Roxy Mews's Blog, page 16

I'm the Old Lady playing POkemon Go

The Pokemon Go app has been out for a couple years now, and I started playing on Day 1. I stopped for a while because once the raids hit, and I was the only person in my local group of friends playing...well, it's hard to take on a raid boss above a 2-star by yourself.

When the game first hit, I remember seeing my first lure light up. For those of you that don't play, a Lure is an item you can use at a Pokestop, which makes it look like it rains hearts. Basically it's an adorable beacon.

Back then, I lived walking distance from that lured pokestop. The first night the game was live I walked to the pokestop and there were near a dozen adults (all still younger than me, but fun anyway) and we were chatting, catching pokemon and laughing outside our local fire station at 10pm at night. 

The hubub died down, but I've found myself chatting with a few people who are getting jazzed about the game again, and it was super cool to hang with another author who plays this past weekend. Seriously, where else can you chat about Eevee evolutions and proper pronoun usage in menage books within a five minute time span. (Yes. That happened.)

What used to worry me in my late 20's and early 30's about "how I look to others" is pretty much an afterthought in my current day to day life. I've stopped wearing makeup when my EDJ keeps the temps over 75 degrees indoors. I've stopped apologizing for writing explicit love scenes in my books. And I've stopped hedging to say I'm an author. 

This blog today is just a reminder that you're awesome just the way you are, and somewhere out there your tribe of people is waiting to welcome you with open arms. 

And if you're a tribe member that plays Pokemon Go...my trainer code is 2817 4268 5510. 
Are you in a fandom that is unusual for your age group? What hobbies do you enjoy getting lost in? I'd love to hear about them.

​~Roxy

YouTube Time

Not gonna lie. I am beat. I had a busy weekend, and while it was amazing and inspiring thanks to a visit from the fabu Jayne Rylon, it was also tiring for this introvert.

I had two work shifts, including a double right after the busy weekend, and this woman needs to put her feet up and watch some YouTube. So I thought I'd share what was on my watch list in case you needed something to add to a playlist.

So here are my "I'm fucking tired, and all I want to do is watch YouTube", recommendations.

1. Lila Dubois is just starting out reviewing her fav lipsticks. You can be one of the cool people like me and subscribe to her. I think she's fucking hilarious. And as a writer, I totally relate to attempting to be as cool as your characters...2. Safiya Nygaard does a lot of random purchasing of items. She does a lot of the youtube challenges, and basically my dark soul loves her and her black wardrobe. This video, she online shops for me. I have a thing for watching people spend money when I can't. My interest in this type of video borders on inappropriate. 3. Threadbanger is a married couple (Rob and Corrine) who I aspire to meet and befriend IRL, but I'm probably too old. They do a ton of crazy hacks, and I found them through their Man Vs. Pin series. Honestly, I prefer just hanging out with them during videos like this. This Bro Date vid, was exactly what I needed tonight. Other people going out into the world FOR ME. Because momma's got comfy pants on, and I'm not doing anything that requires shoes.That's what's on my binge list tonight. I would say I'm off to watch a ton more, but honestly...I have to be up early to take hubby to the airport and after the crazy work shifts, I'm ready for bed. 

If you have videos, or other YouTube channels you think I'd dig, post some links for me. I'd love to have a good binge stash for tomorrow.

~Roxy

Sometimes all you need is someone to say "You CAn"

This blog is going to be short and sweet. Yesterday was my meeting with my local RWA chapter (Indiana RWA).

Jayne Rylon came to speak to us, and she gave us a TON of information. Which, I'm going to have to review the notes and process. She also showed us how to look at this stuff from a business stand point. Finding all ways to market all facets of your product and your skill set. I've touched on this idea a little in my own business, but never to the depth I was taking the magnifying glass to it yesterday.

Seriously, if your chapter has room in their budget and schedule, consider bringing in Jayne Rylon. 

But for me the most interesting conversations always happen after. After meetings, after panels...just after. And one thing yesterday struck me as damn significant.

