Ruth Soukup's Blog, page 121
January 21, 2014
A Mom Sets the Tone
Though it has been a few years, I can still remember the conversation like it was yesterday. In one of our marathon phone sessions, I poured out all my frustration to my sister:
Chuck is such a jerk! I’m so tired of feeling like I can’t do anything right! And the girls are driving me absolutely crazy! No sooner do I get one mess cleaned up than they make another one. Annie still won’t sleep through the night and Maggie refuses to sit on the potty and they both just won’t. stop. whining. I feel so tired and crabby and angry! I just want to scream!
Although she was 3,000 miles away, her response stopped me dead in my tracks, and she may as well have slapped me across the face. Six years older, with kids that were now in high school, she had already made it through those exasperating preschool years. She quietly said, I know how hard it is, but you have to remember that a mom sets the tone for her household. The mood of your family will ultimately reflect your own. If you are crabby, they will be too.
My kids are a little older now, both potty trained and sleeping through the night. They pick up after themselves, at least some of the time, and I’m not quite as exhausted as I was when they were babies. While I still struggle with crabbiness far more than I would like to admit, over the years I have discovered a few surefire ways to improve my mood and my attitude when I am feeling on edge. They might just work for you too:
{Continue reading this post at The Better Mom}
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Do you ever struggle with anger towards your husband & kids? How do you reset your mood when anger strikes?
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January 20, 2014
7 Ways Google Calendar Simplifies My Life
I couldn’t be happier to introduce you all to my dear friend Crystal Paine of Money Saving Mom. Crystal is one of those people who I just “clicked” with the instant that we met. Every time we talk I feel both challenged to do better and encouraged that I can actually do it. If you’ve ever read her amazing blog, you know that is just the way she is! Her new book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, launches tomorrow, January 21st, and I can’t say enough good things about it! It is jam-packed full of practical tips and wisdom for learning how to THRIVE in your life, instead of just survive! She is also giving away an amazing packet of over 40 free life-organizing printables just for sharing the news about her book on social media, so be sure to first order the book here, then pop over to her site to get your printable packet!
This is a guest post from Crystal of MoneySavingMom.com
For years, I was an ardent pen and paper gal. I wrote lists. I checked things off the lists. And I prided myself on how I stayed so organized without the aid of any new-fangled techie tools.
Because isn’t old-fashioned better, right? Well, that’s what I had convinced myself was true.
But then, my business grew and my kids grew and our calendar started filling up with more appointments and activities. Needless to say, the pen and paper method wasn’t working so well.
I kept trying to make the paper system work… I was determined and committed. But I often didn’t have my paper with me when I needed to write something down. So then I’d scratch it down on any paper that was nearby — and then often lose that paper.
In addition, my brain felt constantly cluttered up by to-do’s and to-remembers. I didn’t have a streamlined way to post paper reminders of something I needed to remember in 7 weeks and 3 days from now, so I just kept it in my head, kept reminding myself that I couldn’t forget it, and then kept worrying that I wouldn’t remember to remind myself about it.
Yes, I was fighting a losing battle!
My husband — always one to jump on anything techie — strong encouraged me to try Google Calendar. “That’s online.” I protested. “You know that online calendars won’t work for me.” But he persisted and I finally relented.
And I am so very glad I did, because using Google Calendar has revolutionized my life and my productivity. In fact, in spite of the fact that I’m usually the non-techie person, I continually catch myself championing Google Calendar to my friends and family!
Here are seven ways Google Calendar simplifies my life:
1. It Gives Me a Place to Brain Dump
You know all those little things you’re constantly thinking you need to remember? I love that I no longer have to carry them around in my brain. Instead, I can quickly and easily add a note about something on an upcoming day my Google Calendar.
Truly, when I stopped having to keep track of such a myriad of information, it felt as if a weight lifted off my shoulders! And it cleared up a lot of space in my brain for other projects to percolate.
2. It Allows Me to Have All Event Details in One Place
When I add an appointment to my calendar, I use the Description section on Google Calendar to add all pertinent details: time, place, any information I need to remember or bring, directions to the location, and/or a phone number for who I’m meeting with.
