Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 44
January 10, 2022
Connecting the Dots
Even as it appears that some people have it easy while others are in a continual state of struggle, the truth is that we are all learning, and it is very difficult to tell, when looking only at the exterior of a person, what's going on inside. Daily Om
Do You Compare Yourself to Others and Why?
I read somewhere that comparing ourselves to others is a form of violence. It seemed quite harsh and extreme at the time when I read it, I laughed actually. Like how can comparing myself to another be inflicting violence on myself?
Having thought about it some more and here is the clincher - compared myself to others, I now fully understand the reference.
When we compare ourselves to others we usually do it through what we see outwardly reflected by the other person or situation. Be it social media, television, in person. Many times we are unaware of the backstory- the challenges, triumphs, obstacles and thinking of the person. we look on and our feelings come to the fore, those of jealousy, envy, sadness, not enoughness, inadequacy sometimes even anger. Isn't that inflicting violence on ourself, not even knowing the full story. I found myself asking "How are they doing that and I cannot?, How? How? How?"
When we compare ourselves to others, we take away the time that we can spend on ourselves, honing our gifts, talents. This is valuable time that can be used to sharpen our vision and take action towards making it a reality.
When we compare ourselves to others, we can forget to be grateful for what we have as we focus on what we don't have.
Having a vision for ourselves, and taking the steps to make the vision a reality, we will naturally encounter others who we want to emulate, their actions motivate us, we are genuinely inspired. This is different to comparing. Having a vision, setting the intention and working to make it a reality is the difference. The icing on the cake is the actions of recognizing who we are, what our unique traits and gifts are, being grateful for what we have and embracing a feeling of enoughness moves us closer and closer to our authentic selves.
We are able to face ourselves, peeling back the masks, taking off the external adornments knowing that we are on our own Journey and other people are on theirs. We can meet, learn and inspire one another and celebrate the wins.
The Journey to Authenticity drops off comparing yourself to others!
Peace
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January 8, 2022
Calming My Mind Takes Consistency
Work out to calm the mind. Meditate to reset the mind. Write to structure the mind. Create to get peace of mind. Orange Book
Everything starts in the mind and thoughts become things.
When our thoughts, words and actions align there is magic. The magic begins with thinking it. So the question "what are we thinking?" is extremely relevant. If our mind is racing, if it is in control of us, our lives will reflect this. If we are thinking one thing, saying another and acting totally out of sync, it confuses the Universe and confuses You! Keep it consistent.
This is what I have learnt,
1. Meditation helps, it is a process where we can allow the thoughts to pass like waves to the shore. The challenge is when we latch on to a thought, we give it life and as the law works, it shows up in our life as a thing. Practice meditation.
2. Replace destructive thoughts when they come up using affirmations. I started off with cancel cancel, then I moved on to different affirmations to interrupt the obsessive thoughts.
3. Listen to music- create a playlist of music that motivates you, and sing it to the top of your lungs - throw in a little dance too!
4. Write down the thoughts in a journal - get it out of your head. No judgement, No ego.
5. Love yourself through it all.
Peace
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January 7, 2022
We create our reality with our Intentions
We create our reality with our intentions — whether or not we are aware of what they are. Gary Zukav
Iyanla Vanzant defines Intent as the state of unstated expectation. The cause of all results. The subconscious motivation of all action.
What struck me most about this definition is the cause of all results. If our intent causes our results and we don't pay attention to what our intentions are, this would be reflected in our lives.
What is your deepest intent? Your expectation that you have not stated out loud, as you navigate this journey called life?
My deepest intent is to live a full life that is full of love, abundance, discipline and laughter. How that looks on a daily business I have no clue, all I know is I am showing up with the intent of living in this way in every thing that I do.
Peace
January 6, 2022
Keeping it Real
Keeping it Real - Not being fake or influenced. Being true to yourself and your values, but more importantly, being true to innate values that all people acknowledge as respectable. Not frontin, or inhibiting yourself or pretending to be something your not; but also not following dominant values that should not be acceptable. The Urban Dictionary
Growing up, my friends and I would play a game called "When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong" We would enact these skits where we would show up real saying what is on our mind, no hold bards and pretend that what we said goes wrong with sound effects and consequences. We would laugh our faces off.
Fast forward to the present , I am now well aware that keeping it real can only go wrong in our heads. We tell ourselves the stories of doom and gloom, what could go wrong, how we can prove the other person wrong or justify our actions. Keeping it real, according to the definition above, keeps us on the path to living an authentic life. Living an authentic life is where our power resides.
Have you ever had to do something challenging like have an uncomfortable conversation or end a relationship and you rehearse in your head what will and must happen leading to you making up elaborate stories in your head? I have done this many times and every time, the story is more dramatic and more difficult that the reality when I actually work up the courage to finally do it.
