M.J. Blehart's Blog, page 29

How Does Mind over Matter in Mindfulness Actually Work?

Mind over matter is a challenge many people struggle with.Photo by Cam Adams on Unsplash

I firmly believe that consciousness creates reality. This process occurs through the active practice of mindfulness – conscious awareness, here and now, of that which you control. Specifically – your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Working with mindfulness, you can make choices and decisions to actively, consciously create reality.

I’ve done this. More than once. Thus, I know that it’s not some pie-in-the-sky bullshit.

However – neither can conscious reality be created from the pure void. It takes intent and action.

When I was severely injured – I got hit by a car crossing a street in November 1999 – the prognosis for my total and complete recovery was full of uncertainty. Would I walk again? (I had a severely shattered right tibia and broken fibula – the bones between the knee and ankle.) Could I regain full use of my right arm? (My clavicle – the collarbone – was shattered and the brachial plexus nerve bundle stretched and damaged as such.) And if I fully recovered, how long would it take?

Yes, I had amazing doctors, therapists, and nurses. But the initial prognosis was years of recovery, and total recovery possible, but not definite.

That wasn’t what I saw. It wasn’t how I allowed the outcome to play in my mind, heart, and soul. I saw myself healing completely, walking again without difficulty or aid, and using my right arm normally, too.

My total focus was on healing. No doubt, no question, no second-guessing. I’d recover completely and totally. This was my reality.

And I did. A year after the accident, I was walking without a limp and had almost full use of my arm. Not long after that, unless I told you about this or showed my scars, you’d never know how badly injured I’d been.

This is empirical proof that mind over matter consciously creates.

Consciousness creates reality

One of the biggest problems with ideas like the Law of Attraction and manifestation is that they are akin to a magic genie. Make a wish – make it with all your heart – and it will come true. Nothing else is required. Use positive thinking all by itself and you can get anything and everything you desire.

But that’s not the whole story. First, you need to work from a place of mindfulness – true knowledge of the thoughts, feelings, and intentions (here and now) attached to your desire. Half-considered, semi-conscious desires cannot be made manifest because they’re not fully formed, thus not giving them the fuel that they need.

Second, there must be action. But that’s not necessarily literal. Action can be actively, consciously envisioning the reality you desire to see made manifest.

For example – while working with my doctors, physical and occupational therapists, and nurses during my recovery – I expended lots of action. And I saw everything I did rebuilding muscles, repairing damage, and increasing my overall health, wellness, and wellbeing.

My consciously created reality of a totally healed and healthy body didn’t come from the void or thin air. There was thought, feeling, intention, action, and overall effort.

So where does mind over matter come in?

Mind over matter and learned lessons

As children, we’re taught many things. Among them, we learn we have a mind and body (and though some might disagree, a spirit). These physical manifestations of who we are is what we are.

Then, we’re taught that there is a within and a without. Things exist on a microscopic level, a macroscopic level, and an utterly invisible energetic level. You are a physical being amidst all of that.

We develop identities as we mature and learn reason and logic. The awakening of the conscious mind comes after you’ve learned how nothing is connected.

Yet both metaphysics and quantum physics agree that that’s just not true. The opposite is. Hence – EVERYTHING is connected.

Matter – like the keyboard beneath my fingers – is barely a fraction of a fraction of the totality of what makes up life, the Universe, and everything. Because no matter what it is – you, me, cars, trees, buildings, planets, galaxies, and all else – energy is its core. At its most root level, it’s made of energy.

We think we’re all disconnected from not just one another, but deeper philosophies, the root energies of the Universe, and much more. But that’s not the truth. The truth is all of it – EVERYTHING – is connected. And all of it is made of energy.

Mind over matter, in this regard, is unlearning these “truths” for a broader, energy-based, connected reality. And once you start to do that – you can work with it to consciously create your reality.

But that leads to a new issue.

Photo by NASA on UnsplashThe instant gratification/quick fix desire

Can you believe that, not even 100 years ago, the ability to instantly connect with someone on the other side of the globe wasn’t remotely possible? Did you know that less than 45 years ago, only 20% of American households had microwaves to cook foods in minutes? Do you realize the modern smartphone – a pocket computer – is barely 20 years old?

And yet – we all want things to be faster, more convenient, and more gratifying. Many world cultures have become hell-bent on quick fixes and instant gratification.

Inevitably, this gets attached to manifestation via conscious reality creation.

Some of the more popular movements around the Law of Attraction tell you that time – how long it will take – can be disregarded. This plays into the central tenet of The Secret and ask, believe, and receive.

This lessens or outright disregards that work – mindful, intentional work – must be applied to manifest anything via conscious reality creation/the Law of Attraction. The notion of it being instantaneous and without necessary work of any sort makes more people disbelieve – because when it doesn’t work, they can say, “See? I told you this is bullshit!”

The desire for quick fixes and instant gratification works against you. That’s because there largely are no quick fixes, and instant gratification is fleeting at best.

Conscious reality creation is an ongoing process that requires effort (mental, emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical), conviction, and repetition.

You also must surrender control for the how.

The how ties to mind over matter

I love to be in control. No question. This often shows clearly in my preference to be the driver when I’m going somewhere with friends or family.

How things work intrigues me on many levels. Even with theoretical notions that I use in writing sci-fi, I seek to know as much of the how of their workings as possible.

When it comes to conscious reality creation, however – how is utterly not your job. That can be a bitter pill to swallow.

The simplest reason why how isn’t your job is this – if you knew how, wouldn’t you have done it/be doing it already?

Sometimes, trial and error are the processes of development, and the how is only clear when you’re done.

Creating things – like writing a blog – involves a set process. The how is part of this. But just because I know how – now – doesn’t mean I always did. I had to learn.

When you’re stepping out of the familiar (your comfort zone) and consciously creating reality, choosing a path to walk, how is not known to you. But you still need to act mindfully, here and now. It’s necessary to be consciously aware of your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and actions to do the work required to make any reality come into being.

That’s because everything is connected. Everything being connected, and everything being energy, possibilities and potential are practically limitless. Mind over matter is literal – just because you can’t see it, touch it, taste it, and so forth, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

But without putting in the work, taking the action, and working from mindfulness – conscious reality creation seems challenging, difficult, and even impossible.

My challenge

Mind over matter is a challenge many people struggle with. I certainly do.

As much as I write constantly about conscious reality creation, mindfulness, and non-toxic positivity – I still catch myself not being mindful. What am I thinking? How and what am I feeling? What do I intend and what I am doing or not? I do not ask myself these questions as often as I should.

How often? More or less every time I let my brain weasels start running around and chittering away. When I let my depression settle in my chest. Every time I forget what I’ve done before, and that I am energy and connected to it all.

Part of why I’m writing this is because I need to do a better job of practicing mind over matter. This meat popsicle I occupy for this lifetime barely scratches the surface of who, what, and why I am.

The same is true for you and your body, too.

As I continue to work with mind over matter to consciously create reality. I see what I must do. It all comes down to mindfulness and being present here and now. And when I’m not – taking action to be mindful of my thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions.

Can you see how mind over matter works in conscious reality creation and with the paths you choose?

This is the five hundred and eighty-seventh exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post How Does Mind over Matter in Mindfulness Actually Work? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How Does Non-Toxic Positivity Better Your Life Experience?

Non-toxic positivity is a creative force for self-care and improvement.Photo by jasper guy on Unsplash

The word “positivity” might set your teeth on edge. That’s probably because you’ve been exposed to all the toxic positivity out there.

