Bill Treasurer's Blog, page 2

A Family Story, A Leadership Lesson

Many of you know that I have three children, twin 21-year-olds, Alex and Bina, and an 18-year-old, Ian. All of us love skiing, especially my daughter. This past winter, she even graduated to skiing on black diamond runs, which ain’t easy…especially if, like her, you have special needs. Bina has cerebral palsy. She is also deaf. None of that stops her from living life to the fullest.

In January, I posted some video of Bina skiing. A friend and colleague, Becky Jarrell, quickly reached out and urged me to apply to an international winter sports program for people with unique needs. Becky is active in the Lions Club of Atlanta, and the program is run by the International Lions Club…of Norway!

The stakes were high. If Bina were accepted into the program, all of her activities and lift tickets would be paid for, and she would be provided with housing, meals, and a guide for the entire week. More importantly, she would be gathered with hundreds of other people who, like her, live with physical disabilities.

The fact that this event was to be held in Norway held special significance for Bina and our family. Bina is my daughter’s nickname – her actual name is Tobina. She is named after my grandmother, Tobina. And my grandmother was named after my great-grandfather, Tobias Abrahamsen, who immigrated to the United States from…Norway.

Knowing the special Norwegian family connections, you can imagine how thrilled we all were when we found out that Bina got accepted into the program! She literally jumped up and down with joy. It was an amazing experience. Bina went downhill skiing, Nordic skiing, and dogsledding. She watched amazing athletes – including blind skiers – as they participated with gusto, despite their challenges. The trip was so special that it felt like the Viking ghosts of my ancestors were guiding things along.

On the opening day of the program, after the opening ceremonies, I went on Ancestry.com to learn more about my grandmother’s heritage. I still have a hard time wrapping my head around what I learned. My grandmother’s birthday was that very day, the opening day of the program. It was like a wink from heaven. From Tobina to Tobina. From heaven to Norway.

A Lesson in Courage

Leadership lives in the quiet courage of others. Watching Bina push through steep slopes, physical limitations, and communication barriers reminded me that leadership isn’t always loud or positional. Sometimes it’s about resilience. It’s about showing up fully despite the odds—and in doing so, inspiring others to do the same.

This experience in Norway wasn’t just about skiing. It was about honoring the legacy of family, of courage, and of spirit. As leaders, we often think we’re supposed to be the ones guiding others. But sometimes, we’re the ones being led by the quiet power of perseverance, by history, and by the next generation showing us what’s possible.

What if the greatest lessons in leadership don’t come from those in charge, but from those quietly pushing boundaries and honoring the spirit of legacy?

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The Day I Wasn’t Courageous

Morning weddings are more vibrant than those held in the afternoon. In the morning, flowers radiate with more intensity, people smile wider, and the sun is more forgiving. In Jacksonville, Florida, where summer temperatures can reach into the 90s before noon, getting married at any other time of day would be sheer insanity.

The Club Continental is one of Jacksonville’s most popular wedding venues. Built in 1922 by the heir of the founder of the Palmolive Soap Company, the Mediterranean-style mansion overlooks the expansive St. John’s River. Set among magnificent 200-year oak trees, draped with Spanish moss, Club Continental was the perfect setting for the nuptials of David, my nephew, and Christy, his beautiful bride.

What makes the unexpected terrifying is how it intrudes itself, often violently, on the comfort of the moment. I had just settled down to a full plate of prime rib and tomato salad, when I heard my father urgently say, “Something’s wrong with Toby!” My eyes darted over to my mother who was gasping for air, desperately waving her hands as if begging for help. My mother was choking to death.

I Wasn’t Courageous

I can’t tell you much of what happened next. I can only offer you confused snapshots, flickering words and images that the grace of my memory will only parcel out in bearable morsels. I know I am behind my mother now. I’m thrusting upward against her diaphragm, the way I had learned decades ago when I was a lifeguard. I feel her ribs against my forearms, and think, “That’s too hard, her bones are old.” There is commotion in the room; utensils are clanking to the floor. People are out of their chairs, pensive. I hear screaming voices, but only the frightening words are registering with me; “Choking!”…“Heart attack!”…“Oh my God!”…“Call 911!” I know things are critical, she not getting any oxygen. I can’t tell if she’s conscious. I’m thinking, “Don’t die. For God’s sake, don’t die!”

