Ruth Soukup's Blog, page 57

10 Meals in an Hour™: Part 10

Here at Living Well Spending Less we are 100% committed to bringing you easy recipes that taste great and don’t take a lot of time, effort, or expensive ingredients to throw together.  As a busy mom, I also want meals that can be made and frozen ahead of time to save time on hectic weeknights, especially as part of a Sunday Prep plan.  My goal is to spend less time in the kitchen, not more, but I still want to be able to provide tasty meals that my family loves (and avoid eating out when we can!)

Over the past year and a half we have shared seven different 10 Meals in an Hour™ plans, which have each included 5 great freezer recipes that can be prepared together in about sixty minutes. (You can find the previous plans here: Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5  , Part 6, Part 7 , Part 8 and Part 9. They have been a huge hit, not only with our own families, but with many of your families as well, and we’ve absolutely loved hearing how much you all are enjoying these tasty recipes!

Today I am s0 excited to share with you another NEW series of awesome freezer to crockpot recipes.

As usual, in order to make the cut, each recipe must meet ALL of the following criteria:

Deemed delicious by both my kids and husband
No pre-cooking required (aside from browning veggie crumbles)
Freezer friendly
Easy to cook
Uses budget-friendly ingredients and pantry staples

In this one post you will find everything you need to prep 10 awesome freezer meals in about an hour of hands-on time (not including grocery shopping.)   Just think, in just one quick weekend session you could have almost two weeks worth of absolutely delicious, family-friendly meals all ready to go!

Before you begin, you will need to gather your tools & supplies and also make sure that you have all your groceries on hand. I find it is easiest to go grocery shopping the day before I do my cooking.  To save time unloading, only put away the items that need to be refrigerated.  Finally, make sure your kitchen counters are cleared of clutter and sanitized and empty your dishwasher and sink of any dishes.  (Check out this post for more tips on freezer cooking like a pro!)

Here are the five recipes we will be making:

Sweet & Spicy Ribs
Slow Cooker Stuffed Peppers
Chicken Jambalaya
Easy Salsa Chicken
Freezer to Crockpot Buffalo Chicken Wings

Here are the supplies you will need:

10 gallon size zipper freezer bags
labels or permanent marker
large mixing bowl
cutting board
sharp knife
garlic press
can opener
dry measuring cups
liquid measuring cups
dry measuring spoons
liquid measuring spoons
colander
 

Here are the ingredients you will need:

Produce
2 small yellow onion
14-16 green, red or yellow bell peppers
1-2 cloves garlic
2 bunches celery
1 bunch of green onions
 
Pantry Staples
Ketchup
Brown sugar
Apple cider vinegar
Worcestershire sauce
Sriracha sauce
Red Pepper Flakes
Black pepper
Seasoned salt
Salt
Cayenne pepper
1 1.25 oz.  packet chili seasoning
Hot sauce (optional; cooking day only)
Barbecue sauce(optional; cooking day only)  
 
Canned/Dry Goods
2 32 oz. jars chunky salsa
1 15 oz. can kidney beans
2 15 oz. cans black beans
1 16 oz. bag rice

2 15 oz. cans fire roasted diced tomatoes
1 8 oz. can tomato sauce
2 10 oz. cans Rotel diced tomatoes and green chilies
1 32oz. carton chicken or vegetable stock

1 box  Zatarians Jambalaya mix (optional; cooking day only)
Liquid smoke (optional)
2 bottles wing sauce
 
Dairy
2 8oz. bag sharp cheddar cheese, shredded (cooking day only)
Butter
1 container chunky blue cheese dressing ( optional: cooking day only)
 
Meat
6-8 pounds boneless, skinless chicken thighs or breasts
2 packages vegetarian crumbles or 2 pounds ground beef
1- 14 oz. package kielbasa turkey sausage
6-8 pounds of pork ribs
4 pounds chicken wings ( I used frozen wings)
 
Bread
Fajita shells (optional;cooking day only)
 
 

PRINT

Be sure to print the following pages before getting started:

Printable labels (designed to work with Avery 8163 shipping labels)
Printable Shopping List
Printable Prep & Prepare Instructions

Be sure to also print the following recipes:

Easy Salsa Chicken
Slow Cooker Stuffed Peppers
Sweet & Spicy Ribs
Chicken Jambalaya


Freezer to Crockpot Buffalo Chicken Wings

PREP

Prep your bags—either print labels using these ready-made printable labels or use a permanent marker to label each bag with the name of the recipe, date prepared, and cooking instructions. DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP! While you might think that you’ll remember what is in every bag, I promise you will forget!
Brown veggie crumbles (or ground meat) and set aside
Cut sausage into bit size pieces and set aside.
Chop onions and set aside
Clean and chop 2 of the green peppers and set aside.
Clean and scoop out seeds of the rest of the peppers ( for stuffed pepper recipe)
Peel and mince garlic and set aside
Open up all the cans needed for prep day and set aside.
Prep raw chicken and cut 2-3 pounds into bit size pieces for Jambalaya.

PREPARE

Prep Easy Salsa Chicken using instructions found here .  Divide chicken into 2 freezer bags and cover with salsa, press out excess air, and seal well.  Place bags in refrigerator.
Prep Slow Cooker Stuffed Peppers using instructions found here . Divide stuffed peppers into 2 freezer bags, press out excess air, and seal well.  Place bags in refrigerator.
Prep Sweet & Spicy Ribs using instructions found here . Divide ribs into 2 freezer bags, then divide sauce mixture over top of ribs. Place bags in refrigerator.
Prep Chicken Jambalaya using instructions found here . Divide mixture into 2 freezer bags, then press out excess air and seal well.  Place bags in refrigerator.
Prep Freezer to Crockpot Buffalo Chicken Wings using instructions found here .  Place chicken wings into 2 freezer bags and cover with wing mixture, then press out excess air and seal well.  Place bags in refrigerator.
Once all prep is complete, place all bags in freezer until needed.  After you’ve made your meal plan for the coming week, consider setting an alert on your phone to remind you to take your bag out to thaw the day before you plan to make it.

 

P.S.  The new Living Well Planner has a  SIMPLIFIED MEAL PLANNING section. It gives you the option to plan just one meal a day, or all three. Check it out HERE.

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8 Sneaky Retail Traps (& how to avoid them)

This is a guest post from Andrea Woroch

Today’s economy is in a much better place since the recession, but consumers have adopted a new way of shopping since those dark days. They continue seeking deals and seem more bargain hungry than ever. This is why retailers are still struggling to regain the hold they once held on our wallets. While discounts and promotions are effective in creating interest, such strategies ultimately cut into the retailer’s bottom line. Stores are now designing deals so devious that shoppers don’t realize they’re being duped into spending more until it’s too late.

To save your hard-earned cash for real deals, consider these seven common retail traps and how to avoid them.

1. Clearance items
Buying on something clearance is typically a budget win, but only if you intended to buy that item in the first place. By positioning the sale rack or clearance bin at the entrance of a store, retailers are wooing customers with cheap impulse buys. Some stores even position these racks outside their entrances to encourage passersby to peruse and potentially make a purchase. Before you search through the clearance or sale sections, keep in mind what brought you to the store and don’t buy anything that doesn’t fit the description, regardless of the price.

2. Limited-time deals
Creating urgency is one of retail’s most effective sales strategies. A quick glance at Macy’s homepage yields several urgent messages, including “Hurry and shop the latest picks before they’re gone!” and “Don’t miss more great deals!” Even the common add-on “while supplies last” is designed to compel customers to spend before an item or deal is no longer available. In reality, there will always be another sale or deal and products will be restocked. Don’t fall for these messages and buy only when you’re ready!

3. Buy more, save more
When a store suggests that spending more will actually save you more money, consider it a red flag. In some cases, these tiered offers actually save you the same percentage regardless of how much is spent. For example, Lane Bryant is currently offering $25 off $75, $50 off $150 or $75 off $225. The average customer may feel compelled to spend over $200 in order to save $75, but the person who spends just $75 will save the same: 33% of her purchase. Just remember: the more you spend, the more you spend, period!

 

4. New store card discount
At checkout, customers are used to hearing a pitch like this: “Would you like to save 10% by opening a store credit card today?” Most cashiers are incentivized and even required to push the store’s credit card to drive repeat business. However, the low credit limits and high APRs associated with these cards are rarely a good deal, especially when coupons are available to help you save. It’s not just the physical stores that push credit cards, either; even Amazon uses this strategy, offering a free $10 gift card when you sign up for a Store Card, though you can easily find an Amazon promo code from sites like Coupon Sherpa for similar savings.

5. Bounce-back coupons
Kohl’s Cash, Cabela’s Bucks, Limited Virtual Dollars — these offers are given to customers once they reach a certain spend threshold, and then can only be applied during a specified time period on purchases over a certain amount. These vouchers accomplish two things: one, they drive you to spend more during your initial visit to earn them; and two, they compel you to return and spend the deal you “earned.” Don’t let the promise of future savings dictate how much you spend today or in the future. Instead, spend what you planned to spend and use the voucher if you happen to earn it and planned to spend during that timeframe, anyway.

