Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 199

You never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge.

“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.” 
― Nayyirah Waheed


There really is never any reason to settle..... for anything.
There is really never a reason to bargain and convince anyone by your  words or actions that you are worthy.
There is never any reason whatsoever to negotiate or hustle to prove you are worth it.
There is no reason for you to show anyone that you are "the one".
There really never is a reason to pretend, be fake, hide behind masks to get what you want.
There is never any reason to feel guilty about being making choices for your highest good.
There is no good reason to hold on tight until it hurts.
There is never any reason at all for you to doubt your magnificence.
There is never any reason to not show up and shine because you are afraid of what people will say or think.
There is never any reason to make decisions in fear or over analyse anything to death, trust your gut feeling then move.

There is never any good reason to do things to please your parents and your sisters or brothers when it is slowly or quickly killing or depleting you,never!
There is never any reason to boast and brag to make yourself feel goodnor is there any reason whatsoever to pull people down.
You were born with your own road map, your own gifts, your own power, your own provisions, you,  yes you, there is no one else in this whole planet that is you, and that is your power.Plug in to itFlip the switchTurn it onLet's go!
You alone are enough. Believe that!Peace

Go there with your full heart and soul

We choose to grow by letting go of what’s no longer working. Sometimes this requires some mourning. Go there with your full heart and soul. Danielle La Porte

I had the extreme honor and privilege to be invited to be the key note speaker to launch the 70th anniversary celebrations of the Federation of Women's Inc on Saturday. This is the oldest women's organisation in the country! 70 years old is no mean feat! 
The wisdom and love in that event was off the chain, and one of the founding members was there on the day. The both of us sat chatting on the growth, changes and lessons she and the organisation went through over it's life. She told me that it started when some women had to sneak out of their houses to meet and sometimes they would have to meet in secret. Now today, they have three properties, including an early childhood learning center and women all over the country have the right and freedom to go to any type of meeting they choose! I for one, will never take this for granted, knowing how far we have come and those who paved the path for me to do what I do! Let me never take this for granted, let me be a statement of what someone fought and worked for, let me honor my ancestors with my decisions and actions!And what I learnt also on Saturday is making this far comes with letting go of what is no longer working, what is weighing you down and take some time to feel how that feel, do not bury it, take some time then move on! There are some things, people and thoughts that cannot go on the journey with you if you want to move ahead, make peace with that and move merrily along! We love to hold on, to be sentimental. There is a time and place for that, when it no longer serves you, it's brutally honest, wasting time and blocking your blessings!
Thank you to the Federation for paving the pathAnd truly I am left in awe of how every damn day before this one is responsible for the ground that I now stand onPeace

Your existence should be enough

When you fall in love, let it be with a person who asks nothing of you. Your existence should be enough. If they do not kiss you urgently and often, find someone who understands that lips in the presence of love should ignite passion. (Natalie Patterson,brilliant poet)


