Evan Sanders's Blog, page 3

The Voice That Just Knows

There’s a voice within you that just knows.

When you quiet everything down, you’ll start to hear it whisper. What is it guiding you to do? Who is it telling you to be? Where is it telling you to go?⁠
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No one can tell you more about your path than this ancient voice.

Its wisdom is infinite. But the hardest task of all is learning how to trust it.

Most of the time, there’s not much traditional evidence to support its callings.

In a world where everyone walks by sight instead of faith, learning how to correct your course because of a feeling within your bones is incredibly challenging. ⁠
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But you’ll never regret trusting it. You’ll never find yourself on the wrong path. It may take some time to accept what it’s asking you to do. I promise you this though…when you finally do it will be the greatest adventure of your life. ⁠
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Learn to trust your voice. Others may guide you, but in the end, you have to make that decision for yourself. You have to discover that connection with something far deeper than you could imagine. ⁠
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Ignite your faith. Listen and believe. The answers you have been looking for have always been within. ⁠
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Just tune in.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project

Looking For Answers

For a long time now, I’ve been seeking context. As I’ve been navigating through the land of a thousand tomorrows, it’s been pretty easy to begin to look at everything through the eyes of judgement.

The Critic has been vicious at times. But even in all of that, I don’t know where I would be if I had just given up or even refused to change courses. Both of those options would have been disastrous.

Even if I wasn’t ready to take on what I needed to, there’s a strange feeling in arriving to a place that you know will change the foundations of your life. I think that’s been the hardest part of this.

I’m not being asked to do something simple or easy. I’m being asked to do the hardest thing of all – let go of who I have been and embrace the process of simultaneous tearing down and rebuilding.

And that’s honestly a bit scary. But through it all, I’ve maintained course no matter how delayed movement has been. The intention is still there. The will is still there. Belief hasn’t left the building.

The context I eventually found goes back to something I learned from one of my coaches a long time ago. The truth is, we are all beginners. When we grow and shift, we reach new depths of life where we have to learn all over again. When the expectation exists that we are “experts” that’s when all of the wheels start to fall off.

And when I look back on why I’ve struggled so much moving consistently on this path it comes down to the fact that I’ve had to let go of years and years of previous ways of thinking and acting that solidified themselves deeper than I could have ever imagined.

I did this to survive. These are the remnants of a previous life where I was at war. It’s been hard letting go of that. To tell myself that I’m no longer in battle and now I can rest. That’s been the most challenging aspect – learning to let go, get out of the way and let the process take care of itself.

I learned in a past life how to exert my energy in such a way that could move mountains. Now, I have to learn how to conserve that same energy in such a way that will still…move mountains.

yin and yang.

Just have to let go.

Let the garden unfold as it’s meant to.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project

What I Learned From Failure

Failing hurts.

Putting your heart into something and it not working out can be brutal. But like with all things, if you take time to really sit and learn from the experience, you’re going to grow.

Losing at something can become one of your greatest teachers if you let it. You can learn things about yourself and life that you just can’t learn from winning. Of course you’re not aiming to fail. But knowing that it’s going to happen (and that it happens to everyone) is a huge part of moving forward.

While the events that took place can be difficult to deal with on their own, the real focus has to be on your interpretation of those events. The stories you tell yourself about what happened can either make things infinitely better or worse.

You’re in charge of that. Make sure you’re looking at it in way that truly serves you.

Here’s a few lessons from failure:

1. you can’t avoid it. it’s part of the process. if you’re playing on the field of life, you’re going to lose from time to time. embrace it.

2. what you do with it matters. you have a choice – judgement or compassion. choose judgement and you’ll never learn. choose compassion and you will gain wisdom.

3. it’s a teacher. let what doesn’t work help you discover what will.

4. you’re amongst great company. anyone who’s ever done anything in this world has failed. welcome to the team.

5. it can unveil your greatest qualities. compassion. courage. fearlessness. wisdom. relentlessness. determination. the list goes on.

6. you don’t have to like it. it hurts when you put your heart into something and it doesn’t work out. it’s okay to not be okay. see it for what it is.

7. it’s not the end. failure is an integral part of learning and a stepping stone to becoming who you want to be.

Remember, you’re going to fail. It’s going to sting. But that’s nothing to be ashamed of nor does it mean that the journey is over.

It’s just the beginning.

And if you never give up, you’ll get to where you want to be. Just keep at it.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project

You’re Where You Need To Be

You are exactly where you need to be in order to become who you are meant to be.

This one takes faith. You can look to the outside world and find a million reasons as to why you think this isn’t true.