 

6. Threshold offers
While consumers might not be familiar with the industry term “threshold offers,” they certain recognize this deal: “Get free shipping on orders of $49 or more.” Once shoppers reach a certain spending threshold, then the offer kicks in. Most “free” shipping deals are threshold offers which retailers use to encourage shoppers to spend a certain amount. In many cases, these thresholds are higher than the average order placed with the retailer, driving up sales while making customers feel like they’re receiving the better end of the deal. Recognize these offers for what they are and look for other ways to dodge delivery, like scouting for codes on FreeShipping.org or waiting until a holiday weekend when real free shipping offers are more common.

7. High-Low pricing
Retailers reduce prices of certain items while lowering profit margins on those goods to excite bargain-seeking shoppers who are searching for a deal. Items on sale will rotate to attract a wide customer base and ultimately creates a favorable opinion of the store while developing loyalty. Though some prices are truly low, others are marked up with the intention of getting you to buy a few of these over-priced items. For instance, most people associate stores like Walmart and even Amazon for having the cheapest prices across category goods but this isn’t the case. That’s why it’s crucial for you to compare prices before buying anything. Use apps like ShopSavvy for instant in-store price comparison and download the Invisible Hand browser tool for alerts when something you’re eyeing online is offering for less at another site.

8. Dressing room deceit
While not so much a deal, the dressing room is a prime target for retailers to commit some of the highest level of deceit by leveraging self esteem and image to dupe you into buying something you may not have in the first place. Using dim lighting and tilted or distorted mirrors, stores create the perfect reflection of the best you yet. These tactics make you appear leaner, longer, skinnier and a bit more tan—all of which contribute to a preferable image. Retailers know that when you like what you see in the mirror, you will feel good and are more likely to purchase those goods. In fact, I recently spoke with Today’s Jeff Rossen and provided my input on this topic in this segment. Combat this trickery by checking mirrors on the regular retail floor and make sure items can be returned for your full money back in case you’re not pleased with what you see when you get home.

When a deal is worthwhile

Though many of the discount tactics I’ve outlined are used as strategies to get you to spend, there are plenty of sales that can offer savings when you’re faced with a necessary purchase. For instance, replacing a faulty kitchen appliance or buying your kids new clothes and shoes as they continue to grow are such circumstances in which a holiday “blowout” sale, coupon code or reward bucks may come in handy. The trick is to be conscious of your shopping situation instead of letting the sales and deals dictate what you buy. Get in the habit of only looking for coupons or daily deals when you need them and turn to end-of-season sales in anticipation of future needs. Fall apparel, for example, makes its debut in August just in time for back-to-school sales. However, these items will only see discounts of 15% to 25%, unlike during Columbus Day sales when consumers can find discounts of 50% off or more, since stores are transitioning to winter apparel and want to rid their shelves of the previous season’s goods. Otherwise, if you’re presented with what seems like an absolute steal, look ahead to upcoming celebrations such as a graduation, birthday party or wedding. Perhaps you can find the perfect gift while taking advantage of the savings, which is a win-win! Ultimately, being aware of these potentially devious strategies will help you become a smarter shopper and manage your budget better.

 

Andrea Woroch is a nationally-recognized consumer-finance expert who is passionate about helping families find simple ways to save more and spend less without sacrificing their lifestyles. She has worked with hundreds of national and regional outlets on consumer stories and has been interviewed by NBC’s Today, Good Morning America, Dr. OZ, CNN, MSNBC, FOX & Friends, ABC World News, Inside Edition, Wall Street Journal, Money Magazine, New York Times, Family Circle, Cosmopolitan and many more. Andrea also writes for various news outlets and her stories have been published on Forbes, AOL Daily Finance, Yahoo!, Huffington Post, LearnVest, New York Daily News “Dollar Stretcher” and ClarkHoward.com. Andrea lives in Bakersfield, CA with her husband and rambunctious, Goldendoodle, and is eagerly awaiting the arrival of their first child this August. You can read more about Andrea and watch recent TV clips at www.AndreaWoroch.com.

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5 Ways to Simplify Your School Routine

This is a Guest Post from Cherie at Queen of Free

I remember it just like it was yesterday. My husband and I were about to participate in a ritual all parents of newborn babies romanticize. Our sweet little firstborn was about to receive her very first official bath. We read all of the books. We consulted all the Babycenter web boards (hey, it was 2002 and there weren’t too many blogs yet). We prepared the space – fresh diaper, clean pajamas, baby bathtub on the kitchen counter filled with water that the thermometer duck declared both safe and warm. And we pulled from the dresser drawer the most beautiful white towel, pristine and smelling of Dreft.

Quickly we undressed our sweet little doll so the water temperature wouldn’t drop into frowny face frigid digits. We placed her in the water. She smiled back at us. Or at least we thought it was a smile. We were incorrect.

In a matter of fifteen horrifying seconds this idyllic first bath moment went from the definition of clean to a slippery newborn who would not, could not stop pooping – everywhere and on everything. The white towel, the bathtub, the happy duck thermometer, my husband’s shirt – nothing was safe. Shocked and overwhelmed, we did our best to wrestle her into a diaper and clean up the mess. Disappointment followed.

Expectations and reality collided full force. The resulting fiasco unsettled us for a couple of days. Who did we think we were? Could we really be expected to parent?

Fast-forward fourteen years and I can find myself feeling those same emotions as my kids go back to school. For weeks I both dread and look forward to launching them into a new year. We shop the list, go to Meet the Teacher nights, pay for books. We get back into the school wake/sleep routine. We squeeze in the last bit of summer fun and also do responsible chores like cleaning up the house so we’re all prepared.

Maybe you’re a bit like idealistic me? This is going to be the best. school. year. ever.

But when reality meets our unrealistic expectations two weeks into the new routine, all of those preparations fall flat. We discover we set unachievable idealistic standards, placing extra pressure on our kids and ourselves. It’s an environment that breeds a May where we’re barely plodding along.

So I place these ideas in front of you as sparks to create an environment with a lot more peace and tranquility (and hopefully a lot less poop everywhere). Here’s how we keep our junk together, remaining organized and focused throughout the entire school year trying not to set unrealistic expectations at the same time.

15 Minutes of Night Before Prep

Each evening, after the kids go to bed, I migrate to the couch. I pop open my laptop or I read a book or I binge a good Netflix episode (or four) with my husband. The very last thing I want to do is spend any more time in the kitchen, or honestly do anything responsible. I just want to veg. But I refuse to sprout roots and force myself through fifteen minutes of prep time in my kitchen. I set the coffee maker so it brews automatically before my alarm even goes off. I put away leftovers if I haven’t already. I may even prep lunch box items. Fifteen minutes of mundane makes the morning so much easier. You don’t have to spend hours. Just choose a few short tasks to eliminate before you go to bed. Even if you have to set the timer on your stove or play some inspirational music, do what it takes. You won’t regret those simple steps and minutes spent the next day.

A Place for Everything

Papers in the backpack. Papers on the floor. Papers in bedrooms, on the kitchen table, the car, and everywhere else you turn around. It’s enough to drive any mom to the brink of insanity and beyond. To make your school experience sing, you’ve got to place some breathing marks in the measure. That means you have need to find designated drop spots for those items your kids bring home every single day. While the paper dragon may be the most difficult to tame, lunch boxes, backpacks, gym uniforms, water bottles and more need homes, too. You don’t have to become a HGTV styled professional organizer. Even stacks of magneted papers on the refrigerator can suffice. Each of my girls has their own pile of necessary notices clipped together with a cute little powerful magnet. Think through the items that most frustrate you when you discover they’ve been discarded haphazardly and then find create a system that works for you.

Touch It Once

I can’t count the number of times I couldn’t remember where I put the permission slip/volunteer form/super important paper. In the past couple of years, I’ve made it a common practice that the first thing my kids do when they arrive home after school is to empty their folders and their lunch boxes. This simple daily practice helps me to immediately tame the mess and prevent the loss of forms. Unneeded papers are discarded, as are lunchbox leftovers (this cuts down on discovering half eaten food in a month’s time). Forms are immediately filled out and placed in their proper home. Try to touch everything only once and put things in their place from the beginning.

Helping Kids Own Their Experience

Here’s the very good news. More than likely you have already graduated. You made it through Kindergarten, kept up the good work through elementary school, survived middle school, and walked the hallowed halls of your high school to receive a diploma on the other end. There is no need to repeat the experience. My kids probably tire of me saying, “I’ve already been in 3rd/4th/6th/8th grade. I made it. It’s your turn now.” Practically speaking, it’s a good idea for your children to begin owning their academic experience. This means while you check their homework for errors and guide thinking when possible, you do not sit down and do every single problem with them. Obviously, you don’t just throw them into the experience as a preschooler. And there may be extreme cases when children with special needs require a little extra help, but most of our kids need to learn how to manage their time and take care of their own experience during those hours before and after school.

