Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 50

The bare minimum is a “minimum” for a reason.

Sometimes, the healthy thing to do is the bare minimum. The bare minimum is a “minimum” for a reason. A “minimum” is the least possible amount required. It is, in its very essence, enough. Takondwa
To be at our peak every single day is a stretch though life calls us forward to show up as our best selves everyday, there are times when our best in the moment will be influenced by so many factors that are out of our control .What if you have a cold? What is you are feeling unwell? What if you have an emotional crisis happening in that particular moment? Many times our situation calls for us to acknowledge rather than deny it. When we embrace where we are, we are able to put the time and effort in doing the best in the moment rather than saying to ourselves that we should be doing better - the moment we bring in should it becomes a judgement. We judge ourselves, taking the focus away from doing our best in the moment. The moment, the now, is all that we have for sure. If we cultivate the habit of doing our best in the moment, in the now. Despite what is going on around us, we will always do our best rather than looking for the best circumstances to perform. We will not blame the circumstances, only acknowledge that we showed up, did our best and left the rest.Sometimes when I achieve a goal against all odds it becomes so much more significant because I know what type of sacrifices, challenges and heartaches I have been through. The "victory" becomes sweeter.Cultivate the habit of showing up and doing your best in the moment, if that is the bare minimum, then that my friends is enough.Peace

Discernment

 knowing the difference between insight & advice and opportunities & distractions, are major keys in strengthening discernment. The Conjuress

Like courage, discernment is another muscle to build through use. When we are comfortable with who we are, with using our intuition, with surrendering, discernment becomes an extremely useful tool in the box of resources required for living.

Discernment is the ability to lay hold of truth. to see beyond appearances to that which is obscure and hidden, but divine.

Sometimes we are guided towards the truth, towards seeing things as they are rather than what we want them to be. When we ignore, dismiss, deny our discernment muscles are weakened. Discernment requires stillness, it requires trusting ourselves, it requires a level of trust in our divine guidance that can be scary as many times what we are guided to, from, towards and away from makes little logical sense.

Dissenting saves us heartache and pain, whether it is romantic or not. We can walk towards or away from opportunities, people and situations without feeling guilty or bad and having to justify our actions since "it makes no sense"

Have you ever felt a sense of knowing and acted upon it?

Have you felt something so strongly that nothing could sway you?

This is discernment at play and it is in all of us but as you may have heard before if you don't use it you will lose it.

Peace

Making up Stories

 Most of us have a story about how we got to be the way we are, about what it's like to be 'us,' and about why it is so difficult sometimes to get through life. All of this is stuff that has nothing to do with who we are now. Neale Donald Walsh 

Confessions on the Journey - I  tend to make up stories - not just for a living but particularly when:

 1.I am afraid to bring up the discussion  with the other party for fear of being disliked or misunderstood.

2. the conversation in my mind is tough to have.

3. running away from conflict.

4. I am scared of the outcome.

5. I have no control of the outcome and what the other party would say.

Note the thread running through my reasons for making up stories? - fear! Fear of rejection, losing control, not being heard, liked and understood.

Making up stories means that I create a scene in my head based on worst case scenarios as opposed to facing the  facts and getting the truth. You see, to get facts and truths one must have and be willing to have uncomfortable conversations. Have you ever had a difference of opinion with another person and you make up a scenario in your head- a worst case one, then when the actual conversation does occur it is so much more simple and pleasant than your made up story?

Uncertainty and unknowns - there is no control, no making sure that we know what is happening, what can happen and what will happen. It is usually a case of trusting your self, trusting your intuition and going with the flow.

We humans love to be sure, to have all the answers, to not make mistakes, we love to look good and be validated. Uncertainty and unknowns cannot guarantee this!

So, I ask myself now - is this a story that I am making up? What is the fear here? Do I feel any resistance in my body? This is the start of the process. Once I do that I affirm to myself to make up another story, that there are no guarantees but there will be learnings, lessons and love.

awfulization is a fear based response and  there is nothing to fear, There is never anything to fear.

