Leila Marie Lawler's Blog, page 61

{bits & pieces} and a Beatitude

The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

“Only the chaste man and the chaste woman are capable of true love.”

This sentence was written by Karol Wojtyla, the man who would become John Paul II, beloved Pope and saint, in his book Love and Responsibility, the precursor to his great work on Christian anthropology — Man and Woman He Created Them.

I read the quote somewhere and it took me by surprise. I think things have changed in the last ten years or so. I think that a sentence like this now elicits an interior pause in someone who has been exposed to the rising powers of Political Correctness… do you feel it? A little moment — hardly a moment — before you assent? To that “only”?

Maybe it’s just me. But I feel it.

He doesn’t say, “Only the chaste man and the chaste woman can love each other,” although that’s implicit. (He definitely does not say, “There are many ways of loving that can co-exist with a lack of chastity.”) He says “are capable of true love.” Full stop. Love of… anything and everything! Of God!

Of course, right away, you know it’s a way of saying something Jesus Christ said: “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8) For seeing — contemplation — is how we possess God in this imperfect world of ours. Josef Pieper, in Happiness and Contemplation, quotes Augustine: “Our whole reward is seeing.” And the epigraph of the book, from Konrad Weiss, is this: “Contemplation [seeing] does not rest until it has found the object which dazzles it.”

That seeing, which is the ultimate acceptance of the gift of God, can only be acquired by means of a pure heart — of chastity, in short.

So this is what I’ve been thinking about, on and off, for the more than a week since I read the quote.

I just wanted to tell you.

This week’s links:

The idea that seeing, contemplation, and purity of heart that allows us to receive the gift of God may be hard for us to understand or accept because we are functional modernists (we can hardly help it, so surrounded are we). Read this St. Peter’s List of points: 4 Steps to Understand the Crisis of Modernity.


Benedict on how to read St. Thomas Aquinas (the guide for “seeing/contemplation” and also from St. Peter’s List).


Liturgical terrorists can be stopped! “[The tambourine player] was not filled with the Holy Spirit,” explains the deputy who tased her.


Seems helpful: A list of states that ban those community bans on clotheslines. So you have the winter to figure out your drying yard!


A map of Europe according to culinary horror! If you click on the feed, you will find all sorts of maps. Not vouching for any of it but it’s amusing.


Ronald Reagan, with his customary self-deprecation, on his flawed baseball career: 100 Years of Ronald Reagan and Baseball.


As soon as Rosie and I saw this story, we loved it: High school boys serving as pall-bearers at funerals for homeless veterans. I saw other, similar stories as well. Did you know that burying the dead is a corporal work of mercy? What a wonderful act of service these boys are providing. I am ashamed to say I never thought of it.


I think this article about mis-diagnosing autism is well worth a read. I guess I want to say that in general, to navigate parenthood one must cultivate two things: observation and study of human nature (especially children and their development, but also in experts and their ways) and a certain confidence in one’s judgement.


A good long read, possibly related to my musings above: J. Budziszewski on Natural Law Revealed.

 

I was working in the garden this week, putting the beds to bed and pulling out dead stuff.

In addition to the many, many butternut squashes that I harvested last month, I found these last three as I was cleaning up:

This little display seems to constitute my Halloween decorations.

Enjoy the day! We would love to see your Halloween pictures in {pretty, happy, funny, real} — tomorrow or next week!

Also, on Monday I hope to have a fun giveaway of Drinking with the Saints: The Sinner’s Guide to a Holy Happy Hour for you!


From the archives:
Ten ways to give your child the gift of purity. 
The best way to cook your squash — no peeling of hard skin, no scooping of slippery seeds, and the deepest flavor.


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{pretty, happy, funny, real}

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Every Thursday, here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

{pretty}

Our front rosebush is just excited about this beautiful fall weather as we are. Helllooo, reasonable temperatures! How lovely to see you here at last!

I spent nearly every morning last week working in the garden, trying to get it into shape before things get cold. Our front garden held a water feature when we first moved in, which we later ripped out (because we may be many kinds of crazy, but it turns out we’re not Water Feature Crazy) in favor of the oh-so-elegant Dirt Pile landscaping feature.

The kids loved the Dirt Pile, and so we just went with that for a long time, but the neighborhood cat loved it too. Ew. And so did the wasps. (Add to the list of Ways Rosie is So Much Tougher Because of Living in Oklahoma: I had a large colony of cicada killer wasps living by my front door this summer. Cicada killers are, according to the Internet, not particularly aggressive, but they are, according to my experience, Enormous. Really. Large. Wasps. And we coexisted. Because apparently I am tough now.)

The Dirt Pile had to go.

RIP, Dirt Pile.

Long live the front garden.

That’s not a great picture of the garden, but it’s a pretty hilarious one of Molly, who was not asked to pose — that’s just Molly being Molly with her walking stick and her flower and her deep thoughts.

Anyway, we’ve got some herbs, roses, a few native plants, and lots of bulbs, so here’s hoping that it looks somewhat respectable come spring.

{happy}

We love brussels sprouts around here, and usually I just roast them with salt and olive oil, because that’s easy and delicious and basically a surefire way to eat pretty much any vegetable. But I already had a chicken roasting in the oven (spatchcocked, laid on a bed of potatoes and onions and garlic — again, easy and delicious!), and my oven isn’t big enough to do both at once. And I was feeling like I was in a little bit of a rut, side dish-wise.

So here’s what I did instead:

I minced a few strips of bacon and tossed them into my cast iron pan on medium-high heat. (Which I’m not in the habit of using, actually, but was inspired to take out again from my mom’s post the other day.) As they crisped up, I washed and trimmed my brussels sprouts, and cut them in half. When the bacon was about 80% crispy, I turned the heat down a little, added my sprouts, and quickly turned them in the pan so they were flat-side down as much as possible.

While I let them get nice and brown (don’t touch them for 3-4 minutes so they can get that delicious golden sear), I washed and chopped some mushrooms, and then added them to the pan as well, stirring occasionally, and adding salt and pepper. Finally, I deglazed with some white wine (apple cider would also be delicious — as would chopping up an apple and adding it after the mushrooms!), lowered the heat again, and covered the pan for a few minutes to allow the vegetables to steam a bit more until they were crisp-tender.

