Angela Grey's Blog, page 9

Book review: This Song Will Save Your Life by Leila Sales

Farrar Straus Giroux, 2013

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

This book is about a misfit trying to find her place in the world. For most of her life, Elise has been an outsider when it comes to making friends. So the summer before her sophomore year, Elise uses current trends and fashion in one last attempt to be accepted by her peers. However, it goes horribly wrong, and Elise attempts suicide but realizes that she isn’t serious about it. When Elise, an avid music lover, has trouble sleeping, she goes on long walks, and one night she happens upon a hidden dance club. Elise feels that she has finally found a place to fit in with the kids in the club in addition to the DJ playing the music.

Elise’s road to acceptance and freedom isn’t smooth, and through the bumps along the way she finally finds who she’s meant to be. Elise is smart and funny and very relatable. She is so real and suffers from such a painful combination of self-scrutiny, naivety about others, and deep convictions about what’s really important in life and who is really on her side, half of which are wrong. Most of her observations and sentiments are spot on, though some of her interactions with her family seem to be her pretending to be someone else. It does deal with tough subjects of suicide, fitting in and cyber bullying in a moving, insightful, inspiring and often comedic way.

Elise’s love of music is a huge part of her story, and there are many references to bands and songs throughout, so some teens or twenty-somethings will love it. Older readers might not be interested enough to follow Elise on her journey of self-acceptance. Others will see it as a brilliant story about a young woman trying to find where she fits in the world, discovering her talents & joy through music and finding her own sense of community which will make it a fun, inspiring read.

Enjoyed this post? Why not check out my YA novels or Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Bookbub , or AllAuthor.

Anti-anxiety Hobbies

Hobbies for People with Anxiety

1. Writing Expressively:

Expressive writing is a highly effective anxiety management technique and once you start to notice the benefits you are likely to get pleasure from engaging in this activity.

I found that regularly writing about what happened in my childhood and how that made me feel was incredibly healing.

2. Listening to Calming Music: 

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2424" width="268" height="178" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 268w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 534w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 268px) 85vw, 268px" />Photo by Burst on Pexels.com

Regularly listening to calming music can be a highly effective way to calm down quickly and ease your anxiety symptoms.

One study in 2017 concluded that:

Music listening is associated with a decreased level of anxiety and distress.

This is one of my favorite hobbies for relieving anxiety, because I realized very early on that each time I would put on my headphones and listen to relaxing sounds my anxiety would start to ease instantly. I found this to be incredible and putting on calming music became one of my emergency anti-anxiety measures.

3. Reading Empowering Books:

A 2009 study at the University of Minnesota found that reading can reduce stress by up to 68%, so this is a highly effective hobby for people suffering from stress and anxiety.

Reading powerful books by beautiful authors helped me to get out a very dark anxiety hole.

If you don’t have the time to read, you can listen to all of these books instead by signing up to a platform such as Audible.

4. Going for Walks:

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2415" width="247" height="164" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 247w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 492w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 247px) 85vw, 247px" />Photo by Noelle Otto on Pexels.com

Being physically active is essential for managing anxiety because exercise stimulates the release of endorphins, hormones that makes us naturally feel good.

It also helps to release excess energy, which if not released would make you more anxious.

But the trouble is, anxiety as a condition can be very exhausting and overwhelming and so it is often hard to find the motivation to do any form of exercise.

That’s why I recommend gentle physical activities for people with anxiety, and in my experience, walking is the best form of exercise for anxiety relief.

5. Connecting with Animals :

Thor (Cocker Spaniel & Cavalier King Charles mix)

Spending time with animals—by playing with them and stroking them—can be a great hobby for managing anxiety.

Getting a pet would be of course an amazing solution for that, but it’s also not essential. You can always volunteer at rescue centers by offering to walk their dogs or play with their cats.

The reason animals have such a great effect on your mental health is because, according to research interacting with them can increase the levels of “the love hormone” oxytocin and decrease levels of “the stress hormone” cortisol, which has a calming effect on the body and mind.

