Bryan Lunduke's Blog, page 3
August 7, 2021
The Internet of Things is Going to Destroy Us All
Back in 2017, The Linux Foundation held a conference in Portland, Oregon: “The Open Internet of Things Summit & Embedded Linux Conference“
As soon as I saw this was happening… I couldn’t resist proposing the following presentation:
“The volcanic eruption at Pompeii. The asteroid that took out the dinosaurs. The Internet of Things. If you classify all three of these things as “disasters of historical proportions”, you’d be right. The Internet of Things is, quite possibly, the most dangerous thing to happen to the Internet — and our modern way of life — in a long time. Give me 1 hour. I’ll prove it to you.”
To my surprise, they accepted.
And, despite my well documented long-wind-ed-ness, it only ended up taking me 20 minutes to make my point.
You can watch this ridiculous show over at Lunduke.Locals.com.
(It’s free for everyone. Even those that don’t become supporters. But you should still become a supporter. Because it’ll make you feel all warm and squishy.)
The Lunduke Journal (Classic), issues 1 – 3
The first three issues of The Lunduke Journal are available to download as a single PDF file (DRM-Free, naturally), for all supporters of The Lunduke Journal.
110 pages of retro computing, nerdy comic strips, and nerdy arts and crafts (including color by number, cross stitch, and paper dolls of Tux the Penguin).
Seriously.
Just pure, happy, nerdiness.
This was all before The Lunduke Journal started doing Tech satire. A glimpse into The Lunduke Journal’s past.
Join up at Lunduke.Locals.com (which is the best, nerdiest, happiest community on Earth), and download the first three issues right here:
https://lunduke.locals.com/post/931783/the-lunduke-journal-classic-issues-1-3
Road-Sign Hank and the Aliens
Back in 2011, a decade ago, I began writing a comic book.
A book about aliens invading earth, done in the art style of road signs. It was a goofy, family friendly, 1950’s-esque sci-fi adventure.
And the critics loved it.
“Not only is the self-referential quality one of the finer points of the series, but the humorous writing makes the reader want to read every last word, instead of being tempted to skim.”
“Bryan Lunduke does not rest or depend on the fact that his style of artwork is purely based on road-signs; he takes advantage of this and backs up the pictures with hilarious text.”
From Wired:
“Some comics rely on gorgeous art. Some on fantastic writing. And some rely on that very hard to find sweet spot where the art and the dialogue work together to create something that is greater than the whole. That’s the case with Road-Sign Hank and the Aliens.”
Despite the overwhelmingly positive critical response, life (read: day job) interfered and I had to put Hank on hold. I hope to resume this story once life allows. In the meantime, the critically acclaimed issues #1 and #2 are available to enjoy. These are great to read to kids… nothing objectionable in here at all. You could read these to your toddler.
The digital version (in both PDF — DRM free, naturally) is available as a perk for everyone one of you lovely subscribers:
August 3, 2021
Apple bans “whimsy” from iOS App Store
Apple has announced updated policies for it’s iPhone and iPad App Store which include a ban on any and all Apps that are “Whimsical in nature”.
“When we banned all emulators from the App Store, we were hoping people would take the hint,” stated Tim Cook, CEO of Apple. “We banned a Nintendo Entertainment System emulator. Then we banned a Commodore 64 emulator, for Pete’s sake. Now we’re banning a DOS emulator. But developers keep submitting Apps that are too darned whimsical! I mean, come on, man! How much more clear do we need to get? No whimsy. Period!”
The new App Store policy specifically forbids any App that is determined to have a “Whimsy Scale” rating of 5.7 or higher.
“Our engineers have worked, around the clock, to construct the Apple Whimsy Scale ™ system,” stated Tor Myhren, Apple VP of Marketing. “This 10 point scale accurately determines just how whimsical an App is. For example: Twitter earned a 1 on the Whimsy Scale, providing almost no joy whatsoever. Twitter can stay. Whereas iDOS, a DOS game emulator, earned an 9 on the Whimsy Scale. Which is, quite simply, an unacceptable level of whimsy. It’s gotta go.”
Current Apps which violate the new rule will be given 30 days to de-Whimsy, at which point developers are encouraged to re-submit for evaluation… or be removed from the App Store entirely.
“A good general rule,” one Apple engineer told The Lunduke Journal, “is that if something about the App you are developing makes you smile… it might make someone else smile too. So you better just get rid of it. Best to not take any chances.”
