the pool with some friends or go hiking or just lounge on my couch and bitch about life. I’m a very complicated person. I can’t be the only person that has this problem, right?
***
I am currently on a sugar crash. My sugar level got too high and I had to take a nap, which consisted of me listening to my three sons outside my window playing in the pool, while playing with the dog too. I don’t feel like I slept a wink. Now, I am a walking zombie and still plan on taking my oldest to the strip tonight to see it lit up. Maybe, I’ll make him drive & I’ll nap, in the passenger seat, while he cruises the strip. (Grinch grin just appeared on my face.)
***
Here’s to some happy writing to me& happy reading to all of you!
S.E.Isaac
Click here to buy, Train to Anguish.
❤ ❤ ❤
August 7, 2017
August 5, 2017
Just a friendly rant…
Dear Las Vegas ladies and surrounding global ladies (Earthling Women),
Let us talk about your ‘shorts’. I literally have underwear longer than some of them & my underwear aren’t even traditional granny panties! What the hell, ladies!?! Especially, in Las Vegas! It gets super hot! I doubt I need to draw a picture with words as to what happens to a human’s body in heat. Or do I? Because I totally can and will. Let me just say that you should probably stock up on Monistat. Ugh! You poor things.
Also, I feel that I should be throwing dollars at you, which I feel would be rude if I did, because I don’t carry cash and usually only have my debit card and change on me. Being hit upside the head by dimes and nickels is probably not your favorite thing to have done to you. So on behalf of me, myself, and I, please, buy the other half to your current shorts…and WEAR them! Please & thank you.
Happy Reading!
S.E.Isaac
**Parents, stop letting your little girls wear these effin’ kinds of shorts. Makes me want to smack the hell out of you!!!!**
August 4, 2017
Now Vs Then
[image error]
[image error]
I have gone bat shit crazy 
Sound the horns…
Some days staying positive is damn near impossible! Especially when you throw in a special needs child, who is currently off of his medication because of the doctor’s office + insurance company + pharmacy going round for round. Look, assholes, we’re talking about my son’s wellbeing. UGH! I am soooooo effin’ pissed. I could probably flip a semi-truck with all of my rage and not even strain a muscle. I get so tired of dealing with this bullshit. I can only be nice & courteous for so long before I go full attack mode. Congratulations, we have now reached that effin’ level. Battle gear up.
[image error]
Happy reading! And, may the happy force be with you this weekend 
August 3, 2017
The time has arrived…
[image error]
Just kidding, the day is today. I want to get one page written. A complete page, not a few words at the end of an already written page. We shall see. I am under the weather but forcing myself to write….Let’s go.
My current life….
[image error]
Holy hell. I can’t seem to catch a break. I feel like I am passing myself in the driveway, while I drive out of it. Constantly on the go!
July 31, 2017
Where in the hell did the time go!?!
[image error]
What a busy month! I feel like I have been in my van every hour except a few, in which I was sleeping. So much has happened within the past month. I feel like my head is spinning and my mind can’t catch up with my body and vice versa. YIKES!
I really had planned on writing, but that has been put on hold. I have two awesome people visiting (one of whom flies out tonight
July 27, 2017
Another beautiful surprise! <3
[image error]
So, there I was…middle of the Adidas Summer Championship games (for highschoolers) with my oldest son, when I login to Facebook. Boom! This beautiful picture pops up! It’s my cousin, Kim, and she has captioned the picture “Supporting my cousin”! A gigantic smile broke out on my face! I didn’t even know that she was considering buying the book, let alone had purchased a copy in paperback format! (giddy!) How awesome! Okay. I know I have used lots of explanation points, but I am just so stoked and so lucky for those in my life. My family and friends have been tremendously supportive! Wow! I am one lucky lady!
Thank you, Kim! Thank you, everyone!
Happy Reading!
S.E.Isaac