The mind starts comparing and contrasting your life against everything that you see. And you’ll find no shortage of things to be bitter about. It will just compound over and over again until you’re utterly convinced everything about you is deficient.

But you’ve forgotten one very important thing – nothing and no one you’re comparing yourself against is traveling the path you are on. They are unfolding in their own ways…just as you are.

It’s your journey.

No one else is on it but you. So knowing that, it’s time to start tuning back in.

It’s time to start looking at who you really are, the light inside, the gifts you have been given and listen to the whispers in your heart telling you which way to go.

It’s time to put your heart on the line.

When you ignore the inner work, you’ll feel lost. Wandering. Floating. Miserable with all the time you spend looking outside of yourself. And then when you finally make that shift to look at what you do have and who you really are, you find exactly what you’ve been seeking all along.

The treasures are “here.”

They are not “there.”

So take that risk. Because that’s where the magic happens.

Everything snaps together and conspires to make it work for you once you decide. Your best qualities come to the surface. Guides come out of the wings.

And most of all, you learn things about yourself that you might have never known before.

You are far far more than what you give yourself credit for.

You’ve just forgotten.

Remember.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project

Make Room For The New

Learn to let go of the old to make room for the new.

We are taught all our lives to hold on.

Most of the time it’s out of fear. But when you hold onto things that are no longer for you, you prevent the things that are actually supposed to show up from arriving.

You stop yourself from receiving the gifts of life.

The things in the past are gone. They’ve drifted off into the ether. You can’t go back and change them. You can’t redo them. Those moments cannot be touched. All you have is now, this moment…and what you do in this moment determines the story that exists in the future.

It’s hard to let go. I know. It’s one of the greatest lessons I keep learning over and over again. But when you do, there’s so much room for possibility.

You are free to create.

Free to be.

Free to choose.

Free to write the story in any way you see fit.

The most important part of all of this is that you can’t let the pains of the past prevent you from getting back out there in the world and trying your best again.

You’re going to get hurt form time to time. It’s inevitable. But refusing to play at all because you’re scared delivers the greatest pain of all – regret.

You have to be willing to lose…in order to win. In everything. You only learn and grow when you put your heart on the line. It’s not the end of the world if you lose. It’s just a moment in time.

Get back out there and try again.

Give it your all.

Learn from the past and move forward with a deeper wisdom.

You can do this.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project

You’ll Feel It In Your Bones

You’ll know.

Trust me, when that moment comes, the feeling is unmistakable. The mind is constantly trying to figure out where or where. Release that. Let it go. Trust yourself.

Faith is a very personal conversation for pretty much everyone. As the years have gone on, I’ve had some significant events happen to me where I first completely lost my faith but then it came roaring back. It was hard to deny what I saw and experience. Those stories are for another day.

But what I was left with was this – no matter how dark things may get, you can never forget that you are a light. I think we forget that at times. We look to find something outside of ourselves, but forget to look within.

You are so much more than you ever give yourself credit for. I know there are times where it’s easy to forget that. It can feel that life gives out beatings. I’ve been there I don’t know how many times. But you are far more than the things that have happened to you and the difficulties that come your way.

You’re beautiful…and I don’t want you to ever forget that.

Faith teaches you to trust in something far deeper than what you mind can see. It reaches into the depth of your soul and helps you come into contact that you may never have felt before.

That’s why I said you’ll feel it in your bones.

Because that’s the only way to describe intuition. It runs deeper than all the oceans. It’s at your core. It’s a knowing without “knowing.”

It’s your guide.

Trust it. Follow it. It only has your best interests in mind and would never hurt you. It may take time to tune in and really hear it, but it’s effort well spent.

You’ll know.

You already do.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project

You Can Do This

And the only way to receive what’s meant to be is to let go of what once was…

We are taught all our lives to hold on. Most of the time it’s out of fear.

Fear of loss.
Fear of the future.
Fear of the unknown.

But when you hold onto things that are no longer for you, you prevent the things that are actually supposed to show up from arriving. You stop yourself from receiving the gifts of life and traveling the path you were always meant to take.

The things in the past are gone. Their time came and went. They’ve drifted off into the ether. You can’t go back and change them. You can’t redo them. Those moments cannot be touched. All there is left is a memory. So embracing that reality is the key to looking forward.

It’s not about denial. It’s about acknowledgement. It’s not about hating the past (no matter what has happened). It’s about understanding and healing.

And then you are left with what’s happening right now…this moment…and what you do in this moment determines the story that exists in the future.

It’s hard to let go. I know. It’s one of the greatest lessons I keep learning over and over again. But when you do, there’s so much room for possibility. You are free to create. Free to be. Free to choose. Free to write the story in any way you see fit.