Peace

Attachments and Detachments

 The Buddha taught not to cling. How do we practise non-clinging?

We practise simply by giving up clinging, but this non-clinging is very difficult to understand. It takes keen wisdom to investigate and penetrate this, to really achieve non-clinging. ~ Ajahn Chah
During the height of the pandemic, I planted a garden in front of where I live, before the garden it was a well manicured lawn. With the help of the next door neighbor, we cleared the area, planted sweet potato, corn, cassava and lemon grass. I felt quite proud of the effort. Seeing the seeds sprouting, the growth stirred something in me.The trick is, I live on a compound that is run by a management committee. They were not happy with the garden, their preference was a manicured lawn not food. A kitchen garden was, according to them, "ugly". A compost heap was also set up at the side of the house, close to the garden. This was also seen as an eye sore. Totally out of order in a compound with lawn, flowers and manicured yards.The neighbors' called a meeting and asked me to cease and desist with having the garden , because it is ugly and most of all it is against the rules that I signed up for when I decided to live here.Truth be told, I was livid. I prevented them for months from touching the garden, making arguments and raising my voice about the ridiculousness of destroying a garden because it is "ugly" a very small piece of land with food planted on it affecting an entire community because of how it looked, did not make one bit of sense to me.This week the talk has resurfaced, the garden must go, the compost heap must go. I started fighting them, I started making a case for the garden, there was some back and forth. I then stopped myself and asked within - what exactly am I fighting for? I feel attacked. What am I defending? What is it that I want to prove?When I stopped and asked myself these questions, it dawned upon me that I wanted to win, to prove a point, there was nothing about the garden in the argument. I wanted to prove how wrong they were and how right I was. I wanted to be praised and complimented for doing the garden.Right in that moment of awareness, I decided to let it go, to stop resisting, to stop proving, to stop looking for validation. I reframed the question to myself - what is the lesson here?I am still not sure what is the lesson, I do however know that I learned about the impact of being attached to a particular outcome and the freedom of letting go.When attached to a particular outcome which does not materialize, there is disappointment of course but the trick is to know that there is nothing to prove, nothing to hold on to and nothing to defend. The compost heap is gone, the garden is about to go. I know who my neighbors' are, and how they think, this is important information for me to make new decisions - do I want to live around people like this? maybe not! food for thoughtI also know that I can let go and it is never a loss.Peace

Confidence - the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.

 Confidence - the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.

July is the Journey to Confidence. Every month I set an intention early on in the month to embody a practice or principle  that can support this Journey of Life.

Growing up, I always felt self conscious and wondered if I could have done difficult or challenging tasks. My confidence was low. That belief that I could do tough things, amazing things was just a quiet whisper, and - confessions on the Journey - that bothered me.

I wanted to go up on a stage and speak, I wanted to approach the teacher and ask questions, I wanted to be heard. I wanted to do amazing things. I simply did not have the faith or belief in my own self.

While I was aware that I did not have the loud voice within me urging me to believe, what I did have was the wanting to. I wanted to be confident. This wanting propelled me to find ways to be confident. I started small. I started just doing things that I believed was hard, volunteering, asking questions, showing up. It was scary. The scariest thing was thinking I would fail and look stupid! All part of my self talk. Once I recognized that I was in my own way by entertaining negative self talk the decision was to be aware of how I spoke to myself.

Failure is part of life, so is getting embarrassed - both keep us humble and provides such useful feedback on our journeys. Embracing this realization helped me believe in myself so much more and build up more confidence.

