S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 57

Podcast: Patience Will Save You

“Right now, you’re just planting seeds. It may not look like much, people might look and not understand what you’re doing, but one day you’ll look over that field and realise that a beautiful rose garden has bloomed. And it was all worth it in the end for that wonderful view.”

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2019/07/patience-will-save-you.mp3

 

You can follow the Mindset Managed Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts! Don’t forget to leave a review on iTunes if you’re enjoying it, as it helps the podcast to grow. Thanks so much, gang!

Video: How Energy Affects Us

Here are my ideas about how energy affects us every day without us even knowing it.

Energy is all around us. It is in everything we do, feel, see, interact with and so on. It’s important to recognise this and adjust accordingly.

What are your energy levels? What is influencing your energy?

Click to play!

Don’t forget to subscribe to my Mindset Managed YouTube channel for more insights and inspiration, especially with the Confidence Challenge coming in August! You don’t want to miss it!

You Have Had Gifts All Along

People seem to think that gifts, strengths, talents, superpowers are supposed to be something that they have that most others don’t. But that’s false.

Gifts can be popular.

Say your superpower is being a good parent. There are plenty of good parents but that doesn’t mean it’s not a superpower of yours. It doesn’t mean it should be something that you’re not proud of for yourself.

We need to stop looking for some big unique great thing about us and start finally noticing the things that we are great at already. Big or small, impressive or not.

You could be a great writer. A great conversationalist. A great empath. A great organiser. A great friend. A great party-pal. A great cook. A great fashionista. A great silver-tongued liar. A great tech geek…

These are all valuable, important things to be; great skills or talents to possess.

When we compare our gifts to others, we lose sight of how important they are. When we wish for something better or more impressive, we steal from the wonders we possess right now.

Being an incredible singer is all well and good, but it doesn’t really help for everyday life, does it? Instead, being a great conversationalist is a wonderful life skill to have. It means you will make friends with ease, talk yourself out of a speeding ticket, create connection and new opportunities for yourself, and never be lonely or bored!

Being a great mother means you will always be there for your children, they will trust and adore you, you will take care of people by nature, and people will seek comfort in your arms. That’s powerful. That’s beautiful.

We all make a mistake by searching for something big and wonderful about ourselves or our lives, when in reality, we all possess pretty great gifts, talents, skills, and superpowers that we use every day without being aware of it.

This is why mindfulness, self-awareness, and presentness helps so much. You are awake to the truth about yourself and your life.

So, today I want you to stop:

Comparison
Feeling like you don’t have anything great inside of you
Demanding something spectacular happen
Complaining

And start:

Noticing what you’re good at today
What comes naturally to you
How people feel around you
What makes you feel good to do or say

Before you know it, you will see your gifts for what they are. Now it’s time to love them and use them for good.

 

Comment below with what your “newfound” gifts are…

 

Video: Introverts V. Extroverts on Comfort Zones

Introverts versus Extroverts on Comfort Zones. Who has it worse? Are introverts set up to be more uncomfortable in life? Let’s see my thoughts on the subject!

Click to play!

 

Thoughts? Please share! And don’t forget to subscribe for more!

Empowerment: How To Give Yourself Power

Many of us who lack confidence feel like we have little to no power. No power over what happens to us, over what we do, how we feel, how others treat us or see us.

But empowerment is a practice.

It’s a muscle. It’s something that can be learned and improved each day. It’s about our choices, our mindset, and our intentions.

Here are some ideas about how to give yourself power…

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Authenticity

Being authentic means being yourself. Showing up as your true, real self without worry about validation, acceptance, or fitting it. Authenticity means striving for belonging: being seen and accepted just as you are by the right people.

Authenticity gives us power because we are actively choosing ourselves in each moment. We are saying that we love ourselves, accept ourselves and trust ourselves enough to be who we truly are regardless of how it is seen by others.

Now that’s powerful. It’s a constant message to yourself saying, “I am ME and that is perfect.”

