M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 71

Positivity is Not Selfish, Is It?

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Positivity is not selfish.

I recognize that in the face of the world today, and all the insanity nationally and internationally, seeking out positivity for yourself may seem like a selfish notion.  With so many people facing adversity, cruelty, devastation, tangible and intangible bad things, doesn’t it make you selfish if you seek positivity and good things?

No, because there are limited things we can all do to help the world at large.  We can march in protests, vote in elections, sign petitions, and take other actions to speak out against the bad things.  But apart from that, nothing we do can or will change it.

However, we can change ourselves.  Most of all, we can change our individual thoughts, feelings, and actions.  When we work from this, we open ourselves up to having a greater impact than we realize.

Whether or not you believe in the Law of Attraction, or that consciousness creates reality, or whatever label we give to mindfulness, you are still empowered to control how you think, feel, and act.  Seeing as positivity feels good, and negativity feels bad, why would seeking positivity be selfish?

The reason this may feel selfish is the way we often perceive the world at large.  There are big names and big personalities who take and take for themselves; yet they are unkind, lacking in empathy, and truly selfish.  In their taking, they strive to leave nothing for anyone else, be it money, resources, or what-have-you.

Seeking positivity is not selfish, unless in doing so you deny others the same space and opportunities.  Unless you are actively working to keep someone else with less, or otherwise down, you are not selfish.

Finding positivity is not selfish

Selfishness is not finding good for ourselves.  It is not selfish to be happy, even when others are not – unless you are happy at the suffering or creation of lack for others.  When you take with the intent of leaving nothing for someone or anyone else, THAT is selfishness.

So unless your thoughts, feelings, and actions are intentionally working to take from others, cause hurt and lack and scarcity for other people, you are not being selfish.  Despite messages to the contrary, selfishness is not about having what you do for yourself – it is about denying the same for others.

Seeking and finding positivity is not selfish, because it does not take away from anyone else.  It is not selfish when you have the opportunity to create a better life to do so.  Not unless in doing that, you intend to deny someone else the same.

I can do nothing to change anyone else’s circumstances.  Yes, there are actions I can take that will help people along the way, and I can be generous with my time, my money, and my ideas.  Seeking and finding positivity gives us all the opportunity to build more.

Positivity is borne from abundance, not lack or scarcity.  Finding positivity is finding more abundance, and more abundance is good for everyone.

Those who are selfish tend to turn abundance to lack and scarcity for their own ends.  They would rather disempower, because they believe that there isn’t enough, and so they take and take.  Watch the news, you’ll see this pretty clearly.

You have a choice.  You can decide to choose to be mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and use that to find and create positivity in the world.  Finding positivity is not selfish, because it tends to create more to be found.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action

Knowing that positivity is not selfish, we can seek to find and create more positivity, because doing so creates and finds more abundance.  When we recognize that this is not a selfish act, and that doing so makes us feel good, we ultimately empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we become more aware and mindful, and tend to spread that feeling to others around us. As such, we can build more positive feelings.

We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we eradicate negative feelings, we open up space to let in more positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.

Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  An attitude of gratitude is a positive attitude that begets even more good energies, and that is always worthwhile.

This is the two-hundred and sixty-seventh entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

After more than 7 years of weekly blogging, I have launched a Patreon to garner support for these works, and more.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog.  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive a free eBook.

Name *FirstLastEmail *EmailSubmit

The post Positivity is Not Selfish, Is It? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How Are Willing and Willful Similar and Different?

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Recognizing the difference between willing and willful is important.

Each of these ideas has its own time and place.  But when they are misused, they can be detrimental to anything you might be attempting to create.

What are willing and willful, and how do they differ?

Dictionary.com gives us this:

Willing (adjective)

disposed or consenting; inclined
cheerfully consenting or ready
done, given, borne, used, etc., with cheerful readiness

Willful (adjective)

deliberate, voluntary, or intentional
unreasonably stubborn or headstrong; self-willed

Willingness is the presentation of inclination and consent; willfulness is the presentation of an intentional act, but also can be stubborn and headstrong.

Willfulness can be good in the face of difficult odds, but it can also be too much, and as such, unhealthy.

While willingness is a consenting readiness, it can also, unchecked, leave you being a doormat under someone else’s boots.

This is where mindfulness comes in to play.  When you choose to be aware of whether you are being willful or willing, you can better accomplish pretty much anything you set out to do.

Consciousness creates reality.  It does not do so from a vacuum, there is no magic formula, and it is seldom instantaneous, let alone a quick process.  But anything that we desire to have in our lives takes thought, feeling, and intentional action.  In order to get from what you have to what you desire to have, you need to be willing to make choices.  You may have to be willful when you encounter obstacles and twists in the path you choose to take to get you there.

Willing and willful can work separately or together

Willing is akin to desiring, but with somewhat less focus.  While I believe that the word want implies lack, and desire implies abundance, willing tends to fall between these.  Willing, under a positive intent, can both open doors, and prepare us for a potentially long and uncertain journey.

Willful can be both want and desire.  When it is focused as intentional, it is the personification of abundance and desire.  But, when it crosses into being unreasonable, it tends to turn to lack, scarcity and want.