A lot of us have a similar story of why we started writing, and why we finally took the step toward having someone else read our books. There was one person we respected who told us to get off our ass and get started at a time when we were ready to hear that message.

For me, I'm dense, and had to have a few people tell me. So my push came from Mary Hughes, Lexi Blake, and Shayla Black. Trust me there were many many more who helped me a long the way, but Mary Hughes told me outright that I was ready. And Lexi and Shayla looked me in the eye and told me to do it.

I hope I have given an author or two the shove to take a chance. Because even at our meeting, one woman (who I'm not naming because I don't know how she'd feel about me sharing) said that Jayne was the reason she finally got off her butt and got started on her career in writing. Jayne looked at me and said, "I just told her she could do it."

And I realized, that's all some of us need. We need someone we respect, and someone who has been there to say, "Get off your ass and get started."

I put off joining RWA for the first few years, because I had my support system through other outlets. Why did I finally join? Because deep down, I'm hoping I can be someone's push story. I want to be honest and open and be able to tell someone, "You can."

If you haven't found your inspiration or your push person yet, I have a writing bucket list for you. 

1. Join a book club and talk only about books. Not your writing. Learn what people are reading. Meet any authors you can. Learn.

2. Write some fan mail. Tell authors why they are awesome and what you love about their books. Some may write back. Some might not. But putting that good energy out in the universe is the point.

3. Attend a conference. There are tons of reader conferences all over the place. Some writer cons too, but go to a reader con. Fangirl. Enjoy yourself. If there is author stuff too...awesome. But catch the joy from the readers.

4. Join an organization. I'm not saying it has to be RWA. Just find your tribe. Maybe there is a writing group at your library. Maybe there is an online forum of writers that tends to work at the same time you do you can do writing sprints with. Actively search out a way to connect with people on a regular basis. 

Do you have a "You Can" story? Who gave you that push? Or if you're still waiting to check published author off your bucket list, what are you doing to find your push? I'd love to hear your story in the comments.

~Roxy

Ambient Noise for Productivity

I've talked about ambient noise on some of my previous blogs. I started looking into ambient noise to write with during last year's NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I talk about my favorite site in my NaNoWriMo 2017 review blog . 

Ambient noise is a way to have something in the background. I live in a noisy house, and while I can usually write better to music, sometimes my brain will struggle to not sing along with the lyrics on my carefully curated Pandora station. If you've never experienced ambient noise before, I'd recommend trying it with over the ear headphones.

Many of the ambient noises I go for have a bit of an ASMR flair. I'm drawn toward library or study style ambient noise rooms because the pages turning, keyboard clacking, and pen scratching tends to make me feel like people are being productive around me. Which, in turn, makes me keep going.

Who knows how my brain works. But for those of you who love the ambiance of a coffee shop, for example, you can find coffee shop ambient noise rooms.  If you know of a place that you tend to work best, but can't physically get there, ambient noise might work well for you too.

Harry Potter themed rooms seem to be the ones I see most often. Or maybe they're just the ones that pop up for me because I dig the Hogwarts library vibes and have listened to a few. 

I recently stumbled onto a YouTuber's channel who has a whole series of ASMR videos using ambient noise to create the feeling of being in different rooms. I'll plug one in below. Put on your headphones and you can try it out for yourself.ASMR Rooms, the YouTuber who created the video above, does use some minimal animation to accompany the noises, but not all mixers do. The Ambient-Mixer.com site, is one of my favorites to scroll through because if there is one noise in the creator's room that you're not a fan of, you can adjust the frequency or turn it off completely. 

Are you someone who prefers silence while you create? Or do you use music, ambient noise, or white noise? Tell me about it in the comments. And if you're a fan of ambient noise as well, what are your favorite sites to frequent? I'd love to have more in my bookmark tab.

​~Roxy

We call it "Research" now

Whenever I get together with writer buddies we joke a little about "research". Because when you're writing a book, damn near anything can be classified as research. Hell, I wrote a segway scene into one of my books just so the segway tour I took with friends could count as research. 

Don't come for me IRS. I made sure it was totally necessary for the story.