Putting all these details into one place saves me so much time and headache. Instead of having to scour through my phone or email inbox to retrieve these details if something comes up, everything I could need for an event or appointment is in one central location.
3. It Sends Me Reminders
If you’re anything like me, you have the best intentions, but then life happens and you sometimes forget that you had a phone meeting scheduled or needed to take your child to the eye doctor. This is why the reminder feature on Google Calendar is so handy!
I set up reminders based upon the likelihood of my forgetting about something. Sometimes, I might just set up one reminder to pop up on my phone ten minutes before. Other times, I set up five reminders via email and my phone… just in case!
I can’t tell you how many times these reminders have prevented me from completely missing something I was suppose to do or somewhere I was supposed to go! And knowing they are set up helps me breathe easy instead of feeling anxious that I’ll forget something important.
4. It Allows Me to Easily Re-Assign Tasks
The biggest downfall of pen and paper is that you have to re-write your list when life throws you a curveball. Not so with Google Calendar.
If you end up having a busier day than expected and you don’t have time to get to four things assigned on your Calendar for today, you can just effortlessly drag and drop them to another day.
No more re-writing to-do lists or feeling guilty that you couldn’t get everything done in a day!
5. It Syncs With My Phone
Pen and paper gets really bulky to lug around and have at all times. On the other hand, the beauty of Google Calendar is that you can check your schedule and appointments on your calendar right from your phone. There’s no longer any need to have a big planner with your entire calendar on it with you at all times or to mess with opening up your laptop to check on your schedule.
You can even have Siri update your calendar with new to-do’s and reminders while you’re driving home from the grocery store! It’s like you have a personal assistant right at your fingertips — and all for not a penny more than what you’re paying for your smartphone plan!
6. It Organizes My Travel
I use TripIt to keep all of my travel details together and I adore the fact that TripIt and Google Calendar can be synced together. Now that my accounts are synced, whatever I add to TripIt automatically shows up on my Google Calendar on my phone. This saves me lots of time and hassle shuffling through travel confirmations and also guarantees that I know where I’m supposed to be and when.
7. It Improves My Marriage
Did this last point catch you by surprise? Well, it’s true!
I love the option Google Calendar has that allows you to share calendars with others. We use this in my business to keep track of other people’s schedules and responsibilities and for deadlines and details on projects we’re collaborating on.
But I don’t just use it for sharing calendars with people I work with professionally, my husband and I share our calendars with each other so that we can know what the other has going on each day. This is helpful for logistic purposes, but it goes much deeper than that.
You see, when I look at what all my husband has scheduled for his day, it helps me to know better how to pray for him, it helps me to be able to ask questions about what he has going on, and reminds me to express gratitude to him for all he’s doing as part of his job.
If I didn’t know what he had going on throughout the day, I wouldn’t be able to be as involved in his life and I certainly wouldn’t have the level of appreciation I do for him. And it’s these things that help make our marriage stronger… thanks to Google Calendar!
Crystal Paine is a wife, mom of three,
and founder of MoneySavingMom.com, one of the most popular personal finance blogs on the web, where she writes about intentional living within her finances, family, and business. Her second book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, releases January 21, 2014.
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Do you use Google Calendar? What other ideas do you have for keeping track of your schedule and your life?
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January 19, 2014
Weekend Wandering
Happy Sunday everyone! I’m not normally a huge sports fan, but I have to say that I am really looking forward to a day of good football today! I was born and raised in the Seattle area so it is pretty exciting to see my hometown team doing so well this year! You can tell I’m really getting excited when I start a new football themed Pinterest board! 
In the meantime, be sure to check out all the great posts from Thrifty Thursday! There were SO many great ideas to choose from this week, which made it very difficult to pick favorites. In the end, these are the ones I loved!
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First of all, my family would be all over this Chicken Rice Soup by Carmel Moments. It looks so yummy!
I can’t tell you how many times I have needed taco seasoning, only to see that I am all out. Again. I am bookmarking this Homemade Taco Seasoning from One Little Project for the next time I run out!
My husband and I made jelly for the first time together last fall and it was so much fun! Now that he’s embraced the idea, I’d love to venture out and try this Simple Pepper Jelly from Kleinworth & Co.
