Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 158

I surrender ALL

Surrender helps to heal fear filled wanting and not having Iyanla

Sharing this.... The Value in the Valley

I recently experienced a severe financial setback which caused me to question and doubt myself, as well as every good work I had ever done
I was in fear of being wrong. I could not believe that with sales of two books I could not pay my rent and  even had no aluminum foil to cover my stove burners.
Still, I made public appearances, usually praying that lunch will be served to cut down on the food bill. It was a truly humbling experience which I am surviving by learning to surrender.
The first thing you must surrender when you are a penniless public figure is your ego
You are being forced to make a decision between living your truth and living what you want others to believe about you
As black women we are indoctrinated to believe that our self-worth is attached to our net worth.
When we have money we feel valuable and worthy. We use money to buy things to support that concept. Our clothes, cars, doodads and ditties often have nothing to do with what we need. They merely support what we want others to think about us and who we are.
As our collection of "things" increases we get compliments and congrats about how well we are doing. Even when we are not doing so well, having things make us feel better. We feel worthy
When a black woman has a cash shortage, in her mind it translates to " I am not doing the right thing. I should be doing more of this" We are not willing to let others know of our plight because of the aversion we have to criticism. We let our stomachs rumble rather than ask for a meal
We feign illness and stay home rather than admit we don't have petrol or car fare
We do not want others to think or know we are faulty in anyway, so we suffer silently trying to figure it out
"Where the hell am I going to get some money?"
What we don't realize is that the criticism we want and so desperately try to avoid is born and lives within our own minds
the very things we think we say to ourselves
My first lesson was peace. What did I need to do to make peace with this situation? I had to surrender this preoccupation of what others thought about me
Next lesson - trust. Did I trust God to provide for me?
Next lesson - faith. I could not have faith without patience
Everything comes in time and on time
I had to surrender every thought, every emotion, every thing attached to the fear of not having money
Surrender requires trust
Surrender requires patience
Surrender requires obedience
Surrender requires authenticity
Surrender requires awareness and ownership
I surrender all
Peace

Not engaging in crimes against myself

The greatest service I can offer is...not engaging in crimes against myself. Iyanla VanzantYou cannot be useful to yourself, others or God if you run yourself ragged. Most of us believe that in order to be useful, helpful or in service, we must give our all, all of the time. We become YES people. We say yes when we are tired. Yes when we are busy doing other things. We say yes when we know there is no way we can take on anything else. You may believe that in order to be worthy of the love, admiration or respect of others, you must always say yes. What you may not understand is that there are times when saying yes causes you to make a necessary sacrifices.There is a passage in "A Course in Miracles" that says, "Giving of yourself to the point of sacrifice makes the other person a thief!" When you allow others to take what you need, what you have earned, what you deserve, you are making a sacrifice. When you sacrifice, you are not giving freely. Nor are you serving others when you give to your detriment. In addition, when you give to your own detriment, you become resentful. You resent yourself and you resent the one who has received. Resentment is a clear-cut path to anger and unworthiness.In order to serve others, support others, give to others, you must first be able to support and give to yourself. You must be willing to share your overflow, not your necessities. This is called self-support, self-care and self-love.Until today, you may not have realized that you have allowed others to be involved in a crime against you. You may have allowed them to support you in sacrificing yourself and believing that you were helping or serving them. Just for today, don't be a yes person! Take care of yourself. Don't give what you don't have or what you need. Be self-supporting and self-loving enough to say no.Today I am devoted to not making unnecessary sacrifices! Today I am willing to say no! ~~ Iyanla Vanzant, "Until Today"

Peace

Winding Down

Be grateful for the yes’s.  They’re there. Maybe not right now. Gratitude will bring more of them. Maxie Mc Coy
As I get ready to leave Nairobi for London, I am so grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to be here, to meet all these amazing people who are doing their best to change their lives and by extension change the world.  Change truly starts with ourselves, and taking responsibility for our actions.
I am grateful for the people who invited me into their lives either through their businesses or their homes, their cooking of meals, sharing of stories and wisdom.
I am grateful for safe journeys and angels I met along the way
for the ability to see new cultures and ways of life
for the giraffes that I touched and the monkeys that ran past me as I walked home.
I am grateful for God's grace  have and the discernment that I have all that it takes to do the things that I desire and to not be afraid, there are many people doing things that you want to do and you are not alone
I am grateful for knowing why I am here
Holla at ya on the other side
Peace

