Adam Thomas's Blog, page 31

Now about that Yak

Originally, I was going to devote one post to the Yak AND its trax.  But I laughed every time I saw the picture staring back at me.  Admit it.  It’s funny to have an entire post devoted to the Yak.

On with this post.

 When some ‘outdoor adventurer’ dude was in the Himalayas, he spotted this Sherpa dude confidently walking across a slick, icy surface.  - Sounds majestic, doesn’t it?
Of course, the million dollar idea of some patented coil traction device blah, blah, blah was conceived
Named after the sure-footed Tibetan Yak – thus, the picture
Yaktrax  offer a wide  array of ice traction devices for footwear
I just hope the Sherpa dude is gettin’ a percentage.  Not that he would probably care.  Still, … .

Yes, there are oodles of other companies that have similar patented blah, blah, blah.  The reason I’m highlighting Yaktraxs  is because I received a pair for Christmas and they rock!  I went for a walk the other day and just like Sherpa dude I confidently walked across the slick, icy surface that WAS my subdivision.  AND I DIDN’T FALL.  I wasn’t majestic by any means, but I didn’t fall.  That, in itself, is a huge accomplishment.

Back to the other reason for this post.

I was at the gym on Thursday a few weeks back.  Every Thursday the owners play country music in the gym.  The majority of the time I don’t even realize what station is playing.  I have a wife, three kids AND I work retail.  I can tune anything out. However,  there was a particular moment when I was listening to the station.  Apparently a new album was coming out featuring country singers performing rock songs.  The announcer rattled off what star/group did what song.  All I remember was that Psycho  Killer  was remade as was  I’m  Gonna  Be (500 miles)   by the Proclaimers; a duet by Hayley and Michaels and it is awesome.

Since this post is devoted to the leisurely activity that is  ’walking’ , I was compelled to share the link to the remake.  I was going include the link when the Proclaimers appeared on Letterman back in 1989.  But it was, like, over six minutes long.  Just couldn’t do that.  Besides, this is actually better than the original.

Track on!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPK9wpRl8Sw

By the way, I’m lucky if I even walk 500 miles in a year.

The post Now about that Yak appeared first on Adam Thomas, RPH.

It’s a Yak.

The post It’s a Yak. appeared first on Adam Thomas, RPH.

Ode to the ANNUAL ski trip

I know, I know - not ANOTHER ode.  But I really haven’t  had one recently - Ode to Idaho August 20,2014 to be exact.  Besides, this is a very special ‘Ode’.  Every year around this time I devote a post to … the  ANNUAL  ski trip.  Once again, I will have to sit it out.  Let’s just say it’s a long story, that’s … complicated.

Anyway, the word ‘ode’ was never even considered for the title.  Then, I read, really I just flipped through the pages, of the December 2014 SKI MAGAZINE.   An article entitled  Keeping It Real caught my attention.  It was basically a compilation of ‘thoughts’ and memories paying homage to skiing and basically everything related to skiing – from $18 burgers to parents reminiscing about watching their kids grow up on ski.  In fact, there were actually six entries with the word ‘Ode’ in the title.  So how could I title this post anything else?  It would be wrong.

Before I begin my rambling, I want to highlight my favorite entry.  It’s not an ‘ode’ it.  But, damn it, it should be.

LAST CHAIR -

First chair gets all the glory, but last chair is a better gauge of attitude.  Heck, anyone can set an alarm to roll out of bed.  But staying on the hill for the last run just ahead of the patrol sweep? That takes dedication. 

I am not a great skier.  After the first two days, the rest of the group attacks the ‘untamed territory’ on the mountain, while I peruse the groomed trails.  We meet up for lunch and heckle each other if we cross paths either skiing or from the lifts.  For me, I’m usually the recipient of said heckling, especially when I’m searching the immediate area for the fuckin’ pole I lost in my last wipeout.

But that’s okay.

For me it was and never will be just about the skiing.  These are my friends.  Friends that don’t live near the tundra that is Northern Michigan.  Friends that I’ve known for over twenty years.  And friends that are just that - my friends.  Fortunately, over the last few months I’ve seen a few on separate occasions.  But, it’s not the same.

I’ve e-mailed them all and they will not only carve it up, BUT drink very heavily.  All in my honor, of course.  Yeah, right!

Oh to be part of … the ANNUAL ski trip instead of just writing the Ode to … .

This youtube link is supposed to be ‘ the best skiing video ever’ .  It’s not.  But it is fun and appropriately compliments my post.

Also,  a snowboarder is included in the video.  Our group has one ’boarder and the ‘Dude’ who does both – ski and snowboard.  Of course he does.  Why wouldn’t he?

Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcaUcL8MiKk

The post Ode to the ANNUAL ski trip appeared first on Adam Thomas, RPH.

It really IS 5:00 somewhere

So, one day at work, at like 11:43am, I turned to my coworker and, well, … we both sighed heavily.  Somehow the topic of alcohol came up and, of course, the infamous words – well, it is 5 o’clock somewhere – were spoken.  After a moment, I had a thought.  Yes, that does happen from time to time.  Usually I keep these random thoughts to myself or write blog posts about them.  On that day, I decided to say -

“But is it really 5 o’clock somewhere? How many time zone can there actually be?” 

Fortunately for the pharmacy staff – note: sarcasm – another coworker decided to answer the question AND join the conversation without permission.  Luckily, his answer was a simple “24 “- note: nothing with this person is ever simple.  Then the attention had to shift back to filling prescriptions and that was that.

Until … I decided to create this post. Besides, I love the song link I included, so I had to find a way to incorporate it. Right?

 

Currently there are 24 official time zones in the world. There are 16 others too but they are not usually taken into account in official international matters. Official time zones are divided into units of one hour each but the unofficial time zones may have 15 min, 30 min or 45 min as their base unit. Ideally speaking, there should be 24 time zones in the world but this is not the world of our dreams and there are political factors at work too! For example, China and India don’t have any time zones but if speaking scientifically, China passes through five time zones and India through two, but the ruling politicians who don’t want to divide their country into time zones in order to protect its integrity! The result is: one has to adjust his/her watch by 3.5 hours when one crosses the border from China to Afghanistan.

On the other hand, there are eleven time zones in both France and Russia and the government of Russia is trying to bring the number down. In Iran, the government prefers to divides the time zones into 30 minute units

Furthermore,

Until 1972 all time zones were specified as an offset from Greenwich Mean Time (GMT), which was the mean solar time at the meridian passing through the Royal Observatory in Greenwich, London. Since 1972 all official time services have broadcast radio time signals synchronized to UTC, a form of atomic time that includes leap seconds to keep it within 0.9 seconds of this former GMT, now called UT1. Many countries now legally define their standard time relative to UTC, although some still legally refer to GMT, including the United Kingdom itself. UTC, also called Zulu time, is used everywhere on Earth by astronomers and others who need to state the time of an event unambiguously.

This whole ‘leap second’ thing is under constant attack.  Why wouldn’t it be, though? It sounds really stupid.  Personally, I think these time zone analyst people need to just fuck 5 o’clock and have a drink.

But that’s just me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfqtO88ZlBQ

The post It really IS 5:00 somewhere appeared first on Adam Thomas, RPH.

The Morning Scramble

Yes, that is the name of the restaurant I open in My  Life  As A  Retail  Pharmacist – A Fictionalized Memoir.  However, in my real life I would do no such thing.  At least at this stage.  I really do hate people right now and would never think about cooking, let alone serving, them breakfast.  But, this is a happy post.  So we can’t bring up the c – word* right now.

Back to the reason I am writing – breakfast.  I love everything about breakfast.  Except those stupid Jimmy Dean commercials where that guy is dressed up in that sun costume.  Stupid.  Just the thought of that sausage/egg sandwich thing in the microwave is just wrong.   And gross.  And … wrong.  That is not breakfast.

So here is a quick run down of my breakfast favorites.

Bacon – recently started cooking in the oven: 375 for about 20 minutes, flipping once – use parchment paper
Bakes Oatmeal – an amazing recipe that was given to me by a friend
The Egg Bake – basically hash browns, a shit load of eggs, and lots of cheddar cheese
Over easy – my egg preference, in case anyone wondered
Stuffed French Toast - cream cheese and jam sandwich French-toasted – peach preserves rocks
Coffee - no additional comment needed – it’s amazing
Eggs Benedict – my favorite breakfast indulgence
PANCAKES – I only eat my grandmother’s recipe.  Which I included in my Memoir , I might add.
Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice - my favorite but if I drink too much I get a small rash on my … .  Sorry, TMI.
Bacon - Roy’s marquee once read: Everything in moderation – except bacon

Okay, I’m officially  hungry.

So what more is there to say about breakfast? Hmmm… .

I love going out to breakfast.  It’s always so laid back; no rush.
I  met my wife at a Sunday Brunch.  She was my waitress.  She was a very stressed waitress. So brunch was perfect for her.
According to my sister, you should always over-tip breakfast servers.  I do.
A waitress back in Chicago had a name tag that read - Oh Miss
Eating an omlette at 2am with D Law (Hill) while studying for finals at Perkins in Iowa City  - best college memories.  Ever!

See, there are so many reasons to love breakfast.

