Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 67

5 Reasons My 90-Year-Old Grandma Smiled on Her Deathbed

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

― Mae West

Fifteen years ago, I was lucky enough to witness the humble, elegant, peaceful passing of my 89-year-old grandpa. As I sat quietly in his hospice room alongside my grandma and other family members, his nurse smiled softly and said, “I can see he lived well. People his age often pass just the way they lived.”

And as I drove home that evening, a couple questions kept cycling through my mind…

“Am I living well?”

“What do I want to be able to smile about on the inside when I’m on my deathbed?”

These questions are tough, especially the second one. At the time, I desperately struggled to envision myself on my deathbed—just thinking about it stressed me out. So I simply avoided the question and the healthy soul searching it demanded of me. I distracted myself for a few more years until I found myself back in a hospice room with my 90-year-old grandma (who was the most amazing human being I’ve ever met, by the way).

On the final day of her life, I sat with my grandma for the entire day, in silence, in laughter, in tears, and in awe of a woman who was still smiling and sharing stories despite incredible weakness and pain. Her mind was amazingly strong (more…)

7 Things We Hold On To (Long After It’s Time To Let Go)

by Erica Layne, author of The Minimalist Way

“That which you hold, holds you.”

― Tom Robbins

Jeanne Marie had moved her wedding shoes from apartment to apartment, home to home—for more than fifteen moves over thirty-five years.

In her twenties, she’d shopped exhaustively for the right pair, trying on dozens of shoes before landing on the perfect strappy sandals, the pair that would follow her around for the next three and a half decades.

She’d always hoped to wear them again, maybe for an anniversary or a special date. But it had been years since those shoes fit, and on top of that, she and her husband had long since separated.

The day (more…)

15 Little Things You Need to Focus on Less to Get Ahead Today

You become a true master of your life when you learn how to master your focus—where your attention goes.

This morning, after back surgery nearly a year ago, one of my neighborhood friends finally took his first few unassisted steps. His doctor says he should be back on his feet full-time in about two months; he just needs to build up the muscle in his legs again. When I asked my friend what he’s looking forward to most about being back on his feet, he said, “Long walks with my wife.”

His response resonated deeply with me. It’s such a strong reminder that the simple things are often the most important, and that we sometimes let stifling thoughts and ineffective habits get in our way of being happy and productive.

Which is why it’s time to focus less on…

1. All the little distractions.

Focus on the activities and people that make you happy, and filter out the avoidable opposites. Truth be told, we often make our lives complicated when it’s really quite simple: Find what it is that makes you happy and spend more time doing it. Find who it is that makes you smile and spend more time with them.

Living your dream is really just a matter of proper lifestyle alignment. It’s about being (more…)

16 Reasons You’re Succeeding in Life (Even If You Feel Like You’re Losing)

A big part of happiness and success is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now, and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is.

At times we all feel less than adequate. We feel like we’re running in place, struggling to make even the slightest bit of progress. And while this is a perfectly normal feeling, you have to ultimately break free from it and see yourself and your life in a more positive light.

The key is to pay attention to the small things. Just because you’re not where you want to be, doesn’t mean you’re a failure. In fact, quite the opposite is true. To be truly happy and successful today doesn’t mean you don’t desire more in the future, it means you are sincerely thankful for what you have already accomplished and patient for everything yet to come.

Train your mind to see the good side of what’s in front of you. Life is a series of thousands of tiny miracles. Notice them. Notice again and again how fortunate you are. The evidence is all around you right now, and it’s beautiful, and well worth gathering into your awareness.

Every morning when you wake up, think of three things that are going well in your life at the moment. As you fall asleep every night, fill your mind with an appreciation for all the small things that went well during the day. Examine your daily successes.

Give the power of your thinking to the positive influences in your life, and they will grow stronger and more influential every day. Remind yourself of what works well and why, and you’ll naturally find ways to make lots of other things work well too. The most efficient way to enjoy more success in life is (more…)

4 Reasons You Need to Keep Doing Hard Things to Be Happy, Healthy and Successful

You need to do hard things to be happy, healthy and successful. Because the hard things ultimately build you up and change your life.

If you already feel like you’re at the end your rope today with little slack left to hold on to, realize your mind is lying to you. It has imprisoned you by reciting self-defeating stories in your head—stories about your mistakes and what you should have done differently. And you’ve begun to believe that you’re really stuck.

But you’re NOT.

You are alive in an immense world with infinite destinations. Take a moment to remind yourself of this fact. Go outside. Look up at the sky and the clouds or the stars. THIS is the world in which you really live. Breathe it in. Then look at your current situation again.