For every household this may look a little different. It could mean your kids pack their own lunches or fix their own breakfast. Or it may mean they set out all of their clothes the night before. Perhaps they know and implement the bedtime routine on their own. Any gradual step you can implement to help your child grow and mature into a healthy human being is helpful.

Beginning in sixth grade, if my oldest daughter had questions about her work or needed extra guidance or missed a day and needed to know her assignment, I had her directly e-mail the teacher, cutting me out as the middle mom. As a high school freshman, this act now comes as second nature. In fact, sometimes I don’t even have to tell her she needs to e-mail the teacher. She just handles it. The process hasn’t been without occasional grumbling or requests of “Can you just do it?” But someday when she needs to communicate with a professor or ask her boss a question she’s now equipped to do that on her own. Ask yourself what skills you’d like your kids to have on the other side of school and begin moving them toward those goals.

Self Care Is Important, Too

About ten seconds into becoming a parent you realize, it ain’t about you any more. You have another human being who completely depends on you – for shelter, for sustenance, for a soft spot to land. It’s easy to let those pressing and unavoidable needs crush our ability to take care of ourselves.

I’m not saying you deserve a regular spa outing. I’m not saying you require three hours of “me time” every day. But for this school routine to run smoothly, you do need to take care of yourself. Again this will look different for every family and parent, but in the same way airlines require you to place an oxygen mask over your own mouth before tending to your children, you need to take care of yourself. Invest in you each day. Go for a run, read Scripture, eat a healthy meal, pray, or simply wash your face and brush your teeth. Don’t let the minutia overwhelm you.

When you care for yourself, you care for your family. You’re better prepared to handle the curveballs that come your way – because mark my words they will come your way. You’re less likely to lose your junk, unloading stress on your spouse or kids. You’re more likely to send your people out into the world whole, healthy, and even happy.

It’s essential to put good systems into place so you don’t go off your rocker a mere week or month into the school year. And maybe our expectations will always be a bit too pie in the sky. When you mess up, when you forget a paper, when someone leaves their lunchbox at home for the second time in one week, when there’s a misstep or mistake, when reality comes knocking at your door, cut yourself some slack. Yes, this is life with school-aged children. Yes, it is crazy, busy, and physically demanding. But, it’s still a good life and it will be gone far too quickly for any of our hearts to handle. You got this. Go out there and make it the best. school. year. ever. Or just make it the okayest school year ever. Whatever you do, don’t let it pass you by without paying attention to the opportunities to grow your kids and challenge yourself.

 

Cherie Lowe is an author, speaker and hope bringer. Her book Slaying the Debt Dragon details her family’s quest to eliminate over $127K in debt in just under four years. As her alter ego the Queen of Free, Cherie provides offbeat money saving tips and debt slaying inspiration on a daily basis.

 

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Sweet and Spicy Ribs

It only took me ten years to discover that the fastest way to my husband’s heart is simply to cook more MEAT!  Over the past year, I’ve been working on developing more quick & easy freezer friendly recipes for my family, I’ve never seen him quite so enthusiastic about dinnertime  While it was a little intimidating at first, as a life-long vegetarian, to start cooking meat, I have to admit that I’ve been having a lot of fun coming up with new ideas.   I am also pretty psyched about being able to maintain a whole freezer full of meals that my family absolutely loves!

These super easy sweet and spicy ribs take just minutes to prep before throwing them in the freezer (or directly into the crockpot if not planning to freeze them ahead of time.)  The liquid smoke is optional but it does add a nice dose of smokey flavor & is highly recommended.  You can find it in the grocery store next to the barbecue sauce!

Here is what you need:

6-8 pounds pork ribs
2 cups ketchup
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1/3 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup Sriracha sauce (more or less to taste!)
1 large garlic clove, minced
1 tablespoon red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 teaspoons seasoned salt
1 tablespoon liquid smoke (optional)
 

Step 1:  Rub meat with  season salt and  cayenne pepper.

Step 2: In medium bowl, whisk together ketchup, brown sugar, Worcestershire sauce, vinegar, garlic , red pepper flakes, sriracha sauce and liquid smoke until smooth.

Step 3: Divide meat into two gallon-size Ziploc bags.  (Be sure to label bags before using!)Divide sauce in half and pour over meat; freeze until needed.

Step 4: Thaw in refrigerator for 24 hours; pour contents into slow cooker and cook on low heat for 5-8 hours.   If you don’t have time to thaw them ahead of time, you can throw them in the crockpot frozen, just be sure to cook them a little longer–5-8 hours instead of 4-6. Once cooked, remove from crock pot and toss with your favorite barbecue sauce. Serve with coleslaw and hot sauce for an added kick.

 

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Recipe: Sweet and Spicy Ribs

Summary: These slow-cooker freezer friendly ribs melt in your mouth and are sure to be a new family favorite!

Ingredients

6-8 pounds pork ribs
2 cups ketchup
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1/3 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup Sriracha sauce (more or less to taste!)
1 large garlic clove, minced
1 tablespoon red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 teaspoons seasoned salt
1 tablespoon liquid smoke (optional)



Instructions

Rub meat with season salt and cayenne pepper.
In medium bowl, whisk together ketchup, brown sugar, Worcestershire sauce, vinegar, garlic , red pepper flakes, sriracha sauce and liquid smoke until smooth.
Divide meat into two gallon-size Ziploc bags. (Be sure to label bags before using!) Divide sauce in half and pour over meat; freeze until needed.
Thaw in refrigerator for 24 hours; pour contents into slow cooker and cook on low heat for 4-6 hours.   If you don’t have time to thaw them ahead of time, you can throw them in the crockpot frozen, just be sure to cook them a little longer–5-7 hours instead of 4-6. Once cooked, remove from crock pot and toss with your favorite barbecue sauce. Serve with coleslaw and hot sauce for an added kick.

Preparation time: 5 minutes

Cooking time: 4-6 hours

Number of servings (yield): 12

 

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How to CRUSH Your Goals

Let’s face it—anybody can SET a goal.

But actually following through and ACHIEVING that goal, of actually CRUSHING that goal and making it a reality?

Well, that’s a different story.

The reality is that most people are much, MUCH better at setting goals than they are at actually achieving them.  It’s easy to think about all those things you’d like to do someday, or even to make a list of all all the things you’d like to do this year or this month.

But how do you make sure that those distant dreams and far off goals become reality?

You need a plan.

And that is where Goal Crushing™ comes in.  Goal Crushing uses our simple, easy to follow CRUSH IT formula to bring your goals to life.  It’s not making a list, it is making a plan.  One that you can’t help but follow through on.  One that is designed to help you crush it, every single time.

C-R-U-S-H-I-T—Crush It.  That’s all you have to remember.

C: Claim Your Target

The C stands for CLAIM YOUR TARGET.  This is where you determine what you are aiming for.  Because here’s the thing that I know to be true—if you aim at NOTHING, you will hit it every single time.  You need to have something to shoot for, preferably something BIG to shoot for.  Something that is possibly so big, it scares you a little bit.

When it comest to achieving–and crushing–your goals, daring to think BIG is probably the single most important thing you can do, so try not to limit yourself, or to let those limiting beliefs stand in the way of what COULD be possible.  It takes just as much effort to shoot for a lower target, so why not go big and aim high?  Even if you fall short, you’ll still be better off than if you choose a small goal.

R: Refine Your Objective

Next comes R—REFINE YOUR OBJECTIVE.  When you claim your target, it’s okay to be a little vague.  Remember—you are thinking big.  But then you need to hone in and determine, in no uncertain terms, exactly what you want.  So let’s say your target is to get in the best shape of your life, but what does that really mean?  Well it might mean deciding that you are going to run a 5 k, because you know that you will have to start getting in great shape to actually run that 5 k and not die.

You are refining your objective and making it real.  But you need to make it even MORE real.

U: Understand Your Motivation

And that’s where the U comes in—UNDERSTAND YOUR MOTIVIATION.  It might seem like a small thing, or even an unimportant detail, but the reality is that getting crystal clear about your WHY is probably the single most important part of actually achieving—and crushing—your goals.

And it is the place where people most often go wrong.

You see, understanding the WHY behind what we are aiming for is the thing that will keep us going when the things get tough.  It’s the heart and soul of what we do.  It’s the thing that makes the discomfort, the pain, the frustration of accomplishing something worth all the struggle.

And if we are not clear about WHY we want to make something happen, it will be all too easy to give up or to get distracted.

According to Charles Duhigg, author the book “Smarter, Better, Faster,” the best way to keep ourselves motivated is to take control of our choices, and to see them as affirmations of our values.  We need to be able to connect our small tasks to our larger aspirations.