July 31, 2021
Half a Decade of Linuxy Shenanigans
Between 2012 and 2017, I wrote articles for Network World on Linux, security, alternative Operating Systems, and related topics.
I have collected all of those articles – completely un-modified – into one book. A snapshot of what those particular 5 years looked like in the Linux world.
570 pages of Linux-y history and shenanigans. All in a nice eBook.
Over 200,000 words. More than the longest book in the Lord of the Rings series. Longer than the first two Harry Potter books combined.
Linux and alternative OS reviews, guides on securing and de-Googling your life, predictions, hardware reviews, breaking news, interviews… if something worth talking about happened in the Linux world, between 2012 and 2017, this book covers it.
“Half a Decade of Linux-y Shenanigans” is available as a DRM-Free eBook, exclusively to all of the supporters of The Lunduke Journal who subscribe to Lunduke.Locals.com:
July 30, 2021
The Lunduke Journal banned from Reddit
We here at The Lunduke Journal (and we use “we” in the royal sense of the word) don’t use Reddit very often — having posted to the site only a handful of times over the last year.
This week, the satire piece “C programming language removes racist semicolon” was posted to a humor subreddit. Because… why not?
Shortly thereafter, this occurred:
That’s right. The Lunduke Journal is officially banned from Reddit.
It’s ok. I get it. Satire and comedy articles on computer programming topics can be frightening.
I mean, heck. Nerdy satire is literally violence.
What Reddit is doing isn’t really deplatforming or censorship. No, sir! Reddit is practically saving lives here.
This is one of the reasons that The Lunduke Journal does not rely on websites like Reddit, Twitter, YouTube, or Facebook. At any moment you can be banned for making a family friendly, silly comment — or stating a simple piece of common sense. Lunduke.com, Lunduke.Locals.com, and Odysee.com/@Lunduke are always the best ways to enjoy the family friendly, nerdy happiness and common sense of The Lunduke Journal.
Linux For Hank (children’s book)
Back in 2013, I wrote a children’s book for my daughter.
A book about Linux… that I could read to a 2 year old. That’s “Linux for Hank“.
The digital version (in both PDF format — DRM free, naturally) is available as a perk for everyone who subscribes to The Lunduke Journal via Lunduke.Locals.com.
You can grab the book right here:
July 29, 2021
Just one more patch and the entire Internet will be secure
Earlier today, engineers representing the major software firms — including Google, Microsoft, and Apple — made a joint announcement that they are one software patch away from completely securing the entire Internet.
“We did it! We finally secured the whole Internet,” exclaimed one proud engineer. “After this last patch gets applied, every single website and Internet connected device will be secure and nobody will ever get hacked again!”
Cybersecurity Experts ™ flocked to Twitter to proclaim the good news.
“It was always just a matter of time. Eventually we were going to be able to fully secure the whole Internet, and now we’ve done it! There’s just no possible way to hack anything on the Internet now!” — Amanda Zedfreid
“I’ve always said that the best way to fully secure complex, incredibly large, interconnected, interdependent pieces of software is to simply keep adding more code. More code = more secure! We finally added enough code that everything is 100% secure!” — Stephen Renaldo
But not everyone was pleased with the news.
“Curses!” declared one shadowy, nefarious hacker who was probably paid by Putin or something. “We were just about to do some really good hacking, too! Now we’ll never be able to hack again and probably should just to get a job at Facebook or something!”
July 28, 2021
California outlaws computers that are “too fun”
The governor of California announced today that he will be immediately be signing a new law aimed at limiting computers deemed to be “too fun”.
“California is committed to fighting the pandemic of fun computers currently plaguing our state,” declared the Governor in a statement to The Lunduke Journal. “Climate change. Discrimination. Covid. These are some pretty scary words. And, with this new law banning all fun computers, we are taking bold steps where we can mention those words in a press release.”
Newly outlawed “fun computers” include any computers with one or more of the following:
Processors that are too fastMonitors with refresh rates that do not give you a headacheKeyboards with keys are are “pretty clicky”PC cases that “look rad” or have “cool LEDs”Any Operating System other than “Windows 10 Business Cubicle Edition”In order to fully comply with the new law, Dell Computer is shipping a new desktop, only available in California, dubbed the “Boring As Heck PC”. This new line contains absolutely nothing worth getting excited about and has removed every feature that might accidentally make a person smile.
July 27, 2021
What if UFO’s are really…
… I mean. If we’re going to occam’s razor things. It’s probably the most logical explanation.
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