Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 160

Who are you becoming?

             It’s good to do uncomfortable things. It’s weight-training for life . - Anne Lamont
    I was having a conversation with a colleague I met while speaking for TedX Port of Spain last month, a fellow speaker    We were chatting about goals and reaching the goals we set for ourselves. What I learnt in that conversation was that it really really is about the person that I become to to achieve the goal that  becomes  the most important aspect of the journey. So take for example, my boxing training , I realised that it was not only about wining a fight or winning a bout, it was the qualities that I developed while training. The discipline to train even when I would prefer not to, to  choose to eat the healthy option before heading to train or on a daily basis. The courage required to step in a ring, the consistency and persistence, this is what brings me the satisfaction more than the achievement of the goal itself. We change our goals, we upgrade them we renegotiate them, in all of that we must develop qualities, behaviors and good habits in getting to the end game, without them the goal will become a dream unfulfilled.
    There is no bonus points for almost, nor are there bonus points for "I tried"     Who are you becoming? Who are you becoming in the pursuit of your goals? Do you have goals? Do you know who you are becoming or are things just happening to you?
    What are your intentions?
    Why and who are you doing it for?
     Chances are if the who, why and what you are doing it is for other people, society and the feelings of not enoughness then the goal is usually so much harder to achieve     Pay attention and if it is not what advances you to living a life of harmony, peace, joy, abundance and fulfillment, consider who are you becoming as you make your choicesPeace

My most famous screw ups

When the truth you have been denying bubbles to the surface it brings with it tears and freedom Iyanla

So I was asked two very interesting questions

1. What are you  most famous screw ups?

2. What did you learn from it?


Of course I had to think about it for a hot minute. Who wants to admit their mistakes? especially the famous ones?


So after the hot minute passed, this was my response

My famous screw ups

1. Not following my intuition - my gut told me not to take the job,  There was a weird feeling I could not describe every-time I was asked to join the company or went to a meeting to discuss terms and whether I would join, but I didn't listen to my gut, I rationalized that the extra money and so called status would be a good move - within a few months I was fired.

2. Playing victim - I knew he left, he was not playing the mortgage on the house we bought together - I played helpless and made no huge effort to get another job. I wanted him to see that he was making a mistake - I paid what I could hoping that he would "rescue me" or live up to his obligations - the result was screwed up credit and the house being sold,

What Did I Learn From it?

1. Take full responsibility for all of my life - responsibility is the ability to respond.
2. Follow my gut, no exceptions, even if it is not logical - all the time. Don't take jobs only for the money
3. I was made stronger by the experiences
4. Take risks when guided by my intuition

After doing this exercise my eyes have been opened, to taking responsibility for my life and not outsourcing my happiness and paying attention to the signs.
One thing about the lesson that I have learnt  - it is only a lesson if it shifted your perspective or the way you behave, if it didn't the experience will continue to return with different experiences, different people and in different places
Have a go at the questions, answer them openly and honestly with an open mind
Peace

Thank you Hal

There’s an ‘interactive-mind’ and a ‘universal-mind’. The ‘interactive-mind’ -- accessed through your head-brain -- is the collection of memories and opinions . . . the known territories of the old all jumbled together. With this mind running your life, there’s zero inspiration from achieving anything new. This mind fills time with attractive distractions; being busy protecting territories, but never exploring the unknown Yogi Singh

Someone I admired a great deal died last night, I spoke to him the morning, we had a lovely conversation and decided to meet next week. The conversation ended with me saying I will call you back either later today or on Monday to confirm the time to meet
Then he died

When I got the news I thought about how I did not call him back yesterday. How many times have I said I would do something and didn't
I thought about his work in rebuilding communities and how much he loved his country
I said I will not let his work be in vain, I cannot- how many people give their lives to a cause to better their communities no matter what? He was one
Taking what the status quo would call risks, always finding a way to explore the unknown without worrying about what happened in the past. I really admired him and will do my best to continue the great work he has started
I have been blessed to have known him - a true patriot!
Thank you Hal!
Peace

Remain open

Facing the ache of ending doesn't compare to the inauthenticity of continuation
 Danielle La Porte

Endings are usually challenging, particularly when you are comfortable, and as they say, know the devil that you have rather the one that you don't. Human beings avoid pain and change. It's just the way we have evolved. Yesterday as I was listening to the speakers at TEDX Women, one thing was abundantly clear. In birthing something new there is some discomfort, there may be some paid but when we stop resisting it it brings us a message and in the end it brings us new beginningsI am not at the point of having to make decisions about endings, the what if's are rearing their heads, so this was a timely reminder to not resist, to remain open, to know that birthing and creating involve some pain and discomfortWhat are you avoiding ending because of the fear of pain and discomfort?Peace

What are you hoarding- just in case?