Time has come to a near standstill, as if I could walk around each suspended frame of memory in some three-dimensional matrix. A relative is frantically dialing his cell phone. A bridesmaid is holding her open mouth. A woman, holding her toddler son in a tight embrace, turns his face away from the scene. The room is frantic. My eyes catch what would become my most vivid memory of the entire episode, the terrified and confused face of my 3-year-old daughter. The cuff-linked hand of my brother squeezes my shoulder. He urges, “Turn her to her side.” I follow the instruction. My brother gets close to her face. “She’s breathing, she’s breathing again! She’s okay everyone.”

If not courage, then what?

The moments after my mother’s choking episode were full of relief and decompression. Everyone began processing what just happened, including my mother who, after spitting up, was perfectly fine though terrifically embarrassed. Later, people came up to me complimenting me for taking swift action. A few of my closest relatives, who knew I had begun writing a book on courage, commented how ironic it was that I got a firsthand experience in what I was writing about.

Here’s the thing, and this is important, saving my mother’s life WAS NOT COURAGEOUS. I am not saying that out of some false humility. I’m saying it because it is true. I know what courage is. I have had courageous experiences, and unclogging my mother’s throat wasn’t one of them. It wasn’t courage that caused me to come to my mother’s aid. It was the fact that I was sitting across from her. It was because I knew what needed to be done, and I had been trained with the skills to do it. It was because she was my mother. Given those set of factors, anyone else would have done the same thing.

Here’s how I know it wasn’t courage: I acted before I knew I was afraid. In fact, I’m not even sure I was afraid during the entire episode. I experienced it almost robotically, registering memories matter-of-factly, like “Oh, my mother’s dying. I should do something about this.” The people around me were more terrified than I was, probably because they were witnessing it as a continuous event. My brain had gone into some sort of hypnotic coping sub-state, like when your computer goes into hibernate mode to protect itself from a power surge.

So, what is Courage?

Courage involves a premeditated confrontation with fear. Courage is something you contemplate, plan for and execute on. “Instant Courage” is a rarity if not a downright falsehood. When you react to something before the fear sets in, you aren’t engaging with fear, and engaging with fear is the signature mark of a courageous act. Courage and fear have a mystical relationship; situations that are devoid of fear are also devoid of courage. Courage is not fearless. In fact, it is fearful. It’s acting on what is right despite being afraid.

 

When fear shows up—uninvited and unannounced—will you be ready to act… or will you wait until it’s too late to be courageous?

Interested in learning more about personal development and growth? Check out these related posts:

Courageously FearfulThe Growth Process

 

post updated May, 2025

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

The post The Day I Wasn’t Courageous appeared first on Giant Leap Consulting.

Personal Fidelity: The Leadership Skill You Can’t Afford to Ignore

Soon after moving into a leadership role, you discover that what you thought a leader’s job would be and what it is are two different things. Before becoming one yourself, you might have envied those in leadership roles. After all, instead of working out of a cubicle, they had roomy offices. Instead of working alone on a spreadsheet, they were gathered in the conference room, making heady decisions while an underling took notes. Instead of passively sitting in the audience during the town hall, they got to present a compelling future to everyone. The work you watched them do seemed more varied, impactful, and important. You envied their bigger titles, offices, and salaries! You wanted to gain control, but not the kind you needed.

Yes, as a leader, you’ll have more freedom with how you use your time, more interesting challenges to work on, more influence over the direction of people’s careers, and more involvement in the big decisions that will impact the organization. All those enjoyable things won’t add up to more enjoyment. They mostly add up to more stress.

Maximum Overdrive

My company was once hired to develop a leadership program for a fast-growing communications company headquartered in the Southwest. The program consisted of leadership ‘summits’ where we spent a day every other month focused on an important aspect of leadership. One of the workshops focused on Leading Culture, which was devoted to helping the emerging leaders identify the company’s own unique culture, and to having them consider what aspects of the culture no longer serve the company well and might need to shift. Interesting discussions ensued, and one word started surfacing again and again: redlining.

To a person, everyone enjoyed being part of a fast-growing company. They loved winning work away from bigger and more established competitors and working with marquee clients. There was a feeling of loyalty to the company leaders and an appreciation of their openness to forward-moving ideas. They liked being part of a company where they could receive more responsibility, and more opportunities to make more money than some of their competitors, where younger people had to ‘wait their turn.’ There was an entrepreneurial energy that felt electric, like everyone was on a winning team. All of that was uber-energizing. But…

Everyone also felt like they were maxed out. The fury of incoming orders and the ridiculous workload each order created felt all-consuming. It felt like all the success the company was enjoying was untenable. More than one person used the word ‘redlining’ to describe the experience, like each leader had the throttle all the way open deep into the red zone. Read more about the danger of terminal redlining in leadership.

