M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 28

Why Are Habits Such a Hard Habit to Break?

Breaking a habit frequently requires a lot of conscious effort.Photo by Riccardo Fissore on Unsplash

People love quick-fix solutions.

From diet and exercise programs to pills to life hacks, modern society has a love affair with seeking and finding the quick fix. Get it done as fast as possible with as little effort as possible.

The problem is that quick fixes are nearly never true fixes.

For example – going on a diet can help a person lose weight. And it will continue to work for as long as you follow the plan. But soon as you’re off the diet – usually weight starts to be found again. (Diet, in this context, is a specific weight loss plan rather than a lifestyle change.)

Then, some want faster – so they seek the latest pill or similar drug to accelerate the fix further.

I find that the quickest fix tends to be the most fleeting fix. It seldom holds. The quick fix is like putting duct tape over a cracked window on a submarine. It won’t be long before the quick fix proves ineffective against the water pressure – and inevitably fail.

When it comes to habits and changing or breaking them – the quick fix nearly always fails. Why? Because habits are complex, multifaceted, and it takes time to build your habit in the first place.

Rome wasn’t built in a day

Habits are a part of the subconscious mind. Ergo, they are deeply embedded in your psyche.

Like values and beliefs, they are planted and take root over time.

Time is the issue. You don’t instantly form a habit. That’s not how habits are made.

Habits form via repetition. To create a habit, you need to consciously repeat said habit over and over – until it becomes subconscious.

It can take days, weeks, months, and even years to form a habit.

And that’s when you do it actively. You can also form a habit passively.

Something you subconsciously repeat can become habitual. And despite not intentionally working to create said habit, it becomes a regularly rote and routine occurrence.

Chewing on your fingernails is a perfect example of an unintentionally created subconscious habit.

Habits take time to create. And that’s why they take time to change or break.

Because of the interest in quick fixes, we often find it hard to accept that something that might have taken years to form will need more than seconds to be changed.

This is the first challenge in changing and breaking habits.

Habits are a hard habit to break

It took time to create any given habit. Thus, it takes time to change or break that habit.

But consciously acting to change or break habits requires mindfulness.

Mindfulness, in this context, is conscious awareness. Specifically, conscious awareness of the habit, what it is, what triggers it, how it impacts you, and other important details.

If you don’t know the habit, you can’t break it or change it.

No, you don’t need to go all the way back to its creation. Neither do you need to know if it was consciously or subconsciously created. But you need to know what, why, where, when, and how it is to change or break the habit.

Why? Because breaking and/or changing habits takes effort. Genuine, intentional effort.

Photo by Kaleidico on UnsplashAction is effort

Mindfulness is conscious awareness of yourself. Specifically, your of-the-moment mindset/headspace/psyche self.

To gain that conscious awareness, you just need to recognize what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, what intentions you have, and the actions you are or aren’t doing.

Identifying what you’re thinking, plus what and how you’re feeling, is how you can become consciously aware of anything and everything in your subconscious. Your beliefs, your values, and your habits, too.

But if you desire to change or break them – now you need to employ mindfulness of your intentions and actions.

When you seek to change or break a habit, there’s always a why. There’s a reason behind the desire to expend the effort to make the change.

For example – I desired to break my habit of chewing on my fingernails. Why? Because it can be painful, kinda icky, is an unflattering look, and simply doesn’t serve me.

Identifying the why provides the impetus to expend the effort to change and/or break habits.

This is where the intention and action part of mindfulness comes in. You must have an intention to change and/or break a habit. And then take action and act upon it.

What action?

Building new habits is a construction project

Are you familiar with the process of construction?

Let’s say you are renovating your kitchen. You generally start by hiring a designer. Then, you hire contractors to implement the plans. Additionally, you need to buy new appliances, get permits, and lots of other niggling details.

You were quoted 10 days for the work. Except, one day it rained so hard and got so damp, no work could be done. The delivery of the new appliances was delayed three days due to a supply issue. In demolishing the old kitchen, you came across what might or might not be asbestos and needed to investigate.

The 10-day project somehow balloons into a month. But in the end – you have your new, renovated kitchen.

Now, replace the word “kitchen” with “habit,” “designer” with “intention,” and “contractors” with “actions.”

As to the rest – permits, appliances, niggling details, and the various delays – these are factors outside of yourself. This includes obstacles, unexpected happenstance, other people, bad moods, and other matters that will simply be.

It takes perseverance to change, break, and/or build new habits. Recognizing and acknowledging that it’s seldom easy makes it less difficult to roll with the punches and handle the unexpected along the way.

Habits are a hard habit to break, and that’s not easy. But one key means to the end, when you seek to change your life how you desire it to be, is to break and/or change habits that don’t serve you. Hence, despite the challenges, the result of changing and/or breaking habits is a worthwhile endeavor.

Do you see why habits are such a hard habit to break?

This is the five hundred and ninety-second exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Why Are Habits Such a Hard Habit to Break? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How is the Unusual More the Usual Than the Unusual?

Who decides usual from unusual, anyhow?Photo by Pete Godfrey on Unsplash

I have never been called normal. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Being unusual is my usual.

As a kid, I was different from those around me on many levels – both physically and emotionally. As a teen, because of where I grew up, I was a good head shorter than most of the other boys my age. Unusual tended to be an apt descriptor for me.

Like most teens and twenty-somethings, I made multiple attempts to be “normal”. But that meant I wasn’t being me. And nobody can be wholly disingenuous about themselves without paying a price.

Mostly, you get lost and confused about who, what, how, and why you are.

Being yourself can also come with a price. Not being “normal”, or doing the expected, or not fitting in with everyone else can create some disconnects both tangible and intangible.

The irony to this is that, I believe, trying to not be unusual is the cause of a great deal of unnecessary stress on people. What’s more – even defining the “usual” versus “unusual” reveals that there is no One True Way.

My point, in all of this, is that embracing what makes you unusual is an excellent way to be less stressed, face toward positivity rather than negativity, find contentment, and even find joy more easily.

Being yourself is easier than being anyone else

Trying to fit in feels right. It feels good to be accepted by a crowd, develop a crew, and be a part of the group.

Human beings need connection. That’s just part of human nature. The trouble is, we’ve created amazing tools for connection that have actually disconnected us all.

Social media, for example, is inherently antisocial. When two people are together in one place – but not talking or sharing in one another’s company because they’re on their phones – that’s classical antisocial behavior.

What’s more, the internet has offered a degree of anonymity that some people abuse the crap out of. Look how many people have shown an utter lack of kindness, compassion, and caring in the comments on numerous posts on Facebook.

And yet, you and I try to be what others need and want us to be so that we are not kicked off the island or banished from the herd/tribe. So you try to be someone you believe others desire to see.

I’ve done this several times. And while there was, along the way, acceptance and community formed – it faded.

In part, it faded because of the inevitability of change. But more than that – it faded because I was being disingenuous to myself.

Pretending I was not as big a geek as I am disempowered me. Allowing myself to be the butt of numerous jokes and the group clown depressed me. Before I knew it – I was unusual not so much from the world – but from myself.

The wake-up call was swift, but answering it took time and effort. You don’t need to be hit by a car crossing a street and have a near-death experience for your wake-up call. All you need to do is be consciously aware.

That’s mindfulness, of course.

