Roxy Mews's Blog, page 14

Current Book PlayList

I've never been the one to curate a playlist for a book or series, but sometimes, songs pop up and I listen to those bad boys on repeat for days until a book starts to pour out.

For any of you who were around for my Hybrids, you know Shelly's song was "Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry. But that was the closest thing I ever had to inspiration music.

This new world I'm working on has hit me hard and for the first time a playlist has started forming itself. So I though I'd share. I don't listen to the censored versions of songs either, so if you're not one for curse words, this isn't going to be your jam. Although if you're not into curse words, I can guarantee, my books aren't for you either. LOL!

For my writer friends who might be looking for songs to feed your muse, take a listen. And for any of my readers out there, see if you can guess the themes you might be seeing in the future.

The last song here, "Honestly" by Gabbie Hanna is the one that started it all. The beat and the emotion combine for something that I can't get out of my head.

What are you listening to on repeat right now? I'd love to hear it!

~Roxy

Top 5 Tasks to put off when sick

Children are amazing creatures. They are so sweet, and many love to share. Germs. They love to share germs, and one of those little bastards nailed me with a nasty summer cold.

I dropped hubby off for his overnight work trip and he told me to get some rest. So before I resume my marathon of Markiplier's Prop Hunt game series, I thought I'd share the top things I stop doing when I'm sick. 

1. No Cooking. 
I hate cooking on a good day, but when I'm sick, I really don't want to do it. Not only do I not want to exert the effort, but I also don't want to contaminate food other people will consume. Basically I live on sandwiches and canned soup.

via GIPHY

2. No Real Dishes
Perhaps the real reason I hate cooking is the cleanup involved. So since dishes are off the list when I'm sick, I use up leftover paper plates from holidays, containers I can throw away, and in a pinch, I eat things I can consume over the sink or off a paper towel. Creativity runs rampant when I need to come up with a container.

via GIPHY

3. No Folding Laundry
I'll still wash clothes, because clean clothes are important. But they stay in a clean pile in a hamper where I can dig out what I need. Sure there might be wrinkles, but I'm sick. The farthest I'm going is to the mailbox. I could give a fuck if my clothes are wrinkled. And I'm most likely still in my PJ's.

via GIPHY

4. No Socializing
If I had some kind of event or meeting when I come down with a bug, I try to reschedule. Unless it's vital, I try to isolate myself to not spread the germs. Me hunkering down in my pile of blankets with my computer and lemon water for a couple days might just keep my friends and random folks in the outside from getting sick. So I stay home when I can and hand sanitize before touching any public surface otherwise.

via GIPHY

5. No Schedules
When there are vital things, I get them done as soon as possible, and then I beg off anything that's not in the "No-or-Never" category. After this blog, I'm sending a couple emails, and taking a nap with my pets. Sick days are about check lists and riding the cold med wave to snag sleep when you can.
​

via GIPHY

What do you stay far away from when you're sick? Any old tricks for getting better quick? I always put rosemary extract on my pillow to help me breathe a little easier. Hope you're all staying healthy. I'm off to grab some more meds before I crash. Take it easy, everyone.

​~Roxy

When I became a Writer...

(Repost from Facebook, but after putting up the same pic on my #InstaWrimo challenge, I had to dig this up.)

STORY TIME!

A little over six years ago, I flew by myself to a hotel in Chicago. There was a little event going on there called the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention.

Now...here's the thing...I wasn't attending the event. I couldn't afford it. I wasn't even spending the night at the hotel the free shuttle took me to. I had scrimped and saved and raked together enough cash for the plane ticket and some cheap meals (which I never ended up using because everyone I met kept feeding me. LOL) Nope, I flew in, and went to the bar, because as one author mentor told me, "They can't kick you out of the bar!"

I was welcomed into a circle of women who chatted with me about their books, and their success, and then they did something awesome...they looked at me and said, "What are you writing?"

Me? Write? For real? Nah.