Very quick and simple, but oh-so-tasty, and just a little more interesting to go with our chicken for Sunday dinner.

{funny}

In other garden news, remember how I showed you this tomato plant in July, when it was growing like a banshee and producing flowers but no fruit?

It never did give me a single darn tomato, but it’s still growing. I gave up on it months ago, but the kids like to water it, so I just let it do its thing. It keeps growing big enough to topple over (despite staking), at which point I hack off big sections so it doesn’t shade my basil (see what’s hanging over onto the ground now? I’ve hacked off at least that much already), and it just starts over with new growth from the roots. Still occasionally blooming, still no fruit.

(Go home, tomato plant, you’re drunk!)

{real}

All this boy wants to do these days is climb trees, and I’m finding it a struggle to balance my desire to let him be adventurous with my desire for him not to break his neck. Is it the mother cat in Milo and Otis who I’m thinking of? “Raising boys is very simple. It’s very important to stay calm, and never ever raise your voice, and always to maintain… GET AWAY FROM THAT TREE!”

(For instance, you might look at that picture and wonder to yourself, “what is that boy even standing on??” I asked myself the same thing. He was unconcerned and, in fact, on his way up higher.)

Playing “sleep” with beds for herself and her two bears.

My little sidekick has been doing a lot of growing lately. She really desperately wants to be big enough to run around with the big kids, but since she can’t, she contents herself with being held by me at every possible moment, day or night. At least we’ve been getting in some late-night reading — she can tell I’m really enjoying my book, and wants in on it, too.

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Green tomato chutney

 

Actually, we’ve had a couple of hard frosts and so this bed, below, looks quite different right now. But as of 10 days ago, this was the evidence of the mistake I made when trying to find a place for the last two tomato plants that just wouldn’t fit into the garden beds that you see in the background there — in the sun.

I know this.

I know that these beds (there are three) get the sun for too short a time. I know because of the trees and the leach field/hill that looms over them, as the days get shorter, the beds get even less sun than you would think. They are okay for kale and potatoes maybe.

Yet.

I persist.

Of course those two plants would prove to be the most prolific. Quite possibly it was that extra load of aged manure I put in there in the spring… But frost was coming, so the green tomatoes had to come inside! Bowls and bowls of them. Some will ripen on the counter, but the majority needed to be made into something…

I knew I wanted to make this chutney. Just a note: You could use green apples if you happen not to have been a silly head like me. In fact, chutney can really be made with anything that seems firm and a bit tangy, so don’t get too particular about this recipe. If you have hard-ish pears or peaches or mangos, go for it.

So fabulous with all sorts of things. We had it passed around to nestle next to our slices of baked ham this Sunday, and it was yummy. (And that is why there is even less pictured here than I made, a paltry few jars. This is how relishes end up being when all is said and done. Relishes and jams. They take a lot of fruits and veg to yield their little jars, don’t they?)

Full of deep acidic tang, thanks to the tomatoes, vinegar, and a finely chopped lemon (I actually used half a lemon and half a lime, just because they were already cut and why not?), and sultry spices, thanks to the cumin and coriander, chutney just rescues you when all you’ve done is just made plain things. But you know what? Plain things are good. And even better with a little zing!

 

As for the canning, I tried to describe all this process in this post in a way that I would have appreciated when I was overthinking things back in the day (I never do now). That is, detailed but helping you over the parts that seem clear to the initiated but opaque to the over-thinker.

The main thing is that when you have done it a few times, this step will cease to trouble/overwhelm/scare/otherwise defeat you and you can do it in a spare 1/2 hour, as I did last night, because after I made the chutney I realized I didn’t have the right sized jars (can you say “plan ahead Auntie Leila”). The whole thing can just sit in the fridge until you get it up to a boil again and then proceed with the canning.

For your information, these are half-cup jars and a very small spoon!

I still have more to go. Either I will make more chutney or maybe some relish. What are you making?

Green Tomato Chutney, Like Mother, Like Daughter

Makes about 3 cups. Maybe.

{A variation on the two basic recipes from the ever-helpful if quirky Joy of Cooking. For instance, it’s not probably going to cook down for 2 hours. And I’ve added spices. And sort of combined the two recipes. So.}

1 seeded chopped lemon (as I said, I used half a lemon and half a lime, but lime peel is much tougher than lemon peel, so be sure to truly mince it)

3 heaping teaspoons of ginger-garlic paste (go here for how to get this in your fridge — and see? I told you that you’d use it for everything — you immediately notice that the recipe calls for garlic and ginger and you save yourself a step)

5 or 6 cups green tomatoes, chopped (again, you can substitute green apples, hard peaches or pears, or whatever seems to be going to work here, including some red tomato, which I did — it really doesn’t matter!)

1 cooking apple, chopped (I like to use Macoun or a granny smith here — you need it to be firm)

1 cup of raisins (I used golden and dark, half and half)

1 medium chopped onion

3/4 cup dark honey (this was some of our boiled down honey from the harvest — you could use all brown sugar)

1 cup brown sugar (after all is mixed, see if this results in the sweetness of relish that you like — if not, add more)

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

2 cups cider vinegar

1 teaspoon red pepper flakes (this is a LOT for me and I consider this chutney to be right at the limit of what I can bear, but the others hardly noticed it)

1 tablespoon ground cumin

1 tablespoon ground coriander

1 tablespoon mustard seed (if you have it — I didn’t so you don’t see it in there, but it would be good)

Cook all of this up, simmering in a pot until the liquid gets syrupy and thickened. Joy says 2 hours, I say 45 minutes or so. In any case, keep an eye on it because you don’t want it to burn!

Put it into sterile, hot, small canning jars, seal, and put in a hot water bath for 10 minutes for little jars, 15 for pints.

And for such little jars, you can certainly use your normal 8 quart stock pot with a round cake rack in the bottom.