Mindfulness is too unusual

One of the biggest issues that come from the disconnect caused by social media is a total lack of mindfulness.

Conscious awareness is not about what’s out there, outside of you. It’s about what’s in there, within you. Specifically, your head, heart, and soul – or to better quantify this, your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

If you watch people out in the world, head down and buried on their phones and tablets, it’s easy to see that mindfulness isn’t common. Don’t get me wrong – I spend time on my phone, too – but largely in private and when I’m alone. When I’m out and about or among other people, I strive to be present and consciously aware.

The thing about mindfulness is that it only works in the here and now. Other than in the moment, in the present, mindfulness is a no-go.

Being mindful is about you. That is in no way, shape, or form, selfish. After all – who are you if you aren’t you? Also – why, what, where, and how are you if you’re not you?

When more people are mindful, they are more accepting of their true, genuine, and unusual selves. And in that way – the unusual can be the usual.

Mindfulness opens the way to choosing to look towards negativity or positivity, Ultimately, that is hugely empowering.

Photo by pawel szvmanski on UnsplashEmbrace yourself for all that you are

When you embrace your unusual, you have amazing experiences that make great stories afterward.

I’d like to share two of my favorite expressions of how unusual I am.

Story 1. In 2007, I took an epic road trip across the southern United States. While in Santa Fe, New Mexico, walking around and exploring, I’d noticed a guy who looked quite a bit like actor Orlando Jones walking around with a camera and a tripod.

After a while, I saw him heading right for me. When he reached me, he unexpectedly offered to shake my hand. That was weird.

Then it got weirder, because as I accepted his handshake he said, “I just had say, you’re an odd-looking fellow.” And he walked away.

Who does that?

Really, I am not making this up!

Story 2. My eventual wife and I were on our 3rd or 4th date, and I probably quoted some sci-fi film or made another dorky/geeky remark, prompting her to say, “You’re the most unapologetic geek I’ve ever met!”

This is the way.

Being unusual, blatant or subtle, isn’t that unusual after all. Resisting it, however, will make you unhappy, distressed, and frustrated.

But when you embrace your unusual, you open yourself to more empowerment. And you can use that power to find things that bring you contentment and joy – and make your life experience a better, more positive one.

Why is it so unusual to strive to live a good, enjoyable, worthwhile life? Maybe it should be more of the usual, don’t you think?

Recognizing that the unusual is more the usual isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.

When you recognize and acknowledge that being unusual is not truly unusual, you open yourself up to greater self-awareness and finding and/or creating contentment and even joy. Knowing that you are worthwhile and deserving of being your genuine, unusual self, opens you to greater potential, possibilities, and choosing a life experience that brings you that contentment and even joy.

This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.

To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the four hundred-and-eighty-first entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post How is the Unusual More the Usual Than the Unusual? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How and Why Do People Have a Problem with Inclusivity?

Any problem with inclusivity comes from artificial lack, scarcity, and insufficiency.Photo by Viviana Couto Sayalero on Unsplash

It never ceases to amaze me how bent out of shape people get over inclusivity.

No matter what the topic – race, gender, color, religion – you will find somebody objecting to inclusivity.

Logically, and reasonably, this makes no sense at all. Why would you want to deny other people their rights, freedoms, and acts of basic human decency?

In asking this question lots and lots, I believe I have an answer. And it has nothing at all to do with inclusivity.

The problem is one of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency.

But not true, actual lack, scarcity, or insufficiency. The problem people have with inclusivity is a matter of an artificial belief in lack, scarcity, and insufficiency.

Where does that come from? Messages that if you let ‘person or group x’ have more, then you and yours will have less.

When it comes to inclusivity – this is an utter lie.

The artifice of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency

Where does this idea of lack come from?

I can’t prove this scientifically, but based on my observations, most of it comes from various leaders and so-called leaders. Politicians, clergy, business leaders, and even celebrities create this artificial lack.

(Just a heads-up – going forward, when I write lack here, that also includes scarcity and insufficiency).

Before I get into the specifics of this, allow me to define why lack is utterly artificial in this regard.

Inclusivity, in and of itself, means inclusion. Opening up to more and greater for more than a limited few. Recognizing the right to exist of women, blacks, homosexuals, transgendered, Asian, Jewish, and all other frequently marginalized and ostracized peoples. Instead of ignoring or disregarding them in conversations and other forms of representation – inclusivity includes everyone.

What logical reason can anyone give to exclude people? There isn’t one. But there is a way to use an artificial sense of lack to be exclusive.

And it’s this: If you give “them” inclusivity, you will lack something in return.

Often this looks something like this – open the way for women and minorities to get equal pay, and because there’s never enough, the white guys will lose jobs and get less pay.

That’s bad enough. But then worse and more dangerous messages along this line get shared. Let people learn about the real history of Black America and/or homosexuality – and the false identity you’re convinced is your right ceases to be.

In all instances, suffering is the implied – and sometimes outright presented – result.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Because inclusivity doesn’t take anything away from anyone else. All lack associated with it is artificial and false.

There’s no danger from inclusivity

Religious zealots will tell you that homosexuals will turn your kids gay. White supremacists will tell you that Critical Race Theory will create false history (rather than present true history). Leaders of the patriarchy will tell you allowing women body autonomy will emasculate men and allow females to take over everything.

All of this is not at all real. Everything they resist is to preserve the artifice they’ve created.

Inclusivity is the process of addressing the artifice. That’s because there have ALWAYS been more than 2 genders, multiple sexual orientations, variable types of relationships, different skin colors, and so on. And nothing about any of the above should cause exclusionary practices.

But it has. And it still does. Inclusivity recognizes this and strives to create mindfulness of this fact. That, in turn, is with the intention of a broader understanding of one another and improving the world for everyone everywhere.

There is no danger and no harm from inclusivity. And I can prove it to you.

Do you like to be excluded from things? How do you feel when you’re excluded from a group or organization? How would you feel knowing full well that that exclusion is based on something utterly artificial?

I’m not judging you – but unless you’re a masochist – I’m pretty sure you’d dislike being excluded. Especially based on something that’s part of your genetics or artificial like how you worship (or don’t worship) a higher power.

Inclusivity is the recognition of this – and normalizing inclusion of and for all people.

Photo by Hannah Busing on UnsplashIt starts with you and me

There are many marginalized groups I am not and cannot be part of. Hell, you want to get technical – I’m the ultimate in not-marginalized. Because apart from being culturally Jewish – I’m a middle-aged, white, heterosexual, cis-gendered male.

That being written – I actively support inclusivity. I believe that Black Lives Matter, LGBTQA+ people have every right to exist and be themselves, women should have full bodily autonomy, and nobody should be excluded based on false ideas of lack for some resulting from including others.

If you feel like I feel about this – then choose to be more inclusive in what you do. This isn’t about pandering – it’s about being an ally. It’s about supporting inclusivity and fighting the forces hell-bent on exclusion to maintain a status quo that is full of bullshit.

As I strive to walk my chosen path in life, I recognize that I’m not alone in this world. And nobody else is me. What’s more, nobody’s alone in the world by any stretch of the imagination. Thus, I desire greater inclusivity because I’d like to see more people have the opportunity to find, create, and choose their own life paths.