Excerpt from What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love


It just felt right at the time! I met him and I immediately felt so safe! I had this feeling that he would always protect me, that he would always be there for me, put me first no matter what.
I never felt that way before at any time in my life, Anything I asked was ok, and anything I asked for he would find a way to either do it or support me in doing it. I started second guessing myself, is this real, can this be true! It seems that this guy is really the one!And when I say anything it really was anything, washing my hair, going out to find watermelon for me at ungodly hours on a bike and riding miles to bring it back- on his back! Going with me to art galleries and seeing David Rudder shows when that was “old people thing” This must be love!I was giddy yet terrified that it would come to a crashing halt when he realized that I was overweight and had no experience, or that my family was somewhat unconventional. But no, he kept coming back and coming back and coming back.Then the whispers from within started after a few years, asking me “is feeling safe enough, is being romanced enough?”
“Of course it is! What else is there but feeling safe and loved?”“What about you?” yeah what about me? Are you honoring yourself?I don’t know what you mean and please be quiet, I am working the Plan.And the voice stayed quiet for a while; it let me work the Plan. Funny thing I have learnt is that the Universe doesn’t censor, it just responds.
I was at home, just after Jay moved out, we were supposed to meet at 6 pm to “talk about transitioning the move back and starting over”, it is now 7.30 pm and I was blowing up his phone! I called about fifteen times, left loving messages at first then I started getting desperate and started leaving desperate messages. Still no response, let me try sending a text then, sent about 12! The voice returned. Get in the car and drive to his mother’s house right now. Huh? It’s late and I don’t drive in the night! Part of the whole me feeling protected scene was that he drove at night, never let me drive in the night because he wanted his babes to be safe!I will wait until tomorrow. The whisper became a scream, just get in the car and drive, you are safe!
I got into the car and drove the 40 minutes to his mother’s house. She came outside, I asked for him, she looked very uncomfortable, told me he’s not here she hasn’t seen him all day. I went inside and the voice said go into the room where he would normally stayI went into the room, no evidence of him ever being there! I went to the bathroom, nothing! I asked if I could wait as its late and it’s important, she said sure, wait in the car!In the car? What? I wanted to cry! Ok I will wait in the carI got in the car, the voice said, now you know he doesn’t stay here just go home! What?Go home!No I will wait!I waited an hour, it was now very late and I had to prepare for work tomorrow. I drove back home and drove back to the house being broken into! It was then that I noticed a message from the neighbor that the alarm was going off. I was so preoccupied with all the other action happening that I didn’t even notice or hear my phone going off. The door was open, the computer’s gone and a small amount of jewelry.Talk to me now I shouted, talk I’m listening what does this mean? Talk! Talk!! I screaming I was  hysterical! I decided to stay quiet as no one knows that Jay has moved out , no one knows that I am living alone except Jay and his mother! Or so I have convinced myself to believe. I call him, no answer, I left a message in my state of hysteria.
I called his mother, she answered, I explain what happened, "I will tell him  the next time I speak with him." I am pissed off, I want him to be so wrong, I want her to understand that I am hurting; I mean he has always been there to protect me. Why was she being this way?
The voice, now back to a whisper says to me call Leslie in the morning, tell her what happened, secure the house, you now live alone and will be for a long time! You will be fine! Honour yourself! 
What does honour myself mean? This is Plan A! Honour what? What?I got up off the floor and called Leslie, she assisted me in getting the place secured, she offered to stay over, I said no its ok I am fine. She told me to go to the police and make a report, she called Jay told him what happened and then she said you will be fine, I am leaving the country for a while.
He sends me a text message“Kous there is nothing you try will get me to come over there tonight, can’t you just understand and let me do things my way? I don’t believe you and stop the drama!" 

We came to fulfill our potential

We did not come to planet earth to meet our mother's expectations or our father's or our spouse's.  Ruth Clothworthy
Who's life are you living? Who's dream are you fulfilling? Who's vision is unfolding in front of your eyes? By now I know that nothing is random or coincidence. One of my friends came to visit from the UK, she mentioned that she wanted me to go with her to visit a family friend. We drove for about an hour and a half and got to the place, one giant of a man appeared at the gate, my friend whispered to me have you seen the size of his hands and feet? I took a peep, turned to her and said his palms must be bigger than my face! We immediately started calling him BL, short for big limbs!He asked me while I was in Manchester what was I doing, I told him that I was studying. He said why did you choose to study is it for you or are you living someone else's dream? I thought this was a weird question! I told him I wanted to! He said that's great, go brave and promise me that you will not study just to become and intellectual international ass! I thought this is going to be an interesting visit!And then he said something in between all the talk that resonated "the reason it is called your life is because you alone can live it, when you live your life for someone else you give it away, and then you give away your power, joy and can have little reasons to be blaming other people and acting an ass." I realized he liked that word!Why are you doing the things you are doing? Are you living up to some one else's standards? Are you doing it out of a sense of guilt and obligation? Examine that for a moment because maybe just maybe you may need to make some different choices and take back our power.
Peace!

