Leila Marie Lawler's Blog, page 63

Lemon Basil Cookies with your {bits & pieces}

The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

 

 

We do like our lemon basil sweets around here. One year we made lemon basil ice cream, and that was good (Sukie really loved it, the rest of us were fans but also a bit weirded out).

Earlier this summer I made lemon basil pound cake scant hours after Bridget made one that was so gobbled up by our reading group that she never even had a slice! Poor thing, had to rescue her —  and both of those were excellent.

 

 

I realize this particular combination might just not seem like a thing to you, so let me try to convince you with…

Lemon Basil Icebox Cookies.

Deliciousness. The last bit of summer right there in a cookie.

The recipe is the Lemon Icebox Cookies from the tried-and-true, every home-maker’s help, The All New Good Housekeeping Cookbook (but actually not all new — get this edition for a song). (I wrote about the cookbooks I think will help you learn to cook and stand you in good stead when you are feeding the crowd here.)

I added the basil.

And I forgot to measure it but I will make up an amount and you tell me what you think, because it’s awesome and you will need to make these — just don’t everyone bring them to the St. Gregory Pocket meeting. The others can bring this or this or this. You bring these.

(Recipe note: the original recipe calls for greasing and flouring the pans. You know I am all about belts-and-suspenders when it comes to offering incense to the Gods of making sure I don’t fail with cakes, but I spaced this directive when making these cookies — who does that for cookies? But maybe nothing bad happened because of these awesome baking sheets from Doughmakers that Rosie got me long ago.)

Let the cookies sit a bit before eating — do you find that lemon things need to have a chance to bloom a little? Anyway, these cookies are great after a few hours.

The recipe is after this week’s links!

Please be the parents who let your kids do things. Please. Learn how. Use a knife? Yes. I don’t think that it’s true that a child will or will not eat something they have helped prepare, as this article suggests, but that’s beside the point. The point is to give them the skills. Start with spreaders and work your way up.


These medieval memes are so funny. Dear Dad, send money. This one has the added value of demonstrating that perennial complaints can be put in elegant language. Maybe some of them could be offered as copywork for our less eloquent pupils, in hopes of remediating their diction?


Normally I wouldn’t share a Facebook post, but this one from Leah Jackman-Wheitner pithily expresses something I’ve seen written about at greater length and to less effect. Any high school student could benefit from reading and maybe going over the points with you, and any freshman in college needs to read it — send it along to protect that investment of yours. Sukie was the one of our kids who expressed to me the idea that a student could approach being in college like a job, and just determine to work from morning to evening every day — and work hard. Brilliant.


This video of six boys loving on their baby sister (who is amazingly chill and I guess she needs to be) is beyond precious. It always gets me that movies never ever depict sibling interactions the way I know them from my own experiences with my children and those of our friends. I really think that most people just have no idea for the feel of a large and loving family — the tone. Yes, there are spats and rivalries. But there is solidarity and love as well. I think this video captures that reality perfectly.


Deirdre liked this interview with a master calligrapher whose work has gone viral on Instagram. He has some good thoughts about the creative process.


If someone is challenging you about the videos that expose the admittedly overwhelming evil of Planned Parenthood, here is a post that zeros in on the crucial moment in question. And here is another one. Warning: graphic and heart-wrenching. Passing this info along does not constitute an endorsement of any particular candidate.


As always, Fr. Rutler can step back and give us a good perspective on history. Here he warns of the erasure of memory in the schools as seen through the lens of current events in France.

 

 

Lemon Basil Icebox Cookies Like Mother, Like Daughter

(I doubled the recipe from the cookbook because as they point out, icebox cookies — the kind that you roll in a log and stash away to slice later and bake — are so handy to have in the freezer. They have a wildly inaccurate estimate of how many cookies their recipe will make, citing a yield of 96 for half this recipe here. Um no. I would say that the doubled recipe would make about 60.)

Cream together:

1 cup (2 sticks) butter

1 1/2 cups sugar

Add:

2 large egg yolks (you can freeze the whites, did you know that? Or just add them to a large batch of scrambled eggs — no one will be the wiser)

2 Tbsp lemon zest

4 Tbsp lemon juice (you will need three lemons)

Add:

3 1/3 cups flour

2 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/4 tsp. salt

4 Tbsp. chopped fresh basil

Mix on low speed until combined.

You can add some sprinkling sugar to the slices for a little sparkle if you like.

Divide the dough into 4 equal pieces and get 4 pieces of wax paper. Shape each piece of dough into a log about 8″ long. Don’t worry about making it round while the dough is warm — after the dough chills you will find it easy to roll it into a nice round shape in the wax paper before you slice your cookies.

Chill the dough for at least 2 hours — you want it to be quite firm. You can put two of the logs in a ziploc bag for the freezer at this point.

Preheat your oven to 375*. The cookbook says to grease and flour your cookie sheets, and I forgot to do this, but nothing bad happened: see my note about the baking sheets at the beginning of this post.

Cut your slices 1/4 inch thick, for real. Maybe even check the measurement with a little ruler to see that you are getting them the right thickness. They will spread during cooking and you don’t want them too thin or the tenderness will be lost.