In other words, we need to remember and understand our WHY every step of the way.  If we forget our why, we might start to look at our goal as an obligation that someone else is putting on us, rather than a choice we are making for ourselves.  And when that happens, we will lose motivation and that thing we are aiming for will never happen.

Of course while understanding our motivation is a critically important piece of crushing our goals, knowing our why is just the beginning.

You see, we still have to GET THERE.

S: Step It Out

And that is where our S comes in—we need to STEP IT OUT.

This is where we get super practical and actually create a concrete plan for how we are going to achieve this goal of ours and actually make it happen.  You see, it is not enough to want this goal in theory—we need to have a clear path for getting there.  What are the steps you are going to take over the next days and week to make this goal a reality?

How much time will you need to make this happen?  Will you set aside 30 minutes each day to work on it, or block out a few days to work on it?  What resources or supplies will you invest in?  How much are you willing to spend to make this dream a reality?  What research do you need to do in order to make this goal happen?  Will you look on the Internet? Read books?  Take a class?  Who will you ask for help?  Do you need accountability?  Assistance?  Training?

Be crystal clear about the steps you are going to have to take in order to get where you want to go.

H: Handle Obstacles

But there is something else you will want to be crystal clear about when you are making your plan, and that is where our H comes in—HANDLE OBSTACLES

You see, no matter how carefully you plan, and no matter how clear you are about what you want to do and the steps you will need to take to get there, it is inevitable that at some point—and probably sooner, rather than later—there will be road blocks that stand in your way.  Obstacles that threaten to derail your progress, distractions that get off track, setbacks that make you feel like throwing in the towel.

And you need to be prepared for how you will handle them!

Don’t blindly assume everything will be okay.  Instead, recognize ahead of time that there will be obstacles along the way and resolve to NOT let those and roadblocks prevent you from getting you to where you want to go.

Because here’s the thing—setbacks are a lot easier to bounce back from and overcome If you’ve already mentally prepared yourself for them.  And while I don’t think it is a good idea to get hung up on every possible what-if scenario, I do think it is important to create a plan for what you’ll do when things stand in your way.

This is another part of goal setting—and goal achieving—that most people forget about, and then, as soon as the going gets rough, they don’t know how to handle it.

So handle your obstacles BEFORE they derail your progress!

 I: Implement Your Plan

From here there is only one thing left to do, and that is I—IMPLEMENT YOUR PLAN.

Because here’s the thing—we only get credit for the plans we IMPLEMENT and follow through on, not the ones we only think about.  And this is where so many people fall short and fail to CRUSH their goals—they never actually IMPLEMENT.  They are always planning, but when it comes to following through and taking action, they get gun shy, or scared, or just lose their motivation.

Don’t let that be you.

If your plan is to spend the first 30 minutes of every day working towards your goal, then actually spend the first 30 minutes of every day DOING THE THINGS that will get you closer to your goal  Keep moving forward.  Take action.

Now is the magic word of success, which means if you want to CRUSH your goal, you need to be someone who does things.  Don’t wait until conditions are perfect, because they never will be, and again, your ideas only have value when you ACT.

T: Treat Yourself

But there is one letter left in our CRUSH IT acronym—and it’s one that often gets forgotten.  And that is T—TREAT YOURSELF.

You see, if you want to be a Goal Crusher, you need to not only be clear about what success looks like—that is, setting a clear and specific objective—but you also need to have a plan for what you’ll do—how you’ll celebrate—when you get there!

I’ll be the first to admit that celebrating my win is sometimes something that I struggle with. As soon as I’ve hit one target, I move right on to the next one, without stopping to relish the victory.

But learning how to treating yourself and actually celebrate your win might just be the most important facet of CRUSHING your goals, because it is the part that will keep you motivated and keep you excited and enthusiastic about continuing to CRUSH your goals for years to come.

When you identify ahead of time how you will celebrate, and then actually follow through on that celebration, your brain makes the connection and says, “I did it!  This awesome!  I want to do this again!”  So even if it seems a little silly, be sure to identify ahead of time how you will treat yourself once you’ve crushed your goal.

There is something a little magical that happens when you start crushing your goals and seeing your dreams come true.  Small wins give us the confidence to stretch and little further, dream a little more, and to start thinking BIG.

But it all starts with having a solid framework in place for actually making those dreams a reality.  That’s exactly what Goal Crushing™ is all about, and it is exclusively found in the all new Living Well Planner™.  Each monthly section contains a Monthly Goals page helps you to break down your long term goals into more manageable, as well as a Crushing It page for identifying–and CRUSHING–your biggest, most important goal each month.  There is also a project planning page to help you organize and implement your projects and tasks.  In other words?  It is the tool you need to get things done.

Plus, when you purchase the Living Well Planner, you get access to our Crushing It Bootcamp™, as well as to our Crushing It Central™ membership site, which will show you how to get the most use out of every single page of your planner, and are designed to help you organize and simplify your life and help you find more balance.  Because let’s face it–between balancing the budget, keeping up with all our daily tasks & responsibilities, and simply getting the food on the table each day, it can sometimes feel like there’s barely time just to breathe, much less go after those big goals.  Luckily the Living Well Planner is designed to help you take back your time and manage all those pieces of a busy life so there is more room for the things that matter most.  It truly is the sanity saver we’ve all been waiting for!

(P.S.  The all-new Living Well Planner begins shipping on August 31st!  Be sure to reserve your copy now to take advantage of our early bird pricing and save $6 off the cover price!)

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How to Cultivate an Abundance Mindset

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always thought those “law of attraction” and “manifest what you want” type of tricks were a little…well, hokey.  Can you really make something happen by simply willing it from the universe? Can you tell the universe to “make it so” and then sit back and wait for the check in the mail?  Can you really “name it and claim it?”

I don’t think so.

I’m not a person who’s going to wake up every morning making demands of the world and expecting everything I want to happen like magic. I’ve had enough challenges in my life to help me understand that desperation and demands don’t result in instant gratification.

That said I DO believe with all my heart that positive thinking, goal-setting and focusing on gratitude–in other words, cultivating an abundance mindset–can yield fast and tangible results.  We in a world where our dreams are within our reach if we can just stay focused, positive, and on track to reach them. In fact, most of the time, it is doubt, indifference and complacency, not scarcity, that holds us back.  The truth is that the world is big and there is room for all kinds of success, and that another person’s success and happiness does not mean there will be less for me.

To live an abundant life, we must be feeding ourselves both spiritually and emotionally. We must be practicing self-care, as well as caring for those around us. We must believe we deserve to have the things we want and that it is within our power to get there.  We must understand that there is room for everyone at the table.  We must live with wonder and gratitude every day.

Abundance isn’t about excess. It’s not about having way more than you need. It’s not about stuff. Stuff doesn’t make us happy. Stuff doesn’t fulfill us or bring us closer to our families or to God. Stuff simply takes up the empty spaces in our hearts and minds and leaves us without room for the things that truly matter.  On the contrary, abundance is about feeling deep satisfaction in our hearts, minds and souls.

So how do we do it? How do we learn to cultivate a mindset of abundance?  Here are a few strategies that can help.

1. Stay Organized

One of biggest ways I maintain a mindset of abundance is by staying organized. When my life feels chaotic I don’t appreciate what I have. I end up running out to the store to buy something because I can’t find the something I already own. I feel overwhelmed and out of sorts. Just like airlines tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before you help those around you—I have to be organized and on top of my own household before I can start to help anyone else.

Taking control of your schedule and home can help you take control of your life. It’s easier to serve and give to others when you’re prepared to do so. Perhaps you’ve refrained from welcoming someone into your home because you felt it was messy, or perhaps you felt bad because you didn’t have a freezer meal to share or a gift on hand when a special occasion arose. Organization is the key to cultivating a sense of calmness and feeling confident about having a method for attacking your goals.

One amazing side effect of being organized? You might find you have much more than you thought you did! Suddenly, you find gift cards you forgot about. You might find toys and games your kids didn’t remember you own. You’ll recall a favorite outfit you haven’t worn in months. When you organize your home, it can be like uncovering buried treasure.

2. Focus on the Positive

As I said before, if you can read this article, chances are you’re better off than much of the world. We have access to electricity, water, food, shelter, and clothing. Sometimes life is very challenging, painful, frustrating and hard. It can be very easy to forget that on a fundamental level, our basic needs are usually being met.

Of course, no one’s perfectly positive all the time! (…thankfully!) It’s hard to think, “Oh, I’m so glad I have access to all this fresh clean water” as it’s gushing out of a pipe into your basement. Being positive isn’t easy, but almost like magic, it eases stress.

The next time a negative situation comes up, try to think of one positive thing you’re gaining from the experience. If you’re on your way to the ER, think of how blessed we are to have access to medical support. How lucky are we to have health insurance and to live in a country where emergency response is quick and available? Think of how much worse the situation could be.