The most important part of all of this is that you can’t let the pains of the past prevent you from getting back out there in the world and trying your best again. You’re going to get hurt form time to time. It’s inevitable. That’s part of living. But refusing to play at all because you’re scared delivers the greatest pain of all – regret.

You have to be willing to lose…in order to win. In everything. You only learn and grow when you put your heart on the line. It’s not the end of the world if you lose. It’s just a moment in time. Get back out there and try again. Give it your all. Learn from the past and move forward with a deeper wisdom.

You can do this.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project

It’s Not About Getting “There”

Because reaching it isn’t the point. It’s never been the point. As you grow, become wiser, learn, deepen, expand…that version that you see, it will always just be beyond your reach.

And what a gift that is. That you can always have something to move towards. To learn from. To grow with. As you become that version, you end up so much farther along than you ever could have imagined. Then, it moves again, and again, and again.

We are all human (news flash). With that, come deficiencies, mistakes, old patterns, bad habits, flaws and the rest of the works. Embrace them but then get to work. Forget all the judgement that serves absolutely no purpose. Rather, see them for what they are and start making the shifts you need to make.

You’re bound to repeat the past if you fail to see it for what it truly is. How you interpret those events is fully up to you. You can deny it if you want to. But as the old saying goes, “You can deny reality, but you can’t deny the consequences of denying reality.”

Keep on going after it. You will fall. You will sit in the mud from time to time. You might even just lay there not wanting to get back up because life has been exhausting. I understand that fully. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been there myself.

But deep within you is a sense of resilience that always helps you get back up again. It’s worth going after that version of yourself that you can see just around the bend. It’s a challenge, but it’s worth it.

I can promise you that.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project

Heart On The Line

…and that’s where it all happens.

It all starts to unfold once you answer the call that’s been ringing for so long. Maybe you were scared of the journey in front of you so you delayed for as long as you could. But honestly, who hasn’t?

Who hasn’t denied themselves from moving forward because of fear? Who hasn’t limited themselves because of events that happened in the past?

Surely everyone has.

But you don’t have to stay there. You don’t have to allow the events that have unfolded in the past to control the decisions that you make right now. You can see them in a new light. You can begin to heal those old wounds.

And eventually, you can gather up the courage to try again. When you do, that’s when the magic happens. That’s when you grow. That’s when you develop. That’s when you start making movement towards the place you’re truly meant to be.

It takes embracing risk. That’s the secret sauce.

If you focus on the chance that things may not work out, you’ll never move. You’ll never change. You’ll never see what you have the capacity to see.

If you focus on your reasons why you’re doing it – your intentions – then you’ll start making those meaningful steps along your journey.

Can you ever really know what’s going to happen as you head in a new direction? No. No one really can predict the future. But that voice deep within you knows it’s good for you. It knows that there’s heart in the path and that’s all that really matters.

So take the risk. Put your heart on the line. It’s worth it.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project

This Moment Is Yours

Every step you’ve ever taken, the tragedies and victories you’ve experienced, the mistakes, the wins and losses, the courageous moves and wanderings through the unknown, have all brought you here.

Here being this moment, as your eyes hit these words. Present. Pure. A endless amount of possibility. And in this brief moment we have together, I want you to remember something you’ve always known but at some point may have forgotten.

What you’ve been seeking for so long is not out “there” in the world. It inside of you. You’ve been searching for something you’ve already had. That’s why you could never find it. You’ve been looking for your keys and they have been in your pocket the entire time.

And you’ll hear many say that your journey here is to remember who you really are. What that means is that you have to come back to the core of your being. To get there, you have to wash off all the stories that have covered up that essence like thick mud.

The past is gone. It’s done. And the only way you’re ever going to be able to move on from what’s happened in the past is if you view if through the eyes of wisdom, compassion and understanding. If there’s judgement, you’re tethered to whatever moment you’re judging.

Seek out those moments you can’t let go of. See how you are viewing them. Is there anger, bitterness, resentment, judgement or criticism? It’s okay if there is. But recognize that all of those emotions keep you trapped. Begin to view those events through a different set of eyes.

The eyes of healing, understanding, love, acceptance. You’re not dismissing what actually happened or what they did. Those healthy boundaries are good. But you are saying to yourself, “It’s time for me to get my life back. To own this story so I can have all the power I need to move into the future the way I want to.”

That’s what this is all about. Embracing the story. The dark and the light. When you do that, everything changes. You grab the keys in your pocket and see that the doors open when you realized you had what you needed all along.

This moment is yours.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project