Exclusivity denies you that right. And if everyone deserves to choose how their life should be – and what paths to walk – then everyone means greater inclusivity.

The vast majority of topics regarding inclusivity have nothing to do with tangibles and the material world.

Inclusivity reflects an abundant universe

Inclusivity is about being allowed to simply BE, when you get right down to it. Specifically, to be without threat or persecution, fear of consequences due to artifice, and to be able to choose from the same menu as everyone else.

If you’re a middle-aged white guy – like me – you have no idea what it’s like to be pulled over in a very white neighborhood as a black man and feel fear for your life. Likewise, you can get pills for your erectile dysfunction without some politician telling you that your limp dick is god’s will – unlike women in multiple states who can’t get abortions or other birth control without judgment and worse.

I could give you lots of examples above, but the point is that inclusivity matters. And when, like me, you’re not marginalized – it’s important to be an ally and actively work to be inclusive.

The truth is that inclusivity takes nothing away from anyone else. You won’t find anything lacking as a result of inclusivity – because this is an abundant Universe. And thus, there is more than enough to go around for everyone, no matter how you differ.

Most inclusivity comes down to recognizing and acknowledging that those who are different from you have the equal right to be. That doesn’t take anything whatsoever away from anyone else.

What it does do is acknowledge the vast abundance of the Universe. Planet Earth alone is home to 8 billion people. All of us are unique and different – but all of us desire to be. Inclusivity is an acknowledgment of this truth, and thus a reflection of the abundance of the Universe.

If you question practices of inclusivity, consider this – how does it make you feel to be excluded for any reason whatsoever?

This is the five hundred and ninety-first exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post How and Why Do People Have a Problem with Inclusivity? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Do You Have Some Days You Feel Like You’re Living a Lie?

I believe that everyone has some days like this.Photo by Elyas Pasban on Unsplash

Who in the hell am I?

That’s the question, isn’t it? Who are you?

Then, because that question alone isn’t sufficient, where, how, and why also get tossed into the mix.

Everyone makes choices every day. Some are small and largely automatic. Some are huge with massive effects/affects and/or consequences.

Whatever the case might be, you will have both good days and bad days. Among these, some good days are life-changing, life-affirming, and memorably incredible. But then, some days are life-changing, godawful, and horrifically forgettable.

Most days, though, just are. You have a day.

And society prefers it that way.

In the United States, as far as I can tell, the preferred “norm” to be maintained looks like this: Get out of bed, do your morning routine, go to work (some 9-5 gig, whether at an office, home office, or hybrid). Then you go home, chill and/or do a hobby-type thing, and/or watch TV, and/or play video games, and the like. After that, go to bed – rinse, repeat.

For some people, this works perfectly well, and they’re content with it. Mostly. But then, I suspect, given that they’re only human, they have days of discontent, too.

Some of us strive to live a life that isn’t the “norm”. And those choices have the same results, good days and bad, mixed experiences, and so on.

But do you ever have some days where you feel like you’re living a lie?

Certain points of view

If you’re familiar with Star Wars, then you know that when Luke first met Obi-Wan and asked about his father, the old Jedi told him that Vader betrayed and murdered his father.

Then we learn – spoiler alert! – Vader IS Luke’s father.

When Luke confronts Obi-Wan’s force ghost in Return of the Jedi about this, the force ghost says,

“What I told you was true – from a certain point of view.”

When questioned, he goes on to say,

“You’re going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.”

On the surface, that looks like total bullshit. But then – in real life – we get this from genius scientist Albert Einstein,

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

All of this says the same thing when you break it down. No two people experience life and their reality of it in the same way.

While there is a scientific “reality” as we know it – for a much more technical and better explanation of this, do some physics research – individual perception of reality is variable. And more – colored by individual experiences, environments, education, and so on.

Let’s add a level of complexity here, shall we? You and I individually perceive reality in our own ways. But we also interact with other people. Thus, when you and I interact, our realities intermingle and might blend. Or clash.

Whatever the case might be – some days you might be copacetic with those around you – while some days, you feel utterly alien to everyone and everything.

It’s not unusual for some days to feel like a lie

Whether you are living a life that meets the expected societal “norm” or marching to the beat of your own drums – there are days that don’t feel right.

On those days, you might question things. Small things – such as why did I eat that donut? Or big things – like why did I take that job or why did I move to this place?

It might feel as though you’re living a lie on those days. That lie might be teeny-tiny or ginormous. And in all probability – it’s not a lie at all.

So what is it?

That depends. Some days it’s a purely internal matter. Your head, heart, and soul might be having a 3-way tug-of-war. Or you feel some way counter to your thoughts. Or there is just something off about things you can’t put your finger on, and it’s gnawing at you.

Some days, it’s purely external. Your mom told you all about the success of an old High School pal and you compare your life to theirs. Or a casual remark on the part of a friend triggers something, and you feel like your life is a lie. Perhaps some other external stimulus makes you start to think or feel “wrong.”

And then, some days, it’s a blend. That coworker getting the promotion over you causes you to question everything. Before you know it, you’re spiraling down, and wondering if everything in your life is a lie. Or you finish a major project, and rather than the positive reaction you expected from others, you get nothing or negatives and start to question it all.

Everyone goes through this. And while what it is varies – there’s something you can do to gain more clarity.

Photo by Dingzeyu Li on UnsplashMindfulness to the rescue

Let me be completely clear here: Mindfulness is not a cure-all. Neither is it the One True Way or similar. Mindfulness is just a tool you can apply to get some clarity and guidance.

Mindfulness is action to be here, now. It’s a means for conscious awareness of yourself. And that awareness is a product of the present and only the here-and-now.

To employ this tool, all you need to do is ask any one of these questions (and by ask, I mean either ask aloud and/or write the questions and the answers out when you ask them):

What am I thinking?What am I feeling?How am I feeling?What are my intentions?What am I doing?

The answers to these questions can only be found here and now.

Once you ask these questions, you open the door to conscious awareness. Conscious awareness lets you look with clarity, in the now, at your life.

So, when some days you feel like you’re living a lie, odds are you have either fallen into subconscious beliefs, ideas, and notions. Or maybe you simply aren’t actively tapping into your mindset/headspace/psyche conscious self.

By asking any or all of the above questions, however, you take back control. That, ultimately, empowers you. Then you can see that you’re probably not living a lie – just having an off day.

And if you conclude that you ARE living a lie – mindfulness is a great tool to find and/or create a new truth.

Seeing the truth – when some days you feel like your life is a lie – isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.

When you recognize and acknowledge that everyone has good, bad, and off days, you can see that some days – when you feel like you’re living a lie – you can take action to free yourself of that sensation. Knowing that mindfulness is a tool that can give you clarity here and now when you experience this, you can actively choose how to analyze it – and initiate changes if needs be.

This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.

To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the four hundred-and-eightieth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Do You Have Some Days You Feel Like You’re Living a Lie? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Are You and Your Life Worthwhile and Deserving of What You Desire?

No matter what it is – you ARE worthwhile and deserving.Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

Everyone has bad days. That’s part of the human experience. Even the happiest, most upbeat, and most positive people have bad days. That’s the yin/yang of the Universe at play.

I know how it feels when you’re depressed. That sense of worthlessness, that you are unable to win, that no matter what you do, the Universe hands you shit sandwiches – and hovers over you until you take a nice big bite.