A friend of mine was telling me about how her car wouldn’t start one winter morning. She couldn’t get ahold of her husband, so eventually she had to call in to work. She said, “God must have wanted me home for a reason, and who knows what I could have run into on the freeway.” It turned out there was a massive pileup that morning on her exit. Sometimes we have to realize that everything happens for a reason—even frustrating and inconvenient things.

3. Practice Gratitude

Each day, think of the things you’re grateful for and take time to practice appreciation to God and to those around you. It’s amazing how practicing gratitude can reframe your outlook and change your mindset about everything!

When my kids are upset about something or feeling particularly cranky, we often take a few moments and think of some of the things we’re happy about and grateful for. Acknowledging and “counting your blessings” can help you realize how much you have. It also goes a long way in cultivating more generosity.

Think about it: when you do something nice for someone else, you probably feel a warm glow just from the act…but when the person says thank you, you get another boost. Not only does it give you a lift, but chances are you’re probably more apt to help them again and again. Expressing thanks is not only good manners, it also keeps good things flowing your way.

Try to start by listing three things each day you’re really grateful for. (Try five if you’re feeling up for the challenge.) Save your list in a spot you can look at whenever you’re feeling not-so-thankful—it’ll help you get right back on track.

4. Give Generously

Giving to others doesn’t necessarily mean tangible, big, lavish gifts. In fact, the most meaningful gifts are often homemade or done in-kind. When we give of ourselves and perform acts of kindness and generosity, it resonates deeply with those around us.

If you have abundance, it means you have more than enough to share. This can be more than enough time, kindness, energy, and positivity (not just traditional gifts). To cultivate your abundance mindset, give, give, give. Give like you have plenty. Maybe you can’t write a $100,000 check to your favorite charity (who could?), but you can volunteer a few hours of your time.

When you see someone in need of a meal, a listening ear or a smile, give it to him or her willingly. Some of the most meaningful gifts I’ve received have been little things letting me know someone was thinking of me—a phone call out of the blue, a kind note, an extra cup of coffee, or a bouquet of flowers from a friend’s garden. These things brighten our day just as much as a big expensive gift, and in fact, can often be more meaningful.

5. Avoid Timewasters

People who live abundant lives make good use of their time. They understand time is one of our most precious and limited commodities—and it’s also finite. Of all the things you can bring into your life (money, friends, stuff), you can’t stretch time. It is what it is.

Rather than filling your time jar with things that make you “zone out” or don’t matter, instead, try filling it up with the things you find nurturing, fulfilling and beneficial. If this means you have a TV show you love or you really enjoy playing a game as a family, by all means, don’t skip out on it. But if you find yourself vegging out in front of the television every night in exhausted procrastination mode, maybe it’s time to work on a new hobby.

Use your time to do things that make you happy and enrich you mentally, spiritually or physically. Take time for yourself to work on your goals, to organize your schedule, and to achieve the things you hope to accomplish. Do the hard things first and knock them out of the way, then see how many small things you can do.

here is a time to work hard and a time to relax and do enjoyable things. When you have time to relax, fully engage in the activity. Turn off your phone, shut down your computer, burn your favorite candle, brew up a cup of tea, and get lost in your favorite book. Make the most of every minute.

6. Write It Down

Don’t lose sight of the forest for the trees. Sometimes when we’re in the midst of goal setting, organizing, achieving and working, we get lost in the hustle. Constantly bustling around all the time makes it hard to celebrate the victories and see just how far we’ve come and what we’ve received and achieved.

Write down the things you’re grateful for. Write down your goals. Write down the things you want and the criteria you have for “abundance.” What does your best, most fulfilling life look like to you? Write down your fitness goals. Write down your financial goals. If you’re a visual person, you can create a vision board with pictures of what you want or even set up a Pinterest board you can view for inspiration.

Some of us are visual learners, so the act of writing something down or looking at it in a picture can help us solidify it in our minds. It’s literally “keeping your eye on the prize.” Putting a visual example and reminder on paper makes things seem more real, closer and clearer.

Not only does writing things down help you achieve your goals, but when you revisit your lists in a few weeks, months or years, you’ll be amazed at all the things you can cross off and celebrate. It helps you see your progress as you move forward toward living the good life.

7. Believe You Deserve Good Things

Okay, full discloser: this one is hard for me. Sometimes I feel guilty or embarrassed about my own success.  I don’t want to talk about it, and I certainly don’t want to be accused of thinking I deserve it.  The truth is that much of my success can be attributed to the help I’ve gotten from others along the way.  For that I am incredibly grateful.  But that doesn’t mean I haven’t also worked hard along the way.

I think as women, we’re often taught not to want big things and that we should simply be happy with the status quo, that we should temper our success and not get too crazy. But  I am here to tell you that it’s okay to dream big.  In fact, dreaming big is the only way that big things will happen for you!

8. Opt for Quality over Quantity

Maybe you don’t have every pair of shoes or every outfit you want. Maybe you can’t afford a brand new dining table from Restoration Hardware or the latest cute kitchen accessories from Anthropologie. Abundance isn’t always about having the MOST and the biggest collection of “stuff.”

Instead, it’s about having quality items that fulfill your needs and the needs of your household. It’s about having what you need and opting for the things that last and are worth their price. Care for the things you have and be grateful for them. Treat them with respect and value.

When you have a coat you love or a dress you feel really flatters your figure, you treat it with respect and care. You also feel fulfilled by the item—more than the other 10 dresses in your closet that aren’t as flattering or fitted. Try to keep the items that bring you the most joy. Pare down to the necessities and the best of the best. It will feel far more abundant to have a few valued items than tons of things you don’t care about.

9. Let Go of FOMO

You know what makes us feel scarcity? Comparing ourselves to those around us. When we look at a friend’s amazing vacation pictures, beautiful house, or fabulous wardrobe, it’s easy to feel like we’re missing out—like we’re somehow losing. Like we don’t have as much as everyone else.

STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS! It’s hard to do, but taking a step back and letting go of the social media comparison frenzy can work wonders for your mentality. We all post our best, most flattering, most amazing lives on social media. No one posts pictures of their messy house, their cat-hair covered pajama pants, or their tear-streaked daughter’s face as they’re untangling gum from her ponytail. Social media isn’t reality, and in fact, it creates a distance between the joyful moments in our lives and our ability to experience them fully.

Not to say it’s terrible to take pictures, so don’t run off and delete your Facebook and Instagram. It’s just healthy to let go of the comparisons and competition. If you find you’re constantly checking up on your social media life or you can’t put down your phone, it might be time to take a break. If it’s making you sad and upset every time you scroll through your newsfeed, turn it off and walk away.

10. Learn from Everything

People who live abundantly extract something from each and every experience. They learn from each and every moment. The learning is part of the journey and part of the reward.

When we look at our kids, we see that their every moment holds wonder and emotion, because every moment is about experiencing something new. They’re constantly discovering and uncovering new things. It’s exciting and fun. It’s joyful and interesting. It’s living abundantly.

We must learn to approach life with the same zest and exploration. Even if things are challenging and painful, we can extract lessons from every single day and apply those experiences later on down the road.

When I first started learning to budget and save money, I did it pretty much out of sheer desperation. I was stressed out and constantly worried. It was a big trial in my life. When I look back to that time, though, I do it with a little fondness. Learning to coupon, create an actual budget, make a rock-bottom price list, and save money? Well, I have to admit, it was a little bit fun. Really.

As I was going through each new experience, I was learning. I was learning how to be organized. I was learning how to budget and how to spend money wisely. I was learning how to get things under control. I shared my learning experiences with my readers and I learned from all of you when you shared your own experiences with me. In that time of great scarcity in my life, abundance grew because I was learning how to create and grow.

In our everyday lives, there are so many ways to practice growing a spirit of abundance. Yes, sometimes it can be hard to believe in ourselves and appreciate everything we have, especially when life gets difficult. Staying positive and trusting in a higher purpose isn’t easy sometimes, but when we make a point of expressing gratitude and love every day, the clouds begin to part and we begin to feel ourselves filling up with a generous spirit and a mindset of abundance. In each experience, there’s a lesson to extract, so each day we have new opportunities to grow as people and live our lives to the fullest.

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Make-Ahead Breakfast Burritos

I don’t know how things are in your home, but in our family weekday mornings can be just a little bit hectic.  And while there are many things that contribute to the chaos, at the top of our stressor list is the  task of making a nutritious breakfast.

Luckily these quick and easy breakfast burritos fit the bill of being easy, nutritious and so tasty!  Better yet, they can be made in bulk and frozen ahead for FAST breakfasts on the go!

Here is what you need:

18 eggs
2 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup heavy cream

1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 package Morning Star sausage, cut into bite size pieces (optional)

1 16oz container cheddar cheese, shredded
1 container chunky salsa (optional)
10-12  flour tortilla shells
 
 

Step 1: In large bowl mix together eggs, heavy cream, and salt & pepper to taste.

Step 2: Melt butter in pan over medium-low to low heat. Pour in egg mixture.  Let set for a minute or two.