Place the slices 1″ apart on the sheet — the cookies will spread.

Bake until set and slightly brown around the edges, although these won’t really brown. Check them after 10 minutes, but mine took 14 (but my oven runs cool). If your oven heats unevenly, set the timer so you can rotate the sheet(s) halfway through the baking.

Transfer the cookies to a rack to cool, and cool completely.

 

~We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).~


Follow us on Twitter.
Like us on Facebook.

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.
Rosie’s Pinterest.
Sukie’s Pinterest.
Deirdre’s Pinterest.
Habou’s Pinterest.
Bridget’s Pinterest.
Habou’s Blog: Corner Art Studio.
Auntie Leila’s Ravelry.
Auntie Leila’s Instagram.
Rosie’s Instagram.
Sukie’s Instagram.
Bridget’s Instagram.

{pretty, happy, funny, real} ~ new bees and old

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Every Thursday, here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

Bear with me while we look around the garden just a little bit more. It’s nearly gone… things got dry here and sadly, that was the end of that, pretty much. Not the weeds, though. Dry, shmry. Weeds just keep going.

{pretty}

{happy}

A friend of a friend was getting rid of his bees, having found out that he’s highly allergic, and so is his son.

He would have kept them if not for his son, and I believe that, because the Chief also found out that he’s highly allergic, and yet he happily took possession of the hive.

He’s taking shots to build up his resistance, and the epi-pen supply around here is solid.

You can risk anaphylactic shock over here.

But don’t, okay? Keep it together, respiratory-wise.

The queen seems to be doing quite well. Lots of activity in both hives. I tried to get shots of the flying bees, but to no avail — if you think there are funny bright flecks in my photos, well, that’s them. But just imagine thousands more.

The top-bar hive there on the left isn’t inhabited yet. Maybe someday. But now we have two busy hives (and the observation hive as well, in his office — although they are acting funky and maybe dwindling).

{funny}

I planted several butternut squash plants. What I suspect is a woodchuck got into the ones in the raised beds, and we’ll see how that goes.

But this one that was left over (you really have to plant those things far apart), I chucked onto the leach field hill — and it’s doing amazingly, right there with all the weeds and vines. This is a small portion of what I will harvest (the wire was to indicate back in June that here was a little squash plant):

The vine is going so far into the grass that I didn’t notice when I was mowing — whoops!

{real}

Just a few eggplants, peppers, and tomatoes coming along. I do “let the garlic chives grow” (haha not that I have much choice) — those white flowers — because the bees really love them. 





But we did get one day at the beach. So lovely. Next year it’s beach or bust.

[image error] Loading InLinkz ...

Featured St. Greg’s Pocket: Lisbon-Cascais, Portugal!

This is the first of a series of posts in which we’ll feature individual St. Gregory Pockets — your Pockets! We asked for you to send in pictures of your get-togethers, and we’ll now start to share them, one at a time.

 

Our first up: the Lisbon-Cascais St. Greg’s Pocket!

 

Heather, who has taken a lead in establishing the Pocket in Portugal, writes:

I have to tell you that the St. Greg’s Pocket idea really saved my sanity in the past year. As an American living in Portugal, friends are hard to come by, and just when you make a good one, their family has to return to their home country or move on to another. 

Making the decision to start this group was incredibly empowering for me. I sent messages to everyone I knew from various circles and invited them all to come over for coffee. A few came, and then every time I met an English-speaker at the park or anywhere, I felt very comfortable saying, “Hey, I have his mom’s group, and we’re getting together for lunch on such-and-such day. Would you like to join us?” Instant friends! So many of the women were so grateful to be included and to have the opportunity to get together with or without their children. 

Thank you so much for all that you do through your blog, and especially for encouraging “bold friendship.”

God bless,
Heather

 

Thanks for sharing with us, Heather! We’re so thrilled and excited to hear from you!

We want to see your Pocket next! Your happy faces could be up here next!

– Send us your photo! We want to see you, and we think that seeing you will give others encouragement as well! Just send your photo to LMLDblog [at] gmail.com. (Make sure that everyone in the photo is okay with it ending up posted on the interwebs!)

Related posts:

Instructions for starting a group.

A vision for the type of friendly community you want to achieve.

Being bold in seeking friendship.

Some practical notes on the St. Greg’s Pockets.

Is it scary to form a St. Greg’s Pocket? Some tips.

{bits & pieces}

The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

Have I mentioned that I love summer?

It’s cooling off a bit up here in the Granite State, but I am still clinging to it. For me, this is just summer but with nights more conducive to sleep, and will continue to be until all the trees changing color tell me otherwise.

Last week, a kind neighbor called up to me from his garden while I was hanging out my laundry, asking if I like tomatoes and peppers. Well sir, you will not find me turning down fresh produce. A moment later he had walked over an armful of these tomatoes, some of them perfectly ripe, a few still ripening, and a couple of jalapenos (which I saved for The Artist, being, unfortunately, a wimp when it comes to heat, myself).

These tomatoes. Oh my word. I don’t know what was in that soil, but the fruits were off the charts. The first night, I sliced one of them (they’re huge) and served it on a plate with not a thing – not even salt – and felt almost guilty eating it, it was so sweet and succulent. We’re just finishing off the last ones now, even having had them almost every day.