I've seen exotic locations, nearby locations, museums, stores, and various other things pop up in books, and I know the authors have been to those places specifically for the research of the city or store. Online research can take you a long way, but I can't deny that something magical happens under a good writer's fingers when they've traveled to the exact spot they're writing about.

We also do a LOT of reading. Or as much as humanly possible. Writers all started out as readers. We craft our stories because someone inspired us to put days, months, and years into a book that only sometimes sees publication. We craft stories because there is something inside us that our fingers on a keyboard can say better than our mouths can. But we also read to find out how others have tackled certain topics. We read research books when we can't travel somewhere or desperately need historical data. 

Reading fiction is also research. No. Seriously. This one isn't bullshit. Understanding the tropes and known universe of popular books helps us not piss people off. You can push paranormal lore boundaries quite a bit and make up a lot of your own world, but some things have to match up. If you came in saying vampires lived off of toenails instead of blood, I don't think you'd have a very receptive audience. Or you'd better be one hell of a spinmaster. 

I read a lot of small pub and self pub when before I started writing. Mainly because I wasn't looking for the broody emotional dramas with more focus on internal than external conflict. I enjoyed books that were dialogue and external motivation heavy. I also wanted something that was light-hearted, funny, and didn't close the door during sex scenes. So most main stream was out for me at that time. 

HOWEVER, now that I'm writing, I want to see what bigger houses are buying and if any of the style points match up and are something I might have in my far too large stash of written works. Because book production is pricey, y'all, and momma wants a sugar momma pub house.

There's one big problem though...and I know I'm not alone in this. 

I can't read without editing in my head.

For real. Once you start getting slapped by an editor for whatever your personal quirks are, it's impossible to unsee them in every book you ever read from that moment on. I notice basic grammar and punctuation errors more, sure. But if an author over-uses "That" "Just" or writes an ellipses-heavy book, I feel like tucking it into my arm and hiding so the all-seeing editors don't yell at the printed pages.

Every editor I've had has taught me something about my writing and about my writing process. And that's exactly how it should be. I've learned so much about the craft by having someone rip it to shreds with love. Well...not all editors did this with love, but that doesn't mean I didn't learn something. 

My point is, every book we read from now until forever is research. Not even because we want it to be, but because all those rounds of edits lap at the inside of our skulls whenever we look at the printed word. We analyze the pages in a different way. 

I'm still slogging through contest entries, and I have to remind myself constantly that these are new writers. Because I want to fix EVERYTHING for them. But I'm trying to be particular in what I fix. Because no matter how much you prepare, the first time someone sends you a document with hundreds or thousands of notes, it sucks. (Seriously...I had one book with over 4000 revision notes. I cried into my beer with that one.) 

I'm hoping I'm not being too harsh, but at the same time, I hope I'm preparing at least one new writer to make it through that first round of edits. I hope I'm the bad guy, so that they can look at a round of edit notes they are sent and push past the urge to rock in a corner a little quicker.

Reading is research, because we can notice popular patterns and styles. And because we need to think outside our own stories every once in a while. 

But I also stand by the fact that if I write a coffee house romance, my trips to Starbucks can totally go on my research expense sheet.

Are you an author? What are some of your favorite items to expense? Are you just as unable to enjoy most pleasure reads as I am? Or are you a new writer who has made a mental note to never ask me for edits? ;) Let me know in the comments.

~Roxy

What's my brand?

Branding has become a topic that I'm slowing discovering needs to be addressed in my author life. In many businesses, branding involves the type of product you sell, or storefront you have, but as an author it becomes much more closely intertwined with who I am as a person.

I have attended workshops, read articles, taken online courses...and I still have no idea how to label my brand in a succinct sentence were someone to ask me. 

Mainly because I don't think branding is all about font, and color, and pictures. I don't think brand is even all about a product or a genre. When I think of someone's brand who I feel has a successful public image, I think of the feeling I get when I interact with that brand's product. 

For example. When I look up info about my favorite coffee company, Death Wish Coffee, I couldn't describe much more than their delicious addictive product that I wish was sold locally. (Seriously Death Wish folks, Indiana is smack in the middle of lots of shipping areas. Come give us your delicious coffee.)