It thoroughly sucks to be sad, to have numerous bad experiences, and to feel victimized by life. But that’s not abnormal. Everyone has this happen to them to a greater or lesser extent.

Part of why I firmly believe that mental health care should get more respect – and be more reasonably priced – is because it’s incredibly beneficial. Not just to your mental health, but also your emotional, spiritual, and physical health, wellness, and wellbeing.

Why? Because everyone, everywhere thinks and feels. Some more, some less. But that doesn’t change the fact that this applies to everyone. And as such, feelings get hurt, thoughts turn dark and ugly, and you will have struggles you could use tools to overcome.

Through it all – no matter what your experience – there are two truths.

You and your life are worthwhileYou are deserving of living a life that lights you up

It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from, or anything else. You and your life are worthwhile and deserving.

Here are the reasons why.

You are NOT here by random happenstance

There’s no denying that shit happens to you. It happens to me, too. Random, undesirable happenings can, will, and do occur outside of your control. It’s also true that you will sometimes be the victim of circumstance.

I know how it can feel – like this always happens to you, and only you. It feels like no matter what you do, how much you try, no matter the effort expended – you’ll experience bad on bad on worse.

When this happens, it’s natural to feel alone. It’s also normal to feel like this only ever happens to you. But that’s simply not true. I’ve been there, too.

It feels like you’re here to be a punching bag for the Universe. But the thing is – you’re not just here randomly. You’re not the Universe’s special victim. You are a human, being.

Whether you believe it or not, you are here for a purpose. It might be grand or small. You might impact only your life, the lives of friends, or the world.

For all you know, this is the butterfly effect. If you’re not familiar with that – the idea is that a butterfly flapping its wings on one side of the globe can induce a hurricane on the other. Thus – when you have a good experience, it can be something incredible with a broader impact you only indirectly create.

Everyone – including you and me – is not here by random happenstance. We are too complex, too deeply connected energetically for that. You are here because you deserve to be here and experience life on many different levels.

You and your life are worthwhile and deserving

Beyond the meat suit you occupy to experience the world at large, your core is pure energy. That energy is the same as what makes up everything, like the stars in the sky, subatomic particles, and the whole cosmos.

As Yoda put it so well,

“Luminous beings are we. Not this crude matter.”

While all the rest of the plant and animal kingdom is also composed of energy at its core – humans are unique. That’s because (as far as we know) we’re the only ones who can attune to that energy and change the frequency.

No other creatures have created habitats in every known environment, developed tools to communicate instantly and globally, and can speed or slow their evolution. Human beings are it, at least on this planet.

When you get down to your core energy – it’s no different from mine. Neither is it different from his, hers, or theirs. All of us come from the same abundant, vast energy.

That’s why you and your life are worthwhile and deserving. Because you’re here to live.

Because you and I can alter the frequency of our energy, we can consciously create reality.

Before you roll your eyes at the hooky-spooky bullshit, let me elaborate. Conscious reality creation isn’t simply wishing it, willing it, and it happens. Too many proponents of the Law of Attraction will tell you otherwise. This is where the skepticism of the Law of Attraction, manifestation, and conscious reality rightly comes from.

True conscious reality creation takes mindful, conscious effort. And you are worthwhile and deserving of expending that effort to live the life you desire.

Photo by Deborah Diem on UnsplashGenuine mindfulness and authentic conscious reality creation

Here’s how mindfulness genuinely works for you, me, and everyone.

Mindfulness is not some out-there, wickedy-woo idea. Genuine mindfulness is conscious awareness of yourself. Specifically, awareness of your conscious, in-and-of-the-moment mindset/headspace/psyche.

You gain that true conscious awareness when you ask yourself questions like,

What am I thinking?What am I feeling?How am I feeling?What am I doing?

Each of the above questions can only be answered in the present, here and now. And that makes you consciously aware of yourself.

From that conscious awareness – i.e., mindfulness – you can consciously create reality.

However – you can’t just create reality from the vacuum. Think of it like a car accelerating. No car goes from zero to 60 MPH instantly, or without pressing down on the gas pedal. Depending on the engine, torque, and other factors, it might only take a few seconds. But it still takes time and effort.

Similarly, you can’t authentically consciously create reality without time and effort. Like an accelerating car – how that appears and happens is variable.

What that means is that you need to have focused desire for what you’re working to create. For example – I desire to be a bestselling author. That requires me to write books, edit them, traditionally publish or self-publish them, market them, write more books, and more. A lot of effort, time, and energy goes into creating the work to get to the reality I’m striving to consciously create.

If I never wrote or finished a book, this reality wouldn’t even be remotely possible.

But you can’t force reality to your will. And that’s the part where finding balance in mindfulness, the Law of Attraction, and conscious reality creation can be most frustrating.

Lack of feeling worthwhile and deserving is not true

Most of the reasons you and I will feel like we are neither worthwhile nor deserving are products of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency.

That notion of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency is frequently reinforced by messages from all kinds of sources. Those messages tell you that if you aren’t ‘X’, don’t have ‘Y’, didn’t come from ‘Z’, and on and on – you’re not sufficient, things are lacking, and there’s not enough.

This is utterly artificial. Why? Because this is an abundant Universe. All lack, scarcity, and insufficiencies are artificial.

This is especially true of the intangible and immaterial. They are in such abundance that they can’t now – or ever in the future – run out.

Most tangibles that are lacking or scarce can be supplemented or replaced in some way. For example – cars have run almost exclusively on fossil fuels for more than 100 years. Scientists have warned that the supply of fossil fuel in the Earth is finite and will run out. How will cars and other things be powered without them?

Have you noticed how more and more electric, battery-powered cars are arriving from nearly every manufacturer? Notice how battery technology is being heavily researched and improved upon? This is an example of an alternative resource being applied.

This goes to show how nothing truly is lacking, scarce, or insufficient. That’s why you are worthwhile and deserving of finding, creating, and living life how you most desire to.

Unless you intentionally hurt others, willfully cause harm, kick puppies, and the like – you are a good, worthwhile, and deserving individual.

Practice mindfulness and you’ll see for yourself how true this really is.

No matter what it is – you are worthwhile and deserving.

Can you recognize and acknowledge that you’re a worthwhile and deserving person?

This is the five hundred and ninetieth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Are You and Your Life Worthwhile and Deserving of What You Desire? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Do You Truly Get to Choose How to Feel After Sh*t Happens?

After your initial reaction – when sh*t happens – you get to choose how to feel.Photo by Steven Thompson on Unsplash

In the United States, tax time is almost here. In case you forgot – you should get on that this week.

I do my damndest to avoid math. While I’m not as bad at it as I sometimes think I am – I thoroughly dislike it. When it comes to the insanity that is taxes, I am perfectly happy to spend some money and hire someone to do taxes for me.

Last year, all the work I did was as a contractor, or independent in such a way that I got 1099 forms rather than W2 forms. The freedom and independence of my work is reflected by this, which initially doesn’t suck.

Until we reach now – tax time. Know why? Because thanks to 1099 employment – and no withholding of pay – I owe money to the state and federal government.

That was a blow I should have anticipated – but I didn’t. And I can’t deny that it hurt.