Oh, and the red chard is just from the super market, but I’m always so taken with that color!

This week’s links!

Babies, children, development, and things in their own good time:

I have my reservations about some of this writer’s thoughts, but overall I enjoyed reading this article on breastfeeding, mainly because I’m always interested to read about breastfeeding – and so is she: The More I Learn about Breast Milk the More Amazed I Am. I appreciate that she focuses on how important actual physical proximity to one’s child is (that is, pumped breastmilk is great, but not as great as breastmilk from the breast).

 

Just a little review of a recent study revealing that certain proteins in the lungs of unborn babies trigger labor and birth. Further evidence that, whenever possible, it is best to let the baby tell us when he wants to arrive.

 

Speaking of timing, I recommend The Myth of Quality Time, in which a NYT columnist delivers the same message found in 65-75% of country music songs. (My calculations; quite precise, I assure you). Spoiler: if you want a strong relationship, it’s all about presence.

 

Speaking of little ones and timing, this blogger shares from experience about how preventing kids from getting their fair share of free play is disruptive to their development and learning. If you are generally on top of {b&p}, you know we don’t like to miss an opportunity to promote kids’ play. The Decline of Play in Preschoolers and the Rise in Sensory Issues. 

 

And speaking of play, I absolutely loved this professor’s thought-provoking reflection on what children’s play can be when we let it. I found it to be very helpful glimpse and it is my top pick for this week, despite good competition. (See Schall’s piece, below, for my second-to-top pick.) How to Ruin Children’s Play: Supervise, Praise, Intervene.

 

And finally, on the note of development: When Children Resemble Their Fathers. A short read. My favorite line: “I do not see how I can expect my children to become anything better than what they see in me. This should make me tremble.”

 

Other Misc:

For practical guidance on how to gain some chanting chops, see How We Should Sing — and Why People Don’t Sing from OnePeterFive.

 

So What’s the Big Deal with Starting a Sentence with So? Language and grammar geeks, among others, will relish.

 

Perhaps it will surprise some readers, and not surprise others, that we are squarely on team Kim Davis around here, even while recognizing that she wasn’t forced to do what she did. For an excellent explanation of why her move made sense – and not from a religious angle – please read this helpful analysis from one of the greatest contemporary minds, Fr. James Schall.

 

Need inspiration for the menu at that bar you’re about to start up in Brooklyn? Look no further than this Menu Generator, which can provide you with such promptings as “fennel reduction with crafted pork belly & miniature water” (for $13) at a place called “The Holmes” and, simply, $17 “kale” at a supposed bar known as The Aviation.

 

This is awesome. A Washington Post reporter issued the verdict that a MN county was the nation’s lowest rank, and received some substantial outcry from its residents in response. So he decided to go there, and recounted what it was like to actually meet what seems to me to be an excellent depiction of heartland, small-town glory. “I called this place ‘America’s worst place to live.’ Then I went there.”

 

In the Liturgical year:

Today we honor the beautiful name of Mary!

 

From the Archives:

Ask Auntie Leila: Some Homeschooling Talk

 

 

~We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).~


Follow us on Twitter.
Like us on Facebook.

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.
Rosie’s Pinterest.
Sukie’s Pinterest.
Deirdre’s Pinterest.
Habou’s Pinterest.
Bridget’s Pinterest.
Habou’s Blog: Corner Art Studio.
Auntie Leila’s Ravelry.
Auntie Leila’s Instagram.
Rosie’s Instagram.
Sukie’s Instagram.
Bridget’s Instagram.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Every Thursday, here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

Wichita-area readers! Auntie Leila is speaking tonight at Newman University. Come say hi!

{pretty}

This is my view from the kitchen; I keep the lights off as long as I can to enjoy the last rays of sunlight heading over the trees.

{happy}

After-dinner chats with my baby girl.

My big boy taking the lead on dessert for his visiting grandparents.

I convinced them they don’t always need boots and raincoats to play in the puddles.

{funny}

My kids love (love) mopping.

I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but I am not complaining. (Except perhaps about how seldom my floors are actually clean, despite their enthusiasm…)

{real}

And this glamorous shot is the inside of my dryer after I removed the very large load of whites (of course), which included several favorite articles of clothing (naturally), more than one brand new baby outfit (sigh)… and a busted black pen.

My long-suffering husband scrubbed the dryer with rubbing alcohol and nail polish remover (result: it’s still stained, but nothing more seems to be coming off. We’ve cautiously resumed our regularly scheduled drying schedule), and I am still hoping to salvage a few key items that got hit particularly badly.

So, feel free to hit me with your best ink stain-removing advice. (Sukie had this happen painfully recently, and says they had the most luck with rubbing alcohol: put an old towel underneath the stained clothing, rub, and pray.)

I and my spotted clothing are all ears!

[image error] Loading InLinkz ...

Finishing the quilt on the car ride. As one does.

Quick note: We’ve posted a new page with the booklists we recommend — it’s under “Library Project” and hooray for having them all in one place!

 

So yes, I was quilting in the car. Luckily I had hours before my turn at the wheel came.