Why not tell ourselves a different story if we want to make up stories as we approach these uncomfortable situations?
Be aware of the stories that you tell yourself. As Byron Katie says ask yourself are the stories you make up true, is it really true? And are they sending you into an imaginary worry or panic?
Keeping it real may be challenging at times however it is nothing in comparison to keeping it unreal!
Peace
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January 5, 2022
Authentic Choices
Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen. Brene Brown
Authentic choices becomes easier when you know and accept all of you. All parts of yourself. Acceptance may not mean liking it, it may just mean that you will not judge, criticise or hide those parts of yourself in shame and hurt.
There are parts of us that we reject because of reasons such as our parents and families believe that it will not support us in our growth and development. For example, our parents wants us to have a different career path to the one we know we want.
We make inauthentic choices when we believe that society may reject the choice and make life difficult for us. To avoid the discomfort and challenges, we conform, we hide, we dim our light. Eventually it catches up with us and our lives reflect these choices.
Choices to fit in that go against who we are, reflect an inauthentic decision.
How do we find our way back to our authenticity?
1, Know who you are - know yourself without attachments, titles and external validation.
2. Accept all parts of you.
3. Practice showing up real.
4. Love yourself.
5. Stop pretending you are something that you are not.
6. Tell yourself the truth.
7. Forgive Yourself
8. Spend time alone
Peace
January 4, 2022
How do you define Authenticity?
Each and every person comes into this life as a unique expression of Source consciousness. This means each person comes in with a unique essence, like an energetic signature. We come in with a unique purpose, along with unique thoughts, feelings, desires and needs. All this and our role within the greater universe is embedded in our essence. Teal Swan
Authenticity is a word that is used quite often especially for those on a Journey to Self.
My definition of authenticity is being true to one's self, showing up knowing that there is never a need to prove one's self to anyone, to justify your decisions especially when the guidance given is from Source, from intuition. Authenticity is being courageous particularly when living in this world where being different is not celebrated.
Human beings want to be liked, to be celebrated. As children, we are rewarded for being "good" and so we take this into adulthood. Many times we ignore, deny or hide our unique selves to be accepted and liked. Authenticity is living with knowing that our unique selves is a gift.
So.... being authentic requires knowing who we are, accepting our shadow side, letting go of self judgement and being courageous and consistent.
People around us look to mould us into what they believe is best for us, what the world will accept, many times in love. Sometimes this is done in love, to protect us. This is when being authentic requires courage. We have to go against what others see as best for us and follow our unique path.
We also show the side of us that we believe people will love and accept. The rest we keep hidden. This is not always a true representation of our personalities.
Living an authentic life means showing up accepting all sides of self, being mindful that you are not performing, proving, hiding, hating.
Living an authentic life means not changing your personality to be liked.
Living an authentic life means knowing yourself.
Peace
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January 3, 2022
A New Cycle Called A Year
"you deserve to bloom unapologetically this year" Dead Poet
Hello my friends, blessings and more blessings for 2022, this new cycle called a year. I have been travelling over the past ten days, taking the time to refresh and renew. I love this season, the days are shorter, the evenings are longer, depending on where I go, the pace of life slows down. I take the opportunity to count the blessings and the lessons which unfolded during the year and prepare for the upcoming cycle. I decide on how I want to live, how I want to feel, how I want to show up. These feelings inform how I act, how I be!
New beginnings are a time to reset, to dream, to commit to yourself. They really provide an opportunity to see how we are contributing to this wondrous universe, using the unique gifts to which we have been given. When we forget, neglect, dishonour and ignore the gifts and divine guidance, life reflects this back to us, we continue to struggle and wonder why.
Then we start making justifications for our choices. Life continues to reflect back to us through our health, our aches and pains.
Life is really a wonderful mirror, becoming self aware with no judgement provides us with all the answers.
My friends, I want to thank you for the support, the eyes, the comments during 2021, it has been a year of transformation, change, uncertainty and lessons for all of us, showing us, yet again, that we are all connected by the air that we breathe.
Cheers to 2022.
Peace
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December 20, 2021
My favourite Definition of Grace
"Grace is always a gift. It cannot be summoned, seduced, cajoled or earned; only embraced, only received.
We can be allies and agents of grace in the simplest of ways. By the quality of care and attention we bring to our everyday encounters. By nurturing our own bodies and hearts, tending to those in our sphere, extending welcome and hospitality to the human and non-human world alike. Touching everything our hands encounter with love, with respect, with appreciation. Building, in ourselves, in our homes and in our businesses, the qualities of the world in which we want to live.
Grace lives in the heart of our humanity. We don’t need to zoom out to the rim of the cosmos to find it – it’s right here, in you, in me, in the way we live our everyday lives.