I got angry. Seriously, how much do I owe these assholes? Then, I got frustrated. Is it worth it to have this “independence” when I must pay out all this money annually?

And then, since that wasn’t enough, I felt worthless. Oh look – all the money we had built in savings goes to pay my taxes, now. Look at me pulling our household down and being a burden.

All these feelings occurred in less than 2 minutes of learning about what I owed for taxes. That’s because they were the immediate result of shit happening.

Initial visceral (knee-jerk) reactions

When shit happens, you will always have an initial, uncontrolled, visceral (knee-jerk) reaction to it.

Good or bad, you react with no thought. This is pure, unadulterated feeling. And you can’t control that initial, visceral reaction in the slightest.

Shit that happens – of this nature – includes getting into a car accident, news of an unexpected inheritance, breaking a bone, an unexpected and desired kiss, getting dumped, winning a prize, or in my specific example – learning how much you owe the state and federal governments in taxes.

All of the above – and more – will cause an immediate, knee-jerk emotional reaction. Or there might be a pile-up of reactions related to the shit that occurs one on top of the other on top of another. (Such as my above feelings of anger-frustration-worthlessness coming together).

You don’t control these because they are so immediate, so swift, that all you have are inherent behaviors, habits, values, and beliefs to work from. The conscious mind takes it in while the subconscious mind reacts with “What the fuck?!?”

While you might be able to alter the knee-jerk reactions, unless they are incredibly detrimental (i.e. physically harming you or someone/something else) they simply are. And once that initial instance has happened – you can take control over how you’re thinking and feeling.

How soon? That’s your call. But the sooner you recognize and acknowledge that visceral reaction, the sooner you can move past it.

You get to choose how to feel

Within 2 minutes of getting the news of my taxes, I experienced a visceral reaction of anger, frustration, and worthlessness. There it all was, piled on and weighing me down like sandbags over my shoulders.

But I recognized the reaction I was having. I proceeded to acknowledge it. Then – I paused and reflected on it.

Anger? Perfectly natural. Who wants to give more of your hard-earned money to the government?  I mean, yeah, I desire to pay my fair share – but it still angers me that it’s as much as it is.

Frustration? Also perfectly natural. I worked hard for what I earned, and it feels unfair to have to fork over so much of it.

Worthlessness? No, not really. I earned money – which means the work I did was valued. I proved my worth and got paid. Sure, it sucks that I have to pay all this out now – but that’s the nature of the beast.

Lesson learned, so – what can I do to lessen this next year?

Sure, I felt those feelings immediately after shit happened. But then? I got to choose how to feel and how to move forward.

You always have that choice. And it is made via mindfulness.

Photo by Frida Aguilar Estrada on UnsplashMindfulness of choices

Mindfulness is the practice of active, conscious awareness. It works only in the present, here and now. Mindfulness isn’t about what’s going on around you – it starts with what’s going on within you. Knowing the outside world is far, far easier when you know your inner being.

You’re made up of 3 minds.

The unconscious, which you have next to no control over (digestion, breathing, synapses firing, and so forth).

The conscious is your present, in-the-now awareness of your mindset/headspace/psyche self (thoughts, feelings, actions, intentions).

The subconscious is where your values, beliefs, and habits live. The subconscious can be accessed – but mostly indirectly (or in the case of knee-jerk reactions). Direct access to the subconscious can only be done via mindfulness and the conscious mind.

Mindfulness is conscious awareness. When you practice mindfulness, you become consciously aware of matters such as what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, what your intentions are, and actions you do or don’t take.

Once you’re aware of these – you’re empowered to change them. Hence – you truly get to choose how to feel after shit happens.

But this isn’t automatic. Some people allow that initial, visceral reaction to be everything. This is especially true of negative reactions.

Before you know it, anger for the initial shit that happened expands. Frustration includes unrelated matters. Worthlessness goes deeper and takes a greater toll on your health, wellness, and wellbeing.

This leads to a sense that you have no choices. You can’t ever control how to feel – let alone after shit happens. Suddenly, you need to be treated for depression, anxiety, etc.

Choosing how to feel after shit happens can be challenging. But it’s worth it because it gives you control to alter your focus towards the positive – and related potential and possibilities.

Choosing how to feel after shit happens isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.

When you know, recognize, and acknowledge that shit happens – and your initial, visceral reaction is normal and not in your control – you can choose what comes next. Knowing that you have the power of mindfulness, here and now, to choose where to go after that initial, knee-jerk reaction, you get to choose how to feel moving forward.

This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.

To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the four hundred-and-seventy-ninth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Do You Truly Get to Choose How to Feel After Sh*t Happens? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Why is The Unknown Path So Damned Scary?

Because it’s unknown – and thus, uncertain.Photo by Patrick Mueller on Unsplash

On the one hand, I’ve never been one for plans, lists, and the like. It’s always felt genuine and true to myself to be more improvisational in my approach to life.

On the other hand, I’m a Virgo. Sometimes I get utterly ordered and freakishly clean, arrange, and set stuff up.

When it comes to choosing and walking a given path in my life, this can be challenging. Loose and ready for anything that comes my way – but equally needing to find or create order.

One thing I’ve learned about conscious reality creation over the years is that you need to be specific. But not too specific. There must be a sweet spot between striving to manifest an exact, precise thing (material or immaterial) and something that might not be exact – but aligned with or better than said thing.

Thus, I’ve had to get familiar with the unknown.

But the unknown is rife with uncertainty. And uncertainty is about as far from comfortable and familiar as you can get.

That’s often been what’s stayed my hand, slowed, or stopped my progress. The terror of the uncertainty borne of the unknown.

But why is it all so damned scary?

Fear and leaving your comfort zone

When you choose to walk a path for your life – particularly one that goes against the “norm” – you will likely walk out of your comfort zone.

Understanding what comfort zones are is hugely important. Comfort is a misnomer.

What it should be called instead is a familiarity zone or a stability zone. But the stability isn’t real, genuine stability. It’s a false sense of such.

Emotions are chemical. Thank you, science, for that. And like any chemical, the body can get used to or addicted to emotions like any illicit drug.

That’s why you might find yourself repeating the same mistake or setting yourself up for that same unwanted feeling over and over. It’s familiar, and there is a sense of stability from the familiar. You crave it.

Comfort zones are known. Even when they are not necessarily desired – because they’re known and familiar – you attach yourself to them.

On the other side of your comfort zone, there’s something you desire for your life. It might be tangible or intangible, big or small – but it’s different from where you are and where you came from. But while you have an idea of what you’re after – what it will look like is unknown.

And the unknown is full of uncertainty. And uncertainty is scary. It can be so damned scary that leaving your comfort zone – and the discomfort – feels like a bad idea.

But if your comfort zone is not comfortable – just familiar – leaving it might be both desirable and worthwhile.

But then the how, what, and why associated with leaving your comfort zone can be scary.

The known today was unknown yesterday

When you look at this idea from an historical perspective, it’s pretty obvious.

The familiar, everyday technology in our lives – such as whatever device you’re using to read these words – was beyond unknown to the people who lived only 100 years ago. Just 50 years ago, the concepts might have existed – but were not familiar to any by a very few.

We take this for granted. Things are and have always been this way – save that this is utterly untrue. Why? Because change is the one and only constant in the Universe.