And I didn’t actually finish, but had to put in those last stitches while we were there, while chatting and enjoying the visit before the baptism.

 

Have thread, will travel!

 

This baby quilt concept is brought to you courtesy of the committee of two, myself and Aunt Bridget. She has finally semi-resigned herself, when she’s home, to being dragged on fabric-shopping trips and fulfilling the role of consultant. She definitely helped me tie in the fabrics I loved — the whimsical print (see the little animals??) and the backing.

Good thing she was there, or I would still be swirling around in the maelstrom of fabric choices.

My aim in quilts for kids (my own and my grandchildren and even the occasional non-family member for whom I can muster up the wherewithal to make a quilt, behind as I am — and I wish I could make one for each and every child!) is to make it somewhat portable.

A child should have a quilt that can be thrown on the floor for family movie night in the den —  or over him while he convalesces on the sofa. It could be part of the bedding but also his own little comfort zone wherever he may be.

In theory, it could go to college too, although probably little animals, zoos, cowboys, and cars won’t be choice decor for a dorm, but I simply can’t commit to making a quilt for each stage in the child’s life, because that would be crazy. Right?

FX’s turned out a wee bit larger than this, due to my inability to count up squares. Still, I think it could be dragged.

PJ’s is more suitable for a stroller ride and, of course, covering him in bed if he so chooses. I don’t like to impose decorating choices on people, which is part of what takes me so long to make a quilt!

As usual, and as you might be able to predict based on these complicated musings, my process was not linear.

I wanted the print with the animals to be featured as panels, going right across the quilt top, but got confused when I moved from Plan A to Plan B with the triangles, based on how many I had — because of course I just bought material and THEN figured out what to do with it, since calculating beforehand “takes too much time.”

So I originally planned to have three panels in front, but the eventual evolution of a pinwheel arrangement of the half-square triangles, which I thought was so cute, dwindled the panels down to two, unbeknownst to me.

Yes, the patches have a will of their own.

Thus, left with a stray panel, I decided to migrate it to the back. Which actually, I like.

 

I used red pearl embroidery thread to quilt. That goes fast, which is nice, and looks handsome. (I talk about this kind of quilting in this post about Molly’s baby quilt.)

 

Of course, it’s maybe not making sense on the back, but that’s how that cookie crumbles.

Just two more grandchildren to go, quiltwise! Although you know the flaw in that thinking! Never mind, It’s all good.

Have you made anything lately?

How to remove mildew stains! ~ {bits & pieces}

The regular “little of this, little of that” feature from Like Mother, Like Daughter!

 

 

What is this a picture of?

A kitchen towel with no mildew spots.

Finally I remembered to take pictures of this process, this immensely important discovery I have made of removing mildew stains.

(Not that easy to photograph, either, so thank you for bearing with me here.)

The worst has happened. You’ve somehow left a towel or bib or blouse damp and wadded up. Days later you find it and — Little black spots. Ugh. Nothing will get those spots out, you think. You’ve tried bleach, oxyclean, vinegar, vinegar and baking soda, magic witch hexes, and every other laundry remedy including sunshine, and you know that once you have those spots, that’s it, game over.

It may be that you need to throw that thing away. Other than rust, I don’t know of a harder stain. Until recently, that’s what I did. Just gave it up for lost.

But a while back I had an aha moment. If I’m going to throw it away, might as well try the last-ditchest of last-ditch efforts, right? So that’s what this is.

A really hard-core solution. Don’t be shocked. It works — or it doesn’t and you throw the item away.

Which is what you were going to do anyway.

 

Where we live it can be damp, and we do have a problem with mildew. Having used this product to remove mildew from the grout in the shower, I know it works.

So, I thought, why not go ahead and spray that mildewy towel? The heavy-duty bleach spray will definitely bleach out anything it falls on that is not resistant, so you have to be careful. It’s a strong, powerful, dangerous chemical — a solution of last resort, when you have black in your bathroom and need to get rid of it.

And, if you spray it on these spots, they will disappear. Most towels are bleach-resistant — they have to be, because people need to bleach them, most cities put a little bleach in their water, and often people take towels to pools, which of course are chlorined up. Some other articles of clothing are either white or bleach-resistant, and you won’t know until you try! The fact is, you were going to throw it away, so why not? And for something like a bib, I’d rather have it be bleached out than mildew-spotted. A faded bib or towel is no biggie. Remember, you were going to chuck it!

Just get the item wet, spray the spots and let sit for a bit — not too long, because even bleach resistant things will not withstand a long soak in the stuff. Then rinse out and wash.

It has worked for me many a time! Just be sure you aren’t wearing your favorite jeans or shirt when you do it, and watch what’s behind the thing when you spray.

On to our links!

Thursday was the feast of St. Gregory. So far I have left it up to you to intuit why I love him so much and consider him a patron of our blog — hopefully you are on this wavelength! Anyway, somehow I came across a Mass being said for the patronal observance of this congregation. Pope Benedict had set up the Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of Peter for the reception of Anglicans and Episcopalians into the Roman Catholic Church, making it as easy as possible for that to happen. This small group of people comprising St. Gregory’s began their discernment in 2010, and with their pastor, are Catholics now temporarily worshiping at a parish church an hour away from us.


