Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 201
June 22, 2015
Am I giving love or am I simply afraid to leave
If we believe that our happiness lies in another person's behavior, we are going to be sorely disappointed. There is not a human being on this planet that can make you or me happy. If they could, we would be their slave because we would have also given them the power to withdraw our happiness at any moment. Relationships are a learning experience. Our goal is to have harmonious and loving relationships with ourselves. Ruth Clotworthy
We had lunch at one of "our" favorite spots. They knew us as a young ambitious couple, when we walked in the spot hugs and kisses passed with the hosts, they knew the table we liked, it was made ready.
We came in separate cars, why? because we were separated, living separate lives yet pretending that we were still the married happy loving ambitious couple. As we sat down, my insides were churning, is this the day my happiness returns?
We sat and talked about the past, how we are a team and we can do anything together, totally side stepping the elephant in the room! That he was living with someone else and that I was so unconscious and in denial of myself and my worth that I was willing to forgive and forget it all just to "have my happiness back!"
He told me that he was moving back later on that day, that today is the day.
Yes, happiness has returned, I was happy, I am happy, yet why does my tummy hurt so much? I am happy right? Am I not supposed to feel better? I decided that the feelings were unimportant, happiness will be returned today.Fast forward to the night, no sign of him, then a text came " I am never coming back, good bye" I walked to the bottom of my hill feeling helpless and in a daze! My happiness is gone. What do I do now? I stood at the bottom of the hill for about an hour, what else is there to do at this moment? Is there anything else to make me happy? I thought it was impossible.It took some time to get to the point of realizing and owning that I had indeed outsource my happiness and it is my responsibility to create and live the life that I want, to do things that make me happy. Blame and projection is easy, its easy to say someone else should do
Allow me to accept that blame diminishes me, and puts out my spark and hands by power over to another
So here is my lesson:
As easy as it is to blame someone else, to try to ignore what you feel, to call your pain a sacrifice for love, you are not being loving or wise to do so.
Eventually you will be held responsible for everything you experience and how you have responded to it.
Love does not ask us to lose ourselves, harm ourselves or sacrifice ourselves for its sake.
Love offers itself to us, measure for measure what we offer it
If you are being dishonored and disrespected for the love you give, you must ask yourself "Am I really giving love, or am I simply afraid to leave?
I now do something every single day that makes me happy and have topped outsourcing my happiness!
Peace!
We had lunch at one of "our" favorite spots. They knew us as a young ambitious couple, when we walked in the spot hugs and kisses passed with the hosts, they knew the table we liked, it was made ready.
We came in separate cars, why? because we were separated, living separate lives yet pretending that we were still the married happy loving ambitious couple. As we sat down, my insides were churning, is this the day my happiness returns?
We sat and talked about the past, how we are a team and we can do anything together, totally side stepping the elephant in the room! That he was living with someone else and that I was so unconscious and in denial of myself and my worth that I was willing to forgive and forget it all just to "have my happiness back!"
He told me that he was moving back later on that day, that today is the day.
Yes, happiness has returned, I was happy, I am happy, yet why does my tummy hurt so much? I am happy right? Am I not supposed to feel better? I decided that the feelings were unimportant, happiness will be returned today.Fast forward to the night, no sign of him, then a text came " I am never coming back, good bye" I walked to the bottom of my hill feeling helpless and in a daze! My happiness is gone. What do I do now? I stood at the bottom of the hill for about an hour, what else is there to do at this moment? Is there anything else to make me happy? I thought it was impossible.It took some time to get to the point of realizing and owning that I had indeed outsource my happiness and it is my responsibility to create and live the life that I want, to do things that make me happy. Blame and projection is easy, its easy to say someone else should do
Allow me to accept that blame diminishes me, and puts out my spark and hands by power over to another
So here is my lesson:
As easy as it is to blame someone else, to try to ignore what you feel, to call your pain a sacrifice for love, you are not being loving or wise to do so.
Eventually you will be held responsible for everything you experience and how you have responded to it.
Love does not ask us to lose ourselves, harm ourselves or sacrifice ourselves for its sake.
Love offers itself to us, measure for measure what we offer it
If you are being dishonored and disrespected for the love you give, you must ask yourself "Am I really giving love, or am I simply afraid to leave?
I now do something every single day that makes me happy and have topped outsourcing my happiness!