Grace lives in choosing to love every part of you, especially the parts of which you are embarrassed or ashamed; the parts you have banished to the underlands of your life. Grace lives in the act of pouring the honey of mercy into the bitter tea of judgment. It is the clear light of truth that disperses the fog of confusion and dissembling. Grace is the intimacy that reaches out to comfort the child having a meltdown in the grocery store aisle and the parent at the end of their tether trying to cope with the epic tantrum of the day.
Grace enters when you choose not to honk at the SUV that cuts in front of you, forcing you to slam on your brakes, heart racing. Grace is the act of cleaning up your mess before you go to bed at night, so the space around you can rest in beauty and peace too.
Grace harmonizes your life with the rhythms and cycles that weave the tapestry of day and night, the phases of the moon and the seasons of the year.
Like all soul qualities, grace is both vastly complex and ultimately simple. The Deva of Grace offers its companionship and its prodigious gifts, quietly, without insistence. All you need to do is recognize it, welcome it, and embrace it. Your friendship with it will call forth the grace that lives in you; it will alchemize your life so you become the arms and heart and cradling lap of grace.
Take a walk with the Deva of Grace this week. Invite it to accompany you as you move through your days towards the end of this year. Get to know it. Let it get to know you.
Invite it into your moments of quiet contemplation, joyful celebration — and into your thorniest, most complex challenges. Notice what happens when you meet the challenge of crafting a new direction in your business where the outcome is uncertain – one that carries the potential for great risk or great reward – with the spirit of grace by your side. When you’re facing a difficult but essential conversation with a team member or client; or a recurring argument with a family member.
What happens when the spirit of grace accompanies you, and generates the field in which these challenges are held?
Let go of attachment to any particular outcome; relinquish your assumptions about how the Deva of Grace will show up. Like all Devas, it serves a wholeness whose beauty and vastness you can barely comprehend.
Stay open, receptive, and curious.
Surrender walks in the footsteps of grace.
What emerges in your life when you befriend the Deva of Grace?
In this season of excess, let grace infuse your choices and actions. Let grace inform your being and becoming.
May you know the joy of being the companion, ally, and partner of grace today."Hiro BogaDecember 18, 2021
New Beginnings
Every new beginning you've experienced has led you to the person you are today. Rachel Astor
New beginnings can be exciting, particularly when it is a personal choice to start over, to begin again.
New beginnings provide an opportunity to make a fresh start, forge a new path.
How do you perceive new beginnings?
Life is impersonal. When the end of a relationship, job, situation or whatever it is has been reached, life will simply give us cues. We may feel a certain heaviness, our feelings become less joyful, our intuition tells us to take the next best new path.
Many times when we ignore life's cues and force to remain where we are, this is the genesis of suffering.
New beginnings does not mean giving up, it may mean surrendering to the notion that there is something different out there for you to do.
New beginnings can build character, it allows us to see how much progress we have made and how much progress we still have to make,
Change is happening all around us, especially now, our challenge is to embrace new beginnings with faith, hope and self belief.
Peace
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December 16, 2021
The Duality of Self
Self-acceptance has been the greatest gift I have ever given myself. In it, I have found peace amongst the chaos within me. Because of it, I can permit others to be more of themselves too. Stacy Herrera
I am naturally open to listen, but insanely private.
I crave intimate moments, but I find intimate acts can sometimes be intimidating.
Sometimes I avoid eye contact because I want to remain invisible as much as I want to be seen. An then... Anonymity, I have learnt, triggers me.
Connection and solitude is high on my list of priorities . Reading is one my favorite things to do , mainly because that is the only activity that allows me to do both simultaneously.
Some days I wake up with my heart overflowing with gratitude and excitement. And other days, I struggle to wake up because I feel anxious and imposter syndrome takes over.
I am inspired by people with lots of genuine friends, I feel also that it may include some serious work.
A few friends will do just fine for me. Especially when they accept me for the choices that I make, and are open to sharing open and authentic feedback minus judgement and projection. I refuse to read minds.
All this duality can be confusing, even to me.
My optimism is consistent. The perpetual half-full glass never empties, even on days when the proverbial shit hits the fan. I fall and get back up, with the occasional lag. I see opportunity in disappointment. And I am convinced that I can do it my way, even when my way is not working.
Yes, I follow my intuition and to some that means that I come across as stubborn.
Self Acceptance leads to recognizing that choices are not always linear, or one way. This helps in me leaving out the judgement of self when making decisions. All of you, every part of our existence has meaning and lessons, when we ignore and judge we lose the gifts and the lessons.
We are constantly changing, it would be futile to resist it.
Peace
(Inspired by Stacey Herrera)
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