Anyway, the Mass was so beautiful! If you are anywhere near, do see if you can worship with this congregation. It’s not only for Anglicans or Episcopalians — any Protestant interested in the Catholic Church would be particularly welcome, and of course any Catholic can join them as well.


The language used in the Mass is the English of the Book of Common Prayer. The singing at this particular (sumptuous) liturgy was the Palestrina Missa Tu Es Petrus (“You are Peter” — to honor the feast of a great Pope) — the choir was sublime. What a worthwhile trip, which is good, because it was one of my “bright ideas” to drive out there in rush-hour traffic — the kind that doesn’t always pan out!

In other news,

Philip Zaleski gives his college students a peculiar little test. Does everyone have a scale of values? Have people progressed beyond the need for moral absolutes? What does taking these little tests reveal about hierarchy and the line of battle clearly drawn in our time? A good read.


Speaking about St. Gregory, David Clayton offers a fascinating study of a painting of that great saint, and some thoughts on how the end of all education is supernatural — ought to lead us to the Good.


At the Anglican Use Mass, they use Anglican chant. Chant is a universal feature of worship, or was until the modern era, did you ever think about that? It’s true — music for worship isn’t exactly a matter of individual preference, no matter what we think. Until you study the question, it’s hard to understand how creativity is essential but innovation isn’t, and how the form of music at worship makes a difference. This article is a fantastic reference of Church teachings on the subject.


A reflection on a mysterious woman — Francis, the wife of G. K. Chesterton. If she inspired him, she must be amazing, right?


I can’t say I know much about this particular pediatric physical therapist, but this post made sense to me. Babies need to stretch and move about, and if they are always carried and kept in “containers” they will languish.


On a lighter note, an interview with the man behind the satire site Eye of the Tiber. Funny interview, funny site. “Report: Some 2nd Century Roman Christians Hated Latin Mass Because It Was Said In The Vernacular”


The cartoon short — a wordless whimsical little film — captures life and presents it to us for pure enjoyment. It’s truly an art form! Comedy at its best. I loved this one — the whole family will love it.

Don’t forget to come say hi in Wichita!

From the archives:

Judging from my email, trying to keep from looking like you took a roll through the Salvation Army with your eyes closed look good is on some of the minds of our readers. This post is about looking good after the baby, but the principles are for all the time.


Do you do a lot of hand-sewing? I have a method to keep your hand from cramping. I use it all the time.

Today is celebrated (“at present”) as Mother Teresa of Calcutta’s feast day. Read her inspiring life here. Happy feast day!

~We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).~

Follow us on Twitter.
Like us on Facebook.

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.
Rosie’s Pinterest.
Sukie’s Pinterest.
Deirdre’s Pinterest.
Habou’s Pinterest.
Bridget’s Pinterest.
Habou’s Blog: Corner Art Studio.
Auntie Leila’s Ravelry.
Auntie Leila’s Instagram.
Rosie’s Instagram.
Sukie’s Instagram.
Bridget’s Instagram.

 

{pretty, happy, funny, real} ~ Keeping You Informed edition

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Every Thursday, here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

First order of business, things I have to tell you:

I will be in Wichita next week!

Will you be there? It is in the exact center of the continental United States, as the Chief keeps telling me, so you have no excuse not to come! Thursday, 7:00 pm, in the Dugan Gorges Conference Room of Newman University. I will be speaking on Order and Wonder in the Christian Family. There will be time for “Ask Auntie Leila” afterwards, as well as a chance to buy The Little Oratory and have me sign it if you like.

I will also be in Houston next month. I am staying a whole week. I’m speaking twice at Our Lady of Walsingham Parish, and I hope to see you there! I know Houston is big, so if your parish, radio station, mothers’ group, homeschooling group, couples’ group, or what have you is looking for a speaker, let me know. I will be busy with the talks I am giving, not to mention cuddling Freddie, so if you think you can swing it, contact me soon.

Yesterday I posted starting to establish ritual and courtesy at the dinner table.

Working on these two aspects will help you with what I know is the trial of figuring out what the family will eat, shopping, and preparing meals — all in a timely and frugal manner (how do I know? Because I always find it tricky as well!).

I will be answering comments, but I just want to remind you that I have lots of posts about all the particulars. Not only Making Menus (plus shopping), Being Efficient About It and Not Worrying, but also Disciplining the Children, Giving them Chores, Why and How to eat Dinner Together, Including the Barbarians You Live With (with the best tip of all for really enjoying dinner-time conversation!), Quelling Picky Eaters, and Even How to Eat Together When They Get Older and So Busy. I may not have downloadables, printables, and flashy graphics, but I really think that my methods help you find peace while whipping everyone into shape building your community of life and love.

Here’s the thing. If you and your husband work on training and commanding just a wee bit of respect from the children (and each other), you will find that the details of how to do it fall into place. Not easily, and not all at once. But little by little! Why? Because, being respected and released from affirmation-seeking, you will have the confidence to do your job.

Today is the Feast of St. Gregory.