For example, one study, showed that,

Interaction between owners and their dogs’ results in increasing levels of oxytocin in both owners and dogs, whereas cortisol levels decrease in the owners, but increase in the dogs

6. Dancing in Your Own Home 

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2418" width="242" height="160" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 240w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 480w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 242px) 85vw, 242px" />Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

It might sound silly but dancing in your house or apartment when no one is watching is another great hobby for releasing tension and anxiety.

I like to put on my favorite songs and dance; you may even like dancing like crazy, doing lots of jumping, and freestyle movements.

7. Getting into Yoga:

 Yoga is an ancient technique that is very beneficial for managing anxiety.

Anxiety makes us tense, irritable and inflexible, while yoga can work to reverse all of these, plus nourish us with a whole host of other health benefits. 

A lot of people are hesitant about trying yoga because they think they won’t be able to get into certain positions, but I can assure you that anyone can practice yoga. Yoga is about connecting with your own body, mind and soul, and everyone else is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter what the other people are doing, all that matters is that you are listening to your body and doing what you can do. I have fallen in love with yoga, and it has become a big part of me. I just practice for myself, and I don’t care how I look to anyone else. Yoga has helped me to improve my breathing which is essential for managing anxiety.

8. Cooking Enjoyable Anti-Anxiety Meals

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2420" width="272" height="180" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 270w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 540w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 272px) 85vw, 272px" />Photo by Ella Olsson on Pexels.com

Healthy eating is necessary for reducing and managing anxiety. But when we start to eat healthily it can be hard to stick with it because we don’t know how to make tasty meals that are healthy and also, we often don’t know what to eat.

That’s why searching for healthy recipes and experimenting in the kitchen is a great hobby to adopt because it can help you eat healthily long-term, which can make enormous positive changes to your anxiety levels.

But that’s not all, cooking as an activity has shown to benefit mental health.

One study showed that adolescents with the most cooking skills reported a greater sense of mental well-being, as well as less symptoms of depression.

9. Watching Inspirational Movies:

Watching inspirational movies and documentaries, or movies based on a true story, can be very uplifting and motivational to encourage us to make positive changes in our lives.

I have found that watching such movies benefits me the most in the evening after a long day to help me calm down and unwind.  

10. Create Beautiful Pictures or Paintings:

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2416" width="228" height="285" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 228w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 456w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 120w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 240w" sizes="(max-width: 228px) 85vw, 228px" />Photo by Matheus Viana on Pexels.com

Whether it’s photography or painting, I find these activities extremely relaxing and fun, and it’s also a great way for me to be present in the moment (mindfulness) which is an anxiety alleviator, especially out in nature.

 

Enjoyed this post? Why not check out my YA novels or Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Bookbub , or AllAuthor.

Anxiety and Nutrition, specifically Carbohydrates

“What a strange combination? What have carbs got to do with anxiety?”

According to Harvard Medical School, natural foods rich in carbohydrates including whole grains, vegetables, legumes and fruit, are an essential element of a healthy and balanced diet but are also some of the best anti-anxiety foods. These foods are a good source of complex carbohydrates and fiber, provide a slow release of energy and are stable on blood sugar. But that’s not all, natural whole foods contain many other beneficial nutrients necessary for mental and physical health.

So, despite increased popularity of low carb and keto diets, carbs belong in your diet, and natural foods rich in carbs are very important foods for managing mental health.

What are Carbohydrates?

There are three types of carbohydrates: sugars, starches, and fiber.

Sugars are simple carbohydrates.Starches and fiber are complex carbohydrates.[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2394" width="-150" height="-100" />Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

Due to their simplicity, sugars absorb rapidly into the bloodstream and give a quick release of energy. But sugars (simple carbs) can affect blood sugar levels causing sudden spikes and dips. Low blood sugar can in turn affect anxiety levels. When your blood sugar drops suddenly, this signals hunger to the brain, which can activate the flight-or-fight response (stress response), causing irritability, nervousness, and other classic anxiety symptoms.