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{bits & pieces}

The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

 

Do you ever come away from the library as from away from a very successful, bargain-heavy shopping trip, thinking, “we made out this time!” But the library is better, because the house isn’t collecting any more stuff, because it’s books, and because no money has been spent (ba-dum-chish!). Love it.

But it’s not every time – at least not for us. Sometimes I do feel like, huh, we kinda struck out today. But this week’s trip was a good one and we have been so enjoying story time.

Would you be interested in hearing about what we’re liking from the library on such weeks? If so, I can try to remember to share on here. This week we are enjoying Mud is Cake, a very pleasing poem* about the world of the imagination featuring the best illustrations my David McPhail that I’ve ever seen (really a whole different level from the rest of his work that I’m familiar with); Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, as told by Jerry Pinkney (another favorite) because Finnabee requested that we get it as soon as I told her we were going to the library; and My Father Knows the Names of Things by Jane Yolen, which also has delightful illustrations by Stéphane Jorisch. (Others as well, but these are the stand-outs so far.)

*I actually alter the poem slightly when I read it aloud, because of a minor grammatical/meter choice that bothers me. But overall I think it’s excellent.

This week’s links!

Has it been too long since you’ve heard Auntie Leila’s voice? She was recently featured on the Homeschool Snapshots Podcast, so you can check that out here! Don’t forget that you can access all her podcast-y-type-stuff on this page.


For all JRR Tolkien fans, here’s a lengthy interview with the author himself. “I never expected a money success.” Auntie Leila says “he reveals himself to be a bit mischievous! And he also reveals that he intensely dislikes the medieval mind, which sheds light on the fact that he didn’t care much for C. S. Lewis’ fiction. I love Tolkien but I don’t’ think we should pay too much attention to him on this matter. Instead, read this.”

If you’re following the Synod

…and need a little input from us, here’s what we’re recommending as far as commentary:

Country Club Catholicism (something to avoid). From First Things.


Did Thomas More and John Fisher Die For Nothing? from the National Catholic Register


At the Synod, Truths of Christ are worth a Fight from Catholic Culture

Some humor:

A funny set of instructions for . (But she doesn’t address what to do when you want to pluralize and make possessive!)


My throat hurt from laughing after I watched this: if moms talked to each other the way we talk to our kids. Some helpful perspective on how we sound sometimes…


 From the Archives:


Related to that last link, on the topic of what tone of voice we use with our children:


Related to the C.S. Lewis link above: A Giveaway for C. S. Lewis Fans (the giveaway part is long closed, unfortunately, but the post is still interesting!)


Six Strategies for Sibling Rivalry


Library Project: Should Parent or Child Choose?


Today is the memorial of St. Anthony Claret, and, if you want to give him some particular love, the Archangel Raphael!


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{pretty, happy, funny, real}

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Every Thursday, here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

There are so many things on my mind.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we modern people can’t escape applying modern remedies to problems, even when the problems are modern ones to start with. So please forgive a little rumination with your {phfr} today.

I don’t mean modern in the sense of “technological.” Modern in the sense of separated from a sense of wholeness. I’ll call it a fatal anguish over the inability to connect with an authentic reference point outside of ourselves; often it’s anguish over the fact that others are experiencing this failure.

We can identify a lack of centeredness in our world, but our response is to try to convince ourselves and others of the importance of centeredness by means of plans and programs, our faith in which is rock solid — against experience! The more the programs increase our tension, the more we seem to have recourse to them. We have checklists for our checklists! We don’t notice that our precious plans drive people away.

When really, what we need to know is what Walter Bagehot advised: The way to keep old customs is to enjoy old customs.

That’s a laconic British way of packing a lot of wisdom into a little sentence.

Enjoyment is pretty hard to come by in our impatient, energetic times. To our sensibilities, enjoyment seems inimical to our serious and stressed way of approaching life. We suspect it. Seems wrong somehow. But…  give it a chance. The secret is in the part about “old customs.”

The oldest of all are the ones that relate to family life and to Liturgy, to worship. Begin with Sunday. Worship, celebration, rest. These are what will restore our spirits and bring the world back to its senses, with nary a program to explain it all. If you begin with Sunday, you will find that your whole week has a new meaning.

Live your Sunday! You will see how the world around you changes.

{pretty}

Picked the last of the zinnias before the frost… but didn’t get to the hydrangeas. Sigh. They were so pretty and now they are all brown.

{happy}

 

Of course he had to rub his white fur up against my fuzzy tights.

The honey is all harvested — that red box has the frames for the bees to clean, as described in the honey-harvest post by the Chief. (By the way, for contrast with this year’s late, dark honey, here are pictures of the capped honey frames from a harvest earlier in the season, five years ago. So different!)

{funny}

A vine that volunteered in the pepper bed turned out to be a single-fruited cantaloupe plant that missed the memo on timing (that is a cereal bowl there for scale):

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The honey harvest: A tutorial.

All year, in the back of our minds, it’s “how are the bees coming along?” and “Will there be a honey harvest?” Because first you keep them (and hope they don’t fly off or die) and then you check the honey (and hope there’s enough for them and us).

And they did so well this year, we got new ones as well, and we had the harvest!

My dear husband Phil, the Chief, is guest posting to tell you how it all went. We tried to be as specific as possible, so that you could picture it all in your minds. There are many places on the interwebs you could go to get info about bees. But I know you all like to hear us say it anyway.

With no further eloquence, here’s Phil!

On the beekeeping calendar, the happiest day of the year is harvesting day, when we bring in the season’s crop of honey. Would you like to walk through it with me?

The process begins a few days before the actual harvest day. But to help you understand, I’ll need to take you back much further.

My bees live in two brood boxes, where for most of the season the queen lays and the workers work, packing in pollen and honey. Once I’m confident that they have enough food stored for the winter, I add another box, called a super, in which they will collect surplus honey—just for us! [The blue ones on the left are supers ~ L]

The bees build their comb in the super, then gradually fill the comb with nectar. When that nectar is fully converted to honey—after the bees have reduced the moisture content to perfection—they cap the cells with a thin layer of wax. And when I see frames full of capped comb, I know it’s harvest time.