Then they asked me why not? And you know what...I couldn't come up with a good enough reason why not. Not to give them, and not even enough of a reason in my own mind.

I had a friend take me under her wing and sneak me into some rooms so I could see how the whole convention thing worked. I had other friends talk to me about contracts and how publishing worked, and I had even better friends smack me upside the head to knock some sense into me.

I laughed, I had a few drinks, and I found a storyteller inside myself. I found a home in Romancelandia. Every time I think about quitting or tell myself it's not worth putting another query out, I think back to myself sitting in the back of the shuttle to take me to the plane ride home.

Inside that dark shuttle I began shaking. Tears formed in my eyes and I couldn't keep them from falling no matter how desperately I tried. It was midnight when I was picked up from the airport, but I'd never been more awake than I was in that moment. I'm a romance writer. I love the genre. I love the stories. I love the people. This space I've carved out for myself is my home.

So when I see people say conferences aren't worth the money...we can agree to disagree, because those women (and a few men too!), changed my life. Their books woke me up to a new type of storytelling. Their open arms showed me I could do this. And now, their friendship has shown me I can't quit.

While you may not be able to afford a conference...email is free. Facebook is free. Goodreads is free. Twitter is free. Find your family, because they are out there.

And to everyone who met with me on April 12th, 2012...thank you. You changed me, and my ideas about myself. While I'm not signing books at sold out venues, I got my first publishing contract because of you. I sold my first book because of you. I have print books on my shelf with my name on them, because you made me ask myself, "Why not?"

To anyone who might be waffling on the idea of getting into this industry...flat out, writing is the most wonderful, terrifying, anxiety-inducing, rewarding, heart-wrenching business. But the first person who has to believe you can do it is you.

Are you thinking of writing but not doing it?

Why not?




~Roxy

Why I can no longer call myself a pantser...

That's it, you guys. I have to confess something. I've cheated on my pantser brethren. Yesterday, I finished up my first ever plot.

I know. I'll give you a few moments. Anyone who has been with me for the long term knows the vast majority of my plot lines are developed on the fly. My characters tell me the story and I go with it. They yelled so loud at points that I practically needed ear plugs to shut off the storylines. 

Which was awesome. It was. But then when writer's block came knocking, I wasn't prepared for it. I could start. No problem. Because there's something exciting and inspiring for me about a blank page no matter what my brain is going through. But when I'd get to that first beat where stuff would need to go wrong...all that inspiration and character driven story line was just gone.

Call it writer's block, or just a general muting of the HEA's in my mind because of the way the world is, whatever caused it, I was completely unable to finish a story. As in...there are at least 3 manuscripts over 50k on my computer right now that need an end. I had to put them aside.

Last month I decided I needed to get myself excited about something again. So I looked back and tried to remember the last time (sales or not) I had fun. It was when I worked on my April Fools For Love collection. (All the books are still available if you need a smile too.)

We wrote books that were funny, and had all kinds of pranks and misdirection surrounding April Fools Day. Every damn book I read by the talented people I worked with made me smile. So we're doing it again. (Look for an expanded collection in 2020, folks. *shameless plug*)

But all of that happy brings me back around to my very real fear of not being able to get to the end of a book. So I decided I'd give myself a month to plot out a novella-length story. My due date was yesterday, so of course I was still working on it yesterday. That's exactly why I need deadlines.

I had some basic notes and a premise for the story, but I didn't have a big moment or an ending. Which...are kind of important. 

This pantser then got on her ice-dancing Bambi baby legs, and skated around the internet to figure out what plotting meant to her. Her is me, by the way. I need to stop talking in third person. It's weird. But this moment was so epic for me that the drama kind of called for it.

So right now you're probably saying, "Get to it, Roxy. How did you plot?"

Alright, alright. Geez. I needed to set the scene, okay?

I made an excel spreadsheet. Because spreadsheets are awesome. I made 7 columns, after a little fiddling and adding some when I found I needed them. And I filled out the form.

The 7 pieces of information I gathered were...

