Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 54

Every truth is a Kindness

 

What is better? Uncomfortable truths or comfortable lies? Every truth is a kindness even if it makes others uncomfortable. Every untruth is unkindness even it it makes others comfortable. Glennon Doyle

Dealing with the truth has so many lessons.

Lessons in patience - sometimes the truth comes in doses. We may not be ready to get the full shot.

Lessons in feeling all the feelings - if we ignore the feelings associated with knowing and hearing the truth

Lessons in standing up, standing firm and standing in your truth.

Lessons in love - self love requires truth and being true.

The truth needs no defense and so it will show up as it needs to giving us a choice on whether we accept it or not.

The truth remains constant and waits for you

Peace

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A Happy outcome to all things is sure

 “A happy outcome to all things is sure”  ACIM

I love this line from the Course. It suggests to me that whatever happens I will be ok. The lessons, the struggle, the anger, the pain, the illusions and delusions are all part of the process given the choices that I make.

A happy outcome suggests to me that once we use what we have keeping in mind it may never be what we think we want, then the outcome is God's will and that is always sure.

Sure we may have pain

Sure we may experiences that throw us off balance

Sure we may have tough lessons

But

Sure we will be alright because journeys bring unexpected moments, challenges and twists. The responsibility I have is to use the lessons and experiences knowing that the outcome is sure.

Peace

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Mistakes Makes Masters

 

A mistake gets made and the tendency is to dive right into blame, shame, and condemn. Not necessarily the most helpful, but it’s what we’re trained in. Danielle La Porte

My friend's manager at work said to her "be sure never to make a fatal mistake" I asked her if there were categories given so that she can be aware of what a fatal mistake is. A fatal mistake was said to be one where you do something which costs you your job. 

I was a bit concerned by that statement. Firstly, its broad, secondly I believe mistakes are part of growth. Living in fear of making a mistake seems to be a prison. We inevitably will be faced with decisions that lead to missteps.

I have learnt that mistakes make masters, that what I may call a mistake has been a lead to a new path, a detour on the journey. I have learnt that if you make mistakes around those that judge, blame, berate you chances are you don't need to be around them. If you are, then your growth will be stunted.

I have learnt self forgiveness when I make mistakes, I have learnt to judge others less, to mind my own business and most importantly I have learnt to love myself through it all.

Peace

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Ask Before you Jump in

 How many problems do you make your problem? Because helloooo, you're strong and powerful and resourceful and smart and able and...You can save them the pain of learning it the hard way. You can fix this. You can get them to the realization quicker. If they'd just listen to you it'd all get better. You can helpppppp.

You can if they want it. You can if they ask for it. You can if they come to you asking for what you know or have. But you can't solve, or fix, or help, or save them...for them. They have to do that work. It's not yours to do. And you'll make yourself sick and sad and frustrated and all the things because you kept trying and trying and trying to give until it fixed itself. But it won't. Because they have to do what they need to do. Maxi McCoy
What more can I say? It is quite difficult at times to stop ourselves jumping in to help others when we believe that they need help. Many times they have not asked, they have not shown any interest in being helped, but, as humans, we think its best to help and support one another.We have to ask ourselves the motives, intentions and rationale behind the giving of helpIf its grounded in shame, guilt, and resentment it will not turn out well, trust me.
I have learnt to ask "how can I support you?"I have learnt to mind my business.I have learnt to mind my business minus the guilt.This guides me in giving support minus feeling depleted, resented and guilty.Peace
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Journal Entry on Responsibility

What Did I Learn Today?

The elders call it so well that I have to sit up and pay attention. The discussion was on how does one takes responsibility for themselves. I was asked by a bunch of elders " how do you take responsibility for yourself?"

I thought to myself. Here comes another trick question, one where I might have to go away and think about it or maybe I can just give a “funny" answer so she can get straight to the point”

Ok, truth be told that day I was feeling self conscious.

I woke up early and was getting ready to head to base, My morning routine was as per usual. A cup of tea, iron my clothes and then leave to get to the base.

Lo and behold, electricity/power was cut off that morning!

This happens quite often and sometimes daily.

I silently curse because I have nothing ironed, I should know better right? Be prepared for no power, no electricity on a daily basis.

When there is power , put things in place!

So I roll into the base looking like a ramfle diva!

When the question is asked "how do I take responsibility for myself, I took it personally and it went straight to my head.

By now I should also know no one on the base cares about how one looks nor about if a question is taken personally

"Do you have an answer yet Nyabo?"

"Should I go away and come back with one?" She laughed " you people think you are so smart!"" Madam I can tell you this and when I am done you will know that I am absolutely right about you and it will make you start thinking and paying attention and stop moving through this journey like it’s just a job. Just as you cannot eat next week’s bread now you cannot travel next week’s journey now, pay attention!" "You, Madam Akosua Yaki, born on a Sunday, have a vested interest in your community and in the world. You are a full fledged citizen of them all. Your every thought, your every word and action has an impact on those around you and leaves a legacy for those who will follow you. You better get fully aware of the power to either create change or get over your discomfort of the support the status quo. You are willing but not sure how to accept your personal and collective responsibility of how society is ordered and governed. You will use your time, your resources and your voice to make the world a better place in which to live. That is how you take responsibility for yourself! You pay attention to who you are and what you have been put here, not here now, but HERE to do!"What do you say to me now Madam smart one?I say ok!
Peace
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Now What?