 

 

A few days before I plan to harvest, I put an escape board under the super. This ingenious device is probably my favorite piece of beekeeping equipment. It’s a board with a hole in the middle, and a simple maze underneath. When a bee goes down through the hole, she’ll run into a wall. If she turns to the left, she’ll go back to the super; if she turns right, she’ll go down into the brood box.

But here’s the thing:

When honey bees encounter an obstacle, they always turn to the right!

So within a day or two, most of the bees have left the super, clearing it out and making it ready to harvest.

On harvest day, I pull the super off the hive. It’s heavy! When I first put it on top of the brood boxes, full of empty frames, it weighed just a few pounds. Now it’s probably more than 50 pounds. That’s a good sign. After carefully brushing off the frames to remove the few remaining bees, I bring them indoors, and we’re ready to harvest.

We prefer to harvest in the evening, for a couple of reasons. First, when the sun goes down the bees go to bed, so they aren’t attracted by the smell. (We’ve tried harvesting in the daytime, but it’s unnerving to have bees constantly pinging off the screen windows, attracted by the powerful smell of the honey.)

Second, it’s a great time to have a few friends over, to enjoy the occasion and help crank the extractor.

 

The extractor is basically a centrifuge. Once the wax cappings are sliced off the frames, we whirl them around in the extractor. The honey is thrown to the sides, collects at the bottom, and then is drained out and strained. This year, because we were harvesting on an unusually cool evening, Auntie Leila thought to wrap the extractor in an electric blanket, to warm things up and make the honey flow a bit faster. Did it make a difference? I’m not sure. [I also got out the blow dryer to pump warm air in the extractor. Don’t know if it helped. ~ L]

It’s a long, laborious process. (That’s one reason why it’s nice to have different people taking turns, cranking away.)

A friend once observed that Mother Nature provides us with many different sources of sugar, but one way or another, we have to work for it. We spin and spin and spin and spin, check the frames, turn them around, and spin some more. It’s a messy, sticky business, too; you won’t want to wear your silk scarf. But licking the honey off your fingers isn’t exactly a hardship!

And when we finally open the tap (called a “honey gate”), and the elixir begins to flow out into the bottling bucket, it’s a beautiful moment.

 

This year’s product was a rich, very dark honey. Once we hit our stride, it just kept flowing. By the time we were finished there would be well over 3 gallons, or 40 pounds of the precious stuff.

 

We don’t sell our honey—we’re not in this for the money [I’d be happy to sell but so far we don’t get enough! ~ L] —but we should have enough to last us until the next harvest (and certainly enough to last until spring, when we’ll be harvesting our maple syrup), even after setting aside jars for family and friends.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. After the honey has been spun off the frames, it still needs to be strained, to separate out the bits of wax and pollen. We use two sieves, one finer than the other. Then Auntie Leila takes the waxy sediment caught in the filters, as well as what we’ve scraped off the frames, and after any remaining honey has dripped off, boils it down. (While she’s doing this, the entire house is suffused with a subtle, inviting smell of honey and wax.)

 

This produces two products: a disk of pure beeswax (pictured here still wet from the bowl), which we’ll mix with oil and use for polishing furniture and cutting boards; and a bowl of watery honey, which she’ll reduce and use for cooking. Finally, we use boiling water to clean out the extractor and bottling bucket. That water, too, is added to the pot to reduce.

There’s one more step in the clean-up process. All those frames, once thick with capped honey, are now sad sheets of torn-up wax with stubborn drops of honey still clinging to the cells. Fortunately I have recruited some volunteers to help clean them up. About 50,000 volunteers, in fact: the bees themselves. I put the ravaged frames back on top of the hive. The bees will eat the honey, clean up the wax, and within a day or two the frames will be ready to store for the winter and put back on the hive for next year’s harvest.

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{bits & pieces}

The weekly “little of this, little of that” feature at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

 

I’ve been in Houston where it was in the 90s, and now it’s fall here at home. I mean, I guess it’s fall there too, but having to put on a sweater and light a fire has made it more believable, I must say.

 

 

And this little guy — can’t resist the cuteness of Freddie!

 

 

So many links for you this week!

A longer read: William Edmund Fahey, President of Thomas More College, on how great books alone are not enough to make an education. “In [Aristotle’s] view, a good education must find the balance between the theoretical, the useful, and that which will form student in virtue. Aristotle admitted to being puzzled as to how one finds the balance. Would that Aristotle had encountered Christ.”

Old business:

Remember me telling you about St. Gregory the Great, the parish of the Ordinariate here in Boston? Well, their Verger came across my post, and his comments are gracious and have led me to some interesting posts on the community’s site:


What is a Verger, anyway? (Knowing the answer will enliven your boys’ games, as I am sure you have at least one destined for this role in your household. Swinging a mace to clear the crowds for a procession, anyone?)


The history of a Catholic hymn (and don’t get me started on the interjection of a supremely annoying, petulant feminist stanza (not by St. Gregory’s, don’t get me wrong!)).


If you are anywhere near Stoneham, MA — whether you are Catholic or only interested in checking out a beautiful Catholic liturgy — do visit St. Gregory the Great.

New business:

People were sharing this list on Facebook, and I guess the time has come — thank goodness — that it can be read un-ironically, at least by some! Learning to be a good Christian parent isn’t easy in our day and age, but maybe it will help.


Remember the discussion in The Little Oratory of the helical model of time — the idea that we aren’t enclosed in a circle (much less shooting out like an arrow) in time, but rather spiraling upwards in the liturgical year? Coming across this model of our solar system put me in mind of that image.


Speaking of the stars, the Navy has reinstated a course on celestial navigation, just in case the Captain’s iPad falls overboard.


Making a birth plan? There are so many articles out there to help you resist an unnecessarily medicalized birth. But just in case, don’t overlook a few key interventions you might want to avoid.


My “I can’t even” levels are shooting out of the roof on this one: “Translating” Shakespeare. Just. Don’t. (Instead, tell the story

first. Perfectly legit. Then proceed to actual, unadulterated, untampered-with, honest-to-goodness Shakespeare.)