1. Scene Number. 
This is just your basic 1,2,3...etc to show me the order, and when I need to be at the halfway point word count wise.

2. Characters.
Who is in each scene? And if I have a few characters that come into play later, I altered earlier scenes so they didn't pop up out of nowhere. This also let me tally how many players I was putting in this thing. With a novella, I need to keep the team slim.

3. Main Event.
This was a one sentence fragment description of what the scene was really about. Each scene has something important that happens, and this way, I'd know what the end goal was.

4. Setting.
Where is everyone for this scene? What place will they be interacting inside of? Just like the characters, I wanted to keep the settings to as few places as possible. That way I have familiarity and I don't have to spend as many words placing people in the world. 

5. POV (Point of View).
This was one of the columns that got added in, and became important when I was looking at how the story was progressing. I didn't want to spend five scenes with my hero and then bump over to my heroine for a single scene before bopping back to my hero again. So I put the name of whose point of view the scene would take place in.

6. Timeline.
Because the book I was plotting had a specific holiday it needed to take place around, the timeline was extra important, and I put the specific date (MM/DD) in for each scene. It let me figure out where the bulk of the action needed to take place, and gave me some scope of how long ago important events happened. 

7. Why it Matters.
This was one of the first things I wrote down along with the Main Event column. Because there is no point in having a scene if it doesn't add something to the story. If the Main Event is filler, or just gets a character from point A to point B, it's not worth writing down. I know I need this book to be a novella, and extraneous scenes have to get the ax. If I can see that something isn't worth having in, it gets cut.

So even before I had everything down in note form, I started filling in what I did have into my handy dandy spreadsheet. And the end practically wrote itself. You could have knocked this pantser over with a feather. 

My other worry about plotting was that I'd never want to write the story if I already knew what happened. But I was more excited than ever to get started, and had to force my feet to carry me away to get the chores done I'd been putting off all morning. And I think that was all because I didn't do what everyone else told me to. I didn't have an epic ten page synopsis detailing every scene. I didn't have a beats page lined up that broke each section down into the standardized beats of a story. Nope. I had my little old spreadsheet. 

And while I thought it might be interesting for some people to see how I broke my story down, I'm not at all saying you should totally do this my way. I'm saying explore what's out there, and explore how other people work. Try some things out. If they don't work, it's not because you failed, it's because you haven't found the right fit yet. 

I think I found my plotting glass slipper, and I'm about to rock that bitch on a killer night out. 

Or I'm heading into work and already thinking about the next book on my list to plug into my new template. 

Either way, I hope you find something that works well for you. Or just ride the pantser wave. I'll be writing this story, and another, since they are both novellas during NaNoWriMo this year. So make sure you add me as a buddy. I'm over there as Roxy Mews. Just look for the purple hair. Let's see together what happens in November when a pantser plots.

~Roxy

PloTember #NaNoWriMo

I have been told in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) circles, that October is called "Preptober", but I'm too excited about the projects I'm working on this year, and I want to get started now.

I scoured the internet...okay...I typed a few things into google and gave up. But I couldn't find if there were any official terms for September in the NaNoverse, so I'm dubbing my September as "Plotember". This pantser right here has been struggling with plotting and I'm going to change that this year. My goal is to have a basic, really really basic, outline of the major plot points, scenes, and the ending, along with the theme of the book done ahead of time.

Okay, soooooo my goal is to have it done today. Yeah. I'm on deadline. What better reason to be online typing up a blog post, am I right? 

I am working on a story that needs to tap out at the 30k words range, but I know myself and I want to "win" NaNo. So during my Plotember I'm not only going to fiddle with the plot I WILL finish up today, but also work out another story plot to keep me busy after I hit my first "The End" of the month.

And because I always seem to do better when I pile more things on my plate, I thought I'd add in an IG photo challenge.  You can find info about NaNoWriMo's challenge on their blog (blog.nanowrimo.org) or just follow their instagram @NaNoWriMo. 

I'm following along and playing too, because I want something to keep my eye on the prize this year.