We chose him as the patron for our “Pockets” because in him we find the model for being a faithful person in the midst of the world, with all its woes — not to be overcome by the darkness but to be a light for others. He stands for beauty, music, rescuing those enslaved, and taking Christ to the city — as well as living a life of prayer and union with Our Lord, St. Benedict-style. I think he’s the perfect solution for the Benedict vs. Dominic Optioners (withdraw or go forth?), and I plan to develop my very own Gregory Option to convince you. Meanwhile…

That reminds me to remind you:

That earlier this summer, Deirdre encouraged you to have your St. Greg’s Pocket meetings and take pictures! I hope you have been doing that, but if you forgot, you have a week to take them and send them to us. She’s going to post about it shortly after Labor Day and she will include your snapshots if you like! So don’t be shy — go ahead and have an “in real life” get-together with some like-minded people (all women, all men, couples, during the day with kids running around, in the evening over a glass of wine — up to you!).

I know that for most of you school has started and you are busy. But quick — have a meeting — this Labor Day Weekend maybe? and plan what you will do this fall. Read a series from the blog? A Church document? A great book? Will you go apple picking? Just hang out? Send us a shapshot!

I thought I’d make my {pretty, happy, funny, real} this week about pictures from our Pocket meetings — this one happened not to have very many ladies there, which gave me the chance to snap a couple of pictures — there’ve been times we’ve had a driveway gridlock of vans and Suburbans! You can see that regardless, there is a veritable horde of children running around.

We’re reading The Spirit of the Liturgy by Joseph Ratzinger (who became Pope Benedict XVI of course), and our discussions have been intense, lively, and inspiring.

{pretty, happy, funny}

{funny}

The Chief, in particular, gets a kick out of the Suburban line-up.

[image error] Loading InLinkz ...

The secret to planning menus.

Ask Auntie Leila!

We’ll start with a reader’s question and then I will tell you the secret that will set you on your way to success in homemaking.

Dear Auntie Leila:

I’m a new reader to your blog and LOVE it. Pardon me if you’ve addressed something like this before and I haven’t gotten to it. I feel like I could keep your “Ask Auntie Leila” section in business for a long time to come, but since I’m currently trying to sit down and figure out what to feed my family, I’ll start there.

I loved your posts on “Dinner Every Day” but I can’t really get past the step of making a huge list of potential meals. My husband and kids aren’t much help. My kids, five years old and under, can’t tell me what they want to eat because their likes and dislikes seem to change from day to day! My husband says, “Make what you want!” I feel paralyzed when I sit down to think about it. I don’t like being in the kitchen anyway, so the thought of all the time I’ll be spending making this stuff AND THEN CLEANING IT ALL UP is depressing, to say the least.

Then the dilemma of what to make? Should I stick with fun and delicious, but decidedly not-healthy things? Grandma’s Jello fluff salad? Chicken/cream cheese pockets made with Pillsbury crescent roll dough? Nigella’s pasta? Or then there’s that diet plan I’d theoretically like to follow, to lose the last little bit of baby weight (or since I’m newly pregnant, to keep from gaining my usual 60 lbs).

Then there comes the question of will my kids even eat what I fix? If I make something they like one day, they’ll turn up their noses the next day, or one child will love it and the rest won’t touch it, which definitely adds some unpleasantness to our mealtimes. Or then there’s the health angle to consider — am I struggling with anxiety, depression, and exhaustion because I’m gluten/dairy/soy/sugar/food-intolerant and don’t know it? (Or is it just because I’m a constantly nursing or pregnant mom [sometimes both] and life is hard!) I used to eat anything, all the time, and it didn’t make me anxious. In fact, it was rather enjoyable. Should I be drinking kombucha and kefir and making my own homemade bone broth and fermented sauerkraut? Would that magically make me a new person?

And then don’t even get me started on the budget side of groceries. Yes, we are very poor and the less we spend on food, the better — but since sticking to a tight budget seems so impossible, we don’t even try! My husband says, “Spend what you need to!” and I take him up on it because why stress myself! Even though it still stresses me because I know we’re spending too much! Auuuggggh!!

Help!

Love,

Frazzled

Dear Frazzled — and all of you out there who KNOW you should be making menus, however simple (also known as planning what you will eat for at least a week so that you are not spending all day staring at a package of ground beef and wanting to run away to a circus or convent or anywhere where they will just plunk a plate in front of YOU) –

Dear Reader who needs help overcoming this obstacle to the first step of a life of peace and order, this step which is making the damn menus!

The secret that the French and the Finns and all the other cultures with which we are daily browbeaten, who are so superior to us and never feel overwhelmed by the necessity of feeding their families:

First and foremost, the secret:

Every person in the house must be polite and respectful and grateful for whatever food they are served.

If they don’t like it, that’s okay. Lots of people don’t like lots of things. They can even let you know what their preferences are. But it must all be done kindly and with courtesy.

Talk to your husband about training the children to speak respectfully to you about the food. It will require both of you, but you can do it. It won’t happen on its own. Training must occur and you must do the training. It will take time and not happen overnight.

But one day you will realize that it’s a pleasure and not the burdensome task you imagine to plan your menus (relatively speaking) because it’s a pleasure to sit down and eat with your family.

How to bring this impossible state of affairs about? Auntie Leila will take you through the steps.