Toxic positivity is the idea that if you think positive – and ONLY positive – your life will be the best it can be. What’s more, toxic positivity rather blatantly disregards, ignores, or turns a blind eye to anything that’s not positive.

Positivity in this manner turns anything not positive into an enemy. Negative thoughts and feelings should be avoided or abandoned lest they harm you. But that’s unrealistic and unhealthy.

While taking a more positive approach to life, the Universe, and everything is good for your overall health, wellness, and wellbeing – avoiding, ignoring, and disregarding the negative creates unnecessary conflict. That’s because you can pretend all you want that bad things aren’t and don’t happen – but they DO. And you have zero control over them.

The key to non-toxic positivity is recognizing that it’s not simply thought or feeling. Positivity is an attitude, a choice that you make in any and all given situations or circumstances. And it’s not an either/or by any stretch of the imagination.

The cylinder between extremes

Many elements of the world around you emphasize extremes. Some are benign, some not so much. These extremes come in many sizes, shapes, and forms, both tangible and intangible. They include things like black and white, short and tall, fat and thin, light and dark, and of course – positive and negative.

A frequent comparison of extremes involves a coin. Heads or tails – one side of the coin or the other. However, this takes away a fundamental truth – the space between either side of the extremes isn’t the thin depth of a coin – it’s much more like a cylinder. And that cylinder isn’t solid like a coin – it’s flexible.

Why? Because many extremes are in the eye of the beholder. An observer might see a certain extreme as worthwhile and another as undesirable – at one point. But then, at another point, they flip – and the worthwhile becomes undesirable.

For example – JK Rowling was held up as this amazing example of an author who created a work that transformed the world of reading for young adults. For years, she was held up as a positive role model and held in high esteem.

Then she showed the world her unapologetic transphobia and subtly antisemitism. Now, the role model is no longer held in such esteem. The cylinder flexed.

The other important reason why the space between extremes should be seen as more than the narrow depth of a coin is that you and I mostly exist somewhere between those extremes. And every day you choose in any given situation to face one extreme or the other.

Extremes play their part in choices that you make all the time. But more often than not, they’re more about overall attitude than goal setting or any tangible, achievable state.

Non-toxic positivity coexists with negativity

Non-toxic positivity recognizes that positivity is a choice. What’s more, it’s not a pure choice that derails its opposite – but rather decides to take a generative versus destructive approach.

Positivity is a creative force. It ties to potential and possibility to build the world you live in. This occurs via empowerment.

How does this work? Ever notice how – when you feel good – you feel as though you’re capable of something? It might be big or small – but that positive feeling creates a sense of possibility for this, that, or the other thing.

Often this is fleeting and disregarded as insignificant. But while it may only last a moment – choosing to face something on the positive end of the cylinder chooses potential and possibility to build from.

That’s why positivity is a builder. Because it uses potential and possibility to empower you to create.

However – non-toxic positivity recognizes that negativity is inevitable. Shit will happen that throws you off your game. The unexpected will occur, wholly outside of your control. And when it does – and it’s anathema to your goals and aims – it’s going to be negative.

You can’t avoid this – it’s part of life. Friends come and go, jobs are found and lost, relationships start and end, and people are born and die. Yin and yang, opposites representing extremes. That’s life.

But the choice of which way to face is yours. The initial, visceral reaction of negativity to something that happens that goes against where you desire your life to be is perfectly natural. But after that initial occurrence, the choice is yours to make.

Photo by Eric Johnson on UnsplashNegativity can empower you

Lots of people have watched their life crumble around them. Everything turned to shit, negative on top of negative piled on, and it looked like there was no winning. That presented choices such as:

Accept and lamentReject and lamentAccept and fightReject and fightGive up and give in

All the above are a blend of thought and feeling. And none of them are written in stone. You might well feel them all during and after whatever unexpected negative occurred.

But they are a choice. For a time, you might accept and lament – but then stop lamenting and fight it. Initially, you might give up and give in – but then reject and fight. Whatever the case may be – consciously or subconsciously., you choose.

There are lots of stories of success that was built off negativity having an empowering effect. Some horrid thing happened that made you change in a way that involved a choice to be bigger, better, stronger, faster, wiser, or whatever.

That’s what non-toxic positivity recognizes. Negativity can, will, and does happen. But it’s not necessarily an ending – it might well be a powerful new beginning.

But the choices are wholly yours to make. Whatever you perceive as a positive or a negative in any given situation, you choose which side of the cylinder to face at any time. Non-toxic positivity empowers you to build better for yourself and your life.

And that is how non-toxic positivity betters your life experience. Non-toxic positivity works with – not against – negativity by presenting potential and possibilities for empowerment to choose for yourself.

Recognizing non-toxic positivity for how it empowers you isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.

When you practice mindfulness and become consciously aware of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions, you give yourself the power to choose an attitude of negativity, neutrality, or positivity. Knowing that non-toxic positivity recognizes and even works with negativity, you can see how it can be employed to better your overall life experiences in any given situation.

This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.

To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the four hundred and seventy-sixth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post How Does Non-Toxic Positivity Better Your Life Experience? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Why and How Is It Good For You To Ask for Help Sometimes?

You ask for help because nobody can do everything alone.Photo by Elyse Chia on Unsplash

I’m incredibly self-sufficient. I’ve been this way since my early 20s. Asking for help doesn’t come easily to me.

This is due to any number of reasons, ranging from control issues, fear of appearing weak, and fear of rejection, to having my self-respect lost both to myself and others. And of course, there have been outside lessons borne of human nature and lack of reliability in some people.

Self-care, self-awareness, and self-help are all about you, the individual. The answers, thus, will be found within rather than without.

Because these answers are found within, nobody but you can find and discern them. You, and you alone, can have a mindful, conscious awareness of these.

But the process doesn’t need to be completely solo. And sometimes, you’ll reach points where you must ask for help to get where you desire to be.

Sometimes it’s a very good thing to ask for help.

Health, wellness, and wellbeing issues

I know my body rather well. As such, I’m in tune with large aspects of my health, wellness, and wellbeing.

For this reason, I do at least some exercise every day, meditate daily, and have taken up journaling again.

Sometime in the very recent past, an old injury, which hasn’t bothered me in over 25 years, came back. Tennis elbow – or, in my case, since I don’t play tennis – fencer’s elbow. Tendonitis.

Then, for added fun, around the same time, something happened to my left hand, and it felt like I’d dislocated my ring finger. Discomfort ensued.

While I could have run with my guesses about this, and listened to my body – I decided professional help was the answer. Now, there’s a diagnosis. I was right about the elbow. The finger – apparently, I have developed a trigger finger. But, rather than suffer, steps have been taken to heal it.

Getting help was the answer.

There have been a lot of things happening in my life that are impacting my overall mental, emotional, and spiritual health. That, in turn, is impacting my physical health – and will worsen, if I don’t deal with it.

For the sake of my mental, emotional, and spiritual health, I write blogs. As mentioned above, I’ve also been striving to get back into meditation regularly, and have begun daily journaling again. And they certainly help.

But I also recognize that it’s not enough. I need more help, and that specifically means therapy.

After months of hemming and hawing about getting back to therapy, I’ve taken the steps to get a therapist and begin again. Because without stabler (or less frenetic/chaotic) mental, emotional, and spiritual health, everything is a greater challenge in walking any given paths than it needs to be.