Are you already thinking about NaNoWriMo? Or are you cursing me reminding you how close this challenge and the holidays are?

I'm personally getting excited for Halloween and the pop up costume stores that have already started sneaking into my town, that may or may not have a feature in my project.

If you're playing along with NaNoWriMo's photo challenge, let me know so I can follow you. And if you want to follow me on Instagram, just search for @RoxyMews. I'll be (attempting to) post pictures all month. First challenge is a selfie. Anyone who follows me knows I've got that one in the bag. 

Let's get ready to kick Plotember's ass, and be ahead of schedule for Preptober. First things first...I need to log off and figure out how my story ends!

~Roxy

Looks like I'll be moving soon...

I've been hosting this website on Weebly for quite some time. I'd enjoyed the UI, and despite the crappy analytics, I stayed because I enjoyed the way my site looked and I was able to add everything with no cost. That did change a few months back, and they started charging for features that had previously been free, but it's a moot point because...

The honeymoon is officially over and I'm about to head onto greener pastures. The new owner of Weebly is Square, and the very first update they've put through on their user agreement is "No Adult Content". 

Why you wouldn't want adults to use and access your products...I don't know. 

I do plan on continuing the daily blogging here until I get a new cushy space set up for myself, but I'm debating on moving my content over. I'd basically be re-writing all my blog posts. Damn. I've been daily blogging and moving all this over is daunting. Do any of you go back and reference past content? Tell me below if there are pieces of this site you'd like to see make the transition over.

I'll keep all of you updated on the process and if any downtime is coming in the future. But I own the RoxyRockMe.com domain outside of Weebly (Thank goodness), so if you're looking for me, that URL will always lead you in the right direction.

Website host shopping is like a horrible dating game, and while your suitors put on a sexy outfit, when you get to know them, they want you to pick up the bill. Then they usually have a whole family they want to move in with you after a month of fun, and not one of them wants to do the dishes.

There's also been some changes I'd needed to address with the recent Chrome Update, so this is a good time to take stock and figure out where I'll land. 

Do you have a website? What places do you enjoy working with? Are there any locations I should run screaming from? Or any analytics that make your heart pitter pat with pretty graphs?

Tell me all the things you love about online content. Because it looks like I'm going to have the chance to set up something brand new within the next month.

​~Roxy

My opinion on Public Apologies

I am not one to enjoy or go looking for drama. I'd much rather live in my little bubble where I can pretend everyone gets along with each other. Now...don't get me wrong. When I see a lot of subtweeting, does my nosey ass want to know exactly what all these folks are pissed about? Hell, yes! But I try not to go looking for it if it's not in my face.

YouTube videos have been my obsession for quite some time now. I'd much rather consume content through that platform than television. I can't remember the last time I turned on the TV for something other than video games. That might change when Superstore comes back, but otherwise, I'm on my computer.

And something I've noticed a TON of lately, are apology videos. They've been littering my home page. Often titled, "I'm sorry..." or "My truth..." or "I need to be honest..." these videos are long trips down the excuse highway. If I'm coming to your channel to try and figure out how to finally do a damn cat eye (which still hasn't happened. I'm hopeless), I don't want to hear you ramble for 45 minutes about your tweets from five years ago.

I'm pretty sure I've talked about this before, but I'm not going digging for it, so here's an article about how to apologize that I've referenced. Apologies don't need to be long and tear-filled to be done well. Like the article says...

1. Really be sorry
2. Validate the other person's feelings (And this doesn't mean some half-assed apology with "I'm sorry some people felt that way..." Fuck that. Apologize for what you did, not that people were offended.)
3. Explain what happened (Not how you're not really at fault...just the now understood incorrect frame of mind that got you there)
4. Admit your mistakes (Which is kind of the same thing as 3 IMO)
5. Explain what you'll do differently from here on out.

That does not take 45 minutes of video, youtubers. 

I appreciate it when people say they're sorry for things. I do. However, let's not turn it into a spectacle for you to cash in on. Which is why your video is so long in the first place, right? More commercial breaks?