Returning Stronger Day 13

Smallness might feel better. Bigness might look better. But in between those two stages is the demand to expand. Realize what's going on and always push to be the biggest and best version of yourself that you can possibly be.
I met with a colleague today who won a start up competition in Nigeria which allowed them to go to Silicon Valley to pitch their idea to some venture capitalists for funding. They are now in their 4th year of operations and doing some marvelous things to make the lives of their fellow Kenyan's better using technology and passion
I was and am so inspired by their story. We were discussing how people see the end and the so called glamour and not the hard work, the challenges and obstacles that go into the journey
We shared stories about how there were times when eating a full meal was out of the question because of either lack of money or feeling bad to ask for help, we shared stories about travelling to other countries and thinking about how will we survive given the limited and sometimes no budget but all worth it in the end because knowing what you want to do, knowing your purpose is the best feeling in the world
I left happy and inspired, my tribe is alive albeit far away physically but thanks to technology we are close enough
Today - more meetings and a trip to the market
Peace

Returning Stronger Day 12

Improvements don’t have to be dramatic Tony Hsieh

The much anticipated day off! I took a taxi to the nature trail where the giraffe's are known to be friendly enough to be fed. (I am really taking advantage of the whole Uber scene- it's a brilliant twist of getting a taxi)

The giraffe is a beautiful graceful animal, I spent the day at the center just marveling at them, I did a small nature trail walk then went for a coffee at the Java House - I usually don't have coffee but being in Kenya puts a whole different twist on coffee- it is absolutely divine!

I realised that I was close to where I was staying after having my divine coffee, I decided to walk home. It brings a different perspective seeing the people on the ground when on foot rather than in a taxi


Rest is productive!
Peace

Returning Stronger Day 11

 Observe and learn.  Often when things don't turn out we can be relieved in retrospect.  Something different or better emerges. Wait a while. Carole Forde

They came to pay the hotel bill at 3pm I was supposed to leave for the airport at that time
She walked in with a type of fire that I seldom see, she told them off for "keeping a foreign visitor hostage" she called them stupid and village mentality, proceeded to pay and said never again would anyone from her Company patronize the place
I looked on in awe

The ride to the airport was one straight out the movies, Issa the driver was going down up roads, riding on pavements, dodging cars and to think we were in a twelve seater bus, him and I alone

"Issa, what are you doing?"
"I am getting you to the airport Madam"
"Well there are so many police around, maybe we ought to ease up"
"It is ok madam"
So I buckled up for the ride
Needless to say I made it to the airport with an hour to spare, I am walking into the terminal and there are Health officials at the door demanding Yellow Fever Immunization cards!
Oh snap- same guy from when I entered- what a coincidence
No one can enter the airport without one
I stood back and watched because I have no card, and I want to leave the country AND he let me go before with a requirement that I get one at a Ugandan hospital
I saw another lady checking for cards, I thought I would go and plead with her
Same time I went up a commotion started with 2 men who had fake Immunization cards (who knew that was possible)
they started hollering and making a scene, I pulled out my passport held it up and ran through that barrier like Usain Bolt. The guy from before spotted me, i said bye officer, he shot me the eye - I passed hurdle one!

I checked in and was now going through departures
Finger print to be taken I do the dutiful
The officer told me wait here and went for someone
Hmmm this doesn't look good
Madam your prints don't match
Well my first reaction was hearty laughter
Officer surely?
Let's try again
Here I was thinking it was my lack of yellow fever documents
His supervisor went on the computer, they spoke in their language again and then told me to try again
It worked, there was a match!
I'm outta here
Peace

Returning Stronger Day 10

Fired up with the seeds of joy, there's a bacchanal to destroy - David Rudder

I walked into the room and to my surprise, there were at least 1500 people there! Here I was thinking that this was a small gathering, oh nothing of the sort. While I was talking more people kept streaming in
Global Entrepreneurship Week (GEW) is a growing event all over the world, the week celebrates entrepreneurs and their journeys by sharing stories, providing networking opportunities and celebrating their achievements
I was up second, admittedly nervous. New crowd and new story in between all of the nerves I realized, I loved this, I loved being there on the stage sharing lessons on the journey, I loved hearing the questions and learning, I loved the buzz. That's it, this is the angle, this is where the passion lies.