Step 3: After eggs have set; stir ONE time.  Just once.  This is very important!  Over-stirring scrambled eggs is the mistake most people make.  The LESS you stir them, the fluffier and better they will turn out.

Step 4: After another minute, stir ONE time, then add one cup shredded cheese.  Wait another minute then stir once more.  Lower heat if necessary. Wait another minute then flip eggs upside down to make sure they are evenly cooked.  Cook for about one minute longer and they are done!  Remove from heat and let cool.

Step 5: Cut sausage in bit size pieces and set aside.

Step 6: Line tortilla shell with 1/2 cup egg and sausage then top with some more shredded cheese. Roll up each tortilla to make burritos, folding in the ends and rolling up. Once cool, wrap each burrito individually with parchment paper or saran wrap.  Divide burritos into two gallon size freezer bags (be sure to label bags first!)  Freeze until needed.

Step 7: When you’re ready to eat, unwrap the burritos, wrap loosely in paper towel and heat in the microwave on high power for 2-3 minutes until hot and cheese is melted. Serve with salsa and fresh fruit.

 

    Print This!    




Recipe: Breakfast Burritos

Summary: These make ahead breakfast burritos are the perfect answer to a simple and tasty start of the day!

Ingredients

18 eggs
2 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 16oz container cheddar cheese, shredded
1 package Morning Star sausage, cut into bite size pieces (optional)
1 container chunky salsa (optional)
10-12 flour tortilla shells



Instructions

In large bowl mix together eggs, heavy cream, and salt & pepper to taste.
Melt butter in pan over medium-low to low heat. Pour in egg mixture. Let set for a minute or two.
After eggs have set; stir ONE time. Just once. This is very important! Over-stirring scrambled eggs is the mistake most people make. The LESS you stir them, the fluffier and better they will turn out.
After another minute, stir ONE time, then add one cup shredded cheese.  Wait another minute then stir once more.  Lower heat if necessary. Wait another minute then flip eggs upside down to make sure they are evenly cooked.  Cook for about one minute longer and they are done!  Remove from heat and let cool.
Cut sausage in bit size pieces and set aside.
Line tortilla shell with 1/2 cup egg and sausage then top with some more shredded cheese. Roll up each tortilla to make burritos, folding in the ends and rolling up. Once cool, wrap each burrito individually with parchment paper or saran wrap.  Divide burritos into two gallon size freezer bags (be sure to label bags first!)  Freeze until needed.
When you’re ready to eat, unwrap the burritos, wrap loosely in paper towel and heat in the microwave on high power for 2-3 minutes until hot and cheese is melted. Serve with salsa and fresh fruit.

Preparation time: 3-5 minutes

Cooking time: 35 minutes  For re-heating: 2-3minutes in microwave

Number of servings (yield): 10-12

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8 Boundaries Every Online Relationship Needs

Just a couple of weeks ago I celebrated my twenty-year high school reunion.  I guess that officially dates me (there is no denying it anymore–I’m old!), but it was pretty funny to look back on how much has changed since I graduated in 1996.  Back then we used maps to get places and pay phones to call people.  And computers were mostly just good for playing solitaire.  Seriously, twenty years ago, who could’ve imagined the incredible amount of time we now spend (and yes, waste) online?

Here in the U.S., we spend an average of 4.7 hours per day on our phones and we check social media 17 times a day on average. Teenagers reportedly spend a whopping 9 hours (NINE HOURS!!!) per day on social media–more than ONE THIRD of their day!  Needless to say, these stats are pretty shocking!

It’s not that the Internet is a terrible thing.  On the contrary; it’s a wonderful and amazing resource, one that has personally allowed me the freedom to work from anywhere. It’s a great communication tool, allowing us to learn so many things and share so much with those around us. We can stay in touch with loved ones from across the country and almost instantly know what our friends and family members are up to, how they’re doing, and what their opinions and feelings are about all sorts of things (for better or for worse).  We can also get any information we need at the push of a button–directions, research, news….you name it, it’s there.

Plus, let’s face it—it’s fun!

Modern life has definitely changed a lot in the last twenty years, which means that we need to adjust right a long with it.  In fact, there’s a whole new set of rules, etiquette and proper boundaries we need to figure out in order to keep ourselves mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually healthy. While the Internet is both a blessing and a tool, we must use it wisely or it could very well consume our live and bring us nothing but sadness, anger and misery.

After all, how many times have you felt overwhelmed by social media or your inbox? Have you caught yourself frantically documenting moments rather than enjoying them? Have you ever made your child repeat a cute moment, hold a pose, or wait while you kept snapping for the perfect picture? Do you wait to eat or run to a window because you “need” to photograph your plate in the right light?

Alternatively, does your blood start to boil when you read someone’s political rant on Facebook? Have you engaged in arguments in your newsfeed, only to be left seething for hours because of a comment someone made? Do you ever type replies then delete them, yet feel frustrated and upset afterwards?

“IRL” (in real life) we have to remember to set appropriate boundaries. We wouldn’t call our friends to tell them what we had for dinner (unless it was REALLY amazing), nor would we take hundreds of photos if we were using film. We wouldn’t rush to the store the moment a photo was taken to have it developed and then mail it to our entire family, either—so it makes sense that we shouldn’t have to pause activities just so we can over-document them and send them out right away.

In day-to-day face-to-face life, we typically avoid friendships with people who are demeaning, argumentative, or just plain rude. People used to follow the adage that we shouldn’t talk about religion or politics at the dinner table. Somehow though, when it comes to social media, everyone is eager to express their opinion—and manners fly out the window when people are allowed to post anonymously. Some of us can get downright nasty with each other when we’re not standing in front of each other, and unfortunately, these all caps screaming matches very rarely serve to change an opinion and usually just damage the relationship.

The following online “rules” have saved me on more than one occasion, so I hope they’ll help you feel more sane about your online interactions and relationships, too!

1. You Don’t Have to Interact with Every Email

One of the easiest ways to reduce your online time is to simply realize you don’t have to respond to everything that hits your inbox. Above all, first work to unsubscribe from unnecessary mailing lists and advertisers to keep your inbox down to just your favorites and the important “need to reply” items. Make it a personal policy: if you don’t read an email newsletter or advertisement, or if you trash it without opening it more than a few times, you should remove yourself from the list. You’ll feel much more under control. Everyone gets overwhelmed when they see they have 50 new emails.

For personal emails, if it’s a forward of cat pictures or “helpful advice” from your aunt, just skip it. Mention to your aunt that while you love staying in touch, you’re trying to limit the amount of time you spend on emails, so you’d love an occasional personal message from her rather than the constant forwards.

As for other personal emails, text messages and “chat” conversations, try to respond in three sentences or less and limit the back-and-forth to three interactions. If it takes more time or requires a lengthier response, chances are a phone call is in order. A quick call can take much less time and make it easier to clarify your message, so you’ll get to the heart of the matter much more quickly.

Let go of the need to get in the final word on every email (and text for that matter). Sometimes it’s okay not to reply “thank you” or even worse, “you’re welcome.” While it’s nice to acknowledge emails so the sender knows they’re received, sometimes the back-and-forth keeps their inbox cluttered as well.

2. You Don’t Have to “Like” Everything

It’s easy to become a compulsive serial “liker” on Facebook and Instagram. In fact, likes become akin to views. We can end up spending vast amounts of time liking friends’ pictures, commenting “yum” on their photos, and interacting a whole bunch without actually interacting at all.

On Facebook, you can like comments and replies to comments. (Eek!) Liking becomes the normal response when you have nothing more to say and you don’t want the commenter to feel like you’ve ignored their comment or reply. This becomes an endless chain of comments and validation with no end in sight.

While some of us may have livelihoods supported by social media, it’s okay if you don’t spend hours “liking” everything. In fact, posting regularly, making fewer but more substantial comments, and sharing posts you like can go just as far in keeping you present and engaged in social media conversations.

It’s okay if you miss some posts. Not every post on Facebook is directed to you personally and there are plenty of people liking and commenting (like those teenagers who are spending 9 hours a day on social media). Give yourself a break and step away from the newsfeed.

3. You Don’t Have to Respond to Everything

What about the dreaded birthday-message reply question? If someone took the time to write a birthday message on your wall or to comment, “looks fun” on your family vacation photo, shouldn’t you respond?

Yes, most etiquette guidelines would say we should reach out and thank someone who makes an effort for us. That said, have you ever felt heartbroken when someone didn’t respond to your comment? Chances are, you haven’t even noticed.

If you could funnel the response time toward hand writing cards instead of surfing social media, think of how many more friends you would touch. A handwritten card is much more meaningful and heartfelt. It takes time and it’s exciting when you get it in the mail.

When it comes to responses and replies, opt for the quality over quantity approach. Go the extra mile to reach out and send personal messages, actual greeting cards and real mail to those who mean the most to you and let go of all the rest. You’ll find a deeper satisfaction from your interactions and so will the people who receive your warm and personal note.