In contrast …

According to Harvard Medical School, 

Complex carbohydrates are metabolized more slowly and therefore help maintain a more even blood sugar level, which creates a calmer feeling.– Harvard Medical School

Carbohydrates are found in both natural (good carbs) and refined foods (bad carbs). Taking all of the above into account, the best source of carbohydrates for health and managing anxiety are natural foods high in complex carbohydrates.

How to Manage Anxiety with Carbs?1. Choose The Best Source of Carbs 

If fruit and legumes are natural foods, a good source of carbohydrates and contain vitamins, minerals, and more why are they not the best source of carbs?

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2389" width="316" height="473" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 316w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 632w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 100w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 200w" sizes="(max-width: 316px) 85vw, 316px" />Photo by Ian Turnell on Pexels.com2. Limit Fruit and Legumes

Fruit and legumes are healthy but while you can have whole grains and veggies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, fruit and legumes need to be limited.

Fruits are high in natural sugars and if consumed in large quantities can affect blood sugar levels. Two pieces of fruit a day is healthy and sufficient.Legumes are a good source of protein and a great meat replacement for lunch or dinner. But since we need protein in relatively smaller quantities than carbohydrates, legumes should also be limited.

So, it’s still important to consume fruits and legumes as part of health eating, but the bulk of your calories need to come from vegetables and whole grains.

Get into the habit of using the glycemic index to check which vegetables are better for your blood sugar. The lower the glycemic index, the more stable the effect on blood sugar.

Examples of Good Carbs

Vegetables such as Acorn squash, Artichoke, Asparagus, Bok choy, Beans, Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, Butternut squash, Cabbage, Carrots, Cauliflower, Celery, Chives, Green, red, yellow pepper, Kale, Leek, Onions, Parsnip, Potato, Pumpkin, Radish, Spinach, Sweet potato, and others

Whole Grains such as Barley, Corn, Oats, Quinoa, Brown, red, black and wild rice

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2390" width="334" height="215" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 334w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 668w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 334px) 85vw, 334px" />Photo by NEOSiAM 2021 on Pexels.com

Legumes such as Chickpeas, Lentils, Peas, Kidney Beans, Black Beans, Soybeans, Pinto Beans

Fruit such as Apple, Apricot, Banana, Blackberry, Blueberry, Cherry, Cranberry, Grape, Raisin, Grapefruit, Kiwi fruit, Mango, Melon, Cantaloupe, Watermelon, Nectarine, Papaya, Peach, Pear, Plum, Prune, Pineapple, Pomegranate, Raspberry, Strawberry

3. Avoid Bad Carbs

When plant-based foods are refined, we have refined carbohydrates. For example, whole wheat grain is refined to produce white flour. During this refinement process, wheat grain is stripped of fiber, vitamins, minerals, phytochemicals, and healthy fats, leaving behind only the starchy carbohydrate. Manufacturers also commonly use bleaching agents, additives, preservatives, colorings, flavorings, and other chemical ingredients which are bad for our health and can trigger anxiety. If foods are minimally refined, i.e. in the case of whole-wheat flour, then some of the nutrients are still retained. But foods such as pizza, cakes, chocolate, and similar are examples of heavily refined carbohydrates, and these are bad carbs.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2398" width="-770" height="-1154" />Photo by Bulut Tuncay on Pexels.com

Bad carbs are poor in nutrients, can be very inflammatory, and should be avoided. Refined carbs are likely to impact blood sugar levels and anxiety levels, according to Harvard Medical School.

What are some of the side effects of consuming bad carbs? Due to the poor nutritional content and commonly added chemical ingredients and bleaching agents, refined carbs can cause or contribute to many health issues and chronic diseases. For example:

Anxiety and DepressionObesity Diabetes Dementia Alzheimer’s disease Inflammatory bowel diseaseCancerHeart disease Kidney disease Fatty liverOther mental health disorders 4. Become Good at Spotting Bad Carbs

Refined carbs are all sugars and starches excluding those in the form of natural whole foods. It might be easy for most of us to identify sugars because they taste sweet. Also, they usually come in the form of crystals, syrups, or powders. Refined starches such as refined grains, however, are a lot more confusing.