How do you know when willful goes too far?

Tenacity in achieving a desired goal is a necessity to conscious reality creation, and to getting where you aim to go.  But when it is obvious that the goal is not all that useful, and may do more harm than good, you’ve likely reached that point where willful is a negative.

Sorry, but I am going to get political here.  Trump is willfully insisting on building his wall, despite Congress not allotting him the funds, and numerous people pointing out that it will do nothing in the face of solving any of the actual problems in the immigration system. He is so stubborn and headstrong about this wall of his that he has declared a non-emergency national emergency to try to bypass the system.

This is a perfect example of willfulness not serving anyone.

It is good in many instances to stand up for yourself willfully, and not accept obstacles or issues in the process of your journey as defeat.  But it is also important to know when you are fighting a lost cause, and hurting yourself and possibly others because of it.

How do you know when willing goes too far?

Let’s use the same political example above.  Despite recognizing how damaging and unnecessary Trump’s wall will be, many members of Congress will willingly go along with the President’s whim.  They are being doormats for his increasingly unhinged policies, and do not seem to care if what they do will harm or help anybody but themselves.

On a more personal level, you have to be wary of yourself becoming a doormat.  Often when we are willing to see how much work and effort will be needed to get from where we are now to where we desire to be, we may allow ourselves to make sacrifices in the name of being willing to do whatever it takes.

I know society believes in a certain nobility in sacrifice.  But sacrifice submits to lack and scarcity, not abundance.  Sacrifice means you do not believe there is enough, so you go without.  Sacrifice is not the same as compromise, though often these get mixed up.

When you are willing to sacrifice for the goal, for another, for an ideal, it is important to be aware of if it is REALLY a sacrifice, or if it is a compromise.

How will you know?  By how it makes you feel.  Sacrifice tends to feel bad and cause resentment, whereas compromise feels good a can cause understanding.

Willing and willful are on the same side of the coin

Willing and willful are two aspects of the same tenet.  The opposite side of the coin is averse and unmindful.  Inclination and intent vs disinclination and unplanned.

In other words, this is the difference between making a choice to live life, versus letting life live you.  You decide who and what you desire to be, instead of going along with whatever happens along the way, and making choices to achieve a life you most aspire to live.

When we are aware and mindful of our thoughts, our feelings, and our intentional actions that come from these, we can choose the best options to let us experience life to its fullest.  No quick-fix, no easy way, but practicing intent when being willing and/or willful can take us just about anywhere we aim to go.

Are you cheerfully consenting when willing and intentional when willful in living the fullest possible life you can?

This is the three-hundred seventy-sixth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life to consciously create reality.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way, and empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

After more than 7 years of Pathwalking, I have launched a Patreon to garner support for these works, and more.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog.  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive your free eBook.  Thank you!

Name *FirstLastEmail *CommentSubmit

The post How Are Willing and Willful Similar and Different? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Words Have Power to Build Positivity

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Words have power.

It is really easy to forget the power of the words we say.  When we say negative things, we tend to create bad feelings.  When we say positive things, we tend to create good feelings.

It’s important to keep this in mind when we are talking to other people.  But it is also of equal importance to keep this in mind when we are talking to ourselves.  And by talking to ourselves, I am not necessarily referring to actually talking to ourselves aloud, but how we talk to ourselves inside our own minds.

Because words have power, how we think about ourselves, and what we say as such matters a lot.  What’s more, there are some specific phrases that can empower either positivity or negativity.

These are, I would argue, the most powerful phrases we can employ.  These words have power, whether we speak them or think them, whether to and about ourselves, or to and about others.

These particular phrases include:

I Am
Thank you
Please
You’re Welcome
I Love You
I Can
I Do
I Desire
I have

When we use these specific phrases they are tremendously empowering…or disempowering.  This is where intent of positivity versus negativity matters.  The former empowers, the latter disempowers.  Whether we are making use of these phrases internally or externally, mindfulness of our intent matters quite a lot.

I think that one of issues with the semi-anonymity of the internet is that people neglect that words have power.  People write things out online that I suspect they would never say in person to someone’s face.  They neglect the power of their words, because they do not fear repercussions or being accountable.

Words Have Power to Build or Destroy

Whatever phrases that you choose to employ, keep in mind the power of your words.  Are you going to be helping with building up or tearing down?  Will you be creating or destroying?  Are your words making someone feel good, or feel bad?  Do you use your powerful words to spread positivity or negativity?

I know that it is pretty close to impossible to ALWAYS be on top of the words you say.  Sometimes you react in a moment or a situation not at your best.  However, even when this happens, you have the opportunity to fix it.  You cannot undo anything, but you can take any necessary action, such as assuming responsibility for your words, and apologizing if needs be.

The point of this is to be mindful of the power of your words, whether you say them to others or think them about yourself.  Words have power, and you can use that power to make your life better.  When you make your own life better, you can best work to change the world for the better, too.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action

Knowing that words have power, we can choose how to employ them, whether we speak or think them, to ourselves or to others.  When we recognize the power of our words, and how we can use them to create, build, and generate positivity, we ultimately empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we become more aware and mindful, and tend to spread that feeling to others around us. As such, we can build more positive feelings.