Peace!
June 20, 2015
No more thinking, action time..
Are you afraid to face the darkness of something new?
Do you want to know everything right now and be able to see what is before you?
Well just imagine if the Creator had waited for a model to shape the world. Who? What? Where would you be today?
When facing something new surrender the desire to be in control, have faith. (from the book Acts of Faith)
The passage above, I read that this morning, I was sitting outside on my porch eating a mango and reading and randomly (ok ok not random, there is no random!!) let me rephrase, I did not specifically chose this to read out of logic. I picked up the book and opened it and there it was. Exactly what I needed to read at this point.
Why?
I have been thinking, well overthinking really about a launching a service and it's been beating me up! no amount of boxing training has been helping me to win this fight.
I want to know
I want to know
I want to know
how will it be?
Will it work?
Will I work it out?
well let me declare, today I have decided. My life coaching service will be launched. Come October 2015, look out for it, have faith, surrender, let go, and shine...
stay tuned....
Do you want to know everything right now and be able to see what is before you?
Well just imagine if the Creator had waited for a model to shape the world. Who? What? Where would you be today?
When facing something new surrender the desire to be in control, have faith. (from the book Acts of Faith)
The passage above, I read that this morning, I was sitting outside on my porch eating a mango and reading and randomly (ok ok not random, there is no random!!) let me rephrase, I did not specifically chose this to read out of logic. I picked up the book and opened it and there it was. Exactly what I needed to read at this point.
Why?
I have been thinking, well overthinking really about a launching a service and it's been beating me up! no amount of boxing training has been helping me to win this fight.
I want to know
I want to know
I want to know
how will it be?
Will it work?
Will I work it out?
well let me declare, today I have decided. My life coaching service will be launched. Come October 2015, look out for it, have faith, surrender, let go, and shine...
stay tuned....
June 19, 2015
Power Up..
For all the times you were quiet about deception and disrespect, quiet about the life force that was being syphoned from your generous nature. Speak your power into fullness. …
I call all of my power back to me now. I am whole and complete.
Danielle La Porte
Power- what does that mean to you?The word is bandied about a whole lot, power trip, power struggle, power cut, power hungry and many of the add on's have an edge to it that suggests a fight or a battle.
Power for me is personal, yea I said it, I have my own personal power, I was born with it! and so were you! Each and every one of us. Some choose to use it and some choose not to, some are unaware that they have it and some just don't give a damn.
My personal power is how I am willing to be, what I am willing to do to preserve and enhance my dignity, self esteem and integrity! I learnt that working in Uganda! Some might say that I learnt it a tad bit too late! but I digress
Personal power - It is my ability and capacity to direct the energy of my life in a positive way in order to create and experience all that I desire.
No fighting, no battling, no struggle just a level of self belief, authenticity and courage! Yea sometimes it gets tough and I forget and act from a different space and then the Universe sends me a message. If I pay attention I get back on track as quickly as I can when I don't well the message comes in a way that I must pay attention, unfortunately that may be pain or a challenging situation!
So as Danielle says, when you are in the shit storm, call your power back, you are whole and complete.
Peace
Power- what does that mean to you?The word is bandied about a whole lot, power trip, power struggle, power cut, power hungry and many of the add on's have an edge to it that suggests a fight or a battle.
Power for me is personal, yea I said it, I have my own personal power, I was born with it! and so were you! Each and every one of us. Some choose to use it and some choose not to, some are unaware that they have it and some just don't give a damn.
My personal power is how I am willing to be, what I am willing to do to preserve and enhance my dignity, self esteem and integrity! I learnt that working in Uganda! Some might say that I learnt it a tad bit too late! but I digress
Personal power - It is my ability and capacity to direct the energy of my life in a positive way in order to create and experience all that I desire.
No fighting, no battling, no struggle just a level of self belief, authenticity and courage! Yea sometimes it gets tough and I forget and act from a different space and then the Universe sends me a message. If I pay attention I get back on track as quickly as I can when I don't well the message comes in a way that I must pay attention, unfortunately that may be pain or a challenging situation!
So as Danielle says, when you are in the shit storm, call your power back, you are whole and complete.
Peace
June 18, 2015
My top ten lessons on the Journey thus far..