But what I can describe about that branding is that I get a general feeling of badassery whenever I consume their product or their content. They have a minimalist edge that appeals to me and makes me feel like I can take on the world. They elicit emotion from me when I see their product. The logo, the ads...all that does is remind me how I feel when I was consuming their product.

This is one of those topics like writing a synopsis. No one really knows how to define an industry standard on a synopsis, but we all know a good one when we see one. So basically branding and synopses are both like porn.

In my never-ending effort to find someone that will help me stumble across what my brand is, I found this article in Entrepreneur Magazine. This article promises to help you define your brand in 5 steps. And since I have no clue what my brand is, and have a top 5 category on my blog, I figured I would complete the 5 steps with you today. 

Displaying my cluelessness for all to see will either make someone feel better, or y'all can have a good laugh at my expense. Either way, I have had my coffee, and I have nothing to lose, so let's give this a shot.

HOW TO DEFINE YOUR BRAND IN FIVE STEPS

1. Determine your goals.

Well, shit. I just did this work. If you missed out you can get your goals and routines jumpstarted with my #Roxys7DayChallenge. My main goal for the next year is to put together a fun and "Foolish" project with my author friends. But I don't know if that's what this is referencing. Let me read on...

Okay. It's looking for specifics. So, cool. My goal is to start a new writing project from scratch and coordinate a group of others to do the same thing by 2020. 

Next Question!

2. Pinpoint your unique value proposition

Ummm...huh? Why does this sound like prostitution? I need to read this. These aren't 5 easy steps if I have to read to figure out what the fuck you're talking about, article. From the article...

"That’s a fancy way of saying you need to figure out A) what benefit you offer people B) who those people are C) how you solve their problems and D) what makes you different from others like you."

At least they acknowledge it's overly pompous terminology. Hmm...what benefit do I offer people? I give my characters orgasms like the benevolent author I am, but I'm thinking they mean benefit to you guys. The ones reading this. Is there really any benefit to my "product"? 

My benefit is purely entertainment value with a smile and hopefully since I write spicy romance, I make you squirm just a little too. I offer that to adults. Mostly women. What makes me different? Besides the purple hair? I guess it's just my voice, and my viewpoint. Me. I'm what makes my product different. Is that good enough article? 

"If you’re having trouble answering these questions, I find it’s useful to first determine why you’re passionate about what you do."

Guess not. Okay...why am I passionate about romance and the book community in general? Because I discovered some writers who made me smile at a point in my life when I didn't have much to smile about. They inspired me to find strength through the worst shit, because if these women I read about could keep their sense of humor despite everything the authors put them through, then so could I. And these authors inspired me to try something I'd never thought I could do, because they started later in life too. I'm passionate about my books because I'm hoping to write a book that takes someone away from the everyday grind for a few hours. I'm hoping to make readers smile when they need it. Laughter saved my sanity. My sanity might be debatable, but the positive impact the humorous books had on my life is not. 

Well...that got deep. Let's move on before I start waxing poetic. No one likes waxing.

3. Craft your professional story arc.

Da fuq, article. Do you know how long it takes a writer to decide on a story arc? Do you know how hard that is for a pantser like me in particular. These are not five easy steps.

My professional arc? I started writing because it was fun. I reached out to authors who I thought did the writing thing in the most badass way I'd ever seen. Somehow I befriended some of them. They told me to get off my ass, and then I submitted a book to a publisher. They gave me my first contract. Now I'm out here flailing to figure out what the fuck a brand is. 

Next step.

4. Establish your character personality.

Umm...which character. I write lots of characters. That's kind of my thing. That's what we're marketing. HOW DOES THIS HELP, ARTICLE?!?!

Oh...they mean me. Me as the character in my story arc. They also say to describe yourself as others see you, not as you see yourself. Y'all can tell me that below, because I'm not a damn mind reader. 

For the sake of stumbling toward the last step, we'll say that my character personality is...bumbling enthusiasm with a dash of intelligent bullshit.