Ask for help when you get stuck

Nobody lives in a vacuum.

Even the most introverted people in the world still require minimal human interaction. We are all social creatures. Thus, you and I need to make connections from time to time.

While you’re the only one on any given life path of your choosing – and you walk it your own way – you still interact with others. Sometimes this is direct, other times indirect. But you still exist on this planet with 8 billion other human beings.

No matter who you are or what you do – sometimes, you will get stuck along the way. Why? Because nobody can or does know everything.

I’m not sure a legitimate measure of all the information on every topic humankind has any awareness or knowledge of exists. The sum total of all current human knowledge is probably an incredibly huge number followed by lots and lots of digits. Ergo – nobody can know everything about virtually anything.

Sure, there are subject-matter experts in the world. But even the best of these acknowledges shortcomings and continued growth.

Hence, there will be times when you’ll need to ask for help. Particularly when you get stuck – which you will, because everyone gets stuck from time to time. And there is nothing wrong with that.

You don’t and can’t know everything. Recognizing and acknowledging this is healthy. Because from there – when you get stuck – you can ask for help.

It’s good to ask for help. Why? Because it acknowledges your limitations and opens you to learning more and opening you to greater potential and possibilities.

Photo by Brett Jordan on UnsplashHow does mindfulness impact this?

Mindfulness is conscious awareness. That can only exist in the only real time that is – the here and now.

Thus, when consciously aware – mindful – you can know the genuine answers to what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, what you’re doing, and your intentions.

That leads to recognizing where and how you might need help.

Asking for help without mindful thought can get you unnecessary or wrong answers. It can also put you in a position to be more lost – because without being mindful, the questions you’re asking might not be what you need answers to and for.

That’s not to say you can’t ask random questions or questions just because. Random trivia is gleaned in that way sometimes. But if you’re trying to work out a path or life direction – the answer is what you seek, which requires the correct question.

In The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, part of the story is the tremendously lengthy quest for the answer to the question of life, the Universe, and everything. The answer – 42 – makes no sense. But that’s because the proper question wasn’t asked.

Mindfulness is the way to ask questions to get to the answer you’re seeking.

Ask for help to connect

When it comes to publishing, marketing, and selling my sci-fi, there is a whole lot that I don’t know. And if I don’t ask for help – learning it will be a challenge.

Just like working on my own internal problems and challenges – something like this, connected to my art and my career path, can help me. If I ask for help I show how open I am to learning, growing, and gaining more knowledge.

And from there – I will give back as much as I get. Because I believe that knowledge shared is for the greater good of all.

That’s why and how it’s good to ask for help sometimes. Because you don’t have all the answers. And though your path belongs to you and you alone, others might have knowledge from their paths that can benefit you, too.

But until you ask – you’ll never know.

Are you willing to ask for help sometimes to better your life experience?

This is the five hundred and eighty-sixth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Why and How Is It Good For You To Ask for Help Sometimes? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Why Is It Good That There Are NO Absolutes in Life?

Because no absolutes means endless possibilities.Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

There are always extremes.

For every good there’s bad. Every up has a down. Positivity is mirrored by negativity. Liberals face off against conservatives. Extremes are on either end of a given spectrum (whether you compare via a coin, flexible cylinder, or what have you).

The extremes rarely, if ever, exist alone. There’s a ginormous amount of color and grey between them. Yet you’re often being lumped into one group or another. Or getting compared as part of this or that.

While some of your views, ideals, beliefs, and values might align – there is never, ever, a one-size-fits-all solution. In other words – there are no absolutes in life.

And that’s a really good thing.

Why? Because that means when you are on an inevitable downswing in life – there’s an upswing to be found. Potential and possibilities.

Sure, they might not be visible in present circumstances. But circumstances can, do, and frankly will, change.

Change is, after all, the one and only constant in the Universe.

Maybe today sucks – but that’s today

The problem with absolutes is the implication – sometimes overt, sometimes subtle – that that’s all there is. This absolute is it. This is the way – and that’s all you get.

But the truth is that there are NO absolutes. None. Nada. Zilch. Zero.

Why? Because of the constancy of change.

Yes, that mountain has been there for tens of thousands of years. But it’s still changing – just very, very slowly.

You are always changing. Like the mountain, you’re often changing very, very slowly.

But that’s why there are no absolutes. Even those that are proven scientific theorems today might be undone by new data and deeper knowledge tomorrow.

And that’s fantastic. For the simple reason that because there are no absolutes, maybe if today sucks – tomorrow won’t automatically suck, too.

Just because you’re experiencing bad now doesn’t mean that’s all there is. Your terrible experience won’t be your only experience. Just one of many, at some point or other, between any given extremes.

Absolutes make certain things seemingly easier. Take politics, for example. There is nobody who is totally, utterly, and absolutely liberal nor totally, utterly, and absolutely conservative. Maybe mostly one or the other, but absolutely?  No. This is where the one-size-fits-all, no-substitutions menu of modern political parties fails us all.

But recognizing and acknowledging that there are no absolutes is utterly empowering.

No absolutes empowers the many

One of the biggest problems that comes from absolutes are notions of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency tied to them.

If you are not part of extreme group ‘x’, you will be left out, and lose out on this, that, or the other thing. Oh, and “those guys” from extreme group ‘y’ are totally out to get you and deny you your rightful entitlements and blah, blah, blah.

It looks ludicrous when you approach it that way. But almost all political messages, major advertising campaigns, and religions are built on that notion, whether blatantly or subtly.

You, and most of the people you know, don’t exist at an extreme. You live somewhere between the extremes. For example, you exist between positivity and negativity. Maybe you’re closer to one end or the other – or face one end more than the other. But you most likely don’t exist at either extreme (or even if you do for a time, that time is limited).

Extremes are absolutes. When it comes to you and me, we’re not a given absolute. But that’s also true of everyone, everywhere.

When you recognize that there are no absolutes, it empowers you. Why? Because it opens the way to almost endless potential and possibilities.

Absolutes imply – and sometimes state outright – there is no other option. This absolute is all that is, all that was, and all that ever will be. But that’s simply not true.

Is the world as it is now how it was 20 years ago? How about 50 years ago? One hundred years ago? No. Because there are no absolutes – so everything has changed.

Photo by Ryan Ancill on UnsplashHow does this empower you?

The notion of an absolute and nothing but that absolute removes choices. But when you recognize there are no absolutes, the choices before you increase exponentially.

Empowerment isn’t given to you by some outside force. You’re empowered by being alive.

Every day you make choices and decisions. Most are fairly automatic and mundane, like when to get out of bed, what to eat, what to wear, the music you play, videos you watch, people you spend time with, and so on. Largely, these barely get a second thought – but they’re constant, ongoing, and ever-changing.

Most attention is given to the big choices. Moving to new places, relationships, large purchases, and the like. What’s more, the collective consciousness frequently gives all its attention to this as well. Thus, it appears you’re only empowered to make choices on these rare occasions.

Nothing could be further from the truth. You are always empowered. Every. Single. Day. There are always choices and options available to you and for you. And you are empowered to choose them.

Because there are no absolutes, nothing in your life is absolute. Sure, it might seem like certain aspects of your life are set and not up for debate. But that’s not true. However, they might come with greater challenges or pain in being changed.

Maybe you can’t just quit your job and move across the country. Or can you? You are empowered to decide this. But you have no control over how others will react to your choices, nor can you predict what’s necessarily best for you.