4. Share Only What Makes You Feel Good

With the introduction of FOMO (fear of missing out), people report they experience real depression and feelings of inadequacy because they’re constantly comparing themselves to the lives and happiness they see online. Often what we see on social media is the literal highlight reel of our friends’ lives. We see the vacation photos, the gourmet meals, and the beautiful flowers in their yard. We feel like our lives are somehow less, like we’re failing and woefully inadequate compared to our peers.

Here’s the deal, though—if you feel like sharing your vacation photos or a beautiful cake you made, go for it! On the same note, if you feel like sharing a struggle you’re having or asking for emotional support, then it’s perfectly okay to do that, too.

What you shouldn’t feel obligated to do is share because there’s some rule that you should post to social media regularly. You don’t have to change your relationship status to reflect an estrangement from your spouse. You don’t have to post pictures of your cold medicine because you didn’t go to church this week and you don’t want people to speculate where you were…it’s okay!

Give yourself permission to use your social media the way YOU want to use it. If you feel like only reposting cute puppy videos, go for it. Don’t compare yourself to others. It isn’t a contest to see who can get the most likes or post the dreamiest summer barbecue photo. Your social media should be solely about what you want to share with your friends and family—not an obligation.

5. Don’t Forget Privacy is Important

The reality of an Internet privacy breach is one of the worst lessons to learn the hard way. Never forget that everything you post can be found. Every. Single. Thing. We’ve all seen and heard horror stories about someone’s boss finding their college party photos or of a vengeful ex sharing private photos with the world…or even worse.

Protect yourself by limiting your audience and keeping your posts private. If you run a blog or have a professional social media presence, you may want to keep a separate personal account or maintain tight privacy settings on your personal photos and posts. When you put things out there, no matter how innocent or unintended, they can definitely be found and used again and again.

Similarly, don’t allow photos of yourself to be posted without your permission. If someone does post something, quickly ask them to remove it. Protect yourself and never put personal information such as geographic location and contact info on your account. Be smart and remember to check your privacy settings with each social media software update, as privacy settings sometimes change with new features and layouts.

6. Turn Off Your Push Notifications

If you really want to free yourself from the chains of social media, consider turning off the push notifications on your phone. These popups show up on your phone to let you know when someone has liked, shared or commented on your photos, posts or tweets. You might also get notifications if someone sends you an email.

Turning off these notifications won’t mean you won’t receive the comments. When you log into the application, you’ll still see them, but you won’t be tempted to look at each comment, every time something shows up on your screen. You can add another hurdle by always fully logging out of each application after use.

If you’re still having a tough time staying off social media, try a productivity-boosting app like Forest, Self Control, Anti-Social or Freedom to help you keep yourself on task. These apps can block your access to social media and other sites for a set period of time to keep you free from the distractions of constant phone checking.

7. Limit Your Social Media Time

If blocking social media from your phone or using an app seems a bit too extreme for you, try setting aside a set amount of time each day when you can check social media, pin, tweet and post. You can even set aside an amount of time when you plan to respond to emails in general. Block the time out on your calendar and schedule it, just as you would schedule any activity—then stick to it.

Electronic devices can emit blue light, which interferes with sleep and relaxation. Part of getting a good night’s sleep includes limiting your e-time before bed and putting aside all your devices for at least an hour or two before you hit the hay. You’ll sleep more soundly and deeper without the interference.

Similarly, other health problems, such as eyestrain, neck and back pain, and even neck wrinkles can come about because we’re constantly looking down at our phones and tablets. When you’re on the computer, use proper posture and seating. Remember what your typing teacher told you in high school: sit up straight, keep your feet on the floor. If you’re really struggling, consider a standing or walking desk, which can help you avoid hunching over a small screen.

8. Know When to Unfollow, Defriend or Block

Decluttering and unstuffing your life isn’t always easy. In fact, sometimes it’s a little painful. Social media has become a bit of a rat race to make contacts and collect friends. Again, those who are in business-based online relationships might need to maintain certain circles and personas for their career.

When it comes to your personal social media, however, know when it’s time to say when. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. If you have a cousin whose politics drive you crazy or a friend from high school whose posts enrage you, simply unfollow them. When it comes to Facebook, the feature is very easy and they won’t even know you did it. You’re still listed in their friends list, but you no longer have to see their rants in your newsfeed. Keep in mind though, they can still see (and comment) on your posts, unless you create different audiences for different posts.

At some point, as you’re creating different audiences and trying to tailor each post to a set of friends, you have to ask yourself, is it really worth it to continue to be “friends” with someone who I don’t want to see my posts and who I’ve blocked from my newsfeed? It can be hard, but if the person isn’t your friend in real life or if you feel your social media relationship is damaging your in-person interactions (are your political arguments with your cousin making your family holiday parties uncomfortable?), then it’s probably time to “unfriend.”

When you unfriend someone on Facebook or stop following them on Instagram, they don’t receive a notice of your action. It might take them some time to discover it and they might not even notice, but your life will be decluttered and free from their negativity. It’s also totally okay to limit your Facebook friends to your very close friends and to use another program like LinkedIn to maintain your professional relationships. You can use Instagram, Tumblr or other programs for broader, less personal things you’d like to share.

Lastly, if you’re being harassed online or if someone is personally attacking you or making you uncomfortable, you can block their username. This will mean they can’t search for you, they can’t see your private “friends only” posts, and they can’t contact you online. If you have private accounts, blocking a harasser can keep you from having to endure their mean, toxic attacks.

Social media can be a wonderful tool and a powerful way to connect with the world, but it can also be abused and over-used. Keep yourself in check and in moderation. Be sure your online time is enhancing your life rather than simply taking up space and time!

Share Your Thoughts: What online boundaries have you set for yourself or your children?

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Change is Hard: How to Help Your Kids Handle Transitions

 

Life is full of change. Big changes and little changes; positive, and yes, sometimes negative changes. A move, a divorce, the death of a family member or even a beloved pet—these things can deeply and profoundly affect our kids. Even smaller changes, such as starting a new school year or learning new concepts can cause them to feel stressed.

Think about it: our kids are learning and growing all the time, experiencing massive amounts of change and transition, every single day. Nearly every experience is something new and unfamiliar.

In just one day, your daughter might learn how to read a new word, learn a new mathematics concept, play with new friends at recess, have a new classroom arrangement, start a different afterschool club or activity, and then come home to try a new food at dinner. Their lives are a constant state of discovery and change.

Some kids have an easier time coping with uncertainty and new experiences than others. While both my girls are pretty easygoing most of the time, my oldest daughter definitely gets more stressed and worried when she doesn’t know what to expect. My youngest daughter, on the other hand, tends to be happy-go-lucky wherever we go.  As long as her sister is nearby, she’s good.

But let’s face it–even as adults, most of us don’t love change. Yes, we might enjoy vacation or trying something new, but for the most part, we are creatures of habit. Starting a new job or say, buying a new car, can give us anxiety and uncertainty. Even positive change can be stressful. If we get stressed when changes come about, imagine how our kids must feel!

Oftentimes, kids have very little control over their daily schedule and what’s coming up next. They don’t have a Google Calendar to check or an app that gives them a little heads up when the next activity is coming around. In fact, young children can’t even tell time. Imagine the uncertainty they might feel in new situations! So, our kids are simply at our mercy as parents to convey the next bit of information to them before it occurs.

So, how can we help our kids cope with life’s challenges and changes (including the “small stuff” like bedtime and the end of recess) in a healthy manner?

1. Allow for Feelings

It can be really hard to see our kids get upset. As parents, we want our children to be happy all the time. And let’s face it, every parent could do without temper tantrums and meltdowns. When your kid is cranky and fussy, it can be frustrating, annoying and downright miserable for the whole family.

Instead of swooping in to rescue your child from their feelings, acknowledge their emotions and let them know it’s okay to cry it out a little. Saying, “I know you’re disappointed that we have to leave the park right now and it’s okay to be sad when good times end,” lets your kids know what they’re feeling is normal, validated and okay.

2. Listen

When your child is mad or upset, listen to them! Let them talk it out, even if it’s ridiculous playground drama or frustration about cleaning their room. Make eye contact. Stop what you’re doing, put down your phone, and really listen to their feelings. Talk about the highs and lows of what they’re going through. Help them write out their feelings or draw a picture of what is going on. Also provide them role playing activities to provide them with the necessary and correct words to help them describe how they are feeling.

Oftentimes things escalate because kids don’t feel heard or acknowledged. So then they’ll make a bigger-than-necessary fuss because they want you to notice they’re not happy with the situation. While we shouldn’t focus or dwell on their hurt feelings, we can simply try to acknowledge and listen.