Personal Fidelity in Leadership

As you progress in your leadership career, it will be increasingly important to make yourself a priority. This doesn’t have to come at the expense of all the people, responsibilities, and goals to which you are obliged. You can still faithfully serve all those things while also making yourself a priority. The term I use with the leaders whom I coach is personal fidelity.

The word fidelity has to do with deep devotion, loyalty, and trust. The word is most often used to reflect our dedication to others, such as our fidelity to our spouse and loved ones. The English translation of the Latin phrase Semper Fidelis means ‘always faithful’ and Semper Fi, of course, is the motto of the U.S. Marine Corps, reflecting their abiding loyalty and commitment to their brothers and sisters-in-arms. The word fidelity, though, isn’t confined to faithfulness to others. You’ll be an even more effective leader if you give it to yourself too.

Gain Control Over Yourself

Leadership isn’t just about charging forward and driving results. It’s about endurance. It’s about staying in the game long enough to make a meaningful difference—at work and at home. That means taking care of the one person your team, your company, and your family can’t do without: you.

You can’t give your best if you’re running on empty. You can’t serve others well if you’re neglecting yourself. So, be brave enough to pause. Be wise enough to refuel. And be faithful enough to yourself to live and lead with a full heart, not a fried one. You’re no good to anyone if you burn out. But with personal fidelity—real devotion to your own well-being—you’ll not only go farther, you’ll bring others along with you.

Stay strong. Stay grounded. And lead on.

Do you take the time to gain control over your life? How can you make a personal difference in your own life?

Interested in learning more about personal development? Check out these related posts:

Personal Transformation Through LeadershipThe Growth Process

This post was based on an excerpt from Leadership Two Words At A Time. Find it here.

Image by Adriano Gadini from Pixabay

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How To Inspire Workplace Creativity

One challenge most leaders face is how to inspire more workplace creativity. Elevating people to higher standards of performance and inspiring useful ideas requires igniting their imaginations.

Open-door leaders are keen to prevent complacency and lethargy. They know that mental grooves of habit eventually form ruts of routine. When people see things the way they’ve always seen them, everything stays the same, dulling work to the point of drudgery.

Inspiring creativity and imagination often requires disrupting people’s mental routine and catching them off guard.

Inspiring Creativity in Practice

For example, a large manufacturer of paper plates held a series of marketing meetings. The division’s leader wanted people to remember that they weren’t just selling plates, cups, and napkins. They were working for a brand that was deeply connected to the family experience. To lift people out of the rut of discount thinking, he conducted a brainstorming meeting at a beautiful community park near the corporate headquarters.

The meeting was different because it was set up as a backyard barbecue. There were picnic tables with red-and-white checkered tablecloths, an outdoor grill sizzling with hotdogs and hamburgers, even outdoor games like horseshoes and tetherball. Of course, there was something else too: lots of the company’s plates, cups, and napkins. They weren’t just commodities; they were an essential part of the experience.

The division’s open-door leader had helped people shift their thinking away from commodities and toward values and traditions. The employees started seeing that on any summer day, their products were smack-dab in the middle of people’s backyard barbecues, picnics, and family birthday parties.

Creativity and Forward Thinking

By choosing to get people outside of their thinking routines, away from the four-walled environment of their workplace, the division leader helped shift people’s thinking for the better. When people started percolating on new marketing and product ideas, the word “discounting” never came up. Instead, they started talking about creative marketing campaigns designed to inspire the feelings of a warm summer afternoon. They talked about partnering with an outdoor grill company. They talked about new “summer flower” design borders for their plates and napkins. They talked about creating an interactive website where customers could swap their favorite picnic recipes.

By shifting people’s thinking and getting them away from the ordinary work environment, the open-door leader opened up a space for people to think in a more inspired way.

What are some ways that your organization typically tries to inspire creative ideas? What about the approach works well? What opportunities for improvement do you see?

First, identify a few one-word examples of unproductive or outdated thinking (e.g., apathetic, fearful). Second, list the healthier and more productive words you’d like reflected in people’s attitudes (e.g., initiative, courageous). Finally, list actions that you could take to shift people from the first column to the second (e.g., jointly set ambitious goals, institute temporary job rotations). And remember, to set a deadline for finishing each action!