Living in an abundant environment but operating on the assumption that good things are scarce leads to a host of dysfunctions that can be summed up in one word: excess. Most of us are living in some kind of excess; we work too much, eat too much, rack up debt buying too much stuff. Yet, driven by the unconscious, just-in-case assumption that "everything good is scarce," we just keep doing and accumulating more. Martha Beck

I was at a book reading Q and A session and a gentleman in the audience asked me "why don't they teach authenticity and abundance consciousness in our schools?" The question threw me off because it really came out of left field, here we were at a book reading session and this wonderfully thought provoking question about teaching our young ones about being true and content from an early age came up! I thought about it for a minute I really don't know why it is not taught in schools, maybe because no one believes that it is important enough to warrant some time within our school lives.

I for one, wished someone taught me about developing an abundant mindset, it would have saved me a lot of time and money and maybe heartache as well
 I would usually operate from the assumption that there is never enough so let me just acquire more just in case, and sometimes I never use the things. they sit there, time passes and the "event or situation" that warranted the acquisition never comes up 

 I saw an article somewhere where a woman - a successful one by our new world standards of job, career and so on, hoarded so many things it literally killed her, she died buried under mounds of items. The fire service had to literally dig her out, she went searching for something under the hoard and got a heart attack. Now that is an extreme case but the point I am making is that the very thought that there is never enough drives many of us bonkers. 

You may think about the starving children throughout the world, yes that is true and a serious situation but is it because there is not enough food in the world? surely not. There is so much wastage of food daily in many places, not enough money - greed can surely make it seem so and the list goes on and on.
Everything good is not scarce
Good never runs out, but it surely can change form
and yes sir I think they ought to teach this in schools
What are you hoarding and accumulating - just in case?
Peace

The difference between numbness and emptiness

Numbness is the result of being overloaded—too much pain, too much information, too much medication. Emptiness is very different. Much of our personal and global (same thing) problems are a result of trying to stuff our emptiness—with food, power, noise, gadgets. We cram our lives with people—virtual, in-person, strangers on screens, so we don’t have to be alone. We’re raised to fill the void. Like little robots. Fill void, fill void But what if we rocked our emptiness? Felt the perimeter of ourselves. Relished the silence. Made friends with the peace that’s always waiting for us. What if we got off on the discomfort of our emptiness and let it be creative tension? Maybe we’re just one mental reframe away from turning our universal emptiness into personal power. "Because, you’re not empty. You’re full of space Danielle La Porte

The time is coming soon that I will be heading back to Kenya and Uganda, in 2 weeks I will be on a plane heading to a place where I call my spiritual home. There are a few places when I arrive and touch down my soul feels at peace.

One of the reasons I like being there is the amount of time I spend in silence, where I either don't have the means, time or motivation to fill the time and silence with anything, not a darn thing, I just revel in it and from the silence, so many magical things happen. I no longer fight it as I have seen the benefits of sitting in it of inviting it in.

How many of us cannot live in not even one minute of stillness or silence, there must be some sort of action happening in your life to prove to both yourself and anyone else that you are useful or not lazy. Clean, move, read, watch TV, surf the Internet, shop, play music, social media, 
Busyness is promoted and praised. It is almost like a badge of honor. I know, I've been there, took me a hot minute to realize that there is nothing to feel guilty about when I choose to be silent and still.
Have you ever heard the egg and sperm infuse, the sun rise or the moon? Have you heard the sun set or a flower bloom?
Magic and miracles happen in silence and stillness
Peace