FINAL STEP!

5. Distill it down to a brand statement.

So taking what I've talked about above I'm supposed to make a painfully long 2-3 sentences that no one is ever going to remember and I'd have to write down and read every damn time I post because it's TOO LONG.

Ugh. 

You lied, article. Or maybe I don't want a brand statement, maybe I need a tagline. Which is probably a different article somewhere else, but I'm not going through all the multi-syllabic words again to get there. 

Maybe I can take a word from each of the first 4 steps and turn it into a tagline? Sure. Let's waste more time and try it.

1. Write
2. Orgasms
3. Flailing
4. Intelligent Bullshit (Okay that's two words, but it's one term.)

So that would be...

Intelligent bullshit written into flailing orgasms

Orgasms born of intelligent bullshit

Flailing writer bullshits with intelligent orgasms

Don't flail through your orgasms, write with intelligent bullshit


Guess I can now check branding off my list. Vote below as to which of the 4 should be my new tagline. Or give me a new one in the comments. I'm partial to "Orgasms born of intelligent bullshit" myself.

~Roxy

Top 5 August Author Favorites

I thought I'd share some of the things I've been loving the most in my writing life right now. These are my Top 5 August Favorites. I would provide links to the items, but unfortunately, most aren't linkable. :( But I promise to drop in links to anything you can find online. 

Without further fanfare, here are my Top 5 Author Favorites for August.
1. My Morning Pages Notebook and Cynthia Rowley Pen.

If you follow me anywhere on social media, you've probably seen this notebook. I'm pretty obsessed with it. I found this gold foil hard cover notebook with gilded pages at Burlington Coat Factory for $5. The paper quality is amazing, and it lays flat. 

I can't write in a notebook that doesn't lay flat. It drives this lefty nuts.

The pen is one of my favorites. The Cynthia Rowley Pens I buy from Staples, write smooth, don't skip, and feel great in my hand. I'm a heavy handed writer so, ball points always work better for me than felt tip.

​I use this combo every morning, and I love it more and more each day. 2. My 18oz Pfaltzgraff Coffee Mug from Dollar Tree

I was did find this for sale on Amazon but they were charging $14 for the thing. Um...no. I bought this bad boy for a buck, and a few of it's friends. The rim of the mug isn't too thick, and the handle is big enough to not burn the crap out of my hand when I hold my preferred scalding hot temp coffee.

It's also dishwasher and microwave safe, which is incredibly important since I get distracted and always have to reheat my coffee. The handle doesn't even get hot after I boil the coffee in the microwave.

The designs on both versions I picked up still look perfect after dozens of washes.  3. Happy Notes by Happy Planner

I have been making my own notebooks with Happy Planner accessories for a few months now. I love these notebooks for brainstorming, webinar note taking, project planning, and I have one I'm revamping to move a book bible into it. 

I found out Joanne Fabrics was getting in a line of "Happy Notes", which were basically what I had been piecing together, but with mini discs and cuter (exclusive) paper and dividers. (These aren't online anywhere I can find. You actually have to leave the house to buy them.)

The store called to me, and I checked it out. I WANT THEM ALL. But I stuck with the big size, because for me it makes the most sense. You can punch regular computer paper and insert it without cutting it down into the big size. I had a 40% off coupon, and snagged this baby for $8. 

I'm already using it as a brainstorm planner, because of the dot grid paper. My IRWA buddies will see this sucker in action on Saturday at our meeting.  4. Post-It or Sticky Notes

I have amassed far too many sticky notes to admit the actual quantity of them, but let's just say, I don't need to buy any more to feed my current addiction.

Since I got my office set up, I have had my very first book cover front and center over my desk. What started out as a joke, has quickly turned into my favorite part of my planning process. 

I'm horrible at remembering ideas without writing them down. And those damn ideas come at the worst possible times. So now, I just get one of the 5 or 6 pads of sticky notes on my desk and slap the idea in front of my face. That way when my mind drifts and my eyes stray from my computer, they have other things to look at and my brain can mull the random thoughts over. Anytime I accomplish something or add the idea as an actionable item in my planner I pluck the note from my picture frame and toss it. This has been working really well to pull back my wandering mind. 5. PrintRun Podcast

This is a podcast I've mentioned before, but I have become absolutely obsessed with it lately.