To help you, here are the main categories of refined carbohydrates:

REFINED SUGARS – Also referred to as added sugar. I.e. table sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, brown sugar, fruit juice concentrate. Manufacturers add refined sugar to foods as a sweetener or as a preservative. They use over 90 different names for refined sugars.FRUIT JUICES – Purchased juices go through a heavy industrial process.ALL KINDS OF FLOUR  – Also, from any type of grain. I.e. wheat flour, rice, and corn flours. Note, whole meal flours are less refined and healthier.INSTANT/REFINED GRAINS – including breakfast cereals, white rice, and instant rice.REFINED STARCHES – i.e. corn starch, potato starch, modified food starch. Or any powdered ingredient with the word “starch” in it.5. Adopt an Anti-Anxiety Diet

According to Harvard Medical School, introducing complex carbohydrates into your diet is a great way to manage anxiety. But it’s also important to consume balanced meals, stay hydrated, reduce caffeine, cut out processed foods, eat magnesium-rich foods, get enough omega 3 fatty acids and follow many other anti-anxiety diet techniques

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2397" width="323" height="484" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 323w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 646w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 100w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 200w" sizes="(max-width: 323px) 85vw, 323px" />Photo by Ata Ebem on Pexels.com

Enjoyed this post? Why not check out my YA novels or Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Bookbub , or AllAuthor.

Book review: All the Things We Never Said by Yasmin Rahman

Hot Key, 2019

As soon as I read the subject matter of this boldly designed book, I knew that I had to devour it. It’s a character driven; UK Young Adult contemporary novel based on mental health. Not to be disappointed when I began reading, I was drawn into the stories of the three girls. I loved the author’s note at the beginning which really set the tone for the book.

The book tells the story of 3 young girls from 3 very different lives, but they all have one sad fact in common, the want to die.  As a result the girls each sign up to a website that is designed to pair people with other people who want to die. But it is this pack that brings the 3 girls together and allows them to find the support that they each needed. 

As I learnt more about why Mehreen, Olivia and Cara had joined MementoMori. I really began to connect and empathize with the diverse characters which weren’t the sole focus of the story and didn’t define the characters entirely. Mehreen’s religion was an important factor, but she was so much more than just that and was such a real character that, despite me being from a totally different background, I could relate. I found it to be the same with all the characters and that was something that I think Yasmin really excelled at with this novel and its unusual typeface

So, the website sets a time place and course of death for the girls, and as the date of termination (as it is referred to) approaches the girls have to complete a task that is set and send photographic proof. The first 2 tasks the girls do with easy, but it is when the 3rd task arrives that the girls admit that they have changed their minds. 

The problem is the website doesn’t want to let the girls out. After all, they signed up and agreed to the terms and conditions. Pushing the girls to their breaking point the girls begin to crumble and turn on each other.  

This is an interesting book, but as I first mentioned you need to be careful when reading this story as it is an emotional and mental journey. It has to be noted that this book contains many triggers, for those that vulnerable to such material. Topics touched upon, besides suicide, include self-harm, rape and severe anxiety and depression. I personally was okay with all of these and found that they were handled very sensitively and not in a way that made for uncomfortable reading.

All the Things We Never Said is not a typical YA book. I believe that it is a book that can help to open dialogue and get people talking about their feelings and issues, instead of hiding behind a mask that so many people use today to hide how they are truly feeling.

This book highlights the importance of speaking, talking about your problems, and how you are feeling. As it is through these actions, the characters realize that they are not alone and that the simple act of talking to someone openly and honestly can change your perspective.

An audiobook is also available for those that may have issues with the typeface.

Enjoyed this post? Why not check out my YA novels or Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Bookbub , or AllAuthor.

Book review: Wild Awake by Hilary T. Smith

Katherine Tegen Books, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, 2013

Seventeen-year-old Vancouver rocker and classically trained pianist Kiri Byrd is home practicing her art while alone for the summer since her parents are off on a cruise. Pretty early into her stay at home, Kiri’s plans go awry when she receives a mysterious call to pick up some of her deceased older sister’s belongings in a sketchy part of town. Kiri forms a bond with sister Sukey’s troubled neighbor and with a boy named Skunk that alter her views of many things.

At first it seems that Kiri is simply coming into her own, gaining wisdom, and accepting life’s unpredictability, but soon it becomes clear that Kiri (manic) is also losing control because the experience of dealing with the shocking truth causes her to tumble into a downward spiral, so Kiri’s mental state is alarmingly called into question. Reader will sense the narrative becoming less lucid, more frantic, and questionably mentally ill as is that of her new romance who is paranoid.

Kiri is a musician, preparing for the Young Pianists’ Showcase, which means dedicated practice and now she’s not sleeping and manically playing at 5 a.m., while her thoughts go wild and then subdued again. Due in most part to the author’s convincing dialogue and moving characterizations this young adult, coming-of-age novel blurs the lines between genius and madness, love and loss, demands and freedom, perception and reality, peace and turmoil. The debut author’s embracing of the complexities of grief, family dynamics, creativity, mental illness, and love pens them with a thoughtful, subtle hand. Despite how we as readers may fear for Kiri, she’s unabashed in how she lives her life, and it’s both exhausting and exhilarating to watch.

Enjoyed this post? Why not check out my YA novels or Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Bookbub , or AllAuthor.

Lessen Depression through Thought Control

Depressive thinking is unrealistic and unfair:
1. unrealistic negative thoughts about your situation
2. unfair negative thoughts about yourself
3. unrealistic negative thoughts about your future

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2403" width="322" height="214" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 322w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 642w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 322px) 85vw, 322px" />Photo by Liza Summer on Pexels.com

The plan should be to replace depressive thinking with realistic thinking.

First, is spotting depressive thoughts: Here are the most common types of depressive thinking:

1. all or nothing: seeing situations as totally one way or the other.

2. perfectionism: where you think that you have to be the best in the situation, or it means that you failed.

3. overgeneralizing: based on one negative event, you expect that things will continue to go wrong; or based on one negative fact, you assume that everything else in the situation is negative.

4. labeling: talking oneself in a harsh way, calling yourself names like “loser”, or whatever the worst insults are for you. This kind of self-labeling is unfair.

5. exaggerating: exaggerating risks and expect the worst possible thing to happen.

6. mind-reading: imagining that other people are criticizing or rejecting you, even when you don’t have any real reason to think that.

7. filtering: paying close attention to events that are disappointing or to critical comments from others. When something positive happens, you ignore it and you treat praise as unimportant

Realistic thinking is:
1. accurate about your situation, seeing things clearly as they are;
2. fair about yourself, looking in a balanced way at the positive and negatives in your life;
3. accurate about your future, not exaggerating bad outcomes.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2405" width="299" height="448" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 299w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 598w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 100w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 200w" sizes="(max-width: 299px) 85vw, 299px" />Photo by KoolShooters on Pexels.com

Altering depressive thoughts by asking yourself these realistic questions: (preferably on paper because it helps in seeing it clearly):

What proof do I have? Would most people agree with this thought?If not, what would be a more realistic thought?Can I get more proof, like asking someone about the situation?What would I say to a friend in a similar situation?What is a less extreme way of looking at the situation?What will happen if I think this way? Is there another way of thinking that is more encouraging or useful?

Enjoyed this post? Why not check out my YA novels or Native American mystery series on Amazon, or follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, LinkedIn, Bookbub , or AllAuthor.

