Bryan Lunduke's Blog

The Lunduke Journal has moved to Substack

All new articles from The Lunduke Journal are now being published on Lunduke.Substack.com.

Want the latest Nerdy Satire, Opinion, or How-To pieces? Head to Lunduke.Substack.com and sign up for a free account. You’ll get every article sent straight to your E-Mail Inbox as soon as they are published.

Handy, right?

Alternatively, you can create an account over at Lunduke.Locals.com. All articles are posted there as well.

The majority of articles are free for the world to enjoy. You can also pitch in a few bucks (either on Locals or Substack) if you are an extra awesome person. Which you probably are.

Lunduke & Friends – 8/26/2021

Lunduke & Hartley take a bunch of nerdy, happy questions… and wrestle with the fact that the Internet barely works half the time.

Can’t go wrong!

Watch Part 1 on YouTube or Lunduke.Locals.com.

The Internet was being stupid. Or perhaps it was just Google. Either way, the chat got way out of sync at one point. Which was both frustrating… and highly amusing. Luckily those issues were resolved in Part 2.

Watch Part 2 exclusively on Lunduke.Locals.com.

I highly recommend watching them over on Lunduke.Locals.com. No ads. None. It’s just a better experience.

And if you haven’t signed up as a Supporter of The Lunduke Journal yet, now is the time, my friends. There are so many great perks. Plus an amazing community. And warm fuzzy feelings. Come on. Do it. Take the plunge. You know you want to.

Linux turns 30, burned out, decides it’s time for a career change

Linux, the venerable Operating System kernel, turns 30 years old this week. And, on his 30th birthday, Linux has decided he wants to make some life changes.

“I’ve spent the last three friggin’ decades powering smart phones and servers across the whole gosh darned planet,” said Linux as he sat down for an exclusive interview with The Lunduke Journal. “Heck, you see how many super computers I run? It’s like… all of them! All of them! It’s nuts! That’s too much pressure! There’s even a handful of people running me on their desktop computers. I think. Do people still do that? Whatever. It’s all pretty exhausting.”

Now, as Linux looks forward to his 31st year, he’s ready to shake things up.

“I’m just burned out, dude,” stated Linux as he gazed off into the distance. “I mean. I used to think I could do this work forever. But then the suits came in and bought everyone out. Everything just got so corporate and stuffy. You see that Microsoft pays my salary now? What the heck is up with that? 15-year-old-me would beat 30-year-old-me up! Oh! Oh! And if I have to sit through one more STUPID status meeting with the freaking Linux Foundation I’m going to freaking lose it, man.”

So what does the future hold for Linux? He was a bit cagey about that.

“I need to take some ME time, you know? I’m thinking of taking a painting class,” said Linux. “Still life. Like bowls of fruit and stuff. Heck, maybe that’ll be a job for me. I bet I could draw some wicked good fruit. If that doesn’t work out… shoot… anything not in an office.”

As for a transition plan, to move the Operating Systems of the planet to a different kernel, Linux had this to say:

“You ever seen the movie Office Space? I think I’m gonna do that. Just… not go to work. You know. Just like… not go. See how long they keep paying me. Man, that’s a good movie. Maybe I’ll watch that tonight. Oh! Oh! I should smash up a printer with a bat! I’ve always wanted to do that! Bet that feels friggin’ awesome!”

Facebook launches Virtual Reality “waiting in line at the DMV”

Hot on the heels of Facebook’s launch of “Horizon Workrooms” — the company’s innovative approach to making virtual reality office meetings as boring as possible — Mark Zuckerberg and company are announcing another new Virtual Reality experience: “Horizon DMV”.

“We are committed to taking the most boring, mundane, hated parts of real life… and turning them into VR experiences,” stated CEO, Mark Zuckerberg. “Imagine if you could put on your Oculus VR Goggles and be magically transported to a large, heartless, soul crushing DMV office. Where you can wait in line, in real time, for services. We are making that dream a reality.”

