Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 64

5 Painfully Obvious Truths We Tend to Forget in Hard Times

The truth does not cease to exist when it is forgotten.

You know how you can read or hear something dozens of times in dozens of different ways before it finally sinks in? The little truths listed below fall firmly into that category — timeless life lessons that many of us likely learned years ago, and have been reminded of ever since, yet for whatever reason we tend to forget in the heat of the moment.

This, my friends, is my attempt at helping all of us, myself included, “get it” and “remember it” once and for all, especially as we collectively cope with the evolving reality of COVID-19…

1. Life is short, and nothing is guaranteed.

We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know. It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step. You expected there to (more…)

One Thing We Should Start Doing Together as We Distance Ourselves From COVID-19

Experiences don’t stop. That’s life. And the very experiences that seem so hard when you’re going through them are the ones you’ll look back on with gratitude for how far you’ve come.

We know you’re reading this (probably from home right now). And we want you to know we’re writing this for you. Others will be confused. They will think we’re writing this for them. But we’re not.

This one’s for YOU.

We want you to know that life is not easy for any of us right now. Every day is an unpredictable challenge. Some days it can be difficult simply to get out of bed in the morning. To face the reality of COVID-19 and put on that smile.

But we want you to know, your smile has kept us going on more days than we can count. Yes, as a reader of this little blog, YOUR SMILE—your willingness to read and empower yourself—helps us through.

Never forget that, even through the toughest (more…)

2 Hard Things You Need to Do to Be at Peace Today

The goal is to change your response to what you can’t control. To grow so strong on the inside that nothing on the outside can affect your inner wellness without your conscious permission.

“Tough times don’t last—tough people do.” Repeat that to yourself as often as you need to in the days and weeks ahead, as the world gradually comes to grips with the hard reality of COVID-19.

There’s a saying in Tibetan philosophy, “Tragedy should be used as a source of strength.” My grandmother always repeated this line to me when I was growing up. Every time I dealt with some kind of unexpected struggle, she would graciously remind me that it was helping me grow, so long as I was willing to open my mind to it. Over the years I have learned just how right she was, and how relevant her wisdom is for all of us right now.

Remind yourself that the mind is our biggest battleground. It’s the place where the strongest conflict resides. And with COVID-19 occupying so much of our present attention, we need now more than ever to keep ourselves in check.

In the game of life, we all receive a (more…)

The Art of Being Grateful on Really Hard Days

“If you’re always grateful for the little things, it’s hard to avoid happiness. It’s a lack of gratitude that often keeps us feeling down.

There’s a little ritual Angel and I practice every single day, that can turn hard days into easier ones, and extremely difficult life situations into far better ones—and it won’t surprise you either. It’s the ritual of gratitude.

Of course, this is such a fundamental ritual, and yet it’s one we often forget to practice. But when we do practice diligently, it can quickly transform both our minds and our lives.

Let me give you a quick example. Just over a decade ago, I remember one specific night I was struggling with grief, and also feeling very stressed about being broke, without work, and unhappy with the direction of my life. I was depressed, and very lost.

But that night I pushed myself hard to put things into perspective. I wrote out a list of (more…)

7 Things You Never Have to Wear Again

by Courtney Carver, author of Project 333

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”

— Hans Hofmann

Because I wrote a book about a fashion challenge, you might think I want to tell you what to wear. I don’t.

Most of us have spent so much time, energy and money on what we wear and how we look that the last thing anyone needs is more fashion advice.

I will however tell you what not to wear if you want more peace and ease in your life.

1. You never again have to wear the guilt of your past.

Guilt and regret about the past aren’t serving your present. In fact, because of that guilt, you aren’t fully enjoying your current life. Whether it is guilt about letting go of something in your closet that you spent too much on, or guilt about a past relationship or anything in between, you have paid enough. You’ve paid with your money, time, attention and emotion. You can stop paying now. Let go, apologize, forgive and choose to live free of guilt and regret.

2. You never again have to wear your pain.

How many times have you tried to shop away your pain? Retail therapy is an (more…)

40 Incredible Life Experiences You Will Never Forget

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
— Albert Einstein

The older we grow, the more peaceful and grateful we become. Life humbles us gradually as we age. We realize how much nonsense we have wasted time on. And we begin to feel the peace that flows from our decision to rise above the petty drama and distractions that don’t really matter.

I was reminded of this today after reading the opening lines of an email from a seasoned “Think Better, Live Better 2020” digital ticket attendee named Mary Ann. She gave me full permission to share her words with you…

“Today I am celebrating my 90th birthday. I’ve seen the world change many times over. It’s amazing how much progress we’ve made. When I was a child there was no such thing as a television, and now I’m online typing this on a touchscreen tablet my grandson bought me for my birthday. This ride we call ‘life’ is amazing! It’s something worth appreciating every day.”

The rest of her email discusses the ups and downs of her 90-year journey, and how she perceives life as being like an “ongoing jigsaw puzzle” we never quite complete. “It’s crazy how some pieces randomly go missing, and then other pieces you didn’t even know existed fit so perfectly in the empty spaces,” she says. “We just have to do our best to not let our own negativity get the best of us.”

Mary Ann’s words of wisdom remind me that there will always be ups and downs in life, but ultimately, at the end of the day, that’s what makes each of us who we are. Which is why you have to learn to accept both the good and the bad that falls on your plate with grace. Because everything in life happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. For everything you lose, you gain something else. And for everything you gain, you lose something else. You don’t have to appreciate it, but it’s just easier if you do.