Time won't give me Time

it is well to avoid the tendency to catastrophize.

Stop worrying about all that could occur tomorrow. You are getting agitated about things that haven't happened yet...and may never happen.    Stay here, right here, in this moment. What is going on right now...what is occurring right here...? That is all that matters. That is where your life is being lived. Neale Donald Walsh
Time is given to us when we are alive to use how we desire. We have free will.  We can use the time we are given to do whatever we believe is in our best interests or would make our lives better.
There are so many instances where we take for granted our free will and how we use our time is based on other people's demands of it. I am not referring to primary care giving and taking care of our families. We say yes to spending our time worrying, with people and situations which are harmful or draining, with numbing ourselves to avoid feeling, drowning ourselves in work and other distractions. 
We can spend our time in any which way we chose.
 I am now becoming more and more aware of how precious the present moment is. It really is the only moment that I have for sure. I am becoming conscious of being present in the moment. Let me tell you, it is a process. Between the phone, social media and my own thoughts about what I have to do, what I did not do, what I must do, being in the present moment has been challenging.Here I am now. going through the process and learning that how I choose to use my time must be a conscious choice, this is teaching me about reducing people pleasing, having courage to speak up, knowing exactly what is important and dear to me, sacrificing and being present.How are you spending your timePeace

Balance Will Be Restored

 Balance Will be Restored 

Your feelings are your own. No one can feel your feelings for you. Other people can empathize, can be compassionate, can share in your joy and sorry but your feelings are yours to feel. 

Remind yourself of this when putting the responsibility of your own feelings on others, or wanting others to feel the way you feel.

Feelings are guides, they can sometimes be mirrors reflecting to us places where we are joyous where
we require healing, where we are projecting or judging. Pay attention to the guidance and the reflections.  

Learn the language of feelings, it supports in your awareness of how you feel and how you can use the guidance.

Feel all your feelings because feelings buried alive don't die!

Peace

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Now What? The Flipside

Little Miracles Happen Everyday

 

The qualifications for miracles are given in creation; we don’t have to earn them. ACIM

There is no qualification, no criteria, no test required for any of us to receive miracles, we receive miracles because we are here, alive and  part of the Universe. This revelation made me so happy. I know for sure that miracles can happen for me anytime and by virtue of me being alive. I can call on it.

We do not have to prove ourselves worthy, as the Universe responds to our slightest invitation. 

Have you ever called for a miracle and it happens? You were at the point where you felt that there was nothing else that you could have humanly done, you were at the end of your own point of logic and you surrendered. Surrendering is an invitation for miracles to occur. Surrender is giving up our way, our control and our fear. 

Miracles shifts our mindsets, it shows us that there are other ways, other forces that can support and guide us that we cannot even begin to explain.

When I "look for a miracle" I look for a change of my mind about the situation surrendering it to the Universe for guidance and clarity.

Peace

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Illusion or Reality?

The ego generally dishes in two categories: arrogance and superiority complexes… or insecurity and inferiority complexes. And all the wild vacillations in between. Danielle LaPorte

Ten Things My Negative Ego Tells Me:

1. You CAN'T do that! - have you ever done that before?

2. Don't show your legs, they have cellulite and people will see it

3. You are too old for that

4. Can you really be yourself and expect people not to be shocked?

5. Stop wasting time with reading and do some work.

6. Get out more, you are inside too much, how can you meet people and get a partner?

7. People in your field are better than you, have more experience and more qualification

8. Work harder, work harder, work harder

9. You need more money

10. People pretend around you

Whenever the voice of the negative ego comes up, the lesson is to be mindful and respond with love and compassion that I am doing the best I can, that is all and what is best in the moment

It took me a while to get to this simple response. I am grateful to be here, at a space where I can simply say with confidence...this is my absolute best buddy, I don't know what else to tell you.

Peace

Go Within

 “ Nothing outside yourself can save you; nothing outside yourself can give you peace”   ACIM

Looking for a solution outside of ourselves to solve, soothe or guide you will lead you to an endless search. Of course, there is room for support from your loved ones and even professionals, there are also tools along the Journey. When the decision is made to go within, the support comes, the tools appear and the miracles happen.

There will be nothing that you can find outside of you to substitute for what you already have within. That search will forever be in vain.

Many times the guidance, the solution, the clarity, the love, the peace is within. There is absolutely no substitute.

There is no amount of shopping, gadgets, parties, work, social events that can drown out or substitute.

The challenge is, when we do not get still, when we distract ourselves, when we do not ask for help, the voice within gets drowned out.

A Course in Miracles says the Holy Spirit will respond to your first invitation, loud or soft. It sometimes is a case of asking and being willing to do a new thing.

The question is...are you willing

Peace