But that’s not what’s important. What’s important is that there are no absolutes, and you are empowered to make choices and decisions for all aspects of your life.

Just recognizing the lack of absolutes empowers you.

Recognizing that there are NO absolutes isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.

When you recognize that nothing is written in stone and there are no absolutes, you open yourself to incredible amounts of potential and possibilities. Knowing that you exist between any given extremes – and the absolutes they represent – lets you see that all the choices and decisions for your life are yours to make – with both greater and lesser difficulty.

This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.

To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the four hundred and seventy-fifth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post Why Is It Good That There Are NO Absolutes in Life? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

What is The Ego and How Does It Control Your Life Experience?

The ego is an almost conscious entity in and of itself.Photo by mariel reiser on Unsplash

The concept of the ego, as most people are familiar with, originated from Sigmund Freud in 1923. In his paper, The Ego and the Id, he laid out what has become a major foundation for psychoanalysis that’s still applied today.

To summarize (probably poorly), Freud’s concept of the ego was focused on the self – between the fun-loving and impulsive Id and the spiritual and ethereal Superego.

Freud’s take on the ego is not the origin of the word. It comes from the Latin, meaning “I”. In metaphysics, around the early 1700s, ego came to define the thinking – feeling – acting – self.

As I’ve studied and explored numerous avenues of mindfulness, conscious reality creation, and the subconscious and conscious minds, I’ve developed my own definition of ego.

But to properly define it, let’s look at how everyone is of 2 minds to begin with.

The conscious and subconscious minds

Everyone has both a conscious and a subconscious mind. (There’s a good argument for an Unconscious mind, too. But it’s almost entirely inaccessible to us, so not relevant here).

The subconscious mind is like your computer’s operating system. It’s always running in the background, both with regularly accessed data and old info rooted deep – and even sometimes forgotten.

Your subconscious mind is where your deepest core elements of who, what, where, why, and how you are, live. Specifically, your values, beliefs, and habits.

Your subconscious mind works by rote and routine, habitually absorbing information like a sponge. Much of what’s within is harmless. But old values and outdated beliefs, unchecked, can cause issues you’re your mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

But the subconscious mind can be looked into more deeply. Not be someone on the outside – but by you. And this is done via your conscious mind.

Your conscious mind is engaged when you actively take hold of it. Doing so is a matter of being mindful of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. That mindfulness is conscious awareness – and is a product of the here and now.

The conscious mind can only be engaged in the present. But when you do, you become knowing of your inner mindset/headspace/psyche self. That awareness puts you in control of your life experience.

But it also empowers you to dig into your subconscious mind. That’s how you actively change a habit, alter a belief, or add/remove/shift a value.

Because the subconscious mind can only be accessed by the conscious mind, when you are living by rote and routine – and not actively, consciously being self-aware – how do you function?

Enter the ego

This is where my definition of the ego comes in.

The ego is a construct that exists as a bridge between the subconscious and the conscious mind.

The ego is formed during a point or various points in your life when you are actively, consciously aware. At that time, you recognize and acknowledge certain of your values, beliefs, and habits – and form an identity there.

That identity is your ego. It’s how you project who you believe(d) yourself to be and also mirrors that belief back.

Note the added ‘d’ after believe. The problem with the ego, as a bridge between the conscious and subconscious mind, is that it’s not always ideally formed. For example, if you experience a terrible break-up, job loss, or some other awful thing – and assume blame – your identity might be as a screw-up, an unworthy, or a similar negative identifier.

What’s more, change being the only constant in the universe – who, what, where, how, and why you believe yourself to be inevitably changes, too. For example, you’re not who you were 10 years ago, despite similarities.

This is the problem with the ego – it’s often inaccurate, sometimes wildly so. When you’re choosing to walk any given path in your life, if you are not consciously aware of your ego, you might have unnecessary obstacles already placed in your way.

Photo by Keegan Houser on UnsplashThe power of mindfulness

Mindfulness, as I define it, is active conscious awareness. In other words, it’s actively being present, in the now, and knowing what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, what your intentions are, and what actions you are and aren’t taking.

Thus, Mindfulness is present, of the moment conscious awareness. And it is the only way to analyze the subconscious mind and your egoic identity. If the person you project to the world and reflect back at yourself is not who, what, where, how, or why you desire to be – conscious awareness is how you change it.

Accessing that actively is performed via mindfulness. It’s not passive, it’s active, and a product of the here and now.

If you are discontent with the who, what, why, etcetera of yourself, via mindfulness you can access your subconscious beliefs, values, and habits. Then you can do what you need to do, actively, here and now, to change them.

Once that’s underway, by mindfully being aware of yourself, you can change the bridge between your conscious and subconscious minds – your ego – and how you project yourself without and reflect yourself within.

Ego versus your true self

Ego is an artificial construct to express the immaterial of you to the material world.

Your body is the vessel for your heart, mind, and soul. In the words of Yoda, “Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.” Your true self is within you, and only fully known by you.

But when you’re not actively practicing mindfulness and being consciously aware, you have the egoic projection that you send out to the world at large. And if you aren’t being actively mindful, or examining your beliefs, values, and habits to see if they’re current, you likely believe you are your egoic identity.

If that isn’t ideal for who, what, where, how, and why you desire to be, you might have an identity crisis. That, in turn, can manifest itself as depression, anxiety, and other mental, emotional, and spiritual issues. In time, these can turn into physical issues, too.

Just to add one more layer of complexity – ego is a comfort zone. Not in the sense of being comfortable, but as a place of stability and unchanging. Because of this, the ego can resist change and cause resistance when you work on changing yourself.

When you try to actively change yourself, the majority of the resistance you’ll encounter will come from your ego. Why? Because it knows that it’s artificial, and change will impact it. And egos like things just the way they are, thankyouverymuch.

Your ego is a construct and not your true self. When you realize that, you become empowered to change it and face the resistance it will offer with the necessary tools to overcome that.

You are worthy and deserving of any path that you choose

I know that I write about the ego as if it’s a living entity. In truth, it is. Your ego was created at a specific point in time. Often, after its creation, consciously and subconsciously, you move on. But as it remains, it forms its own unique identity.

Hence why you are not your ego.

When you seek to change your life – such as choosing a given path – your ego will often resist via squirrels in the brain (or brain weasels, if you prefer) espousing your lack of worth. Niggling voices telling you about all the “what if?” potential for failure, and how you don’t truly deserve the goal of the path you desire.

In the words of Theodr Herzl,

“If you will it, it is no dream.”

When you see a path you desire to choose for your life experience, you are worthy and deserving of it. When your ego tells you otherwise and sets its obstacles in your path, know that the truth of who, what, how, and why you are is in your depths – not your ego.

Do the thing. Be active and take action. Work with mindfulness. Be here now. Kick ass, take names. And know that ultimately you’re worthy and deserving of a desirable, engaging, good life experience.

Can you see how your ego works and how it is not your true identity?

This is the five hundred and eighty-fifth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post What is The Ego and How Does It Control Your Life Experience? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How Do Embracing Change and Positivity Go Hand In Hand?

Embracing change gives you control you won’t otherwise have – and that’s hugely positive.Photo by Andreas Dress on Unsplash

There is only one constant in the Universe – change.

Change happens all the time. You can’t stop it. You can either ride it out, stand in resistance to it, or do the work to embrace it and take what control is in it for you.

Change is scary because it’s anathema to comfort. Or at least that’s the perception. Change will pull you from an existing comfort zone in your life – which is where your often-dominant ego likes to be.