Everyone and everything changes. Sometimes this is amazingly slow, other times ludicrously swift. But it’s inevitable, unstoppable, and always occurring.

Thus, when you zoom into your own life experience and look from a less inside perspective, you’ll see that what’s familiar and “comfortable” to you now hasn’t always been.

My experience with this

When I look back at my life just 10 years ago, I see how different it was from how it is today. The familiar of then has changed – a lot. I have a different job, live in a different home, have different friendships, and am on a different path. That’s just the visible aspects of my life.

How I think, feel, and act has shifted in many ways, too. I can share one example of this. I used to accept being “the clown” among my peers. It was easier to be or make the joke than be my true self so that I’d be accepted (and my fear of rejecting sated). But that state of being isn’t who I am today – so I actively no longer play that role.

While some people still toss things out to recall my former “clown” state, I don’t accept it anymore. That’s who I was not who I am.

Sure, there are some similarities here. But everything comfortable or “familiar” in my life today wasn’t even on my radar just 10 years ago – tangible or intangible.

That’s why the known today was unknown to you yesterday. And that’s also why the unknown of tomorrow isn’t known today.

Photo by Joshua Sortino on UnsplashWas getting from there to here really all that scary?

I have no doubt that leaving any familiar place in the past was not without lesser or greater discomfort. That discomfort likely had uncertainty attached to it and the unknowns before you. But when all was said and done, and you look back on it now – was it really all that scary?

With some exceptions (because there are always exceptions) I’d guess no. In all likelihood, the fear you had in facing the uncertainty of the unknown was not nearly as bad as the actual happening.

That’s the thing about the unknown being so damned scary. It’s not the unknown that you’re scared of. Nor the uncertainty.

What you’re scared of is potential suffering.

Let’s say your company has been laying people off. You have concerns about being next. And then, you get informed the boss wants to see you.

What happens if you get fired? Will you find another job? Get tossed out of your home? Lose people because of their perceptions that you’re a loser?

All of the above are just expressions of potential, unwanted suffering. The suffering is what you fear.

Maybe you get laid off. But instead of suffering, you find a way better job. You don’t suffer at all – you experience joy instead.

Or maybe you get promoted. Again, you don’t suffer as you feared at all – and get something good instead.

The point is – the unknown isn’t truly scary. It’s any possible, potential suffering that scares you.

Beyond the unknown

At one point in human history, when people looked out at the seemingly endless Atlantic Ocean, all they could see was vast, empty nothingness. For a long time, many thought if you went far enough into that nothingness, you’d fall off the edge into a potentially far scarier unknown.

This repeats throughout history. Until brave souls undertake the journey. They set out across the ocean, across the nearly impassible mountains, or into the starry sky.

What will you find beyond the unknown? If you knew, it wouldn’t be unknown. But I can tell you there is one, known answer.

You’ll find something.

Yes, that’s vague. But when you talk about the unknown, vague is all you’ve got. Why? Because if you knew, it wouldn’t be unknown.

It always comes down to the choices you make. And if you desire to have control of your life experience, you must practice mindfulness.

Genuine mindfulness is simple. It’s conscious awareness, here and now. And you can reach it via any of these questions:

What am I thinking?What am I feeling?How am I feeling?What are my intentions?What am I doing?

Each of these questions can only be answered in the present. Thus, asking them – and answering them -makes you mindful.

Being in the here and now – and consciously, mindfully aware – is grounding and centering. You’re not in the past or future – but now. And that’s known. Really known.

When you recognize that the known always comes from the unknown, you can be more aware that being scared of the unknown doesn’t protect or serve you. You’ve crossed the unknown before and will do so again.

I’ll bet it’s never as scary as you feared it would be.

Can you see that the unknown path isn’t so damned scary after all?

This is the five hundred and eighty-ninth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Why is The Unknown Path So Damned Scary? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Care to Know Why I Believe the World Needs More Genuine Positivity?

Because positivity is an attitude that can create empowering change for everyone.Photo by Daniele La Rosa Messina on Unsplash

Why did I start writing about Positivity every week over 9 years ago? Because one Monday, I noticed that every single post from all my friends on social media was negative.

Everyone was either expressing concern about ongoing problems in the world at large, personal issues, hatred of Monday and the work week, and so on. A wave of negativity that was akin to sinking to the bottom of a lake.

I started to write about positivity weekly. The goal? Counter the negativity out there.

In the past decade, Positivity has become an increasingly applied buzzword. Unfortunately, much of that has been toxic positivity.

The difference between toxic positivity and genuine positivity is simple. Toxic positivity ignores, denies, disregards, and disrespects negativity. It takes a “be positive or else” attitude that’s utterly divorced from real life.

Genuine positivity is not a cure-all. It’s a choice of attitude. It uses negativity as the impetus for its very existence. It isn’t an all “rah-rah, be positive” notion. It’s a choice to look towards better – the positive – rather than sink into the negative.

That’s why I began to write about this weekly. And I believe in the power of genuine positivity. But toxic positivity often gets in the way.

Positivity is not just positive thinking (at all)

There are many, many messages being constantly broadcast about thinking positively. All you must do, they tell you, is think positively, and you’ll have all the power to do whatever you want.

This is the basis of toxic positivity. You are told that if all your thoughts get directed to positivity – your life will be better. BUT – you must avoid, ignore, and put blinders on regarding negativity. Nope. None.

That’s total bullshit. And this is why, when many people read or hear the word “positivity,” they cringe. And thanks to toxic positivity, that often comes with a thought like, here we go again – another message about how much I suck because I can’t think positively all the time.

The reality of positivity is not thought, nor feeling. It’s an attitude. It’s a choice in any given situation to pause, look at where you are, where you have been, and consider where you’re going – and then decide what attitude to take.

It could just be to go with whatever happens, happens. You might choose an attitude of aw, fuck it – doesn’t matter because it’s all shit anyhow, right?

Or you can look for the good in the bad, learn a lesson from the bad or unideal situations that you can use to change your life for the better – and choose an attitude of positivity.

It is a choice. And it’s not a one-and-done choice. You must make it often. Why? Because change happens – and what you choose today can and will be different tomorrow.

But here’s something else to take to heart.

Nobody’s perfect

Everyone on planet Earth is perfectly imperfect. Nobody’s perfect. That’s largely because perfection – like beauty – is in the eye of the beholder.

What’s more – there is no perfect. You might think something is perfect – but I assure you, someone else thinks what you consider to be perfect is an utter, chaotic mess.

That being written – you’re going to get it wrong. You can’t and won’t always choose to seek out positivity.

Shit happens. Some of it is truly awful. When your world comes crashing down upon you – thinking anything positive becomes a tremendous, impossible challenge. Positivity? Sorry, I’m too busy being sad/angry/hurt right now.

Guess what? That’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay. It’s utterly normal. I’ve never met a single person who doesn’t experience this from time to time.

Eventually, however, you will have a new choice to make. When you practice conscious awareness – you know, mindfulness – you can choose a new attitude. Then, you can choose one of gratitude and positivity – if you so desire.

The choice is yours. And you will make it many, many times throughout your whole life.

Sometimes you won’t recognize that you choose poorly until long after you made the choice. I’ve done this plenty of times – and still do.

But do you know what the beauty of this is? You get to make new choices ALL THE TIME.

One way to recognize genuine positivity is via gratitude.