 

Daring Greatly

We give ourselves power by daring to do new, exciting and scary things. Being brave means feeling the fear but doing something anyway. The more we dare to do things out of our comfort zone, the more power we give to ourselves because we are rewriting our negative, self-doubting, unconfident script of “I can’t do this; I’m not good enough.”

 

Gratitude

Gratitude practices help us to shift our awareness and focus. To see the truth, the beauty, the good; instead of focusing on the bad like we naturally do. This is empowering because it helps us to realise that we are in control of what we see, how we feel, and what we choose to manifest into our lives.

Having this skill in your toolbox means you have a way to feel joy and shift focus in minutes, and that’s some powerful stuff.

 

Badass Bitch list

Having a list of your accomplishments, hardships that you’ve overcome, best traits, talents, and skills helps you to know, at a glance, just how great you are.

We often forget the reality of how wonderful we are and the many great things we’ve done. But having this list out ready to see each day, helps you to never forget it again. Knowing what you’re worth, and what you’ve done, gives you the power to realise that you can do more things in the future.

 

Intentions

Knowing the WHY behind your actions helps you to feel motivated and in control. Intentions are powerful. They are a statement to the universe that you know what you want and why, and that’s what drives you to do what you do.

Acting on autopilot or out of emotion (fear, jealousy, anger, sadness) is not a good way to live. We all do this at times, but make sure you are intentional more often than not.

This means waking up with an intention to feel stronger by the end of the day. Or with the intention to get organised and to clear the mental and physical clutter. This is not about to-do lists or goals but intentions, which are more about how you wish to feel, what you want to manifest, and why you’re doing what you’re doing.

Intentions bring power because it is a driving force that others can’t shake so easily.

A goal of reading 50 books can be disputed. But an intention to feel more knowledgable can’t.

 

Boundaries

Psychology Today says, “Boundaries can be defined as the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we find acceptable and unacceptable in their behaviour towards us. The ability to know our boundaries generally comes from a healthy sense of self-worth, or valuing yourself in a way that is not contingent on other people or the feelings they have toward you.

Intellectual worth and boundaries (you are entitled to your own thoughts and opinions, as are others)
Emotional worth and boundaries (you are entitled to your own feelings to a given situation, as are others)
Physical worth and boundaries (you are entitled to your space, however wide it may be, as are others)
Social worth and boundaries (you are entitled to your own friends and to pursuing your own social activities, as are others)
Spiritual worth and boundaries (you are entitled to your own spiritual beliefs, as are others)

Know your limits and be assertive about them.”

More on Boundaries here

and here

This is not about being rude or hurting others. It’s about protecting yourself and what you need. Asking for what you need should never be hard or disputed. If it is, then perhaps the people you’re trying to set boundaries with don’t respect or love you as much as they claim to.

Having clear boundaries is empowering. It gives power over what you need from yourself and your life.

 

Stop seeking so much advice

The frequency with which you ask for advice from others is in direct correlation with how much self-esteem you have. Those with more self-trust, confidence, and self-power will trust their own decision-making abilities.

And this isn’t really about big life decisions. With big decisions, it’s natural to ask for advice. But if you ask for advice for big things like what job to take, right through to the small things like what to eat for lunch, then you are actively sending your power away.

You are saying to yourself, “I can’t make good decisions“. And in saying that, you’re saying “I’m not good enough to make decisions on my own” which is a very bad message to yourself.

Give your power back and trust your gut to make the decisions that are right for you. After all, no one else must deal with the consequences of your choices. This means it’s down to you.

 

I hope this helps with how to give yourself power. Empowerment is a practice. It is a choice. It is possible for us all. Just decide that you’re capable and worth it.

 

Podcast: How to Reinvent Yourself

In life, we all go through periods where we are forced into a transition or when we feel ready for one. This time of reinvention can be hard to navigate when you’re uncomfortable and unsure. Here are some of my thoughts and tips about how to reinvent yourself in times of transition…

Click to play!

https://srcrawfordauthor.files.wordpress.com/2019/07/reinventing-yourself.mp3

 

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You can follow my podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Please leave a review if you’re enjoying them and welcome to the Mindset Managed Crew!