To close this post I decided to include an excerpt from  My … Fictionalized Memoir

             The Morning Scramble was open for business. 

            Val actually thought of the name, claiming those words best described most weekday mornings.  Kurt still lobbied for The Pancake Palace, but was overruled.  The restaurant is open Tuesday through Sunday 7 a.m. to 11 a.m. Kathryn waitresses on the weekends and is looking forward to summer when she can do it more regularly.   Meredith Yates came to the Grand Opening and presented me with my very own Customer Etiquette Proclamation.  It was even framed. But everyone knows what is expected in my establishment.  If not, they find out soon enough.

            Well, there you have it.  My story is over, but my life has begun.  I never thought anything remotely resembling the events of the past year could or would ever happen.  In retail pharmacy, anything is possible.

            Order up!

*customer IS the c-word

The post The Morning Scramble appeared first on Adam Thomas, RPH.

Once upon a time …

… everyone lived happily ever after.  Unfortunately, things have changed.  Now ‘happily ever after’ has morphed into some awful, sad version of reality; a psychotherapists solution to ‘dealing with outcomes’.  Moreover, the consequences to ‘the wish’ being granted resemble ‘maybe I was better off before’.

Why? Why must even fairy tales be tainted with the harsh ramifications of reality? Why on earth would we ever want out children to imagine, hope and dream that there can be happily ever after?

I have no answer - insert heavy sigh.

So, what is the root of this fairy tale rant?

I saw  Into  The  Woods  a few days ago.  Yes, it was an amazing movie to watch on the big screen – the true definition of  Hollywood in all of its cinematic glory.  The singing was unparalleled, especially the kid who played Jack (the Beanstalk Jack).  Though Little Red Riding Hood’s voice did annoy the shit out of me.  Also, who the hell knew Chris Pine – Prince Charming – could sing.  He did an incredible ‘my relationship pain/frustration is worse than yours’ number with his onscreen brother, the suitor of Rapunzel called  Agony.  I searched for a link, but all I found were pirated versions.  I don’t support that shit – it is wrong.  Before I forget Chris Pine’s Prince Charming also delivered the best line in the movie.  When confronted by his new wife Cinderella about a mild flirtatious case of infidelity he promptly quipped, “I was raised to be charming, not sincere.”

Yes, that is a great line, but it was one of the main challenges to  ’happily ever after’.  Come on! The dude was married for what, one day, and he’s off  into the woods making out with the Baker’s Wife?

Once again – why? Why can’t he be charming and sincere.  It makes us men who are both – that would be me, of course - look bad.  Then the Baker’s Wife  ends up falling off some cliff or something really stupid like that not having to live with what she had done.  I couldn’t help but think of the Don Henley/ Bruce Hornsby song End of the Innocence. 

Remember when the days were long

And rolled beneath a deep blue sky?

Didn’t have a care in the world

With mommy and daddy standing by

When happily ever after fails

And we’ve been poisoned by these fairy tales

Anyway, I tried very hard to streamline my thinking for this post in an attempt to make sense of this unfortunate situation.  But rereading what I’ve written, I failed – miserably at that.  Also, let me qualify my rant.  I’m really not that obsessed over this whole thing, just … disappointed.  Personally, I still hope for happily ever after.  I guess when Hollywood comes calling to make my fictitious life into a Blockbuster, I will ensure creative control.

Until that time I will close with the simple wish that is   Ever, Ever After   by Carrie Underwood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAniOB1Ts4k

 

The post Once upon a time … appeared first on Adam Thomas, RPH.

As for the rash, …

I AM: The Power of Discovering Who You Really Are   by   Howard Falco

I AM takes readers on a life-changing journey … blah, blah, blah …  finding that the doorway to eternal peace, happiness, and fulfillment lies in one of the shortest sentences in the written word but the most powerful in the universe: I AM.

Blah, blah, blah … .  And the book is done.

No, I didn’t read this book, nor do I  want to.  Though I must say – I really love the power of the statement I AM.  However, before I go on I must share the ‘book review’ I found on Amazon because it sums up my initial impression of the book perfectly.

Grammatically correct, but 75% could have been edited out 

First the negative. As hard as I tried to like to like this book because of the positive reviews, I found the first 3/4 of the book to be comprised of repetitive statements of either the obvious or of what are the most basic tenets of conventional positive thinking such as:

1) We create our own reality.

2) Fear tends to bring about the very thing that is feared.

3) Faith tends to bring about positive outcomes.

4) People tend to be products of their environments.

 5) Failure does not define who you are

So, why am I writing about I am?