You know how to do it, too. And your intellect may be the last thing to catch on. Have faith. Have courage. Keep breathing. And simply know that you’re programmed for new beginnings. Dr Christianne Northrup
Over the past couple of weeks a number of people have asked me what are my top lessons on the journey. As I was driving home today from running an errand for my grandmother I thought about it, the top lessons. Having conversations with the elders somehow triggers these thoughts, I was chatting about my grand mum about giving and receiving and she told me that I must work on learning how to receive, it does not show that you are weak. So my thoughts ran onto what's my top ten lessons thus far
1. This too shall pass- nothing lasts forever, absolutely nothing and no-thing!
2. Do not take anything personally - most times it is not about you at all, people do what they do and you have no control over it, you only have control over you and your response
3. Be grateful - be grateful for everything, there is always something to be grateful for
4. Have a vision for your life - write it out, imagine it, feel it, allow it to grow
5. Show up as yourself and shine, shine your light no matter what
6. The Universe uses everything - every.single.thing! what you think is useless isn't. Even manure has a use!
7. Feel it. Feel it all - feel every feeling- do not stifle it, let it out!
8. Find the courage to ask the question, never assume because you may be wrong.
9. Tell the truth - about everything and Forgive yourself first and then everybody else
10. Release the excuses, all!! You have to be willing to do the things that scare you.
What are your top ten lessons so far on your own journey? Would love to hear from you.
Peace!!
Over the past couple of weeks a number of people have asked me what are my top lessons on the journey. As I was driving home today from running an errand for my grandmother I thought about it, the top lessons. Having conversations with the elders somehow triggers these thoughts, I was chatting about my grand mum about giving and receiving and she told me that I must work on learning how to receive, it does not show that you are weak. So my thoughts ran onto what's my top ten lessons thus far
1. This too shall pass- nothing lasts forever, absolutely nothing and no-thing!
2. Do not take anything personally - most times it is not about you at all, people do what they do and you have no control over it, you only have control over you and your response
3. Be grateful - be grateful for everything, there is always something to be grateful for
4. Have a vision for your life - write it out, imagine it, feel it, allow it to grow
5. Show up as yourself and shine, shine your light no matter what
6. The Universe uses everything - every.single.thing! what you think is useless isn't. Even manure has a use!
7. Feel it. Feel it all - feel every feeling- do not stifle it, let it out!
8. Find the courage to ask the question, never assume because you may be wrong.
9. Tell the truth - about everything and Forgive yourself first and then everybody else
10. Release the excuses, all!! You have to be willing to do the things that scare you.
What are your top ten lessons so far on your own journey? Would love to hear from you.
Peace!!
June 17, 2015
You are divine
You are being held accountable because you are divine!
You may have allowed yourself to believe that you are average or usual, you are not
You are divine! Iyanla Vanzant
What is your definition of success? Do you even have one? If you do what is it based on? External validation? Internal peace? I believe there is no right or wrong it depends on you and your beliefs and values, what I do believe though is that waiting for someone else to tell you that you are successful may bring some challenges, because you constantly have to prove to the external party that you are living up to their standards. You are now living by someone else's set of rules.
Setting your own high standards and living up to them brings a level of accountability to yourself that is unsurpassed! You live by your own rules.
For me, the penny dropped yesterday
there will be no more excuses, rationales and reasons for not shining!
My definition of success is grounded in truth, it is a process of accountability and responsibility to me, to the goals that I have set, to my dreams, to the truth. The most challenging thing on this path is that I will have to walk in the depths of all that I have done in order to heal it, To tell myself the truth- all the time, to accept it and to continue to shine!
Who's with me?
Come on, let's go, action time, time to shine!
Peace!
You may have allowed yourself to believe that you are average or usual, you are not
You are divine! Iyanla Vanzant
What is your definition of success? Do you even have one? If you do what is it based on? External validation? Internal peace? I believe there is no right or wrong it depends on you and your beliefs and values, what I do believe though is that waiting for someone else to tell you that you are successful may bring some challenges, because you constantly have to prove to the external party that you are living up to their standards. You are now living by someone else's set of rules.
Setting your own high standards and living up to them brings a level of accountability to yourself that is unsurpassed! You live by your own rules.
For me, the penny dropped yesterday
there will be no more excuses, rationales and reasons for not shining!