Sometimes change is huge, obvious, and impactful. This can be tangible, like a sinkhole opening up and swallowing your home. Or it can be an intangible change like the end of a job, dissolution of a government, or divorce.

At other times, change is nearly invisible, or slow and steady. The seasons change, you are not who you were mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually a decade ago, and the like.

No matter how it happens – change happens. Always. And you can’t do much about it. At least, in the abstract.

When it comes to your life experience and change – you can resist it, just let it happen, or embrace it.

Resist it or just let it happen

Please allow me to clarify. Resistance to change, in this context, is not attending protests against artificial change – like terrible public policy causing hurt and harm. Resisting change, in this context, is a denial of what is. Blind ignorance of things that are not how you believe them to be or how they ever were (real or imagined).

For example – black history and gender studies. We are not a world of only white, male, and female. Changing curriculum to reflect this truth – and resistance to it – is unhealthy and unrealistic.

But even deeper than that – resistance to change is not being the most you that you can be. Or most importantly – not the egoic construct you most likely see yourself as. Change will butt heads with ego – and that causes the kind of resistance I’m writing about here.

It does you no good because you’re holding onto falsehoods, lies, and the already done and over past.

What about just letting it happen? This is healthier than resisting/denying/fighting change, but not very empowering.

When you just let change happen, you cede your power and control. It’s the equivalent of getting onto a flowing river in an innertube and going with it wherever its current takes you.

That’s all well and good sometimes. The problem comes when – since this is inevitably a river you’ve never navigated or mapped out before – you reach a waterfall. Now, if you just let the river of change carry you along and just let it happen, you might be fine. Or you could be dashed on the rocks below, and/or take a hell of a tumble – but utterly uncontrolled.

But this is why just letting it happen all the time can be detrimental to your health, wellness, and wellbeing.

Embracing change is empowering

While resisting change is actively ceding control and disempowering – and just letting change happen is more passively disempowering – embracing change is the key for you to take control.

When you embrace change, you open yourself to controlling how it impacts you – good or bad.

Embracing change does not necessarily mean accepting change. Rather, embracing change is recognizing and acknowledging change, then seeing how you can work with it. What control do you have regarding this change? Is there anything you can do to affect how this change impacts you and your life experience? That’s what embracing change entails.

It’s about control and empowerment. Embracing change means using your conscious awareness to see what you can do to work with that change, alter it, or shift it.

Very little in this world is set in stone. Numerous changes that occur are themselves changeable. Resisting that or just letting it happen might feel empowering – but ultimately they’re not. Embracing change, on the other hand, gives you the control to actively work with how it will impact you and your life experience.

How do you embrace change?

Photo by Phil S on UnsplashPracticing mindfulness

The only person in your head, heart, and soul is you. Nobody else can think, feel, intend, or do, for you but you.

To some people, that feels horridly lonely and negative. But that’s a matter of perspective and not the truth. Because you are the only one who is you, that means you can take the wheel and drive your life experience where you desire to drive it.

This is done via practicing mindfulness.

Mindfulness, in this context, is conscious awareness, here and now. When you are consciously aware in the present, you gain the ability to know what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, any and all intentions you have, and the actions your choose to take or not.

This is empowering. Why? Because you have the power to choose both mundane and amazing things. That means you choose when to get out of bed and what to wear on any given day – as well as to sell everything and spend a year traveling the globe or going off on a humanitarian mission in a far-away land, and so on.

Mindfulness puts your conscious self, your mindset/headspace/psyche, in control. Rather than your subconscious, rote, and routine beliefs, values, and habits – or – your ego, the artificial construct you project within and without.

Most of the time, resistance to change is from the ego.

The ego is a comfort zone

Ego, as I explain it, is a construct between the conscious and subconscious mind, formed at some point when you were mindful enough to create that reality.

The trouble is that the ego is fragile – because it’s a comfort zone. And not necessarily comfortable – because comfort zone, in this respect, is a place of stability and familiarity. So, it might not be genuinely comfortable.

For example – it might have been formed after a nasty screw-up of some sort. So you might believe that you’re worthless, undeserving of good, and other things that don’t help you at all. And that is not only how you project yourself to the world – but also reflect yourself to yourself.

The ego knows change is its enemy. Thus, it will prefer to direct you to resist change or just let it happen. But that, of course, is disempowering.

Embracing change is a conscious act. That opens the way to making choices and decisions to better your life experience. And that is your superpower.

Embracing change faces the positive end of the spectrum. Why? Because it means you are working with possibility and potential. Rather than inevitability and hopelessness – embracing change presents options.

This is why embracing change gives you control you won’t otherwise have – and that’s hugely positive. But more than that – massively empowering.

Recognizing that embracing change can be positive isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.

When you work on embracing change, you give yourself the ability to take control of your life experience and be proactive – rather than reactive – to the inevitability of change. Knowing that change is the one and only constant in the Universe – and that resisting it or just letting it happen is a matter of ceding control – embracing change opens you to mindfully asserting control of your life experience.

This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.

To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the four hundred and seventy-fourth entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post How Do Embracing Change and Positivity Go Hand In Hand? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Regret Does You No Good – Because You Can’t Unring That Bell

Time may be cyclical, but life moves in only one direction – and regret doesn’t serve you.Photo by Marc Wieland on Unsplash

Regret can be a very sticky topic. And there are lots of things that cause regret.

Based on the definition at dictionary.com, regret is a feeling of remorse, a sense of loss, and coinciding disappointment.

In other words, the fear of missing out (FOMO) realized. I woulda, coulda, shoulda – but didn’t.

The problem with regret is that it’s unactionable. You can’t do a damned thing with it.

The past has come and gone. There is no way to change it, undo it, or redo it. The past has passed by.

Regret for what was, or what could have been, is like tying an anchor to your leg while swimming. You might be able to keep your head above water, but you won’t get anywhere.

And that’s why regret does you no good. It’s a useless, unhelpful, and – unaddressed – detrimental to your life experience sensation.

“What if?” and woulda, coulda, shoulda

There are many times that you might experience decision paralysis. Particularly if there are too many choices at once.

Either/or tends to make things at least a bit simpler. But as soon as you pass 3 or more choices, deciding can be even more challenging.

What if you choose poorly? Then, what if the one is better at first, but the other is better in the long run? What if ‘X’ happens?  Then, what if ‘X’ doesn’t happen? What if, then what if, and what if?

Overfocusing on “What if?” will create massive indecision, second-guessing, and self-inflicted trauma. Akin to the Dark Side of the Force, as Yoda said, “Once you start down the path of the Dark Side, forever will it dominate your destiny.” Begin to “what if” everything, and you’ll create undue, unnecessary stress and regret.

Once you make a decision, if it doesn’t turn out for the best or how you most desire it to be, you might face lamenting the woulda, coulda, shoulda factor.

What’s this? It’s the notion that I would have experienced ‘x’, could have had ‘y’, should have been ‘z’, and other like permutations. Similar to what if, but while “what if” is future-focused, woulda, coulda, shoulda look backward.

The problem with both “what if?” and woulda, coulda, shoulda, is that – unchecked – these can lead to regret. And regret in no way, shape, or form, serves you.

Regret does you no good

Nobody has a perfect past. Nobody. Everyone made mistakes, fucked things up, erred spectacularly, and just generally did things unideally.

The key thing to keep in mind about the past is that it’s done. Over. Unchangeable. So however it went – it went. Can’t fix it, alter it, undo it, or redo it.