“The attention to detail is astounding,” stated one of the early Beta testers of Horizon DMV. “After waiting in line for over 4 hours, Oculus goggles strapped to my face, without talking to any other humans in line… I finally got up to the counter. A legless avatar of a DMV lady — with life-less, zombie eyes — told me I didn’t have the right paperwork. So to the back of the line I went. They really captured the DMV experience. Even the fluorescent lighting looked right — I could almost feel my will to live being sucked out through my eyeballs. The future is now!”

The company is also announcing multiple, upcoming VR experiences, using the “Horizon” brand, to be launched over the coming months, including:

Horizon: Stuck in TrafficHorizon: Waiting For an Amazon DeliveryHorizon: Opening Junk MailHorizon: On Hold With The BankHorizon: Slow Internet ConnectionHorizon: Small Talk with Heidi about Her Dog’s Medical Conditions

“This is so much better than real life,” stated Zuckerberg. “And I would know. Because I’m definitely a human and not a lizard person. So I definitely understand what fellow humans want.”

Lunduke’s Guide to Choosing a Linux Distribution

Selecting the best Linux distribution for you can be a daunting task. With so many Linux-based Operating Systems to choose from… simply narrowing the list of options down can be overwhelming!

Ubuntu? Debian? Fedora? Gentoo? Arch? Who knows! And that’s just the tip of the iceberg!

Luckily, Lunduke has tried every single Linux distribution on the planet. From Hannah Montana Linux to Lindows… and every distro in between. If a Linux distro exists, Lunduke has taken it for a spin around the proverbial block.

Lucky for you, Lunduke has distilled this vast — and impressive — knowledge down into an incredibly simple to follow, visual guide that will help you to pick your perfect Linux distribution.

Follow this guide and you, like so many others before you, will reach Linux Nirvana.

Elon Musk announces something awesome. Critics complain: Musk has “money”, “personality”.

Elon Musk, the engineer and entrepreneur behind Tesla and SpaceX, has just announced another groundbreaking, earth-shatteringly awesome project.

Musk took to Twitter to promote his new, mind-bogglingly radical endeavor:

“Electric, self-driving cars. Underground travel. Artificial Intelligence. Space Ships. And now… THIS. Shaboooooey!”

But not everyone was happy with Elon Musk’s latest attempt at making the best parts of Sci-Fi a reality.

“Can you believe the audacity of this guy! I mean! Seriously! He has way too much money! That invalidates the awesome things he’s done! And I’m not just saying that because I’m jealous of his success! Which I’m definitely not” shouted one angry Twitter user at nobody in particular.

“Have you noticed how Elon Musk has a personality?! I hate when well known people have personalities! I mean… who does he think he is!? A regular human being with thoughts and feelings that he’s allowed to express or something?!,” demanded another.

“OMG! Musk said that one thing, that one time! And I disagree with that thing! Get him,” wrote 274 brand new Twitter accounts with zero followers.

“Blah, blah, blah. Space ships and robots are so last year,” wrote Microsoft Founder, Bill Gates. “Have you seen the video clips where I turn poop into water and drank it? That’s WAY cooler.”

When asked for comment on Elon Musk’s new, mind-blowingly astounding project, Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos, reportedly mumbled a naughty word under his breath then kicked a dog.

New “Rainbow Cow Fart” Linux vulnerability discovered

A new, local privilege escalation vulnerability has been discovered which impacts all Linux systems dating back to, at least, 1997.

This new vulnerability, known as “Rainbow Cow Fart”, is sending shockwaves through the InfoSec and SysAdmin communities.

“We’ve never grappled with anything like Rainbow Cow Fart before,” stated one security researcher. “By running one simple command, using two commonly available tools, any user — on any Linux system — immediately gains full root access. This compromises the security of all Linux desktops, servers, and embedded devices around the world. Rainbow Cow Fart is, in a word, devastating.”