Visualize a positive outcome

What are you worried about today? Why?
Rather than worry about it, would it not be
a better use of your mental time to visualize
a positive outcome? Use your mind in this way today
and you will have tapped one of the most
extraordinary tools God has placed in your hand
for the creation of your tomorrows. Neale Donald Walsh


Have you ever blanked out when it mattered? Have you ever been in a position where you were doing something and you froze, stalled, the lights went out? That was me yesterday in a room full of people making a presentation to people from as far as New Zealand. I blanked out, forgot what I wanted to say! I stood on the stage and looked out and thought OMG! OMG OMG! 
Ok love, stay calm, say something, anything! A few seconds passed that felt like eternity and the words  started flowing again. When I was finished the Master of Ceremonies said, I really liked your presentation. I thought to myself if only you knew my brother, if only you knew!!When I got off the stage I an apology to make, for calling the wrong name of the organisation that was responsible for me being up thereSo you know me by now, always looking for the lesson!I realized that I haven't done a power point presentation in ages, it is no longer a main part of my delivery on the road, I also realize that the nerves still flare up no matter what and most of all I learnt that I can recover from a "fall" quickly! How many of us "fall" and stay there, as Lisa Nicols would say "take out real estate" and talk about it over and over again without realizing that it is something to pay attention to rather than keep! Life is like that, shit happens and then what?You can't beat yourself up, well you can but what good will that do? 
The truth is that there are many positive ways to deal with a negative situation, and experiencing your negative feelings doesn’t have to constitute a negative experience. Denying your feelings is not only unhealthy for the mind and the body, but it may also rob you of valuable information you could be learning about yourself and your life.Peace!

Let the vision come forward

Let the vision come forward. Let the idea lead. Let the goals find themselves in conversation. Let the personal writing be viewed. When you get the urge to do something nice, act. When the inspiration to create sparks, create immediately . Maxie McCoy

Les Brown, the renowned motivational speaker, always says " the place with the most ideas, goals and dreams is the cemetery as more people go to their grave with them rather than act them out. When I first heard it I laughed, I thought, maybe just maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration but as I meet more and more people I am not laughing anymore. 
The dream and gifts downloaded into you specifically, what are you doing with it? 
This may just be something to bring you joy, to give you a boost, this may not be the nobel peace prize winner or hitting  the jackpot! It may just be something that puts a smile on your face. That makes you happy. Are your fears, your friends or so called friends' response to it, or whatever excuses made in fear more powerful and important than that?

Your gifts are the gateway to your greatness, and let's put that into context. Greatness is for me just your highest best self. Your gifts, lead you to that place of joy, peace, happiness and that can only be a good thing for you, the people around you, heck the world
And you say you don't have time?

If you don't know what your gifts are, make time to find out. If you do, use it, and walk through that gate, your greatness is waiting on the other side!
Peace!

Being prepared is an act of kindness and intelligence

We never arrive at a place knowing it all. For as long as we are alive we are challenged to grow, learn evolve and mature. Love is a decision is a destination, you must choose to walk in it live in it and become it. Rob Hill SrYesterday I was asked to spend  day with 25 young people, fifteen years of age as part of a programme called "The Winner Within" - This  programme developed for youths from the so called marginalized areas  who have challenges in functioning in society according to the status quo definition. Yesterday the aim was to chat about self-esteem, confidence and living authentically. I must admit that this is the most challenging gig that I have done this year.

Why? I was unprepared.
What  do I mean  by unprepared? I have not been on the ground working with young people on the margins of the society, I stopped doing that a while back for reasons such as having a different focus. Unprepared meaning leaving love out of the equation at the start of the session. Unprepared meaning using a one size fit all session yesterday. Unprepared meaning that I was impatient and wanted them to sit be quiet, listen and ask questions. And what they did was the complete opposite. The challenged me, they took me out of my comfort zone and forced me to see them as they are, their authentic selves.

I learnt  yesterday that being prepared is an act of kindness and intelligence. I  learnt that I had to switch the plan immediately! Flip the switch. Work with love and kindness and firmness and flexibility and openness. I learnt that I must walk with those tools to every gig.

The participants were brilliant, they were open to sharing, they were being themselves and doing what they have learnt, looking for attention and love by any means they think they will get it. They showed up as themselves.

I must admit that I thought what are we doing?  what are we teaching our young people by example? In the end I decided to take the opportunity to do what I can with what I have to the best of my ability and leave the rest! and get prepared, super fast!
Peace

Get out of your own way

Arrogance is a killer and wearing ambition on one's sleeve can have the same effect. There is a fine line between arrogance and self-confidence. Jack Welch 
Sometimes, you are the one preventing yourself from moving forward and achieving your goals. Yea I said it! That's a tough one to hear right? Yea it's tough I know it, I've been told this and I resisted but  now I'm a believer.