Remember that adversity—doing and dealing with the hard things in life—is the first path to truth. Your defeats often serve as well as your victories to shake your spirit and light your way. You just have to hold on tight, embrace the daily pain, and burn it as fuel for your journey.

Easier said than done, of course. Which is why you need to continually remind yourself… (more…)

How to Make Life Simple Again

Life gets a lot simpler when you clear the clutter that makes it complicated. Bring your attention back to what’s important, and move forward with your life.

Your days fill up so fast, and they are so rushed and packed with distractions—sometimes they literally seem to be bursting at the seams.

I know exactly how you feel. This used to be my life too.

Before I started simplifying my life, I was being pulled in dozens of different directions every day and never had enough time to get everything done. Naturally, I wanted to do a great job with each obligation I had, and somehow I had convinced myself that I could do it all. But the reality was I was stretched way too thin, and thus I was doing a lousy job at everything and completely stressing myself out in the process.

This feeling of being mind-numbingly busy and overbooked is a huge source of stress for most people, and stress is perhaps the single most important determining factor of whether we’re healthy and happy, or sick and tired, in the long run.

Unless you want your health to decline and your stress to continue to skyrocket, you must start simplifying.

So how can you simplify your life? It’s not as hard as you might imagine… (more…)

40 Things We Need to Teach Our Kids Before They’re too Cool to Hear Our Wisdom

Kids must be taught how to think, not what to think.

Today our son, Mac, started Kindergarten. The experience of dropping him off for his very first day of school struck so many emotions in me. As every parent of a school-age child can attest, the very first day of school is a learning experience in and of itself. It’s one of those little milestones you anticipate and always remember.

Anyway, I awoke this morning thinking about the whole experience—of childhood, parenthood, and everything in between—and two thoughts immediately came to mind:

How in the world did Angel and I suddenly become parents to a kindergartner? Whoa! Time flies!
There are so many things I want to tell Mac as soon as possible, before he’s in high school with his friends and too cool to hear my little nuggets of wisdom. And before Angel and I go from “mommy and daddy who both know best” to “mom and dad who couldn’t possibly understand.”

So in no particular order, here are 40 things I intend to tell him and his little friends, repeatedly, over the next several years: (more…)

18 Important Reminders About Living Up to People’s Expectations

Your needs matter. Don’t ignore them. Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.

A life spent ceaselessly trying to please people who are perhaps incapable of ever being pleased, or trying too hard to always be seen as doing “what’s expected of you,” is a sure road to a regretful existence. Marc and I were on this road once, but I’m happy to say we’re paving our own path now based on our own needs, morals and values. And today I hope to inspire you to do the same…

Do more than just exist. We all exist. The question is: Do you live?

Marc and I eventually realized existing without ever truly living was not what we wanted for ourselves. So we made changes – we gradually embraced (more…)

15 Important Reminders for Your Darkest Moments of Self-Doubt

Our character is often most evident at our highs and lows. Be humble at the mountaintops, be strong in the valleys, and be faithful in between.

Why are we feeling this way—so beaten up and worn down?

Why do we, who start out so passionate, courageous, worthy and believing, become utterly bankrupt by the youthful age of 30, 40 or 50?

Why is it that one of us drowns in material consumption and debt, another self-mutilates, a third seeks oblivion in hard liquor and gambling, a fourth, in order to stifle fear and judgment, cynically tramples and berates her own individuality, intelligence, and priceless youth?

Why is it that, once fallen, we don’t attempt to rise back up? Or, having lost one thing, why don’t we attempt to seek another?

Why? Why? Why!!!

Because we give up on ourselves too soon.

We let that monster named negativity chew us up and spit us out into a mucky puddle of self-doubt.

And we’ve all been there at some point too. So, if you can relate right now, here are some important reminders to keep handy… (more…)

10 Things to Start Telling Yourself on Hard Days

Mental strength is incredibly important. Take care of your mind and the way you speak to yourself. Don’t let negative self-talk weaken you today.

Life changes every single day, and so can we. That’s the truth, yet oftentimes we feel hopelessly stuck against our will. Why? Because the changes we seek breed uncertainty, and life can be hard to navigate when we’re uncertain about things.

We feel confused and displaced, and we begin filling our gaps of understanding with stories about how life is. But these stories often do us more harm than good.

Imagine you’re in the midst of changing jobs, building a business, or getting in shape. What’s the story you’re telling yourself about incorporating this change into your life? Does it involve you being the confident hero of the story? Or a character that doesn’t believe he or she can do it, and is therefore reluctant to even try? If you’re thinking the latter, you’re not alone—lots of us struggle in this same way.

Now, take another moment and (more…)