The exploit simply requires the following line to be executed within the terminal of any Linux system:

cowsay fart | lolcat

The process of gaining root access via this method is so simple, that many developers and SysAdmins are baffled as to how it wasn’t already discovered.

“Once they caught a whiff of this, critics of Linux security really started rubbing Rainbow Cow Fart in our faces,” stated one Linux kernel engineer on the condition of anonymity. “At this point, the exploit is everywhere. The Internet is covered in Rainbow Cow Fart. I bet Microsoft is loving this.”

“The insinuation that we are enjoying Rainbow Cow Fart is, frankly, insulting,” stated Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadella. “There is nothing Microsoft takes more seriously than Rainbow Cow Fart. Our Azure Cloud services depend heavily on Linux. And, right now, our Cloud is being overwhelmed by Rainbow Cow Fart.”

One Fortune 500 company has temporarily ceased all operations at their corporate headquarters, issuing the following internal memo:

“Due to the explosive nature of the Rainbow Cow Fart, we have no choice but to close down until we can clear the air.”

Lunduke & Friends – 8/22/2021

Behold! Lunduke & Friends! In two parts!

Part 1 is available on Lunduke.Locals.com & YouTube. Part 2 is only available on Lunduke.Locals.com.

Part 1 – YouTube or Lunduke.Locals.com

Topics:

Thoughts on Proton & Steam’s impact on Linux gaming.If I could not use any retro tech — and had to go all-in on ONE modern computing platform — what would it be?When Tech conferences are going again (in person)… what would I talk about?Blasters vs Phasers vs Disruptors.Small Closed Source Projects vs Large Open Source Projects.

Watch on YouTube or Lunduke.Locals.com.

Part 2 – Only on Lunduke.Locals.com

Topics:

Extreme Mini Golf makes for great TV (Holey Moley).Update on using openBSD for a personal OS.Thoughts on Apple’s CSAM scanning… and privacy implications.Woah. This gets heavy.The most popular satire pieces this month surprised me.

Watch on Lunduke.Locals.com.

The Lunduke Journal Quarterly – Volume 1

Looking for a single e-Book that contains a boat-load of nerdy satire? An e-Book poking fun at Linux, web browsers, Windows, iOS, programming languages, video game consoles, and major computer companies?

Of course you are. You’re only human.

Well, as luck would have it, The Lunduke Journal Quarterly – Volume 1 is now available for download!

This volume contains all of the nerdy, computer-y satire published here at the Lunduke Journal over the last few months — Nerdy, snarky, and glorious.

It is a DRM-Free (naturally) PDF that you can download, store whenever you like, and read with whatever software you want. The Lunduke Journal doesn’t impose any ridiculous restrictions. That’s just not how we roll.

Volume 1 of The Lunduke Journal Quarterly is a only available to supporters at Lunduke.Locals.com. It is just one (of many) perks that supporters get in exchange for pitching in a few bucks to keep the lights on at The Lunduke Journal.

YouTube fact checks video that references YouTube fact checking video about “Lizard People”

YouTube recently fact checked a satirical video, published by The Lunduke Journal, about “Lizard People.”

That original satirical video — entitled “Facebook, YouTube ban discussion of Lizard People” — contained the following line:

“YouTube has also announced an update to their algorithm that will automatically detect anti-Lizard bias and flag videos accordingly.”

YouTube responded to this piece of satire, by adding the following warning to the video:

Was this an attempt at self deprecating humor on the part of YouTube?

Is it satire becoming reality?

Or, perhaps, is this proof that YouTube is run by, as they call themselves, “Reptilian humanoids”?

We can only speculate.

The Lunduke Journal then did what any hard-hitting (satirical) news outlet would do: we published a follow-up video entitled, “YouTube fact checks satire video about Lizard People“.

That video has now — and this is 100% serious… YouTube actually did this — been fact checked (see screenshot below).

While The Lunduke Journal has no inside information as to YouTube’s motivation for these fact checks, one thing is quite clear:

YouTube is very concerned about satire relating to Lizard People.