I am a full value patreon supporter of the show, because I find insane value in listening to these two agents pick apart the queries and first pages of manuscripts from the brave souls who send them in.

The duo who run the podcast talk about everything from publishing news, drama, and social media phenomenon. They also answer submitted questions, and are just plain entertaining.

I knew this had to be on my Top 5 because I was legit STALKING their Twitter to see when yesterday's episode was live. I'm officially obsessed. If you write, are in the publishing industry, or are a reviewer who is tuned into the culture, you'll enjoy this.

Those are my Top 5 August Author Favorites. What are you loving this month? I'd love to hear about it. 

​~Roxy

Confession: I get mad reading contest entries

It's crunch time to finish up reading contest entries for my local RWA chapter's contest, the Indiana Golden Opportunity. I've been reading work for friends and critique partners for years. And I'll be the first to admit, my style is not for everyone. 

Have you read my books? Then you probably get an idea of how I am to work with. I'm snarky, and opinionated, and honest. I'm not one to blow smoke up someone's ass. If I don't like something I tell the person I'm reading for outright. If you're writing and the people reading your work don't have anything negative to say...you're getting the wrong people to read your work. Because no matter how horrible a friend or editor's notes may feel, it's a million times better than having them posted in a review on a big website.

​*waves to Dear Author and my lovely F grade on my first book*

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So I always take the approach that even if it sounds harsh, me being honest is important when I make notes on a manuscript. And even when I'm judging for a contest, I want to give as much feedback as I can.

Which brings me to yet another reason I shouldn't be a teacher. Seeing people with such obvious talent making these mistakes is infuriating.

Some of the entries I've read over the years have brilliant marketable series potential, or innovative ideas. But they do some of the things I have to work hard not to do, or I see many of my old mistakes on display in their work. Sometimes they'll even have such a brilliant opening that when the prose crashes and burns, I'm ready to throw the computer.

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There has never been a more perfect GIF for my mental state while reading contest entries. I have to step back and take breaks while reading. Because I know that a lot of people entering contests are looking to improve. Seeing their brilliant dialogue, or their fantastic scene setting swallowed up by things that are so easy to fix makes me grumpy. 

So can you see exactly why editing is not a career choice for me? LOL!

Do almost brilliant works make you angry too? Please someone tell me I'm not the only freak in the room.

I was listening to an author on a panel discuss reviews quite a few years back. The author speaking said his least favorite reviews were the 3 stars. Why? Because those were the "Meh" reviews. The 1 and 5 stars, unlike the 3 star reviewers, had an emphatic emotional reaction. He was able to connect with the reader in some way. 

Which is how I know, right now, I'm reading from a bank of talented writers. I'm very freaking emotional. 

If you are thinking of entering a contest, be ready for feedback that will make your story shine. Be ready for people who really care about your work to rip it apart with love. The more passionate I am about a story, the more I rip it to shreds. 

And with that, I'm off to mark up another entry with my red pen of death, because this one has so much fucking potential, I can't stand it. 

Have you ever judged in a contest? Or are you a teacher who works with others to improve their craft? I envy your patience. And anyone who has ever edited or tried to teach me...I owe you a shot. Hit me up at the next conference.

​~Roxy

Bring on the fingerprint scanners

After this morning and the hours I spent organizing my bills and apps for the new month a few days ago, I am over technology.

Like...if there was a tradeoff where I wouldn't have to enter a password or answer security questions ever again, but I had to submit to an anal probe once a month, I'd schedule the appointment today.

I now keep 4 pages of my Bullet Journal just for passwords and logins. BECAUSE YOU NEED A LOGIN AND PASSWORD FOR EVERYTHING. I have avoided some websites and store fronts because I don't want to deal with yet another damn password. My brain is too full.