When faced with the challenge of inspiring creativity, how will you change the workplace?

Want to learn more about developing those you lead? Check out the related topics:

Living LeadershipThe Growth Process

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

This post was updated April 2025

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Self-Centered Behavior

How can you tell when a leader is becoming tainted by hubris and self-centered behavior? We like the simple explanation offered by Patrick Decker, the retired CEO of Xylem, a multibillion-dollar water solutions company. As he was rising through the corporate ranks, Decker was fortunate to participate in a leadership development program where he received some mentoring advice from Larry Bossidy, the retired CEO of AlliedSignal (later Honeywell). Decker had asked Bossidy what to pay attention to when moving people into new and more substantial roles. Bossidy replied, “Watch for whether they grow or swell.” Decker explains, “When moving a person into a leadership role, I pay attention to the behaviors that start to show up.”:

Does the new leader:

Sponge up as much learning from others as possible?Get inquisitive?Ask for help and guidance?Show humility and solicit the input of others?Dedicate themselves to developing their direct reports, empowering them, and creating opportunities for development?

Or: 

Does their ego start to take over?Do they get territorial, focus too narrowly on their own objectives, or become jealous of their peers’ successes?Do they use intimidation as a shortcut to getting people to move?

Swelling is how you can tell when new leaders are letting power go to their heads, and the surest sign that a leader is headed for trouble.”

Swelling is another word for hubris, and as Decker suggests, it progresses to other damaging behaviors. As the offspring of hubris, these behaviors work to undermine and diminish a leader’s impact. Hubris is at the root of all sorts of other abhorrent and self-centered leader behavior, such as…

Self-centered BehaviorsRigidity

Backbone and resolve convey strength in a leader. But when a leader’s opinions and preferences are calcified to the point that they are shut off to new ideas and contemporary approaches, their influence slowly rots. Closed-minded leadership is characterized by a my-way-or-the-highway mentality, and entire organizations have fallen because of leadership rigor mortis.

Complacency

Vibrancy as a leader depends on continuously striving to gain new skills and competencies and embracing new approaches. Over time, though, a leader may come to rely too much on past experience, automating his response to new challenges that actually warrant novel approaches. Even a leader who starts out as part of the raucous revolution can eventually become part of the tired and entitled establishment. Complacency grows as passion diminishes. Before long complacency causes a leader to settle, expecting and accepting less of himself…and those being led.

Incompetence

A leader needs to have a depth of knowledge to engender confidence among those he is leading – leadership competence yields follower confidence. Conversely, people will quickly lose confidence if they sense that their leader doesn’t know what he’s doing. Hubris deludes a leader into thinking he knows more than he actually does, causing him to overestimate his talents and underestimate his limitations.

Intimidation

Make no mistake, fear gets results. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t be used by so many leaders as the primary means of motivating people. But fear has diminishing returns, eventually undermining the very returns a leader aims to get by stoking it. A leader’s job should be building people’s courage and confidence, not tearing them down by injecting them with fear and anxiety. Hubris sees it differently, using fear as a weapon of power to motivate and subjugate others.

Invulnerability

People need to know that the person behind the leader’s role is real and vulnerable, just like them. Vulnerability and authenticity help bridge the natural distance between followers and a leader. Human beings come equipped with authenticity detectors. They will be loyal and sympathetic to a leader who is conscious of his own weaknesses and limitations and likewise will distrust a leader whose heart is impenetrable and who pretends to be invulnerable. Hubris causes a leader to falsely portray himself as invincible and superior to all others.

Ingratitude

Above all, a leader is charged with getting results. But results are an end, and the means to getting those results is the hard work, passion, and abiding commitment of people. A leader needs followers more than followers need the leader because a leader’s results depend on their work. It’s simple really: without followers, you can’t be a leader. A leader who fails to express gratitude–generously and genuinely–will lose the hearts and minds of followers and undermine results in the process. As the purest form of self-centeredness, hubris withholds gratitude because acknowledging the contribution of others takes attention and acclaim away from the leader himself.

Self-Centered Choices

It may strike you as odd that deceit, or some similar word, is not included in our list of hubristic behaviors. We believe that most leaders are good and decent people right from the get-go. Even though a leader who’s ensnared by hubris will nearly always end up making self-centered and arrogant choices, he or she may not end up doing unethical things. There are plenty of bad but ethical leaders (though we don’t think the reverse is true).