For example – a long time ago, in a college not too far away, I had an amazing night with an awesome girl. Not sex, but lots of making out and cuddling all night. And then I lost her number, didn’t know where her dorm was, and for days our paths didn’t cross (and I didn’t come across any of our mutual friends, either).

She thought I’d enjoyed her company and blown her off. But that wasn’t the case. Yet, not only did it go nowhere, the friendship ended, too.

That was about 30 years ago. It’s a truth of my past – and simply is. And while it’s regrettable, I don’t regret it, in that it’s just a memory and not something I dwell on.

That’s the thing about regret. It’s something you dwell on, lament, and churn over and over in your mind. And it will eat you alive and pull you into the past in utterly disruptive and unhealthy ways.

Hence why regret does you no good. It pulls you out of the here and now, and into a time and place you can’t do shit about. It’s a distraction from living life here and now – at best – and/or an unlearned lesson that impacts your ability to make choices and decisions for the present and the future.

Thus, regret is a useless sensation.

Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on UnsplashBe here now

The best way to release regret and leave it where it belongs – unremarked in the past – is by being here now.

The only time that’s really, truly real, is now. The present. The future’s as unwritten as the past has come and gone. But right here and now, you’re empowered to take control and direct life how you desire it to go.

When you are in the present, you empower your conscious awareness. That puts you behind the wheel of your inner being – your mindset/headspace/psyche self. The most (and frequently only) control you have available to you.

When you take that control and practice active mindfulness, you can combat regret. This is done by recognizing and acknowledging your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. When recognized in the now, you can take control of them and change them if they’re not suiting you.

Thus, if your thoughts are stuck in loops of “what if” and woulda, coulda, shoulda – mindfulness is the key to starting the car and driving away from them. Because when you know your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions, you can take control, change, alter, and adjust them as you choose.

When you practice mindfulness and being here, now – regret loses its power. Why? Because you can see clearly that it doesn’t serve you – because you can’t do anything with or about it.

The present is the only time that’s really, truly, real. When you can be more present, you can better see how regret doesn’t serve you in the least.

You can’t unring that bell – so why regret?

Once you ring a bell – you can’t undo the action. You cannot unring that bell. This might seem super obvious and cliché – but it’s still important to know.

Regret for things in the past serves nobody. You can’t undo a damned thing – and lamenting that just keeps you small. It prevents your growth and evolution.

Equally useless is FOMO – and regretting what hasn’t even, maybe, come to pass. You can’t know how things will turn out that haven’t happened yet. But still, people build up regret over outcomes that are nothing but supposition, assumption, and guesswork.

When all is said and done, regret is quite possibly the most useless emotion/sensation you can experience. It’s not a warning or a lesson learned for the past or future in the present. It’s only lamentation for an outcome that never was or might never be. Thus, it’s not worthy of you, your time, your energy, or your focus.

So if you have regret – what can you do to let go of this useless, unhelpful sensation and move forward?

The power to overcome regret is wholly yours. Can you see how regret does you (or anyone) no good?

This is the five hundred and eighty-fourth exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

Please take a moment to subscribe to my mailing list. Fill in the info then click the sign-up button to the right and receive your free eBook. Thank you!

The post Regret Does You No Good – Because You Can’t Unring That Bell appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

How Do You Focus on Useful Things in the Face of Information Overload?

Inundated with information overload, how do you shift your focus to what you can control?Photo by Chris Anderson on Unsplash

Let’s face it – the world is mad.

Spend any time whatsoever on social media, watching or reading the news – and you’re bombarded by all the evidence of the madness – and then some. The 24-hour news cycle doesn’t make us collectively more informed. In truth, it makes us more scared, distressed, and unhappy. We don’t know the world around us and what’s happening better – we just get flooded with wave after wave of information.

What’s more – most of that information does you and I no good. None whatsoever. Zero. Why? Because it’s all about things that neither you nor I can do jack shit about.

Everything happening an ocean away is out of your control. Think about – what, if anything, can you do about things happening thousands of miles away? Nothing.

Likewise, everything happening outside of your locale is out of your control. Whether you voted or not – that’s the extent of your direct control.

Before I dig deeper, I am in no way, shape, or form, advocating for being ignorant. Voting exercises a fundamental right, as do protests, sending letters and emails to government and big business leaders, making calls, and the like. These are actions you can take to do something that feels important and right to and for you. However, apart from that – it’s all beyond your control.

Even as you get increasingly near your life experience, you still have very little control over anything. That’s because other people, random happenstances, the weather, and other such matters are beyond you.

What do you/can you control?

The dominant messages being beamed into your head, heart, and soul by the news and across social media are all the same. This, that, or the other thing will fix your problem and make your life everything you dream it can be.

Overweight? Join this gym, take this pill, download that app. Depressed? Read this book, get this pill, buy the big piece of cake. Feeling unattractive? Buy the car, drink the wine, wear that cologne or perfume. Financial issues? Take this class, use the gambling app, spend money to make money.

Every one of these is the same solution on the surface: Look outwards. Turn to the material, tangible things to be and feel better. Buy more, spend more, invest more, and seek more help out there from those better, wiser, more attractive, and richer than you.

To be fair – some people and things can help you and provide useful guidance. Therapists, doctors, dieticians, and numerous books, podcasts, and the like are helpful guides. But only guides and nothing more. They won’t have the solutions.

Why? Because you have the solutions.

That’s because you have the ultimate control of you, yourself. Who, what, where, how, and why you are is wholly under your control.

This isn’t entirely true of children – because they’re still developing the necessary tools to live on their own. But past about age 16 or so, give or take a year or two, you can get a real handle over yourself and take control.

And this is always true of your inner mindset/headspace/psyche self.

Focus on mindfulness

You are the only one in your head, heart, and soul. There’s nobody else in there. Thus, nobody else can control what’s happening within you.

This specifically applies to your conscious awareness. Your mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. They’re under your control.

It doesn’t always feel that way. And that’s because your subconscious mind and your ego do the driving when you aren’t practicing mindfulness.

What that means is that your subconscious mind is a sponge. It absorbs every bit of info it takes in with no filters – unless you apply the conscious mind to mindfully wring it out. And like a sponge, when you don’t, it’ll become oversaturated and potentially smelly.

Your subconscious is where you hold your beliefs, values, and habits. These can and do become outdated when you don’t focus on mindfulness to address them and change any that cease to serve you. It’s all too easy to let beliefs and habits drive you that you don’t truly hold anymore.

Your ego is the way you project to the world without and reflects back to yourself. At some point, when you were – in the past – practicing conscious awareness, your ego formed. That became who you presented to the world without and reflected to yourself.

But unchecked, your ego gets left behind and isn’t who you desire to be. But it was a construct of comfort – a comfort zone – at a past time.

The ego knows it’s artificial and fears and avoids change because that will destroy it. Hence, most resistance you encounter is from your ego holding onto something no longer serving you.

Focus on mindfulness, be here now, and be consciously aware of what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, your actions, and your intentions. That puts you in control.

Let’s address an important elephant in the room – marginalization

I’ve seen this brought up a time or two, and I’ve never addressed it. But it’s too important to remain unwritten.

Privilege isn’t some “woke” notion. Unless you are in any way part of a marginalized group, you don’t and can’t understand the struggles.

I’m about as not marginalized as you can get – with one exception.