We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we eradicate negative feelings, we open up space to let in more positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.

Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  An attitude of gratitude is a positive attitude that begets even more good energies, and that is always worthwhile.

This is the two-hundred and sixty-fifth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

After more than 7 years of weekly blogging, I have launched a Patreon to garner support for these works, and more.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog.  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive a free eBook.

Name *FirstLastEmail *NameSubmit

The post Words Have Power to Build Positivity appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Responsible and Accountable is a First Step in Forgiveness

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While it is important to be responsible and accountable for your thoughts, feelings and actions, there is a massively important aspect of this notion we cannot ignore.

When you have accepted responsibility and accountability, you need to forgive yourself.

Forgiveness can be difficult in many ways.  When somebody does something awful to you, directly or indirectly, it may not be so easy to forgive them.

But in many respects, it is even harder for us to forgive ourselves. As a part of the human race, it is important to acknowledge the following Five Truths of Your Self:

You will screw up. Plain and simple, you are going to screw up in some way.
You will fail. The best laid plans and all that stuff.  Sometimes, you fail.
You will be wrong. Nobody is right all the time, whether this involves thoughts, feelings, actions, or a combination therein.
You will get hurt. Might be mental, emotional, physical, or all of the above.  Sorry, it’s part of the human condition.
You will hurt others. Most likely this is mental/emotional and unintentional, but because you cannot control how other people feel, causing hurt happens.

You can run, you can avoid this, but you will have to face it.  Hopefully not all at once, but that can happen, too.  When these things happen, being responsible and accountable for them is the first step.  The second step is to forgive yourself.

Being responsible and accountable is a first step in forgiving yourself

Straight to the point.  When I acknowledge my screw up, failure, wrong, hurt or whatever, and do not blame another for it, it clears the air.  Ever do something wrong, and totally fear what would happen when you fessed up to it?  When you did, even if it went badly for you, didn’t you FEEL relieved, and better?  That matters.

This is why it is better to take on responsibility and accountability for yourself.  You clear the air, you create an end point, rather than an open-ended question of doubt and uncertainty that blame tends to make.  You may not like doing it, you may feel ashamed, angry, frustrated, or any number of other unpleasant feelings about it, but it is still the best thing to do.

 

That written, now you need to still forgive yourself.

It is seldom easy to forgive.  In especial when you feel wronged.  But it is actually even harder to forgive yourself.  We hold ourselves generally to the highest standard of them all.  As such, when we screw up, we tend to become hyper-critical rather than forgiving of ourselves.  When we are responsible and accountable for the above Five Truths from the get go, it can help quite a lot.

Psychology and self-help gurus both put a huge amount of energy into this notion.  There are any number of tools available to help with forgiveness.  One that I think, however, that they do not give sufficient attention to is being responsible and accountable for ourselves.

There is nobody but me who has control over MY thoughts, feelings, and actions.  In truth, even claiming that you allowed someone else control of these things is a form of blame.  In many respects, it is the ultimate lack of responsibility and accountability.

Responsible and accountable is a part of the total package

Mindfulness is an effort to be more aware of what we think, feel, and act upon.  Or, in other words, mindfulness is taking responsibility and being accountable for thoughts, feelings, and actions.  Run all you want, the world is curved – you will just wind up exactly where you started.

This inescapable truth can be super-scary.  When you do something along the line of the above Five Truths of Your Self, often the LAST thing you want to do is acknowledge it.  The disappointment, the shame, the guilt, the hurt, the rest of the potential negative emotions can be overwhelming.

Consciousness creates reality.  If you expect those negative reactions, you are more-or-less asking for them.  How about instead simply accepting that you are responsible and accountable, and letting the chips fall where they may?  Chances are the actual effect will be much less painful than what you fear.

Once again, referring to a favorite quote from Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist.  “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”

You may argue that in the process of screwing up/failing/being wrong/hurting/getting hurt you were not in search of your heart’s dreams.  I beg to differ.  Most of the things we wind up needing to forgive ourselves for come from some attempt to do something.  It may have been big, or small, but we made a choice, a decision, and took a thought, applied feeling, and acted.

As a result of that action, one of the Five Truths of Your Self was the end result.

Being responsible and accountable means more choices and decisions are made

Now you have a new choice.  Let that negativity linger…or let it go.  To let it go, you are going to need to forgive yourself.

How do you forgive yourself?  This is the most difficult aspect of this idea.  The how is the single largest challenge of this process.  And just to add insult to injury, there is no one way to do this.  What works for me may not work for you, and so on.

That written, however, in my experience the best way to forgive yourself is to be accepting.  Accept the Five Truths of Your Self, acknowledge that they are inevitable, and remember that it happens.  Most people do not set out to cause hurt, in especial to themselves.  The screw up/failure/wrong/hurt is how we grow, and learn.  Working to see it as an opportunity to improve your life alongside accepting it make strong tools of forgiveness.

I know this answer is vague…but the specifics are always going to be unique and individual.  We do not think or feel the same way.  But we are equally capable of forgiveness.

Side note – forgiving is not the same as forgetting.  Letting go is specific to the negative feelings, not the activity that generated them.  Forgetting would mean you likely would learn nothing from the experience, and that could be tantamount to easily repeating it.

This is a choice, and you get to decide to be responsible and accountable for your own forgiveness.

Will you be responsible and accountable for the Five Truths of Your Self?

This is the three-hundred seventy-fifth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life to consciously create reality.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way, and empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

After more than 7 years of Pathwalking, I have launched a Patreon to garner support for these works, and more.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog.  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive your free eBook.  Thank you!

Name *FirstLastEmail *EmailSubmit

The post Responsible and Accountable is a First Step in Forgiveness appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How is Accountable Mindful?

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Being accountable is an important aspect of mindfulness.

When you are mindful, you are choosing to be aware of yourself.  You are aware of what you are thinking, how you are feeling, and actions you are taking from there.

When we are mindful of ourselves, we need to be accountable.  Why?  Because the only way to improve our lot in life is to be accountable for being where we have gotten to in the first place.

Society loves to blame.  We see it on every level, from the child who doesn’t want to be punished for stealing a cookie to the President who doesn’t want to be responsible for anything.  We blame someone or something else, rather than take responsibility and be accountable for that which we have done.

In seeking mindfulness, however, accountability is important.  When we are being aware of our selves, we need to become accountable to ourselves.  Nobody else is responsible for our thoughts, feelings, and actions but ourselves.

I am the only one who is capable of thinking, feeling, and acting for myself.  There is nobody else who can make me do anything, unless I allow them to do so – but it still remains on me.  Acknowledging just this much is a matter of pretty major accountability.

So why even bother with mindfulness of you also need to be accountable?  Because in being aware of ourselves and taking responsibility for that which we are, we can change it.  And even if we do not desire to change it at this time, we are more whole and complete when we are mindful.

If you prefer to be in any control at all over you own life, then mindfulness is a must.  And as a part of that, so too is accountability.

Accountable is mindful

Taking responsibility is an important step in mindfulness.  It allows us to know where we are at, how we have gotten here, and provides us the means to move on.  Recognizing that the thoughts feelings and actions of the past brought you where you are now, you can discover how to change them.  If you are good where you are, you can see how you might continue to be.

If, however, you desire to make changes, you can see what you have done thus far, and adjust accordingly. Consciousness creates reality.

Taking responsibility is less complicated than we tend to make it.  The world seldom, if ever, really, will come to an end because you decide to be accountable for yourself.  We all make mistakes, that is part of human nature.  Blame gets nobody anywhere, so why not be accountable, rather than creating more chaos in the world?

Mindfulness and accountability can do a great deal towards generating more positivity in our world.  Blame is seldom the truth, and only creates difficulties, insecurities, and negativity.  Sure, owning up to our shortcomings is not fun…but it allows us to repair or replace them as needed.

Being accountable is an essential part of being mindful.  When we accept and work with this, we empower ourselves to not only better our lives, but to help better the world.  I don’t know about you, but I find that a pretty worthwhile idea.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that being accountable is a part of being mindful, we can work with this, and not throw blame instead of taking responsibility for things.  When we work to be accountable for not only our victories but our mistakes and errors, we don’t lessen ourselves, in truth we ultimately empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we become more aware and mindful, and tend to spread that feeling to others around us. As such, we can build more positive feelings.

We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we eradicate negative feelings, we open up space to let in more positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.

Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  An attitude of gratitude is a positive attitude that begets even more good energies, and that is always worthwhile.

This is the two-hundred and sixty-fifth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

After more than 7 years of weekly blogging, I have launched a Patreon to garner support for these works, and more.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog.  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive a free eBook.

Name *FirstLastEmail *NameSubmit

The post How is Accountable Mindful? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

What is Self-Help?

This post contains affiliate banner links. For more info, see my disclosures.

 

The key to self-help is right there in the name.

Self.  Help.  As in you help your self.

Ironically, despite this idea of working with ourselves to help ourselves, people still seem easily inclined to give up their power, and turn to others to improve their lives.

There are certainly plenty of times where we need the help of others.  Doctors can treat illnesses and prescribe needed medications.  Psychologists can help us to find and experience a better mental state.  Teachers and mentors provide us with information to expand our minds.

There are a lot of self-help gurus out there.  Some offer ideas ranging from the practical to the esoteric.  There are some that will sell you products beyond books full of their ideas to help you better your life.  Classes, seminars, gems, stones and essential oils get pitched as part of the self-help world.

Please understand, I am not badmouthing anyone, or writing here that what they offer isn’t helpful.  A lot of the things the gurus present can improve your life, help you to be healthier, happier, wealthier, wiser, smarter, and more empowered.  However, every single one of them uses the exact same key to start the engine of self-help.

You.

Self-help is all about you

In looking at the various options and ideas for self-help, many of which I have worked with in my own life, one thing I notice is that all of them, at their core, say exactly the same thing.  No matter what approach they take, all self-help modalities originate at the same point.

Self.  Help.  This is about you doing for you to help you.

Obvious, no?  Except, for a lot of people, they still miss the point.  I admit, when I am having a bad day I tend to miss it, too.

Any and all self-help only works when you, and you alone, employ it.