So, pay attention to your outlook on life. Every day you can either regret or rejoice; it’s your choice. When you choose the latter, life opens doors to amazing experiences you will likely remember forever. Here are 40 such experiences… (more…)

4 “Notes to Self” that Will Stop You from Taking Today for Granted

“May you actually live every day of your life.”

— Jonathan Swift

I recently received an email from a young “Think Better, Live Better 2020” digital ticket attendee named Kaarina that nearly brought me to tears. And after exchanging a few heartfelt replies back and forth with her, she graciously gave me permission to share the opening lines of her initial email:

“I’m dying of cancer (Lymphoma) at age 21. I was sent home from the hospital for my final weeks over 32 weeks ago. But now I’m back at the hospital being treated again, because my doctors believe there is renewed hope.”

Right now it seems a miracle is taking place in Kaarina’s life. I pray this miracle continues to transpire. And I’m also grateful for the reminder Kaarina has given me. Our lives are fleeting, and the best day to fight for the right to live is today — by taking small, positive steps forward on a purposeful path.

Truth be told, everything you want to do takes daily practice. Whether it means learning to dance by practicing dancing or learning to live by practicing living, the principles are the same. In each case, it’s about (more…)

7 Hard Things You Should Do for Yourself When You Don’t Feel Good Enough

You are enough. You have enough. You do enough. Breathe deep… let go, and just live right now in the moment.

Angel and I coach a number of students, 2-on-1 and in small groups — and pretty much every one of them is hard on themselves in some way. There’s this underlying feeling of stress and pain driven by disappointed in themselves, anger at themselves, or constantly believing they are inadequate.

Can you relate to this? I think most of us can.

This is a fundamental problem that most of us face, every single day. We don’t love significant aspects of ourselves. We beat ourselves up. We are frightened of uncertainty because we don’t think we’re good enough to handle it. We don’t trust ourselves, because we’ve formed a negative understanding of ourselves over the years. We get angry at ourselves for eating the wrong things, consuming too much alcohol, making mistakes in a social situations, getting distracted and watching Netflix or playing games on our phone, and so it goes. We are incredibly harsh on ourselves, and don’t like how we look or who we are, and it haunts us from the inside out.

Our feelings of self-doubt affects everything we do. It makes us more stressed, less happy, anxious, depressed, stuck, procrastinating, less present in relationships, less focused, more likely to reach for comfort foods or distraction or mindless shopping to comfort ourselves from the stress and pain of being who we are.

But if we could give ourselves (more…)

10 Little Habits that Wreck Thousands of Lives One Day at a Time

In a culture that seeks quick results, we must learn the beauty of effort, patience, and perseverance.

Have you ever told yourself that you’re going to make something happen and then nothing happened? All details aside, it’s because you didn’t have the right habits in place—the little things you do every day that build up to something bigger.

Habits define you. All the results in your life come from your daily habits.

If you’re out of shape and overweight, you have different habits than someone who’s physically fit. If you’re fit, you jump out of bed early every morning and sweat before preparing a healthy breakfast. If you’re out of shape, you sleep in and eat whatever is fastest and easiest.

This may be a bit of a generalization, but it’s not far from the truth for the average able-bodied person.

In all walks of life, you don’t become an overnight success. You become successful over time from all the little things you do one day at a time.

Failure occurs in the same way. All your little daily failures (that you don’t learn and grow from) come together and cause you to fail…

You fail to check the books.
You fail to make the calls.
You fail to listen to your customers.
You fail to innovate.
You fail to do what must be done.

And then one day you wake up and your business has failed. It was all the little things you did or didn’t do along the way—your daily habits—not just one catastrophic event.

Let this be your wake-up call.

YOUR LIFE IS YOUR BUSINESS!

YOUR HABITS ARE YOUR BUSINESS!

So today, let’s discuss some super-common habits Marc and I have seen plaguing thousands (more…)

1 Thing You Should Know About Our Uncertain Reality

In the mid-1950’s, the leaders of Thailand decided to build a new highway into their largest city, Bangkok. The highway would pass through an area with relatively low population density where an old broken-down temple stood. The government purchased the property rights to the old temple and the surrounding grounds, and agreed to let a few local monks move a 500-year-old white stucco statue of Buddha to a safer location.

The stucco Buddha was absolutely immense in size and weight. It stood nearly 11 feet tall, with a 6-foot circumference, and weighed in at nearly 15,000 pounds. So the local monks worked with the government leaders to arrange for a large crane and transport to safely move the stucco Buddha from the old temple grounds to a new home on the other side of the city.

A couple weeks later, when the crane was actually in the process of moving the stucco Buddha, it was clear that everyone involved had miscalculated the statue’s weight and fragility. At one point, a turbulent wind gust forced the crane operator to bring the stucco Buddha back down to the ground with a hard thud. The massive idol cracked open in several places the moment it hit the ground, and the local monks screamed and pleaded for all crane operations to be halted for the day. Then, tarps were placed over the cracked statue to protect it from ensuing turbulent winds.

That evening, one of the monks was still very disturbed and couldn’t sleep a wink. So he put on his windbreaker and returned to the stucco Buddha with a lantern. He wanted to evaluate the damage to his sacred and holy idol. As he peered under one of the tarps and through a crack in the stucco, he noticed something odd buried several inches beneath the surface of the statue.

He picked up a mallet that the crane operator had left on the job site, and carefully chipped away at (more…)