1. Talk to them beforehand about what they are and are not allowed to say. Begin by saying, “We don’t say that about the food.” Work up to making it clear that if ONE WORD that is not polite comes out of their mouth — “Oh gross.” “Yuck!” “I hate this!” “I’m not eating this!” etc. — they will leave the room. You will know when enough is enough.

I would not threaten loss of dessert. We are trying to cultivate true enjoyment here (see #4). Simultaneously, give them the exact script that you want to hear from them. “This looks delicious.” “Thank you, Mama.” “I like the [mention something they do like here]” “You are a good cook, Mama.” “Don’t worry about the burned green beans, Mama, it’s okay.” (This last one often has to be said to me, for some reason.)

An option: SILENCE.

 

2. Surround your meals with ritual. Whether, as sometimes happens, you feed the children first or they are sitting with you at supper, and no matter how simple the meal, have the table set beforehand (note I do not say YOU set it beforehand — distribute tasks as necessary and possible). Light a candle.

Teach them not to eat until Mama has sat down. Daddy has to do this. He must wait for his beloved wife to collect herself. Of course, he has pitched in with the prep and then sat down himself to model patient waiting. When Mama sits, he leads grace.

For a ritual to occur, you must be prepared. It’s up to you to realize that every single day you actually will need a drink, glasses, napkins, silverware, serving utensils, salt, pepper — a whole host of things! Instead of getting those items after everyone is seated as if visited by a daily revelation regarding these matters, think it through beforehand. Keep the things close to or on the table, possibly on a tray. Minimize fuss at the table by supplying what is necessary with forethought. Try not to be continually surprised by the things you need.

Even the other meals need a bit of ritual, appropriate to their lesser status, but still.

It’s not a feeding trough of beans, garnished with a couple of dead dogs, as Basil Fawlty says. It’s a meal.

If you take care of the details beforehand, you will notice that when you sit down and pray, there is peace. The agitation comes from jumping up, not being ready, and general disorder.

 

 

3. Every member of the family should bend over backwards to be sure that every other member is well supplied with what they need and also what they prefer. I have a friend who says that her father would take the sweet part of the watermelon on the grounds that he was the father. Well, this is not my experience of fatherhood, based on how my husband acts. He holds back and makes sure that I have what I like. If left to himself he takes the least appealing portions. He notices what the quantity of food is and how it will be distributed. I usually have to urge him to take the last bite — actually, I have to watch like a hawk lest all my family members leave at least what amounts to one small serving, no matter what the quantity of food has been, such is their consideration.

A priest friend, a monk from a large family, mentioned the principle of FHB — “Family Hold Back.” This means that when there are guests, the family already has awareness that something might run out, and so they hold back to be sure that the guests have enough. A simple principle of hospitality. This kind of courtesy comes with practice! Practice with each other.

Young children can be taught to jump up and get the butter or the marmalade. Rowdy boys can be encouraged to pick up someone’s dropped napkin. Older kids who aren’t absolutely riveted by the adults’ discussion of the latest world crisis can take the baby for a turn.

 

Here is my dear friend Emily’s solution to one of the tasks. This honestly never occurred to me, and likely won’t be possible when the family is larger and there are often extra people at the table, but I think it’s delightful. Later, another one can be added and they can be kept on a sideboard nearby.

4. Let’s enjoy the food, however humble it is. The issue with grumpy children — and I have written about this before — I know it isn’t the only issue, but it is a big one — is that we parents (and mothers in particular) are not feeling free to enjoy our meal and be confident that we did our best, however humble. We are hovering over our children with great anxiety that they a) eat enough to ward off expiration and b) affirm and approve of us. We somehow feel that our worth as parents hinges on how they behave at the table, and yet we do not supply them with the proper behavior or even attitude. Thus, grumpiness occurs.

If someone truly does not like something, they can, if asked, answer, “It’s not my favorite.” That is the extent of the negativity! For instance, if offered more liver and onions (after their one bite which they must eat unless you know it’s a real aversion), the child may observe, “No, thank you, I’m full.” If pressed, he might say, “It’s not my favorite.” They can certainly have more of whatever else is offered. However, and see #3, they can’t hog the real delicacies, because that is rude.

 

5. When finished (and for a small child, this might be in 10 minutes), the cook should be thanked. “Thank you, Mama, for this nice meal.” When your husband thanks you, thank HIM for being a good provider. (Remember Ma and Pa? So gracious to each other, while eating corn pone and salt pork or some such starvation meal.)

At least implicitly, we should be thanking God all over again, and there are those who say a little grace after the meal as well. It can be as simple as “Thank you, dear Lord.” I remember my own father, who was not Christian, saying this prayer after the meal. You can go on sitting there and enjoying the food and conversation with whoever is left, that’s fine. See this post for how children leave the table and what is expected of them.

Wait, that’s one secret?

Yes. Having a culture of kindness and good manners. I’m just telling you HOW to get that culture.

Once you institute this culture or feed it if you already possess it, you will find that you feel much more free to plan your meals.

You won’t worry as much about who will or will not like what you decide on. Since with my method you are consulting your family (or observing them if they really aren’t forthcoming) and taking their preferences into account, your fairness with them meets with good will from them.