I can present you with Ten Positive Things for Your Awareness, Seven Sources to Inspire Positivity, Three Ways to Live Life, Five Truths about Heart and Head, or any number of nuggets of wisdom I have shared over the past seven years.  These are among many tools I offer to help you help yourself.

I’ve already begun a bi-weekly podcast to share the notion of Awareness for Everyone.  I could create additional books, workshops, classes, and webinars to present you with more.

But no matter what material I present to you, the only person empowered to USE this stuff is YOU.

Nobody else can do this for you.  And that is the single most important truth about self-help.  Only you can employ this.  Only you can really know and be you.

It does not matter if we are talking about awareness, mindfulness, consciousness creating reality, the Law of Attraction, or what-have-you.  There is one, and only one person capable of using any tools that you may come across along the way.

You.

Self-help works when you help yourself

Plain and simple, the notion of self-help, no matter how it’s presented, always works the same.  You need to do the work to help yourself.

There are a number of things it is important that we recognize and acknowledge about self-help and everything that goes into it.  A lot of this gets swept under the rug, not out of any maliciousness or profiteering, but because it’s the least attractive aspects about self-help:

Self-help is not a quick-fix process. There are NO genuine quick-fixes that ever truly solve matters.
Self-help requires time and effort. Like getting to really know anyone in the world, it takes time to get to know yourself.  Being mindful of yourself is how self-help does any good for you in any way.
Self-help cannot be done by anyone other than you. Straight to the point, no matter what guru, teacher, mentor, or doctor you might look to, they cannot help you.  All they can do is give you tools which you can employ…or not.
Self-help only works when you choose it. You cannot succeed with self-help if you only do it halfway.  You need to give it thought, feeling, and intentional action if you are going to make anything of it.
Self-help is challenging. We all have aspects of ourselves we’re less than fond of.  In the process of working to help the self, we will encounter and face them.  Fears, doubts, uncertainties and other matters have caused more than one person to quit, shift modalities, or otherwise declare all self-helpery to be bullshit.
There is no one-true-way. Whether your approach involves Buddhism, meditation, crystal healing, religion, essential oils or anything else under the sun or moon, no way is more right than any other.  All of them can work, but only when you yourself work them.


Self-help is seldom the only way

A lot of people feel depressed, anxious, scared, frustrated, angry, or otherwise discontent.  Some of this comes from personal matters, while some comes from broader impersonal issues.  Whatever the feeling, it generally tends to make us feel that we have a total lack of control.  We feel powerless and disempowered.

The only thing we have any control over whatsoever is ourselves.  Self-help recognizes this.  On an even deeper level, the only thing about ourselves we can control is our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

When we are not aware or mindful of what we are thinking and how it makes us feel, we cede that control to our subconscious.  This can drive us to find distractions, unhealthy alternatives to escape problems like drinking, drugs, meaningless sex, and so forth.  Those moments when we are drunk, high, or experiencing erotic pleasures can be mirrors for feeling in control.  But they are not true mirrors – they are more like distorted fun-house mirrors.

The problem is that they are temporary, and about as far from real as you can get.

Self-help recognizes that we are each empowered to use our personal power to improve our lives.  It does not necessarily work alone, either.  When we seek counsel and support from friends and loved ones, therapy, and even medication, this is all a part of the greater whole that ultimately makes up self-care.

Self-help can be an important tool in improving our lives.  When we are mindful of why we desire to change our lives, self-help can play an important role in empowering us.  But it only works when we remember that self-help works only when you help yourself, no matter what tools you employ in doing that.  This is about YOU.

How do you employ self-help to help better empower your life?

This is the three-hundred seventy-fourth entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life to consciously create reality.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way, and empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

After more than 7 years of Pathwalking, I have launched a Patreon to garner support for these works, and more.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog.  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive your free eBook.  Thank you!

Name *FirstLastEmail *MessageSubmit

The post What is Self-Help? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

What Do You Think?

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It’s not just what you say, it’s what you think.

Words matter.  It is not only spoken words, but written words we need to consider.  For some reason, the semi-anonymity of posting online has caused people to be incautious and unkind with what they put out there.  It takes very little for context to get skewed, or for someone to decide to stir a pot and create conflict on social media right now.

But in many respects, what is more important to acknowledge is that thoughts matter quite a lot, too.  Being aware of what we think can make all the difference in how any given day goes.  If we allow our thoughts to lean towards the negative, odds are we will experience bad, negative things.

However, when we keep mindful of our thoughts, and we work to lean towards the positive, odds are we will experience good, positive things.

It’s important here to recognize that this is imperfect.  Why?  Because you and I have no control over the world us.  All sorts of outside influences can impact us at any given moment, and distract us away from intent, awareness, and mindfulness.

When this happens – and it will happen – we are each empowered to handle this.  Things happen that make us angry, hurt, sad, and otherwise negative.  How long we hold onto this, though, is up to us.

Remain under a dark cloud, or step out from beneath its influence?  This choice belongs entirely to you.  What you think will ultimately dominate what you say, how you feel, and your actions.  This is why being mindful of what we think is so important.

What you think is up to you

The one thing anyone has any even remote control over is our own thoughts, feelings, and actions.  We cannot do anything for anyone else, nor can they do for us.  Even if we do allow another to control us, we have chosen to cede control, and are still responsible for it.

The concept of mindfulness is super simple.  It is about being aware of what you think, what you feel, how you feel, and how you act from that.  Being aware of these matters is the key.  When you know what you are thinking et al, you can choose to stay there – or move on.

If your thoughts are dominated by negativity, you can choose to leave that place.  You get to decide if you prefer creating positivity for yourself.

In addition to the online written thoughts shared, we tend to say things thoughtlessly.  This is not necessarily spoken at or to another, it more often is about ourselves.  When you are saying I am fat, I am lazy, I am a loser, I am a screw-up, I am unworthy and so on, you have opened a big window into your psyche.  Your thoughts have been put on display by your words…and you may not even have known this is what you think about yourself.

It’s not just what you say, it’s what you think.  When we are more mindful of our thoughts, we can use our words, spoken or written, to shift where we are at.  Are you working with negativity or positivity?  The answer may surprise you, and may open you up to a new and better way.

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing that it’s not just what you say, it’s what you think, you can see that you have the ability to create change that can improve your life.  When we work on being more mindful of our thoughts, words, feelings, and actions, we gain awareness of ourselves, from which we empower ourselves.  When we feel empowered, we become more aware and mindful, and tend to spread that feeling to others around us. As such, we can build more positive feelings.

We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we eradicate negative feelings, we open up space to let in more positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.

Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  An attitude of gratitude is a positive attitude that begets even more good energies, and that is always worthwhile.

This is the two-hundred and sixty-fourth entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

After more than 7 years of weekly blogging, I have launched a Patreon to garner support for these works, and more.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog.  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive a free eBook.

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The post What Do You Think? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Why Be Mindful?

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Why is being mindful all the rage in the self-help world?  I can tell you that there is more than one answer, and they are likely all right, and all wrong at the same time.

The concept of mindfulness and being mindful takes in a lot of different approaches.  Meditation, psychiatry, self-help and philosophy all apply the idea in order to better ourselves and enrich our lives.

However, often the why doesn’t get explained.

Part of this is because the why is that wonderful paradox of super simple and insanely complex.  It gets analyzed and examined ad nauseam, and we dive into the deep-end of the pool to see just how deep it really is.

While listening to Jeremy Irons reading Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist for the umpteenth time, I was struck by the notion of the Emerald Tablet in alchemy.  If you are not familiar with this, the Emerald Tablet is the secret of alchemy, a few lines inscribed on the aforementioned emerald.

Yet rather than understand the simple meaning of those lines, scholars write long interpretations, tracts, and encoded, pseudo-scientific research papers on the deeper meaning of those lines.  In the story, The Alchemist himself explains that people rejected simple things in the attempt to find shortcuts and better ways.

Mindfulness is along that same line.  In the simplest of terms, being mindful is about being aware of ourselves.  Mindfulness is being able to know, right now, in this singular moment, what you are thinking, what and how you are feeling, and what you are doing as a result of that.

However, many lack enough self-awareness to be mindful.

Being mindful of the self

Most of the animal kingdom has a very simple existence, relatively speaking.  Find food, get shelter, propagate the species, survive and thrive.  Humans do this as well…except we can think on a far more abstract level.

Most of the rest of the animal kingdom fears tangibles, like predators, storms, and other natural disasters.

Humans, on the other hand, fear intangibles like am I worthy? do I deserve this? am I good enough? and so on.  Because of these abstract intangibles, as well as any number of outside influences, the notion of self gets convoluted, confused, and even lost.

My cats know who they are.  They eat, play, sleep, and demand attention on their own terms.  With the exception of anticipating that the red dot might be around for a chase or it’s time to wake the thumb-monkeys for treats, they live in this moment alone.  They are always mindful of their self.

Humans, however, tend to lose themselves.  We get lost in our jobs, our plans for the future, our mistakes of the past, and the impressions made on other people.  I would guess that at least ninety-five percent of how we get lost is entirely in our own heads.  Thoughts and feelings get all jumbled, and as such actions are often tentative or even subconscious.

I do not know anyone who hasn’t gone through a period of questioning their life in some way or other.  Job choices, relationship choices, dietary choices, and other potentially life-altering issues get called to question.  In the wake of this, the notion of identity, the self, gets lost.

This is why being mindful of the self matters.  We tend to be aware of the world around us, but less so about the world within us.

Being mindful is easier than we think

When we look at the world around us, it is complicated, and blended in a largely disorderly manner.  Further, just to add another layer of complexity, people have an unfortunate tendency to take too many things personally.  Often-abstract issues become personal affronts, and an off-color joke, which might well be inappropriate, becomes a terrible slight.

I believe that much of this is because we are so caught-up in the idea of being connected to the world around us, that we have lost our connection to ourselves.  Being mindful is, put simply, connecting to ourselves.  It’s like commenting on your own Facebook post rather than the post a friend or acquaintance put up.

We worry about the future and angst about the past.  Instead of being mindful of our own place, we are concerned more about the impression we are making on others.  Like any addiction, the longer we stray from being aware of our own selves, the more rehab it takes to be mindful.