On the other hand, Elizabeth Gaskell’s North and South gets a pretty hilarious upgrade in this post.


The Church is a loving mother and a bulwark of truth (1 Tim: 3:15), defending Scripture and everything else. This couple’s marriage was saved by the Church.

*Edited to add this information that I meant to include with the original post:

Dear Rebekah writes to say: My parish, the Shrine of Christ the King in Chicago, was recently devastated by fire. This church has been a beacon of hope and a jewel (with complete restoration in progress) of true Catholic culture in the midst of the city for a decade. Now, the roof is gone, as are the choir loft, many vestments, and our beautiful organ. Thanks be to God, no one was hurt, and they were able to rescue the Tabernacle with the Eucharist (completely unharmed!) and our 300-year-old Spanish statue of the Infant Jesus, along with some other things. We do not yet know how long it will take to rebuild, but we trust in the providence and the mercy of God. You can see pictures and get the full story here. A local news channel did a story on us, which you can see here. Facebook page with updates. And if your readers would be able to help us financially, here is our Go Fund Me page.

From the archives:

Should Parent or Child Choose? (Books, that is — advice on how and why to build trust in your choices of reading.)


Now is a nice time to introduce nature journaling to your children! (Did you see Rosie’s post? Did you know that you have until tomorrow night to add your {pretty, happy, funny, real} post or Instagram to the link up?) The key to the nature journal is to record certain things every single time: Date, place, temperature, clouds, etc.

Happy feast of St. Ignatius of Antioch! What you have to understand about him is that he was the one who succeeded St. Peter — yes, that St. Peter! –as Bishop of Antioch. Can you imagine how fresh his knowledge of the Church was?

 

~We’d like to be clear that, when we direct you to a site via one of our links, we’re not necessarily endorsing the whole site, but rather just referring you to the individual post in question (unless we state otherwise).~

Follow us on Twitter.
Like us on Facebook.

Auntie Leila’s Pinterest.
Rosie’s Pinterest.
Sukie’s Pinterest.
Deirdre’s Pinterest.
Habou’s Pinterest.
Bridget’s Pinterest.
Habou’s Blog: Corner Art Studio.
Auntie Leila’s Ravelry.
Auntie Leila’s Instagram.
Rosie’s Instagram.
Sukie’s Instagram.
Bridget’s Instagram.

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{pretty, happy, funny, real} ~ nature walk edition

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Every Thursday, here at Like Mother, Like Daughter!

{pretty}

I brought my camera along on our nature walk yesterday. This is one of our favorite local little trails — it’s a pretty sort of wilderness, but the paths are flat and wide enough for strollers and uncertain walkers. It’s also shady, which is rather unusual around here, but very welcome on hot days (we headed out while the morning was still cool, but even so, it was 91 by the time we got home for lunch).

Nora napped in the stroller while we explored gathering up some interesting leaves and branches, looking up a few trees in our field guide (we have several at home, but bring this dichotomous key along with us because it’s small enough to pop in your pocket, but smart enough to actually help you identify trees), and even spotting a few fawns along the way.

One of our homeschooling goals this year is to make a habit of these walks, and record our observations. Pippo and I each have our own little nature journal, which we enjoyed making our first entries in together last week. (That’s right, this was our second official nature walk of the year. We have done this a total of one (1) time so far, but are excited and enthusiastic beginning nature journalers. If you are nature journaling pros, please feel free to leave us your wisdom and/or links in the comments!)

(I forgot a blanket for her to sit on, which meant I was pulling a lot of leaves out of her mouth — the mouth-sweeping stage of babyhood.)

{happy}

This particular nature walk has the added bonus of a little playground at the end of one of the paths (jackpot!), though said path was so overgrown that we couldn’t actually get through this time. We had to go back and drive there instead, which was much less nature walk-y.

Eleanor graduated this week from mere observer playground status to playground level: baby swing. She’s totally pumped.

{funny, real}

Molly (whose outfit was slightly less ridiculous when we got her dressed in the morning, but whose post-breakfast mess left us with this fabulously two-year-old ensemble) devoted the first half of the nature walk to gathering rocks, which she started collecting in her skirt pocket.

(I made that skirt during some stashbusting crafting I did while pregnant with Nora from this free pattern from the Purl Bee.)

It didn’t seem to bother her too much that her rock collecting was causing something of a wardrobe malfunction, but eventually she did succumb to practicality and agree to throw them all off the next bridge.

Do you do nature journaling with your kids?

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Why We Love Being Medically Uninsured: Part 2

Yesterday I told you about why we love Samaritan (read that post here if you missed it!). Today I’ll tell you (as explicitly as I can) how it works.

Monthly Share

Each month, around the 5th, we receive our packet from Samaritan Ministries. The packet consists primarily of the Christian HealthCare Newsletter (their publication; see more below); the monthly prayer guide (includes a daily intention for various members of Samaritan, so we can keep each other in prayer); and a sheet personalized just for us telling us to whom we have been assigned that month, as well as information about Special Prayer Needs (see below).

Let’s say that this month, we’ve been assigned to send our monthly share to Mr. Joe Smith who underwent heart surgery. I write out my check to my assigned Mr. Smith, write a note to him and his family, and send it all along before the 15th of the month. I know that it is going to pay his doctor or hospital bill – simple enough.

I hang the prayer guide on our fridge and make note, as a reminder, that we should be praying for Mr. Smith this month – for his full recovery and the future health of his heart, etc.

The amount that we pay is the standard rate assigned to families with two parents. (See here about the straightforward rates.)

Special Prayer Need

On that same sheet where I read about Mr. Joe Smith, I also received an optional assignment for a “Special Prayer Need” (SPN): a member suffered something that they couldn’t submit to Samaritan as a Need because it didn’t meet the Samaritan Guidelines, or because it was a pre-existing condition, or for some other reason. But Samaritan still wants to enable us to help them out. Let’s say that this month my SPN suggestion is for Miss Jane Brown, who had major dental work (dental is not covered by Samaritan). If the other members and I all send along a small amount (usually $15 or $20 is suggested), her need will be met.