Only, you have to teach them that good will. I’m giving you a sketch — feel free to do it according to your own family style!

But warning: Do not fall into the trap of thinking that the family style is to have no manners. No way.

Once you plan your meals, you have an amazing amount of time and a lot of confidence quickly to take care of the other tasks that face you, including addressing the issue of getting kids to help.

And then your environment — which is the key to educating your children — is orderly and thus, open to wonder!

See?

Manners (kindness and courtesy) are the secret.

Yes, dear Frazzled, I think you will benefit if you read the menu posts one by one and try to internalize what I’m saying. You will really get things in order if you try to make some lists. You can probably make all the things you are dreaming of… one at a time. Let’s be patient with ourselves and you know what? It’s okay to ask the family to be patient with us too. Kindness and courtesy.

 

 

As to the children, read the post about picky eaters — lots more detail there. Keep what you feed them simple, making sure that you serve it up without looking for affirmation, but with a good amount of ritual and also help from them. I’ve written all about it.

One thing at a time. Worrying about it all at once is a good way not to succeed. Read my post about “competence vs. perfection” and think about how to establish a good rhythm in your day so that you know what to expect.

Most of all, let’s enjoy each other, the good food, and life.

Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith. ~ Proverbs 15:17

{bits & pieces}

The regular “little of this, little of that” feature from Like Mother, Like Daughter!

Yesterday we dropped herself off at school.

Taking the selfie: Bridget: “I look like I’m crying.”

Me: “Well, try to look like you don’t hate education.”

I jest, because as her books were arriving, the excitement was building. I’m really grateful for her chance to grapple with the greats at Thomas More College, one of those precious places in life that is bigger on the inside than on the outside.

Still, we will miss her around here…

Did you wonder what that substance in the jar was when I posted the other day?

I meant to tell you, and actually you showed no curiosity whatsoever (you probably knew), but I will tell you anyway: starter for bread.

There were lots of doings in the kitchen that day. The base for the starter is potato water (simply save the water you cook your mashed or boiled potatoes in) and the bread is yummy. (This first of the two pizza-making posts will show you the method for the dough — just shape into loaves rather than rolling out for pizza after the first fermentation and rise, let rise a little, slash, and bake at 400* for 50 minutes. For this “country-style” loaf I added a couple of tablespoons of molasses, which I think is recommended in this book, Artisan Baking, which I got out of the library maybe 10 years ago and worked through.)

This week’s links:

Cute video, super short, file under “what is the internet for, anyway”: A horse goes for a walk.


Great video of Dads saving the day.


Yet, a Dad might just sit there in his wheelchair and still save the day. Despite appearances in this post, I’m a really hard sell for videos. I would way rather just skim a written story than watch even a short video. But this one is a must-see. Yes, the product these amazing engineers developed is impressive. But most of all, watching this wife take care of her husband — and watching him accepting her care, which might be harder —  is a tutorial in true love. The technology that helps him enables us see their devotion, which is a real gift.


The photo in this article about cultivating a daily prayer life caught my eye — is it? Why yes, it is!

Lots of you are scrambling to start your homeschooling year.

If you are wondering if homeschooling your children — or even just raising them well while others school them — will make you go insane, this one post really rounds up many of my thoughts, practical and theoretical, on the project. Click on the links embedded and work your way through the tabs. I even made sure (well, I tried) that the links will open in tabs!


After that post I wrote a few more: this one on imaginative literature, this one on history and the young child, this one with a few more tips for the older student.


There are many posts in the archives about education. Look for them under “education” and also “The LMLD Library Project.”

Here’s the thing. You might want the chipper assurance of one long post with all the homeschooling answers. I have found that it doesn’t quite work that way. This business of the education of children — it’s the business of your life (if you have children). It can’t be solved in a day or with a one-size-fits-all and someone-else-thought-through-it-so-I-don’t-have-to program. Certain components will be that way, thankfully. But the whole enterprise is one that each family must work hard at to figure out. This whole blog is an attempt to help with that — it really is going to take time and thought and prayer.

Listen — don’t worry. Just being together and living family life is a good education in itself. You will do very well.

Today in liturgical news, Pope Francis is beatifying Syriac-Catholic Bishop Flavien-Michel Malke, martyred for refusing to convert to Islam.

“One of the bishop’s most striking phrases, his postulator said, comes from when he was pressured renounce the faith and to convert to Islam. ‘Rather than giving in, the bishop replied, “I will defend my faith to the blood.”’ “

And let us remember the Passion and Beheading of St. John the Baptist. This memorial takes on a deeper meaning with all the different beheadings we are reading about in the news. If we are going to suffer, let us suffer for the Savior. But let’s not be the inflicters of suffering on others, we pray to the Lord.

And happy anniversary to dear Nick and Natasha!

~We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).~

Follow us on Twitter.
Like us on Facebook.

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.
Rosie’s Pinterest.
Sukie’s Pinterest.
Deirdre’s Pinterest.
Habou’s Pinterest.
Bridget’s Pinterest.
Habou’s Blog: Corner Art Studio.
Auntie Leila’s Ravelry.
Auntie Leila’s Instagram.
Rosie’s Instagram.
Sukie’s Instagram.
Bridget’s Instagram.