Bart King's Blog, page 222
October 13, 2011
October 12, 2011
"Family lost in corn maze calls 911"
Sometimes a story comes along that's so perfect, we need to read the whole thing to enjoy it. This is one of those stories:
BOSTON (Reuters) - A fall outing to a Massachusetts farm
this week turned frightful for a family who got lost in an elaborate corn maze
and called 911 to be rescued.
The call for help came...from the family
lost in the dark in a seven-acre corn maze at a farm...about 25 miles
north of Boston, police said.
"I don't see anybody. I'm really scared. It's really
dark and we've got a three-week-old baby with us," a woman [said] in a recorded call to 911.
The husband, wife and their two children were actually only
about 25 or 30 feet into the maze, but they panicked as darkness fell, worried
the farm had closed.
"We thought this would be fun. Instead it's a
nightmare," the woman said in the call...
A police canine unit responded and found the family by
calling out. The dog on duty, Falco, did not have to track them down, said...Sergeant Robert Bettencourt.
While people have been known to lose their way in corn
mazes, Bettencourt said he did not know of police responding to such a call
before.
This year's corn maze at Connors Farm...typically takes about 45 minutes or an hour to
wander through, said manager Richard Potter...he said staff members had not left the farm when the
family called police and knew there were people were in the maze. But Potter said
he did not hear anyone call out for help.
"We want to have positive family experiences
here," Potter said. "We don't want anybody to go through what they
went through."
A Mystery!
Over in Georgia, a schoolbus caught fire on the FIRST day of school.
As "firefighters are still determining the cause of the fire," it's quite a puzzle. If only we had SOME idea of who would want to stop a schoolbus on the first day of school... well, I'm stumped!
October 11, 2011
PUBLISHER'S WEEKLY calls this book "intensely cute"
Crafting with Cat Hair?
"Please welcome, our not-so-special guest..."
Today, I'm the "cuteness expert" over at Robert Basler's Oddly Enough Blog.
Come for the adorable photos, stay for the hilarious comments!
October 10, 2011
Revelations from Writing for a Week in a Children's Bookstore Window
1.) Most Commonly Asked Question: "Are you getting anything
done?" (This is what they were asking about.)
2.) My Favorite Question: "When can I buy this book?"
3.) Cutest Moment: A small girl walked past the
store after school with a trombone case. Since the case was bigger than she
was, she was towing it with a trombone dolly.
4.) Second Saddest Moment: Some children were not
interested in the novel I projected on the screen. They preferred to make
shadow animals. (Philistines!)
5.) First Saddest Moment: Two boys walk down the
sidewalk with their parents. Spying the bookstore, the boys run to the doorway,
smiling.
"Look! Books!" they shout.
"Those are books for older kids," Mom says as she
pulls them away.
(Yes,
the thing about children's bookstores is that they're VERY exclusive.)
6.) News: A guy named Rick Riordan had a book come out this week. This seemed
to generate enthusiasm among bookstore visitors. (I believe this Riordan person
may be able to quit his day job if he lives frugally.)
7.) Good ideas for book titles are The
Wedgie Fixer and Unexplained Bruises.
8.) "I'm here all week" is a funny thing to say on Monday. (By Friday,
less so.)
9.) Out of context remarks:
—"I
knew there was this Bart King and I knew there was that Bart King, but I didn't
know all those Bart Kings were the same Bart King."
—"Memo to self: From now on, only wear tunics."
—"The
thing that bothers me most is the consistency of the nog."
11.) Eliza, Django, and Rachel all gave me helpful tips. Speaking of which—
Tip Jar Profits
Monday: Two quarters, one Clif Bar
(chocolate chip).
Tuesday: One prank "nail through the
finger" gag, one keychain toy called "MUNCH'N
BUNNIES" [sic] that reveals little rabbits eating.
Wednesday: Two dollars.
Thursday: One resin skull &
crossbones, one offer of a snack from Starbucks, one tip written on a sheet of
paper: "Make sure to get a good night's sleep."
Friday: One bag of peanuts (I work for peanuts!) and one note encouraging me to use children's booksellers as characters in my novel.
Photos of the week in the window are here.
done?" (This is what they were asking about.)
2.) My Favorite Question: "When can I buy this book?"
3.) Cutest Moment: A small girl walked past the
store after school with a trombone case. Since the case was bigger than she
was, she was towing it with a trombone dolly.
4.) Second Saddest Moment: Some children were not
interested in the novel I projected on the screen. They preferred to make
shadow animals. (Philistines!)
5.) First Saddest Moment: Two boys walk down the
sidewalk with their parents. Spying the bookstore, the boys run to the doorway,
smiling.
"Look! Books!" they shout.
"Those are books for older kids," Mom says as she
pulls them away.
(Yes,
the thing about children's bookstores is that they're VERY exclusive.)
6.) News: A guy named Rick Riordan had a book come out this week. This seemed
to generate enthusiasm among bookstore visitors. (I believe this Riordan person
may be able to quit his day job if he lives frugally.)
7.) Good ideas for book titles are The
Wedgie Fixer and Unexplained Bruises.
8.) "I'm here all week" is a funny thing to say on Monday. (By Friday,
less so.)
9.) Out of context remarks:
—"I
knew there was this Bart King and I knew there was that Bart King, but I didn't
know all those Bart Kings were the same Bart King."
—"Memo to self: From now on, only wear tunics."
—"The
thing that bothers me most is the consistency of the nog."
11.) Eliza, Django, and Rachel all gave me helpful tips. Speaking of which—
Tip Jar Profits
Monday: Two quarters, one Clif Bar
(chocolate chip).
Tuesday: One prank "nail through the
finger" gag, one keychain toy called "MUNCH'N
BUNNIES" [sic] that reveals little rabbits eating.
Wednesday: Two dollars.
Thursday: One resin skull &
crossbones, one offer of a snack from Starbucks, one tip written on a sheet of
paper: "Make sure to get a good night's sleep."
Friday: One bag of peanuts (I work for peanuts!) and one note encouraging me to use children's booksellers as characters in my novel.
Photos of the week in the window are here.
"Poets Ranked by Beard Weight"
The arrival of this indispensable book is a cause for rejoicing among those who closely follow the competitive world of bearded poets.
Would you like to know more? Naturlich!
"Everything that can be known about beards and much
that can't." --The London Weekly Gazette
"Underwood's revolutionary syntheses lift the science
of pogonology to hitherto undreamed of heights!" --Beards Illustrated
See how Whitman's beard stacks up against Longfellow's,
Homer's, and Tennyson's! Poets Ranked by Beard Weight is a classic of Edwardian
esoterica, a privately printed leaflet offered by subscription to the informed
man of fashion and as a divertissement au courant for reading bins and cocktail
tables of parlor cars, and libraries and smoking lounges of gentlemen's clubs . . .
Of particular interest is Underwood's most significant
invention-a grading system, known as the "Underwood Pogonometric
Index," which calculates what he called "poetic gravity," or
beard weight. Also included are the fundamentals of beard flirtation and a
complete history of beard-based folklore and controversies.