Oh, and just to add one more obnoxious twist: being mindful can feel selfish.  Self-care, which is utterly necessary to our wellbeing, gets too-easily confused with selfishness.  As such, we will frequently put it aside in the interest of making a good impression on our friends, family, coworkers, and random strangers.  Why?  So that we do not come across as a selfish jerk like that guy (insert random selfish person you know or see on TV here.)

But being mindful is NOT selfish.  All being mindful is is being aware of what you are thinking, feeling, and subsequently acting upon.  Asking What am I thinking?  What am I feeling?  How am I feeling?  What am I doing? in the here-and-now is simply being mindful, and present.

Why be mindful?

Because so many of us have lost ourselves along the way, mindfulness is knowledge of the self.  When we know ourselves, we can take better care of ourselves.  We can do things that make us feel good, strengthen our innate abilities, and as such provide ourselves with more to give to others.

Why be mindful?  Because to live and experience rather than go through the motions and simply exist is, I believe, what most of us truly desire in life.  Further, in being more aware of ourselves, we gain knowledge we can use to share better, and express more kindness and empathy to the rest of the animal kingdom on this planet.

This is far more practical and simple than we tend to make it.  When you feel stuck, or lost, or anxious, or otherwise uncertain, consider if asking these four simple questions and being mindful of the answers might just help you.  When you help yourself, you are better capable of helping the world.

What am I thinking?

What am I feeling?

How am I feeling?

What am I doing?

This is the three-hundred seventy-third entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life to consciously create reality.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way, and empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

After more than 7 years of Pathwalking, I have launched a Patreon to garner support for these works, and more.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog.  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive your free eBook.  Thank you!

Name *FirstLastEmail *PhoneSubmit

The post Why Be Mindful? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How Is Positivity Worthwhile?

This post contains affiliate banner links. For more info, see my disclosures.

 

Positivity cannot be created by thought alone.  Neither can it be forced.

One of the key tenets of the self-help movement has been the numerous concepts presented to us about the “power of positive thinking”.  What many take away from this notion is that if you think positive, you will create a better life for yourself.

The problem is, that’s only half the battle, so to speak.  It is not just thought, but feeling.  If you think positive but don’t feel positive, the end result is not going to be what you desire.  What’s more, if you take actions that are lacking in positivity, you still will not achieve the desired end result.

Conscious reality creation requires thought, feeling, and action in order to manifest the life you desire.  Since I am pretty certain that most of the realities we wish to create are meant to make us feel good, having a positive attitude is a matter of course.

Why be positive?  Look at the world around us.  When we are inundated with so much negativity, greed, corruption, sadness, and messages of lack and scarcity.  The more we take that into ourselves, the more we feed it.  The more we feed it, the larger it gets.  Anyone who has experienced the weight loss yo-yo understands how hard it is to shed excess weight as opposed to adding it.  Negativity works in the same way.

Using the same analogy, anyone who has dieted knows that if you force the change, while you may get an immediate result, it is seldom lasting.  Worse, you may end up with more than you started with.  You need to take a broader, more long-term vision to remove excess weight for good.  The same is true of removing negativity.

Positivity is a choice

Like making healthy choices in our diet and exercise to regulate weight, we need to make healthy choices in consuming positive over negative things.  One way to do this is to be aware of the media we consume, be conscious of the attitudes of the people we keep company with.

But most important of all, we need to know our own feelings.  If we are not feeling positive, we will certainly have a difficult time thinking and acting positively.  If we are not mindful of our thoughts and feelings, our subconscious will be running the show.  This can get particularly problematic, in especial if we are bathing in a sea of negative outside influences.

It is also important to recognize that no outside influence will grant us positivity – to find it, we have to reach within ourselves, and when we can do that we can share it, and draw more of it to us.  There are influences outside of ourselves that will make us feel good, but it is up to each of us to hold onto that feeling to actively create positivity.

Is it worth it?  Is the effort to feel, think and act positive really worth all the effort it can take?  Yes.  Why?  Because I don’t know anybody that wants to feel depressed, sad, lonely, or just plain negative consciously.

I know how I prefer to feel.  So before you share that meme about the latest awfulness in the world, why not share something positive?

Finding positivity is not hard, but it does require action.

Knowing why it is better to live positively over negatively, we can see the value of expending the effort to improve our lives.  When we know that we can treat positivity like we treat our dietary needs, we can choose a more positive diet, which can help to dissolve negative feelings – which ultimately allows us to empower ourselves. When we feel empowered, we become more aware and mindful, and tend to spread that feeling to others around us. As such, we can build more positive feelings.

We can use the positive feelings this generates to dissolve negative feelings. When we eradicate negative feelings, we open up space to let in more positive feelings, and that is something we can be grateful for.

Gratitude leads to happiness.  Happiness is the ultimate positive attitude.  An attitude of gratitude is a positive attitude that begets even more good energies, and that is always worthwhile.

This is the two-hundred and sixty-third entry of my Positivity series.  It is my hope these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone.  Feel free to share, re-blog and spread the positivity.

After more than 7 years of weekly blogging, I have launched a Patreon to garner support for these works, and more.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog.  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive a free eBook.

Name *FirstLastEmail *WebsiteSubmit

The post How Is Positivity Worthwhile? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Why or Why Not?