Self-harm with Mental Illness

Discovering that your child is self-harming is profoundly shocking and upsetting for every parent; but it’s quite likely that your child is self-harming in ways you haven’t even noticed. Plus, they may or may not outgrow it as adults self-injure as well.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2313" width="320" height="212" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 318w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 636w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 320px) 85vw, 320px" />Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Self-harming is an epidemic that affects many people, especially the young: 9% of girls self-harm in the USA and 6.7% of boys reported non-suicidal self-injury. And those numbers don’t reflect the study participants who chose to keep it hidden.

Most of the coverage of self-harm in the media focuses on cutting, referencing children with self-inflicted wounds on their arms. But the reality is, this is only one form of self-harm, and many other forms get overlooked, as do adults who do non-suicidal self-injury. 

Signs and symptoms of self-injury may include:

scars, or a pattern of scarsfresh cuts, scratches, bruises, bite marks or other woundsexcessive rubbing of an area to create a burnkeeping sharp objects on handwearing long sleeves or long pants, even in hot weatherfrequent accidental injuriesinterpersonal relationship difficultiesbehavioral and emotional instability, impulsivity and unpredictabilitystatements of helplessness, hopelessness or worthlessness

The following list will help you identify other ways that your child may be self harming:

Most Common: scratching, pinching, cutting, burning, hair pulling, and ripped skin

Less Common and often overlooked: Eating too much/too little, excessive exercise, and self-isolation. These often-overlooked examples are ways that young people self-harm, affect their bodies and their health over longer periods of time.

Another set of behaviors that can be neglected are aggressive tendencies such as: punching walls, getting into fights, and putting themselves in risky situation such as promiscuity.      

Why do young people self-harm? The reasons behind self-injury are complex and unique to each child, because each child/adolescent self-harms for different reasons. The most frequent reason was relief from thoughts or feelings (overwhelming emotions). Some of the other most common reasons include schoolwork struggles, loneliness, being bullied, underlying mental health difficulties, and many more everyday stressors.

This illness usually starts in the early teens (but school statistics questionnaires find it common as early as third grade) but can go way into adulthood, and most of the time includes an underlying illness such as depression or anxiety.

Book review: Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira

Farrar Straus Giroux, 2014

When Laurel starts writing letters to dead people for a school assignment, she begins to spill about her sister’s mysterious death, her mother’s departure from the family, her new friends, and her first love. —adapted from cover

Clever approach used in telling this compelling and well-written story. This book was beautiful with a wonderful protagonist, and an amazingly intricate and complex cast of supporting characters. Laurel starts a school assignment by writing a letter to a person who has died. So, it’s told solely through letters to different famous dead people, (such as Kurt Cobain, Judy Garland, Heath Ledger, and Amelia Earhart Laurel) as it explains her life after her older sister dies. She keeps writing more stories to work out her feelings of all the events she has had in her life like the “fairy” moments and witchcraft that she and her sister shared.

The story reminds me of Speak at some points. The events slowly reveal what happened to her and she learns how to help herself. After the accident Laurel wants to start fresh so she starts at a new high school, meets new friends and starts to act like her sister to feel like she’s still there. And it’s through these letters she begins to be able to talk about what happened and Laurel finds out who she really is.

This book was heartbreaking and stunning in every aspect and reminiscent of Perks of Being a Wallflower and 13 Reasons Why. Its honesty as it deals with grief and growth struck me as wholeheartedly beautiful. The story was dark at times, anxiety-inducing as you watch the main character deal with her issues in not-so-healthy ways but empowering in the end. Not only that, but this book gives some really great music suggestions. Fans of any John Green novel should definitely give this book a try. And the author is currently writing a screenplay—this would make an excellent film!

