Bart King's Blog, page 75
May 28, 2015
What do you mean, my socks don't match?
Peanut-butter-and-jelly socks go together just like . . . I'm not sure what.
Anyway, they match the rest of my outfit perfectly!
May 27, 2015
How to Abandon Ship
"Your first concern should be for your fellow passengers. Particularly worrisome are the elderly, who pose slow-moving obstacles to your quick exit..."
How to Abandon Ship from here.
May 25, 2015
Happy Memorial Day
Now go do something good, and then high-five someone.
May 22, 2015
What am I doing this weekend?
Oh, nothing.(Seriously. Nothing!)
May 21, 2015
"We've tolerated it long enough!"
Photo by Jason Weisberger. (Blog post title by Heather.)warning: the eating of waffles by nude sunbathers on this beach will no longer be tolerated
May 20, 2015
"Just another normal afternoon in NE Portland."
This post's title is what a photographer posted for this photo. Hey, maybe this is a lawn cutting service! If so, its motto could be "Pony up for your yard care."
May 18, 2015
From Russia, with Fingers
His name's Andrey Dragunov, his hand jive is top-notch!
May 17, 2015
"Come along, Bort."
Barclay, Barry, Bert . . . Bort? Come on, "Bort"? Mommy, buy me a license plate. No, come along, Bort. Are you talking to me? No. My son is also named Bort.
May 16, 2015
"Help me! I'm doomed, DOOMED!"
"Oh. How about that. I've got something in my ear, heheh."
May 15, 2015
Tweet Day!
Even though my dental hygienist retired, I still email her updates on my teeth. After all, she always seemed so interested in them.— Bart King (@BartKing) May 15, 2015
"Hey, I saw you at Grocery Outlet yesterday." "As an artist I need to witness the human condition. Plus, canned peaches were on sale!"— Bart King (@BartKing) May 14, 2015
"So Bart, you're an accomplished scholar. What's your field of study?" "It's pronounced 'scowler'—and my expertise is in grimacing."— Bart King (@BartKing) May 14, 2015
On my first day of jury duty, I hug a courthouse pillar: "Sir? What are you doing?" "Holding court." "You're under arrest."— Bart King (@BartKing) May 14, 2015
"Would you like some of our restaurant's own ketchup? It's house-made." "Um—is that the same as homemade?" "No, HOUSE-made." ". . ."— Bart King (@BartKing) May 12, 2015