My definition of success is grounded in truth, it is a process of accountability and responsibility to me, to the goals that I have set, to my dreams, to the truth. The most challenging thing on this path is that I will have to walk in the depths of all that I have done in order to heal it, To tell myself the truth- all the time, to accept it and to continue to shine!
Who's with me?
Come on, let's go, action time, time to shine!
Peace!
June 16, 2015
Allow me
Our only job when the distractions come, and come they will,
is to keep a laser focus on that which we desire. We
must move toward that desire with a ferocious
love and let absolutely nothing turn us away.
Obstacles and trials will come
Who will you be in the face if it?
Candace Ifama Barnes
· Allow me to accept that sometimes I will not make the best choices and decisions and to remember I can always choose again.
· Allow me to accept that what I thought I had learned may need to circle around again until I actually understand the learning.
· Allow me to accept everything just as it is right now, even the darkness.
· Allow me to accept and release with love all that doesn’t serve me now so I can make way for the new.
· Allow me to accept that I can’t produce my work of tomorrow this day, to embrace what I know now, and remain curious and open to learning about what I don’t.Allow me to accept that I am the only one who can walk through the doors that are open and waiting for me.Allow me to accept that I may still speak before I think at times, then wish I hadn’t, allow me to own my apology and offer it when it’s necessary.Allow me to accept that I may fail, I can choose to fall hard or choose to fall with grace, I’ll be landing anyway, how I land will determine how I get back up.Allow me to accept that I am not done yet and I have a long way to go, I don’t need to know the whole journey to be on it.Allow me to accept that everything is happening in perfect Divine timing, even if I don’t fully understand what that means.Allow me to accept being happy over being rightAllow me to accept that not everyone is vegan, and when people tell me they like their meat still mooing, remind me not to judgeAllow me to accept that curiosity never killed any cat.Allow me to accept Love over Fear, always.
Thank you Dawn Moxie for the brilliant reminder that the journey continues and to cut myself some slack!Peace!
· Allow me to accept that sometimes I will not make the best choices and decisions and to remember I can always choose again.
· Allow me to accept that what I thought I had learned may need to circle around again until I actually understand the learning.
· Allow me to accept everything just as it is right now, even the darkness.
· Allow me to accept and release with love all that doesn’t serve me now so I can make way for the new.
· Allow me to accept that I can’t produce my work of tomorrow this day, to embrace what I know now, and remain curious and open to learning about what I don’t.Allow me to accept that I am the only one who can walk through the doors that are open and waiting for me.Allow me to accept that I may still speak before I think at times, then wish I hadn’t, allow me to own my apology and offer it when it’s necessary.Allow me to accept that I may fail, I can choose to fall hard or choose to fall with grace, I’ll be landing anyway, how I land will determine how I get back up.Allow me to accept that I am not done yet and I have a long way to go, I don’t need to know the whole journey to be on it.Allow me to accept that everything is happening in perfect Divine timing, even if I don’t fully understand what that means.Allow me to accept being happy over being rightAllow me to accept that not everyone is vegan, and when people tell me they like their meat still mooing, remind me not to judgeAllow me to accept that curiosity never killed any cat.Allow me to accept Love over Fear, always.
Thank you Dawn Moxie for the brilliant reminder that the journey continues and to cut myself some slack!Peace!
June 15, 2015
With everything you know what would you do?
"So this time I can apply all that I've learnt. Knowledge that I can observe with an open hand. The ancestors whisper to me, with everything you know now, what would you do differently? With everything you know, what will you do?
" Natalie Stewart (one of my fav poets)
"When you know, or when you have learnt, your behavior will change, until then, you haven't learnt nor do you know so don't tell me that you know because when you know you act like you know" I have heard this a few times on my journey and I would just smile and say "ok ok, I heard ya" Now it is making more sense to me because when you find yourself repeating the old patters, in the same circumstances over and over again and you keep saying "Yes I know I need to ......" it really signals that you seriously don't know or haven't fully grasped that hey, this behavior is not getting me to my goals, not healthy, not leading to my highest self, and so on and so forth.
So here's the thing, when I realize that I am heading down that road of doing the same crap or making the same decisions in fear, I stop immediately, just stop it, dead in my tracks and ask "With everything I know what would I do differently?" and then I move. Sometimes it works a treat and when it does I feel proud, when it does not and I fall back into the old patterns I forgive myself, stop and move on keeping the question to the forefront of my mind. No time to beat up on myself!