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For real, I have tried to come up with a password that meets all the expectations of all websites, but I think it would take a supercomputer to come up with such a beast, and even then, I'd never remember the fucking thing,

I'm going to sound real old here, but there was once a time where you could just have words as you password. You know...that thing that has "WORD" in it? "Password" used to be the most popular password. And I'd wager it wasn't because the people using it were stupid, but because folks like me are just so goddamn over remembering how to login.

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I was riding the struggle bus for quite some time with remembering all my passwords, but I did get a bullet journal layout done and was happily able to find the information I needed to get into sites I wanted. 

Until...one day I get a notification. 

To keep your information secure, we recommend you update your password.

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Don't let the "recommend" part fool you. They don't give you a choice. *old woman grumble*

Fucking fine. I'll change it. I get out my notebook and whiteout my old password and write in the password I plan to use. After that I turn back to my computer and type in my NEW password. 

But instead of taking me to where I need to go, I get a pop up...

Your password must contain capital letter, numbers, and at least one of the following characters.

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I get my whiteout back out and cover up a password that never even got the chance to shine. But I remember I used to have a password that might have met these requirements, and since I'd used it before, I stood a slight chance of remembering it.

So over the second layer of whiteout I write in my new new password. 

Typing this brilliant and not completely obscure password into the box, I tell the computer to update my password.

So I'm done right? Oh, fuck no. Now the box says...

The password cannot be one you've used in the last five years.

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I make up something I know I'm never going to remember with out getting out my notebook, but whatever. At this point I'm ready to be done with this task.

​After I disclose my blood type and answer ten security questions including what my hamster's favorite color in second grade was, the damn website decides it's still not good enough.

Now I need to verify the change by entering a code from a text message they'll send me.

A TEXT TO A PHONE NUMBER I NO LONGER HAVE!

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Oh, but don't worry. I can change the phone number by entering a different code sent to an email. Which is sent to an also outdated email address. Thank goodness for my four pages of logins and passwords. But...plot twist...when I go to login into my old email...wait for it...

I HAVE TO UPDATE THE PASSWORD TO GET INTO MY EMAIL

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So basically, what I'm saying is, I'm ready to sign whatever waiver they want. Give me a fingerprint scanner, give me a retina scanner, fuck...I'll bleed into a computer if it lets me not need passwords.

I gave up on getting my passwords updated for now. I need a break. I'm off to read a book. Maybe I'll read a historical. Something with NO COMPUTERS.

​~Roxy

What you send out is what you receive

As many of you know, I've been an avid self-help reader for some time now. And while many books vary on their techniques, there is one thing they all have in common. Putting out the effort and energy you want to get back.

Affirmations, meditation, prayer, vision boards...all of these things tend to work to tap into good energy and send it out into the world. 

So that's what I'm going to try to add to my routine. I've already gotten into the habit of writing down gratitude for each day. And for real, even just appreciating a stolen nap in a slow afternoon, my mood is incredibly lifted. 

I typed in a random act of kindness search. Did you know there is a whole organization at RandomActsOfKindness.org? I was searching around the site, which seems to be geared more toward educators (which is awesome), and found something that stuck.

One of their ideas was to send an email for no other reason than to be complimentary and positive.

I love this idea. Some of my most cherished relationships have started with a compliment. They have started with genuine appreciation with no expectations. When I first started devouring books years ago, I would send out fan emails. I would drop lines to amazing authors just to tell them they were amazing. I never in a million years thought they'd write back.

And that's what I'm going to start attempting to recapture. I want to be the person who isn't afraid to put that positive energy back into the world. 

I'm going to send an email today. It's not going to be long, because I need to get to work, but dropping a line to someone who inspires me, might just make them smile. Maybe I'll throw out a tweet tomorrow, or a Facebook post. There are so many ways to put out the energy I want to send out into the world again. 

Working on habits, and getting shit done in my life is incredibly important, but going through my day emphasizing kindness is even more so. 

I dare you to send a happy email, or compliment a stranger, or even hold a door for a mom struggling with a stroller. I dare you to commit a random act of kindness today. When you do it, come back and tell me about it. I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy