Adam Thomas's Blog, page 41

You’re excused and I’m not sorry

Recently, I was told that I was ‘too polite’.  The comment really didn’t register then partly because I was at work and it was from someone who is somewhat compromised in their own way.  But the more I pondered the observation, the more I realized its validity – I am too polite.  If someone bumps into me at the grocery store and it’s clearly their fault, I end up apologizing.  Moreover, my initial reaction to the previous post was - ”Wow, I should apologize and claify what was written.  It sounded so severe.  No one is ever going to send me another Christmas card again!”

Apart from the over-dramatazation of that reaction, some who read the post may interpret it in that unintended way. And that’s what fuels my constant need to apologize; even when I do nothing wrong.  Quite frankly, I’m over it.

So what happened? How did the general public become so … freakishly sensitive.  Well, I’ll tell ya’.

The political correctness conscience has become so heightened that people are offended by every word that is spoken and/or written. I could rant on and on, but all that really needs to be said is this  -  deal.  Grow a set while your at it too, you pansy-assed whiners.

For me personally, it’s a learned behavior.  I blame this thing I call a profession – retail.  When situations arise and the customer is in fact the one at fault – remember I wrote an entire novel about this –  if an apology or acknowledgement of the situation doesn’t happen on my part, that customer is often disgruntled.  This is not good. God forbid said customer  fills out the damn receipt survey.  The monthy delight score goes out the fuckin’ window and there’s hell to pay.

It’s draining; physically, mentally, and emotionally.  So, I need to change.

Yes, I realize that I do need to continue to work.  Though I can be ‘creatve’ with the way I handle situations at work.  Believe it when I say that I am very creative.  Really it’s these personal interactions that need the overhauling.  All I gotta’ say is, I pity da’ fool walking through the grocery store distracted by some handheld devise that bumps into me and growls as if it’s my fault.   The only thing sorry will be their ass.

Those who know me realize that my bark is much bigger than my bite, but remember I’m changing. Right?

 

 

 

Freeze frame

No, this is not another weather comment.  Though it does best describe the scene out of the kitchen window.  Anyway, … .

It’s about photographs of all things.  I have never been a picture guy.  I don’t take them.  I don’t want to be in them.  Pretty much want nothing to do with them.  But something happened this past week that actually made me appreciate them.  If that is at all possible.  In a fortuitous turn of events, I was included in a wonderful event in a friend’s life.  The detail aren’t important.  Well, they are, but if I even try to explain you will get bored AND I will ramble.  I want neither of these things to happen.  That said… .

I wanted to find a picture of me wearing a certain college baseball cap from, like, over twenty years ago.  Since I liked pictures even less then, I turned to my wife’s stash.  Of which she has quite the collection AND for good reason.  With a worthless, POS like me what other options are there?

I was pessimistic about what I would find, but I feverishly scoured through piles and piles of pictures.  Yes, going to Wal-Mart and getting duplicate prints of  the same pose photographed from  three different angles was a great idea then – note sarcasm.  Now, looking through each duplicate pose was  … tiring, but in doing so  I realized again how damn adorable my kids actually were ( and still are).  Only parents can appreciate this revelation.  With every picture there’s the ‘i remember that’ and ‘wow, that was really fun’ comments running through my mind.

It made me smile.  And thankful for the opportunity to revisit such memories.  Alas, I found what I was looking.  However,  I am determined to continue to go through the remaining piles.  I did only make it through one kid, ya’ know.  Equality with children is key.

Don’t worry, I’ll still pitch a fit come Easter when the request for ‘one more picture’ comes from my father-in-law.  That’s just something that needs to be done.  But this time, I may be a bit more sincere with the ‘forced’ smile.

P.S. – who sang the song mentioned in the title of the post?

 

 

simple question – neither burning nor random

In a constant effort to increase my exposure, I am joining groups and updating bookshelves on sites such as Shelfari and Good Reads.  Doing this made me think.  Often this is a bad thing, but this train of thought is applicable to what I do – write and read.  So that leads me to the question proposed in the title of this post -

What IS on my bookshelf?

I just finished reading  The  Firm  by John Grisham.  Great, quick read especially for someone like me who is a slow, slow reader.  I brought it skiing and just finished it now.  Told you I was slow.  Anyway, this is my second time through, of course.  Though having three books and a screenplay under my belt since the first reading, I think I appreciate what Grisham creates even more now.

Mr. Murder by Dean Koontz.   Love this book.  However the only book of Koontz that I have read.  Sometimes he teeters on a genre that I really don’t frequent.  But Mr.  Murder continues to wow me and keeps me interested read after read.

