Marc Chernoff's Blog, page 62

12 Daily Reminders We Need to Read Every Morning for the Rest of the Year

Where you ultimately end up this year is dependent on your daily attitude and response.

This morning one of our coaching clients, Monica—a recovering victim of a fairly recent and debilitating car accident—was smiling from ear to ear the minute our FaceTime coaching session began.  “What has you in such good spirits today?” I asked her.  “I’m thinking differently about things…about how lucky I am to be alive,” she replied.  “I thought the injuries I sustained in that accident last year signified the end of life as I know it, but now I realize they signify the beginning.”

All details aside, Monica decided to begin again, in her mind first and then in her life.  It’s taken her several months of healing and practice, but she has consciously let go of the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” attachments in her head about her circumstances, and she has stepped forward with grace and determination.  Her new beginning has nothing to do with the recent New Year, and everything to do with a new way of thinking.

Truth be told, today is really the beginning, for all of us.  And we can prevent the wrong thoughts and beliefs from getting the best of us as we move forward with our lives in 2021.  We can train our minds to make the very best of the present moment, even when our circumstances are far less than ideal.  All it takes is practice.

The mind is like a muscle, and just like every muscle in the human body, it needs to be exercised to gain strength.  It needs to be trained daily to grow and develop gradually over time.  If you haven’t pushed your mind in a dozen little, positive ways over the course of time, of course it’ll crumble on the inevitable days that get overwhelmingly stressful.

The easiest way to begin strengthening the mind? (more…)

21 Tiny Changes You Can Make in Your Home to Make Life Simpler in 2021

by Joshua Becker, author of The Minimalist Home

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”

—Hans Hofmann

Have incredible stories to tell by the end of 2021, not incredible clutter stuffed in your closets.  I sincerely wish this for my family, and yours, in the year ahead.

So, let me start off here by asking you…

Does your home serve you—or do you serve your home?
Will your home afford you the necessary space to create happy, healthy memories and stories in the year ahead?

These are not questions most of us ask ourselves, but we should.  After all, our homes are meant to serve a distinct purpose in our lives—to be both the space we come back to, and the space we go out from each day.  Our homes are, in essence, the foundation of our daily lives.  This has been especially true over the past year, while we’ve lived through COVID-19.

And as we enter the New Year, it’s a great time to check in with yourself…

If your home is serving you well, it is (more…)

5 Year-End Mantras that Will Move Your Life Forward in 2021

Let’s end this crazy year with a quick story about life…

Tragedy strikes a woman who isn’t yet old. A minivan traveling toward her on a dark mountain highway hits her car nearly head-on just after sunset. She grips her steering wheel as hard as she can and veers into the rocky mountainside until her car screeches to a halt. The minivan flips onto its side and skids in the other direction off a cliff, plummeting nearly 500 feet to the ground below. Inside, a young family of five on their way to grandma’s house for New Year’s Eve.

The woman doesn’t recall the events that followed during the next several days. She doesn’t recall the three eye witnesses who comforted her and assured her that it wasn’t her fault—that the other driver had swerved into her lane. She doesn’t recall how she got to the emergency room or the fact that she stayed there for over a week, well into the New Year, to treat a (more…)

12 “Notes to Self” You Should Memorize Before the New Year Begins

As 2020 winds down, I know many of us are yearning for a very small and selective range of life experiences—the happy holidays, the normal times, the settings and experiences that make us feel comfortable. And yet, the full range of our present reality is quite different. This year continues to give us an extensive array of experiences that evoke feelings ranging from sadness to struggle to pride to anger to love to loneliness… to happiness to hope and more. These feelings are all part of being a living, breathing human being, regardless of the season of our lives.

So, we can revolt against the unfairness of life—the unfairness of having to deal with pain, having to cope with uncertainty, having to feel lonely and uneasy and upset. Or we can (more…)

40 Simple Yet Beautiful Moments You Forget to Appreciate

The richest human isn’t the one who has the most, but the one who needs less. Wealth is a mindset. Want less and appreciate more today.

As we enter another holiday season, we will inevitably be bombarded with flashy advertisements and gift buying guides championing the latest and greatest gadgets, jewelry, cars, and more. And while I’m not against investing in new products that add value to our lives, I don’t like hearing about how people think they “need” a bunch of new and expensive things to be happy.