There are also plenty of leaders who do bad things for reasons other than hubris (e.g., ignorance, desperation, substance abuse). That said, the leader who compromises core principles is certainly more prone to deceitful and unethical behavior, and it is these very compromises that the Killer wants to bring about. Why? Because each compromise removes a single brick from the larger foundation of a leader’s moral structure. If the Killer removes enough bricks, eventually there won’t be enough moral structure to support a leader’s overall integrity. Ultimately, deceit, in all its forms, stems from a collapse of morality. Victory is assured, for the Killer, when a leader loses moral grounding.

How can leaders balance confidence with humility to avoid the trap of hubris and maintain their effectiveness and integrity?

This post is based on an excerpt from The Leadership Killer: Reclaiming Humility in an Age of Arrogance.

Want to learn more about growth as a leader? Check out these other posts:

The Growth ProcessCultivate Growth

 

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

The post Self-Centered Behavior appeared first on Giant Leap Consulting.

Reaching Your Goals Begins Here

Most people perform better when they are heading toward a goal. But it is important to understand that the goals must motivate. If your goals leave you feeling inadequate, stressed out, or overworked, then you will lack the motivation to complete them. But where do you start with reaching your goals?

Reaching Goals That MotivateClarity

Clear goals are specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and time-bound (SMART). When a goal is clear and specific, people know what needs to be done and what is expected.

Challenge

We are often motivated by achievement, so we’ll judge a goal by how difficult we perceive it to be. If it is too easy, we won’t give it as much attention and energy. However, if it demands us to stretch ourselves in order to achieve the recognition of a job well done, we are more likely to be motivated to excel.

Commitment

For goal setting to be effective, the goals need to be agreed upon and understood. While this doesn’t mean you negotiate every goal with every employee, there is value in engaging the people working towards the goal in crafting it. When we help to create the stretch goal, we are more connected to the challenge and more willing to commit. The harder the goal, the more commitment is needed.

Task Complexity

For goals that are highly complex, we have to not only give people sufficient time to meet the goal, but actually provide the time to practice or learn skills that are necessary for success. The purpose of goal setting is successful achievement, so you have to be careful that the conditions around the goal support that success rather than stifle it.

Feedback

Incorporating feedback into the goal-setting process allows for expectations to be clarified, difficulty to be adjusted, and recognition to be given. In particular, when a goal is long-term in nature, it’s important to set benchmarks that help people gauge their success and see their achievement.

Once the goals are defined, each goal should be “drilled down” with specific objectives and measures. Objects can be thought of as the yardstick; measures can be thought of as the exact location on the yardstick of each goal area; and both short-term and long-term objectives and measures should be defined.

Remember, the goal is the outcome you want to achieve. The measures are how you’ll get there.

When determining your objectives and measures it can be helpful to ask, “How will we know when this goal is achieved?” “What, exactly, will be different around here when the goal is attained?”

I appreciate this simple statement from Sir Edmund Hillary: “You don’t have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things — to compete. You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals.”

Is your team achieving its goals? Does everyone pursue goals with accountability and ownership?

 

Want to learn more about reaching your goals? Check out these related topics:

Start the Year by Communicating Your Goals

Fighting Lost Motivation with Goal-Setting

 

Contact Giant Leap at info@www.giantleapconsulting.com to learn about our leadership workshops, including our Goal-setting and Accountability course. This post is excerpted and adapted from the course notebook.

 

Updated March 2025

Image by 巻（Maki） from Pixabay

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Living Leadership

There’s something you need to hear if you’re to be entrusted with leading others. It’s something that you’ve probably not read before, but something you deserve to know. Keep this in the forefront of your mind as you meet the challenges, and reap the rewards, of living leadership. Use this touchstone truth to keep your ego in check, your aims directed at those you’re leading, and your heart humble.

The message in this following article is simply this: regardless of how substantial the results you secure, how high the rank you achieve, how much wealth you attain, how many lives you impact, or how much deference or applause you receive, in the grand scheme of life, you ain’t nothing.

Remember these humble punch words and you’ll do very well. Why? Because you’ll be in charge of your ego, instead of the other way around.

Living Leadership in Perspective

As you progress in your leadership career and grow in influence, rank, and stature, never lose sight of the fact that you’re just a tiny speck in an infinite universe, like every other human being who ever lived…and died. It doesn’t matter how much money you make, how many people you lead, or how many grand achievements you amass, you will meet the same fate as everyone else. No one, regardless of status, escapes the descending ceiling which closes upon each of us, mercilessly, with each passing day. The old Italian proverb sums it up well, “At the end of the game, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.”