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury.  The legacy of the book speaks for itself.  I even referenced passages in a previous work of my own.  That’s how much it stayed with me.

A few years back I reread  The Great Gatsby.  Fitzgerald uses beautiful words and sentences them in even more beautiful ways.  I’m humbled to know I will never write in this manner.  But I accept that.  I’m just not wired that way.  Also, I write for pure entertainment value.  Nothing too deep and impactful.    But there is often purpose in what I write if I must say so myself.

The Power of Positive Thinking  by Norman Vincent Peale  has been read so many times that a rubber band is needed to hold the book together.  God forbid I dropped it when it was loose.  Pages would be everywhere.  I stole the copy from my mother long ago.  She’s fine with it.  Remember, I work retail pharmacy.  The American public sucks every bit of energy and optimize out that I have.  My battery needs to be recharged often.  It’s either that or therapy.  Though some say I need both.

Well that’s how the books on my shelf stack up.  There are more, of course.  I’ll save that for another post down the line.

Done with winter

Unfortunately, winter is NOT done with me or Northern Michigan, for that matter.  Who am I kidding? Like I mentioned in a previous post, Traverse has two seasons – winter and July.  Really the before and after winter part is more ‘transitional’ than a season.  It could be worse, especially considering the Plain states are bracing for Tornado season.  Though I hope they don’t start naming those too.  That’s not only dumb, it’s just wrong.

I’ve lasted longer this year than in years past.  Usually I come upon this realization mid-February when there is a very long winter road ahead .  More snow and less frigid temps are probably the reason this year.  Though I did have bad timing with some overnight snowfalls.  The Morning Scramble inhibited my snow removal, yielding a ‘Quantified’  mess of a driveway.  One estimated, yet measurable ice chunk from the end of the drive was the size of Rhode Island with the thickness of the majority of pharmacy customer sculls.  The ice chunk probably has more patience though.  While I’m talkin’ shop, depression medication use is at an all time high.  So, I’m thinkin’ the rest of Northern Michigan is also done with winter.

Over the weekend I de-snowmaned the house.  No more winter decorations can be found.  Except for the damn icicle lights that still hang from the gutter.  But it would be a cluster if I even tried to take those down.  Hint – bad decision, stupid move AND what-the-hell-was-he-thinking story.

Lastly, I got a hair cut.  It was long overdue, but the longer hair coincided with the winter.  Since the temps haven’t increased, my head is now cold.  I’m not complaining, though.  At my age, I’m just thankful I have hair to cut.

That’s it – I’m done.  Bring on the … transition!

Consider the ‘Ode’ over.

P. S. – I’m done with scarfs, too.

FIVE STAR REVIEW AND NOW ONLY $3.49

Refreshingly Brilliant Writing !!

 

“My Life As A Retail Pharmacist” had me from page one! If you have EVER worked in retail, or dealt with customers not at their best, you can feel for the main character, Adam Thomas. Written with attitude and humor, the author builds a realistic world around a character whose life has taken a huge spiral down the toilet. Adam is a pharmacist for a large retail company in an upscale northern Michigan tourist haven where he deals with the daily pressures of customers, doctors, management, everything that goes with his job. He’s good at it, even though he is getting burned out. One customer with one prescription, and one self-important busybody cost Adam his job, his reputation and his dignity. He refuses to swallow his pride and apologize, after all he didn’t do anything wrong! How does he fight back? He sues for wrongful discharge, among other things!

Unfortunately, Adam is not the quintessential rock, he is insecure, unsure and completely out of his element in this new world. His family life has always been strong, but even the home front is suffering at times. His attorney is full of himself, but good, devious, and hopefully worth what he will cost.

Although the subject matter is serious, the telling of the tale is often almost hysterical! Adam is so normal in so many ways, so out of his element in this litigious society, he is priceless as a character! Tanya Stenke-Branch, the busybody, was portrayed in larger than life evil! The question is, will Adam prevail in court or will the system roll over on him?

I HIGHLY recommend this book for its entertainment value and the author’s refreshing look at the world! “

Dianne Bylo – reviewer for Shelfari/Kindle and all-round cool woman

 

To celebrate this wonderful news, I have placed the book on SALE for the month of March.

  $3.49 

Just click on the icon to the right to purchase a copy.  While you’re at it buy one as a gift!

get out the yard stick

Apparently there is some new ‘movement’ amongst the younger sect.  It’s called the Quantified Self.  I first read about it in Graydon Carter’s Editor’s Letter in the February 2013  Vanity  Fair.  I’ve been a long subscriber of the magazine and often read what Mr. Carter has to say.  The concept fascinated me.  Not in the “wow, I want to be a part of that” way but in the “what the hell are they thinking?” way.  So I did some  research.  And what I found validated my initial assumption of what this ‘movement’ is all about.