Reality is right here

There is no need to be restless or anxious, concerned about whether I will make it or when I will make it. I will. That is all I need to know. It is accomplished already, and I can travel this illusory journey in peace knowing that in reality it is already over. ACIM
I remember exactly when I stopped being anxious and restless.For months and months I had a pain on the side of my neck, it would not go away, nothing I did made it stop. I was obsessed with making it, I was preoccupied with what was coming next, what I had to do, all the mistakes that I made, all the debts I had to repay, the bad decisions I believed I madeA woman told me " Madam Akosua you are here, be here" I did not fully grasp it then. One evening in Kampala I started to meditate, it was my first time to go within and I literally wept. The tears just kept flowing, it was tears of joy,  because while I was in the state of silence, I just felt so grateful to be in the moment, right there. It was such an overwhelming feeling of calm and gratitude. To be there, with these awesome women, why was I  always rushing  to be somewhere else, to do something else, to want something else? Is there something somewhere else more important than where I was at the present moment?The simple answer was plain ole no! The magic was right there where I was in the present momentAnd therein the moment came where anxiety and restlessness disappeared from my approach, my neck pain was gone, just like thatOver the past few weeks it has reappeared, the anxiety and restlessness, it manifested itself in the same dull ache, this time in my lower back.Why wasn't I...... fill in the blanksHow can I........... fill in the blanks
Where can I....... fill in the blanksAnd like clockwork, as I was doing my early morning reading, the paragraph quoted above from ACIM came up, I screamed! literally! OMG yes! stop it, just stop it right nowplant seeds, tend to them and reaping time soon come. Be here now, pay attention, do the work, make the choices. Be still and KNOWPeace 

How is your Sense of Self?

Ask yourself: “What am I doing right now in order to avoid the pain or situation?” Are you on Facebook? Playing video games? Smoking again? Eating your 12th cookie in an hour? “By behaving this way, what am I avoiding?” When you find the answer, face it . Marianne Selenee

When you have an intact, healthy sense of worth you value other people. You realize that people are different. You understand that people see things and interpret things in different ways. You do not compare yourself to them, nor do you feel the need to compete with them.You know who you are, which means you can accept others as they are.When you do not have a healthy or intact sense of worth, you feel the need to win every argument.You feel the need to always prove your point.You are threatened by differences.You need agreement with your views, values in order to feel supported and acknowledgedWhen you are not sure who you are is good enough, you will do your darnest to prove that you are better than someone else. Since you do not have enough of your own worth to draw upon, you will set out to destroy the worth of those who you believe are opposing youBreathe that in for a minutePeace

Holding on to......

Movements are manifested by disciplined individuals who answer personal callings. And then we move together . Natalie Stewart  

Have you ever noticed that when you decide and proceed with out a shred of a doubt things start coming together nicely, in addition to that, some people start coming in and leaving your life. Therein starts the conflict, some of these people may be near and dear to you, they may be spouses, family, life long friends. It confuses the hell out of you, many times in fear we try to hold on for dear life. When the holding on starts the forward movements slow down. 
Holding on to things that no longer serves us slows down the movement.
Holding on to things that no longer serves us many times dishonor us
Holding on to things that no longer serves us dishonor others
Holding on to things that no longer serves us promotes doubt
Holding on to things that no longer serves us says that we are in fear of the unknown, fear of success, fear of failure, just plain ole' fear
and, news flash
there is nothing to fear
Let go
Make movements
onward and forward
it really will be okay in the end
Peace 

Your mind is a powerful tool

The biggest challenge in abundance is not how you bring the stuff out there to you but shifting how you think about yourself - Deborah L Johnson

Abundance is a mind set. It is a way of life, This is one of the  lessons that is taking me a while to grasp. I associate abundance with money mainly and that shift in mind is taking a long time to sink inAbundance is not only about having money, it is about knowing that there is enough, enough time, enough resources, enough resilience , that you are enough, who you are is enough. Abundance is knowing that you start from enough and then move on. It is knowing and believing that you are and will always be taken care of, maybe not in the way you envision it or think you should be.
Abundance suggests that anything that is missing on the outside is because something is missing on the inside- that we are either not giving, not willing to give, and don't know that it is missing.
Abundance is about expansion, it is about capacity - our unlimited capacity and the ability to believe in that.

Your mind is a powerful tool of creation

Peace