Can you identify with me here?
This usually happens to me in relationships, when they are not going as I want them to go, especially with guys, OMG, the question is on repeat! Loop! As we say here, my road march! I'm telling you, it's been like that! To be honest, it's the knowledge that I am enough, that I do not have to bargain with anyone to like me, that I show up as me and that is all I accept people's decisions and not try to force them to see how awesome I am, if they don't see it, that's ok, moving right along. Bless em and move on!
Pay attention, every choice gives you a chance to pave your own road, keep moving, keep learning then act like you know!
Peace!
"When you know, or when you have learnt, your behavior will change, until then, you haven't learnt nor do you know so don't tell me that you know because when you know you act like you know" I have heard this a few times on my journey and I would just smile and say "ok ok, I heard ya" Now it is making more sense to me because when you find yourself repeating the old patters, in the same circumstances over and over again and you keep saying "Yes I know I need to ......" it really signals that you seriously don't know or haven't fully grasped that hey, this behavior is not getting me to my goals, not healthy, not leading to my highest self, and so on and so forth.
So here's the thing, when I realize that I am heading down that road of doing the same crap or making the same decisions in fear, I stop immediately, just stop it, dead in my tracks and ask "With everything I know what would I do differently?" and then I move. Sometimes it works a treat and when it does I feel proud, when it does not and I fall back into the old patterns I forgive myself, stop and move on keeping the question to the forefront of my mind. No time to beat up on myself!
Can you identify with me here?
This usually happens to me in relationships, when they are not going as I want them to go, especially with guys, OMG, the question is on repeat! Loop! As we say here, my road march! I'm telling you, it's been like that! To be honest, it's the knowledge that I am enough, that I do not have to bargain with anyone to like me, that I show up as me and that is all I accept people's decisions and not try to force them to see how awesome I am, if they don't see it, that's ok, moving right along. Bless em and move on!
Pay attention, every choice gives you a chance to pave your own road, keep moving, keep learning then act like you know!
Peace!
June 13, 2015
I don't wanna hear it
Life is not going to come down there and sprinkle
glitter dust on your shoulders to let you know that you
are Good...or that you are walking the Right Path...or
that you are making the Best Decision.
Take the next step. Right now. Stop waiting for a "sign"
from the "gods." Your sign is your intuition, wrapped
in your desire. Neale Donald Walsh
Confessions on the journey. I am having a moment, allow me please? As we say around these parts "Low mih, low mih" (allow me please), I am getting a bit weary of people who come around me with excuses about why they haven't done "it yet"What else do you want again?You got the gift, downloaded directly to you, you were born with itYou got the health and strengthYou got the timeYou got the fire burning in your bellyHello, what else do you want?You are now sick and unhealthyYou are now frustratedYou are now living from paycheck to paycheckYou are now pissing off your peepsHello, what more signs do you need?Do the thing pleaseYou cannot failYou heard me?You just cannot failIf a tomato seed is planted, tomato is the crop, once watered, nurtured and nourished, it really is that simpleStop the excuses, stop it. Please!Just go do it and learn along the way, perfection is a stalling technique, and so are the excuses!And next time you see me coming and want to tell me the same ole story? I don't wanna hear it! Jus saying....Peace!
glitter dust on your shoulders to let you know that you
are Good...or that you are walking the Right Path...or
that you are making the Best Decision.
Take the next step. Right now. Stop waiting for a "sign"
from the "gods." Your sign is your intuition, wrapped
in your desire. Neale Donald Walsh
Confessions on the journey. I am having a moment, allow me please? As we say around these parts "Low mih, low mih" (allow me please), I am getting a bit weary of people who come around me with excuses about why they haven't done "it yet"What else do you want again?You got the gift, downloaded directly to you, you were born with itYou got the health and strengthYou got the timeYou got the fire burning in your bellyHello, what else do you want?You are now sick and unhealthyYou are now frustratedYou are now living from paycheck to paycheckYou are now pissing off your peepsHello, what more signs do you need?Do the thing pleaseYou cannot failYou heard me?You just cannot failIf a tomato seed is planted, tomato is the crop, once watered, nurtured and nourished, it really is that simpleStop the excuses, stop it. Please!Just go do it and learn along the way, perfection is a stalling technique, and so are the excuses!And next time you see me coming and want to tell me the same ole story? I don't wanna hear it! Jus saying....Peace!