I still have a way to go, but I can safely say that I certainly believe in myself much more than ever,getting to this place took a level of commitment, discipline and inner work and affirming of self

Peace

Choices are the very fabric of our existence

 Choices are the very fabric of our existence. Everything we do, think, feel, and experience is a function of choice. Iyanla Vanzant

​Choice gives us power. Choice provides us with a platform to move, to grow, to heal.When we don't make a choice we are living by default, we are giving away our power and our responsibility. Not making a choice is still a choice. Allowing others to make a choice for you is still a choice.Choices have consequences. The consequences can be lessons or they can be blessings the beautiful thing is that As long as we have breath we are always free to make another choice.Always remember that as long as you have breath you have choiceand that choice is your powerPractice itPeace

Love People. No Agenda

 Love people. No agenda. Just genuinely love people. Offer your love freely without expecting anything in return - Cleopatra

Love without conditions by Paul Ferrrini is one of my favorite books. Paul talks about loving all parts and sides of ourselves leads to loving others with an open mind minus conditions. Sounds simple enough when I read it, putting it into practice is an entirely different story. There was always a question mark on whether loving others would either lead to hurt or (confessions on the Journey) me thinking "are they even worth it?" Now I know this way of thinking comes from how I love my own self.

Loving self without judging self takes work. We are sometimes our harshest critics, the way we speak to ourselves when we make mistakes or did not live up to our expectations and when this approach is taken it spills over into the way we treat others.

Love people - loving others just because they are human beings - liking and loving are two different things. We can love them and not like them and certainly we can love them from a distance.

No agenda- just because we are all connected, and what I do affects when you do and vice versa.

When we expect something in return- it becomes a transaction rather than a love thing.

Loving others begins with loving self, the shadow side of self, the shining part of self. This helps tremendously in loving others.

Peace

Journey to Confidence

 ideas live in the mind before we make them real.

July....

Confidence to speak the Truth.Confidence to live the Truth.Confidence to take a Stand.Confidence to trust Self.Confidence to Show Up...Real.Confidence to Listen.Confidence to Empathise.Confidence to Learn.Confidence to Share. Confidence to Love.Confidence to Serve.Confidence to Rest.Confidence to Walk Away.Confidence to Stay.Confidence to Feel...All of it.
Peace

Big Fat Downers

 

Choose the facts that keep you moving in a better direction. Friends in pain (and we all qualify as friends who are hurtin’,) need love and optimism – critique and prognostication are big fat downers. Danielle La Porte

This quote by Danielle La Porte  above arrived to me in divine timing. Recently I found myself getting not just impatient, but annoyed at some of my friend's decision and choices.  I had to ask myself - why am I getting annoyed at other people's decision and business? What about this is sending me to a place of judgement. Part of it, I know is that I care for my friend dearly and want the best for her, part of it - confessions on the Journey- is the negative ego wanting what I want when I want.

I decided, after giving it some serious, to show up in love. When I show up in love, the judgement falls away, both self judgement and judging others. 

When I show up in love, the negative ego cannot survive. This means that I am able to show empathy, compassion and most importantly love and optimism.

I think about myself when I am feeling in a bind, what would make me feel seen, heard, loved and listened to. Particularly when it may be a bitter pill to swallow and then I act accordingly.

Peace

Make it Sacred

We can’t always change the circumstances that surround us, but we can choose the conversation we generate about them Lynne Twist

This morning as I was meditating, the phrase "make it sacred" popped into my head and I must say it resonated for so many different reasons.

I had to ask myself:

1. What is my definition of sacred?

2. Is there any thing that I consider sacred?

3. How can I make my life here on Earth sacred?

There are very little guarantees in life, this I have learnt, and so, the decision to make the time here sacred is a choice I am making to ensure that my time here is well served to both myself and my community.

Sacred is showing up for every thing in my life with and in love and service.

Sacred is knowing that there is always divine guidance in the moment so that there is no need to be in fear.

Sacred is recognizing the beauty, simplicity and grace in each and every moment, even when it is tough.

I choose to make this journey of mine sacred.
Your body- make it sacred.
The sunrise before your eyes- make it sacred.
The love you are receiving - make it sacred.
The love you are not receiving - make it sacred.
Your thoughts, your desires - make it sacred.
The full moon you see with your own eyes - make it sacred.
Challenges, lessons, despair - make it sacred.
Your Divine gifts, all of your gifts - make it sacred.

Make it Sacred

Peace