These Valentine’s Day Marshmallow Pops & Candies by Savvy Saving Couple are absolutely adorable!
I love these Grown-Up Valentine ideas from The Moon and Me. Who says we can’t have fun too?
These Valentine’s Day Paper Strip Heart Garland by Posed Perfection look super easy and would be great to hand on a wall or fireplace!
The transformation of this Bedroom Chandelier by 24 Cottonwood Lane will seriously have you wanting to spray paint your very own!
This Simple Yearly Cleaning Checklist by Moritz Fine Designs gives you 3 cleaning tasks each month so it’s not overwhelming. I love that!
Composting always looks so hard, that I’ve haven’t dared try it! Easy Composting for A Healthy Garden by Taylor-Made Ranch Homestead Blog makes this task extremely doable.
I think stockpiling is a must, but it can easily take over my entire house! I love how Mission: To Save gives these Realistic Stockpiling Tips for those of us who don’t have a lot of space.
More Than Books: The Best Kept Secret in Your Town by Creative Savings gives you 9 FREE activities to do at the local library. I had no idea you could do all these!
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What did you love this week?
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January 17, 2014
7 Easy Ways to Save Money on Meat
Today I am thrilled to introduce you to my dear friend and amazing assistant, Kalyn Brooke! When she is not helping me maintain my sanity by keeping track of all the behind-the-scenes stuff that happens here at LWSL, she is busy running her own fantastic frugal blog, Creative Savings. Over the years I have had lots of readers ask for ideas on how to save on meat, but honestly, as a longtime vegetarian, saving on meat is just not my area of expertise! Luckily for me and for you, Kalyn knows a whole lot about this subject, and today she is going to fill you all in! Be sure to check out her blog for more great money-saving tips!
This is a guest post from Kalyn Brooke of Creative Savings
One of the major culprits of out-of-control grocery budgets is meat. It’s downright expensive, often overpriced, and yet we still continue to buy large quantities of it. Probably because men like my husband would throw an absolute fit if we didn’t!
The solution isn’t to get rid of meat all-together, but there are a few easy ways to help reduce the economic impact of this fridge and freezer staple. Practice all of these tips, and I guarantee you will see results within just a few weeks!
1. Eat Less Meat
It might seem a little obvious, but it’s true. Eating less meat will boost the bottom line, and give you an excuse to try new recipes outside chicken casseroles and sloppy-joes. Just implementing 2-3 meatless meals a week will reduce your need to buy it all the time, which will leave a little more wiggle room in your grocery budget. For fresh meal ideas, check out Ruth’s vegetarian recipe section!
2. Know Your Price Per Pound
You can save a huge chunk of money just by knowing how much meat typically costs. Keep a grocery price book and write down the price per pound after every purchase. Pretty soon, you will start seeing a trend, and won’t need to reference your price book as often.
Bulk packages often have a lower price per pound, but are not always found in regular grocery stores. It might be worth it to consider paying for a membership at bulk food store, and see what they can offer. Don’t forget to record those prices in your price book too!
3. Freeze As Much As Possible
After each grocery store run, make it a habit to repackage all meat into smaller, plastic freezer bags as soon as possible. Then label, stack, and store in the freezer until it’s time to pull out for a lunch or dinner recipe.
Leaving meat in the fridge for more than a few days can cause it to spoil fast, and I would hate for you to waste all that money! Establish a rule that unless you will be using the meat that day, it goes straight into the freezer.
4. Don’t Buy Specialty Meat
It seems obvious that to save money on meat, you wouldn’t go out and buy a New York Strip Steak. Instead it’s more reasonable to stick to basic chicken breasts and ground beef.
However, you still have to watch what you’re buying. Boneless or thinly sliced chicken breasts cost much more than drumsticks or whole chickens, because you’re letting the butcher do all the work for you. I don’t know about you, but even though I hate touching raw meat, I’d much rather pay less and cut up the chicken myself!
5. Stretch the Life of Meat
I never pay much attention to meat portions in recipes, and if you’re trying to save money, you probably shouldn’t either. When the ingredients call for 4 chicken breasts, I use only two and cut them in half. I do the same with ground beef. A recipe might tell me to use whole pound, but I’ll use only half and just make the casserole less meaty. No one has ever noticed!