So I send that along as well. I go ahead and budget that in for our monthly expenses, as I see it as a concrete way to do a little charity each month and partake in the broader good work of Samaritan, and I hope that others would ‘do unto us’ if/when we’re ever in this position.

[It’s worth noting that, as I understand it, even members who enter Samaritan with pre-existing conditions (that are technically not covered) or other issues frequently enjoy coverage just through the generosity of members, thanks to the SPN program.]

The back of the sheet contains information about other members who also have SPNs, so that I can also send notes and/or financial help to anyone else if I am so moved.

~~

So that’s all for the month-to-month business. What about when we need to be on the receiving end? I have actually been wanting to write about Samaritan for a long time, but I thought that I should wait until I had experienced the receiving end of it before I gave it the hard sell. Here’s an example with our experience of having our “Need” submitted to the member network:

The medical incident occurs

Finnabee broke her leg. A fluke accident, a small wound (hairline fracture), and she’s all healed now.

We brought her to the Urgent Care center. She was treated there – including seeing the radiologist for x-rays – and then later at the orthopedist. She went to the orthopedist for a follow-up to have her cast removed. That’s a total of 3 separate visits related to this “Need.”

Thank God, we received excellent care. But, like all things in our lovely American medical system, that care involved lots of charges and bills and, ultimately cost close to $1400.

 

Gather the bills

I’m still in the process of submitting this Need, because, as you are probably aware, the medical machine moves very slowly. No one has come knocking or threatening debt-collection agencies; in fact, I had to hound the hospital to get them to send me the bills for this incident! And, with the payment plan that I have in place, it is a manageable flow of money; we haven’t been slammed with any one big bill at any time.

 

Negotiate Discounts/Pay Bills/Set up Payment Plan

For each bill, I have requested a discount. The folks at Samaritan actually provide helpful information about negotiating, which makes the process easier. (It’s usually as simple as, “I’m prepared to pay this bill/set up a payment plan, but I’m wondering if you offer a discount to uninsured/cash-pay patients?” or “If I can pay X amount of this bill now, could you reduce the total by 30%?”) The final cost of this incident is now reduced by $470.50. That’s $470.50 less that the whole Samaritan family has to foot – any discount that I can acquire is a win for all of us.

Here’s the big thing, though: remember how I said that the first $300 of any incident is on me? Well, it’s also true that any amount that I can negotiate down from the total bill goes toward that initial $300.

That means that, if I get a discount for $150 off of the total bill, I will only end up paying $150 in the end. In the case of Finnabee’s broken leg, since the total discounts added up to $470.50, I actually won’t end up paying anything for this incident. That is to say, I will pay the bills now but will be reimbursed in full by fellow Samaritan members.

That is why, as I mentioned, we didn’t end up paying anything for my maternity care with Peabodee (including prenatal care, birth, and post-partum care): the total discounts were over $300 when all was added up and accounted for.

Request a Need Processing Packet and Fill the Need Processing Form

As soon as something happens that I know will constitute a Need (or even if I’m not sure), I can call the Samaritan offices to discuss and request a Need Processing Packet. I receive it in the mail after about a week (the most recent one I requested came in four days!). I fill out the forms with the information about the incident.

Then I consolidate my bills, label each one, make a copy of each one, and include them – they need the originals so that I am providing proper proof of everything that has happened. I also write a note, if necessary, explaining the incident and any anomalies about the bills.

Finally, we bring the form to be signed by our parish priest. Every Samaritan member has to be answerable to their church leader, who witnesses to them being active, church-going Christians who adhere to the behaviors required by Samaritan Ministry guidelines.

Submit the Need to be Published

Once I organize the packet and send it in, they will receive and process it and let me know if there are any issues. Once it’s squared away on their end, they will “publish” it – that is, they assign our need to other members for their monthly shares. We know when that happens because the kind notes and checks start rolling in from people we’ve never met, but who we now know are praying for us!

If it turns out that something related to the same incident arises or another bill comes in, we can just get in touch with Samaritan again to submit a “Need add-on” form, and take it from there.

 

Keep Track Using the Checklist

When the checks start arriving, we log on to our online Samaritan membership account and access our “Checklist.” We make note of every check we receive from the members who were assigned to us, and we can see how many more we are expecting. So, while no member is legally required to send money to us, there is accountability here. If some members drop off on their giving, they won’t be eligible to have their Needs published – in effect, they will fail themselves out of the membership.

That is the whole process from start to finish! I’ve tried to spell it out in detail and I hope it makes sense, but feel free to ask me other questions in the comments and I’ll do my best!

 

Some other thoughts about belonging to Samaritan Ministries:

It’s a great deal for young people, especially families. It strikes me that we are getting the best end of this, being a young family who hope to grow. There is one fixed price for any family, so we will continue to pay the same monthly share whether we have the two kids or, ultimately, eight. Whereas insurance plans would charge us based on our number of dependents, Samaritan is looking like a great long-term deal for us.

I think the best time to jump on this would be if you’re a family and you’re basically in good health (that is, don’t have to worry about pre-existing conditions).

Any member household with a head-of-household under age 25 receives a discount, including singletons.

I love the newsletter. I have learned a lot from reading the Christian HealthCare Newsletter that’s included in our packet each month. There’s always interesting medical information from an independent (as opposed to insurance-company-beholden-mainstream) perspective, as well as inspiring stories from other members and helpful social commentary. Despite the fact that I do not always agree with the theology presented in some of the articles, I think that it is, overall, a helpful source of formation and information. It’s another factor in making me a smarter, more engaged health care customer.

I would actually encourage anyone who’s interested in Samaritan, but not planning on/prepared for joining, to subscribe to the Newsletter or just keep up online.

There is some work involved. There is a certain amount of paperwork to be handled and, as of now, it is mostly on physical paper (I know there are some plans to shift more of the process online, but I don’t know details). Sometimes this is a little cumbersome (especially when you don’t have a copier at home!).