I’ve always been a mantra  kinda’ guy.   You know those short, usually positive-infused statements you repeat over and over when your mind wanders and the negative forces in the universe – or pharmacy customers – are trying like hell to bring you down.  So when I came across this bad boy mantra, I liked it – I AM has real power to it.

During a massage a few months back, I commented that I had a blemish around my eyes.  Luckily, the ‘rash’ was minor and went away after a few days. However it randomly reappeared from time to time.  The clinician stated that I might have some unresolved issue that is manifesting itself in the ‘rash’.  Great! I’m fucked.  I’m close to fifty fuckin’ years old – that’s a lot of potential unresolved issues to deal with.

Still, I did think about this.  Remember it’s a rash. And it’s on my face.  Why wouldn’t I try and resolve that, eh?

Just a little back story on me as a person – I really do think alot; maybe too much.  Furthermore, I do care about things I want to care about.  No, I’m not a  fake  when I angrily rant about pharmacy and the stupidity that IS the American customer.  You  just can’t fix that shit.  So this whole introspection / self-blah, blah, blah shit was nothing new to me.

But, you know something - I AM DONE!

How’s that for an I AM statement?  Huh? I am so over myself.  I am moving forward.  As for the rash… .  Well, I am almost fifty.  Weird shit happens as you get older.  Besides, it’s very transient and hydrocortisone cream works.

Now, I just have to wait for the power of that statement to impact some positive change in my life.

Welcome to 2015, baby!

I AM RESOLVED

The post As for the rash, … appeared first on Adam Thomas, RPH.

Threepeat chorus

Sorry, didn’t mean to have so much emphasis on Christmas carols this year.  It just worked out that way.   This was so well received last year it demands to be reposted!

Enjoy!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
Dementia –I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and . . .
Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Personality Disorder – You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent Night, Holy OOOOOOOOh look at the Froggy, can I have chocolate, why is France so far away?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell …

 

author unknown

Ho!Ho!Ho!

The post Threepeat chorus appeared first on Adam Thomas, RPH.

office time

A friend of mine and I have this running joke called ‘office time’.  Well, it’s really not a joke.  It’s a reality.  Whenever either of us inquires about the other’s day off, only two words need to be said – yep, you guessed it – office time.  When those words are spoken, we both diaphragmatically breathe, knowing the other had a great day off.  If those two words aren’t said, we then sigh heavily and bid our condolences.

Unfortunately spouses, significant others and who ever or what ever you want to call that person you live with, sometimes don’t understand the concept of ‘office time’.  The situation usually involves one partner either not working. working part-time or working ‘from home’ with few and far between visits to ‘the office’.   Before I continue I must emphasize one important aspect of this reality.  Office time has nothing to say about the stability of the relationship.  Really.  Every healthy relationship needs individual ‘office time’.  It’s a proven fact.  Just don’t ask me to prove it right now because, like,  it’s less than two weeks before Christmas and I still have a lot to do.

You see – I’m a huge home body; always have been and probably always will be.  Will I eventually end up  some grumpy old-man-hermit, hoarding useless items in my house?  No.  Well, if I don’t have a positive change in my life soon and get out of retail pharmacy, I may need to get back to you about that.  Even then, my answer would still be - No.  Believe it or not - I am stable.

With retail  pharmacy, everyone wants something from me -  customers, management, fellow employees, that annoying asshole/bitch who wants every fucking immunization he/she can get just ‘because’.  Shut the fuck up and go away.   And to top it off,  everyone’s ‘problem’ turns out to be mine.  How the hell does that make sense?  I can barely solve my own shit let alone the staffs, the greedy-fucking company’s AND the general public’s panic over Whopping Cough or how the flu going around is some mutated strain not covered by the damn flu shot I ADMINISTERED.  Which is, of course, my fault.

Throw  a wife and three teenaged kids into the mix.  The demands can be … trying.

But with ‘office time’ – insert diaphragmatic breath-none of that matters. Do you know I can get more done in 1 hour of office time than in  the entire day when my family is around.  Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but work with me here.

I know none of this is anything new to anyone.  And yes, everyone has their own daily grind / work issues to deal with.  But remember, with ‘office time’  - insert diaphragmatic breath-none of that matters.

I could go on, but some of you are using precious office time to read this, so I won’t.  Instead I will leave you all with my wish for the New Year – Office Time.

I am … stable.  Right?

The post office time appeared first on Adam Thomas, RPH.

The Fifth Gold Ring

How on earth could I forget this staple?

A  Charlie Brown Christmas   by   Vince Guaraldi Trio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLtMgCsGG7k&list=PL40jUNMLrLEQU7dv-FUZV7LKOZFGm6BnT&index=8

The post The Fifth Gold Ring appeared first on Adam Thomas, RPH.