Photo by Ashley Inguanta on UnsplashGratitude and positivity

Genuine gratitude is positivity. It’s positive for both the giver and the receiver of it.

Gratitude is one of the purest forms of positivity there is. Because there is no way to be grateful or thankful and negative.

Genuine gratitude is positive both for the person giving it and the person receiving it. This is incredibly empowering.

One of the best ways to experience genuine positivity is via genuine gratitude. And gratitude is more than thought and feeling – it’s a full-blown attitude.

Accountability

Finally, I’d like to address the elephant in the room. Accountability.

If you look at many of the problems in the world today – the root cause is a lack of accountability. Rather than be accountable for jack shit – from the government to business to individuals – blame usually takes precedence.

Ludicrous amounts of resources are spent to learn who and/or what’s to blame. More often than not – this is a distraction or obfuscation to avoid being accountable or taking responsibility.

Just look at the last American presidential election. There are people in power STILL telling a known, proven lie about the outcome – because taking any responsibility will be seen as weakness or some other bullshit excuse. But I digress.

The point is – the only person who can be accountable for you and your life is you. And if it sucks – sorry, this will be harsh – you have some responsibility (possibly all responsibility) for that.

Genuine positivity will only work when you’re accountable for your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions (in other words – mindful). Otherwise, it doesn’t matter. If you’re not being accountable for your life experience – your attitude won’t change a thing.

I’ve realized this in my own practices. And that’s why I’m being blunter with these statements – but also taking new approaches to my positivity – and being more accountable to truly empower myself. Then sharing this with you.

But from accountability, you and I can find and create more genuine positivity via our attitudes. And when you and I are more genuinely positive, we’re more empowered. That can be contagious in the best way.

Seeing how the world could use more genuine positivity isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.

When you see that genuine positivity is an attitude – not just thought or feeling – you can make greater use of that to positively impact your life experience. Knowing that genuine positivity can be found via genuine gratitude – and employed with accountability – you can use it to choose to better your life, and your corner of the world (and that might spread beyond you to the world at large).

This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.

To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the four hundred-and-seventy-eighth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Care to Know Why I Believe the World Needs More Genuine Positivity? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

What If the Right Path Chosen Yesterday is the Wrong Path Today?

Right and wrong are seldom written in stone. The path will frequently change.Photo by Mark Foster on Unsplash

How old are you? Do you think that you are who you were when you were 10 years old? How about 20 years old? Do you think you (or your path) are who you were even a year ago?

The point is that you are always changing. Sometimes, it’s barely noticeable. Other times, it’s sudden. Some change is desirable – some less so. But change can, will, and does happen.

This is because change is the one and only constant in the Universe.

Some people rue this fact. They like things how they are and often how they believe that they’ve always been. Except there is no “how it’s always been.”

The world of the 1970s is vastly different from the world of the 1990s. Similarly, the world of today is not the world of the 1990s. Elements are shared – but there are more differences than similarities.

This is evidence of the constancy of change. And no matter how tightly you hold onto something – it can, will, and does change.

Everybody goes from birth to life to death. Period, end of story. That is constant. However, what passes during the time from birth to life to death varies wildly – and frequently shifts and changes. No two lives, no matter how similar, are perfectly identical.

Why am I going on about this? Because when it comes to conscious reality creation, manifestation of the tangible from the intangible, and choosing to live mindfully, it’s an imperfect process. And it’s subject to change. Recognizing and acknowledging this truth makes it far easier to roll with the inevitability of change.

Along that line – today’s right path could be tomorrow’s wrong path.

Choosing is seldom one and done

Very few choices in life are utterly complete, one and done, once made. That’s because change is constant, and life is an always-flowing river.

Life – from birth to death – is made up of choices made and not made, paths taken and not taken, good and bad, happy and sad, smart and stupid, and everything in between these extremes. Life is a constant, flowing river of facts, figures, logic, emotion, reason, unreason, and experiences.

Everyone has a life. That’s true. But what that looks like is unbelievably variable. What lights me up and makes me happy might bore the crap out of you and make you miserable. Music that makes me want to sing might make you want to run screaming in agony. That’s utterly normal.

When you decide to apply mindfulness and use conscious awareness to choose a path – any path – in your life, that choice will have a result. Good or bad, consequential or intentional, big or small, desired or not desired – your choices will amount to something.

But most choices, when made, are not one-and-done. Even if you cannot undo a choice – which is a frequent occurrence – you can always choose anew.

Choices for your path are made all the time

From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed, you make choices. The majority of these are subconscious. You’ve made a lot of your regular choices part of your rote, routine, and habits. I don’t know about you, but I put very little to no thought into brushing my teeth, starting the coffee maker, feeding my cats, brushing my hair, and doing similar daily activities.

The differences between these choices – and mindful, consciously aware choices – are a matter of outcome. The rote and routine have a seldom-changing outcome. For example, if I set the coffeemaker up the night before, pushing the button will grind the beans and brew my coffee. This will just be how it goes – unless, one day, the coffeemaker breaks (which, for the record, would be a VERY sad day).

Choices made for your path are directional and intentional. For example – to have more books to publish and sell, I must choose to take the time to write. If I don’t write, I can’t produce new books. Choosing to write today is a choice for the path that I’m walking.

Some choices are fairly easy, such as the above. Others are less so – because they come with a bigger consequence, greater change, increased risk of failure or success, and so on.

Proposing marriage, buying a house, selling all your possessions and traveling the world, quitting a secure job for something less secure, and the like are along this line.

These are the choices that can lead to second-guessing, uncertainty, doubt, and other concerns.

Hence the question – what if the right path chosen yesterday is the wrong path today?

Photo by Christophe Hautier on UnsplashThe pendulum is in perpetual motion

There are no guarantees in life. Save one. Death at the end.

Hence, choices for the path you made yesterday that seemed right could be wrong today. Or tomorrow.

That’s due in part to change. Circumstances of today might have changed from yesterday. The unexpected can come up, and yesterday’s great idea might be less so today.

The path that seemed right yesterday might be wrong today. Or the path you set out on two years ago might not be right today. That’s going to happen. You don’t always reach the end of a given path – because no path is utterly certain or guaranteed.

However – why your path shifted from right yesterday to wrong today might be an impermanent, temporary matter. Only via mindfulness can you know if today’s seemingly wrong path is truly wrong, or if you’ve reached an obstacle or hiccup that can be overcome. Few paths are without obstacles, challenges, and moments where they feel wrong – but in truth, aren’t.

Conscious awareness is how you identify this truth.

The pendulum of life is in perpetual motion. It swings between the extremes of the Universe. Yes and no, positive and negative, good and bad, up and down, and on and on. That’s part of why yesterday’s right path is wrong today.

So what do you do when this is the case?

Adapt, overcome, and/or change, alter, or re-choose your path

Right and wrong are seldom written in stone. The path will frequently change.

Via mindfulness, you become consciously aware, here and now. That conscious awareness – mindfulness – begins within.

Hence, you know what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, what intentions you have, and the action you choose or don’t choose.

From the internal mindfulness, the external becomes clearer. Awareness within leads to awareness without. Thus, knowing your conscious self – your mindset, headspace, psyche – you gain clarity from within of the world without.