So I ended the talk, went to my hotel to check out, the bill has not been paid they told me I cannot leave until the Company settles it, I called the Company to find out what's the story, I was told that the boss has to come to the hotel and pay it with her credit card. I shook my head. Simple things made complicated. I called her, she went on on the phone about the process, I listened. Then I said when are you coming, I have a plane to catch, she said in 30 minutes, I am still waiting
Will let you know what happens on the flip side
Peace

Returning Stronger Day 9

We have such an emphasis on what we want. What wealth we are creating. It is so massively self indulgent. But that success won’t ever fulfill us. It won’t ever create greatness. Oprah quoted MLK in this one that your greatness is determined by service. So, what is your measurement of success? What can you give…give…give… What’s your why that is bigger than you? Maxie McCoy
Another hotel, another place. I checked, not checked in to, 3 hotels before I decided on this one, it's funny, now a standard for hotels is WiFi! The planning for my visit here is different to what I would have done but hey it is what it is,  they do things in their own way.I have a clean room for the night, I have WiFi and as they say home "my belly full up" it is so much more than what so many people have - I am grateful
On to Masindi town tomorrow a three hour drive - with no jam, we leave at the crack of dawnI like the drive to Masindi, the countryside, the women riding their bikes with their babies strapped on their backs, the thatched roofs, the animals grazing. Makes me happy to see such freedomCheers to the journey
Holla at ya on the flip sidePeace

Returning Stronger Day 8

Until I stop being in solution mode and just relish in the present moments of my day to day life — they’re neither good nor bad. Literally, in an exact moment, everything just is. Is perfect. Is as it should be. Only when our mind wanders to past and future do things get out of whack. Maxie Mc Coy
The new facility is world class, the production area, the office, the board room. And to think we were in a cramped area with dust and mites and sometimes the occasional mice popping up to visit - all too often for my liking. We packed bags on the floorThose days are doneI had some anxiety today I must admit, I was supposed to come in and solve problems in a week that were around for the last two years, I thought "hello, I can only do what I can do, there is no magic wand" I relaxed into it and told myself just do your best in the moment and leave the restI went from the hotel to the factory and backNo time to see anything yet but trust me I will make some timeIt's good to be backYou are welcomePeace

Returning Stronger Day 7

People come into our lives to teach us the depth of our capacity to love Iyanla


Flew out of Nairobi to Kampala. As I arrived into the airport in Kampala the Ministry of Health officials were greeting everyone as they exited the plane asking for their yellow fever vaccination card, much to my surprise people were producing certificates, those without (mind you in the minority) were sent into a room. I was in the queue for the "room" when I got closer to the top of the line I realised it was to receive a shot for a small fee of $40USD- Hell naw! Hell naw On all levels- getting shot at the airport plus paying for it -hell naw

As I look up I see a sign " High Risk Yellow Fever Countries - Trinidad and Tobago"
Sheez- that is where I am from - my passport spells that big and bold no wonder he was in  a hurry to rush me to the "room"

I saw the Russian couple in front of me talk their way out of it, my turn to do the same

"Excuse me sir what is the procedure?"
"You cannot enter the country without the card, when last did you receive a shot"
"2008"
"Where is your card?"
"At Home"
Ok you need to pay and get a shot
I put on my most innocent puppy face
Officer please, I cannot,
I can let you in but you won't be able to leave Uganda without the card
I thought, hmm let me worry about that in a week's time I am not about to be going down like that today
"Ok sure no problem"
I was given the all clear to enter and clear security

As I sat in the car driving into Kampala I thought to myself that I missed the point, this was plastered all over the media- get your shot, for months I completely ignored it. Proper preparation could have avoided this scenario.
I have a week to figure it out
Took us a long while to get into the office - the jam was real (traffic jam)
The new factory is magnificent- there was no power though - the place was dark except for the offixe where I sat with Josephine - the fiercest woman I know as she updated me on the latest developments in the company
It is going to be an interesting trip
Peace