Truth be told, unless we’re investing in our personal growth and taking action, most of the money we spend on things doesn’t make us any happier or better off in the long run. We simply don’t need more fancy items in our closets collecting dust to find joy and contentment. In fact, we can find most of what we’re looking for by paying closer attention to the gifts we already have in front of us—the simple yet beautiful moments that make us smile… (more…)

20 Quotes and Notes We Need to Read 20 Times a Day Until They Sink In

Happiness doesn’t start with a relationship, a vacation, a job… or an election. It starts with your thinking and what you tell yourself today. Remind yourself of this truth. And remind yourself that the absolute best lessons we learn in life are the lessons we learn over and over again. The human mind needs lots of proactive reminders—lots of practice—to operate effectively through thick and thin. For example, deep down we know it’s OK to…

Say “no”
Speak up
Tell the truth
Believe differently
Change our mind
Prioritize our needs
Learn from our mistakes
Embrace our imperfections
Forgive and seek forgiveness
Begin again, stronger than before

Yet, we often seek the exact opposite when life gets stressful and we’re under pressure.

We do the wrong things even when we know better.

Because the human mind has weaknesses. It becomes forgetful and insensible when it’s stressed. And the only way to conquer these weaknesses is to practice conquering them.

Now is the time to practice! (more…)

10 Quotes for Letting Go of “How Life Should Be”

When life has to be a certain way in order to be good enough for us, we close ourselves off from so many of the real and present opportunities available.

On the contrary, when we let go of the way it “should be,” we free our minds to deal with life’s unexpected changes, challenges and chaos in the most effective way possible…

We create space for acceptance, learning and growth.

We learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others.

We see the world through an unbiased set of eyes.

And gradually, we allow ourselves to step forward with more peace of mind.

With that said, I don’t always let go when I need to. I don’t always have a clear and focused mind. Because I’m only human, and human beings have the tendency to hold on too tight. Sometimes life slaps us really hard and we attach ourselves to the pain, even when we know better.

When I’m holding on too tight, I can really feel it in my gut. I feel anxious, frustrated, irritated, and upset. There’s an aching for things to be different than they are — a feeling of rejection or betrayal or hopelessness.

I’m sure you can relate. We’re all struggling through this one together, in our own unique way right now. And the vast majority of our torment is the result of being caught up in whatever story we’re telling ourselves about how life “should” be.

So for starters, here’s what I try to keep in mind… (more…)

Asking the Right Questions is the Answer: 10 Things We Forget About Our Own Ignorance

Judge a person by their questions, rather than their answers. Because asking the right questions today is the answer.

It’s a harsh fact that every one of us is ignorant in some way. Although we tend to pretend otherwise, it’s impossible to know it all.

Ignorance is our biggest collective secret.

And it’s one of the scariest and most damaging realities of life, because those of us who are most ignorant — and thus most likely to spread ignorance — are often the ones who don’t know it.

Here’s a quick test:

If you have never changed your mind about one of your beliefs, if you have never questioned the fundamentals of your opinions, and if you have no inclination to do so, then you are likely ignorant about something you think you understand.

What’s the immediate solution?

Just move one step outside of your social bubble and find someone (online or offline) who, in your opinion, believes, behaves, or handles certain aspects of life differently from you. Then, have a simple, honest, peaceful conversation with them. I promise it will do both of you lots of good.

Once you’ve done that, here are some key truths to remind yourself of on a regular basis: (more…)

How to Begin Again After an Unexpected Ending

As you struggle forward in the days and weeks ahead, remind yourself, it is far better to be exhausted from lots of effort, learning and growth, than it is to be tired of doing absolutely nothing.

In 1914, the great inventor Thomas Edison experienced a devastating hardship. His entire laboratory burned down to the ground, and several years worth of his work was ruined.

Newspapers described the situation as “the worst thing to happen to Edison!”

But that wasn’t true, because Edison didn’t see it that way at all. The inventor instead chose to see his circumstances as an invigorating opportunity to rebuild and re-examine much of his current work. In fact, Edison reportedly said shortly after the fire, “Thank goodness all our mistakes were burned up. Now we can start again fresh.” And that’s exactly what he and his team did.

Think about how this relates to your life.

How many times have you heard it was the end, when it was really the beginning?

How many hopeless labels have been slapped over your inner hope?

Probably more often than you realize.

The truth is, (more…)

3 Ways to Break Through When You’re Burning Out and Ready for a Change

In the midst of particularly hard days when I feel that I can’t endure, I remind myself that my track record for getting through hard days is 100% so far.

On my birthday many moons ago, when Google and I were both a lot younger, I Googled “how to change your life when you’re burning out” to see what would come up. I had been feeling hopelessly trapped in a cycle of busyness—like I was racing around in circles every day without any meaningful progress. And it was time to find a better roadmap because I was literally getting depressed with the same old grind.

Granted, I was working 60+ hours a week, struggling with a failing business, and coping with the recent deaths of two loved ones. The stress and pace of life just seemed to keep me busy from sunrise to midnight every day without much time for self-reflection or mindfulness, and deep down I knew the head-spinning, circular path I was on wasn’t sustainable.

As I scrolled through Google’s search results I was fascinated by the (more…)