Calvero's Blog, page 202
February 24, 2015
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Jesus Christ, you guys?
Seriously?
I’ll take, “Poems I wrote when I was 13 yrs. old,” Alex.
4. moral support
The ex-boy and the ex-girl...
4. moral support
The ex-boy and the ex-girl are standing
at the front door of a house.
The house looks like an old hitchhiker
that was trying to make it all the way out to California but that no one ever
picked up and so it grew tired and gave up and just turned itself into a
rickety, old house instead of ever laying its eyes on the Pacific.
Holding a pizza with one hand, and with
her black rain cloud hovering over her head like some kind of morose crown, the
ex-girl knocks on the front door.
The ex-boy stands beside her, also
wearing his black rain cloud like some kind of morose crown.
He doesn’t know why he’s standing
beside her.
He doesn’t know why he isn’t waiting in
the car.
Delivering pizzas is a one-person job.
Moral support.
He is there for moral support.
“That was a good, firm, solid knock you
gave that door,” he says to the ex-girl, attempting to give her some form of
moral support.
“Thank you,” she says, proceeding to
smile.
Her smile draws him in.
It is like nothing he’s even seen
before.
Her smile looks like a smile made from
the wings of dead butterflies.
Her smile makes him feel like dancing.
But the ex-boy doesn’t dance.
He can hear someone on the other side
of the door beginning to unlock it.
Don’t dance.
Moral support.
3. the olive garden
The ex-boy and the...
3. the olive garden
The ex-boy and the ex-girl are on the
road.
It’s been ten minutes and they haven’t
spoken yet.
The silence doesn’t feel weird though.
It feels fine.
And smells like pizza.
“The silence in here smells like
pizza,” says the ex-boy, breaking the pizza-smelling silence between them.
“Oh. Yeah. That’s because I’m
delivering pizzas.”
The ex-girl motions towards the back
with her head. The ex-boy looks behind them and sees stacks of pizzas kept in
red, fabric heaters piled in the backseat.
He also notices another black rain
cloud.
The other black rain cloud floats
behind the ex-girl’s head and has a bright pink bow on top of it. His rain
cloud and the ex-girl’s rain cloud seem to be exchanging cryptic looks at one
another. As if they’re either going to begin fighting or making out. Or begin a
fight that gradually turns into a hot, intense make out session.
The ex-boy isn’t sure.
“I’m saving up for a trip to The Olive
Garden,” says the ex-girl. “That’s why I’m delivering pizzas. To make tips to
go to The Olive Garden. Then once I make enough and go to The Olive Garden I’ll
probably quit delivering pizzas. And then I dunno.”
The ex-boy nods.
“I like The Olive Garden,” he says.
“Me too. Isn’t it lovely there?”
The ex-boy nods again.
It’s the exact same nod he nodded
before.
Only five seconds later.
February 23, 2015
2. ex-girl A small Nissan pulls up in front of...
2. ex-girl
A small Nissan pulls up in front of the ex-boy.
The driver of the small Nissan is what the ex-boy immediately recognizes as a very pretty, mid-twenty-something year
old ex-girl.
The pretty ex-girl rolls down the
passenger side window and leans over from her seat, looking out the window at
the ex-boy. Her hair is the color of The Civil War and she wears a red jacket
and a cheap-looking, red baseball cap that is too big for her head but still
looks cute on her head regardless.
The ex-boy notices her clothes are
entirely soaked and thinks she looks like a giant tear.
He likes her already.
The ex-girl looks the ex-boy up and
down, making the ex-boy feel like a piece of meat with a black rain cloud over
its head.
“Where are you going, darling?” the
ex-girl asks.
“I don’t know,” the ex-boy replies. “I
have absolutely no idea. Cars… I’m really just watching the cars right now…”
The ex-girl grabs the passenger side
door’s handle and throws the door open for the ex-boy.
“Get in,” she says.
The ex-boy looks up at his black rain
cloud.
He hesitates.
“Can I bring my black rain cloud with
me?”
The ex-girl laughs and shakes her head
as if the ex-boy just told her a really bad knock-knock joke. But she’s not
laughing at it because she finds it funny. She’s laughing at it because of how
awfully bad the knock-knock joke was.
“Of course you can bring your black
rain cloud, darling.”
The ex-boy doesn’t hesitate any longer.
He gets in the car and closes his door. Following him like a pet, the ex-boy’s
black rain cloud floats through the rear passenger-side window and hovers
behind its owner’s head in the back seat.
It decides to get comfortable, the
black rain cloud.
It rolls over a few times, like a dog
rolling around in grass, until, eventually, it settles down.
The ex-boy doesn’t see this.
He just feels his black rain cloud do
this.
He also smells pizza.
1. ex-boy A thirty year old ex-boy stands on...
1. ex-boy
A thirty year old ex-boy stands on the
sidewalk of a very busy street.
A black rain cloud hovers a few inches
above his head.
The black rain cloud is the size of a
golden retriever.
A golden retriever that isn’t house
broken.
The ex-boy is standing there on the
sidewalk with a non-house broken, black rain cloud hovering over his head
because he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
The ex-boy’s constant idleness/lack of
direction is the mother of the black rain cloud.
The black rain cloud itself is a
bastard and both the black rain cloud and the ex-boy know this, as well as
accept it, because they both understand there is no way to go about changing
this.
Not knowing what else to do, and
knowing there’s nothing to be done, and that there’s no place to be, the ex-boy
watches the cars go past.
All of the cars the same.
All of the cars different.
But none of the cars for him.
Awesome, awesome, awesommmme female-fronted pop punk.
Awesome, awesome, awesommmme female-fronted pop punk.
Hey guys! In case you didn’t know, this week is awareness awareness week, where we spend the...
February 22, 2015
Rich will be eulogized by his cup of coffee
Being too sexy for your shirt really does hurt.
Ow…
Ow…