Public apologies are weird in general, because most people don't need to make a statement when they fuck up. But folks in the public eye feel they need to parade themselves in front of a camera to emphasize how sorry they are. My opinion is, unless you change your actions, your vocalization of your fuck up doesn't mean shit.

Honestly, if you change what you're doing, unless you've personally wronged me, I don't need the apology at all. And if you've personally wronged me, you need to tell me you're sorry, not put it in a video.

What is your opinion on the public apology trend on YouTube lately? Or on public apologies in general? Do you think they are necessary? Do you think they are effective? I'd love to hear your thoughts. 

​~Roxy

That "On-Call" Life

Hubby was promoted earlier this year. It was great for our financial picture, but not so hot for my schedule. Part of hubby's new role is taking customer calls for his team. Whenever they come in. And let me tell you, people are not at all considerate of what time of day it is. You not knowing how to reset your television box is not an excuse to call my husband at 11pm, Linda.

If you're making a complaint call, here's a pro-tip...be nice. If you are reasonable, people are likely to bend over backwards to help you. If you're an asshole, then don't expect anyone to go above and beyond.

Unfortunately, there's no way to screen these calls, and hubs has to have his phone on in case someone from his team calls off. Which also happens way too much, IMO. 

Hubby has the patience to do the job, but I'm struggling to have the patience to adapt to this new lifestyle. Which is why I've been on this big productivity and organization kick. Since he needs time to settle into his new job, I'm taking on a lot more responsibility at home. Meaning everything involved in day-to-day stuff for the whole family. He helps out as much as he can, but I need to keep track for the days he's gone. Running a family, especially on one vehicle isn't the easiest task. So I'm struggling.

But beyond the "on-call" lifestyle, I've realized that working from home means you're never off work. Ever. Turning on your computer, getting notifications that you know will only take a second to reply to or fix, means that you tend to work ALL THE TIME. 

So I'm trying out a few things.

1. Sprints are for more than just writing.

I've started using a timer to get cleaning done. Where I'd start cleaning and stop at the first notification blip before, I wait until my 20 minutes is up. I still answer phone calls, because I have to, but once the call is done, I reset the timer and try again. I'm always shocked at how much I accomplish in such a short time when I give myself permission to walk away from the the dings.

2. Meals are a priority.

Everything seems worse when I'm hungry. So no matter what I'm doing, I stop for lunch and dinner. And water consumption is important too. Using my 20 minute timer as a signal to refill my water bottle has helped me make sure I'm staying hydrated. My lips aren't as chapped since I started doing this, either. Which is nice, and tells me exactly how much I was neglecting my body before.

3. Top 3 

Because both hubs and I are at the mercy of other people for the majority of our days, schedules are more like guidelines. I might make a list of up to ten tasks that I'm going to try and tackle for the day, but I always break down a "Top 3". These things are usually meetings, showers, and feeding the family. If the whole day goes to shit, I drop everything else and move to the Top 3. If I get those three things accomplished, I'm okay. 

I also have a weekly To Do list in my planner of items I want to get accomplished. So if I find myself ahead of schedule for the day, I'll grab one of those items and try to check it off. 



The biggest lesson I've had these past few months, is that I have to be okay with being in charge of my reactions instead of my path. People are going to throw a wrench in my plans no matter how beautiful of a time block I create. Sometimes I self-sabotage that plan too, if I'm being real honest. The only thing I am one hundred percent in control of is how I react. 

Taking on a day with an I've-got-this attitude beats the heck out of a This-whole-day-is-ruined one. Maybe that's me becoming a mature adult?

*glances at fanfic notes about alien probes* 

Nah...I doubt it.


~Roxy

Seven Bribes for Seven Tasks

Seven is supposed to be a lucky number, so I'm going to start my day with writing down seven tasks I want to accomplish. 

Productivity is going to live here today. And there aren't going to be any excuses. Or at least no excuses that are going to stop me from getting shit done.