With a whole chicken, there is always a ton of meat left over. Freeze the extras for use in casseroles, and boil the bones for broth. I used to be so intimidated by this, but it is really easy! I still have jars of chicken broth in the freezer from months ago, and they are absolutely perfect for soups, stews, and to use with pasta dishes.
6. Buy a Portion of a Cow….or Pig
If you live in a farming area, definitely look into buying a whole animal or even half. This is best if you have a deep freezer to store it in, since I’m pretty sure they would never fit in my little kitchen one!
It might seem like a huge cost up front, but if you know your price per pound {point #2}, then it could potentially be a cheaper option in the long run.
7. Shop Unconventional Grocery Stores
Don’t be afraid to visit smaller international stores to see what their prices are on meat. We have found a gem of a store here in Southwest Florida that is mostly Hispanic, but has the best prices we’ve found on meat and produce.
Stores like Aldi or Save-A-Lot also have excellent prices on meat, not to mention a lower grocery bill all around for additional items. Shop around, compare prices, and plan your trips accordingly!
At first, it can seem impossible to lower your grocery budget any more than it already is, but once you start thinking of ways to scrimp and save, it becomes a little bit easier each time.
Avoid trying to save on everything all at once, and instead, focus on one portion of the grocery bill at a time. Take one month to focus on meat, one on produce, one on pantry items, and so on. By the time the year is over, you’ll be a pro at saving on everything!
Kalyn Brooke is a full-time writer and blogger at CreativeSavingsBlog.com,
where she gives a fresh perspective on frugal living, and the kick-in-the-pants you need to create a budget from scratch. She lives in beautiful Southwest Florida with her news-photographer husband and the most adorable bunny you’ve ever seen. She loves making to-do lists, reading good books, eating chocolate peanut butter ice cream, and pursuing big dreams….all carefully planned out, of course.
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How do you save money on meat?
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January 16, 2014
Thrifty Thursday {Week 43}
Good morning thrifty friends! Is anyone else being hit by sickness this week? Both my girls and husband have been battling the flu but so far–knock on wood–I haven’t gotten it. Keeping my fingers crossed…there is way too much to do for this mama to be spending a week in bed! 
In any case, I’m excited to see what you all have to share this week!
Here are the most clicked links from last week:
1. Frugality Gal {5 Money Saving Swaps for the Newly Frugal}
2. Six Figures Under {How We Paid Off $36,000 of Debt in 2013}
3. Carrie This Home {$30 Budget Bedroom Makeover}
4. From This Kitchen Table {Book List for 2014}
5. An Inviting Home {I Couldn’t Afford NOT to Make This!}
6. Creative Savings {The Smart Way to Save for Christmas}
7. An Extraordinary Day {Laundry Room Makeover: The Reveal!}
8. My Love for Words {Ideas for Creating an Organized Kitchen}
9. Kalea of the House {10 Tips to Keep Your Grocery Costs Down}
10. Whole Food Mom on a Budget {Surviving N0-Spend January}
Never linked up to a party before? Here’s how:
Scroll down, find the little blue “Add your Link” Button and click on that.
Follow the instructions on the next page – add a great image of your project and an interesting title. Make sure you link to the direct page of your budget friendly post – not the main page of your blog!
Try to visit at least a few other blogs at the party. Be sure to leave a comment to let them know you stopped by!
Please link back to this post somehow. There are badges available here; a simple text link is just fine too.
Feel free to tweet about Thrifty Thursday so others can join the fun, and don’t forget to check back here Sunday morning to see which posts have been featured this week!
Finally, if this is your first time here I also invite you to check out my eBook, How to Blog for Profit (Without Selling Your Soul). It has more than 90 five-star reviews on Amazon, and it is an awesome resource if you are interested in building your blog, getting more traffic, or learning how to monetize.
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January 15, 2014
How to Make Homemade Yogurt
Making homemade yogurt is one of those things I have literally been meaning to try for years, ever since my friend Kelly shared this recipe with me back in 2010! And now that I have finally gotten around to it, I can’t believe I waited so long!
Friends, this recipe is so easy to make that it is basically foolproof and I am literally kicking myself for not trying it sooner. I have made it a few times now, and even when I think I have completely screwed it up (like heated the milk to 200 degrees instead of 180) it has come out just fine. My girls absolutely can not get enough of this stuff and I love that we can sweeten it with honey and coconut and fresh fruit (and maybe a few chocolate chips!) instead of just buying the sugar-laden stuff at the grocery store.
Here is what you need:
1/2 gallon whole milk
1 6oz container plain, unsweetened yogurt
food or candy thermometer
slow cooker
2-3 large towels
Step 1: Pour milk into crockpot; turn to high and heat to 180 degrees. (This will take between 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours.)
Step 2: Turn off the slow cooker and allow milk to cool to 120 degrees (This will also take between 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours.) Let unsweetened yogurt and allow to sit at room temperature while milk is cooling.
Step 3: Once milk has reached 120 degrees, mix yogurt into milk and stir gently but thoroughly.
Step 4: Replace lid and bundle crockpot with several towels. Set crockpot in an out-of-the-way place where it the yogurt can ferment, undisturbed, for 6-8 hours or overnight.
Step 6: Carefully unwrap crockpot and transfer crock to refrigerator to let yogurt cool completely. Do not shake or stir–the less you disrupt it, the better it will set.
Note: My family likes our yogurt to have a softer consistency, but if you prefer a thicker yogurt, you can line a colander with cheesecloth as shown, then pour in the yogurt to strain out some of the excess water.
Step 7: Serve with fresh fruit, berries, chocolate, granola, or coconut…the sky’s the limit on this one! Be sure to reserve 3/4 cup of starter for your next batch….you’ll be making it again before you know it!
Print This!
Recipe: How to Make Homemade Yogurt
Summary: Create your own healthy yogurt for your family.
Ingredients
1/2 gallon whole milk
1 6oz container plain, unsweetened yogurt
food or candy thermometer
slow cooker
2-3 large towels
Instructions
Pour milk into crockpot; turn to high and heat to 180 degrees. (This will take between 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours.)
Turn off the slow cooker and allow milk to cool to 120 degrees (This will also take between 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours.)
Measure unsweetened yogurt and allow to sit at room temperature while milk is cooling.
Once milk has reached 120 degrees, mix yogurt into milk and stir gently but thoroughly.
Replace lid and bundle crockpot with several towels. Set crockpot in an out-of-the-way place where it the yogurt can ferment, undisturbed, for 6-8 hours or overnight.
Carefully unwrap crockpot and transfer crock to refrigerator to let yogurt cool completely. Do not shake or stir–the less you disrupt it, the better it will set.
Serve with fresh fruit, berries, chocolate, granola, or coconut…the sky’s the limit on this one! Be sure to reserve 3/4 cup of starter for your next batch….you’ll be making it again before you know it!
Preparation time: 4-5 hours
Cooking time: 6-8 hours
Number of servings (yield): 16
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Have you ever made homemade yogurt? Do you have any tips or tricks to share?
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January 13, 2014
DIY Valentine’s Hand Warmers
This is a guest post from Hannah of Lovely Little Life
Hello, everyone! I am Hannah from Lovely Little Life. I’m so happy to be back at Living Well Spending Less to share another easy and affordable project with you all!
Has it been as frigid where you live this winter as it has been here in Indiana? For me, one of the worst things about chilly weather is cold hands. That’s why I decided to make these adorable Valentine’s Day heart hand warmers. I love the idea of having a warm heart in my pocket to keep the chill away! Plus, they’re an awesome Valentine’s Day gift idea! They would make a great alternative to paper valentines, and they are easy enough to let your kids do most of the work!
Here is what you need:
Scissors
Needle & Thread (you could also use embroidery floss or yarn)
Uncooked Beans, Corn, or Rice (any kind except instant)
9 x 12” Soft Felt Sheets (each sheet will yield two 4” hand warmers)
Embellishments (optional)
Step 1: Print and cut out your heart template. I used a Cricut to make mine, but you can download and print one HERE or HERE.Using a pen, trace your heart template onto the felt. You will need to trace two hearts for each hand warmer.
Step 2: Cut out your felt hearts.
Step 3: (optional) If you would like to add embellishments such as buttons, ribbon, or felt cutouts make sure you sew them onto your hearts before proceeding to the next step.
Step 4: Hand sew two hearts together using a simple straight stitch. You could also use a blanket stitch or sewing machine. Make sure to leave a small 1 – 2” opening at the bottom so you will be able to fill the hearts.
Step 5: Fill the hearts with beans, corn, or rice.
Step 6: Finish sewing the hearts together until completely closed. (Note: You could also use a sewing machine for a less ‘rustic’ look.)
To use just pop them in the microwave for 15-30 seconds. They’ll stay toasty and keep you cozy for up to 30 minutes!
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I wish I had made these years ago! Whose hands and heart do you plan on warming with them?
Hi! My name is Hannah. I’m a twenty-something girl all about DIY, home decor, crafting, and fashion! My blog is Lovely Little Life. I love to share upcycling projects and easy DIY decor.
Hi! My name is Hannah. I’m a twenty-something girl all about DIY, home decor, crafting, and fashion! My blog is Lovely Little Life. I love to share upcycling projects and easy DIY decor.Hi! My name is Hannah. I’m a twenty-something girl all about DIY, home decor, crafting, and fashion! My blog is Lovely Little Life. I love to share upcycling projects and easy DIY decor.
Read more at http://www.livingwellspendingless.com/2013/12/02/m-magazine-rack-diy-gift-handmade-holidays/#Qv8lk4rDpGpUSwYu.99
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January 12, 2014
Weekend Wandering
Happy Sunday my frugal friends! I hope you are having a great weekend, especially since it is not quite as bitterly cold as it was last week! There was a LOT to love at this week’s Thrifty Thursday link party! It is always so hard to choose my favorites but this week seemed especially tough! I love reading your posts and seeing all the great recipes and ideas you have to share. Thank you for all the inspiration week after week. That said, here are my picks for the week:
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Spotting this Slow Cooker Breakfast Casserole by Cincy Shopper was like getting a blast from the past! Growing up my mom used to always make breakfast casserole for birthdays & special occasions, but I haven’t thought about it for years. I may just have to give this one a try.
I don’t miss the weather from the Pacific Northwest but I definitely miss the food, especially all the great Pho, which I haven’t had since I moved to Florida! I’m really excited to try this Vietnamese Pho Recipe for the Crock Pot by Menu of Musings!
This Skinny Slow Cooker Cheeseburger Soup by Passionate Penny Pincher looks like an easy and healthy winter meal.
I guess I just can’t help myself this week when it comes to soup recipes! This Ramen Vegetable Soup by The First Year Blog looks especially delicious too!
Aren’t these Groundhog Day Pancakes by The Joys of Boys absolutely adorable? My husband is the chief pancake maker in our house but I think even he could handle this cute little project.
This Easy DIY Winter Scarf Wreath by A Cultivated Nest looks so incredibly cozy, I want to make one for my front door right away!
It is so easy to be discouraged by all the beautiful photos on Pinterest. To the Pinterest Depressed Mom by I Am That Lady is a fabulous article that reminds us not to compare ourselves to others.
This Printable Grocery List by Frugality Gal is a great way to keep your grocery budget on track each week.
I hope I’m not the only one who has excessive laundry piles! I just love these 7 Tips to Tame the Laundry Pileup by Early Bird Mom and am excited to implement them right away.
Blogging is hard work, and I really appreciated the thoughts shared by Eat Pray Read Love in How I {finally} Started Making Money Blogging. I hope it encourages all bloggers to not give up!
Finally, My Love for Words has committed to 100 Days of Random Acts of Kindness, and I just love the 20 ideas she shared here! We could all use a little lesson in being nice.
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What did you love this week?
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January 10, 2014
4 Resolutions Every Mom Should Make
Today I am so excited to be re-introducing you to my dear friend E die from Life in Grace. Those of you who have been around for a while might remember her from the 31 Days of Less & More series that we co-hosted in October. Edie and I became friends about three years ago, just a few weeks after her family lost everything in a devastating house fire, and over the years she has taught me much about grace, friendship, and hospitality. In fact, her post just a few days ago, Finding God’s Will For Your Life, completely rocked my world (in a good way.) Seriously, go read it right now. It will change you. She has guest posted here on LWSL once before, and that post, 5 Tips for Raising Kids You Like, has profoundly affected the way I have parented my own girls. She is a gem!
Welcome Edie!
I may have an unhealthy obsession with the New Year. Fresh starts are like cool, mountain air to me. Maybe it has something to do with my January birthday or my tendency to want to hunker down, but January is one of my favorite months. I read a lot of books, make a lot of soups, and cozy up together on the sofa at night with my peeps and my brand new journal to write goals and plans in a fit of terrific passion and inspiration.
This year was a little different for me. I talk a lot about serving others at my blog—so much so that I wrote a little eBook on the Heart of Hospitality—a little primer on serving the people in your life. I think we’re often plagued with the haunting question of WHAT IS MY LIFE’S PURPOSE, that we forget the important work we already do everyday for the people we love. We are already serving our neighbor in so many important ways—especially the “neighbors” who live in our house. The little phrase, “Just do the next thing your neighbor needs,” kept swirling in my head.
Don’t worry, I still made THE LIST. You know the one—that says run a half marathon, make a quilt, write a book, get a book deal, make homemade donuts, etc. I’m not the queen of resolutions for nothing. But, it hasn’t been the most pressing thing on my heart. I really want to serve my neighbor in better more meaningful ways and it reminded me how often our (my) resolutions are pretty self-centered. So, I made a new list that read something like this—listen better to my children, show kindness when it’s hard, laugh more with my family, inspire don’t demand—all things my children and family need more from me.
1. Listen With Intention
Why is this so important? Consider this conversation that my husband Stevie and I have about once a year.
Me: You don’t listen to me.
Him: (silence)
Me: Did you hear me?
Him: Yes, what did you say? (looks at me over top his readers)
Me: I said, You don’t listen to me when I talk to you.
Him: Yes, I do. Give me example.
Me: Everything I’ve tried to say to you in the last two weeks. That’s your example.
Him: I’m sorry. I’m such a jerk sometimes. I’ll do better. Will you forgive me?
Me: Yes.
AND THEN?????? I promptly don’t listen to half of what my own children say to me. I am SO the pot calling the kettle black. And here’s the kicker. When you don’t really listen to the people in you life, it’s such a slap in the face. It says to them that they aren’t important to you. I don’t want to send that message to my children. And you know what else? Contrary to what you think, they don’t tell you everything. But, what they tell you is a clue to what’s important to them, to what’s going on in their life. They casually mention that someone wasn’t nice to them in math? There may be way more to the story than that, but if you’re half listening, you won’t know to probe farther. Also? Look in their eyes when they talk to you. You’ll get so much more of what they’re really trying to tell you than if you’re just half halfheartedly listening while you type on the computer. (Ahem. Not that anyone in this room, writing this blog post ever does that)
2. Laugh More
Life is hard and serious. Bills, sickness, death, the seeming drudgery of ordinary life. It’s tough stuff. My life might look rosy from the outside, but there’s so much you don’t see. And the same is true for you. We all have suffering and heartache and loss. When we lost our house three years ago, I wondered if I’d ever laugh again. Until three days later, when my sister tried to stop me from buying a dutch oven by saying in a very hesitant voice, “Ummmm, you don’t have a stove.” That was funny. I bought the dutch oven anyways, and we laughed for weeks at the fact that all I currently owned in this world was cowboy boots, a computer, and a dutch oven. (I may not be homesteader material and that’s a fact.)
My point is—find ways to laugh more. It’s so good for your body, soul, and spirit. Buy a karaoke machine and sing Stand By Your Man at the top of your lungs. That’s funny, my friends.
Or, turn on some music and have a dance party with the kids. At my house, with my dancing skills? That’s really funny. Watch a comedy or just sit for a long time and try NOT to laugh. Or make some party favors and take some funny pictures. It’s amazing what a few funny props will do for morale!
Your kids need to see you laugh and enjoy life. Stop being so serious all the time. (I’m talking to myself!)
3. Be Kind
My girls take piano from the kindest woman I have ever met. The way she speaks to my children and treats shocks me every time. It so inspires me that I can guarantee you that I’m nicer to my kids when we leave piano. It’s almost otherworldly. She’s like an angel. Have you ever had the privilege of knowing someone like that? Our ears are mostly used to hearing people yelling at their kids and speaking harshly to them. It’s such a breath of fresh air to meet someone who is genuinely kind. I’m making it my goal to be that sort of person this year. Could you be kinder to your family than you currently are?
4. Inspire, Don’t Demand
Teaching kids to work hard is part of your job as a parent. It’s important. No one likes to be around lazy, entitled adults, so let’s not raise any more of them. I want my kids to grow up to be gracious, kind, loving, and hard working. But, when you’re teaching them work ethic and responsibility, there’s a way to do it that inspires them. And when they’re inspired, they do way better work, for way longer than if your only means of getting them to do something is just to demand it from them. Then, when they’re older, they’ll (hopefully) be the type of people who are self-motivated and self-disciplined—because they’ve seen that example in you.
We’ve been doing lots of cleaning and reorganizing the past few days. Yesterday, we cleaned out the fridge AND cleaned out the Christmas storage attic (otherwise known as the coldest place in North America.) So. We made it a contest. We set a timer for an hour. My children, Nick and Elea tackled the fridge and Emme and I put on our parkas and tackled the frozen tundra. At one point, Elea came to find me, with a distressed look in her eyes and said, “Mom, I dying. It scares me and everything is sticky.” Out of the mouth of babes. We somehow survived our jobs and now our house is cleaner and my kids are wiser for it. Find ways to make them work hard without them knowing there working so hard.
Parenting is the most important job we do. I think it warrants a top spot on our list of goals!
Happy New Year!
Edie is a writer and lifestyle blogger sharing her grace story at her website: life{in}grace.
She is passionate about lifelong learning, enjoys reading and writing about a variety of topics that include: faith, homemaking, parenting, cooking and interior design. She loves her quirky life of raising chickens, having a small garden and a brood of children. She is a devoted cook and foodie who looks for the divine among the mundane and cherishes the scared grace moments that spring up through the stony ground of everyday living.
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What are your New Year’s resolutions?
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January 9, 2014
Thrifty Thursday {Week 42}
Happy Thursday! I hope you are all managing to stay warm wherever you are during this very, very cold winter week! I realize the “cold” 40 degree weather we’ve had here in Florida doesn’t compare to the sub-zero temperatures many of you are dealing with, but I’m still hoping things will warm up soon! In the meantime, I plan to stay cozy and have fun checking out all the great budget friendly recipes, DIY projects, and money saving tips you all have to share this week!
Here are the most clicked links from last week:
1. The Life of a Craft Crazed Mom {Top 10 Organizational Lists}
2. From This Kitchen Table {12 Favorite Books Read in 2013}
3. A Day in Our Shoes {5 Frugal Tips to Get Your 2014 Started}
4. Six Figures Under {We’re Not Six Figures Under Anymore!}
5. Aspired Living {More Than 25 Ways to Save Money}
6. The Thrifty Frugal Mom {4 Tips to Begin Reducing Your Grocery Spending}
7. Feet Grounded on the Earth {My New Favorite Organizing Idea!}
8. Eat Pray Read Love {The Year of Thrift Store Shopping}
9. Snail Pace Transformations {10 Steps to a Thriftier New Year}
10. Taylor Made Ranch {Top 10 Homesteading Posts of the Year}
Never linked up to a party before? Here’s how:
Scroll down, find the little blue “Add your Link” Button and click on that.
Follow the instructions on the next page – add a great image of your project and an interesting title. Make sure you link to the direct page of your budget friendly post – not the main page of your blog!
Try to visit at least a few other blogs at the party. Be sure to leave a comment to let them know you stopped by!
Please link back to this post somehow. There are badges available here; a simple text link is just fine too.
Feel free to tweet about Thrifty Thursday so others can join the fun, and don’t forget to check back here Sunday morning to see which posts have been featured this week!
Finally, if this is your first time here I also invite you to check out my eBook, How to Blog for Profit (Without Selling Your Soul). It has more than 90 five-star reviews on Amazon, and it is an awesome resource if you are interested in building your blog, getting more traffic, or learning how to monetize.
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The post Thrifty Thursday {Week 42} appeared first on Living Well Spending Less™.