Faced with its own mortality, what’s an ego to do? Well, what it’s always done: protect you from harm and danger. Self-preservation is the ego’s most basic function, even if it means defending you from inescapable realities like your fallibility and imperfections. In this way, your ego is both your greatest ally and your worst enemy. It protects you through duplicity.

Without self-discipline, humility, and outside “checks,” your ego can come to inflate your sense of self to the point where all that matters is gratifying your own needs, prioritizing your own desires, and perpetuating your own leadership existence. The ego can puff up your self-importance until, eventually, you come to view those around you as lesser, irrelevant, and expendable. The bigger the ego gets, the more objectified and insignificant others will become, unless they have big egos too, in which case you’ll view them as competitive threats who, driven by their own ego-infused insecurities, could puncture the thin membrane of your leadership facade.

You Decide Whether Ego Wins

You may find it surprising, but what ego does with you and your leadership is up to you. Hubris wreaks havoc when your self-will runs amok. Hubris appears when you let your leadership power go to your head and you become enamored with your own specialness. Ego arises from immodesty, immaturity, and, above all, ego mismanagement. Yet, all it takes to make ego irrelevant is to stay humbly grounded in the ordinariness of your humanity.

Keeping hubris subdued requires always remembering the severe damage your leadership will do if your ego grows too big. Every person, regardless of upbringing education, or economic status, has the potential to do harm when they’re charged with leading others if their ego gets the best of them. For this reason, and to keep hubris perpetually at bay, never lose sight of your nonspecial and very commonplace life as you progress in your leadership. How often does a leader need to remember this essential hubris-neutralizing truth? Every. Single. Day.

It is interesting that the words “human” and “humility” have similar origins. Both stem from the Latin word humus, which means “earth” or “grounded.” Other related Latin words include humanus, humilitas, and the adjective humilis. The “hum” part of humans and humility are connected. Both, essentially, mean earthly or earthy (of the earth). To be human and to have humility, essentially, means being down to Earth.

How can you ensure that your leadership remains grounded and focused on serving others, rather than becoming inflated by ego and the desire for personal recognition?

Want to learn more about navigating leadership hurdles? Find valuable insight in these other posts:

Confidence and HumilityOn The Importance Of Leader Imperfection

 

This post is based on an excerpt from The Leadership Killer.

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich

The post Living Leadership appeared first on Giant Leap Consulting.

Fear of the Unknown

A lot has been written about the natural tendency to fear the unknown. In my opinion, the first (and perhaps best) description of this phenomenon comes from the 4000-year-old masterpiece of Plato. In The Republic, Socrates (an early Right Risk-taker) describes fear as being a function of knowledge versus ignorance. He draws an interesting parallel between the nature of dogs and humans, explaining that a dog will bark at a stranger regardless of whether the stranger has ever harmed him, but will be gentle with someone he knows, whether or not he has received kindness from him. Socrates notes that “knowing and not knowing are the sole criteria the dog uses to distinguish friend from enemy.”

The Unknown

Humans, too, will bark at what is foreign. What we are ignorant of, we are often afraid of. Consequently, the most unfamiliar things are often first viewed as a threat, and we put up our defenses. One way to reduce fear (i.e., ignorance) is to increase your exposure to the feared object or situation so that you gain knowledge of it. Psychologists call this the “mere-exposure effect,” meaning that we can grow more comfortable with something just by spending time with it.

When we acquaint ourselves with our fears, their debilitating effect on us dissipates.

A Moving Experience

I have a relative who is prejudiced. He grew up in New York where communities are tightly segmented by ethnic sections (Little Italy, Spanish Harlem, Chinatown, etc.). A few years ago he came to visit me in Atlanta. At the end of his visit, I took him to see the tomb of Martin Luther King, Jr., perhaps Atlanta’s most famous hero. We also toured the house where King was raised as a child. What started out as a whim turned out to be a profoundly moving experience for my relative. Having grown up during the tumultuous era of the civil rights movement and having witnessed race riots and looting in New York, he thought of King as a troublemaker and inciter.

But standing in King’s home, seeing where he ate, bathed, and slept made King more relatable. King the man was more accessible than King the provocative political figure. A simple tour of King’s home did more to reduce my relative’s prejudiced views than any finger-pointing on my part could have done. Seeing the ordinary man behind the extraordinary hero helped convert my relative’s ignorance into knowledge.