I am all about bribing and bargaining with myself to accomplish what I want. I found an awesome little article that had ideas for "155 ways to reward yourself", and I thought, hell...there have got to be at least 7 I can use today that are within my budget and time constraints. Of course, I couldn't find many I wanted, but they did get my ideas flowing.

I've already knocked one task off my To Do list today, and this blog will be another. Already at 2 of 7 done? Heck, yeah.

So what I'm going to do is think of 7 things to reward myself with if I can accomplish all my tasks.

My seven bribes of today are... 

1. Starbucks fancy coffee drink
One of my other tasks is at Sbux, so I'm going to try and accomplish something else and see if I can get this reward while I'm there.

2. Paint my toenails
I've managed to get the glitter polish off my toes, but haven't had the chance to repaint. I'm going to give myself permission to pamper when I get another task done.

3. Sing loudly to a new fav song 
I'm currently obsessed with Honestly by Gabbie Hanna. I'm going to sing loudly with earbuds in to drown out my own voice.

4. Eat a fudge pop
I have resisted the box of fudgsicles in my freezer. Accomplishing a task will give me permission to splurge.

5. 30 minute listen to current audio book
Right now I'm listening to Wolf With Benefits by Shelly Laurenston. I'm 10 hours in and it's a struggle to put it down, so I'm saving this one for near the end.

6. 10 minutes of phone games. 
I'm on a streak in candy crush soda. So I've got all kinds of fancy candies waiting for me to crush them.

7. Listen to a podcast.
The "Special Secret Content" is out for Print Run, and I'm dying to dig in. 

What are your favorite bribes? Let's make our own list, because one of the ones on the list I linked is to re-organize your closet, and I'm not about that life. Let's convince our inner procrastination to take a hike together.

~Roxy

What makes you smile?

This blog is going to be a bit free form. I was drinking out of my favorite coffee mug today, and a grin crossed my face. Something as simple as a mug that feels good in my hand, holds a massive amount of coffee, and is visually appealing to me, made my face make the massive effort of tipping up the corners of my mouth.

Why is that a big deal? Well, for a lot of reasons. But the main one that got me thinking on it was the twelve hour work shift I pulled yesterday. We had a kid walk off the job without notice and because my store runs so close to the wire with employees, it set off a shit storm that is going to take a good week to dig out of. Oh, by the way kid, fuck you.

Yet here I am this morning, getting ready to head back to the evil day job, and I'm smiling. Everyone has different definitions of happiness and lofty goals they aspire to where they think happiness grows like weeds. As I'm getting...ahem...more mature...I'm realizing there's no one place for a person where happiness lives. There's no grand accomplishment that is going to have a smile permafixed on your face.

So it's moments like the one I'm having right now that mean the world. A mug from the dollar tree made me smile today. Sometimes a cute sticker placed in my planner gives me a giggle. A good book that makes me laugh out loud can make my day brighter. That's my happiness. 

Daily struggles, and difficult meetings (like the one I'm going to have to go to tomorrow) have weighed me down so much in recent years that I forgot to keep my eyes open for the joy. 

I'm keeping a gratitude space open in my planner now. For the last 9 weeks, I've written just a fragment of a sentence of something I'm grateful for. Even if I've had a bad day, there's always something good buried inside it. This morning, I woke up an hour before my alarm. Damn cat. But although I could look at it as something bad, I realized, luxuriating in the A/C and snuggling under a blanket was so nice after a difficult and hot day at work yesterday. 

I found the happiness. Training my brain has taken me some serious time, but putting in that little bit of effort every single day has helped me realize I have so much to be happy for. 

I'm off to do my meditation, before getting ready for work. But before I go, I have a challenge for you...

Write down one thing that made you happy today. Or if you're reading this as your day gets started, write down one thing you are grateful for from yesterday. Put it in your planner, or write it on a post-it. Take pen to paper and put something that makes you smile front and center. 

Life is too short not to find the joy.

​~Roxy