Video: A Message to Creatives and Entrepreneurs

I’m here to speak to you about what it’s like to be striving for success and feeling defeated as a creative or entrepreneur in life.

Click to play!

Don’t forget to subscribe to not miss any videos from Mindset Managed!

Why I Do Yoga

I’ve been getting better and staying on top of my yoga lately, thus sharing my poses and trying to encourage others to try it out. Some people roll their eyes at it; some think it looks nice but it’s too hard; others find that it is just not for them.

Whatever it is, it’s up to you whether you do it or not – I’m not here to convert you, I swear – but I do suggest that everyone at least try it out first before setting it aside.

But here is why I do yoga…

 

Empowerment

It is so empowering to be able to control my movements and complete more complex poses that I once thought were impossible. The goals, progress and accomplishments that come with a daily practice is good for the soul, the mind, and the power you feel within yourself.

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Self-trust

It takes great trust to be able to do complex moves. Being strong or flexible isn’t all that it’s about. You must trust yourself to be able to do it. When I’m unsure, I’m not as good. When I have faith in my abilities and my body, I can always do it. It’s very much a head game – like everything in this world.

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Capabilities

Testing your limits, setting new goals, and going that little bit further is exciting. Yoga is a routine way for me to test myself and see what I’m capable of. It’s just me and my mat and a goal; it’s a wonderful way to challenge yourself in a healthy way.

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Freedom from restraint

Yoga is a wonderful way of feeling free. Your body feels weightless, strong, beautiful, relaxed…free from restraint. It’s the only time that my body feels good!

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Release tension

And of course, the Western reason for doing yoga is usually for mental health and releasing stress and physical tensions in the body. All this is definitely achieved for me, too. I reach for my yoga mat when I’m aching, overly tired, stressed, or feeling low within myself.

A few moves later, and I’m out of my head and into the flow, feeling the tension slowly seep away.

(Of course, it’s not always perfect. And it does take practice, trust, and belief to do.)

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My writer’s arm

Yoga is especially important for me because I write so much that it causes a lot of pain in my back, my shoulders, and down my right arm, wrist, and fingers. This is no good if you want to be healthy and happy! If you want to keep writing, too. Yoga helps to ease the pain and keep my upper body strong for my day job!

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Pause

Yoga for me is a way to press pause on life. To relax, step away from the humdrum and just flow into movements that aren’t strenuous or stressful. Exercise of all kinds is brilliant, but yoga (Western Hatha yoga) works nicely for mental health because it’s slow paced and encourages you to slow down for once!

We all live fast-paced lives where we’re always doing and thinking a million things at once. Yoga forces you to slow down, get quiet, and just be for a moment. It is a meditative, gentle practice that also helps to improve the body, mind and soul – yes, please!

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Do you do yoga? How long have you been doing it? Would you like to try it out? Let me know in the comments below!

Best of luck x

 

 

 

Video: How to Deal with Social Anxiety

I have had social anxiety since about 12-13 years old. I have been for therapy and classes and they have helped me. But in today’s video, I am sharing the ONE thing that has helped me the MOST with my social anxiety coping/overcoming journey.

Click to play!

 

Subscribe to my channel if you are interested in more videos about anxiety, confidence, lifestyle choices, mental health, personal growth, self-discovery and being the best you.

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What is the TRUE Meaning of Heartbreak?

I used to think that I’d never experienced heartbreak because I’d never loved someone (as in romantically) and had my heart broken. When speaking about heartbreak, people usually mean romantically, after all.

But only recently I realised this isn’t the case. I have experienced heartbreak, and maybe you have too, so here are my thoughts on it and how it affects us even long after the event has passed…

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Friendships

I now realise that I have experienced heartbreak in a near romantic way with a friend. A best friend, the closest friend I’ve ever had.

We’d been friends since we were 3 years old. We knew one another’s families. We knew secrets and fears and were always there for one another. Even when we went to different schools, we still kept in touch.

It was always as if no time or space existed; our friendship never altered.

Until one day, it did, and I don’t know why.