With that clarity, you can better see what does and doesn’t impact you – directly, indirectly, or not at all. That, then, lets you see if yesterday’s right path has become wrong today. And if it has – what options that you have to change, alter, or choose a new path (or if it’s temporary and not truly a wrong path, make necessary adjustments).

The path you chose long ago is likely changed – at least in some ways – from what it was. Thus, what was right then (yesterday) isn’t right now (today). But you have the power to adapt and overcome. Work with change – or against it in a generative way.

No matter what challenges you face – you can choose the paths for your life experience.

Can you see how your path can, will, and does change – and that you change with it?

This is the five hundred and eighty-eighth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

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The post What If the Right Path Chosen Yesterday is the Wrong Path Today? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How Is Empowerment So Easy/Why is It All So Hard?

Creating and/or finding empowerment can be so easy…but why is it also so hard?Photo by Tron Le on Unsplash

One of my all-time favorite books is Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist.

If you have not read this book – I can’t recommend it enough. I don’t know that it matters what genres you typically read – this book is just amazing.

The central premise is the idea of living every day with purpose – and finding your way even when the way is blocked. This is told via fictional characters and situations, but rooted so clearly in this world that it goes beyond fiction. Probably why The Alchemist is one of the bestselling novels ever.

There is a point where the characters discuss the central text of alchemy – the Emerald Tablet. A text that many see to be so impossibly simple that they refuse to believe it can be that easy.

Thus, many who seek the Master Work – the Philosopher’s Stone and its ability to turn any metal into gold; and the Elixir of Life and its ability to cure all illness and even stop death – engage in in-depth, endless, scientific and philosophical study. They create massive tracts and endless experiments to achieve the Master Work.

The simplicity of the Emerald Tablet is considered too simple. So simple, there must be a trick. It can’t be that easy, can it?

I relate to this idea because on the one hand, choosing non-toxic positivity and other relatively simple notions for empowerment to better my life feels too easy. How is empowerment so easy?

But then, trying to actively work with it, why is it all so hard?

Belief in the unseen gets corrupted

Many of the religions of the world see miracles as the purview of God or some other mystical godlike deity. Miracles only happen through the intervention of this higher power or an intermediary like Jesus, Mohammed, or Krishna.

The power to create is not an external power. It’s internal. And it lives in you.

Awake or asleep, conscious or subconscious, you have a creative spark inside of you. Maybe you already work with that in your life – and maybe not. But you are a creator – in one form or another.

You’ve been – and are still being – frequently overrun by messages. Messages of the worthy and deserving, special, gifted, skilled, and talented individuals. Individuals who single-handedly change(d) the world. Or – an other-worldly figure inspiring life, the Universe, and everything and ultimately being the One True Creator.

All of this makes it super easy to disbelieve your own power. When messages you receive consciously and subconsciously tell you otherwise – in numerous ways – it’s easy for belief in the unseen and what that amounts to getting corrupted.

Some of this is not with ill intent. Some of the great stories of miracles I don’t think were meant to be taken so literally. I believe they were meant to inspire you and me to strive for our own creations.

For every known creator – hundreds are not known. When a team builds something that changes our world – are they not all creators? To make anything that is not in the physical universe now, you must believe in the unseen to create it.

No matter how significant or insignificant it – and you – might be or seem to be.

How is empowerment so truly easy?

When many people see or hear the words “positivity” or “mindfulness”, they often conjure in their minds complex ideas that hooky-spooky gurus and doctors of psychology throw around as cure-alls.

Both positivity – in its nontoxic, true form – and mindfulness are so easy. And being easy, they are readily available and useful tools for empowerment.

True positivity is not an all-the-time, positive thinking, no negative thoughts/ideas concept. It’s a choice of attitude that will be tested along the way – because shit can and will happen that will be negative. It’s the choice – after the shit happens – to refocus and take a positive-facing attitude rather than one of negativity or no direction.

Mindfulness is also incredibly easy. All it takes is being present, right here and now. When you are present, you can be consciously aware. And all it takes is one question – what am I thinking? (Also, that can be substituted with what am I feeling, how am feeling, what am I doing, what do I intend, and the like). That question can only be answered right now.

What you were thinking in the past isn’t what you are thinking now, and you have no idea what you will be thinking in the future. The answer to this question is only in the now. Asking and answering it, consciously, now, makes you mindful.

It truly is that easy to take greater control of your mindset/headspace/psyche self and choose things to change who, what, where, how, and why you are.

Photo by Natalie Hua on UnsplashWhy is it all so hard?

The short answer is the endless messages of disempowerment you get all the time.

Sadly, too many world leaders, politicians, business leaders, and religious leaders truly don’t want you empowered. Why? Because if you’re empowered, you have far less need for them.

The institutions we created to form a community and provide structure in various elements of our world have often gone rogue on us. The leaders of those institutions become greedy, control-obsessed, and power-obsessed to greater and lesser degrees. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes not so much.

Whatever the case may be –empowered people self-govern and make more choices for themselves. That’s why those leaders seek to disempower you and me. Can’t have that and retain the false power they have, can they?

Another thing making it all so hard is our lack of attention toward mental health. Mindfulness, positivity, and self-awareness live in your head, heart, and soul. When matters of mental health get bulldozed by matters of physical health, you’re further disempowered. Mental health being treated as lesser does a disservice to everyone.

When empowerment begins on the unseen, mental level – which gets derided, shunned, and disregarded – is it any wonder that it’s so hard?

What’s more, formal education tends to do nothing to focus on self-awareness. They barely touch on critical thought and reasoning anymore – and many reject both as “triggering” and uncomfortable.

As a child, you probably experienced physical growing pains along the way. Growth on every level comes with discomfort. That’s the nature of life.

There are many things you must unlearn to be better empowered. And you’ll meet a lot of resistance along the way.

Not all resistance is external.

Comfort zones are mislabeled

Human beings in this day and age love creature comforts. And the majority of the world has at least the basics – electricity, piped running water, and food. Beyond the basics – much of the world has amazing sources of comfort.

If you are reading this, you have comfort above and beyond the basics. Sure, you might be struggling in various ways – but the basics are covered. You’ve likely got things you do by rote, routine, and habit you practice regularly.

If you act to break out of your routine or habit, you likely meet some discomfort. A sense of wrongness or misstep that might even hold you back. That’s your comfort zone enfolding you in its downy softness.

But, you might think – I’m not comfortable there. Literally, no. What a comfort zone is is a sense of stability. It’s a sense of familiarity. A comfort zone is a known quantity – even when you would rather not call it your comfort zone.

This is a subconscious matter that becomes conscious via your ego-driven identity. A previous or current version of who – that you believe yourself to be – desires to stay there. Hence, it puts up resistance to chosen change.

Overcoming this is easy. Your empowerment of yourself. That comes through mindfulness and non-toxic positivity, among other things. Empowerment really is so easy – but can you see why and how it’s also all so hard?

Recognizing how empowerment is so easy isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.

When you believe that empowerment is all too easy, recognize that this comes from a place of resistance created by both external and internal forces. Knowing that empowerment can be expanded by both mindfulness and an attitude of non-toxic positivity, you can see that – while it can look like empowerment is hard to come by – it’s truly as easy as these simple ideas put into conscious, active practice.

This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.

To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the four hundred and seventy-seventh entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

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