This post contains affiliate banner links. For more info, see my disclosures.

 

Do you ever find that you are asking yourself why or why not a lot?

Often the topic can be similar, but it’s just a matter of approach.  Why take that chance?  Why not take that chance?

Why is a question we ask constantly, pretty much all of our lives.  Why is the sky blue?  Why are those people holding hands?  Why did he/she/they dump me?  And so forth.

Why not, however, is usually more rhetorical in nature.  Why not move to Albuquerque?  Why not ask him/her/them out?  Why not ask for that loan?  The reason that this is more rhetorical in nature generally is because when you ask in this manner, you have likely decided to do the thing, but are now looking for a means to talk yourself out of it.

Why not take a chance?  For a lot of people, myself included, fear of the unknown is pretty powerful.  Like super-scary, frightening consequences powerful.  However, the reality is that likely the outcome, good or bad, is less terrifying that it is being made out to be.

The only thing you or I have any control over is our individual thoughts, feelings, and actions.  We decide what to think about, how we are feeling, and actions to take along the way.  Though it can be really hard to accept, when we get anxious about the unknown, change, and taking a chance, we are building something out of nothing.

Sure, the outcome may not be what we most desire.  Chances are, however, that our greatest anxiety about the outcome is more frightening than what will actually, factually happen.

Why or Why Not Is a Matter of Direction

Taking chances comes with risks.  No doubt about that.  Go downhill skiing the first time, you risk falling.  Maybe even falling and hurting yourself.  On the other hand, go downhill skiing the first time, and maybe you’ll experience the thrill of the wind whipping past you as you whoosh down the hill, and experience a fun winter activity.

I am going to put this pretty bluntly here.  There are no guarantees in this life.  Every single day may be our last.  Bleak?  No, not at all.  I am not making this statement to be a downer.  I make this statement to point out that every single day is a new adventure.

Sure, every day is full of potentially scary things.  On the other hand, every day is full of amazing possibilities.  The point is, spending all of your time worrying about what may or may not happen is pointless.  You never know exactly what you will get.

I am not saying that planning out a future and setting goals is useless.  Not at all.  This is about facing the why or why not, and allowing fear and uncertainty to keep you from going somewhere you really desire to go.

Why not see every day full or potential?  The possibilities are really endless, and you never know what amazing things you might experience.

No, I am not saying you will not have horrible, awful, no-good days.  You will lose people you love, opportunities will elude you, and you may face depression, disappointment, and loneliness.  That is part of the human experience my friends.  When it does go badly and you are unhappy, however, you get to choose whether to linger there, or do what you can to release and move forward.

Why or Why Not Move Forward

The world is constantly changing.  It is an inevitable fact of life.  No matter how stagnant or static something may seem, it is changing.  You and I get to choose whether or not we accept it, encourage it, or resist it.  None of those are the wrong answer, depending on what the change is.

Also, it’s important to acknowledge that not all change is good.  So sometimes you need to resist it.

What we cannot do is go back.  We can only keep moving forward.  The past has passed, and rather than try to reclaim it, resurrect it, or otherwise bring it back, we need to learn to let it go and move forward.

I know that, per Einstein, time is an illusion.  Or in the parlance of Doctor Who a “Weebly-wobbly, timey-wimey ball of stuff.” However, our society perceives time largely in a linear fashion.  In that respect, you cannot go backwards, you can only move forwards.  The world changes, and you can sit there asking why, or approach it instead with a sense of why not?

Why are so many government officials corrupt?  How about, instead, ask Why not attend that rally or why not sign that petition or why not vote for the better candidate?  The former is a question that, even with an answer, offers no solution.  But the latter is an option with a solution, which is proactive rather than reactive.

Why or Why Not be Proactive?

Our society tends to be really reactive.  Rather than anticipate matters and take actions for them, we see things happen and react to them.  I think this is why we frequently go after quick-fix solutions, rather than long-term results.  We act reactively instead of proactively.

Asking why not is a more proactive approach than asking why.  It sets us in motion and sets up action, which will help us to go places of our choosing, rather than being carried along by the tide. Rather than just question something, you are questioning with recognition of a proactive action in response to the question.

Being proactive is the difference between always feeling behind and like you have limited options, and feeling in control with many options.  Truly, all too often being reactive does present us with more limited choices.  Since we did not take action beforehand, now we are playing catch-up.

When you and I are proactive, we are stepping into the realm of empowering our ability to use consciousness to create reality.  We get to not just watch the world go by, but to decide upon how we participate in our own lives, and how our finite time in this world is going to be.

I don’t know about you, but I certainly prefer having more options and making my own choices than not.

Will you approach your day today from why or why not?

This is the three-hundred seventy-second entry in my series. These weekly posts are ideas for, and my personal experiences with, walking along the path of life to consciously create reality.  I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world along the way, and empower myself and my readers with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me.  Feel free to re-blog and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including some expanded ideas, is available here.

After more than 7 years of Pathwalking, I have launched a Patreon to garner support for these works, and more.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my blog.  Fill in the info and click the submit button below and receive your free eBook.  Thank you!

Name *FirstLastEmail *PhoneSubmit

The post Why or Why Not? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.