Get out of your own way!Stop denying your feelings, feel it, feel it all.

Get out of your own way!Stop being defensive and acting like you know everything, you don't if you did  you won't be here on this earth in this form at this very moment. 

Get out of your own way!Stop the lying to yourself and to others. What is the truth that you are not telling to yourself?

Get out of your own way!Deal with your pain and your issues in a healthy and productive way. Stop being one of the world's walking wounded.

Get out of your way!Eat well and exercise.

Get out of your own way!Stop numbing yourself with alcohol, drugs, and other mind numbing substances because you prefer not to deal with reality, face the truth and avoid pain.

Get out of your own way!Stop trying to manipulate situations that you cannot control and control people, and situations that are out of your control.

Get out of your own way!Listen sometimes, rather than talk talk talk. 

Get out of your own way!Stop beating up on yourself for things you think you "should" be doing, you "haven't done yet" or what people tell you that you ought to be doing.

Get out of your own way!
Believe in yourself, stop second guessing your intuition, gift and abilities.

Get out of your own way!Stop making excuses for people's bad behavior and lies, especially if you don't want to be alone or feel you will not "find someone better" or even more crazy "have no friends".

Get out of your own way!
Stop settling for mediocrity and people in your lives who are not supposed to be in your life (you know very well what I am talking about).

Get out of your own way!Pray and have faith.

Get out of your own way!Stop hanging out with people whose season is over in your life and on your journey.You know the ones.

Get out of your own way!Be authentic.

Get out of your own way!Keep an open mind and know that you are always being guided,  drop the ego tripping and decisions made from fear and ego for just a minute.

Get out of your own way!You cannot fail, you just can't.

Peace!!

So speak your truth, but soothe your words with peace

It has been said that "the truth hurts," but the exact opposite is true. No truth is too hurtful, and no lie is harmless. Because every truth opens your heart to another, and every lie separates it.  Yet know this: The way you say your truth can be hurtful.
So speak your truth, but soothe your words with peace.
Right now Neale Donald Walsh
Have you ever had a conversation with someone that after that conversation you felt like a truck ran over you? Like you were flattened by a steam roller? You know what they are saying is true but the deliver, oh the delivery, was oh so extremely brutal! When I see the truck coming or the bulldozer I tend to run. Yes, I said it, I run and I run fast, in the opposite direction! I've now learnt to slow down and back up because there is valuable information in there and the person delivering it is most times crying out to be heard! So how do you deliver "the truth" do you drive in with the big truck or do you take the approach of serving it with honey? Either way it is being delivered and that maybe is your role, the delivery. I think there are some people like me who will run when they see the truck coming, but if you can control the ego long enough to hear what is being said you may realize that people usually say to you the same things you silently say to yourself. And that's a message to you, how do you speak to yourself because that my friends sets the tone on how people approach you. Pay attention, this may be of use, then start speaking to yourself differently, set some boundaries and know that the truth is always valuable information.PeacePeace

It has been said that "the truth hurts," but the exact&nb...

It has been said that "the truth hurts," but the exact opposite is true. No truth is too hurtful, and no lie is harmless. Because every truth opens your heart to another, and every lie separates it.  Yet know this: The way you say your truth can be hurtful.
So speak your truth, but soothe your words with peace.
Right now Neale Donald Walsh
Have you ever had a conversation with someone that after that conversation you felt like a truck ran over you? Like you were flattened by a steam roller? You know what they are saying is true but the deliver, oh the delivery, was oh so extremely brutal! When I see the truck coming or the bulldozer I tend to run. Yes, I said it, I run and I run fast, in the opposite direction! I've now learnt to slow down and back up because there is valuable information in there and the person delivering it is most times crying out to be heard! So how do you deliver "the truth" do you drive in with the big truck or do you take the approach of serving it with honey? Either way it is being delivered and that maybe is your role, the delivery. I think there are some people like me who will run when they see the truck coming, but if you can control the ego long enough to hear what is being said you may realize that people usually say to you the same things you silently say to yourself. And that's a message to you, how do you speak to yourself because that my friends sets the tone on how people approach you. Pay attention, this may be of use, then start speaking to yourself differently, set some boundaries and know that the truth is always valuable information.PeacePeace