Socrates Says

As Socrates suggested, and as my relative experienced, fear changes from an enemy to a friend to the extent that you move from a condition of not knowing to knowing. And it is hard to know things you keep at a distance. Instead, relishing your risk requires that you spend time “merely exposed” to your risk. Thinking about starting a business? Take a weekend apprenticeship in the same field. Thinking about moving overseas? Take an extended trip abroad. You will remain hampered by fear of the unknown only as long as you remain loyal to your ignorance.

Interested in facing your fears? Learn more about Giant Leap Consulting’s leadership programs.

Want to learn more about navigating unknowns? Check out these related topics:

Courageously FearfulHow to Deal with Leadership Pressures

 

Image by WOKANDAPIX from Pixabay

 

Updated February, 2025

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The Growth Process

Every high-performing team goes through the growth process. It’s unavoidable. It doesn’t matter how talented the individuals are or how big their ambition is—every team, even the most seasoned, will encounter storms. And here’s the secret: those storms are important. Not just important, but necessary. They test the team’s resilience, they push the boundaries of relationships, and they help define what a team truly is.

This process of team evolution was first mapped out by psychologist Bruce Tuckman in 1965 with his Forming – Storming – Norming – Performing model. Tuckman’s framework lays out the predictable stages that all teams go through as they move from chaos to clarity, from uncertainty to high performance. These stages are not optional. They are inevitable, and they are crucial. If you’re serious about building a high-performing team, you have to embrace each stage. Let’s dig into these stages—and why each one is so essential to a team’s growth.

Forming: The Excitement (and Fear) of the Unknown

The Forming stage is where everything begins. The team is new, and there’s a lot of excitement in the air. The possibilities are endless—but so is the uncertainty. Team members are asking themselves the fundamental questions that will shape the dynamics moving forward: “Who are you?” and “Who am I going to be in this team?”

In this stage, team members may or may not know each other. They may not have worked together before, and there’s often a lack of clarity about roles and expectations. It’s essential to establish strong foundations here—clarity of purpose, understanding of the project goals, and clear roles and responsibilities. It’s also critical to have a Team Charter, where the group agrees on how they will work together and what behavior is expected.

But there’s one trap to watch out for in this phase: over-politeness. Teams often want to avoid conflict and make sure everyone feels comfortable, but if we are too compliant, we can slip into “groupthink,” where people suppress their true thoughts for fear of rocking the boat. Be careful here—honest conversations need to be encouraged from the start.

Storming: The Conflict That Sparks Growth

Ah, the Storming stage. The honeymoon period is over. The excitement fades, and the real work begins. Differences in work styles, communication preferences, and even personality clashes become more apparent. Challenges arise, tasks seem harder than anticipated, and tempers may flare. But here’s the thing: this is a normal stage. It’s even a necessary stage.

In the Storming phase, teams often experience friction, which can break into interpersonal conflicts and, yes, even factions within the group. At this stage, it’s critical to keep the focus on the goal. Conflict can be productive if handled well. Too much conflict, though, can derail progress, just as too little can stifle creativity and innovation. Healthy conflict is essential—it promotes creative tension, which leads to better problem-solving and stronger bonds when resolved.

If you’re leading a team during the Storming phase, it’s important to guide them through the discomfort and help them focus on solutions rather than the tension. Help them build trust by facilitating open conversations and reminding everyone that conflict is part of the process—not the end of the road.

Norming: Coming Together and Gaining Momentum

The Norming stage is where things start to click. The team has worked through its conflicts, found some common ground, and started to define how they will operate moving forward. At this stage, most members have a better understanding of each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and work styles.

Team members begin to appreciate the diversity of skills and perspectives that everyone brings to the table. This is when true collaboration happens—individuals start to gel as a cohesive group. There’s a growing sense of optimism, as people begin to see that they can work together effectively.

But don’t let your guard down too soon. While things may seem smooth in Norming, there’s still the risk of groupthink. If members become too eager to avoid conflict or keep the peace, it can stifle necessary debates and lead to suboptimal decisions. As a leader, your role here is to encourage openness and remind your team of the importance of constructive disagreement.

During this stage, it’s also essential to celebrate what the team has accomplished so far. Remind them of the challenges they’ve overcome and the progress they’ve made. Reinforcing this sense of achievement boosts morale and sets the stage for even greater performance.

Performing: The Peak of Team Excellence

And then, there’s the Performing stage. This is when the team is firing on all cylinders. Trust is high. Individuals are self-sufficient but also deeply interconnected. There’s a strong sense of shared responsibility, with each member focused not only on their own tasks but also on supporting their colleagues.