There is a certain amount of keeping track – I’m learning that I might want to have my own system of, for instance, keeping an excel spreadsheet and maybe a separate file folder for every “Need.” I do have to stay on top of things to keep it all organized. If I had a lot of kids who were all in and out of the ER, I know I would have to establish a very efficient filing system and stay well on top of it.

That being said, I know that it can be a lot of work, including paperwork, to keep on top of an insurance plan as well, so I don’t think that that factor alone should deter anyone with normal circumstances.

Samaritan looks out for its members. There’s always word in the Newsletter about the latest angle that Samaritan is working on it help its members get good health care. So, for instance, while the ministry doesn’t cover dental or eye care, they do offer resources for seeking affordable options in those areas, and there is a program for getting better deals on medical prescriptions as well.

Why don’t you do a Catholic one? Since this is the one that was recommended to us by a close (Catholic) friend, this is the one that we joined. The Artist and I have discussed whether we should switch, and we honestly do not see a reason to do so at this time. We are on board with this mission and we actually enjoy that it’s an area of life in which we can share whole-heartedly with other Christians.

Are pre-existing conditions prohibitive? Samaritan accepts all members who are willing to agree to the requirements, but those with pre-existing conditions won’t be able to submit Needs relating to those conditions. I believe that this is due to the fact that Samaritan has to mitigate risk involved potential exploitation of the membership, as well as simple financial limitations. (See the guidelines for the in-depth discussion of pre-existing conditions. There is a 1-5 year symptom-free period after which Needs can be shared.)

Some individuals or families who have pre-existing conditions that are serious and/or ongoing might find that Samaritan isn’t practical or affordable. Again, many of those needs can be covered via the SPN program, but there is no guarantee about that and I haven’t been on the receiving end of the SPN so I can’t share a personal experience on that. I do wonder if this is an area where Samaritan would like to grow (in general, the group is very pro-growth); perhaps in the future, there will be more ability to take on people who have these needs.

Is it for everyone? I don’t know everyone’s situation, so I’m certain not going to say everyone ought to do this! As with so many things, it depends on your/your family’s needs, circumstances, and desires.

Having read dozens of testimonies in the Newsletter and having had my own totally positive experience, I can only say that I think it would be worth learning about, especially if you do not already have a good insurance plan provided through your work (and perhaps even if you do!). I will repeat that it is huge to know that your bills are all going to a good place each month and you are not in any way cooperating with nor enabling morally objectionable “medicine.”

Again, I’m no expert in this area, but I can say that it has been good for us financially, emotionally, and spiritually.

 

Are you a member of a cost-sharing ministry? Is this something you are interested in?

~~

Full Disclosure: I am not receiving any kind of payment nor compensation from Samaritan Ministries or any associated party. I’m just a true believer in this model and would love to see it spread! There are other cost-sharing ministries out there, so I’d say check them all out and see which one works best for you!

That being said, if you do decide to look into Samaritan and end up choosing to become a member, we would be very appreciative if you mention our names (John and Deirdre Folley) as referring members when it comes time to fill out your start-up forms: we would receive a credit on our monthly share that would be a great help to us, especially while The Artist is in training!

The post Why We Love Being Medically Uninsured: Part 2 appeared first on Like Mother Like Daughter.

Why We Love Being Medically Uninsured

Yes, that’s right! In our little family, we have absolutely no medical insurance. And yet we sleep like babies at night, confident that we’ll be able to address whatever medical bills might come our way.

 

(I mean no, we don’t actually sleep like babies. But that’s more because of the babies and nothing to do with our healthcare situation.)

The secret is our cost-sharing ministry; we’re members of Samaritan Ministries. Since joining a year and a half ago, I have absolutely fallen in love with this model and I have shared eagerly about it with anyone who has been willing to listen. It’s a totally refreshing perspective on what is usually a very humdrum part of life. Moreover, I have been astounded to learn how much more some of my fully-insured friends are paying for their coverage – both on a month-to-month basis and when actual medical needs arise – than we are.

What is A Cost-Sharing Ministry/What is Samaritan?

To put it succinctly (and I will refer you to their very thorough site for all the details), Samaritan is a network of Christian households who all pay each other’s medical expenses rather than using insurance companies. Each member or household owes a certain fixed amount each month (a reasonable rate) and that money is directed to pay for whatever needs have arisen among the body of members. It is organized very smoothly and everyone is taken care of.

Members do not send our money to a central pool; instead, the main role of the folks at Samaritan is to tell us each month where to send our money, and we just send our check to that person or family in need. That person in need directly paid his doctor, and now we are directly reimbursing him. No middle man.

As members, we are “cash-pay” patients; when we see a doctor or go to the ER, we simply state that we don’t have insurance and will be paying out of pocket, and we go from there. We know that, should the cost of any health issue or incident rise above a certain amount ($300), it will be submitted to the network as a “Need” to be “Shared” among all the members, and we will be reimbursed for anything over that $300.*

~~

 

Why did we choose to do this crazy thing?

Tomorrow I will get into further, practical detail to explain how the process of “submitting a Need” works, as well as some other thoughts.

For now, let me break down the reasons why this works for us and why we love it.

Samaritan Ministries is Affordable.

When The Artist and I made the choice that he would leave his teaching position at the excellent school where he was furnished with comfortable benefits in order to be a starving artist pursue his studies, we knew that we would need a new plan for paying the ole bills. After a friend told us about Samaritan and what a great experience his family was having with it, it didn’t take us long to get interested in – and then excited about – this idea. We joined just before our plan at his old work ended.

Now, I am no expert on how typical insurance works. But I hear loved ones talking about yearly plans and premiums and deductibles and monthly rates… and at the end of the day, they often have no idea what they’ll be paying for a given month or year, and often they’re not even sure if they’re covered for all contingencies. With Samaritan, we have one, reasonable, fixed price we pay each month, and that is all. The only surprise we get is if the rate for that month happens to be lower, which has happened a couple times while we’ve been members.

As good as our insurance was with his old job, let it be noted that we paid more for Finnabee’s birth at that time than we would have had we been insurance-free as Samaritan members. (!)