Basically Quantified Self is all about self-knowledge through self-tracking. You know measuring every frickin’ thing you do with every app available on every electronic device known to man.  Quintessentially, it’s self-absorption to the highest degree.  Not only do these people measure, record, and preserve their results for posterity, they share with others and actually think society gives a shit about the results.  I don’t know about you, but between work, the wife and kids, and everything that comes with  those combined, I can barely keep track of the amount of sleep I get or how many times I pee each day.  Throw in racking my brain to think of ways to ‘positively buzz’ my book to generate sales and I’m a quantified mess!

But the thing is, I’m doing something that I alone can be accountable for.  Not just filling the void of my existence in senseless rituals.  Well, I do that, too, but let’s not go there right now.

Carter said it best when he wrote – “The thing is, all that time you spend logging and then curating the quotidian aspects of your daily life is time taken away from actually doing things.”

You light up ‘My Life’

Okay, that was bad.  Really bad.  However referencing that song was appropriate for one more little tidbit about the novel.

Chapter titles/headings

The first section is designated by time – think diary entries.  Not the Doogie Howser type, but the chronological account of events type.  The second section  is generic 1,2,3 headings.  The third section, though, is my favorite.  Song titles are used to characterize, if you will, each chapter.  Great feedback from readers on this by the way.

One in particular comes to mind that pretty much sums up what the entire novel is about -  Stand  by Rascal Flatts (Danny Orton, Blair Daly).

‘Cause when push comes to shove/You taste what you’re made of

You might bend ’til you break/’Cause it’s all you can take

On your knees you look up/Decide you’ve had enough

You get mad, you get strong/Wipe your hands, shake it off

Then you stand, then you stand

 

Granted, you need to pick your battles.  But for me, this Stand was a good decision and a hell of a good story!

 

‘My Life’s’ point of view

I’m talking book.  My Life As A Retail Pharmacist – A Fictionalized Memoir.  Yes, that book.  No one would want to know the other.  Sometimes I don’t even know that.

The synopsis – that little tab in the upper left corner next to the home tab – gives a brief overview of what I did with the point of view in the story, but I feel the need to explain.

The book is basically divided into three main sections.  There is an introduction and epilogue, but those are a few pages each so… .  The first section is all me – first person.  Then a pivotal scene sets the stage for the second section and the point of view is opened to a broader, but still limited view.  Yes, it’s still all me.  I just needed to be able to introduce some other characters and ‘move’ around the story a bit.  When I was at a writers workshop, an instructor told the group that if you choose first person that first person has to be interesting enough to carry the entire novel.  Talk about pressure.  I am not that interesting, so I needed to shake things up a bit.

The final section of the book is all third person omniscient – very little about me.  Yes, I am the main character and it is my story but things got messy.  And ,I needed help cleaning up.

The reason I like what I did was that this increasingly broader point of view  parallelled what was happening.  My life was falling apart.  The expanding point of view captured the essence* of that implosion.

Then, when the dust settle and the epilogue begins, it’s all about me again.  Isn’t that what everyone wants?

So just click on one of those ions to the right and buy the damn book.  Trust me, you will like it.

 

*this time the word essence is spelled correctly

early season conditions exist

Well, I’m back from skiing in Aspen/Snowmass.  And it was amazing – great trip.  My wife and I often discuss the real definition of the word ‘annual’ when referencing the ski trip.  I am already looking forward to 2014.  Not sure if she is, though?!

On the plane I had an opportunity to catch up on some magazine reading, especially ski magazines.  One particular article caught my attention and I feel compelled to share.

The below is from the February 2013 Skiing . Apparently it was an article celebrating the 65th anniversary issue and it gathered ‘tips, hints, lessons, and tricks that will enrich and inform your experience’ from real skiers.  Here are some of the highlights of the ‘Skiers 65’.

Spray Dry                    Spray Pam on your jeans to make them waterproof.

 

Mind Fido                   Be careful skiing with your dog.  Your edges are giant knife blades right at paw level.

 

What she said           Don’t take off your ski gear.  Guys are way cuter in their gear.

 

Avoid baggage          If you meet a girl a week before you’re supposed to move West, don’t  let her move

                                 out there with you.

Prioritize

Shamelessly              Success as a ski bum comes down to two things: time management and a good

                                budget. Never work more hours than you ski, and never be afraid to sell blood or

                                semen.

Note – each excerpt had name/location of author.

 

Ski on!  

gone skiing

http://youtu.be/RrcXlewIq40

 

for Mary who needs more than words for blogging entertainment and Randy who is finally old enough to see this film