3. Keep a Routine

If you’re facing a big transition—a move, a change of schools, a loss—keep the rest of your kids’ lives as consistent, predictable and routine as possible. When kids are coping with grownup problems like divorce or a new house, it’s easy to introduce too many other things into their lives as well, and just like anyone, they become overwhelmed and stressed.

Routine breeds consistency and safety, so keep bedtimes the same and meals normal. If they’re in dance class, Scouts or Little League, try to find similar activities in your new town. (Although, you may want to avoid packing their schedule with a stream of “new” experiences at first.) Try to give your kids time to play with their usual toys, set up their new room, read their favorite books, and do the things that bring them consistency and comfort.

4. Ensure Proper Sleep and Nutrition

Similarly, when kids are going through transitions, it’s critical they get enough sleep to keep them rested and avoid the “crankies.” As we all know, naps can work wonders for children’s moods and coping skills, and just like adults, plenty of sleep helps them feel more in control and able to deal with new experiences.

Be sure your kids get plenty to eat and keep it nutritious and sustaining by including protein, veggies and whole grains. If you’re in the middle of a move or a big day, plan ahead so you aren’t trying to tame hangry kids with candy bars and cookies. Full tummies keep kids happier and calm.

5. Build Trust

Our kids trust us and with their trust comes responsibility. This means when we say it’s time to go or we have set a time for an activity, they trust us to stick to it. When you go back on things or let it slide, it not only teaches our kids “a tantrum will get me what I want” but it also teaches them “Mom doesn’t really mean what she says.”

Kids should be able to trust you really mean it when you say they have ten more minutes to play or that if we go home now they can help pick out what veggie they want for dinner. As parents, we have to keep our kids trust and stay true to our word, even if it’s not what they want to hear.

6. Offer Autonomy and Choices

As I said before, kids are really at our mercy when it comes to scheduling and the structure of their day. One of the best ways to help kids cope with this lack of control and autonomy is to give them the ability and ownership to make smaller decisions.

If you’re moving to a new home, let your child help pick out the new color for their bedroom. If they have to leave the party, let them choose if you’re going to make macaroni and cheese or pizza for dinner. If it’s bedtime, let them choose which bedtime stories they want to read. The little options allow kids to feel they have control over some element of the decision in their lives and with that control comes peace.

7. Ask for Help

Kids will definitely rise to the occasion!  In fact, I’m always a little amazed at how quickly and enthusiastically my kids get behind a concept when they have a chance to help with the situation.

Ask your kids to help you pack for a move, prepare for a new experience, or get ready for a vacation. Have them help you wrap the gift for the party or help you pick up when it’s time to go. Give them a challenge—set a time and ask them to see how quickly they can get ready to go in the morning or how fast they can set the table for dinner. Making kids feel necessary to the process and important goes a long way in boosting their confidence and outlook—and therefore, their ability to gracefully accept change.

8. Sing Songs, Be Silly and Stay Positive

Most moms are used to acting somewhere between goofy to downright dorky on occasion. Don’t be afraid to be silly when times are tough. After all, a mom sets the tone—and you may be surprised to feel your own spirits brighten when you add a little more fun to the mix.

Often kids read our moods like a book. We are their examples. I know if I’m crabby and frustrated my kids will pick up on it right away. I know it’s not possible to be a ray of sunshine all the time (who can?), but trying to look at things positively and excitedly will shift your mood as well as your kids.

So when it’s time to go, sing a “clean up” song. Make a rhyme or joke out of putting on your shoes, getting your coat, and getting to the car. Have a game lined up that makes the dreaded activity a little more exciting and fun.

Having fun works for all the little struggles as well. No one likes to clean up after a playdate, but what if you clean up to a little music? Or, try doing everything backwards or with one hand. Whatever silly things you can come up with or random songs you can sing about the activity will make it much better for everyone.

9. Let Them Know When You’re Close

It’s extremely important to help kids prepare for an upcoming transition. This means becoming the “ten more minutes” mom. Remind them you’ll be heading out in ten minutes, then five, then three. It may feel odd to you, but to someone who doesn’t feel secure with time, it gives them an opportunity to mentally prepare for the next activity.

We do this at bedtime and it gets great results. Letting the girls know there’s a few more minutes actually makes them feel like they have time to fit in a round of a game or a little more play. Then consistently following up with the said amount of time gives them something they can rely and depend on. Just like you have a reminder on your calendar, kids need those little reminders throughout the day.

10. Welcome Your Kids to New Situations

When there’s an upcoming event causing anxiety (even the little stuff like bedtime, bath time, dinner, or a new school day), help your kids feel as welcome and invited into the situation as possible.

Adding some enthusiasm and acting as though coming downstairs to dinner is a treat can change their whole mentality. Would you rather hear, “Get in here! Dinner’s ready!” or, “Come sit in this comfy chair and enjoy this yummy dinner! Look how delicious this lasagna looks and smells. You’re going to love it!” Kids will be much more excited about any given situation when you invite them to join you to take part in this next “exciting” activity.

11. Don’t Make Your Anxiety Theirs

Life’s changes cause all of us stress and anxiety, especially when it’s a big change like divorce, a death, a move or another hard situation. While kids need to know we’re human and that we have emotions (and that it’s okay to express sadness, frustration and hurt), we have to be careful not to project all of our emotions and anxiety on to our kids in a new situation.

Be calm, grateful and reflective about a big change. Approach it with optimism and as though it’s a new adventure or experience. Even loss can become an opportunity to reflect and move into a new spot in your life emotionally. You might be extremely sad or worried, but help ease the transition for everyone involved by focusing on the positive and the many things you have to be grateful for. Reflect on happy memories and anticipate memories to come in the future.

Remember, our kids often reflect our attitudes our ability to cope with transition. To make transition and change easier, be open to and aware of everyone’s feelings, and be sure your kids are heard when they’re upset. Stick to routines and healthy habits, and set an example for your kids by being as positive and consistent as possible throughout times of tough change.

Yes, it can be hard. When our family has experienced life altering changes and I’ve felt negative and run-down, I’ve prayed for the strength to accept change and move forward with each new challenge, and the grace to teach my daughters to do the same.

Share Your Tips: How do you help your kids deal with change?

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Freezer to Crockpot Buffalo Chicken Wings

Our theory here at LWSL is that you can never have too many quick & easy freezer meals ready to go, especially ones that use budget-friendly chicken!  Of course the same old chicken can get boring fast.  These tender, juicy, flavor-packed Buffalo Chicken Wings were a huge hit in our house and I loved that it was another quick & easy freezer meal to add to my rotation!  They are also perfect for game day!07

To make it as part of a freezer cooking day, just split the sauce & chicken into multiple bags, then throw it right into the freezer–no pre-cooking required! Making it ahead of time is not necessary, though, as it is equally delicious just marinated in the fridge for about 30 minutes.

Here is what you need:

4 pounds chicken wings
2 cups wing sauce
2-4 tablespoons butter (cooking day only)
salt and pepper
1 bunch green onions (optional, cooking day only)
1 stalk celery (optional, cooking day only)
1 container chunky blue cheese dressing (optional, cooking day only)
 

Step 1: Season wings with salt and pepper.

Step 2: Then divide wings into freezer bags,(be sure to label bags first) Then pour one cup of wing sauce into each bag and make sure sauce covers all wings. Freeze until needed.

Step 3: Thaw in refrigerator for 24 hours; pour contents into slow cooker and add butter. Cook on low 6-8 hours or high for 3-4 hours.

Step 4:  Once wings are fully cooked, carefully take them out of slow cooker and place on pan that has been sprayed with cooking spray and broil for 3-4 minutes.  This really increases the flavor and makes for a crisper wing! Then place wings in a bowl and toss with more wing sauce and garnish with green onions (optional). Serve with celery and blue cheese dressing.

 

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Recipe: Freezer to Crockpot Buffalo Chicken Wings

Summary: This all time favorite can be made in the crock pot for easy clean up!

Ingredients

4 pounds chicken wings
2 cups wing sauce
2-4 tablespoons butter (cooking day only)
salt and pepper
1 bunch green onions (optional, cooking day only)
1 stalk celery (optional, cooking day only)
1 container chunky blue cheese dressing (optional, cooking day only)



Instructions

Season wings with salt and pepper.
Then divide wings into freezer bags,(be sure to label bags first) Then pour one cup of wing sauce into each bag and make sure  sauce covers all wings. Freeze until needed.
Thaw in refrigerator for 24 hours; pour contents into slow cooker and add butter. Cook on low 6-8 hours or high for 3-4 hours.
Once wings are fully cooked, carefully take them out of slow cooker and place on pan that has been sprayed with cooking spray and broil for 3-4 minutes.  This really increases the flavor and makes for a crisper wing! Then place wings in a bowl and toss with more wing sauce and garnish with green onions (optional). Serve with celery and blue cheese dressing.

Preparation time: 5-7 minutes

Cooking time: 6-8hours on low or 3-4 hours on high in slow cooker, Then 3-4 minutes in oven on broil.

Number of servings (yield): 4

 

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