For Peabodee’s prenatal care, home birth, and post-partum care (all at an excellent standard), we ended up paying $0. Yes, you read that correctly. I will explain in tomorrow’s post with more details, but just hang on to that figure: $0.

 

We feel Secure.

Samaritan consists of 50,000 households. There is a lot of strength in those numbers. With every member household being prepared to send a certain amount every month, each member is covered for any “Need” up to 250,000.

In addition, there is an option to agree to set aside an additional amount each month for a catastrophic event, and this program is called Save to Share. By participating in Save to Share, we’re covered for virtually any event that we might encounter.

We are confident, relying on the Christian responsibility of the members, that whatever comes up — from an ear infection to a year-long stay in the hospital — we will be able to pay the bills.

Samaritan Integrates our Health Care with our Faith Life

Before hearing about Samaritan, it honestly had not occurred how much health care could be integrated with my Faith, except to the extent that there are certain procedures or medical practices I might object to on a religious level.

It has been edifying to see how our whole approach to health care can shift when we know that we’ll be asking our Christian brethren to foot our bills. In effect, we are taking responsibility not only of our co-pays and our “patient portions,” but also our every doctor’s visit; the whole bill for any care. And we are doing so with trust in God’s people.

It’s a reminder that our health is in God’s hands as much as anything else. We should be praying about anything that we’re suffering and praying for others as well. When members send their monthly checks to each other, we’re encouraged to send along notes as well, offering support and comfort to the members who are in need that month. And prayer is the cornerstone of the whole operation. So we don’t just send a check to Mr. Joe Smith who had a knee operation; we also remember him in our prayers all month and pray, specifically, for his knee! It’s powerful to be in a network of people who are doing this for one another.

Imagine calling up your insurance company to talk to them about a bill from a provider, and, after a very brief wait, talking to a calm, friendly person who addresses all your needs completely, refers to you and your loved ones by name, and then ends the (exquisitely peaceful) phone call with a prayer for the health of the person on whose behalf you’re calling.

Hard to believe, perhaps, but that is my experience when calling up the Samaritan offices. I’m not calling up a stranger in an insurance office; I’m calling a brother or sister in Christ.

We Love Samaritan’s Philosophy

Being part of this Ministry is a very practical way to live out some things we care about and believe in deeply: personal responsibility, love for neighbor, and the principle of subsidiarity. Samaritan encourages relying on one another as Christians rather than on insurance companies and/or the State. And it’s smart: in theory we know that the medical industry is wildly inefficient and bloated, and here we have a way to combat that, simply by carrying out our regular health care business in an alternative way.

Because the members are “cash-pay” patients, we have an incentive to seek the lowest-cost care and to negotiate bills. Most providers and hospitals have programs in place to offer discounts for non-insured patients, and we seek those out. Whereas when I had insurance I glanced over my bills just to find out how much I owed as my “patient portion,” I now want to know exactly where the money is going and for what purposes. As I get more accustomed to all of this, I’m becoming a smarter health customer rather than a helpless patient. The more that individuals are able to take control of their health care choices this way, the more we chip away at the staggering waste in the medical industry.

Back before employers began offering health benefits as a way to get around wage freezes at the time of WWII, there was more of this kind of thing: community institutions that would provide security that families couldn’t always get on their own. I love that we are tapping back into that kind of service in the 21st century.

 

Samaritan is an Ethical Alternative to Obamacare

It brings us considerable peace knowing that our money does not go towards the coverage of abortion, abortifacient drugs, or even contraception, which we wouldn’t have been able to say about any plan we would have had to buy through the government exchanges. Samaritan members are legally exempt from the Affordable Care Act, so we get to sidestep all of that. Because of the pledges that every Samaritan member makes (e.g., to drink only in moderation; to abstain from any sexual activity outside of a Biblical marriage, etc.), and because the system is so transparent, we know exactly what we’re paying for (and not paying for) every month.

When the time to file taxes came around this year, we simply filled out a short, additional form that indicated that we are part of a cost-sharing ministry, and bada-bang, bada-boom, we’re Obamacare-Free.

We have More Flexibility

Since we don’t have insurance, we are not bound to any insurance company’s network. We can pick and choose as to doctors and practices – my only limitation for choosing a doctor, frankly, is how far I’m willing to drive! We hear about, for example, a member who knows he needs a certain operation being able to look all around the country, and even internationally, to find the best price for that operation. (This factor could actually be a source of authentic reform in the medical system, because it forces a market to emerge where market influences are otherwise stifled by insurance cartels. It’s pretty awesome.)

I was initially intimidated by the idea of walking into an office and declaring myself to be uninsured, but I’ve found that it is actually quite freeing. I no longer feel that I’m just a number on a chart, being pushed through a practice’s system in order for them to check off their boxes; I seek out what care I want, and I can also decline care that I don’t – I’m paying for it, after all! Of course you can do this as an insured patient as well, but the mental shift that I’ve experienced as a Samaritan member has been empowering.

As you may have guessed, I am a Samaritan Enthusiast. In tomorrow’s post I will try to spell out the nitty-gritty of how the process works. I’ll also do my best to answer questions in the comment section as well!

 

*See tomorrow’s post for more details. Short story: if you can get your costs negotiated down, you don’t have to even pay that full initial $300. And if you’re having a rough year and have already submitted three Needs, the fourth Need (and any following) within the same 12-month period will be fully covered, including that first $300. In other words, unexpected/accident-related health care costs aren’t going to cost you more than $900 in a given 12-month period.

~~

Full Disclosure: I am not receiving any kind of payment nor compensation from Samaritan Ministries nor any associated party. I’m just a true believer in this model and would love to see it spread! There are other cost-sharing ministries out there, so I’d say check them all out and see if any of them would work for you!

That being said, if you do decide to look into Samaritan and end up choosing to become a member, we would be very appreciative if you mention our names (John and Deirdre Folley) as referring members when it comes time to fill out your start-up forms: we would receive a credit on our monthly share that would be a great help to us, especially while The Artist is in training!

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