It broke my heart to slowly realise that we weren’t friends anymore. Not like before. She was different and I felt less connected to her. Then one day, she stopped reaching out to me. Stopped being enthused about my messages. Stopped telling me when she was home from university.

We’d drifted apart.

What broke my heart was not knowing why. There had been distance between us before but it never altered the relationship, so why now?

And losing the only person I’d ever felt a sense of belonging and true trust and love for broke my heart.

The scars this left are obvious. I feel unworthy. I feel afraid that I will never find a friendship like that again. I fear that I’m not good enough and that I don’t belong, which seeps into all other areas of my life…shame, disappointment, judgement, criticism, outsider, imposter, all of them bringing hard emotions.

 

Creative Pursuits

I’ve loved projects that didn’t love me back. I’ve put my heart and soul into my creative work, felt good about it, and then felt broken-hearted when someone criticised it, rejected it, or ignored it.

I think that is because my work is a part of me. To criticise, reject, or ignore my work is to do so to me, too. And that hurts like hell. I still have not learned how to deal with this, but I must because it is a part of being a writer.

We put our work out into the world for all to see at the risk of being torn apart.

 

Disappointment

Disappointment in myself, my work, my partner, my family, the world… Being disappointed means having an expectation that wasn’t met.

Small disappointments aren’t heartbreaking but big ones can be. Or when we are disappointed again and again as if it’s some personal relentless torment that will never end.

 

Death

My Dad died when I was 7 years old. One of my longest school friends died at 20 years old from Cystic Fibrosis. Both of these broke my heart, and continue to do so every time I think of them or the memories that we shared.

It’s that I’ll never see them again. Never know who they could have been. Who we could have been together. How I’d be different from knowing them.

The questions…they break me apart each day.

 

Change

When people or environments or things in general change, it’s sort of like a death. Death of what used to be. Sometimes there’s a beautiful rebirth or newness that follows, but other times, maybe not.

This death can be heartbreaking when we tied so much of ourselves to it. Just like with my friend, the death of who she used to be broke my heart. The death of our closeness broke my heart.

The death of innocence and childhood is breaking.

When my brother moved far away for university, it broke my heart. He is someone who gets me more than anyone else. He’s one of my best friends. In the family, we’re the only introverts! I needed him. And then he moved away.

After that, our relationship was never quite the same. You can call and text and FaceTime but it doesn’t beat just knowing one another are in the same house whenever you needed them.

I felt like I’d lost a part of myself. Lost my sense of belonging and being understood.

Leaving home for uni myself felt this way, too. Hence the anxious panicking and returning back home.

What was most awful about my experiences around university was the loss of identity. I used to be so sure that university and academia was for me. It was a part of who I was and many others knew I’d succeed in it. And when that suddenly changed, I grieved for the loss of who I was (or thought I was). I still grieve for that and it breaks my heart.

Change brings with it grief and heartbreak, especially when it’s unexpected or unwelcome.

Why does it sometimes hurt so much to think about the school days or a past which was lovely and innocent and fun? Because we’re grieving the loss of it. A little heartbroken that we can never have it back.

Time shoulders on, and that’s truly heartbreaking to accept at times.

 

Loss of love

At the centre of heartbreak is the loss of love (literally or perceived). We can love a great many things and people and trust that it’ll always be there and then when it’s not, it hurts our hearts.

We grieve when heartbroken. Grieve over what used to be, over what we had, what we felt, and it now being gone.

“These include the loss of normality, the loss of what could be, the loss of what we thought we knew or understood about something or someone.” – Brene Brown, Rising Strong

The loss of trust. The loss of comfort. The loss of meaning. The loss of passion.

All of these are a shedding of skin that we grieve for, breaking our hearts.

We break our hearts a million times in a lifetime. But the good thing to remember is, we always live through it.

 

Download my FREE workbook to help guide you through fixing your low mood: The Low Mood Workbook

And for deeper self-reflection and working through tough emotions, check out the FREE Life Gunk Journaling workbook

 

If you need any help in bettering your mental health, or better coping with anxiety, depression, and stress, then my book “You’re As Mad As I Am” may be for you. Check it out here, and download a free sample to see what it’s all about.