June 12, 2015
You are priceless
While there's a time and place for self-improvement, today's focus is on every-thing that's already great about you. Let go of who you think you should be and fall madly in love with who you are in this moment. When you accept yourself exactly as you are, you shift from living for tomorrow to appreciating today
. Kris Carr
Do better
Earn more
Train harder
Make better choices
Make more money
Do more gigs
Get more qualifications
Find a partner
Eat better
Exercise more
You look like you are gaining weight
OMG a grey hair!
Pimples on my face?? What?
My belly feels big
What happened with this guy? I must find out what I must do better or what I need to improve on, why has he suddenly gone quiet and not getting in touch?
You have not cleaned the house
and on and on till the break of dawn
It's been a never ending spiral in my head, all week! Self talk and more self, the monkey mind!
So today, it is accept myself day, what's great about me is the self talk!
I suggest you do the same, speak to yourself lovingly, accept the awesomeness of who you are, and know that you are priceless!
Peace!
Do better
Earn more
Train harder
Make better choices
Make more money
Do more gigs
Get more qualifications
Find a partner
Eat better
Exercise more
You look like you are gaining weight
OMG a grey hair!
Pimples on my face?? What?
My belly feels big
What happened with this guy? I must find out what I must do better or what I need to improve on, why has he suddenly gone quiet and not getting in touch?
You have not cleaned the house
and on and on till the break of dawn
It's been a never ending spiral in my head, all week! Self talk and more self, the monkey mind!
So today, it is accept myself day, what's great about me is the self talk!
I suggest you do the same, speak to yourself lovingly, accept the awesomeness of who you are, and know that you are priceless!
Peace!
June 11, 2015
Try something new
We try something new
And if we yet to be
Try something new
Yet to be companion
Try something new
This Love
We must do this peace
Try something new
In strength
Try something new
In confidence
Try something new
In power
Try something new
Pure energy
Try something new
Pure energy
Try something new Natalie Stewart( one of my favorite poets ever!)
Coming back on the flight I'm sitting minding my own business, my ritual has always been to be completely quiet when I am flying I don't talk to a soul! I read, sleep, write or think. So many of my ideas come when I am flying. So I settle into my seat and get ready for my usual. The guy sitting next to me starts talking. Oh boy, I thought, he is going to have to shut up soon because my ritual is about to begin! The guy then starts wincing and writhing around in his seat and was looking like he was about to scream. I am thinking this is going to be an interesting journey!
Then he says I am so terrified of flying, I cannot stand it do you mind if we talk for the entire flight? Huh?
Can we talk until we touch down?
Huh?
You fly often?
Yeah
Great, So then I am in the right seat.
The man started talking and talking and talking and talking.
Okay, let me make friends with reality.Listen to the man be fully present!
When we landed, the man got back the colour in his face and told me I was an angel, and one that can fly and started laughing and got off the plane, I did not see him again!
Peace!
And if we yet to be
Try something new
Yet to be companion
Try something new
This Love
We must do this peace
Try something new
In strength
Try something new
In confidence
Try something new
In power
Try something new
Pure energy
Try something new
Pure energy
Try something new Natalie Stewart( one of my favorite poets ever!)
Coming back on the flight I'm sitting minding my own business, my ritual has always been to be completely quiet when I am flying I don't talk to a soul! I read, sleep, write or think. So many of my ideas come when I am flying. So I settle into my seat and get ready for my usual. The guy sitting next to me starts talking. Oh boy, I thought, he is going to have to shut up soon because my ritual is about to begin! The guy then starts wincing and writhing around in his seat and was looking like he was about to scream. I am thinking this is going to be an interesting journey!
Then he says I am so terrified of flying, I cannot stand it do you mind if we talk for the entire flight? Huh?
Can we talk until we touch down?
Huh?
You fly often?
Yeah
Great, So then I am in the right seat.
The man started talking and talking and talking and talking.
Okay, let me make friends with reality.Listen to the man be fully present!
When we landed, the man got back the colour in his face and told me I was an angel, and one that can fly and started laughing and got off the plane, I did not see him again!
Peace!