At this stage, the team has reached a level of maturity where conflict is rare and when it does arise, it’s resolved swiftly and constructively. The focus is squarely on achieving the goal, and the team has the autonomy and confidence to make decisions without constant direction from leadership.

Problems are no longer viewed as roadblocks—they are seen as opportunities for innovation. The team is high-functioning, working collaboratively to meet and exceed goals. There’s a deep sense of pride in the team’s collective accomplishments, and the individual contributions are celebrated just as much as the group’s success.

The Performing stage is the sweet spot, where the team is working efficiently and with excellence. It’s where the best work happens, where team members are most fulfilled, and where everyone feels like they are making a meaningful contribution.

Embrace the Growth Process

As you work to build high-performing teams, remember that these stages are not optional. They are the natural progression every team must go through to reach its potential. Even when the storms feel intense, they are part of the growth process. Embrace the mess, lean into the challenges, and celebrate the milestones along the way. In the end, it’s not just about achieving high performance; it’s about how the team gets there—together.

So, as you face the storms ahead, remember this: it’s not about avoiding conflict. How will you navigate the storm?

 

Want to learn more about development and growth? Check out these related posts:

Tips For Leaders Who Lead Teams Of LeadersPersonal Transformation Through LeadershipThis post was based on excerpts from the Go Team Go: Leading Teams Workshop. Learn more about Giant Leap Consulting’s workshops here.Image by 현 정 from Pixabay

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On The Importance Of Leader Imperfection

Leadership is a messy business… at least when it’s being done right. However, is there room for leader imperfection?

It requires making bold decisions, often while relying on ambiguous, shifting, or contradictory information. Sometimes you have to get it wrong, a lot before you can get it right. Just ask any leader in Silicon Valley, where having had some spectacular failures is how you get your business creds.

To be sure, results reign supreme, and amassing a track record of stellar results will determine one’s legacy as a leader. High standards matter. But leaders shouldn’t be judged against a standard of perfection — because it’s a willingness to be imperfect that fuels a leader’s ability to experiment, innovate, and evolve. Unless a leader has the courage to try new things, where perfect outcomes are not guaranteed, she will never grow.

When it comes to leadership, imperfection is more important than perfection.

Let’s face it, some tasks demand a rigor of perfection. If you’re a bridge-builder, air traffic controller, or brain surgeon, you are expected to do your job right every time. No exceptions. But it’s the task that’s expected to be perfect, not the person doing the task. It doesn’t matter if you’re socially awkward, a subpar communicator, or if you dress in secondhand vintage clothing. No one cares that you aren’t a perfect human being.

Perfectionists have few rivals in their ability to annoy and repel others. Conversely, imperfections and idiosyncrasies are often the most endearing human qualities. Doing some critical tasks perfectly makes perfect sense. Being a perfect human being does not.

Here are a few tips for embracing your leadership imperfection.

History and Your Leader Imperfection

Think back on all the risks you’ve taken, and mistakes you’ve made, during the course of your career. Which ones are you most proud of? How did the mistakes you made help you become the person you are today? What does that tell you about the value of making mistakes?

Let Go

What tasks are you holding on to because you’re convinced that others won’t do them as well as you do? Perfectionists make great micromanagers. But micromanagers don’t make great leaders. Let go of tasks that others deserve the chance to do.

Bust Up Your Routines

Perfectionists are habitualists, preferring tried and true over new and improved. Leaders, conversely, are expected to bring about positive change. Purposely disrupt your habits and break up your routines. Try a different route to work, order something new off the menu, and let someone else lead the meeting. You get the idea.

Reward Smart Mistakes

Value imperfection in the people you lead. When they make non-habitual mistakes, especially mistakes that key the business on to new business insight, always high-five the mistake-maker.

Keep in mind that perfectionism doesn’t just inhibit a leader’s ability to take risks; it inhibits her ability to enjoy it as well. Nobody’s perfect, not even the perfectionist! So if you’re a person who can’t be fully satisfied until things are perfect, you’ll be perpetually dissatisfied. Perfectionism, then, is a joyless experience. Knowing that imperfection is a way more attractive leadership proposition!

Next time you’re facing leader imperfection, will you embrace it?

Want to learn more about the struggles we deal with as leaders? Check out these related posts:

How to Deal with Leadership PressuresDelegation Can Be Your Friend

 

Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

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