Why do I write that? Because I’m a straight, white, middle-aged, able-bodied, cis-gendered male. By and large, the world is handed to me – and those like me – on a silver platter. That’s because I’m not gay, black, elderly, disabled, transgendered, or any other marginalized group.

I have no genuine experience with what struggles anyone not privileged as I have been undergoes.

The one exception I do have? I’m culturally Jewish. I don’t practice the religion – but I am still proud of my heritage. And though it’s been relatively little, I’ve had some experience with the marginalization of my people. But that is so minor compared to what many I care about do and have faced, that I consider it barely an exception for how not marginalized my life is.

I recognize and respect all who have that added struggle. When, how, and where I can stand with you and for you to de-marginalize your existence, you can bet your ass that I will.

But I think it’s important to recognize and acknowledge this. And how it will impact the individual approach to conscious awareness and the like.

You control what you focus on

When it comes to where you put your focus – you have all the control.

If you focus on the outside world and all that you can do nothing about – you’re not likely to feel good. Bad news sells, sensational headlines get readers, and rubbernecking is a thing. Maybe you don’t want to look – but then you find that you can’t look away, either.

You have a choice. Step back. Spend less time on social media. Put your focus on things you can and do control. Practice conscious awareness – mindfulness – here and how, and take the wheel to drive your life experience.

Know this – it is NOT selfish to give your life experience and inner being attention. Selfishness is much more specific than we make it out to be because of messages about people getting hurt by other people due to selfish acts.

Two things. One – you cannot control how anyone else will feel, act, or react to something YOU do. Period. If you set boundaries, get rest, and say no to things you don’t care to do and someone feels that’s selfish of you – that’s on them, not you. You can’t control that.

Two – unless you have actively done something with malice of forethought to cause another to go without, experience lack, and suffer hurt or harm from that – you are not selfish. What you do when it comes to self-care isn’t selfish. Unless you knowingly do something cruel, unkind, uncompassionate, and the like – you’re not being selfish. No matter how someone else feels due to that action.

When all is said and done, you can control your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. And in truth -they’re EVERYTHING when it comes to you. So why not mindfully put the focus on what you can control over what you can’t?

Recognizing you can choose what you focus on isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.

When you see how bombarded you are with information, and how distracting and disturbing that can be, you can see with more clarity how that impacts you. Knowing that with mindfulness you can take control of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions, you choose where to put your focus and attention so that it best benefits you and your life experience.

This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.

To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the four hundred and seventy-third entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

Please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. Fill in the info and click the submit button to the right and receive a free eBook.

The post How Do You Focus on Useful Things in the Face of Information Overload? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

Is It Possible to Both Be Okay and Not Okay?

I’m pretty sure okay and not okay coexisting is rather common.Photo by KAL VISUALS on Unsplash

It occurred to me today that while I’m mostly okay, overall – I’m not okay.

A lot of different things have happened in the past 2 months that are the reason why I’m not okay.

After successfully rolling multiple 20s since the winter of 2020, I rolled a 1 at Christmastime and failed to dodge COVID. Very, very fortunately I had a mild case. This I attribute to being fully vaccinated and boosted.

Meanwhile, as that happens, my mother-in-law fell ill and went to the hospital. My wife is thus away during my bought with COVID to help her mom out. Then, when she came home on New Year’s Eve, she was unwell – and tested positive for COVID on January 1.

For a week, she was isolated and quarantined, living in her home office. That was, in a word, weird.

And then, her mother needed her help when she left the hospital – so my wife set out to do that. She’s been living at her mom’s to assist her 4-5 days a week.

I did my usual thing, kept on keeping on. Gave the cats extra attention since we’re mostly flying solo here. And overall, I’m okay.

But I’m not okay.

Today I had to do a follow-up eye exam. There is ALWAYS a long wait at their office, and I knew they were dilating my pupils, too. So, I got to drive home with dilated pupils – just as schools were letting out. And that brought out a degree of rage I’ve not experienced in a long time.

That rage is a definite sign that I’m not really okay.

Human beings are complex

I’m often struck by how, in many stories, the villain is irredeemably evil. No question, that’s the bad guy, with nary a good bone in his body.

That’s never the truth, though, is it? That’s probably why the most relatable and interesting villains are the ones who have a motivation that, from a certain point of view, makes sense.

Real people aren’t purely good or totally bad. They’re a mix, a blend depending on circumstances and situations. You have good days and bad days, do good things and bad things.

It’s entirely possible to exist between multiple emotions at the same time. Thus, you can be okay and not okay – and choose which is dominant.

I choose not to spread negativity online because there’s more than enough out there. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel it, experience it, or deny it. I just choose to not face that way along the flexible cylinder between the extremes.

What does that mean? For every opposite extreme – black and white, positive and negative, fat and thin, yes and no, and so on – opposite sides of a coin are referenced frequently. But coins are thin. The space between given opposite extremes is not the narrowness of a coin. Hence, my reference to a cylinder.

Most of us exist along the cylinder, somewhere near the middle. In some instances, you’re more to one end of the extremes than the other. And you choose which way to face.

But then, it’s also a flexible cylinder. Change being the only constant in the Universe, it happens that the extremes flip and change, too.

This is why nearly nothing is ever truly black and white.

Complex, aren’t we?

Photo by Ian Taylor on UnsplashBeing okay and not okay

Recognizing that I’m both okay and not okay is imperative to my overall health, wellness, and wellbeing.

Despite working to be consciously aware via mindfulness – there are bits and pieces that you might not be so in touch with.

My focus is on being okay and doing what I need to do. But I’ve been through a mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical ringer in the past 2 months. It may not have impacted me directly when everything occurred. My being not okay might be indirect as such.

This is part of why mindfulness is an ongoing, constant process. Change is constant – and frequently unpredictable. Like it or not, change happens. You can roll with, resist it, work with it, or some combination therein.

But despite conscious awareness and focus on being okay – I’m not okay, too. It’s just manifesting on a far more subconscious, deep-rooted level.

How? Because no matter how consciously aware and mindful I am – shit happens that gets past my mindful eye. It takes root in my subconscious. And if I wasn’t aware of it before – only when it comes up to the surface – such as the rage while driving with dilated pupils – can I be aware of it.

It’s intangible. And so, too, is being ok. Emotions are intangible. They sometimes present material manifestations – tears, laughter, sobs, screams, and so on – but mostly, they’re immaterial and intangible.

Okay is also an extremely vague emotion. It’s not on either end of the good or bad extreme, it’s nearly true neutral. And that, too, is why and how you can be okay and not okay at the same time.

What do you do when you find you’re not okay?

This is a choice you, and you alone can make. BUT – you’re not alone.

Sometimes you need to talk to a friend, loved one, confidant, or therapist. Maybe all of the above. But not okay is not so alone an idea as it tends to present itself to be.

That’s because not being okay isn’t exclusive to you or me. Everyone experiences it.

What’s more – the collective consciousness of society is very much not okay, overall. World affairs, the ongoing battles with COVID, painfully partisan and distressing politics, and the utter disconnect borne of our tech have created a mental health crisis.

More and more, people are not okay. But there’s very little discussion of this and its impact on you and me. It’s the elephant in the room being ignored – despite being super obvious and trumpeting.

When you identify that you’re not okay, you must determine how. What form does it take? What impact is it having on you?

From there, you can practice mindfulness to adjust your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions related to you being okay or not okay. You can choose meditation, deep breathing exercises, getting other exercise, seeking therapy, or all of these to a greater or lesser degree.

The key is to do something. Take action. It’s okay to not be okay – but you don’t need to stay there. Work out how to move past this. It might not be easy, and the how might be elusive – but you can confront it.

Remember that you’re worthy and deserving of being okay along whatever paths you’re taking.

Do you see how you can be both okay and not okay at the same time?

This is the five hundred and eighty-third exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – using mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to re-post and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out Amazon for my published fiction and nonfiction works.

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The post Is It Possible to Both Be Okay and Not Okay? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.

If You’re Empowered Do Other People Become Disempowered?

Empowerment is not a zero-sum matter. When you’re empowered nobody becomes disempowered.Photo by Guilherme Stecanella on Unsplash

One of the most dangerous false narratives in our society today is around what equates to selfishness.

In many respects, nearly every act of self-care, self-focus, and anything else that puts you first is considered selfish. If you don’t give enough time, energy, work, and what-have-you to your family, friends, and community – before self-care – you’re being selfish.

This false narrative is the bedrock of a far larger issue. That issue is the zero-sum approach to the workings of life, the Universe, and everything.

What does zero-sum mean? It’s best defined as this: if there is a winner there is always a loser. If you win, someone loses. Conversely – if they win, you lose.

That extends out to artifices of lack and scarcity. There’s not enough of ‘X’, insufficient ‘Y’, and if you don’t have it you lose.

Worse, if someone else gets that falsely lacking or scarce thing, you will suffer. This has been used in every racist, sexist, gender identity, and similar fight. If “they” get rights, you lose them. If “the other” gets freedoms, yours will be taken.

You’re not paying attention to the world around you if that doesn’t look familiar. For example, Black Lives Matters is not some radical movement to take away white lives or rights – it’s to find and create equal footing. Remember that takeover of that federal park by a bunch of white militants several years back? Remember how no violence ensued? Do you think, if they’d been black militants, authorities would have hesitated to go in, guns blazing, and murder them all? That’s what Black Lives Matter is trying to draw your attention to.

My point is this – when you’re empowered nobody is similarly disempowered.

The zero-sum narrative is a lie

With the exception of professional sports and certain other contests – you are not in competition with anyone else. We are not competing. Not like humans were thousands of years ago.

And even then – communities formed and grew and stabilized by coming together. Ever notice how war does nothing but create a lot of dead bodies and destruction? Even if one side dominates, everybody loses. Truly selfish power-grabbers always fail. Always. Why? Because they are in false competition.

When it comes to things human beings need – there’s more than enough. The lack and scarcity of nearly every resource you can think of is false. And the competition to get jobs, luxury goods, homes, and so on is utter bullshit.

Yet here we are, frequently competing with one another to our mutual harm. The whole idea of there not being enough sets us all up to suffer.

Despite the material focus of our consumerist society – all the things they try to sell you won’t give you inner peace, satisfaction, or happiness. Or at least, not genuine, lasting versions.

Material, tangible things can help you grow, enjoy your life experience, and thrive in various ways. But the true needs of human beings, however, are immaterial. They’re mental, emotional, and spiritual – which in turn feeds the physical.

What you need more than anything else is to be empowered.

Nobody is disempowered when you’re empowered

Though I’ve only just begun it, I’m reading a truly fantastic book by Dr. LaNysha T. Adams called Me Power. It was this book that inspired this topic – and I’m convinced I’ve found a kindred spirit in the idea of what empowerment truly is.

In a nutshell – power is frequently focused externally toward others. You see people “in power” who have “power over” others. This sometimes gets so carried away that a cult of personality will influence the masses against their better judgment and needs.

Empowerment is not something you get from without – it comes from within. It’s your power, and it’s your right and privilege as a member of the human race to have and use it.

When you’re empowered, those who seek to have the power of control over you lose it. Why? Because you gain the knowledge of who, what, where, how, and why you are. Knowledge that, when all is said and done, only you can have.

This isn’t something you can take from another – or even from yourself. It’s given. Both in the sense that it’s given to you and that it’s a given for you.

You are the ultimate decision-maker in your life. Only you know your moral compass, what lights you up, and where you desire your life to be. When you’re empowered, you gain control over directing your life.

Does that disempower others? No. How can it? You can only live your life – and not someone else’s. Similarly, nobody can live for you, either.

When you’re empowered, nobody is disempowered because empowerment isn’t finite. Empowerment is of the self – and never lacking, scarce, or insufficient. And because it’s not a zero-sum competition, when you’re empowered nobody is disempowered.

Likewise – when someone else is empowered you’re not disempowered.

Photo by Felipe Bastias on UnsplashMindfulness plays its part

You’re empowered not by some other being or entity – it comes from within. It’s a product of yourself. And that is generated via conscious awareness.

Conscious awareness – mindfulness – is self-knowledge, here and now. Mindfulness is conscious awareness of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions. With that awareness comes control.

When you consciously, actively control what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, what you’re doing, and your intentions – you’ve empowered yourself.

How, in any way, does that disempower other people? It doesn’t.

Every single person on this planet can be empowered. And when society empowers any marginalized group – that increases overall societal empowerment. Black people don’t want to erase white people, LGBTQA+ people don’t want to force cis-gendered straight people to their identities, immigrants don’t want to take your jobs away, and so on.

But when all are empowered – ALL are empowered.

The false narratives of selfishness, zero-sum, lack, scarcity, and insufficiency are intended to disempower many for the benefit of a select few. Ever notice how all these narratives only take and never give? How is that to the benefit of anyone?

As to selfishness – true selfishness is the product of malice of forethought. You take knowing full well you’re causing harm, depriving someone of something, and with no kindness, compassion, or empathy for the hurt that inflicts. Some actions will be perceived as selfish – like withdrawing consent, ceasing to be a good-natured doormat, setting boundaries, and the like – but when you feel bad about it you’re not truly selfish.

Can you see the stories in the collective consciousness for what they truly are? Can you see that when you’re empowered, other people aren’t disempowered by that? Do you recognize that others being empowered doesn’t disempower you?

Recognizing that when you’re empowered others aren’t disempowered (and vice versa) isn’t hard

It’s all about working with mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and intentions to direct your actions.

When you see and recognize the false narratives around selfishness, zero-sum, lack, scarcity, and insufficiency, you can be more aware of how when you’re empowered, others aren’t disempowered –  and vice versa. Knowing that with mindfulness you can take control of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions, you can give more kindness, compassion, and empathy for the wants and needs of others.

This empowers you – and in turn, your empowerment can empower others around you. Then that can expand to change the bigger picture matters, too.

Taking an approach to positivity and negativity – from the vast cylinder that exists between them – shifts matters in a way to open more dialogue. In that form, you can explore and share where you are between the extremes and how that impacts you here and now.

Choosing thoughts, feelings, actions, and intentions for yourself employs positivity for realizing amazing potential and possibilities for your life.

Lastly, the better aware you are of yourself in the now, the more you can do to choose and decide how your life experiences will be. When that empowers you, it can also open those around you to their empowerment.

To me, that’s a worthwhile endeavor to explore and share.

Thank you for coming along on this journey.

This is the four hundred and seventy-second entry of my Positivity series. I hope that these weekly messages might help spread positive energies for everyone. Feel free to share, re-blog, and spread the positivity.

Please visit here to explore all my published works – both fiction and non-fiction.

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The post If You’re Empowered Do Other People Become Disempowered? appeared first on The Ramblings of the Titanium Don.