Book review: (Don’t) Call Me Crazy

33 Voices Start the Conversation About Mental Health

Algonquin Young Readers, 2018

To understand mental health, we need to talk open about it. This (Don’t) Call Me Crazy collection explores a wide range of topics, from the authors’ personal experiences with mental illness and understanding how our brains are wired, to exploring the do’s and don’ts of talking about mental health.—adapted from back cover

(Don’t) Call Me Crazy is a gathering of short stories, essays, poetry, and art published by American author and former librarian Kelly Jensen. Formatted like a scrapbook, the collection contains 33 works written by different authors who have in some way grappled with mental illness. They explore the personal and public dimensions of illness, including rhetoric about mental health, the science of the brain, and misconceptions and stereotypes. Taken as a whole, the works seek to normalize discourse about mental health, making clear that no one suffers in solitude.

This anthology comprises a diverse range of authors and genres. In one, formatted as a comic strip, author Gemma Correll brings an illustrative depth to an anxiety disorder, inviting readers into her stylistic universe while suggesting that anxiety’s emotional universe is open to everybody. Another comic, by Yumi Sakugawa, uses calm imagery to transmit her journey from despising to loving her body and mind. Hannah Bae writes about growing up in a Korean American family with a paranoid mother and emotionally abusive father, and how she struggled to form an identity while constantly worrying about them. Bae ultimately left her parents to forge her own path, exchanging anxiety for guilt but soothing it through therapy.

Libba Bray personifies her obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety, while Stephanie Kuehn describes life with misophonia (selective sound sensitivity syndrome). Adam Silvera dispels the myth that successful or cheerful individuals don’t experience depression; Emery Lord seethes at the ignorant remarks about suicide she overhears at a Vincent van Gogh exhibit. Shaun David Hutchinson emphasizes that depression may live in your skin, but it does not control you. Monique Bedard offers a moving prose poem about the pernicious, lasting effects of the systemic abuse of Native women.

Jensen includes authors who are diverse along several spectra. Aside from a racially diverse cast, she includes LGBTQ voices and the voices of those who live with disabilities. In an essay by Shaun David Hutchinson, the author acknowledges that his depression is part of his identity, but not essential to it. He writes in response to the reductive language used by his boyfriend and employer that characterizes him as “depressed” first and foremost. Other authors, such as S. Jae-Jones, have similar problems with reductive language. Jae-Jones terminates a friendship after she finds that her friend has always seen her as a manic pixie dream girl. Having experienced a real manic episode, she knows exactly how damaging the stereotype can be. This anthology is a must read for those seeking to learn more about mental illness, families with loved ones that have disabilities, or as a reference or resource for any school library.

Mental Health Breaks

Staying calm is a major aim of self-care but so is staying regulated which is maintaining enough in control of your body and emotions so as to not get overwhelmed to the point of feeling helpless in the first place. The following is a list of suggestions to work short (3-5 minute) breaks for mental health into your day. See the importance for taking breaks. Or visit the Science Behind Mental Health Breaks. A number of these are meant for those of us that work from home.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2304" width="325" height="216" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 325w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 648w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 325px) 85vw, 325px" />Photo by Elle Hughes on Pexels.com

1. Connect to the world outside of work:  Call, text, email, or Facetime a friend or family member because healthy connections facilitate safety and consequently regulation. There is literally an entire part of our nervous system that is responsible for social engagement. The specific nerve involved with our social engagement system influences our basic physiological functions, such as breathing and heart rate and is involved in our stress response process. Need stress relief? Phone a friend!   

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2294" width="346" height="230" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 346w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 690w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 346px) 85vw, 346px" />Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

2. Move your body, stretch, and engage in rhythmic repetitive movements. If you happen to be a Dr. Bruce Perry fan, then you might know that activities incorporating rhythmic, repetitive movements are the gold standard for nervous system regulation. These types of movements (think walking, dancing, running, rocking/swinging, singing, tossing a ball from one hand to the other, etc.) or stretch, jog (a lap around the block or parking lot) or walk the dog (if you work from home) provide calming and relaxing stimulation to our sensory system and increase integration in our brains. 

3. Drink water or herbal tea and have a healthy snack. Staying on top of hydration and nutrition throughout the day can go a long way in keeping your body and brain in an optimal state.

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2296" width="280" height="186" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 280w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 558w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 280px) 85vw, 280px" />Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com

4. Do a quick loving kindness meditation. The researched benefits of this specific type of meditation are abundant: increased positive emotions and decreased negative emotions, reduction in self-criticism (if you are someone who deals with anxiety, this specific benefit will be invaluable), increased activation and activity in 2 main areas of the brain responsible for empathy and emotional attunement, improved social connections, and even relief from migraine pain.

5. Get into nature. Sit outside for 5 minutes. Have a picnic. Walk barefoot (in your backyard if its seasonally appropriate). Spend 5 minutes engaging your sensory system with everything you can observe around you. Nature positively impacts our mental health on all fronts: cognitions, mood, and emotions. There is no special activity or know-how required, just get outside. 

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2298" width="308" height="193" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 308w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 616w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 308px) 85vw, 308px" />Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

6. Get grounded. Take inventory of your environment with your senses. What colors and shapes can see around you? Notice close up and far away sounds. Pay attention to smells or tastes you may be noticing and run your hand across a couple of different textures (your pants, hair, desk, etc). You know the zone out feeling that often happens when you’re sitting in a long meeting or college class? This can be as simple as feeling your feet against the floor, your back against your chair, and your hands rested on your legs. A quick grounding exercise can bring you back into your body. Becoming aware of where our body makes contact with the things around us helps keep us in the here and now.

7. Get creative. We live in a left-brain society and therefore frequently engage in left brain activities: reading, writing, logical problem solving, speech, comprehension, etc. You can work a mental health break into your day just by engaging your right brain with a creative or artistic activity. Doodle, create something, listen to music, daydream, engage in a mindful breathing exercise, watch cute animal videos, write without an agenda – set a timer for 3 minutes and just write whatever comes to mind. When we can engage in right brain activities, especially when still paying attention with our left brain, we increase integration in our brains. 

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2300" width="326" height="186" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 326w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 652w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 150w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 300w" sizes="(max-width: 326px) 85vw, 326px" />Photo by Alena Koval on Pexels.com

8. Use positive self-talk. I know this one sounds silly, but it’s a great stress management tool and the extra cool thing about it involves our own capacity to change our brain in real time. Imagine the connections between brain neurons as bridges, and the more we use that bridge the stronger it becomes. So if we consistently tell ourselves positive things about ourselves, we create a strong brain bridge that in turn affects our self-image and our behavior. Neuropsychologist Donald Hebb helps us remember this concept with the phrase “cells that fire together, wire together.” If you’ve found a positive mantra that works for you and you consistently use it and feel a positive feeling afterward, you are creating a strong and efficient path to a quick mental health boost. 

[image error]Pexels.com" data-medium-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." data-large-file="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." src="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co..." alt="" class="wp-image-2302" width="192" height="288" srcset="https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 192w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 384w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 100w, https://angelagrey.files.wordpress.co... 200w" sizes="(max-width: 192px) 85vw, 192px" />Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

9. Use pressure in a good way. According to the Center for Spirituality & Healing at the University of MN, our sensory system LOVES pressure. It’s both regulating in a calming way and increases our sense of safety and security. Try these simple ideas for a mental health break during your day: place your palms against the wall and take a couple of steps back like you are getting ready for a wall push up but just press against the wall instead of doing the full push-up; while seated in your desk chair, place your palms next to you on your chair and gently lift your body an inch out of your set for a few seconds; hold downward dog pose for a count of 10 (in your home office); sit on the floor and hug your knees to your chest with your arms wrapped tightly around your legs; take the stairs; push a heavy shopping cart through the store; squeeze clay or putty for a few minutes; wrap up in a weighted blanket (if you work from home); or give your arms and shoulders a quick self-massage. This is one where you can get creative…. Any way that you can give your joints and muscles deep pressure is going to be helpful here.  

This pdf is meant for public health responders and employees but has excellent mental well-being tips, resources, and tools to share. Check it out and take a break.